Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: DEVIL'S EXPRESS

[@TheBrandonTenold]

At last, the kung-fu/blaxsploitation/horror hybrid we've all (apparently) been waiting for!

[@wstine79]

But it needs a giant monster.

[@Dinosaurianationazation]

Do Godzilla 2014!!! PLS????

[@youthfulcurmudgeon3627]

OMIGOD, BRENDON!!! I found the most bonkers kung fu movie for you to review!! You have to do this one!! Shaolin Drunkard 1983 kzbin.info/www/bejne/m3-TfJJrqM2nibc

[@christiankruse4571]

Wow just..... Wow. I can't even.....my brain hurts so much.

[@jim7205]

Warhawk Tanzania's real name is Warren Hawkins and he was an exponent of Nisei Goju-Ryu karate under the art's founder, the late Hanshi Frank Ruiz. As a matter of fact, Ruiz served as the action director for both of Tanzania's films. According to current Nisei Goju-Ryu head and actor Wilfredo Roldan, Warhawk was actually a brown belt when he was making these films. The last he heard was that Warhawk had been living in Brooklyn, but that was many moons ago.

[@CasualNotice]

Brandon: "Did everyone in the 70's dress like they owned their own carpet store?" Yes, yes we did. Except on special occasions like funerals, weddings, and disco night at the Elks club. Then, we dressed like we were auditioning for an Italian porno.

[@edwardburek1717]

I bet the wardrobe considerations were funded by Brentford Nylons.

[@ian_b]

@@edwardburek1717 The world is a poorer place without Brentford Nylons.

[@RightURKen7]

And it was GLORIOUS!!

[@kelpengineer5303]

“Did everyone in the seventies dress like they owned their own carpet stores?”... as a child in the 70s, I can attest that yes, yes they did.

[@enragedkaiser237]

War Hawk Tanzania sounds like a 70s comic book character's name

[@rogermorris9696]

Or a 1980's WWF Wrestler

[@skylx0812]

Not since Paul Lynde's Chief Nerr-er-vous Elk called Kirk Douglas "Prickly Pear John" have I ever heard such a name.

[@jerkfudgewater147]

Did anyone play WARHAWK on tue PS1 that game was freaken great

[@kemmdog4444]

He should have been in a Luke Cage comic.

[@K4rt80y]

You're daaaaaaamn right!

[@jeffreyskoritowski4114]

Warhawk's real name is Warren Hawkins. According to Kung Fu Fandom at the time this film was made he was a brown belt in Nisei Goju Ryu karate. Unfortunately his current whereabouts are unknown.

[@sharkinahat]

[Comment flagged by Toho]

[@wstine79]

Ah damn it!

[@Dinosaurianationazation]

[Reply flagged by Toho cause you suck]

[@easterbunny3850]

Wait... it says War Hawk Tanzania? Cypher Rage is dethronned

[@richmcgee434]

I don't know, it's close. I think we need a death match between the two to settle it.

[@DMAN99]

Rich McGee DENIED

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

Knight Mann let them fight...

[@KarlBunker]

"Stand still while I raise my leg in a gesture that looks a little bit like kicking only much slower! Good, now fall down like I hit you!" I hear War Hawk Tanzania's career tanked after he renamed himself to War Hawk The Republic of the Congo.

[@richardgadberry8398]

Kinshasa or Brazzaville?

[@shainewhite2781]

War Hawk Tanzania sounds like a bad ass name that it belongs to a superhero.

[@troyf.9050]

Hell to the yes!!

[@daocvet]

Big Trouble in Little China, best movie ever!!

[@snarlyshot]

Literally just seen it. Gotta say it's a really good time. I really don't know why they don't make more films like that. They don't cost a ton and will make u back ur money if u get someone who loves good cheese behind the camera.

[@tureytaino2785]

@@snarlyshot That is beacuse of the Chinese influence in Hollywood. They are now bending over backwards to please the CCP.

[@snarlyshot]

@@tureytaino2785 so is the Canadian government. No lube.

[@gregorybarna1026]

Whatever happened to War Hawk Tanzania anyway? There was a time when every kid wanted to be War Hawk Tanzania. We had the Atari game.

[@wugglesx]

okay i'll admit it. i googled it xD.

[@NDTexan]

Funny enough the name warhawk Tanzania appears to be his actual birth name and not just something he made for the screen. This renews my faith in humanity

[@adamguarnella6866]

Woh woh woh War Hawk ?! Baby name of 2019

[@Void_The_Sinner]

nah , Big Dick Kickass has it for me

[@snarlyshot]

That mma dude with war in his name (to lazy to google) stole the thunder I'm afraid. Still the single greatest name in film. Shame he had only 2 movies. Hope he is still kicking so a comeback could happen lol

[@justinpipes85]

YES!! Do Alligator! Please sir.

[@TheBrandonTenold]

I Will!...Eventually...maybe...we'll see...

[@justinpipes85]

@@TheBrandonTenold I appreciate all your videos sir. Most definitely one of the top cult reviewers out there. Your choice in films is next to none.

[@royshaheer]

I watched that recently and Brandon give it your best attention to detail

[@smithwesson1896]

Black Dynamite

[@smithwesson1896]

@Jojoforpres DYNOMITE! DYNOMITE!

[@MHDebidour]

the clothes in this movie are amazing, pity nobody wear those fantastic skirt & suit now.

[@Scudboy17]

70's fashion cemented the idea that dressing looking rediculous as possible was actually kind of cool. That fashion trend faded as the last of the great free roaming couch herds of the great plains were hunted to the verge of extinction tho.

[@Gboy-rr6dm]

The monster that called for help made me thing *wait scp-939, what are you doing here?

[@PapaTaurean]

Brother Theodore was also in Gums... The Jaws spoof... Also in other news... This movie is kickass!!

[@PFiction24]

Bruce Lee vs Bruce Leroy! Please review the Last Dragon!

[@PFiction24]

Troy F. When did he review the Last Dragon?

[@TheBrandonTenold]

I haven't reviewed "The Last Dragon" (yet) so I dunno what he's talking about.

[@MrSiahgold]

@@TheBrandonTenold My family enjoys your videos very much keep up the awesome reviews

[@tsinestexicthdauwraum9082]

Our wait is finally over! Did Brandon review The Last Dragon? SHO'NUFF!

[@wstine79]

If only there was a Kaiju Blacksploitation style movie.

[@skylergulley3949]

Because that would be too awesome for audiences to handle

[@HeilRay]

Think Chappelle did that. Freakin trailblazer

[@jwnj9716]

All Hail War Hawk Tanzania.

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

Jw Nj thundah seagull Tasmania

[@loneronin6813]

Rodan looks like a 1970's Theon Greyjoy in a way :P Update: I just looked up War Hawk Tanzania (birth name: Warren Hawkins) and it also stated that the guy playing Rodan's last name is: Roldan. Got to love B-Movie Kung Fu flicks! lol XD

[@NefariousKoel]

Thunder Bird Nigeria™

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

NefariousKoel Monsoon Seagull Tasmania

[@troodon1096]

@@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888 Hurricane Albatross Zimbabwe

[@edwardburek1717]

Lightning Fighting Falcon Mozambique

[@TupocalypseShakur]

Erupting Volcano Vulture Botswana

[@skylx0812]

@ 3:46 ...but I don't speak Jive! Quick somebody call Barbara Billingsley!!

[@troyf.9050]

I was looking for her on my last plane ride!😉

[@chriscraven9335]

'Jes hang loose, blood...'

[@hiigghhggg9150]

The theme music sounds like a more funky version of the Horror Express theme. Does anybody else think so?

[@TheRealNormanBates]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYe0mYOqftt-nK8

[@pothatuu]

Are we sure Rodan wasn't played by Charles Manson?

[@guineapiglady2841]

XD XD XD

[@JenMistress]

That one kick, I haven't seen someone sell an obvious miss kick that badly since WWE. And I think the sound was recording what they were saying at that point, just the guy was talking in Jive Music. 😉😂 Anyways, all and all, you're right, does look like could fit in so bad it's good territory. Thank you.

[@vhsguru1953]

What a treasure of nonsensical filmmaking.How could overlooked this masterpiese all these years.I have to get my hands on a VHS copy!!!

[@shainewhite2781]

5:38. Oily maniac, and camp crystal lake!? Love this reference.

[@JohnBlack2345]

would love to see you review Dracula Vs. Frankenstein.

[@Ugramosch]

The Monster wearing Sneakers almost killed me xD

[@killerninjakitty815]

Rodan vs the subway monster, the rodan sequel we never seen and knowing toho at that time probably would have made it

[@AmaryInkawult]

killer ninja kitty clearly this is how Rodan came into existence. He used to be a gangster who was killed by a demon. No wonder Rodan appears from underground in his debut!

[@dubuyajay9964]

Will Kaiju War Hawk Tanzania be in it?

[@killerninjakitty815]

@@AmaryInkawult the bad part is that actually makes a more plausible origin story than some of the ones that have been put out

[@killerninjakitty815]

@@dubuyajay9964 I would love to see that

[@timephire]

God Bless 70's Katt Williams!

[@wstine79]

War Hawk Tanzania sounds like someone from Wakanda.

[@MrAlumni72]

That's my new legal name as of tomorrow - I'm putting this video on pause and driving down to the county courthouse right now!

[@skylx0812]

...Well Kinda forever

[@atomikpunk6038]

Or Tanzania.

[@durrydog2766]

Yo @wstine79 what is your profile pic?

[@lookingforlove839]

@Will Fryer 2 it's as fake as Madagascar

[@go4tops406]

I hope one of my friends will name their kid Warhawk Tanzania!

[@koboldengineering7687]

Nice Kiryu pfp

[@go4tops406]

Ramen Noodles yo thanks man

[@antonyfoof9663]

6:45 FUN FACT about the 70's sometimes you accidentally speak in funk.

[@Akutabai5]

I didn't know Monk's in ancient China (200 BC) brandished Katana's from the Edo period (1603 - 1868)

[@mattkimminau8275]

I'd love to see a review on The Watchers, with Corey haim and Michael ironside. It scared the crap out of me when I was 7, but I never knew the name of it. I saw it again in my 20s and laughed at how corny it was, but it left a lasting impression on me

[@peterkrug2327]

When I first saw the thumbnail for this video I thought it was supposed to be a picture of Brandon wearing a dress.

[@jimhaverlock9784]

Those SFII sound effects were a top tier move. Pure art.

[@DchanZockt]

You added Street Fighter 2 sound effects over the fight scenes? I think I'm in love. ♥

[@daveyboy5273]

Yo, you've out done yourself with this review! 🤣🤣 The Street Fighter sound effects during the basketball court brawl is priceless! 🤣🤣

[@HeilRay]

The guy trained Rodan. The true King of Monsters train monsters.

[@RichardWatt]

Brandon, I think the soundtrack wants to be Joe 90 more than Doctor Who :)

[@ossinleffa-arkisto3046]

You should do review about another star wars ripp-off: Starchaser. Animated movie from the 80's.

[@unclepatrick2]

I saw this as Gang War on a local channel Saturday Night Horror show in the mid 80's. I remember the Hosts could not believe that a film like this exist.

[@irishj_21st]

Was this Big trouble in little Brooklyn?...The only thing it missed was Rowdy Piper bubblegum quotes...awesome review...Brandon is king🤘

[@ImInLoveWithBulla]

War Hawk Tanzania just replaced Keenan Wynn’s Colonel Bat Guano as film history’s best example of “if that is your real name”.

[@rossthebesiegebuilder3563]

13:23 Worst "That's what she said" joke ever.

[@troyf.9050]

The funny part is Brandon is just as corny as the film's he reviews.😂.

[@Giran_0]

They should have gotten the real Rodan for the movie,he would have put up a better fight

[@randybarnett2308]

Giran 0 he'd eat that demon🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

[@laughtrack9028]

You should do magic 1978

[@MrConshunce]

So the people who made Venom must've been inspired by this film for the symbiote travel plan...got it! SMH

[@joshmiller5197]

Man just seeing a glimpse of alligator took me back to when my dad rented it on vhs. I was like 5 or 6 in the 80s. Hope u get to review it. Good job

[@t.andrewhanes872]

Thanks for the name drop on Brother Theodore. I had never heard of him before. Knowledge is Power!

[@TheViscoKid]

I remember seeing a poster for this movie at a TGI Friday's years ago. I had never heard of the movie, so it was odd that a big chain restaurant would put up a poster for such an obscure film.

[@Bramblett89]

War Hawk Tanzania is the best name that anyone or anything will ever have.

[@kelleycondon6504]

I Still to this day remember the first time I saw the The Burbs it is one of my favorite movies

[@peterkrug4124]

"Rodan Vs. The Subway Monster" Sounds like the title of a pretty cool movie!

[@JohnDRobinsonelectronicdrums]

War Hawk Tanzania sonds like the African version of the commodore 64 game

[@dragontamergm7756]

They may not have recorded some of the audio, but at least they replaced it with a groovy soundtrack.

[@tureytaino2785]

Brandon. you are making way more nostalgic movies than the Nostalgia Critic.

[@oliverewarthopkins7818]

I'm a simple man, I see that Brandon has posted another review. I watch, I laugh, I like.

[@shainewhite2781]

8:25. West side story by Melvin Van pebbles? 😁😁😁

[@forgottenbard7333]

I think the possesed guy is actually an incarnation of the dark lord Chin-chin

[@TheSefirosu200x]

*Brandon mentions bedbugs* Me: *TRIGGERED* Seriously, I had the things for over a year and it was the worst year ever. They are the absolute worst bug infestation to have.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Nice Master Asia pose on the thumbnail.

[@therealkillerb7643]

This channel really deserves more subs.

[@kennydeez..1774]

"Did Everyone InThe 70's Dressed Like They Owened Their Own Carpet Stores!"..LMAO 🤣... 🤣 🤣...

[@spookyspacecuck2233]

Nice job getting a r34 artist for the thumbnail.

[@HeilRay]

Who?

[@latviandragon2718]

?

[@lexgil6520]

War Hawk Tanzania. Priceless.

[@TheEyez187]

11:14 - Spade in sequins on his jacket!??! Streetfighter addition perfect!

[@dovahkiin2158]

Hey Brandon, think you can review a film called "Hearts and Armour"?

[@ossinleffa-arkisto3046]

My favourite time of the week. New video from Brandon.

[@kellybrincks]

Best review show on the interwebs

[@willtheangrydudeist9120]

"All of the great heroes are dead... Buddha is dead... Jesus is dead... Ghandi is dead... And I'm not feeling so well, myself..." - Brother Theodore

[@luannet.4470]

"Fortunately, I am not a great hero, so I have nothing to worry about." -Sister Theodora

[@halberd-3291]

Hey Brandon. Seems unlikely that you’ll see this comment, since this video is several days old, but I still want to say it anyways. Thanks for your reviews and for being so damn great, Brandon. Not only have you enlightened me on way more cult, exploitation, and in some cases awesome movies than I ever thought I’d know about, but you’re also the reason I watched the 1954 Godzilla film, and now want to watch all those of the Heisei series as well. First one I checked out was Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla, if you’re wondering. Now I intend to order the 1984 one over Amazon. Thanks for inspiring me to watch these films!

[@IsraelShekelberg]

Hilarious subject matter hilariously delivered.

[@MrAlumni72]

4:47 - Ed Grimley style, activate!

[@StCerberusEngel]

War Hawk would later be promoted to general and go on to be cartoon Rambo's arch nemesis.

[@jamcalx]

You should look up Welcome Home Brother Charles aka Soul Vengeance.

[@grapeshot]

The 1970s when everybody went color blind and got high and just gave up.

[@shainewhite2781]

9:40. Yes, they did own carpet stores back 70's!😂😂

[@wonkawilly5573]

"What's in the cellar hair, klopec? 😅😅😅 The burbs

[@NewbombTurk.]

Per the Kung Fu Fandom forums: "Warhawk Tanzania's real name is Warren Hawkins and he was an exponent of Nisei Goju-Ryu karate under the art's founder, the late Hanshi Frank Ruiz. As a matter of fact, Ruiz served as the action director for both of Tanzania's films. According to current Nisei Goju-Ryu head and actor Wilfredo Roldan, Warhawk was actually a brown belt when he was making these films. The last he heard was that Warhawk had been living in Brooklyn, but that was many moons ago."

[@thepooroldsoul8179]

That friend of his looks like one of the band members of Toto or Alan Parsons.

[@LancetFencing]

you just totally got props for recognizing brother Theodor. “brrrringing forrth AAEGGs the size of fooot balls”

[@gatorshark0870]

Wow, I see you have a new title card artist! Or are you trying out a new style?

[@AmaryInkawult]

Gator Shark08 I think they also did Fight Ichzer One! Title card too.

[@anitarichmond8930]

Ok, you got me with that line" or try to sell him a mogwai"

[@kennydeez..1774]

OMG!!..This My First Time Watching Your Channel. And I really Do Like It. You Are Very Informative and Funny. I Luuuuv Your Sarcasm In Your Reactions. Especially Blaxploitation Movies...You Never Cross The Line And Your Comments Are Hilarious and Used Harmlessly 🤣 .This Is Why I Subscribed While Watching You At 3:30am. I Was Laughing So Loud At You Bruh. 🚫🧢...Keep It Up Maaaainnn !✌🏿OUT

[@medinamojo]

Brandon your funny af, i dont even like old movies and yet you are introducing me to them with your funny mannor and actually making it interesting. Ive been subbed since 13k btw. Keep it up! 9totally not in school rn)

[@Derpy1969]

Love the sparklers in the fuse box 14:09

[@davidlathrop9360]

Apparently I just instantly like anything with Brother Theodore in it...

[@theawesomeran7779]

You really need to do Welcome Home Brother Charles aka Soul Vengeance

[@Schwartzbruder1]

my god how have I never heard of this movie

[@ImInLoveWithBulla]

Even the old lady from Airplane would have trouble understanding some of the Jive in this movie.

[@daveroche6522]

Suddenly I have a craving to rewatch Kentucky Fried Movies 'Fistful of Yen'.....

[@michellerhoades8774]

All I could find is that he was born Warren Hawkins, he was a brown belt, and he lived in Brooklyn.

[@NickoftheCosmos]

Found these movies War Hawk Tanzania was in on amazon video and they also are on prime video as well.

[@giladpellaeon1691]

Speaking of sewer mutants, I so hope you will one day review C.H.U.D. (and/or The Stuff). And does the hype man look a bit like a '70's version of Theon Greyjoy?