Break (Jake and Amir)

WEIRDEST KISS EVER!! For more Jake and Amir, make sure to check out our / ja !

[@riedstep]

amir's depressing stories about his family are the funniest

[@Pedakin]

YEAH!

[@manavnaik1607]

I like when he’s mean to children more

[@ohiasdxfcghbljokasdjhnfvaw4ehr]

this might be the best one

[@justinbronz4943]

To put this all in perspective: 1) Amir arrives home 2) Dad throws frying pan at the back of Amir's face 3) Amir runs to his car 4) Dad threatens to move 5) Mom planks behind the car and begs to be ran over 6) Dad pushes the car to run her over 7) Dad then attempts to shit on the car 8) Amir crashes into the garage, goes to the mall and returns with a $2,000 watch for dad 9) House is empty and family leaves a suicide note

[@starfox300]

This is the most absurd course of events

[@Pedakin]

I think you’re misinterpreting that last part, I think his dad just took the family (minus Amir) and moved. The “Here died a happy family” is just colorful language to say he tuned the family, as opposed to literal death.

[@EndOfSmallSanctuary97]

Holy shit, put into writing like this makes it sound even more insane

[@nihal19961]

He is driving shotgun 0:56, so im assuming its the asian hooker he took home to impress dad that's driving! Adds a new perspective 10 years after its release! I never noticed how amir is a straight up slam poet and all his words are sadder the more you know his backstory! XD

[@kylefox2397]

*back of Air's frickin' face

[@olinkirkland]

"I book it like a librarian" taupe

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

That quote is forever engrained into my vocabulary

[@BadGoof]

DOPE!

[@weezerfanatic5320]

How dare you

[@A2Ztigers]

Personally I think it's grey

[@Sweet_Dee]

amber

[@LukeMM95]

I can't believe the show is over and we never got to see Amir's Dad.

[@Tykwondokid]

LukeMM95 I am so upset about that as well. I thought that he may be at the premiere of their show during the finale of the show.

[@yerbamateslut]

LukeMM95 It's because he FRICKIN MOVED.

[@tartalja]

LukeMM95 Nah it's better this way, they already ruined it with portrayal of Mickey which was shit. It's best to be left to the imagination.

[@fusianducks]

Watch it guy

[@xx0chrissy]

he was supposed to be there but he moved

[@JugurthaHadjar]

"His only daughter!". He got me there.

[@JRWW_EFC]

"Looked like a mud covered slug and stank like a pug"...it's quotes like these that give me faith in my fellow man

[@DanCaporello]

"You havent been right about... any of the things you've said... well, ever..." One of my absolute favorite J&M moments right here. LOL

[@bendonaldson7274]

Sure, Pat doesn't have a real Dad, but he's got a cool step dad with a bitch load of pizza.

[@markkittel44]

Ben Donaldson Then who's the boozy dad married to boozy mom?

[@MasterMedicHQ]

Ben Donaldson C-SNAP

[@ShatteredDimensionz]

TRO.

[@ABLW100]

Ben Donaldson Amir's Dad has spinnly little legs. How does he shit on the car them?

[@deaconblues_]

+MasterMedicHQ Chris "C-Snap" Gethard

[@matthewgonzalez2727]

"The back of your face?" "THE BACK OF MY FREAKIN' FACE..."

[@bunnyfaceperson123]

Yea!!!

[@xanderhenthorn596]

"Crack goes the weasel!"

[@fredof4413]

Pats delivery of “you monster!” Makes me think it was the origins of Will

[@elizabethrb]

"Show don't tell" doesn't apply to Jake and Amir, ever.

[@vwlz8637]

Elizabeth B its tell dont show

[@mrpirate6187]

I hate this format. It's not too funny hearing it being described and not seeing it happen. Probably saves them a bunch of money, though.

[@octopusph.d7737]

@@mrpirate6187 idk, its so much ridiculous shit going on that i cant really imagine it being done in a timely and funny fashion on camera

[@innerDialectic]

@@mrpirate6187 Serious question: Can you picture things inside your head? Some people can't do that

[@mrpirate6187]

Nikhil Prabhu Yes, but it's nowhere near as good as seeing it.

[@isha6268]

I actually love Jake and Amir, they're the people that instead of being sad and crying, I watch their videos and it puts me in a much better mood, they literally saved my life and I thank them everyday, thank you so much guys! I love you two comedy geniuses!

[@rossellapipolo4954]

Same

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Isha literally saved your life? Wow.

[@Maazin5]

Amir's monologues are seriously underrated as writing masterpieces.

[@dynaboyjl.4220]

Uncross the eyes, there it is.

[@cazman182]

Same here, the bit where he's crying like a coward screaming "It's a set up it's a set up" makes me cry laughing

[@MojiBeau]

can someone please do a compilation of all the moments where amir talks about his dad? I would watch it every morning to start my day off right

[@smokejc]

+Morgan Dakin Everyone who could do the compilation freakin' moved.

[@diarmuidmalanaphy8465]

don't you start your day with a grilled gizz sandwich

[@Bubdiddly]

Gizz?

[@ricejacksonton9750]

Learn the alphabet!

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

+rice jacksonton What's the point, I can't freakin see!

[@KevinHilt]

"While my dad threatens to move." So subtle, but so hilarious if you get it.

[@stevenbrule5285]

I love that this implies that Pat is always in the background listening to Jake and Amir's bickering. Poor guy. Forced to listen to their constant arguments AND he doesn't have a dad!

[@toongoon9778]

how do they come up with this shit.

[@Ekvitarius]

Practice.

[@TheRandomBiscuit]

Matthew Melhuish I'm pretty sure they're Jewish

[@Crashj7f67h]

This sounds like what the old Eminem (1999) would rap.

[@jokonsch]

That's because Amir is a huge Eminem fan.

[@michaelholtz599]

@@jokonsch Yeah! He downloaded 2 songs on iTunes and listened to the beginning of one, but he can really see why people are hooked on this shit!

[@chilldude2239]

Yeah it's sounds like Stan

[@emilyjaneingram1]

"Don't ruin my day with this sad, sad story, uncross the eyes, there it is." HA!

[@jonesyXP]

some oscar award winning shit from mr. pat cassels there

[@dylanjwebmusic]

More like Fat Cassels right

[@GHEBRETINSAE123]

Amir: "he chucks an iron skillet at the back of my face" Jake: "the back of your face" Amir:" The back of my FREAKIN face" I love those quick little back and forth moments like these lol

[@DarkSaintElite21]

This episode is def top 3.

[@markkittel44]

Top 10 if nothing else. It goes over the top with Patrick Cassels at the end....

[@ProjectILT]

get a dad pat

[@KyleSisco]

LOL I wish someone said that in the video at the end

[@matthewgonzalez2727]

Kyle Sisco Amir definitely should have yelled that at the end

[@Snip3rmonkey]

I do love when amir speaks for ages at a time :D

[@Yimello]

That guy in the background who looks like Bo Burnham moves pretty fast.

[@M1C4H.H]

Pat's acting here deserves a country music award. In general underrated acting from Pat. What a legend.

[@gullungen95]

"The back of my face, yeah! Hit me square and pop goes my weasel"

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

Crack*

[@rooboy1234567890]

I actually never caught on to "book it like a librarian" till now hahaha

[@hazeofthegreensmoke505]

Maybe the best dialogue in a skit ever

[@Bredification]

I can't favorite this more than once, on a single account, so I signed up for more. Brilliant stuff.

[@Katanaman98x]

Lol in a hardly working pats dad shoots himself. Nice continuity!

[@Jupiterninja95]

Well.. Pat also shoots himself in the same episode so the continuity isn't *that* great

[@Titan14151]

And here we arrive at my first ever Jake and Amir episode. Each time I see this I'm amazed I actually clicked on another episode hahaha

[@tlee753]

By far the greatest Jake and Amir episode I have ever seen...

[@jaysean8800]

A legendary series, R.I.P to my teenage years, every day 5 minutes after school binging Jake and Amir and is now dead, oh man this sad, their podcast is dead too, COME THE FUCK ON

[@B2Roland]

How is their podcast dead?

[@Magsteez]

"Oh no is WRONG" LOL

[@TurtleBerd]

You haven't been right about any of the things you've said. Ever.

[@jesusthroughmary]

This whole episode is solid gold. Genius.

[@RaspberryReese]

one of the funniest jake and amir videos ever

[@OutlawZv]

book it like a librarian hahahaha, never heard that one

[@noby_]

amir: a gold rolie polie for that oldie trollie jake: oh no.. XD

[@jimjones1049]

this episode slowly became one of my favorites

[@Wheatsy]

The "uncross the eyes... there it is." is perfect.

[@Kjack49044]

Don't...be like Pat Cassels?

[@carrotmaster8521]

have parents?

[@alephbunchofnumbers]

naw man. c-snap is the coolest step dad ever, pat is the absolute luckiest

[@HyperSoraSky]

Favorite jake and amir by far

[@AwmgHaxingnoob]

What a great video to watch released on my birthday!

[@calebrules0100]

i keep cracking up when amir says "Oh no is.... WRONG" haha so funny

[@bigt1877]

I literally cried I laughed so hard

[@michaelpatm]

"He means well..."

[@EvilPineappl]

Possibly one of the best Jake and Amir's in a long time

[@reevesj3]

one of the best jake and amir

[@sereysothe.a]

its new years eve eve 2019

[@ninvusoogoar6098]

is it weird i wish i had amir as a friend. would make life deadly yet fun!

[@FilthyNobeard]

Ninvus Gaming What exactly were you smoking three months ago?

[@virgo18187]

The continuity of Jake and Amir is flawless.

[@jesusthroughmary]

One take Jake

[@edpotts9896]

This is one of my favourite episodes by far

[@painisbeautifulthing7985]

J&A is X 100 times more hilarious when drunk

[@coreyperdue1966]

Or high

[@gybpyro]

does anyone think this Rolex is the same Rolex he tries to give Jake later? That's why there are so many links missing, so his dad could wear it on his weak spindly ankles like an ankle bracelet

[@kunschner]

That... Explains... EVERYTHING!

[@TheArdubag]

I just love the super-speed-teleport guy in background! :D

[@haveaniceday8882]

it's funny how in the vids amir has an recurring dad being an ass joke. but in the podcast Jake does

[@TheCloud175]

Is that Bo burnham in the background?

[@wrongandeversmiling]

You know every time I see a Jake and Amir video and Amir talks about his dad, I favorite the video and practice his story about his dad to tell as jokes.

[@apopple1299]

I'm watching this on New Year's Eve eve!

[@Schubert34]

is that bo burnham behind Amir?

[@TaterTots620]

Whoa I see him and he looks so much like Bo!

[@FisforFenton]

it's weird to watch this knowing pat is dead.

[@ced326]

No, it's his dad that died. Get your facts straight.

[@geckoladyemma]

@@ced326 pat being murdered became a running gag later on

[@Jbam17]

hahahha thats so impressively original and hilarious that i nearly pissed my pants

[@clints11]

By far my favorite episode ever

[@jeffbrondo6831]

I had a good December 39th....

[@gogeta30min]

I don't get it, if his mom was lying supine, how was she kissing the pavement? Is she an owl? Is she possessed? Because no human that I know of can turn their head 180 degrees.

[@wanderingmindpodcast8673]

kissing the pavement is figure OOOOOOFFFF SSSSSPPPEEEEEEEECCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!11!1!!!!!!!/watch?v=7CPCwWRSxlo

[@gogeta30min]

wandering mind podcast yeah, a figure of speech meaning face to the ground, but supine means on your back, so I was asking how her face was to the ground if she was laying on her back.

[@Morrissey2k]

Ugh there's always some dumbass trying to call bs on some little part of Amir's story as if any of it made sense, let alone actually happened. By the way, a few things happened in between him saying she was supine and when she was kissing the pavement so its not unrealistic that she just easily flipped over.

[@Neondarkness72]

Chris M Prrretty sure they are joking most of the time. The fact that a person points out a very simple error in the story, when the entire story is full of much bigger insane contradictions and claims that make no sense, is pretty funny to me.

[@maxwellthomas7748]

yeah, but he also says his dad hits him on the back of his face with a skillet. Can that be explained?

[@SuzukiKid400]

That was awesome. Amir, you did really well on this vid. Must have taken a lot of takes to get some of those lines right!

[@opticflavors]

Best vid yet. Laughed my head off

[@micahhepler5207]

Who the heck planks supine? Amir's mom apparently...

[@mattcelder]

This might actually be the most quotable episode ever, which is saying a lot

[@mrreggin1]

After all these years, I just understood the "book it like a librarian" joke hahaha

[@piffsmith6971]

Jaboon : glad I'm not the only one to just have gotten it after literally years

[@Silverwind87]

So Pat doesn't have a dad, and his little brother died.

[@taliakellegg5978]

Albert Nave he has a step dad csnap

[@StefanRS]

where does amir get these large amounts of money from?

[@gdnm]

because he's an unpaid consultant

[@StefanRS]

g00dn4m3 I thought Jake hired him as an unpaid intern

[@gdnm]

he's both

[@SeahawkSTRIKE]

he won the lottery

[@markkittel44]

Seahawk STRIKE Tree times.

[@luigidude00]

I honestly couldn't stop watching the guy behind Amir doing his magic act.

[@jokonsch]

I pray to the only god I know that Jake and Amir vids stay this awesome :)

[@roughryder5]

Overacting on Pat's part. Moral of the story...Don't be like Pat Castles

[@MiniBroAdventures]

*cassles.

[@roughryder5]

Scratch that..."Dont be like Mini The Adventuring Midget"

[@xcess7]

i miss Sarah

[@XxMadster]

i love when he says "i book it like a librarian" lol

[@TheCouncellor]

I love the chit chat in all your videos excellent video they are great keep them coming love the amusing stories

[@Infuez]

best one in a while!

[@jingerstorm]

someone needs to make a series about all the crazy stories amir has told through out the course of this web series.

[@67hoursAndCounting]

hit me square and crack goes my weasel. Where do they come up with this hilarious stuff!?

[@danieljohnson2046]

Amir's dad gutted the house, left the note and then FRIKIN MOVED!!

[@VeryBeowulf]

I love how it’s never fully confirmed if Amir or his parents are cursed with him, or if he is cursed with his parents.

[@soundtrackreviewer]

funniest one in a while

[@EastCoastPeace3]

these vids cheer me up so much

[@russelll15]

My favorite episode

[@fleshboundtobone]

The lengths they went to here to fit the 'Alabama slammer' bit in is why I love J&A

[@iamOHkay]

"... and I book it like a librarian..." I am so using that now.

[@Salmoned]

This has to be one of the top 10. I wonder if we coukd ever get a top 100 J&A!

[@the12221]

haha best jake and amir!

[@gb12rulez]

This this was post on my BDay I am so happy

[@McSquishieproduction]

Amir is the reason we watch these videos. There isn't a problem here, it's just if you eat enough chocolate cake your going to want it vanilla.

[@NickDBaker]

That doublely goldy rolly-polly makes this holy-smolly feel holy

[@cookooforcokopuffs12]

I love it when Amir tells story's

[@thatquietkid]

the guy in the back put on headphones as quickly as amir can put on sunglasses