Break up guilt. How to get rid of breakup anxiety and move on

Breakup guilt can stop you dead in your tracks. So, how to get rid of breakup anxiety and move on? This video looks at why we feel guilt and a fear of failure after a breakup, particularly of a codependent relationship. And asks what these emotions and feelings are trying to tell you about yourself that can lead to personal growth and self improvement. How to let go of guilt after narcissistic abuse, how to find compassion for yourself, codependency recovery and heal.
Join my Facebook Group: / loveyouchooseyourlife
Grab my free e-book: vivianmcgrath.com/e-book

[@speedyb5434]

Stop expecting and trying to make people change. Love them for who they are OR leave and let them find happiness elsewhere.

[@daniellestaley9432]

Thank you so much for this video. After breaking up with my ex almost two months ago and realizing he had dissimissive attachment style, I've literally binged on tens upon tens of hours of videos dissecting and reflecting about everything I ever said and did in our relationship that I should have / could have done differently had I only had a the framework to understand what I inherently knew.. Our breakup was very sudden (althougth inevitable ) and I was sure to let him know that while I could love him all day as he as my friend, in a romantic relationship, we were just not compatible. I know it hurt him to the core, and my heart has been breaking everyday with the thought that had I know what he was, I could have done better somehow. He is a good person and he was very good to me, but as someone that had experienced a lot of trauma as a child and as an adult, he carries a very low vibrantional energy about him that for someone like myself who is very extroverted and a super empath, is very unhealthy. I cry everyday over the guilt and from missing him , but I have stayed no contact. There has just been such excruciating moments of pain, I cannot express. But I am self-aware enough to not reach out -- his healing is just as paramount to me as my own. I know I have to let him go in my heart to move on, but its been difficult I think, in part because of the guilt. Thank you for this video and reminding me that I did the best I could do under the circumstances.

[@pinkmoonbeautyshorts3766]

I’m going trough this right now. Told him yesterday that I don’t want to carry on with this relationship after 5 years together and I feel physically sick how guilty I feel. He also has unresolved childhood trauma and his energy has drained me tremendously throughout the years. The problem is Im a massive empath and he keeps insisting that we keep trying and I feel so bad for not wanting it anymore.

[@mini69]

I know that this is old, but I know exactly what you are feeling. The self-hatred is so hard to get through and it hurts so much, especially when I know that there were underlying insecurities and complexes that I didn't know that I had and how they were affecting me and I didn't realize the amount of undue responsibilities that I was putting on myself even when she told me I didn't need to. It hurts and all I want is to love and be with her, but I know I need to change and grow for myself

[@mithilasingha7482]

Finally found something that told my heart.I was sacrifaising every freaking happiness of my life, my career and every freaking thing for him. And so amazed to see the comment section that i am not alone in this battle. Thank u so much..

[@AnaLockett]

I cannot believe i just found this video. I feel like you literally explained my relationship. You just talked to my soul. Thank you!

[@mousseva]

Same

[@dannaification3767]

Ended my relationship exactly a week ago, and you explained its dynamic masterfully. I didn't realize the level of guilt buried inside me until you broke everything down. It really was a lost cause. It is unfortunate that I ignored the signs when I first saw them, but at least I'm glad I got out of it early before I put my entire life on hold, which is undoubtedly what would've eventually happened. Throughout this week I felt bad for him and because I was choosing not to "fight for him" anymore and instead "gave up", but you're right: I too needed saving, and save myself is what I did. Thank you so much for this video

[@babbaruff1045]

Breaking a really good person's heart is the absolute worst feeling in the world, it quite honestly nearly killed me 😞

[@costello357]

I’m feeling guilt for just “Not wanting to be a with him.” .... and I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety over the little things or if he really was a jerk .... or just not what I want anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ No abuse, no coerciveness, etc...

[@scarletRN]

I have just been scrolling through and within minutes I felt as if you were right here in my living room holding my hand and speaking so gently, absolute truth. I am in tears as I tell you thank you, Vivian. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video. I needed this so very badly. Again, thank you.

[@Unbeatable]

I'm glad you found me.

[@zigggyyyc7342]

I definitely felt this after my breakup. It's also particularly hard if you're a guy breaking up with a covert narcissistic female who likes to play the victim. The breakup was really messy and she got her parents involved who tried to convince me to stay.. I ended up packing up my stuff while she was out the next day and got the hell out. This was after having a nervous breakdown.. I was flooded with calls and messages from her, making me feel even more guilty for the way I left. It's been 3 years now and it's taken me a long time to educate myself that I was actually in a abusive relationship. I still feel a tinge of guilt though

[@khozg]

Thank you so much for this. I've been in my relationship for over 3 years trying to "fix" my s/o. Deep down I know they're not good for me and that I should move on, but I haven't been able to come to terms with that. I've always hoped for the day they'll understand me and better themselves. I don't want to waste anymore time feeling guilty and looking through rose tinted glasses. Thank you for this video, This has really helped me.

[@kcd7836]

So true and makes so much sense. Fear of abandonment

[@lonelisa2010]

Thank you. A very important video. I hope you also mean it about a sweet, maybe somewhat emotionable unavailable person, who is good in all ways and try their best to their ability. And yet, they cannot be an active enough part of a fulfilling, interesting life ? I love this man, but I miss a real man.

[@sophwaring5160]

Been panicking so much about having to break up with my partner, and you’ve just given me the strength I need. Thank you so much Vivian

[@meghakesarwani2105]

Thankyou so much. I really needed this .I was so much in guilt that may be I have done something wrong by leaving him because he was toxic but no i tried tried and tried and then I quit. I am no more guilty of leaving him. It was a long time of 3.5 years and leaving him was the best decision I could ever take. I don't want anyone to feel guilty of choosing their happiness. God is with you in every path of your life, and whatever happens happens for a reason. Thankyou so much ma'am.

[@jordanhall6903]

Thanks Vivian. This is what I needed but couldn't see. I think I felt it deep down, but my heart and mind have been playing a game of chess that started long before the breakup started.

[@juliabusto2272]

I can relate, Jordan. My gut, heart, and head are all conflicting it feels like. It’s normal, and I hope things got better for you.

[@jesslyne6691]

Agh I just love you! It's as if a case study were done on my relationship. You worded everything I have been grappling with and everything I so needed to hear. Having just ended a four year relationship from this exact mould of topic, I needed this! Thank you!

[@GA-nd8tz]

I never understood what made me devote so much to trying to make it work , reassuring her every day , given into the demands , sacrificing my career , body and mind . Why ? ... I do not hate the narc , harsh lesson in life , learning from it and overcoming it . Looking after your own happiness and the rest will follow.

[@Unbeatable]

Absolutely. Put you and your needs first, find self love and self esteem and everything changes. Self-worth: why self-esteem and self-love matter: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r2bFdnirrNB_b9k

[@jakejoymulyk5866]

It is strange when this mix of 'wanting to help' gets mingled with guilt. Do you really want to help them, or feel better about yourself? I really appreciate how you put a balanced perspective on this. I always try to explain my situation with balance because it feels in-genuine to put the blame all on the other person. It feels hollow. When I try to explain how I played a part in my breakup, friends and family tell me that I am just making excuses for him. I try to think about what they are saying. They think that my next thought will be one of guilt and this will drive me back to him. I see that now. I have been with him mainly out of guilt, which is a very strange thing considering the very unloving ways he has conducted himself at times. This video helps me understand things better.

[@mimiholistichairhealer8868]

Sheesh this has me crying like a baby. Thank you thank you thank you for the raw vulnerable and real video. More of this content is so needed on youtube and in the world in general ❤️ Thank you!

[@0102mackenzie]

I recently ended an emotionally manipulative & soul draining relationship. My first serious relationship and he just took advantage of my kindness and empathy. I finally gained the courage to end things and completely block and remove him from my life. It’s been very hard for me because I just feel so bad all the time. I was having another panic attack thinking about things and trying to move on. Your words calmed me & resonated with my soul and my feelings exactly.

[@TherealBigJohnSt33l]

Thank you I’ve questioned myself over these few months where did I go wrong. Seeing this has helped me sooo much. I felt I failed, and looked back at what I could’ve done different. Again wish I would’ve seen this 3 months ago

[@andreanlobo7373]

Thanks so much for this video and for the insights. The reason i feel like a "failure" at times is that I bottled up all the bad emotion and never spoke of the things I never agreed with. The Feeling of guilt rises from the fact that had i spoken things, perhaps, could have been different (good or bad). I have learned that it helps to speak, as you rightly say that any emotion or feeling is a messenger. It's one of the lessons I take along with me.

[@naturewalk5470]

Response to: Break Up Guilt. Thankyou SO Much for being So Loving and Compassionate and Worthy. And helping to Teach Us these Posituve things!!

[@Unbeatable]

My pleasure, I'm glad it helped.

[@don-ent8272]

I feel that we are trying to fix something that when it doesn't fix, it breaks the r/s

[@jaidynjohnson2192]

Resonated with every word 💔 thank you for such a helpful video

[@natgq7242]

This video is a blessing to me. Thank you for you wisdom.

[@graceandmichael]

This was very moving and really helped me. Thank you for being so honest and insightful and delivering it from a place of support. Glad I found your KZbin channel.

[@anne-mariemoore]

This video has literally saved my Christmas day. It was like I was being addressed directly. Thank you so much for making this video. I've downloaded it so I can watch when I need a peptalk. Thank you

[@fme67]

So correct. This is real soulful mindfulness. Mature.

[@vish1211]

Today, today is that day when I have ended things and my emotions (just the ones shared in this video) Vivian, are all over the place. Thank you so much ! I am feeling better and most importantly understood.

[@tiiarantanen3378]

I started to cry mid way because you just put into words a big feeling that I've been pushing back for a long time the fear of never being loved as I am. Thank you so much for the video, through all the tears and pain I think it opened up a process that I'm happy to finally start.

[@SusyV702]

It’s hard when you’re both good people and love eachother. I left my family, life and hometown for him and it’s been almost 2 years and I still don’t feel like home here and don’t see myself in this new state for the long run. He can’t leave not dues he want to ever due to his children. Mine are grown. I’m going back home and losing him but I feel I’m losing myself staying

[@kevdav1es]

I have only now seen this... Broke it off with my ex a few days ago... But you have really helped it. It was toxic and I felt the way you have expained...

[@s3msec]

This is some powerful stuff. I've just ended a 5 year relationship because it drained me so much that i was suffering myself. I could see what the future holds and could not carry it on. The guilt I felt was unimaginable as I loved that person more than anything, but I've done this for me. I needed to hear this. The hard question I have now though is should I tell them that this is what caused the breakup? They probably know deep down but just for closure

[@1Dream000]

I am currently going through this kind of guilt and I feel like this video helped me very much. Thank you

[@koroshiya_1]

Oh my goodness you are so incredibly spot on. You have just described my relationship perfectly. I broke up with him a few days ago. I have struggled with guilt a lot since doing that but I feel better now listening to your wisdom. xx

[@ocdbrainfreeze320]

Thanks for these videos...I’ve been struggling with this but this gives me added perspective🙏🏻

[@Unbeatable]

That's great! Thanks for watching

[@AmaniS002]

Powerful video. Just, wow.

[@suzannescorner199]

Broke up with my bf of a few months. It feels hard because he is actually nice. But something tells me that even though he showers me with compliments, it feels like he is only projecting on me and doesn't actually like me. It feels superficial but I know that the "ick" I get is an alarm bell trying to help me.

[@AP-wt4fi]

I just broke up with him today and I felt so guilty 😢 I don't know if I made a good decision.

[@keep_it_real_1]

Vivian, i have recently discovered you and am enjoying your work very much. You are an amazing woman with great insight. I find you so easy to listen to and you have given me a lot of support and confirmation of my own thoughts, emotions and actions. Thank you for giving so much help to so many and keep on, don't stop. You are also very beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. X

[@williamdowns3390]

Thank you, this was so very helpful. 🙏💛

[@oliviadunkley1146]

This video hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Very well put and helpful!

[@EllaEldadi]

this video is a life changer. thank you so much.

[@alsfowafafwajg]

This video really made a difference for me. Bless you.

[@kathycohan5341]

Thank you so much! Very helpful!

[@Raidoven]

"i was just depending my happiness on him" damn...

[@DCLsMusic]

The whole video was brilliant and very revealing, you've synthesised so many things in such a clear way and for that I thank you deeply. I do have to say and i thank you because I never realised that... now I feel guilt because you made me realise I only offered him conditional love, I was always expecting a change... thats a monsters behaviours... and Im trying to understand how could I be with someone for so many years and only offer him conditional love..? thats evil

[@ClydesBonnie007]

I've been working on my trauma and relationships, now its time to break up with my job!

[@theirritableartist2442]

Thank you for being here. Your words are so healing. Subscribed

[@rickymarquardt6621]

Urika....... 1000% get this 😁 thank you so much..!!! Spot on and I'm in tears trying to swallow that pill that you are absolutely correct on... descriptions of my last relationship and it's tangled webs 🙄

[@mousseva]

This is really helpful

[@dianecricchio721]

Thank you for posting this.. a very smart and genuine message. It helped me very much.

[@ID-dh5wj]

You exactly described me and the relationship I ended few months ago. Your words arrived directly to my soul and will listen to them again and again till I make them mine. Thank you.

[@colinmeng]

Everything you say is exactly on point and describes my relationship with my ex girlfriend i had for the last 4 years... It's just sad, that i haven't left earlier because now it hurts the most. I really feel like i failed to help her.

[@juliabusto2272]

Thank you so much for this video!! This resonates with me greatly and is very therepeutic

[@HelpdeskInParadise]

This was excellent. Spot on! Thank you!

[@BobBob-vj9qv]

Thank you so so much

[@andreslezcano4525]

Amazing insight.

[@joseedubosq105]

This video spokes so much to me. Thank you!

[@makaramarie9189]

I broke up with him we was dating for a couple days and I was losing interest and I really needed to Focus on myself and my mental health anyway I feel so bad looked like he moved on but I hate feeling like this

[@yoursocialmediaassistant-d1827]

this is so relatable...thank you

[@jaskier428]

Hello, firstly, thank you so much for this video. This video gave me a lot of insight on what I have done wrong in my last relationship. Can you make a video on the other side of the spectrum as well? About the break up guilt of the "needy person" for making their partner feel so responsible, enough to a point of exhaustion. I believe this is what I've done and I feel terribly sorry and guilty about it. I just don't know how to forgive myself or if they will ever forgive me themselves. I am so lost on what to do..

[@jaskier428]

It hurts so much to realize how much I've hurt the person I loved the most and I don't know how to come to terms with this fact

[@dannispsychicenergytarot]

So so helpful for me. You’ve explained this perfectly. Thank you so much!

[@naturewitch8687]

I try breaking up with my partner but then he gets sick and it makes me feel guilty 😢

[@nahlbee8565]

Thankyou.. it feels like me.. happy to find you.. thankyou again 🤗

[@RubenWhitter]

Powerful. Thank you.

[@Multiversal_Enzo]

Thanks so much.. Now I can forget all of it!

[@illuminata8097]

Great advice! Thanks for this video

[@Unbeatable]

Thanks for watching

[@okeily]

Thank you.

[@littleiodine9480]

I so much needed to hear this thank you very much.

[@teresanarciso2038]

Thank you for this!

[@srishtitrehan4999]

Thank You!

[@3llaaaa]

Amazing video!

[@melanielogan8915]

Excellent. Thank you 😊

[@adventureguy76]

Yes! I broke up with her I feel bad! We were together almost 2 years.

[@eyerusalemsahlu3255]

Thank you Vivian

[@melindahernandz7942]

what if we shared dogs? he is always reminding me how i abandoned the dogs. i have guilt about that too. what should i do?

[@Zwetschgen]

Thank you so much!

[@sleve695]

Where can i find videos similar with this one? Please?❤

[@bseduarda]

thank you so much

[@ashleyzendarski]

You are amazing ❤️ thank you!!

[@manthouartbutdust]

I have failed!

[@maddybogan9614]

ur awesome

[@splitdog]

Yeah. X

[@Zero_Transmission]

thanks for the video, how can I get more talk with you I need one

[@Unbeatable]

Watch my free Webinar first: How to recover from abusive partners, fall back in love with yourself and never settle for less than you deserve again joinnow.live/s/xMOdfN

[@shiringhadri4016]

This is me.

[@janegray8574]

And me

[@debb.3857]

I LIKE THE EMPTY BUCKET 🪣 THEORY MY PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSOR TOLD ME ABOUT THAT WHEN I JOINED COLLEGE AS A PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR & CRIMINAL LAW LAWYER

[@D0nRidah]

💖💖

[@xLooneyx1]

Thank you so much