Black Belt Ready to Leave His Gym After Beating His BJJ Coach

[@tracy449]

In general I like what you said. but one of my previous trainers created a very negative environment for me that ended in my foot getting broken during training and I had to stop for 8 months to heal. I think your words can be applied in many cases, but in a combat sport where you are literally trying to breaking one another's bones, depending on the situation, it might be better to leave. My rule now is always, if it's a negative training environment, I leave quickly. Combat sports are too dangerous for me to train in a negative environment.

[@maxspeakstruth9988]

Well said

[@deivytrajan]

Define negative environment in martial arts

[@lapermits6193]

@@deivytrajan Example: Coach will violently rip a submission when in the position to, because you are beating him or on your way to beating him.

[@lapermits6193]

@@deivytrajan Or an upper belt... doesn't have to be a coach, but just someone who used to "get the better of you" previously.

[@af4396]

This is a bit different, and we don't even know the full story of both sides. This is between business partners, not just any student and coach. They should at least talk to each other and figure out where they stand.

[@1acarrillo75]

EXCELLENT advice!!! Couldn't agree with you more!!! Just because you can beat your instructor does NOT mean that you can't learn from your instructor. All BJJ black belts are constantly learning. . . Well, the ones the keep an open mind. . . BJJ evolves all the time. So once you become a black belt, you continue your journey learning the art of BJJ! Heck, even lower belts can teach you a thing or two once in a while! I earned my BJJ black belt back in 2010. And I NEVER stop learning new and interesting concepts from everyone in BJJ! Keeping an open mind means that you are willing to constantly learn!

[@mishrathium]

Train everywhere. Train with everyone. Never limit your options.

[@CharlesDoublet]

LOL, my wife was hearing this video as I was watching. She asked me, "Is that that Kentuky guy? He'r really good, he's done a lot of work on himself. What he's talking about is "rupture repair" and it's so important for healthy relationships." My wife charges hundreds and thousands of dollars as a stress/trauma therapist, and you got the same advice she gives her clients from Chewie for free. It's funny, so many martial artist/combat sports guys I've met and trained with, we would much rather be sent to the hospital than deal with the emotional stuff that comes up. I've been sent to the ICU from sparring in Hapkido and for years I would tell myself that rather than deal with the sticky emotional side of training. Thanks Chewie for some great advice. I'm only a noob at BJJ, 57yo white belt with 6mo experience rolling, can't wait 'til I get some skills so that I can do a roadtrip to your gym. You've really helped me to do the shift in mindset from traditional Asian martial arts to better understand BJJ culture and training.

[@TourniquetAndDeliverance]

Dang, new WB AT 57! That's great!

[@CharlesDoublet]

@@TourniquetAndDeliverance When I was training under GM Han in Hapkido, a 65yo guy walked into our school with no combat sport experience. He went on to earn his 1st-dan before turning 71yo. He tested with 7 other candidates that day (including my wife), the youngest was 16yo son of one of the 4th dan instructors. That 70yo did everything the other 7 candidates did, including high breakfalls jumping over a heavy punching bag. I think about him often as I'm getting toward my 60s, lol But thanks, training keeps me young.

[@eddy3011]

Good advice, both for the gym and for marriage! The only thing I'd add is that as I get older, I don't try to do the right thing to justify my actions. Doing the right thing is its own reward.

[@cahallo5964]

2:29 the increase on bone density also happen when lifting heavy things, not only from strikes.

[@Chewjitsu]

Yep.

[@MUSHIN_888]

Ahhhh, So that’s where “Oss” comes from

[@jacobbrendle1508]

My coach is a newly belted brown belt was a purple belt when I met him I've trained with him and now under him for about a year maybe less. I've tapped him probably a hundred times and not once have I ever thought that he didn't have something to provide me in the form of knowledge. I beat a lot of guys that know far more than me, just beating someone isn't what jujitsu is about it's about learning and you can't learn if you just think you've learned everything

[@user-sg8kq7ii3y]

Exactly. Manny Pacquiao, an 8-division world champion is trained and coached by Freddie Roach. Roach has never won even a single world title. Pacquiao is also trained and coached by his best friend, Buboy Fernandez, a man who knew nothing about boxing, and who never fought professionally. Yet PacMan depends on both Roach and Buboy to prepare him for battle.

[@greenwood-1426]

I'm the guy in the video little update: My coach and I talked things through around a coffee now he accepted the situation and as a prove of submission he will let me sleep with his wife twice a week from now on. Thanks Chewie for the quick answer

[@user-go2xi7zq5q]

Lmao

[@SirSleepyBear]

He’s going to open up his own gym now 😂

[@waaagh3203]

This confuses me. I thought you could only fight to the death with your master, and if you win you become the master of the gym? Is this not how it works?

[@luvo84]

Awesome advice chewie…. Much love from down under. I have been through a few gyms coaching and training in my 12 years of bjj. I have always expressed my emotions and talked it out if there was some toxic shit going on at the gym. But that said, if they don’t listen and don’t hear your view or are willing to compromise then you should look at a more healthy gym that encourages people to grow not just in bjj but in life…… Getting a blackbelt in bjj is a life journey and you make friends for life, make sure those people are just as emotionally advanced as their bjj and coaching skills as they are in big boy land (real life)haha Ps I just got my blackbelt 2 weeks ago after 5 and a half years of being a brown belt coaching every day twice a day and even though I have accomplished my life goal I’m still learning so much as a coach/dad/husband Nobody has all the answers but as a group collective we shall hopefully raise the bar and help others reach emotional maturity And create better people through being amazing coaches with out Judgment ✌️✊🙏

[@SimonBriz]

Awesome response mate!

[@johnnymcclure7860]

Was privileged enough to go to the Origin Immersion Camp last week and this gentleman was there. His Jiu Jitsu instructions were just as top notch.

[@mattmay9601]

I used to help out at a local Judo club. I watched on kid grow from 12-18. We did a randori session and he threw me with a perfect Tai Otoshi. I looked up from the ground with a smile and pride.

[@T_L_D]

spot on - be willing to listen, be willing to learn, don't just wait for the chance to talk, intentionally exercise empathy, be willing to change your perspective based on new information.

[@LarsAndersenFrihed]

Any good teacher will train some students to surpass him. Pretty sure Gordon Ryan is able to beat John Danaher on the mat. But does that mean Danaher is a bad coach for Gordon? Ofc not.

[@real_essential_protectiona5894]

Absolutely phenomenal answer to this question. Clearly rooted in boatloads of experience! Well done! 👊🥋🙏🏼

[@amck72]

It`s a good thing Gordon Ryan doesn`t have this mind set or else he would of left Danaher years ago. Beating your teacher doesn`t mean you can no longer learn from him.

[@MinhaFamiliaAQBJJ]

Church time🤜🤛 Great words from El Señor Chew. I left my school after about 12 years. My coach got divorced. His wife kept the school and it went downhill from there. So I had to leave because I just wanted to do jiu jitsu. And if there is no Jiu-Jitsu going on at a Jiu-Jitsu school then there's no point in staying. I was at another school with my buddy for about 3 years and now I am about to wrap up my second month with my own School open. But anywho our goal as instructors is for our students to be better than us. What is the point of teaching them all this stuff if they don't improve. Yes of course they will show Improvement against their teammates but I really enjoy when my students catch me with something that I showed them. For one it lets me know that I'm doing my job right. Two it shows that they are improving three it's going to make me improve because now I have to come up with a way to defend that move. The cycle just keeps going and going. It just sounds like that other guy has a really big ego

[@graciescottsdale]

As long as everyone can do it safely.

[@MinhaFamiliaAQBJJ]

@@graciescottsdale lol it didn't end up safely for me. These past three weeks have been a battle. The school I was recently at...that owner wanted control over my school for some reason. He wanted to decide what I do at my school. I'm not into the whole affiliate thing. So yeah...things change lol.

[@graciescottsdale]

@@MinhaFamiliaAQBJJ Sorry to hear. Hope it all works out.

[@MinhaFamiliaAQBJJ]

@@graciescottsdale it is working out fabulous honestly. There is no drama to deal with at all. I get to do things for my students like I have always wanted. I have an open door policy. I tell them if there is something that you think I can do to better serve everyone let me know. If it makes sense then I make it happen. Of course the finances need to be there. If it isn't within budget then I put it on the "make this happen" list. Like right now I have a crash pad on the list. It's a good 500-700 dollars that it's gonna take so it will take a little longer to have done but it will get done. It is a great investment because we are able to practice those big hard takedowns. It is a different feeling when you are able to really go for the takedown at 100% and not worry about anybody getting hurt. In my personal opinion and experience it is important for the body and the mind to get a feel for how it is to take someone down hard. The first time I "seo nagi'd" somebody with full force...it was so satisfying lol. Or double legged someone and being able to lift em up and dump em like a spine buster in WWE! ohhhh man it was marvelous 😂😂 Anywho back to the point.... My students have never really used one. I have two that have used a crash pad. So I am going to do whatever I need to do to get one for them!! This is something I was never able to do at the old school I was at even when I offered to buy it with my own money. "Waste of space", "their takedowns aren't all that great and you want them slamming each other?" "Hardly any schools have one here and everyone seems to have good takedowns when I see their students compete at tournaments". I DONT CARE ABOUT TOURNAMENTS!!! Ahhhh anywho lol sorry man felt good letting that out. Enjoy your night!!

[@graciescottsdale]

@@MinhaFamiliaAQBJJ Your students are lucky to have you.

[@t-roy13]

Empathy. It’s something we all need without compromising our morals, ethics, etc.

[@ssssaintmarcus]

Yea this is silly…I am a purple belt who can beat the hell of the owner who is a three or four stripe BB. The coach not so much but it’s not just about who can beat who.

[@wemylee]

Love your world view! In my industry I've seen managers who could benefit a lot from a willingness to be humble and see the other side

[@ospice4612]

Chewy wow everyone needs to hear this with life in general. Great advice.

[@merkins87]

Great talk today: it came at a good time for me personally, and you approached a sensitive & common topic in a really mature manner. God bless, keep up the good work!

[@medicineandbrazilianjiujit8511]

Thank you Professor. Always learn from you. Have a nice weekend. Nikolas

[@chrisSea1346]

This is such solid advice to try to mend things and strengthen a relationship first.

[@SumZonedCat]

I know a guy who said BJJ was garbage.. 6 months later he Had A school, was a “ufc fighter” , then held MMA events with his students only, or stacked the cards, so he could always win, keep and display the belts. He did that for 7 years.. Funny note tho: He lost the only 2 fights he ever had in the ring. 👀😂

[@BGale47]

Great video Chewy ! great insight... Lame on the black belt for getting weird, but Id tell dude to talk it out with guy then think about the next move. As you suggested. IM an assistant coach and too many problems fester and grow from non communication.

[@nghinguyen875]

a true relationship is about two imperfect people refusing to giving up on each other. if it doesn’t work out then it was not meant to be and that’s okay. but show them that you were willing to fight FOR that relationship.

[@BarbellMethod]

As a Weightlifting Coach-the same issue arrises when an Athlete is able to “Lift” more than Coach. They conflate their ability to perform, with the Coaches ability to help them grow.

[@shiousakaki]

Dr. Phil level 100. If you ever retire from Bjj, Councilor Chewy's relationship KZbin will be a success.

[@Chewjitsu]

😂

[@saintoflastresorts2272]

I would have a man to man talk. They other guy might take it as an opportunity to up his game and takes it too far. Everyone has a different comfort level and as a business partner they should be able to have that talk. Something similar happened to me where I was training with someone that was better and when I was able to be more competitive he changed and when we talked he felt he didn't have to hold back and treated it as a competition roll like ADCC competition. After clearing the air everything became better.

[@KazzArie]

I train with a blue belt girl who subbed our 2-stripe black belt coach.. should she leave or he kick her out? 🥴 man. should I be fortunate enough to continue this art/sport as I continue to age long enough to be black belt level, I'm not gonna expect to be infallible. sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, we always have something to learn from one another 🙏

[@bane3991]

Danaher wouldn't beat most of his students. Does that mean you learn from someone else?

[@kalikombatives3608]

I’ve got a similar issue with my coach. There are two guys at my gym who are being given instructor roles at my gym that I have some serious bad blood. I mean serious bad blood. I want to leave my gym that I’ve been part of for 6 years, teaching kids, teaching adults, coaching literally everyone including the guys I want nothing to do with. I would rather leave my gym than be part of something where I can’t work with half of the instructors. It’s a tough spot to be in for sure. The one part I always circle around is, I’ve helped to build this gym. Is it worth abandoning if it is becoming something I do not want to be involved with due to the other people involved?

[@manuelpuga2097]

always giving great advice bro. this spoke to me because i was just having an arguemnt with the wife at home. makes so much sence. thanks

[@jon0830]

great advice for life in general, thanks for sharing your experience Chewy

[@djhern139]

Well put chewy humble yourself I say Honor loyalty respect

[@shootits48]

You're the Jiu-Jitsu Yoda. I love the video, great advice.

[@thammons80]

your training partners help to improve you and you help to improve them.. even if you win a match that means nothing, " its a grain of sand in a desert " i remember when one of the senior students at my dojo who was an adult , when i was growing up and becoming a adult sized teen and really able to challenge the black belts in the dojo told me that after i got excited cuz i was able to really start landing shots, you have to remember in sparring its not 110% trying to hurt your partners, and i'm sure the coach also isn't trying to truly hurt the guy whos getting a big head and thinking he's great. my advice is he checks his ego..

[@SparkyTakedown]

More reason for him to stay. Student surpasses teacher rin one instance But they can continue growing and learning together. And now the master knows he has a reliable heir. I mean isn't that positive peer pressure? Push each other to get better.

[@Zucchini-official]

Imagine if Mike believed Cus Damato had nothing to teach him and just beat him instead

[@Chewjitsu]

Did you watch the video before commenting?

[@Zucchini-official]

@@Chewjitsu I make it a point to NEVER investigate before commenting. That said, I'm in the beginning where you describe the seeming resentment on behalf of the coach for getting beat by his student.

[@danielblanco7241]

Thx u good advice for all relationships

[@patrickrichard5948]

Teaching and fighting are two different skill sets. I’m pretty sure Gordon Ryan could submit John Danaher any way he wants to, but Ryan is not on the same level in terms of teaching. Being a good fighter doesn’t make you a good coach

[@graciescottsdale]

Perfect.

[@christophertaylor3150]

Most times this is the right way to handle things. Other times the person is so toxic you need to get far away as quietly possible.

[@soccer24six]

looks like u have a "chalazion" on ur right upper eyelid - its just inflammation, no infection. The treatment is time, it will likely resolve spontaneously. You can do warm compresses and lid scrubs if u want, but its mostly time that do the trick.

[@Chewjitsu]

Yep. Doc has me on them already. Appreciate the input though.

[@JamesWilliams-tv9xl]

Well Said!

[@grumpydaddy4209]

jiu jitsu people need to chill the fuck out. We're just putting on weird pajamas or spandex and wrestling with people for fun.

[@gallowitz100]

So most black belts know far less than coral belts, yet are likely able to beat them because of age. The goal of a teacher is for the student to surpass them in skill/abilities, but to surpass in knowledge is a different thing. Little respect here. Ronin

[@ZWhiskey]

Don’t forget what got you to the dance. Stick with your coach.

[@VictorHugoVideos]

I would try and test objectively if your feelings are right. If they were, I would just leave. I just don't see how there's any argument that would justify a coach being mad that his student surpassed him.

[@nayl3476]

The best coach are not automatically the best fighter…. See john danaher….

[@SkurgeBeatz]

my jiu jitsu dads are splitting up but i hope it all works out for the best.

[@slick222]

good advice

[@ColinMcRaeVIT]

It makes absolutely no difference how right or wrong you are, when you say things that put up the persons defensive mechanisms, you just are not going to get through and communicate. and if you can’t communicate, you will not achieve your goals, so it’s very simple: stop trying to be right. make it clear you’re trying to connect and don’t say things that cause a person to raise their defenses. How to do this? Talk about how things make you feel. Not in a way that “you did this to me“. more like “this is how I feel because we haven’t been able to synchronize our perspectives“ or whatever. just avoid any form of finger-pointing and that will be a great start.

[@rovertdean7640]

What are your thoughts on the BJJ belt system? Do you think there is enough depth to it, or could it benefit from additional ranks? The association I train with has an extra belt in between white and blue.

[@ch0wned]

The more belts a style has the more meaningless the ranking system.

[@rovertdean7640]

@@ch0wned I don't know that I agree with that. Because of the extra belt in my association I feel like I often see blue belts in the association in a different light than other blue belts. Like I would expect them to be at completely different stage of their jiu jitsu journey if that makes sense.

[@tjl4688]

The idea of putting a belt between white and blue is just for your school's reference; usually to signify people who have finished a beginner's program. You cannot take that rank anywhere, and in comps you are considered a white belt. Don't worry too much about those proprietary ranks.

[@darthwolfX2]

I've actually seen this happen in kungfu man it's a tough one.

[@Waluwussy]

Random, but I just got my blue belt this week. Coach surprised me during a roll by really putting it on me and smashing me but only trying to get to my back to do the thing. I put up a good fight bc I didn’t know what was happening and made him work for it, or at least I thought I did. He posted the video on the gym’s social medias and a lot of people are saying I shouldn’t have it if I can be controlled enough to not notice anything. I know people on the internet are gonna rip into anyone they can but it made me wonder. Shouldn’t my black belt coach be able to demolish me with his magic black belt powers?

[@graciescottsdale]

It's not what he can do TO YOU; It's what he can do FOR YOU.

[@samartypants1330]

Hey chewy as a white belt how do I know when to focus on holding my grip versus letting it go?

[@sclay757]

As a blue belt I would tell you that comes with time and learning when you're fighting a losing battle, position wise. So if a guy has you in bottom side control with a mean cross face you know you can't beat, instead holding the grip or fighting it hip escape and get your grips and positioning ready for the next mini battle. I approach bjj like life in that I break things down piece by piece. It took me a minute to realize just because you lose a battle in a roll don't mean you've lost the war or round. Now what I'll often do is use that second I know I'm losing to be first in the next position. Because when you chase grips and positions you often stay 1 step behind everytime. Like life you gotta know when to let go and move on. Hope that helps!

[@EpherosAldor]

If you feel like you have the superior position (such as securing in an arm lock) and there is resistance by your opponent, work on reinforcing it. If you feel like your opponent's resistance is manipulating the dynamic of your position (taking you out of a superior position, like breaking that arm lock), then you let go and move on to the next place you can gain superior position. This sensitivity will take a lot of practice to be aware of and react to naturally.

[@Chewjitsu]

Saving for a video.

[@joebeast15]

Never let go. Always hold on to the bitter end.

[@graciescottsdale]

@@joebeast15 🤣🤣

[@moustachio334]

BJJ is so fixated on BELTS BELTS BELTS. It’s becoming the new karate.

[@ZakH644]

I’m sure Manny Pacquio could have beat Freddy roach in a prime vs prime fight. Just because somebody isn’t as good as an athlete as you are doesn’t mean they don’t have a great understanding and strategic mind for the sport.

[@brophymusprime593]

Why can't he bring these new techniques to his "instructor" and add them to the curriculum?

[@bullydungeon9631]

Communication communication communication

[@ColinMcRaeVIT]

Jocko. 🤝

[@Lpass2020]

Good advice Chewy. Have to make sure you keep your ego in check.

[@bobbobert9473]

Im a wrestler who has about 3 hours of bjj training, and ive beaten 3 blackbelts. I outweighed them by 30 lbs mind you, but they can still teach me a lot. Our culture is so focused on black and white competition and ego its disgusting. Too many simps listening to Jordan Peterson.

[@curraja14]

but I am always right! right?

[@flahgdoe4558]

If your friend watches chew he’s definitely gonna know it’s you lol

[@gradybaka4946]

Wrestling your relationships into submission, the chewguru way.

[@nicholaskelly2007]

I feel like with how specific the context is, there is no need to use a pseudonym haha

[@iancampbell5493]

Posted 1 min ago? Leave a comment? Don’t mind if I do

[@elperronimo]

Why is this guy so wise? He's only like 30 wtf

[@Chewjitsu]

Bruh, I'm 37. I'm almost 40!

[@robcubed9557]

@@Chewjitsu You've aged well. I wish my hair was as thick as yours when I was 35 (pushing 40 now).

[@joseichoshow9846]

Jiujitsu gives you a lot of wisdom

[@daltonwalker3584]

❤❤❤

[@balooojeffersong4234]

We got 2 ears so we can use the distance between this ears to be able to judge where a sound is coming from and we got 1 mouth because it wouldn’t make sense to be able to make 2 sounds at once

[@goodfortune5480]

F***! Click bait title, it worked. If you tap your coach the gym now belongs to you and you are responsible for the rent/light bills.

[@sdot18]

Necromancer rules, you keep what you "kill"

[@davidrtrains]

I would like to know what's the highest bodyfat percentage you can be that will not hinder your ability to fight. Anybody have an answer for me?

[@tazito1972]

that sounds like some cry baby Gracie Barra drama

[@dotschkeen755]

god, GOD?! JK, lol

[@ronaldinhogaucho5460]

What I really want to know is wtf happened to your damn eyebrow?

[@johnvanschultz2297]

First

[@wearblackclothes]

Don't assign intent to what other people do. Unless it's jujitsu. Assume that everyone whp tries to submit you is trying to deliberately hurt you and make sure you take it personally 😉