BloodRayne - Phelous

[@davidspring4003]

you know what they say, "a Meat Loaf Aday keeps the Uwe Bowl away."

[@robjackson4050]

I See What You Did There

[@whatiftherewasanun]

But Uwe Boll was in this

[@davidspring4003]

Benjamin Johnson I guess I'm all wet. That means...I WAS EXPECTED! Bet you weren't expecting that! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

[@jayryman5310]

Not for this film, it didn't!

[@RichardWatt]

But that means you're completely useless now.

[@demitriuscovington370]

I feel like these movies are the reason Bloodrayne never got anymore true video game sequels

[@daniboy4153]

Or why the games don't get any recognition anymore

[@1Hol1Tiger]

Pretty much, the franchise was a big sleeper hit and it seemed it was destined for bigger and better things... until Uwe Boll made it a joke

[@dereknight861]

SHES BACK! a new entry and both games getting re-released.

[@greek1237]

@@dereknight861 On the Switch lol.

[@MaggieOffutt]

Lets take a moment of silence for the actors who fell in the evil Uwe Bowl clutches. Thanks and now back to your lives

[@jameswormsley460]

+Maggie Offutt indeed.

[@lizzychrome7630]

That "Twilight" slap is one of the greatest moments in Phelous history. Holy god.

[@Fubukio]

No matter how much more effort (or less effort) Phelous puts into trying, he absolutely can't even get close to being as disinterested as Michael Madsen while being stabbed.

[@jonathanwarrdddedcxddeecec4787]

Honestly, it’s kinda impressive

[@JohnSmith-cl7gi]

Phelan deserves a lot more credit than he gets

[@Nestalgba92023]

John Smith And subscribers.

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

THEY MADE THREE OF THESE?!

[@jameswormsley460]

lol yea!!

[@jeroenvanwees3250]

Four, if you count Bluberella! Ughh...

[@jameswormsley460]

Jeroen van Wees oh-nooo!!! yikes!!!

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

The third one was okay though, cause of that one lesbian sex scene. LOL That was hot.

[@jakublulek3261]

Third one have Clint Howard as Nazi doctor in it.

[@smalltiny]

her voice is so raspy that when she tried to yell that made my eyes water

[@ken131]

Horse saddles are expensive as hell, so if Phelous has one, that means he knows a real horse! Probably. Or likes horseplay.

[@BlueRoseFaery]

Exactly what I was thinking. Or borrowed one from a friend who does.

[@LadyCoyKoi]

More like foreplay, kinky Phelous.

[@mitchfletcher2386]

ken131 Or HORSING AROUND!

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

Quit horsing around!

[@Veritech2011]

According to Guinevere Turner the screenwriter of the BloodRayne movie this was only the first draft of the screenplay. Soon after Boll began production Turner received a call from the producer telling her that there was some changes made by Boll and some of the actors take a crack at the screenplay only 20% of what Turner wrote made it into the film.

[@Account_Not_Applicable]

Hey, the animated Castlevania series on Netflix had a happy union between a vampire and a human. They even spawned a kid together. Hell, the vampire damned mankind as revenge for his wife being burned alive. Now THAT'S true love.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

That's not exactly a happy union if your wife is murdered...

[@chiarabutteri4293]

@@URFTBOUND4LIFE it is happy cause at least they really loved each other.

[@JessOkami]

@@URFTBOUND4LIFE Too be fair, Dracula wasn't the one who killed her. The Eviiiiiiiil Church did it instead

[@DrRockso79]

Ahh, Uwe Boll: The Jaws 4 of directors.

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

We do not speak of that! D:

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Roaring shark intensifies.

[@sdm47]

That’s not being fair to Jaws 4

[@policesquad]

RIP Meat Loaf Aday. They say he passed away wearing his bestest Madsen Face.

[@candiddirt]

Madsen getting stabbed has the same energy I had when the Diablo developers announced a mobile title.

[@umeducated]

This sounds like an out of season April Fools joke.

[@davidspring4003]

...do you not have a phone? (sarcasm)

[@RadNat]

Why does the water burn her boots as well? Does she have to buy special vampire clothes that have all the same weaknesses as her?

[@LannaDru]

TurboRadDude Technically, that happened in the game, as well (bad collision detection), so it must be another detail Boll meticulously copied into the film.

[@RadNat]

LannaDru Oh yea, I get it. Water killing you in video games is just an easy way to set limitations. I'm willing to accept that water hurts vampires in this universe, because vampires aren't real and you can make up whatever lore you want. Where my problem lies, is the fact that it appears to burn her boots as well, as if her clothes are also hurt by water

[@LannaDru]

TurboRadDude One of the few things the movie and the games share, and it had to be one of the dumbest.

[@AmaryInkawult]

It would have made sense if the burning only burned vampire flesh that continue to burn due to the clothes and boots holding in excess water while remaining simply wet like normal clothes. But clearly this logic flew over the director's head.

[@indy6s]

Maybe she made her shoes out of a vampire she killed?

[@konstance13]

Every single man's hair in this movie looks insanely bad.

[@anikmonette2140]

Konstance Miles Everything looks cheap to me, including the film they shot this movie on... 😚

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Kingsley's henchman has the worst haircut.

[@talynhastime9343]

I love that little grumpy Dracula Phelous in the corner.

[@jsb8261]

Video Game adaptations shouldn't be hard to do. Why do we keep getting stuff like this?

[@AmaryInkawult]

JSB because the people that make these movies either A) Never played the game and only had the box art to get an idea of how it is. B) they only played an hour's worth of the game and believed it was enough for a whole movie. C) played the game but felt they could stroke their own ego by being "original" while borrowing a few elements from the game.

[@daniboy4153]

Uwe Boll just doesn't do movies right. He doesn't accept it's his fault his movies suck, he just blames others.

[@BlackBeWhite2k7]

I just feel embarrassed for every actor in this

[@SpeedyEric1]

BlackBeWhite2k7 I actually liked Kristanna Loken as the T-X in Terminator 3.

[@BlackBeWhite2k7]

SpeedyEric1 I meant I feel embarrassed for them because they were dragged into THIS movie...everyone who was cast into this POS can do better, even Meat Loaf

[@SpeedyEric1]

BlackBeWhite2k7 That's true.

[@SpeedyEric1]

***** It's okay to like something that other people don't.

[@jasonbourne2084]

OMG!!! It is her!

[@yuriismywaifu203]

A vampire got wet, it's completely useless now. HEEEEEEEE!

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Cute profile. But i think Natsuki is the best waifu.

[@woagnya]

Unfortunately, I must inform you that Sayori is best girl.

[@spideyfan1990]

Thank you Phelan. I have wanted to watch this video for over a year, but the blip version wouldn't work.

[@realitysfrank1695]

now be fair, Phelous, if Christana Lokken could deliver an emotional performance she wouldn't have been cast as the 3rd Terminator

[@Crazy56U]

+Frank Rivet You _do_ realize that isn't a good defense, right?

[@realitysfrank1695]

+Crazy56U yeah, you're right. and at least she's better than Kirsten Stewart, although that's a pretty low bar to reach

[@LannaDru]

If anything, she emoted too much in T3. Remember the scene of TX moaning after licking John's bloody bandage?

[@purplbug]

I thought that Uwe Boll getup at the end was Doug Walker for a second there.

[@ripleyjlawman.3162]

I’d ask for the difference, but we both know that’s not possible.

[@Mr4thDoctor]

You know, I actually prefer this review over the Nostalgia Critic's review. This one is more funny.

[@daydreambeliever3127]

I dunno...there's just something about Linkara playing Michael Madsen that gets me laughing every single time.

[@onyxxdrako4648]

I think Phelan is better generally

[@ArbiterofTruth]

I liked that version.

[@gracekim1998]

@@onyxxdrako4648 well of course 😜😎

[@masterimaginariumdooblepop7592]

A Meatloaf Aday keeps the doctor away! Sorry...

[@98953812]

Master Imaginariumdooblepopper I would do anything for Boll, but I will not act!

[@RaphBlade7]

Well there is Dracula & Alucard's mom from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, as Dracula loved her so much that he developed a strong hatred for humanity after she was burned at the stake by humans after being mistaken for a witch! Mind you Alucard fights against his father in accordance to his mother's dying wish that he not hate the humans for killing her!

[@sharonpereira4501]

A apple away keeps the doctors away.

[@DoReMi123acb]

Those horses were the most expensive and best actors in this movie. Also, when I saw this movie on dvd as a kid, the sex scene was soooooo upsetting to me.

[@Ashethetics]

The hoof noises just sound like two coconuts being banged together hahaha

[@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376]

And unless its Monty python and the holy grail that is cheap and stupid af

[@gracekim1998]

@@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376 but that is an ACTUAL comedy

[@lynngreen7978]

Can she go back to Conquest-land? Can we go there instead of watching Uwe Boll?

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

I buy Neil Breen couldn't believe his friend committed suicide more than I believe Michael Madsen was being stabbed there.

[@johnnyzero8853]

I miss the Bloodrayne games

[@MrXemrox]

Me before watching: A movie review. Me during the starting: Oh, cool a game review. Me when the movie is brought up: Oh, a movie review, I was right the first time. Still cool.

[@bloodrunsclear]

RIP Meat Loaf You were the best in practically every movie you were in

[@k.artware]

19:58 The Madsen Face clearly says "Okay, I did my scenes. Can I get my paycheck now?"

[@angeles10014]

There was a happy vampire human couple in Castlevania

[@openpelican]

Hey I found the wig they dyed and used for the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic 4 reboot. I guess Phelous had it first and used it on his other character for this episode. Oh Hollywood...

[@leon30517]

Chris topher Earthbound duck?

[@JW666]

18:38 Wow, Ben Kingsley really didn't want to be there that day the way he speaks his lines very fast and did not even bother acting or having any emotion while doing it, lol! =P

[@ssjup81]

As far as I know he did all his scenes in one day because they could only afford him for one day. That's probably why he seems like he doesn't want to be there.

[@yukiskyzero1313]

I have watched this once. xD But now I just recently watched your reviews for Mortal Kombat: Conquest, now realizing that Rayne is Taja, I had to rewatched it again haha. xD

[@WinterSteele]

The wigs in this movie are some of the shittiest I've seen in a long time. Did the costume department raid a Walmart Halloween display or something?

[@jameswormsley460]

+Winter Steele They might have done that,who knows.

[@ZION73082]

That would give Walmart too much credit this was a 98 cent store in Romania at best

[@nikkijenkins3415]

Blizzard refuse to let Uwe Boll to film the live action World of Warcraft

[@mariancovei5435]

And Blizzard did a smart thing

[@nikkijenkins3415]

+Marian Covei World of Warcraft is way too awesome to be film by this lazy ass director.

[@Bartoc1988]

Looking back at the movie it could have been a Uwe Boll flick

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

Heard mixed things about the Warcraft movies, but no matter what Blizzard funding it themselves at least kept it average at best, instead of Boll turning it into shit.

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

Yeah, Blizzard made a good decision, not letting that idiot direct their film.

[@sabreena5611]

The one in Hotel Transylvania.

[@averagegamecritic]

Phelous, he might think she hid the heart, not absorbed it, but probably not.

[@jsb8261]

Wait... wouldn't the character called Rayne be the main character of Bloodrayne?

[@eareimaj]

I saw this movie in theatres. I need to watch it with Uwe Boll's audio commentary.

[@Troglodyte98]

Joseph Hall it most likely consists of Boll laughing at and insulting the audience for being dumb enough to watch this movie.

[@Neb30925]

Great video! So funny.

[@mechaman7818]

Why do Vampires always bite people in super obvious places? If you wanted to create an army and hide the marks, bite them on the inside of their ass cheeks or something. Even if they get naked, unless they're being cavity searched nobody would see it. Plus you could make a really hilarious ritual about it. Even get a silly name, like the Butt Biters. Imagine the Order of the Pug, but Vampires who bite people on the ass.

[@marcherwitch9811]

years later and i still hate that "i would sooner rot inyour dungeon than sit at your table" is such a good line in such a bad movie...

[@MrDman21]

Neil Breen, James Nguyen, and Uwe Boll in a deathmatch, who wins?

[@8Dataman8]

Tommy Wiseau.

[@goufr3540]

50's McCheerios.

[@segwayman196]

Probably Boll cause he actually knows boxing.

[@TheKML777]

Whoever wins, we freakin' lose.

[@Undamagedaddyk]

That's an unfair comparison. Breen and Nguyen at least give a shit about their movies.

[@goufr3540]

It really is sad when a SyFy movie or MK Konquest have more effort put in by the cast than anything I have seen by Uwe Boll. Come to think about it, SIRO THE GREATEST MORTAL KOMBAT KHARACTER EVER could have greatly improved any Uwe Boll movie, as long as he isnt as drunk as the rest of the cast.

[@averagegamecritic]

I think she's bad capture luck. She probably hangs around Peach too

[@grog1073]

It just occured to me that a goddamn puddle might have been a better protection for the eye than those blades...

[@aii5748]

Madsen face 😆 At least the movie gave us that. LOL

[@Parasiteve]

i still remember a cheat from bloodrayne 2: wantthisdarkrealitytaintqueef. yeah i love the games a lot lol. when i first saw the movies i was sooo pissed they were garbage. if i remember right bloodrayne was based on a character in another game, the main character was the stranger and you were in specre or some shit, im mad i forgot the name of that game but rayne was in it, sadly the game series didn't continue even though we got a cliffhanger for a sequel. one of the characters from the game was in a blair witch game or two as well, i really liked the graphics they used too.

[@icewar7310]

The game you are talking about is Nocturne and Rayne was based on Svetlana Popescu from the same series.

[@1sttobylopez]

Ben kingsley's roll was shot all in one day. he's in the movie so little because they couldn't afford to pay him for more than that. it's a complete wreck cuz they try to make the rest of the movie around that and if there was any changes they can't call him back for a retake. prove me wrong

[@gRinchY-op5vr]

He was in that much of a rush to get out of there and recieve his measly cheque he practically speed reads his lines in this film

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Raziel became immune to water after absorbing Rahab's soul. That's less stupid than the eye in this flick.

[@Ravenite456]

I have to know, what deal with the devil has Uwe Boll made to keep getting actual actors to work for him?

[@DarkseidJoshua]

RIP Meatloaf

[@mr.gunzaku437]

Uwe Boll's movies are always a chore to watch. They aren't even fun to watch ironically.

[@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376]

Running water is actually a weakness of vampires

[@hanster8610]

I live for the outro song

[@jostockton.]

Cartoon Vampire Phelous is so cute.

[@Sonichero151]

I thinkk the monks were banking on any vampire getting the eye to be too stupid to understand what it does and just dying.

[@kingofthegundam7974]

Why is Rayne such a wimp in these movies?

[@Yukinoomoni]

Truly, Billy Zane is the best of this movie.

[@RichardWatt]

Ultimate Vampire Power: it turns you into Theresa May.

[@Gorvar100]

Happy vampire-human couples....didnt Alucard have a human girlfriend?

[@Gorvar100]

***** I think he did, was in one of the later Castlevania's.

[@Gat720Dua]

Gorvar the Dinoman Castlevania Alucard or Hellsing Alucard?

[@Gorvar100]

Gat720Dua I never saw Hellsing sadly, I meant Castlevania one. Might not have been canon tho..

[@Gat720Dua]

Gorvar the Dinoman I was just curious which one you were talking about, cause Alucard is a pretty common name. As for Castlevania Alucard it's open for interpretation, he could have a girlfriend or maybe he didn't.

[@Gorvar100]

I kinda forgot bout hellsing's Alucard, my bad :)

[@giuseppeianniello1998]

Oscar winner Ben Kingsley in an Uwe Boll movie?!?!? And to think he followed that up with The Love Guru and Razzie nominations

[@EasyGrilling101]

How did vampire's who's weakness is water stay alive on rainy days in medieval times...? It's not like they had excellent leak protection during those days, let alone never touch a damp wall or floor in a castle. I'm curious if the group of hunters could have just been soaked everywhere they went as a defense.....? What degree of vulnerability did they have in this movie and/or game....? Anyone know....?

[@MiXVoy]

12:18-12:24, "Gore, Gore, GOOOOOOORE! Gore. Good Movie, right?"

[@SpeedyEric1]

Michael Bolisay Hahaha, BRILLIANT.

[@tumulovermelho93]

BloodRayne 2 is an underrated action game. It deserved better than this. :/

[@rogerskitt1542]

meat load over Ben Kingsley? ! no one else is blown away lol. this was way before his iron man 3 days hahaha

[@christinawilkephillips7684]

uva's big scene,.....somebody get that guy an Oscar!.... and a history book, theirs no wrist watches!

[@alleclypseuprising87]

I Freaking ❤️ Phelous!!!! I Cannot Stop Laughing

[@Dim4323]

Their need to be a bloodrayne reboot, or animated series

[@andreasnickmann370]

A wet vampire is completely useless now.

[@MrZerothejedi]

Oh come on which of us WOULDNT use the Day Heart to meet our Vampire father? Granted... most of us would probably do it in the DAY after USING the heart.

[@JJewlz420]

I'm 8 years late to the party but i always thought lara corft was the first video game female in playboy... lmfao good to know, i got my facts str8 now

[@GabyGeorge1996]

What's the "Toasty" sound bite at 0:52 from? I keep hearing it in other vids

[@clark9158]

mortal kombat

[@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376]

The eye of Baliar was a pain in the ass to get to and it's even more of a pain in the ass to watch that scene with a stupid water trap

[@sheogorathpatronofcheese4376]

Missed opportunity to not use "what a twist" m night shyamalan thing from robot chicken

[@omnimonramone8459]

My mom likes this movie. I guess it's not the worst movie to choose from.

[@jenselinsky6734]

"His name is Robert Paulsen!" LOL

[@undercooked_spaghettios]

I just now noticed that you purposely wore a watch during this review, nice

[@jiggerman2289]

Kanye West And Kim Kardashian. Oh, wait they're both vampires

[@ZION73082]

The closest thing to a complement I can give this dumpster fire is bloodrayne and Dungeon Seige are the closest to the source material of all his game adaptations but that's saying so little it barely matters

[@Dim4323]

Also linkara did made a error, Show that vampire can really get hurt by water. Yeah Water is like Acid to vampires one drop can kill them

[@alleclypseuprising87]

20:56 why did this seem like a mortal kombat annihlation moment when liu kang and shao khan were about to fight after the elder gods said something pointless lol

[@emperortrevornorton3119]

You know why I enjoy this movie is drunk drunk performance from Michael Madsen

[@Namorat]

Are you sure he doesnt say 'give me the heart and I will let you live'?

[@Ziggun]

Wow. Uwe Boll created two accounts just to downvote this video.

[@yosoyringodesanantonio8405]

REST IN PEACE Meat Loaf

[@OldSchoolCurt]

Those script cheat codes are just not fair!

[@calliecorn]

8:53 *"HOTEL TRANSYLVANI-"* * Slapped *

[@regiman222]

8:49 You mention Twilight I break every bone in your body

[@regiman222]

+Lonly Wanderer 8:54 Damn it Phelous

[@kingti85]

Wow!! You typed out that timestamp and message and sent it off within 5 seconds? Before he ever said Twilight? DAS AMAZEYING!!1!11 Stupid.

[@Hauptseite]

Alternative theory: He paused the video................... MAH GAWD!!!

[@ReptilianTeaDrinker]

LightlySaltedNuts He paused the video, you fucking idiot.

[@Chris-ci8vs]

How the fuck did Sir Ben get roped into this?

[@MsGhoulz]

Madsen face lmao

[@averagegamecritic]

I like how others reviewed this and it is so bad there is ton of shit and no two reviews are alike.

[@JuicyfruitJessieB]

You know what isn't cool in vampire movies? Boring old men talking politics. Youd think filmmakers would have learned that from the star wars prequels

[@torquetheprisoner]

postal,rampage and seed are good uwe bowl "movies"