Border Officer

  Рет қаралды 5,377,699

Markiplier

Markiplier

3 жыл бұрын

Border Officer is NOT a rip-off of Paper's Please. It is SO MUCH MORE. And coincidentally so much less...
Edited By ► / rad_r
And ► / lixiantv
Play Border Officer ► store.steampowered.com/app/10...
Awesome Games Playlist ► • Awesome Games!

Пікірлер: 7 800
@cryptid4351
@cryptid4351 3 жыл бұрын
“We’re too poor to have a clock” Me: Don't do it don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it “Just like my childhood all over again”
@Mentis_Mori
@Mentis_Mori 3 жыл бұрын
When I was a child, we couldn't afford eggs, we had a chicken but we had to kill it for our own entertainment, also nice pfp, memento mori
@gabrielpineirogarcia2078
@gabrielpineirogarcia2078 3 жыл бұрын
*Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac.*
@Mentis_Mori
@Mentis_Mori 3 жыл бұрын
@@gabrielpineirogarcia2078 unus annus unus annus.... Words that will forever be immortalized in our memories Memories are forever after all
@spartanonionproductions1137
@spartanonionproductions1137 3 жыл бұрын
@Cryptid What cryptid are you? Hee Hoo or The Gongoozler
@cryptid4351
@cryptid4351 3 жыл бұрын
@@spartanonionproductions1137 I am SCP-11325
@quantum174
@quantum174 3 жыл бұрын
THE WAY THE GUARD SLOWLY WALKED IN, AND WALKED AWAY AND THEN JUST THE GUNSHOT MADE ME CRY LAUGHING OH MY GOD.
@KiwiBubbles
@KiwiBubbles Жыл бұрын
IT SHOULDN'T BE FUNNY BUT IT WAS REALLY REALLY FUNNY!!!
@NukaChloe76
@NukaChloe76 5 ай бұрын
Time stamp please. Also your papers…
@voodood
@voodood 5 ай бұрын
@@NukaChloe769:20 13:10 20:10
@-WMD-Edutainment
@-WMD-Edutainment Ай бұрын
'Tis how my great-grandfather dealt with rubbish criminals when he was a border-patrol soldier in WW2. And he was Hungarian btw, so the uniform was also kinda accurate.
@justheredontaskwhy9578
@justheredontaskwhy9578 3 жыл бұрын
Mark faced everything in this game. But the thing that broke him?: "'I needed to be more energetic in the bed' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@SftHrtBrsKnckls
@SftHrtBrsKnckls 3 жыл бұрын
“ITS TOO CLOSE TO HOME”😂🤣😂🤣
@justheredontaskwhy9578
@justheredontaskwhy9578 3 жыл бұрын
@@SftHrtBrsKnckls XDDDDDDDDD
@Sega428
@Sega428 3 жыл бұрын
Theres no place like home!
@wjzav1971
@wjzav1971 3 жыл бұрын
Priorities man
@lilliangarza4954
@lilliangarza4954 3 жыл бұрын
Lol Mark: This hits too close to home. Me: Is everything alright with you and Amy, dude?
@emmitcannady1730
@emmitcannady1730 3 жыл бұрын
I love how it’s “the thief stole your uncles bed” as though there is just one in the town and this just happens to people.
@wumbosaurus9121
@wumbosaurus9121 3 жыл бұрын
Ah shet, the local thief stole my toilet again. Perhaps I should move
@mooviies
@mooviies 3 жыл бұрын
and his family didn't move from the house. The thieft litterally took the bed from under the uncle!
@nicoleangelcourt2862
@nicoleangelcourt2862 3 жыл бұрын
i would like this comment but its on 420 so I'll respect you.
@wumbosaurus9121
@wumbosaurus9121 3 жыл бұрын
@@nicoleangelcourt2862 Dank
@wumbosaurus9121
@wumbosaurus9121 3 жыл бұрын
@@nicoleangelcourt2862 in that 40 minutes it's gone up to 447 though
@user-zm3bc8ng6m
@user-zm3bc8ng6m 3 жыл бұрын
Fork: •exists• Mark: *now this is an avengers level threat*
@user-zm3bc8ng6m
@user-zm3bc8ng6m 3 жыл бұрын
.
@danie9507
@danie9507 3 жыл бұрын
@@user-zm3bc8ng6m I don’t know you...but I like you.
@crazykids2004
@crazykids2004 2 жыл бұрын
That's good old Mark
@krieger8825
@krieger8825 2 жыл бұрын
Man pulls out box of soap US Airport Security: A terrorist, empty on him
@user-zm3bc8ng6m
@user-zm3bc8ng6m 2 жыл бұрын
@@danie9507 hm well thank you, I like you too :)
@Rainworld475
@Rainworld475 3 жыл бұрын
I cant help but laugh at the fact that Mark was giggling over the woman in the club who was all gumby like- but proceeded to not notice the woman with a popcorn bag on her head-
@13DarknessGirl666
@13DarknessGirl666 3 жыл бұрын
Priorities
@Meh-nv6id
@Meh-nv6id 3 жыл бұрын
@@13DarknessGirl666 *Professionals have standards*
@mikeyaftony2464
@mikeyaftony2464 6 ай бұрын
Well it's like the stereotypical lamp shade on the head at a party Don't know why that's just like A Thing but it is
@w0jak373
@w0jak373 3 жыл бұрын
After that jumpscare, i think id rather stay as a virgin.
@CallMeAsty
@CallMeAsty 3 жыл бұрын
Same. Saaaaame.
@Sega428
@Sega428 3 жыл бұрын
Oh man
@Bumbleorc
@Bumbleorc 3 жыл бұрын
Same
@bruh-fb7vr
@bruh-fb7vr 3 жыл бұрын
I just started the video and I'm looking through the comments and now I'm scared cause you said there's a jumpscare... Fuck
@maxlondon7723
@maxlondon7723 3 жыл бұрын
@@bruh-fb7vr the timestamp is 17:23 if you want to skip it
@hosseinsoltani1117
@hosseinsoltani1117 3 жыл бұрын
Today's lesson: don't get close to markiplier with a fork
@macklinillustration
@macklinillustration 3 жыл бұрын
Or even worse......a spork.
@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit
@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit 3 жыл бұрын
Spoons are okay though, even though we all know spoons are the most dangerous weapon of all and are ready to ensue the inevitable mass destruction of humanity as we know it :)
@walkerwilliams-rigsofrodst3316
@walkerwilliams-rigsofrodst3316 3 жыл бұрын
@@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit I am scared of you😶
@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit
@RiskItForAChoccyBiscuit 3 жыл бұрын
@@walkerwilliams-rigsofrodst3316 You should be scared of the spoons 🥄
@LadyTenjoin
@LadyTenjoin 3 жыл бұрын
what about a spoon. A spoon is harmless
@wizardshark2928
@wizardshark2928 3 жыл бұрын
Boss: “You killed him for a fork?” Mark: “Yeah.....that was my bad.”
@averagecalisthenicsguy1504
@averagecalisthenicsguy1504 3 жыл бұрын
@manuamanya6667
@manuamanya6667 3 жыл бұрын
Way bee
@captainkirk4637
@captainkirk4637 3 жыл бұрын
Nice profile pic
@isaacbuiltdifferentRL
@isaacbuiltdifferentRL 3 жыл бұрын
When
@joshualee1685
@joshualee1685 3 жыл бұрын
Tbh you would probably get arrested for having a fork on you (and not in your luggage) at most security checks
@Nya0213
@Nya0213 3 жыл бұрын
I'm 5 minutes in and he's going everywhere but the border.
@urdadlol6213
@urdadlol6213 3 жыл бұрын
Lol fr
@DukeofRizz
@DukeofRizz 3 жыл бұрын
"You're depressed and you're dead" Bruh. One at a time game.
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
You are the rude one here on this comment about Markiplier and just say nice thing to Markiplier, ok, even though Markiplier is real
@Wan-vo4cr
@Wan-vo4cr 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 Ok
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@@Wan-vo4cr ok of what
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@Nugget no I am not high
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@Nugget I am not using drugs
@benavery58
@benavery58 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: Lets a person with a c4 go but kills someone for having a fork
@bleakautomaton4808
@bleakautomaton4808 3 жыл бұрын
"Uncle's bed is stolen?!" Doesn't realize he left the front door open, lol
@CybernerdShua
@CybernerdShua 3 жыл бұрын
Wait, is that actually why it happened?
@monikloon69
@monikloon69 3 жыл бұрын
I sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag . Who needs a bed ? That guy is a coward !
@CatsMeow_
@CatsMeow_ 3 жыл бұрын
Uncle Ben is stolen... poor Ben.
@kcalb4569
@kcalb4569 3 жыл бұрын
Who steals a bed?
@CatsMeow_
@CatsMeow_ 3 жыл бұрын
@@kcalb4569 poor people
@frecklesandfries9209
@frecklesandfries9209 3 жыл бұрын
“Save your money” Mark: *almost immediately wastes money on a shit stripclub*
@mwebb8434
@mwebb8434 3 жыл бұрын
That weird ass face was worth every dime
@narnonarno5529
@narnonarno5529 3 жыл бұрын
@@mwebb8434 i t s w o r t h e v e r y p e n n y
@mwebb8434
@mwebb8434 3 жыл бұрын
@@narnonarno5529 I t s w o r t h e v e r y f i n g e r
@frecklesandfries9209
@frecklesandfries9209 3 жыл бұрын
@@mwebb8434 you right, you right, I apologize and retract my previous statement.
@crystaltimola9227
@crystaltimola9227 3 жыл бұрын
It's all fun and games when so ending until you check your bank account and you have $24 to last you a week
@AESVIII
@AESVIII 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: *goes to store* Mark: “do you have any bombs?”
@wjzav1971
@wjzav1971 3 жыл бұрын
while he is holding an ax
@x-ray_channel2226
@x-ray_channel2226 3 жыл бұрын
Bombs? You want it? It's yours my friend, as long as you have enough rubles
@shadow_leaf7965
@shadow_leaf7965 2 жыл бұрын
"A little beer never hurt anyone" Says the man who could die if he drinks alchohol
@JeweledLove
@JeweledLove 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: "Border Officer" Also Mark: *goes to the Strip Club*
@LadyTenjoin
@LadyTenjoin 3 жыл бұрын
I'll bring the dollar bills
@chatch621
@chatch621 3 жыл бұрын
That dude Obama, prepaid Caribbean girls
@ritawant2878
@ritawant2878 3 жыл бұрын
გიორგი ფ
@dainswedd9900
@dainswedd9900 3 жыл бұрын
with an ax *
@EightySix86.
@EightySix86. 2 жыл бұрын
@Rita , WANT ВОУ !!! ☹
@carlyramos7514
@carlyramos7514 3 жыл бұрын
"We were too poor to have a clock" Mark: *Childhood Intensifies*
@stefanandrejevic2570
@stefanandrejevic2570 3 жыл бұрын
Ok
@UtopssAKAPJ
@UtopssAKAPJ 3 жыл бұрын
oh this game is like a blast from the past for Mark 😮
@OhSoTiredMan
@OhSoTiredMan 3 жыл бұрын
Another one added to Marks poor joke compilation
@richardashendale922
@richardashendale922 3 жыл бұрын
Well... He did say it's too real.
@roxaszy984
@roxaszy984 3 жыл бұрын
"i guess she had boobs too so that's nice" nice to hear Mark has his priorities in place
@RJ-rp8yd
@RJ-rp8yd 2 жыл бұрын
Mark: [Rejects paperwork] Citizen: [Right before he gets shot] "Wish I had rejected your mom. You would've never been born." At least he went out a savage.
@sherwinashford
@sherwinashford Жыл бұрын
"You will never had born"
@herbthymeyt
@herbthymeyt Жыл бұрын
​@@sherwinashford "You will had never born"
@user-rw3dq9ww3h
@user-rw3dq9ww3h 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: “papers please.” Me: hesitates for only a moment. Mark: “d e a t h.”
@PresidentNathan
@PresidentNathan 3 жыл бұрын
you can just press enter instead of putting a million spaces in your comment
@user-rw3dq9ww3h
@user-rw3dq9ww3h 3 жыл бұрын
@@PresidentNathan ah well I’m not very smart then am I. Thank you for the advice
@kjartanm.1660
@kjartanm.1660 3 жыл бұрын
“The thief stole your uncle’s bed” So that’s why duolingo taught me how to say “this child stole my table” in Russian!
@TashJansson
@TashJansson 3 жыл бұрын
and here I thought I would never need to use "the watch fell into the wine". Thanks, Duo!
@Roperfield
@Roperfield 3 жыл бұрын
Fuckers took my table Can't have shit in Russia
@Stereo6400
@Stereo6400 2 жыл бұрын
Markiplier: “this is NOT a ripoff of papers please…” Also markiplier: “yeah I played that ripoff earlier this year”
@mesasimonson6612
@mesasimonson6612 Жыл бұрын
21:05 Man: Someone who finally does their job properly! 21:06 Mark: *struggles intensely to pick up entry permit and hand it to said man*
@VioletDeathRei
@VioletDeathRei 3 жыл бұрын
"Border officer" 5 minutes later Strip club with women wearing popcorn buckets.
@quin.tessential
@quin.tessential 3 жыл бұрын
l
@NAXTY
@NAXTY 3 жыл бұрын
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,’
@zefzec4462
@zefzec4462 3 жыл бұрын
@@NAXTY once again yes I have
@Kai-iy3kk
@Kai-iy3kk 3 жыл бұрын
@@zefzec4462 it's a bot
@Eis7
@Eis7 3 жыл бұрын
@Ì Ám ĶèvìñBB1 no thanks
@kittenwispy
@kittenwispy 3 жыл бұрын
_"sound the alarm! HE'S GOT A FORK!!"_
@theinstitute1324
@theinstitute1324 3 жыл бұрын
*man with Mosin runs out of the shadows and drags the screaming person to their resting place*
@coolperson9791
@coolperson9791 3 жыл бұрын
it's still _slightly_ more dangerous than a spoon
@goblinthetargetpractice6049
@goblinthetargetpractice6049 3 жыл бұрын
CALL THE MILITARY, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@goblinthetargetpractice6049
@goblinthetargetpractice6049 3 жыл бұрын
@@coolperson9791 Wait, a SPOON? OH MY GOD, AHHHHHH
@Darksilver740
@Darksilver740 3 жыл бұрын
If you walked into the airport with a fork I think you'd actually get pulled aside and possibly denied access
@TheWikkdOne
@TheWikkdOne 2 жыл бұрын
Mark's puzzled face as that officer slowly walks over to arrest the guy made me lose it
@sukunaego9714
@sukunaego9714 3 жыл бұрын
Random person: *Gets shot* Mark:"Holy sh-" *Queue in Reese's commercial*
@dedshade
@dedshade 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: "I didn't scan you!" Mark: "It's probably fine." *Woman has a bomb*
@sovietmusiclover857
@sovietmusiclover857 3 жыл бұрын
*o h .*
@emerald1272
@emerald1272 3 жыл бұрын
@@sovietmusiclover857 *n o . . .* I countinued ur scentence.
@thetinypotatobun
@thetinypotatobun 3 жыл бұрын
21:16
@suvadeeproy6605
@suvadeeproy6605 3 жыл бұрын
Also, the woman WAS a bomb
@JonahMcD
@JonahMcD 3 жыл бұрын
Markiplier: the savage who killed a man because he had a fork.
@OnlyiMe645
@OnlyiMe645 3 жыл бұрын
I’m the 666th like 🙃
@zacharygodwin6328
@zacharygodwin6328 3 жыл бұрын
no markimoo was threatened
@dogedog8686
@dogedog8686 3 жыл бұрын
What time?
@zacharygodwin6328
@zacharygodwin6328 3 жыл бұрын
@@dogedog8686 they were looking at him funny. They had it coming
@dinowattz
@dinowattz 3 жыл бұрын
@@zacharygodwin6328 Yes, Markimoo is the correct name.
@Ugh718
@Ugh718 2 жыл бұрын
Nobody: Everybody in 2019:"God I wish this year would end already I hate this year." Everybody in 2020: 25:51
@bowenlavalley3297
@bowenlavalley3297 3 жыл бұрын
Therapist: Soviet markiplier can’t hurt you he is only in one video Soviet markiplier: hello comrade
@merelymikki
@merelymikki 3 жыл бұрын
Doesn’t realize how to give papers back and just kills him for having not the right paperwork my god. 😂😂
@ethanvanderjagt5892
@ethanvanderjagt5892 3 жыл бұрын
Markiplier doesn't know how to do something also Markiplier:SHOOT HIM edit: thanks for the likes
@axethannanth
@axethannanth 3 жыл бұрын
e
@toshibee1543
@toshibee1543 3 жыл бұрын
e
@elix7963
@elix7963 3 жыл бұрын
666 likes 😳
@AshlynOne
@AshlynOne 3 жыл бұрын
A fairly accurate representation of the american legal system.
@sox9647
@sox9647 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: “This is too close to home” Game: denying people entry to the country and bringing chocolate and cigarettes home to your wife who ignores you 😂
@sorrybrunoigotpurplehazed2232
@sorrybrunoigotpurplehazed2232 3 жыл бұрын
@ Pog Pog Pog
@thepoet6888
@thepoet6888 3 жыл бұрын
@ Pog
@janekennedy9985
@janekennedy9985 3 жыл бұрын
@ POG
@funtimeLJ6789
@funtimeLJ6789 3 жыл бұрын
@ You have started something you won't be able to stop.
@jazzyethecrimefighter
@jazzyethecrimefighter 3 жыл бұрын
POG
@alyssa2304
@alyssa2304 3 жыл бұрын
17:26 I actually got jump scared 🤣
@arthurjones1991
@arthurjones1991 3 жыл бұрын
"you're depressed and you're dead" is gonna be the name of my autobiography
@galleo9462
@galleo9462 3 жыл бұрын
Jesus christ the wife in bed gonna give me a heart attack wtf
@stratecal796
@stratecal796 3 жыл бұрын
doing the deed can lead to heart attack, the difference is if you get a jumpscare, pleasure, or AIDs
@lowheadvarney158
@lowheadvarney158 3 жыл бұрын
I thought that was Lixian's doing
@_.Dylan._
@_.Dylan._ 3 жыл бұрын
That jumpscare made me depressed and dead
@fizzimakes1050
@fizzimakes1050 3 жыл бұрын
Time stamp?
@RJ-lr8ir
@RJ-lr8ir 3 жыл бұрын
@@fizzimakes1050 17:24
@kateadams2709
@kateadams2709 3 жыл бұрын
Man: Has fork Mark: And I took that personally
@GawrGurasBathTubPizza
@GawrGurasBathTubPizza 3 жыл бұрын
fork you
@meloehaze
@meloehaze 3 жыл бұрын
they should have went with the spoon is mark a forkist?!?!$?!?
@bray_1617
@bray_1617 3 жыл бұрын
i hate that i read this in a german accent for no reason
@deqenerate2700
@deqenerate2700 3 жыл бұрын
26:00 it's too real Also this game: "You're uncles bed has been stolen by a thief
@w_h_y1112
@w_h_y1112 3 жыл бұрын
Mark- singing cheerfully **gunshot in background** Mark- continues to cheerfully sing and go home Idk why but it was so funny to just hear that in the distance and him just be like "yeah"
@nicademousthemage
@nicademousthemage 2 жыл бұрын
Thought the same thing
@SebastianHuxley1776
@SebastianHuxley1776 3 жыл бұрын
Just imagine the people's faces when they see a car out in the field and hearing "OH MY GOD!!!!!" lol
@aaronramshaw7600
@aaronramshaw7600 3 жыл бұрын
Joseph Joestar?
@EmperorNacht
@EmperorNacht 3 жыл бұрын
Love to all
@pixeldoll.
@pixeldoll. 3 жыл бұрын
@@aaronramshaw7600 i cant unhear him
@SebastianHuxley1776
@SebastianHuxley1776 3 жыл бұрын
1.3k likes was unexpected lol thank you kindly
@happiestbread1600
@happiestbread1600 3 жыл бұрын
Game grump reference
@TheSunShineMann
@TheSunShineMann 3 жыл бұрын
I feel like mark is the only person who would execute someone for owning a fork
@crisgriffin3042
@crisgriffin3042 3 жыл бұрын
Welcome to mother Russia then.
@CallMeJameskii
@CallMeJameskii 3 жыл бұрын
No i defo would
@judestarbabypup
@judestarbabypup 3 жыл бұрын
I got the impression he thought getting anything on the metal detector was bad, and then he realised when it was too late 😅
@daffa5130
@daffa5130 3 жыл бұрын
Markiplier isn't real, it can't hurt you Markiplier:
@TheSunShineMann
@TheSunShineMann 3 жыл бұрын
@@daffa5130 lol yes
@rumplstiltztinkerstein
@rumplstiltztinkerstein 3 жыл бұрын
19:10 better cars physics than cyberpunk 2076
@neogaming285
@neogaming285 Жыл бұрын
Fr lol
@MyName-mz2fu
@MyName-mz2fu 3 жыл бұрын
"I have happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down." Ironic
@sipmcihm8107
@sipmcihm8107 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: this game hits too close to home Also Mark: shoots and kills 4 people
@Kaunoe
@Kaunoe 3 жыл бұрын
He said what he said and meant what he meant
@thegongoozler5920
@thegongoozler5920 3 жыл бұрын
He didn’t stutter
@lawrenceludwigiv7788
@lawrenceludwigiv7788 3 жыл бұрын
He said it right after he needed more energy in sex so...
@parkerglidewell7886
@parkerglidewell7886 3 жыл бұрын
“Just like my childhood all over again” -Markiplier, who’s apparently Russian
@williammartin9612
@williammartin9612 3 жыл бұрын
Fr what a liar, there wasn't even a butt stone.
@mirnafairy
@mirnafairy 3 жыл бұрын
No... They couldn't afford to be Russian.
@yozzzeh
@yozzzeh 3 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure he was too poor to even afford citizenship anywhere
@darayoo5677
@darayoo5677 3 жыл бұрын
@oʇoɥd ǝlıɟoɹd ʎɯ ʞɔılɔ ʇ,uop dude just how-
@illuminati1866
@illuminati1866 3 жыл бұрын
Да это так
@uncommon_name1959
@uncommon_name1959 3 жыл бұрын
"im not going to be good on my first try but- wha- A THIEF STOLE MY UNCLES BED???"
@magfeed
@magfeed 3 жыл бұрын
17:20 YO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL GREASY DEV SHIT IS THAT??? 🤣🤣🤣
@jonrinehart6411
@jonrinehart6411 3 жыл бұрын
Woman: *has C4* Mark: ... Man: *has fork* Mark: and I took that personally
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your support and that is Markiplier’s fan for the last and final hours of Markiplier channel
@watchdog2065
@watchdog2065 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 what
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@@watchdog2065 Amberator and that is my KZbin channel name
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@@watchdog2065 Watchdog
@watchdog2065
@watchdog2065 3 жыл бұрын
I mean what do you mean about the final hours of his channel
@Gabbie.xoxoxo
@Gabbie.xoxoxo 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: “Just like my childhood all over again” Me: When you were so poor you couldn’t even afford 5 ovens
@tessa2555
@tessa2555 3 жыл бұрын
lmaooo
@catsquad1784
@catsquad1784 3 жыл бұрын
bruh I read this right when he said that
@aedonbokkes8146
@aedonbokkes8146 3 жыл бұрын
oh hey it's you
@scarcat2469
@scarcat2469 3 жыл бұрын
I AM A MAN, WHO
@williamlux
@williamlux 3 жыл бұрын
@@scarcat2469 OWNS 5 OVENS.
@heartis
@heartis 2 жыл бұрын
Something surreal watching Mark end his shift so casually while someone is being executed.
@celestialk7148
@celestialk7148 3 жыл бұрын
8:13 my mom heard this and she almost choked on her spaghetti while laughing lol 😂
@coins_png
@coins_png 3 жыл бұрын
"this is a fork" "dear god..." "...there's more" "NO !"
@StrangerE0ns
@StrangerE0ns 3 жыл бұрын
“It holds the soul of every one in this room”
@redacted8577
@redacted8577 3 жыл бұрын
it contains a spoon
@realCaveJohnson
@realCaveJohnson 3 жыл бұрын
"Does it say you want the bucket?" "Yes."
@Sega428
@Sega428 3 жыл бұрын
But wait theres more! -Billy Mays
@gavingamer1490
@gavingamer1490 3 жыл бұрын
lololololololololololololololololololol
@mrfranks512
@mrfranks512 3 жыл бұрын
“Markiplier isn’t real” simulation games almost every day since he came back.
@philipbearman6431
@philipbearman6431 3 жыл бұрын
Ikr it’s freaking me out
@sk3tch_art1st35
@sk3tch_art1st35 3 жыл бұрын
I just noticed that!! Also dark is the only real one the only good guy mark is evil hehe
@thekingofswing6393
@thekingofswing6393 3 жыл бұрын
I was just about to say this thanks!
@boxoftruffles6217
@boxoftruffles6217 3 жыл бұрын
That's what I said in the Streamer Life Simulator episode! Good to know I'm not the only one.
@haxxruz6284
@haxxruz6284 3 жыл бұрын
Let him play
@starmakarma
@starmakarma 2 жыл бұрын
Guy: "Money means everything. You will *have* to learn to save money" Mark: "okay" *10 seconds later* Mark: Strip club! Alright I'll pay the fee! Oo I'll have a beer! Fiine I'll have a second!
@LaughinLaz
@LaughinLaz 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: I’m not going to shoot as many people. Also mark with bomb lady: nicely done
@DracoHandsome
@DracoHandsome 3 жыл бұрын
Not only did Mark not satisfy his wife, he never realized he has to physically put food in the fridge and fuel in the stove so his family doesn't starve / freeze to death.
@wibleston
@wibleston 3 жыл бұрын
Hm, what conundrum he was in, was he not?
@gabrielpineirogarcia2078
@gabrielpineirogarcia2078 3 жыл бұрын
Tfw you have to sustain a family of literal furniture. No food on fridge? Well star e to death
@silvertipstudio9622
@silvertipstudio9622 3 жыл бұрын
“It’s too real” Two seconds before: *not energetic enough*
@joshua210808
@joshua210808 3 жыл бұрын
666 Likes But I am the only one here
@jasperbruh3954
@jasperbruh3954 2 жыл бұрын
13:13 lol 😂 Mark freaking out over a fork.
@annualleopard3063
@annualleopard3063 3 жыл бұрын
"I have a happiness bar, which is depressing because that means it can go down" I'm 14 and this is deep
@JonahMcD
@JonahMcD 3 жыл бұрын
I love how since Mark didn’t know how to hand things to the first person, his solution was to kill them.
@xmizutsune
@xmizutsune Жыл бұрын
I know this is a year old comment but to be fair... Mark did tell him to leave him alone lol
@nosleep9816
@nosleep9816 3 жыл бұрын
Hero name: Son, His quirk: *Likes chocolate*
@ash4268
@ash4268 3 жыл бұрын
Mha fan??
@kzunarii
@kzunarii 3 жыл бұрын
Weeb
@liamyates5716
@liamyates5716 3 жыл бұрын
Nice
@Ghost-jw5cz
@Ghost-jw5cz 3 жыл бұрын
Someone likes mha........ Same here bro
@kenzie7356
@kenzie7356 3 жыл бұрын
Um, mha?
@Sketcho20
@Sketcho20 3 жыл бұрын
3:00 the idea that Mark says "Not enough thuses" makes me think that he once looked at a contract and amusingly pointed out that there were a large amount of thuses within it.
@EnderalRocks
@EnderalRocks 2 жыл бұрын
17:00 is horrifying
@818pineapple
@818pineapple 3 жыл бұрын
Who ever this game designer is, we need more of their games.
@ee3171
@ee3171 3 жыл бұрын
Is a a shame that this is a rip off, this could be better.
@818pineapple
@818pineapple 3 жыл бұрын
@@ee3171 true, true
@joydelphin4898
@joydelphin4898 3 жыл бұрын
@@ee3171 rip off of wat game
@SanDiego619RS
@SanDiego619RS 3 жыл бұрын
At least better quality like gta v
@ee3171
@ee3171 3 жыл бұрын
@@joydelphin4898 Its core gameplay is basically a complete rip off of paper please but worse.
@spoopyspore173
@spoopyspore173 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: "Im dumb, im dumb" He says that after the fact when he does a double back flip with his car.
@CybernerdShua
@CybernerdShua 3 жыл бұрын
I know a guy who could that, haven't seen him in a while.
@videohound2005
@videohound2005 3 жыл бұрын
You could use your internal clock Markie. Totally free.
@bitfrost3610
@bitfrost3610 3 жыл бұрын
That means he's a genius ?
@lvrkins
@lvrkins 3 жыл бұрын
Ethan taught him well
@mr.beefyboidoody3539
@mr.beefyboidoody3539 3 жыл бұрын
Guy: *has different person on his passport* Mark:"so you have chosen... death."
@Kahunak22
@Kahunak22 2 жыл бұрын
I don't think I've ever cried so much laughing. Finding out she had a bomb and then "it only costs me 5 bucks and I just got 5 bucks" 😂😂
@caucaznazn22
@caucaznazn22 3 жыл бұрын
Starts game. First words: "I have a happiness bar. That's depressing." Same, Mark.
@Stubentiger1993
@Stubentiger1993 3 жыл бұрын
I bet if once we have a realtime healthcheck interface build into us we would care more about ourselfs
@suffy101
@suffy101 3 жыл бұрын
@@Stubentiger1993 my bars would be all full
@nathankoh7247
@nathankoh7247 3 жыл бұрын
@@suffy101 mine would be almost empty
@toyamwarr
@toyamwarr 3 жыл бұрын
@@Stubentiger1993 my social bar would be low all the time and I would happy about it.
@kristian4532
@kristian4532 3 жыл бұрын
I died after the wife jump scare. She's coming for that snu-snu, and doesn't care if her mother watches apparently.
@DoodlesFool
@DoodlesFool Жыл бұрын
Mark being utterly heartbroken over the fact that he didn't get laid by his wife will never not be funny
@piperlawson56
@piperlawson56 3 жыл бұрын
Mark is equivalent to a 8 year old child, examples are him saying "SKOOSH" or "OOOOOOOOOO" "Can I detect you? WEOWEOWEOWEOWEO"
@PrinceGemJ
@PrinceGemJ 3 жыл бұрын
This is a horrible idea, Mark would just deny everyone entry.
@drantigon
@drantigon 3 жыл бұрын
@HATE Comments GUY I'm not deaf
@nolram
@nolram 3 жыл бұрын
What a true american !
@lazer2414
@lazer2414 3 жыл бұрын
@oʇoɥd ǝlıɟoɹd ʎɯ ʞɔılɔ ʇ,uop how did you turn your comment upise down
@MrRaven420
@MrRaven420 3 жыл бұрын
@@UltimateGrabber should lose subs for this
@Aloyus_Knight
@Aloyus_Knight 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, you'd be better off hiring someone more competent like Wade.
@breadmannington
@breadmannington 3 жыл бұрын
“I have a happiness bar. That’s depressing because that means it can go down.”
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
@mansurislamov9595
@mansurislamov9595 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 Why do you keep writing that under every single comment here?
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
@@mansurislamov9595 because I wanted to
@mansurislamov9595
@mansurislamov9595 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 an unreasonable answer
@yazurai4667
@yazurai4667 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 you're so annoying smh
@bradenduvall6630
@bradenduvall6630 3 жыл бұрын
0:43 Mark: I have legs. Me who has legs: am I special?
@TheNipSnipper
@TheNipSnipper 3 жыл бұрын
Few things are more terrifying than Markiplier saying to your face "I could shoot you and it'd only cost me five bucks. And I just got 5 bucks."
@bigdum7274
@bigdum7274 3 жыл бұрын
"Did I get money, why didn't I get money" Casually has 2 men shot and has a person go through border control with a bomb
@blumpet6250
@blumpet6250 3 жыл бұрын
"Get ready to get sqooshed!" Deer: *honey, you've got a big storm comin*
@ashishsabat9178
@ashishsabat9178 3 жыл бұрын
*finger guns*
@theinstitute1324
@theinstitute1324 3 жыл бұрын
Can I ask you kind of a weird question?
@blumpet6250
@blumpet6250 Жыл бұрын
​@@theinstitute1324GOD DAMMIT I WISH I SAW THIS COMMENTS EARLIER. BUT YES U CAN
@fightscrimewhilesleeping4024
@fightscrimewhilesleeping4024 2 жыл бұрын
"How was your first day, honey?" "Well, I had two people wrongfully executed, so...okay I guess?"
@dacarvoid45
@dacarvoid45 3 жыл бұрын
No Minding Me. Is Just My paarty Axe. 5:34
@Ryutz0
@Ryutz0 3 жыл бұрын
Markiplier: I have a wife, thank you very much Also Mark 5 minutes ago: Hanging out at a strip club
@Rev_Nemesis
@Rev_Nemesis 3 жыл бұрын
Loyalty to the fullest
@erichvonmanstein7084
@erichvonmanstein7084 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: YOU GOT A WEAPON! Russian man: ITS JUST A FORK MAN I NEED TO EAT!!!
@CarniFlex1
@CarniFlex1 3 жыл бұрын
Marki : I'm wasting all my Energy that I'm going to give to my WIFE. Me: It's touch to my inner part. 6:49 ⭐Anyone can feel that way?
@MemeCake
@MemeCake 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: Arrest this man. Guard: *takes him outside and shoots him* Mark: Oh shi-*AD*
@kameronsabourin9899
@kameronsabourin9899 3 жыл бұрын
Same thing happened to me I laughed so hard
@guy2026
@guy2026 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@thatonenon-uniqueindividual
@thatonenon-uniqueindividual 3 жыл бұрын
Not same I have KZbin premium I shall never any time soon feel how other people feel about those Types of things to happen probably would’ve laughed though
@allinory
@allinory 3 жыл бұрын
SAME IT WAS HILARIOUS
@guy2026
@guy2026 3 жыл бұрын
@@thatonenon-uniqueindividual stop flexing to us peasants
@bigbadwolf4190
@bigbadwolf4190 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: "I don't need the tutorial" Also Mark: "How do I play this game?"
@amberator3456
@amberator3456 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your support and that you trust in Markiplier
@kiradagenhearth3056
@kiradagenhearth3056 3 жыл бұрын
@@amberator3456 stop
@giantgoose5429
@giantgoose5429 2 жыл бұрын
9:50 Guy got the old yeller treatment
@mothinasuit3787
@mothinasuit3787 3 жыл бұрын
At 14:06 did no one notice the flipped bus??
@thatdbzguyfr
@thatdbzguyfr 3 жыл бұрын
"I'm wasting all my energy I'm going to give to my whiiiffffeeeee" ~Markiplier, 2021
@averagecalisthenicsguy1504
@averagecalisthenicsguy1504 3 жыл бұрын
@juliannamiller6529
@juliannamiller6529 3 жыл бұрын
mark: doesn't get "sweet tender loving" from wife *literally stands up and screams*
@onebilliontacos3405
@onebilliontacos3405 3 жыл бұрын
7:25 scariest jump scare in gaming history
@RJ-rp8yd
@RJ-rp8yd 2 жыл бұрын
*17:25
@darrianweathington1923
@darrianweathington1923 3 жыл бұрын
cant tell is this a Fake place in Russia, or a real place in Michigan...
@daviboi808
@daviboi808 3 жыл бұрын
“Officer Markipkier” would be a great spin off of “A heist with Markiplier”
@quin.tessential
@quin.tessential 3 жыл бұрын
ok
@cakeleighh2536
@cakeleighh2536 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t encourage him. He’d probably do it 😂 (Ngl that would be really cool tho)
@NAXTY
@NAXTY 3 жыл бұрын
My dad promised me a new pc if i hit 200 comments on my recent video in 2 days time. Help guys i really need it🥺🥺,,o
@dianamaydraw8533
@dianamaydraw8533 3 жыл бұрын
I’d pay to see it
@dianamaydraw8533
@dianamaydraw8533 3 жыл бұрын
Knowing Mark though, I probably won’t have to unless it was for charity
@PrimeHorizon794
@PrimeHorizon794 3 жыл бұрын
Imagine if the guy at the DMV talked to you like this . "It would take me $5 to have you killed and I just got $5"
@alaamhmd1158
@alaamhmd1158 Жыл бұрын
What?
@TheZestyZeek
@TheZestyZeek 3 жыл бұрын
Game: I had to more energetic in bed Mark: this game hits too close to home
@saladtv
@saladtv Күн бұрын
“A little beer never hurt nobody before.” -man who has literally been hurt by beer before
@RD-fv7nn
@RD-fv7nn 3 жыл бұрын
If anything this is like being a security guard still a fun job
@fireyiris9136
@fireyiris9136 3 жыл бұрын
Uncanny Valley was played Jan. 28, 2015.
@StefanST
@StefanST 3 жыл бұрын
We've gathered 5 neighbors to understand what you've wrote
@scptime1188
@scptime1188 3 жыл бұрын
@@StefanST He probably meant "If anything, this is like being a security guard (still a fun job)" or he could mean "If this is anythimg like being a security guard it's still a fun job"
@vinnyosuna7012
@vinnyosuna7012 3 жыл бұрын
It's all fun and games until ur the security guard for a Kid's Pizza Place
@black1bank137
@black1bank137 3 жыл бұрын
@@vinnyosuna7012 FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS YOOOO
@karazsteel
@karazsteel 3 жыл бұрын
"I have a happiness bar which is depressing because that means it can go down." Markiplier 2021
@michaelplantarich3375
@michaelplantarich3375 3 жыл бұрын
One of my favorite parts of any of his videos is watching him rave at the party, straight face, with animated sunglasses 🤣🤣🤣
@darrianweathington1923
@darrianweathington1923 3 жыл бұрын
i want to be that DJ, looks like he had life figured out
@ZeppyGame
@ZeppyGame 3 жыл бұрын
Mark: "This game is too real".... Stops recording, gets in his car, goes to a rave, has someone executed for smuggling a fork..... NEXT!
@wjzav1971
@wjzav1971 3 жыл бұрын
all while holding an axe in his hand
@deafgate7473
@deafgate7473 3 жыл бұрын
Gets home and picks up his clams outside his house that was delivered yesterday
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