Breaking Up an 11-Year Relationship - Always Open

[@martinvanbureniii1478]

I know a TON of people that are or have been in relationships where the desire to have children doesn’t line up. And unfortunately a lot of those situations end in one partner trying to baby-trap the other, and it’s heartbreaking when kids ARE brought into the world under those circumstances. You guys talked about fears, and that’s actually one of mine. As someone who doesn’t want kids right now in my point in life, before dating ANYONE I confirm that they feel the same way (or don’t want kids at all.) But even that is scary, because as the story in this show highlighted, sometimes people change their mind without communicating it (or go the manipulation route and “accidentally” get pregnant.) This story also highlights a fear that many women have, that if this woman was in Florida, she wouldn’t have been able to get an abortion because it was after 6 weeks and could’ve been catastrophic. It’s sad that women don’t have the reproductive rights they should in every state in the country, because they should have full bodily autonomy, but there is also some biiiiiig grey area when it comes to the responsibility forced on the OTHER partner that doesn’t want a child.

[@theold1.]

This might be my new favorite lineup

[@whybecause789]

Another great episode! The chemistry between Barb, Hannah, and Andrew is amazing. Thank you so much for diving so deep into the BOIs. It could have been so easy to go over the 2nd BOI in like 5 minutes, but your discussions are so multi faceted and I think this is a big part of why your show resonates and is so comforting for so many. ❤

[@sunnyostrom4898]

I can't help but get major narcissist vibes off the woman in this 11 year relationship. I was "raised" by a narcissist and I would not wish it on anybody. Seeing my dad in this relationship is really sad because I can see he's been suffering but hasn't been able to express it. I love hearing stories about him before he met her because it sounds like his life was so colorful and fun. When they went to counseling, she would twist everything the therapist said to benefit her, so even getting couples counseling won't help. An over-simplification of narcissists is that they believe nothing is their fault. They are always the victims. They need constant attention. They will manipulate if they sense that there is any hesitation. Subtlety doesn't work with them. When I broke ties with her, I had to make it clear that this was forever and there was no way I would get involved with her again, because I knew if she heard "not at this time" she would start trying to sneak back into my life again. If you can have somebody else break up with her for you, I recommend it (my therapist did it for me). It sounds cruel, but sometimes it's necessary. And whatever you do, do not get baby-trapped! Being raised by her has done so much irreparable damage

[@ShadowStar91]

What better way to chill out in the afternoon, than with another awesome episode 😎🥰. I will admit when the 1st question appeared my brain just went into complete shutdown, cause having never been in a relationship but witnessed this sort of downward spiral around other people, I literally just thought - just end it and take some time for yourself away from the negativity. Being on the spectrum myself - not diagnosed professionally until 23 yrs old, when the mental health question popped up, an approach I've found that worked for me in University (I'm based in the Wales, UK) is having a structured plan of what to do throughout each day, so you don't overload your brain and strain your mental health further.

[@Ramona_93]

So glad this is back ! Yall got yourself a new subscription from an og fan ! :D

[@PinataFreaks]

When it comes to having kids: It's always better to regret not having kids than regretting having kids. If you regret not having kids, then sure, you made a mistake. But if you regret having kids then you are actively fucking up someone else's life. And besides, if you regret not having kids, you can adopt.

[@barbarar2216]

love these! even in serious discussions you guys have a very positive vibe that's very enjoyable.

[@Fangtorn]

The Expanse is great. It's a vision of the future where we finally settle the solar system, but it's an Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos type of space exploration where a handful of billionaires own all the air and water everyone needs to survive. It treats space realistically, so the characters have to deal with the challenges of space, it's not all hand-waved away with magical technology. There's even a new ethnic group of humans who have lived in the asteroid belt for so long that they've adapted to the low gravity to the point they can't live on Earth because the gravity would crush them. It's a bit of a slow burn at first, but once it starts chugging it never stops. Has some of the most jaw-dropping moments of TV I've ever seen.

[@iycsapphire]

I love to wake up and found this...thank you! ❤❤❤

[@stephensommers4628]

That story is insane. I know he wants to do it without looking like the bad guy but it might be just to just bite the bullet and do it. Optics be damned.

[@rwq0042]

If the professor isn't gonna take you doctor's note. Run it pass your dean or head of department.

[@cringlezz]

Sounds like this persons partner is very manipulative or controlling. First red flag was attempting to break up several times. Several to me is give or take 6-8 times. I can understand a few as being 3 ...4 or 5 is pushing it. My first thought is that she wouldn't let him end it, along with saying there have been many complications through their relationship. HUGE red flag when they wrote "My Girlfriend, however, still insists that I DO want kids and that WE ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS." I think this person has been in a controlling relationship for majority of this time, and need to realize to let go. There could be some traumatic background that they are sticking with this person, perhaps dependency issues, or the conditioning of "we have to make this work." I understand it's hard to let something go such as an 11 year relationship, but this person needs to understand they can do so much better, and this person needs to recognize this is a toxic relationship it seems theyre feeding into. One thing Id like people to consider is this isn't how relationship should be. If you can imagine how your ideal relationship with someone should be, does this come anywhere close? I've told friends that after they leave someone like this, and when they meet someone else better, they're going to realize how big of a mistake it was trying to stay with a toxic ex and realize there are far better people to invest your time and feelings into. I would even go as far to say this is an acceptable reason to ghost someone after getting all your eggs in a basket, if they've already denied your attempts to leave them, burn the bridge and get out. Find help from family or friends, just get out.

[@jeffrey_solis90]

I understand the fear of heights. When I'm on a plane, I literally close my eyes and grip the seat in front of me when the plane takes off (sorry to anyone in front of me). Also, when I was playing The Last of Us Part II, that scene with Abby, no thanks. I sweat just thinking about it.

[@sleepybadtzmaru]

The relationship situation. RUN! There's no way to get out as a father, run before she locks you in. "She's a light sleeper..." baby's don't care, they gonna cry and wake her up, drive her crazy and she'll take it out on you. RUN.

[@mcantu1389]

I think they are thinking too pg for 11 year relationship guy. He really needs to record everything, including the argument that will ensue when the breakup happens. I feel like there is some context that we may be missing, but I hope he is safe. Girls be crazy, and she might be the abuser in the relationship and threatens you with allegations which might be why you are still in the relationship after previous failed attempts to end the relationship. This is why he needs to record everything to prove his innocence when and if any allegations arise. Stay safe my guy.

[@fatdouglas4279]

Last time i talked to my doctor I asked him if I was healthy enough to go to Mars. And he said as far as he can see I am more then healthy enough To go :) see you there guys!

[@Lorronzo]

Finally, my dopamine shot for the day 😊

[@allgoodnoworries]

LFG~ !!

[@sarahjurgens91]

Great episode guys! 😊

[@RazielBR]

Wait... you guys in the US don't have to renew your driver's license??

[@Stupranos]

They expire after several years and we have to get them renewed but we don’t re do the whole testing process. Just fill out some forms.

[@RazielBR]

@@Stupranos oh, he have to do a medical examination and after a certain age we get tests

[@Stupranos]

@@RazielBR I think the exception is when you hit a certain age like 75. Might just be you have to renew more frequently don’t remember.

[@iamjeffaroni]

Hannah! 😊 I always enjoy seeing Hannah in episodes; such a positive and radiating force

[@liamgriffin218]

Depression isn't an emergency, it's not like there were an estimated 1.7 MILLION attempts (one of which being my own brother) leading to 48,183 deaths (luckily none of those were my brother) in 2021 in the US alone. But you know, not an emergency at all.

[@micari551]

I loved that you added the pronouns 🥺🥺❤