brain oh brain

[@sivzaness]

I mean, happy for a dodie voggle, but i'm sorry for it being a hard year. It will all make sense again!

[@Maryagnes96]

A perfect comment 🥲

[@rebeccamari]

+

[@chirayusalgarkar5346]

ngl an offhand comment by Tom Scott where he said something along the lines of “Yes I look older now. It happens. And it’s better than the alternative.” really helped me process going older? Just know that you have a lot of friends who are also getting older, and they can probably give some advice (or at least commiserate in aging)? Anyways love your videos!

[@doddlevloggle]

Oh that’s lovely :”)

[@Madison-xc8qv]

My 100 year old grandad says that phrase all the time!

[@doddleoddle]

I am rly sitting with this haha it’s really helping

[@Skoize]

@@doddleoddle Tom Scott my beloved ❤

[@rebeccamari]

I've struggled with getting older too - I'm a year ish behind you. We got this!!

[@zainasoliman8711]

the beat of hesitation before saying both weed and shroom chocolate haha i promise we won’t tell on you

[@maisiemph]

funnily enough a lot of us will want to take them/already have, why do u think we love the fizz psychedelics, queen shit 🍄🔆

[@mariannecotte6141]

Oh gosh I heard "shrimp chocolate" and was sooooo confused!

[@danieljackson3367]

@@mariannecotte6141 I thought it was "extreme chocolate" and was wondering what that was lol!

[@jasminelynch6570]

I watched Dodie for the first time when I was a depressed 14 year old girl who had no aspirations in life. Now, I'm a ukulele playing roller skating 24 year old man who is getting married next year. I've noticed I cry a lot more because life gets better. Life has gotten better. I'm here. I'm surrounded by love. I'm happy.

[@angelbru]

years ago u made 'pasta is good' right when i needed it and now u made this right when i needed it, thank u dodie

[@jaymeiliff4389]

oh the "pasta is good (life is sad)" days 😭 realest shit ever

[@dancegavdance4769]

same same same same

[@marnenotmarnie259]

ahh thank you for reminding me of pasta is good i need to revisit it

[@piab2774]

Tackling my death anxiety in therapy has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am still not on the other side - especially since I had to face my own mortality thanks to a brain tumor - but you are not alone.

[@doddlevloggle]

brave brave brave brave ♥ sending so much love

[@dustyboialex]

woah!! I'm sorry that's so hard I wish you the best in your journey

[@stargazer209]

lol are you me? Death anxiety all my life and then the worst thing came in the form of a brain tumor at 27.

[@vconfusedboy9087]

i'm so sorry, that must be really tough, i wish the absolute best for you in all you do

[@cara7401]

a phrase that I've heard that helped me reframe thoughts a little is 'don't borrow worry or grief from the future'. Easier said than done but my future self most likely wont think 'oh I'm so glad I made myself experience these emotions early because my emotional load is lighter now'. it was only borrowed so it will all be returned the moment its due anyway.

[@doddleoddle]

So truuue

[@Daft_Ideas]

My neuropsych says my problems are "beach balls in the pool". I prefer to think of them as planets. They have gravity. Or whirlpools that suck me down. Meh. They certainly suck.

[@ubayyd]

thank u.

[@a.graciesmith7766]

honestly i think its super important to show every side of humanity, you will get out of the cycle. you clearly already on your way out! love you and your work, you’ve helped me through my own grief and depression. never feel bad for being as you are currently.

[@panix.x]

ugh as someone who was raised by their grandmother i relate so hard. So much of my late teenage years was eclipsed by the awareness that a thing was going to end and my life would never be the same. So much would be missing. But when you get so locked into it, life can't begin either! My friend always used to say this thing I love repeating "you're afraid because you care, and isn't caring the most beautiful thing a human being can do?" That in the face of scary things you do not turn to nihilism and apathy but instead feel deeply. Its very human. I thought I'd leave it here.

[@loopsies_]

Your friend's words really hit me. Thank you so much for sharing

[@ratboygirl]

ooooh that's got a bit of a kick to it. ouch. thank u

[@lepus9588]

oughhhh i think this healed something

[@lavndermilk]

needed this real bad. feels like classic dodie video, the state i found u in the first place. i feel like im in a similar weird scared of growing and changing depression spiral and it’s always good to hear people go through same thoughts. brain is hard :(

[@lavndermilk]

i’m in my second year of college and nothing i do feels real

[@kappanova1302]

Familiarity feels so much safer than The Great Unknown. Hope the future can be a good place too, there´s so much potential for good changes. Brain is hard indeed

[@caden724]

i’m so happy to find so many comments like these. i’m genuinely crying reading through them - it feels like the same community i was a part of when i was in high school or even younger. about to graduate college and life is kicking me but this has hit such a spot. i was just looking up videos about dissociating bc of my brain.

[@naemiv.8866]

I've just been thinking about you, like an old friend stopped by

[@mamiedubingo]

somehow me too

[@beatrizprata4601]

Weirdly enough me too!! she was in my dream like three days ago and now boom she posts a video after years of being away (and I don’t follow her on any socials so is was really just one big coincidence)

[@dianacao4431]

Idk why but this was very comforting to read

[@HELLOGENTLESOUL]

“life is actually a much better experience when you’re not trapped in hell.”

[@DavidBennettPiano]

I routinely struggle with cycles of negative, existential dread thoughts and simply hearing that other people struggle like that too and that I’m not alone is very helpful! 😊 you don’t need to apologise for making a video about feeling negative. It can really help people and hopefully it helps you too to voice things 🙂

[@Ajfmaizy]

For sure. It's part of the human condition, and when I'm experiencing these things, music about existential dread helps me find some comfort.

[@nikkimccaig5616]

'Disengagement' is genuinely the best tool my therapist taught me which is literally to just give your thought absolutely nothing - just let it in let it out. Don't give it any attention, and the more you do it, the easier it gets. With OCD, the more you give your thoughts, the stronger they get, so the more you argue with them, shout at them, give into them, the more power they have over you. But if you can have a thought and just give it absolutely nothing and keep doing whatever it is you're doing, it gets so much smaller and easier to ignore. Death is a big theme of my OCD but genuinely knowing that thinking about it now won't change the outcome and ignoring those thoughts (even if it feels scary to do so) makes all of it so much less intimidating and overwhelming. It's the kind of thing where you have to ask yourself 'is death the problem here or the reoccurring thoughts themselves?'

[@hannahhampton1075]

dodie, please know that i can't wait for this new album. in 2022, i lost my little brother, and life has been nothing but those little moments of clouds parting. i promise you, there are people out there who will relate to your album, because you're writing about the realest thing everybody must contend with in their lifetime. i've loved your music since i was 15 and you were 19. even if you don't always feel it, you give other people those cloud parting moments with your music x

[@kendall9683]

so sorry for your loss 🥺😔

[@ThePurplenessness]

This may not be useful for everyone but things that have been useful to me: 1. Binging Griefcast (podcast where Cariad Lloyd interviews people who have been bereaved)-It is useful to hear others discuss various aspects of death openly. 2. A bit of art therapy - I bought a grief journal where I can write, draw etc. stuff about how I feel about death and grief. I got "How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed" but whatever works for you. 3. On parents dying - I used to dream about my parents dying. Your brain tries to prepare you for these kind of things and my family members dying was the top worst thing that I sort of never believed would happen. And then last year my Mum died. It was devastating and terrible and I miss her. But I found a weird resilience to just get on with life (eventually). You learn to do all the boring and good bits of life again - putting a washing load on or eating nice food or going to work or learning new things etc. etc. Time physically can't stop so at some stage your brain lets you continue, sometimes being sad they're gone but getting on with it because (not negatively) you kind of have no choice.

[@marginannotates]

Thanks.

[@randomhuman_1999]

been through countless depresso downward spirally cycles during the time i've followed you so honestly this felt like such a real, comforting chat with a friend. recently i've had some really good days where i'm actually seeing autumn brewing in the leaves of trees swaying in the scottish winds, and feeling the comfort of purple-pink sunrises while cycling to work, and appreciating good food and good people, and not breaking down at every spanner thrown in the works of daily life and MAN those days are good. and yeah i constantly keep in mind that there's a whole lot of shit happening around the world and there's a whole lot i'd like to do to change that and i can't do all of what i hope to... yet i'm getting used to reminding myself that being mopey about it really doesn't change much, and i am reminded every time i think that that i'm so much healthier and happier than i have ever been in my life. and i'm so proud. :')

[@witchfrown]

As a person who has been watching you for years and grown up and changed and seen you grow and change you always come back in my life when I need it 💜

[@mize4620]

exactly, just when we need her T T❤

[@faeinacup]

This hits so hard omg- as someone with death ocd, therapy (exposure therapy) and ✨️disractions✨️ helps so much to ground from those bad thoughts. I hope you can catch a brain break soon

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

Yesss girl you are brain retraining without calling it that, but it’s really really helped me with a lot of weird neurological symptoms I developed this year that turns out weren’t just long covid, my body was just in sheer terror mode. ❤️ So happy you’ve found a tool to help. My dad has a terminal illness (pulmonary fibrosis) so I feel this video in my bones…it is something I have to force myself to stop thinking about multiple times a day! He’s been put on some new fancy medication that can apparently increase his life expectancy a bit so I’m hopeful but yeah, just trying really hard to ground myself every time I get lost in thoughts. He’s here now, I don’t want to waste the time I have left with him thinking about something that’s not even happened yet! (Pass the chocolate 😍😂)

[@Grrreeeeeeeeeeeew]

Aren't you Melanie Murphy?

[@doddleoddle]

Oh my sweet girl! Oh it means so much you watched and to know you relate tho god I am so sorry :( 🍄‍🟫 day when you’re next in London? Haha x

[@CraigSimmonds]

4:00 In a selfish way it's kind of comforting to hear another human describing the exact same issue I have with thought cycles (although my issues are around responsibility and feeling like my home is going to be destroyed somehow). I've done lots of therapy work around resisting the initial bad thoughts (it's so hard!) but haven't yet cracked the art of stepping out of a cycle once you're in one - will definitely give your suggestion a go. Fab to hear it's been helpful for you!

[@BethTeb99]

I can't believe just how much what you've been going through has mirrored my own thoughts. I've just had to tell myself constantly that worrying is just suffering twice, worrying will not stop what is causing you anxiety (which is also scary) but has helped me a little. You're not alone Dodie x

[@Emi93y]

this was actually really comforting to watch just because I’ve been in the exact place mentally this last year- constant thoughts about my parents dying and thinking I need to prepare, fearing aging and the gradual decay of everything good…. I’m also the same age. Thanks for sharing x

[@Emi93y]

Think I might try source some of that special chocolate to try…

[@elianna838]

Wildly relatable video. Death OCD is something I struggle with and it's been very hard the last year too since my aunt died and now I'm afraid of everyone else doing the permanent goodbye.

[@mrs_mothra547]

Turned thirty and have been very upset about my parents dying, plus myself dying and leaving my kids behind. It's not weird to be upset about it. It's awful. But life will still be beautiful. Keep putting down roots! Much love to you.

[@Wonderish]

I’m feeling the hope in this video. It’s the techniques we can utilize in the dark brain times to put us in the actual moment we’re in. Sharing those reminds us to use them. Breathe, thought stop, change your environment, think of something to look forward to(new album). Wishing you many moments of presence

[@ashtreely]

You continue to make me feel so comforted throughout the years, even when we're both depressed . I appreciate you being so real and vulnerable. I also can't stop thinking about death so it feels a teeny bit better to know other people obsess over it

[@evan]

late 20’s be wild tho Break your cycle!

[@lucymoon]

Yaaaay breathing and thought cycle breaking! We love to see it. Also sorry for maybe contributing to the existential dread, thanks for being a great friend this year ♥️♥️

[@doddleoddle]

my sweet friend god you have nothing to apologise for hahaha ❤

[@carly102982]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@47151632]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@speedemonxs]

Yes, steve_porassss . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@peishancraken]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@47151632]

Is he on instagram?

[@speedemonxs]

Yes he is steve_porassss.

[@shannonlynch5841]

I really appreciate how genuine of a video this is. As an only child who also has those thoughts about my parents constantly, this video at least makes me feel as though I have a sister to have this conversation with. Thank you for continuously being a comfort, even during your own times of struggles. I wish I could hug you with words just like you have done for me :)

[@calvsco]

doddlevloggle vid just when i needed it ?! dont feel bad or apologize for sharing whats in your brain!! i needed to hear that someone else is facing the horrors(tm)

[@paulinecollet3599]

My grandma says : Fear does not prevent danger. So... Yes there is more to life than worrying about death. Personally I find it quite reassuring to have something as inevitable as death coming our way, in the end. Living your life in the fear of something as inevitable as death prevent you to be happy, to feel at peace with life. After having listened to your songs for the last decade, having found a mirror in you (we're almost the same age, and I have experienced derealization, too), I can say I really hope that you find peace, even if it could mean the end of the Dodie we know. Love, take care of you.

[@macmcmullan3675]

I never normally comment on things, but I feel like I have to say something because my experience has been so similar and it might help. I lost a childhood friend to suicide in 2022, and it felt like my brain broke. After all the grief stuff, it still wouldn't stop thinking about death, mostly my own death. 2 things that I've found that you haven't mentioned: number one is that for me, it was exacerbated by autism. I don't know if you're neurodivergent, but for me it helped to know that this was not a unique experience and is common (ish) in autistic people. Second thing that has helped me has been mindfulness (bleugh I know), and a knowledge that actually, worrying about it doesn't change what will happen. There is no inherent value in worrying about something, it just means you experience it twice. I hope we both get better, death anxiety is so utterly soul-sucking!!! And thanks for talking about it publicly. I haven't seen anyone else do so, and it makes me feel less alone.

[@ElimY]

oh dodie, I’ve been dealing with a similar struggle where I often feel like my current self is my future self’s memory and that my experience right “now” is merely the ability to relive the “past.” I think about the death of my family way more than I’d like.. and I think I dissociate right now because it’s my future self’s inability to face the pain of seeing and remembering them after they’ve passed, which is causing the blockage of genuine connection right now. Thank you for helping me feel less alone, and I do hope better things come for you ❤❤ I can’t wait to hear your new music when you’re ready to release them!

[@Sasha_E_music]

Around 2:30 you mention how these kind of thoughts are not fun to write about, and though I agree at some degree, I feel like writing about the feeling with metaphors instead of the situation is something that could help you find closure and people will find their way to relate with it. As I mentioned in my tweet you liked last week, Lonely Bones is a great example of it, it has a whole meaning for you and I found my own by relating to it through grief, which I expressed on my cover. Of course, not feeling like monetizing your suffering is a very valid standing point, this is just… another point of view. I sure hope you get to feel… I'm not sure if "better" is the way I want to put it… The way you desire to feel.

[@stephaniestorie5825]

Obsessed with the phrase "I have a very sticky brain" because it absolutely encapsulates how I have been feeling about my brain. My brain holds onto traumatic shit and keeps it RIGHT IN FRONT and refuses to drop it and sometimes stuff I see or hear or witness just gets STUCK and its so uncomfy. and oh my GOODNESS the practicing feeling the bad feelings that either have happened or will happen again sometimes so maybe its less bad is SO REAL. I'm sorry our brains are sticky and love practicing dumb stuff

[@jessmarie5973]

i really appreciate videos like this, just blunt honesty and no sugarcoating. as someone who has been diagnosed with MDD (clinical depression) at a very young age it often feels like no one else gets it, but it is refreshing to see someone (especially someone I admire lol) to express how dark depression can get with thoughts and recognize while it is difficult there is still the ability to learn more coping skills to handle it all. thank you for being so transparent dodie, and i hope the year gets easier for you 🥺🫶

[@Alys913]

I relate so much to this. My dad was diagnosed with a terminal condition when i was 14 so i spent most of my teenage years grieving him while he was right there infront of me. Weirdly those times were harder than actually grieving him in my 20s if that’s any comfort to anyone. Grief is so weird and so personal. Its just one of those bittersweet things you have to befriend in life (or don’t i guess. theres no right way to grieve). Sending you and anyone reading this so much love

[@kellykawaguchi4808]

I've missed your videos so much I can't even

[@acotscohotdog]

I'm training to be a midwife and I've delivered babies and it just completely destroys me in the most beautiful way because I'm reminded every day that we're born absolutely desperate to be alive and then spend the rest of our time on earth chasing that same desperation or trying to hold onto it or running from it. It's the greatest joy I've ever experienced but fucking hell it gets you thinking about life and death and THE VOID

[@panix.x]

that's such a beautiful and simultaneously crushing thought damn, thank you

[@acotscohotdog]

@@panix.x ❤️

[@drewlorenzomusic9839]

I recently bought Build A Problem on CD. I buy a lot of albums but that one really stayed on rotation for a long time. It's got such a consistent voice as an album, moving capably from tender to quietly epic and back again. That exquisite agony of feeling that only a 20-something voice can deliver. At times playful, angry, mournful, embarrassed. I think it's a real masterpiece. And when that strings chord change comes in on track 10, it really transcends the whole experience to another level. I first heard of you through Jacob Collier, first loved you through Fizz - High In Brighton, but this album has solidified what I feel about Dodie. A phenomenal record.

[@SophiaWilson]

strangely nice because i’m in my early twenties and finally out of my teenage depression/derealization and i read your book back then and remember being like okay but it gets better like how??? like i don’t believe you. and then it did. so it’s strangely comforting to have someone a step ahead of you and talking you through it. sending love. sorry it’s been a shit hard year. thanks for being vulnerable xoxo

[@catvalentine4317]

It feels so unreal at first, right? :) enjoy it, life is allowed to feel great!

[@quinnbauer3205]

I have been watching you since I was ten years old, I'm twenty now and this video means so much to me. Knowing that one of my favorite artists was feeling similar feelings and going on a similar path as me made me feel very comforted and slightly affirmed that things can get better and I am not alone.

[@jennicacall4937]

Needed this today

[@shannonbullock807]

I will always love these update videos, whatever they may look like. I'm only 22 and I even feel like this all the time. The brain is a mean, cyclical obsessive place sometimes. I think that a lot of people watching relate to this anxiety. I very much do. And yay to new DODIE ALBUM :)

[@kyliesparks1435]

God that first deep breath really /really/ does feel so good (much love Dodie! Sticky brains are difficult - an understatement I know - but I'm going to keep trucking along, and I hope you're able to find some peace too

[@laurababjakova5028]

brain always lets us off the hook when we don’t push against it or feel like it’s doing something wrong. it just works in thought patterns, they often aren’t ours but of those we grew up with or from the society. i agree that most of the people are depressed in this world, it’s just the consequence of our meets not being met and emotional neglect. i’m sending you a hug, what has always worked for me is to put myself out of the cycle by observing my mind from a different angle, or finding new perspective on things… maybe some spiritual meanings of these symptoms, etc. i am not saying it disappeared, it is just an ongoing process, but the resistance thing worked some wonders. i just allowed it to its own thing and i am able to just observe it, instead of “riding the bus” like you said. 💜

[@beeabeille2169]

i've been following you since you were the age i am now (22) and you have no idea how happy it makes me to see you getting older and living your life. it makes me feel like everything is gonna be alright

[@ratboygirl]

i turn 22 next week! we're gonna be alright!!!

[@cathowe2208]

Every time I start to panic about aging, I think back on little me who didn’t think she’d make it past 16 and it makes life feel more like a promise than a threat

[@megcurl]

You said you were wondered if this video would make us feel stressed, it’s quite a relief for me personally. Recently moved to London from the countryside, out of childhood home (we sold it), into uni, everything’s changed and my best friend doesn’t live here so having so much uncertainty defo throws everything out of wack. It’s good to know that in some respects everyone/a lot of people can relate and can understand irrational thought. It makes me feel a bit crazy sometimes but at least we’re all crazy together :))) ❤

[@christag.4099]

THE PART OF THIS VIDEO ABOUT PREPARING FOR THE WORST REMINDED ME OF THE QUOTE FROM YOUR BOOK THAT I LOVE “A lot of my worst fears have come true; fears that felt so big I could barely hold them in my head. I was convinced that when they'd happen, the world would end. But the world didn't end. In fact, it pushed on and demanded to keep spinning through all sorts of mayhem, and I got through it. And because I persisted, I learned lessons about how to be a stronger, kinder, better human--lessons you can only learn by going through these sorts of things.” The world didn’t end!!! ❤

[@McCoyFromSpace]

2:00 this is why I can’t smoke pot. This is immediately where my mind goes and it is NOT relaxing 💀

[@SkyfullofStardust]

Thank you for your honesty

[@pascalrobot]

ive been a fan of yours for over 8 years, but this is the first time that i watch one of your videos about mental health with the awareness that i have ocd. i resonate with a lot of the things you said, and watching this made me feel better and less alone

[@Daft_Ideas]

Wanted to add at least one positive. No matter how down I am, hearing you sing lifts me. Knowing we are sufffering similar worries does too. Don't feel bad.

[@sally-annehunt8820]

The one thing that keeps me from going down the spiral is remembering that nothing I do can change how or when bad things are gonna happen. Which sounds very depressing. But if I can't do anything, I'll just have to deal with it when it happens and until then I should just live life. I trust that there will be good from any bad situation. I've seen how my own struggles have made it easier for me to understand and comfort others going through similar things. And you will find those people when you eventually need comfort too. Wishing u the best on your journey to figuring it all out

[@Terry-yo2gl]

The biggest help for me was reading about the Buddhist teaching of anitya (impermanence) and Buddhism's philosophy in general. No modern therapy had really worked for me.

[@doddleoddle]

Ooo

[@loopsies_]

I am just starting to face these same thoughts, rather than let them consume me. The hardest part for me is the thought of sharing my intrusive thoughts with others. I know my family would want to comfort me, but I don't want to drag them into the spiral with me. Like how you kept starting to apologize for sharing this in a video. But I'm slowly understanding that the human experience is shared. Just reading these comments is bringing a lot of solace. I'm excited for your music Dodie! I've loved growing and living with your art through the years. One of my favorite parts of this living thing :)

[@Curia__]

I've been in a similar hard time before, chocolates helped me too. But, eventually I needed a prescription. I often feel bad about talking about feeling bad, but then I remember videos like these. It's really not so bad to listen. Plus, it's like clearing the air on the subject. Thank you, for everything you do Dodie!

[@emblasdale]

hey, how did you find the chocolate as I've been wanting to try it for a while now. stopped smoking weed a few years ago as it stopped being helpful and fun and became more dread inducing :(

[@evidentlymak]

neeeeeeded this vid. been struggling a lot depression-wise and feeling v stuck. as much as i hate that things have been hard for you, im grateful for your ability to be vulnerable and share the hard times. i feel so seen!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@scoobydooisanobbsesionsave8755]

Sometimes I feel so alone on those thoughts and hearing your experience makes me feel less alone. Thank you, sm Dodie. Also making it sound giggly in bits makes me feel better.

[@EstudioKatastrofico]

30's will be so much better than late 20's i swear 🫂

[@LilacPineapplez]

Oh Dodie, you and your music has been such a light in my life. I've struggled so much since I was a little 13 year old with no clue what was going to come next. I am now 22, life is still hard, but i know I can count on the family of friends I have made. Thank you, from all of us, for being human and sharing the highs and lows. You help more than you could possibly know

[@DarthMaui]

Dodie, you wonderful person, as a person you will die. But the chances of you being you were next to impossible and it happened, right? Too many things could have happened to prevent it, but you are here anyway. This leaves us with a couple likelihoods. 1. You/we are the universe. 2. There enough universes to make this version of you and probably will again. I don't think you have to worry about death. If you can let go of Dodie and just be whomever or whatever after Dodie is gone, you should be fine. I think you are just the universe experiencing what it is like to be a Dodie. A beautiful, talented, slightly mental, thoughtful and fearful amazing person. White knuckle through life if that's what Dodie's do. But letting go will feel better if you can. Also, thank you for Fizz and showing me MLB. Love you!

[@DeweyHulsey]

I just finished 5 weeks of therapy and you've nailed a lot of salient points in this little video. I absolutely loved it, thank you! Here's to getting super swole brain muscles and being able to stop bad thoughts in their weak little tracks!

[@NorangeBunny]

hello dodie? even if this video is a melancholic than expected, I just like that this is like the conversations I have with my flatmates

[@nickjenkins2916]

OMG, I’m on an NHS programme for pre diabetes (can you believe it) & we’ve just had the mental health session, & on it was the 54321 exercise! We’re soul mates Dodie. PS. FIZZ at Shepherds Bush was the best thing I’ve seen this year. 🙂

[@livewithintention1625]

Dodie - I actually loved this. My biggest problems are avoidance and comparisons - I feel so nauseatingly inferior and unimportant to everyone around me that I just don't know what to do with myself sometimes. I took myself solo traveling (actually just hustling working in Australia so I can maybe return home in a couple years and buy myself a little house in Wales or up north somewhere haha) but I am so lonely at times that I worry I'll never be able to return home because everyone will have forgotten about me. It's my 30th birthday in two months and I cannot explain to you how sad and "typical" it feels that I'll be by myself for my 30th birthday. I want it to feel empowering, but right now I just feel like a failure. I'm trying to reframe it, therapy helped me a lot in the past so I have booked a session for Monday. But because I'm alone and lonely I spend a lot of time online and it's sooo hard not to compare myself and feel like everyone else is stable and planning for a future I don't think I'll have. I've been following you since... 2010? The video when you were doing your hair and make up at your grandma's house with your sister. I remember it so clearly because I've always felt "behind" in life (even at 15/16) and I loved watching that video, it felt so relatable and comforting. And this video feels the same way. So thank you so so much. It's such a relief to know that other people in their late 20s/30s are still going through it as well, that not everyone has it all "sorted out" by now and it's not just me fearfully by myself ❤‍🩹

[@sabroonus]

this hits very close to home rn so i want to once again thank you for sharing these terrible emotions because knowing we‘re not all alone with the craziness is so so nice

[@RobisonRacing68]

I'm probably one of your oldest fans at 74. I've been afraid of getting old and of death most of my life but something changed. I'm not afraid any longer. I know its inevitable but I've had a wonderfully life, a very full life. I've held my 3 sons and seen them grow to men. I changed genders successfully and never lost a beat. I've met President's and even John Lennon and Yoko. I've flown planes and raced cars. I coached transwomen through their transition and, so I'm told, changed their lives as well as saved one or two. Don't look at your future with dread. Be greedy and snatch all the life you can get and then at 74 write your favorite young singer and tell her she will be okay. ❤

[@doddleoddle]

That is so so so beautiful 😭 and so comforting to know. Thank you for sharing! ❤

[@ponypeig7]

i hope i can feel the way you do one day. im so happy you’ve lived a good life. 🐾🪷🪩🪩🤍🐜😭🪷🪷🪩🤍🐜

[@emily.oetting]

I seriously feel all of this tremendously. It’s so hard to stay present and ground myself when the fear of the unknown is so loud, especially bc I watched my best friend nearly die last year which absolutely ruined my life for a while and I didn’t think I’d ever get past that or feel better but very grateful and proud to be able to say that I did. Your music truly got me through a lot of it and reminded me that it’ll all make sense again. Thank you for always being vulnerable, you have definitely shaped my view of it (as I’ve been watching you for 10 years now which is WILD) Love you always Dodie 🩷

[@jusong]

Awe dodie i'm really sorry for what you've been going through... :( my grandfather passed away last year, but i felt really weird because i wasn't really close to him (language barrier and proximity) but it did also reminded me of how old everyone is getting... i appreciate that you're still able to share what you feel comfortable despite the dark topic. It was weirdly comforting to see that i wasn't the only one having these thoughts. On a more positive note, i'm very excited for your new music and those your snapping made me smile - sending you a big hug!! 💚💚

[@jusong]

on a more random note, i got tested positive for covid so those breathing exercises were not the easiest lmao (stay healthy everyone!!)

[@kelseyday2884]

I have a very similar ocd / death spiral experience and it makes me feel less alone and scared seeing a kindred spirit talk about it openly like this

[@aaronlovesfrogs]

6:01 accidentally paused on a screenshot where it looks like u are trying to ground me by shaking me back into reality so thank u. also hope u feel better dodie

[@hellosara00]

clouds parting is such a great way to put it all my clouds are gone thank gosh

[@coolkumquats]

I apologize if this sounds trite because I 100% do not mean it that way, but I have struggled with the Depression Demons myself and found this framing useful. Life sucks sometimes, and death is inevitable, and terrible things do happen all the time, but good things happen too. Babies are born and pets are adorable and people help each other in small but meaningful ways and baked goods can make a whole house smell amazing and wildflowers are beautiful even when they're just growing in the ditch on the side of the road. It's true that there will be hard things in the future. The death of one's parents is a huge and incredibly difficult thing to process, and I do dread it, not just because of the emotional loss, but also because I am an only child and will have to deal with all of it alone. But those things will happen whether I ruminate about them now or not. Nothing I do will prevent that inevitability, so I may as well leave that darkness for another day. For today, I can walk in the sunlight and admire those wildflowers growing in the ditch and try to see the joy peeking out through the brambles. I'm not perfect at it. I struggle with anxiety, and I do fall into thought spirals, but this is often how I drag myself back out. There will be good times and bad times, but the bad times don't blot out the good times or make them less important. Don't willingly let your depression demons poison all your good days. Make them fight you for it!

[@christophershank8393]

I've stared death in the face, literally, more times than I care to count or think about. I feel seen, as I do with so many of your videos. Just know that talking about your struggles has helped a man you'll never meet in ways he'll never truly be able to thank you for. Keep being you. Whatever you ends up being that day. Because its making lives better, not just your own.

[@livmageddon]

so glad to see ur face

[@nicolereusch4309]

I relate to this, I had a debilitating fear of death for years and years. I thought about it multiple times a day, it kept me up at night and brought me to tears all the time. I tried to resolve it in therapy and did not find any real success, anything that my therapist presented was really easy to deny and disprove with nihilistic logic. The only thing that worked for me in the end was finding an anti depressant that worked for me. I know that’s not the answer that many people want to hear… and I’m sorry if it’s disheartening to anyone who has had a really bad experience with anti depressants. I just want to share what worked for me. Within a month of starting my anti depressant prescription, the fear subsided and I could FINALLY SLEEP. Then it was like a domino effect in all the other areas in my life. My brain just works differently on medication, I don’t see things in such a dark way, it’s easier to be kind to myself, see the bright side of things, and to see death as simply something I can’t control, rather than something distressing. While this might be frustrating to hear for someone who has resentment towards anti depressants, I feel the need to say that my experience was really empowering. I used to feel like I was at the drivers seat of my own mental health and was just a colossal failure. I thought I was depressed because I was bad at therapy or managing my thought patterns or whatever, but seeing how dramatically the medication effected me made me realize just how much our mental health isn’t in our control, that the brain is a complicated thing. Sometimes CBT isn’t enough, and I wasn’t a failure for not fixing my brain in an all natural way. Anyways, if you’re struggling with this I’m very sorry, it is an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone

[@lott3B]

My dad died when i was 13, i'm now 21, it does become a lesson, it does become something meaningful, but it still hurts, because the grief is never ending, but so is the love.

[@kunaljt]

my god, my health and death anxiety is the reason i’m on antidepressants, after my dad’s death a few years ago, and this really resonated.

[@rileyc1555]

I've been watching you since I was 12...I'm 21 now and I just lost my Mom last week. I can't tell you how many times I've turned to you throughout my life. This video is so weirdly timed and exactly what I needed right now. Thanks for being the big sister I needed Dodie ❤️❤️❤️

[@daniellezuccala6398]

Dodie I want you to know this is more relatable than you can realise. As someone who watched my nonnas dementia get worse and then her death in the home I still live in this speaks so much to me. Thank you for always being so open, I hope your brain starts being nicer to you soon!

[@burnthewitch_]

Existential dread has haunted me for a long time, and it really surprises me when people have the ability to not think about it... I think deciding whether or not an idea or cycle is useful to you is really hard! But you're doing the work in spite of the dread, and that's impressive and inspiring!

[@hillmidget1326]

Everything ages and dies but in turn things burst into life in tandem ❤

[@TheDenia2]

whenever you talk about your mental health, it always resonates deeply. can't stop thinking about death in all it's magnitude, i've been using similar techniques to cope with my depression, anxiety, and dp/dr. haven't tried chocolate yet though lol. thanks for talking about the stuff that not everyone talks about, it helps. wishing the best and looking forward to more art!

[@Monchesque]

It's always interesting seeing people articulate the sort of defense/coping mechanisms I just naturally started doing to get myself through the day/life. Anxiety is a bitch and for what smh. Wishing you well!

[@elijahhh2217]

i've been watching since i was about 10, and i'm 19 now. the fear of growing up and the dissapointing moments where it's not what i dreamed of (getting therapy and finally free from mental illness) has been so difficult to grasp. seeing you share how you're feeling right now reminds me that everyone has bad years and months and hours, and i know i'm not alone. thank you for always being honest, you helped little me immensely.

[@outerspooky]

This reminds me of the psychology of mindfulness class I took in college a couple years ago. IT FREAKED ME OUT. Learning about Buddhism just really had me ruminating for months about how everything ENDS and we all will die. Thinking one day my consciousness will maybe just end messed me up! THANKFULLY I got over it somehow and am trying to be in and enjoy the present. Idk the answer, but not looking too far in the future helps. Positive vibes to you Dodie and everyone in the commments ❤

[@sarahdaestrela6098]

The mourning dove coming in at 2:38 was unintentionally very nice

[@lisam.3916]

i have been thinking about grief lately and this video helped me a little. thanks

[@aveslewis5069]

so glad to know i’m not the only one who gets stuck in this exact cycle, it’s been something i’ve dealt with since childhood and i still deal with today so knowing someone as lovely as dodie also experiences it makes me feel not so alone

[@asfbassist]

It's allways nice to hear from you, regardless the state of brain you're in.

[@melonflowerr5042]

this is a weird abstract perspective but it helps me sometimes: like, the person i was like 3 4 5 10 yearsago is completely different in sm ways it seems like a different consciousness, i dont even really resonate with her anymore,, even though physically we are the same being. i feel like its safe to say in a kind of metaphorical way that when you grow as a person you also die in some ways, and so we've all died many times already, so when it actually happens its just a discontinuing of a newer self. but like, our past selves dont exist and our current selves will die too once we grow out of them. so like, we already kinda know what its like? idk if that makes sense. i love everyone

[@EatTheChildrenFirst]

Death has been an unfortunately everpresent spectre in my life so far. Thinking about it never makes it better, but it also never really gets worse. But being alive is way easier to do. All you gotta do is keep doing it. I'm glad you're still doing it. Keep on keepin' on, my friend.

[@micaela_c]

I think its important to talk about these things even if they aren't happy because the more people feel comfortable to talk about the more people will seek help

[@jtbolscher]

i've watched and listened to your stuff for almost eight years now and i wanted to say that you've always been someone i've looked up to so much - not because you're perfect, but because you always showed how okay it was not to be. it's like, if you can make it through all this, then i can deal with whatever i got going on. much love always

[@avaph0bic]

you’re so real and i’ve always appreciated that you don’t shy away from genuinely discussing your thought processes. i’ve been having issues with anger more than usual when my issues used to be all depression-based, and it’s been weird. sometimes the source of the pain changes and it’s really really difficult, but my pov on death has always been very neutral. to me, the pain is the terrible part. i’m fine with death, i just fear the emotional loss and physical pain.

[@HamSaladtv]

I needed this. Thank you for always being so wonderful and for many years to come.