PSA: we are no longer dating emotionally unavailable men

WELCOME BACK TO A NEW SERIES OF SOUL SURGERY:
RELATIONSHIPS.
EPISODE 5: WHY WE ATTRACT NARCISSIST AND MANIPULATIVE MEN.
PLEASE LEAVE CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK BELOW:
Keeping Up With Breeny Lee:
INSTAGRAM: / breenylee
TWITTER: / breenylee
TUMBLR: / musingsofbee
BLOG: Musingsofbee.blogspot.co.uk
SNAPCHAT: BreenyLee
BUSINESS EMAIL: [e-mail]
PLEASE LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE: goo.gl/Z5Y43u

[@BreenyLee]

PLEASE BEWARE OF SCAMMERS REPLYING TO COMMENTS ABOUT A GIVEAWAY. UNLESS YOU SEE THIS PROFILE POST ANYTHING ITS A SCAM! ALSO I DONT HAVE TELEGRAM!!

[@user-ug3xp5qh2f]

Omg thank you girl I was hoping you'd realise this!!!

[@ladire4354]

BRRRRREEEEE, you are talking about me !! Omg I thought I was crazy. The question is why do we attract them

[@JeannieHart]

Married 9 years. What I know for certain…men who want to be there, will be there. You will never have to question your value, or your relationship. Something I learned: Until we heal ourselves from whatever attracted us to that wrong person, those traits will keep showing up with a different face.

[@nenala7684]

Wow

[@foxyboop4164]

Bam!!!

[@daniellakaifa9112]

How do we identify the issues that attracted us to that wrong person within ourselves? I’m Such a loving person but attract the wrong people

[@Ckretunique]

You said a mouth full and it’s very true

[@nenala7684]

@@Ckretunique girlll

[@theblessedblackwoman]

You are looking great. I am so proud of you. As someone who was married for 22years, its so obvious when a guy is emotionally unavailable. But sometimes we ladies refuse to acknowledge the red flag. We have to value ourselves enough not to let unavailable men keep you on a string. Cut that string and keep it moving. Well-done Breeny.

[@yzma6142]

what were the red flags you think you ignored?

[@theblessedblackwoman]

@@yzma6142 The BIGGEST red flag I ignored is relating to this video. My exhisband although a very nice person did not chase me. He liked me but he never went out of his way to really chase me. I was the one who told him of all the benefits he would have to be married to me. So after a few weeks he proposed, we got married and we had children. We lasted 20 yrs but the relationship was always skewered towards me being the peacemaker, the one working to keep our happy equilibrium etc. He was never bad or violent but he was never passionate about anything either. So in the end my marriage felt like a "functioning but vacuum project". I left and we divorced. Now I'm with a man who is the one doing most of the chasing and the dynamic is so very different and just more fulfilling. Long story, I may make a video about it one day. Never chase or lock down a man if he is not chasing you back.

[@unknownoblivion2417]

@@theblessedblackwoman thank you so much for letting us know and sharing* your experience for the benefit of learning, God bless

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

Question: are these guys we are dating are in fact emotionally unavailable or are they this way only with us?

[@anubis8918]

What does emotionally unavailable mean??

[@princessgigiking]

Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man Can Be Exhausting 😩 This Type of Man Will Drain You & Eventually Break You.

[@ccgirl2737]

will literally ruin your life

[@afrolatinabeauty9502]

Most people aren’t emotionally unavailable they just don’t like you. Men move for the women they realky want

[@Shellacious808]

Sure that happens but a lot of these men really have issues (that they're not doing anything to fix) and you can see it in other areas of their life. No matter how great a woman is, or how much he claims to like her, a man w poor character will not change for her. He may just put on a better show at the beginning.

[@Rossi.K]

This isn't really true. You can be the perfect person and if you meet someone at the wrong time in life, completely sabotage that relationship. Idky we tell ourselves these painful, black and white truths that some how puts the blame on us. It's not about you, but where that person is in their life.

[@afrolatinabeauty9502]

@@Rossi.K it’s not putting the blame on anyone. Not everyone will be for you and you won’t be for everyone. The timing lie is a myth. It’s either you are his dream girl or you aren’t.

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

The same with calling every ex for "narsissist". No, he wasnt necessarily a narsissist, he just didn't love you.

[@Rossi.K]

@@afrolatinabeauty9502 I just don’t know one person who is emotionally unavailable to one person and completely emotionally available to another. that takes hard work and therapy to overcome that.. Had i not did therapy, I would have definitely self sabotage the new relationship i’m in. A person isn’t going to magically heal those issues for you, no matter how perfect they are.

[@lakitajoseph2832]

I’ve literally dated emotionally unavailable men for the past two years 😯😯😯😯 that’s why I’m taking a year off from dating, so I can wholeheartedly focus on developing a healthy, balanced relationship with myself, I can learn how to identify trauma bonding, manipulation, or any other negative, toxic, relationship dynamic without sacrificing my soul and inner peace.

[@montserrattorresnadal5087]

Yessss!!! 👏🏻❤️

[@lizzybesleeping_]

Girl me tooo✨🤍 I’m starting therapy to help me out and I’m just working in silence.

[@naomireedus3074]

Me too I’m learning to love myself and enjoy my singleness more and more each and everyday while I leveling up in life 😊

[@Iamkaylaskai]

Same Girl. I've just come out of an emotionally toxic relationship and I need a break 😭

[@hhaannnnaahh222]

Same, I thought I'd broken my streak of emotionally unavailable men but just left a 10 month relationship with an addict! I definitely want a year off of dating and hopefully a year of celibacy too! With my bpd it's hard to manage my impulsivity and libido sometimes but I need to make a change if I wanna heal my heart and stand on my own two feet. These men don't deserve our hearts and our bodies honestly 😭

[@user-ug3xp5qh2f]

Imagine if us women were emotionally unavailable and as savage as all these hurt men are. Or if we had our guard up the way they do, We would probably have all guys chasing us and all over us. The law of attraction is a real thing. A man will have one bad relationship experience and never love again where's a woman can be hurt so many times and still reset and try again. That pisses me off.

[@fwwaller]

Women ARE emotionally unavailable and savage. Also I've been in a lot of bad relationships and I'm still trying.

[@Rossi.K]

Women are like this.. men just don't speak out about it often. Some of the most savage experiences I've had came from women and friendships.. Men go through the same thing, trust

[@jaykeysproductions]

@@Rossi.K just going thru this and listen wheb a woman decides to be savage And emotionally unavailable it’s just as bad Honestly

[@chisomo8088]

I think it also depends on the person. I'm a woman who for the most part is emotionally unavailable, but I don't make guys in my life bear the brunt of that. I usually let them know indirectly at the beginning of anything, and distance myself before I hurt anyone's feelings. However, I recently became very into an unemotionally available guy. And I believe that women & men manifest this habit in different ways because I didn't really notice the signs at first. I've cut all ties now, and I'm resolved to being alone until I sort myself out, my friends are enough for me now.

[@faithharding8052]

go watch 500 days of summer

[@lmusima3275]

These broken men really should be going for counselling to get to the route of the problem instead of dating. By dating they only create more problems

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Exactly! Stop forcing Men to be in a Relationship. If he says he doesn't want a Relationship. Move on!! Looking GREAT Breeny!

[@anonamous6320]

These men will pretend to want a relationship & still ghost you lol

[@fwwaller]

@@anonamous6320 women do the exact same shit.

[@fresh.prince7472]

@@anonamous6320 I know because women are perfect 🤭

[@StarringShameka]

‼️

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@anonamous6320 Your not in a Relationship until you've met him MOM! 😉

[@mschris6765]

Ended my engagement one week ago because of these same reasons. I’m now grieving the plans I had for our future. I know the pain of staying is worse then what I’m feeling right now😢. Taking things one day at a time.

[@Priya_B]

I got married thinking this would change, believed false promises that his . You should be really proud of yourself! You may get doubts if she/he breadcrumbs but I guarantee you its The grieving process is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do; especially if your ex repeatedly did this or made excuses for his behaviour (I am assuming) - The doubts will come in but ultimately imagine 20/30 years of this?! The pain of staying will always be worse because long term your self esteem will suffer. You have inspired and reminded me to take it one day at a time. You’re grieving the plans of false promises. And you deserve - anyone does- better than that.

[@ang3956]

I did the same thing ... We had a lucky escape sis. Run and don't look back!

[@StarringShameka]

Awwwwnnnn boo! Keeping you in my prayers. I know that wasn’t easy

[@fresh.prince7472]

He must crazy letting you go your beutiful

[@BreenyLee]

You got this ❤

[@zxulou]

An emotionally unavailable man is a man that does not want you and does not see you as his wife period.He is only there for sex. If you are wondering if he really likes or loves you then he does not. When a man wants you, you will know and he will put all effort into pursuing you.

[@MB-xv7er]

Sadly that no longer applies because there are many men that put in effort but still don’t really like the girl they just need her for now.

[@aliciawoods8925]

I was attracted to this kind of man because that’s how my father was. I’ve been healing from my trauma caused by my dad, and learning to fall in love with GOD, and myself.

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

@@rawminimalist9043 yeah same.

[@strikingitrich7630]

Uh oh

[@meganhunt2646]

This hit me hard! So so true

[@flyandshy00]

I cut contact with a person because he wouldn't want to meet in 4 weeks after our first date, only good morning texts and "we should travel together". On weekends he would text at night how tired he is and goodnight. That's what unavailable is, and that guy isn't really into you, just keeps you as the last option.

[@flyandshy00]

@@anonamous6320 it’s just an excuse to keep me around. Also I can fly to Sweden for 7€, that can everyone afford.

[@fresh.prince7472]

@@anonamous6320 do you rethink he has any intention in traveling he probably texts many girls

[@fresh.prince7472]

Lucky escape I'd say

[@keiron.4612]

@@anonamous6320 you really believe her travel to see her he probably talks to lots of girls

[@SAR4UH]

@@flyandshy00 forreal girl i even drew a picture of this guy and was nice to him but h still managed to block and ghhost me

[@Comme_Elle]

It's the worst thing when you really like someone who is emotionally unavailable, but the only thing you can do is walk away.

[@Vr4z1el]

Dated an emotionally unavailable narc for 5 months and I will never do that again. It took me 2+ years to get over it because I lost myself completely trying to earn his affection and desire. Which never happened.

[@Lena-qc5vf]

I really understand you. I was dating a man like that for 3 months and now it's been 2 years and I still can't stop thinking about him. There are always these thoughts that "maybe he's changed now" or "maybe It was just a wrong time" etc.

[@missyg9778]

@lena I know exactly how you feel. But trust me, Breeny has said it before and she is so right, the right person will be the right person for you anytime. The right person wrong time is still the wrong person for you. I thought I met someone like that but didn't fully accept that he wasn't for me until I stopped having feelings for him. I'm so grateful for Breeny's wisdom because it's given me the strength 💪 and tools 🛡 🗡 to protect myself from men that like to take advantage of vulnerable women and from men who just aren't for me. Don't doubt yourself queen ✨ if it's too hard to understand or figure out than they're not the one for you mama.

[@Lena-qc5vf]

@@missyg9778 thank you so much! 💖 You're 100% right. This is why I come back to Breeny's videos even after a long time to remind myself that I deserve so much more. And also to know that there are many wonderful women like us who've been through the same and are still wearing their crowns and not giving up 👑 💅

[@RR-ns7nc]

Wow same

[@geministar2198]

I feel like most people are emotionally unavailable in this modern world, we have become very selfish and self centred as a society. Not saying there aren't well balanced people out there but it takes a little more patience and perseverance to find them 🙉

[@KaimaVixen]

Agreed! There are a lot of emotionally unavailable men and women are becoming emotionally unavailable due to their experiences. The only way to get out of thjs trap is heal.

[@yzma6142]

sometime we confused emotional unavailability with a man just not liking you or wanting you enough. trust some men will be emotionally available when he meets the women he truly wants...

[@Heyu7her3]

Nah men are mostly emotionally unavailable and that switch isn't gonna just turn on. But if they're not man enough to treat any woman with basic consideration and respect, then they aren't decent. 😅

[@princessgigiking]

Trying to help a broken man, you might get cut on the broken pieces. He must heal before entering a new relationship. Thanks for this wisdom Breeny well said ‼️🎯‼️💯‼️

[@faithinthejourney6409]

We are all broken, we attract a reflection. Sometimes we are also emotionally unavailable and attract partners that are also emotionally unavailable so that we feel like we’re trying to open up and we can put it on another person. But we are tracked broken because we are broken. We can’t judge other people for their brokenness we all will need to heal, we just have to make sure we don’t put ourselves in a position to constantly attract unhealthy relationships. Sometimes we are codependent on that unhealthy relationship or are trauma. Makes us attract the familiar feelings of abandonment and rejection.

[@ccleavemebe4790]

@@faithinthejourney6409 no ma’am we are not blaming women for emotionally unavailable men. This whole attract what you are thing is not true

[@shalalala868]

@@faithinthejourney6409 Nope. You are not who you attract. You are who you entertain. Big difference. I’m very attractive and many men express interest. Some of them are dusty and for other reasons don’t make the cut. I am not dusty AT ALL.

[@f.a.r.c1184]

@@shalalala868 💯! You are only what you choose to deal with.

[@ma6542]

This is not an emotionally available man but a man who considers you a placeholder and not his dream girl …. Trust me when a man considers you his dream girl he will try again and again no matter how emotionally unavailable he may be , he will try to work through his emotional unavailability

[@Eg-jd9zt]

Not necessarily. I’ve noticed emotionally unavailable men (aka dismissive avoidants) tend to chase who doesn’t want them. Sure they may be giving them their all but it’s only bc they don’t want them. It’s safe

[@oudjatmerry3069]

Being emotionnaly unavailable is some kind of mental illness. It comes from trauma and abandonnement during childhood. Those men are not criminals. They are sick people who need help.

[@mariannimoh9514]

You look so different sister❤ At this point, I’m not even thinking of entertaining any man anymore. Now they have to go through God to get to me. I’m at a point where I am entertaining God, myself and my career.

[@Fay1106]

I was thinking the same she looks really different!! Great video nonetheless 💕

[@victoriasmith2813]

I cried while watching this because my relationship with an emotionally unavailable man ended not too long ago. I still feel drained and empty. I gave sooo much and got nothing in return. I was everything he needed me to be but he couldn’t be there for me. Apparently, I was a ‘burden’. I was asking for too much. I’m now trying to heal and move on. I’m tired of getting hurt like this though. It’s so exhausting. Thank you Breeny. I really really needed this video❤

[@daniellesharaak115]

Remember, you’re never asking for too much. You’re asking the wrong person ❤ there’s hundreds of people who would LOVE to do the things for you that you deserve, you just have to keep your standard and be patient ❤ you got this, I went through the same thing and became the best version of myself after that

[@victoriasmith2813]

@@daniellesharaak115 Thank you so much Danielle. I needed to hear this.

[@joannamartinez6882]

We’re on the same boat girl. Sending you love and healing vibes ❤️‍🩹

[@tiana2906]

@@victoriasmith2813 trust me sister, a lot of us women are experiencing the same thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we learn and grow from our choices in life. You're a queen that deserves a king....( not a peasant ) 🙏☺❤

[@AngeliqueTraveler]

heartbreaking... but at least you don't have to live with that for the rest of your life...

[@ak-47intelligence75]

Emotionally unavailable men are usually highly abusive. You want to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And do it fast ! Don't let him catch up to you. He will destroy you. He wants to hold you HOSTAGE. Leave quickly. Don't announce it. Just go.

[@Ketee25]

you're so right they're abusive

[@ccgirl2737]

true and I ghost him three days now. I'm fucking done

[@phizzy123]

as women we also have to ask ourselves why we were attracted to emotional unavailability in the first place. a lot of the times you’d be surprised to find out it’s because we are emotionally unavailable as well in other areas in our lives.

[@lareina9071]

We aren’t attracted to them. There’s just a lot of them.

[@phizzy123]

@@lareina9071 respectfully, i have to disagree. if that were the case, there would be a lot more women leaving the minute red flags show up, but there are still many women sticking around emotionally unavailable men because they think they can change them. it might not to apply to you, which is great that means you’re above that, but it definitely exists.

[@abenagyampo]

That’s true. At least for me. For 2 years I was soooo enamored of my emotionally unavailable ex that I was neglecting most of my friendships and even my family. It was like I was addicted to him. 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@phizzy123]

@@abenagyampo i’ve been there too sis, you’re not alone, so i understand. and this is exactly what i’m trying to say, people act like it’s not a thing but it really is. i hope you’re in a much better space now sis ❤️

[@ladyofspa]

100% correct you attract who you are. There's great learning in who we attract shows us where we reject, abandon, ignore ourselves. Pedestaling others means you neglect yourself for others.its a complex understanding but it's not even bout men it's about what is familar to you from childhood.... wounds unmet needs get repeated until you heal and change it. Break the pattern. Good luck💙🤎

[@ShaunaShai]

A lot of the time men tell women the truth by showing us how they feel with their actions. That’s all we really need. The minute that you start acting out of character when “dating”, it’s time to call it a day ❤️

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

Out of character? Examples? 🙂

[@lelo46]

@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever like if you’re typically a happy person but now you’re incredibly anxious, always over thinking, felling insecure or not good enough, feeling like you have to preform and be “better” to get the results you need from the person.

[@marcellousmcilwain6079]

I love it… When you act out of character!!!

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

I met a man who within two weeks was telling me, "I'm terrified because this connection is too good." "If I'm not ready, I'll get ready." He was big on proclamations. I realized quickly that this is the way of an emotionally unavailable man. He will encourage a woman to feel deeply and participate in the chemical rush, while also letting on to the fact that he's afraid. The fear will come up in many ways. He may get colder after intimacy, may take offense to your boundaries, may encourage speeding up the pace or get frustrated about your pace. But his message will seem out of line with reality. Reality is: this is a person who DOES NOT KNOW YOU. Your ego will be tempted to believe that he actually sees your value. Do not give in. He will make a mess with his unavailability down the line because responsibility is actually his greatest fear and that comes online when you reciprocate his feelings and share in his fantasy.

[@TanyaChisholm]

Girl preach! Just got out of a marriage like this. As soon as I told him I wasn’t having sex until it’s an overflow of emotional connection things got crystal clear. Constant disappointment and taking advantage of your empathy…if it weren’t for information like this we’d stay confused for way longer. Thank you!

[@SunnnySkies]

How are you doing now that the relationship is over

[@Priya_B]

Breeny, As of 6.39pm this evening, I was literally laying down, frozen, crying about this, its now just gone 10pm. I was crying because I let it happen to me again, I was there for someone emotionally in a relationship long term despite going through my own stuff-and they were not there for me when I needed them the most tonight. I don’t need a man to provide money, Housing, clothes,bills etc - and I finally thought he would be there for me emotionally -after 3 years of this-And he left me crying on the phone and hung up. No response after. I’m embarrassed to write this and post it but if it helps anyone to feel that they’re not worthless, they deserve better and helps them realise to not waste 3 years of their life for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you- then I’m keeping it up! I had just checked to see if you had uploaded any videos about 3/4 days ago but you hadn’t… Then, as I’m crying this evening I log onto KZbin… And your videos in my feed ! ❤️ I feel blessed it was about the exact subject I’m going through🙏🏽 Thank you for making me feel less alone, realising I should be cared about but also making me realise I can’t keep doing this and I need to take accountability for my own actions in allowing this to happen to me in my long-term relationship. Repeatedly. Its on me.

[@Tebony2]

Sis I'm so sorry and I hope you find the strength you need at this point. Something like this was about to happen to me, he was taking me out on dates, yaddi yadda, going the whole nine yards. It was amazing then after three months, I summoned up the courage to ask him where this was going, and he said he hadn't healed and all this other stuff, i told him that I understand and that was it, i packed myself and left. I have worked too much on myself for some unserious person to take me for a ride. Absolutely not!!!! so next time ladies, please be upfront after 3 months, its better y'all break up after three months than three years.

[@InspiringYoungLady]

Well said and well done@@Tebony2 I would also add - stopping dating exclusively men that have not claimed the relationship and made their intentions clear. Keeping options open and building a rooaster of suitors will help keeping your discernement on and limit disappointment when confronted with reality. - not being physically intimate with men that have not pass the test of emotional availability/safety/reliability and commitment in tangible consistent actions. This also contributes to keeping your discernement on and bounce back faster if he happens to not be the one. All the best !

[@victoriasmith2813]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through the same thing. You do deserve better and I hope you find the courage to leave and realize there’s better out there for you. For us🫂

[@audreyerazo]

You are a strong woman to leave. You worth so much. Look for support through your family and friends I would even encourage to pray God is listening even if you don’t believe but it always brings me peace.

[@lxy2670]

"The wrong person will bring the absolute worst in you". That hits hard and literally opened my eyes. Great video !

[@adayah6772]

20:13 Please don’t sleep with these men… it will hurt them more. Be wise girls, by the 4th date you can really analyze and reflect if the man is emotionally available. An unavailable man will be inconsistent and will have difficulties to reach the 4th week because of all the excuses and lack of emotional support.

[@machelynmarshall4671]

❗️‘That’s not intimacy, that’s offloading’ -Breeny Lee

[@LuckyBambi777]

True. 10 years relationship for me, felt even lonelier than staying single. I was the "burden", the "stress" and my feelings were "dramas". Totally frustrated, left him for good and never look back.

[@quinnterry2834]

That part about being a safe place to a man really resonated. I had someone I cared about a lot and the more I tried to be there, the worse he treated me. Shhiiiddd you gotta be your own peace!! 🥰

[@shalalala868]

‼️‼️

[@guidancetoself2442]

GIRL. I just saw this video at the perfect time thankyou! I was just dealing with a man that had pretty much ALL the qualities of an emotionally unavailable man you describe. He was love bombing me within the first day, telling me he thought I was the one and that I was the perfect one for him and he’s never been with a woman like me and how he “doesn’t deserve” me, even planning trips with me within the next day of us hanging out and everything! He was even telling me about his toxic ex and how he was so hurt and traumatized by her and everything, now I know that it was just trauma dumping to get us to bond. 2 weeks go by and all of a sudden he’s canceled plans on me not ONCE, not TWICE, but 3 TIMES in the span of 2 days. I reach out to ask him what’s wrong and he tells me that it’s about his ex (🙄) and how she still has the key to his apartment???? Long story short, he starts telling me he was pushing me away and canceling plans to “protect me” so that he can “deal with her” and then he’ll “get back to me” essentially telling me to wait for him and basically telling on himself that he wasn’t at all ready for me. Even went to say that he was scared because we were developing feelings and he didn’t want to be attached fast. Can’t believe I was almost stupid enough to believe it, THANKYOU FOR THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART for making this video, he’s now blocked and deleted in the name of God! 🥹😂

[@LY-js7ff]

Girllll what a crazy story, he a clownnnn

[@shalalala868]

Lol yes oftentimes emotionally unavailable behavior is linked to him having feelings to someone from his past. He went back to the familiar toxicity and dysfunction that he’s used to. She probably sniffed around and found out he was into someone new and decided to play mind games and nip y’all in the bud. 99% of the time these situations NEVER work out, so they’re both just wasting their time but you’ll be too busy with an upgrade to be bothered about it.

[@ruchie3461]

He was trying to triangulate you with that ex. It’s done to make you insecure & push you to compete for his love. I’m sure you know the game.

[@janinajochim1843]

God. exhausting.

[@ccgirl2737]

run

[@Riotxu]

I've postponed watching this video since it came out bc I knew I would hit too close to home and didn't want to accept the harsh truth that I've been wasting the last 6 months dating an unavailable man, but now I'm ready to let him go and I'm here to get all the strength I need to do it.

[@sandrasolomon6937]

Watching this video with my aunt and we are both screaaaaaaaming! All i can say is sis....you are doing the Lord's work. Thank u for another great upload.

[@dn-cp6sh]

When we date emotionally unavailable men, we are emotionally unavailable ourselves.

[@phizzy123]

bingo!

[@BreenyLee]

Explain

[@LS-cj8jd]

We are emotionally unavailable to our own selves. And choosing a man who is unavailable because it also protects us from having to be truly intimate with a man.

[@techtactics788]

That's not true.

[@neches.a]

True. We should stop pointing the finger. Ask yourself- why am I attracted to this emotionally unavailable person? Why am I still tolerating bread cumbing? Why am trying to convince him otherwise? Why am I doing all the investments? Point the finger to yourself, it's harder but that's how you do the work

[@shansmith7100]

I’ve been married to one for 16 years and goodness knows I’ve lost myself so much I don’t even know who I am. I keep using the economy as an excuse I’m scared of the unknown but I gotta go. Seems like I’ll never experience life waiting for him to get a clue. What a loss for him cause I loved him like no other.

[@slm1496]

I'm in the same boat, 5 years wasted in this toxic mess and I want out! I have enough money to pay rent but I'm scared because rent is so high and I'll be leaving my security blanket but my mental health can't take no more

[@InspiringYoungLady]

Excellent and very detailed video! Excellent reminder about : trauma dumping, taking, breadcrumbs, gaslighting and the feeing of the relationship being wably. It should be taught in schools! I would also add - stopping dating exclusively men that have not claimed the relationship and made their intentions clear. Keeping options open and building a rooaster of suitors will help keeping your discernement on and limit disappointment when confronted with reality. - not being physically intimate with men that have not pass the test of emotional availability/safety/reliability and commitment in tangible consistent actions. This also contributes to keeping your discernement on and bounce back faster if he happens to not be the one. All the best !

[@princizzraven2000]

You teaching girl! Their heart is somewhere else, point blank period that’s all you need to know to walk away. Do not attempt to find it. Be sober minded, always.

[@kamkarter8821]

So tired of meeting emotionally unavailable men. The last one ripped my heart out earlier this year. Now I am focusing on me and living life to the fullest. Celebrating all closed doors.

[@glamfortheculture5583]

I’m just mad that this video doesn’t have 1 million views, yet. Every young woman should hear this at least one time if I had heard this sooner, I would’ve avoided a lot of mistakes in my life.

[@BenMallah342]

Congratulations 🎊✨ You’ve been selected in my draw. (👆Please send me a message on Telegram x ,so that I can send you your prize).

[@lynetseymour7953]

She’s not describing someone I’m dating….she’s describing my HUSBAND…soon to be ex because of some of the very reasons she talked about! 💔😢😔 I was afraid to listen to this when it popped up in my feed, but I’m glad I did because it confirms my decision.

[@LuckyBambi777]

I feel you. Been there done that, sending you love and courage, walk away and never look back. Being in this kind of relationship is even lonelier than being single anyway.

[@Mia-km7zo]

I’ve just come out of a relationship with a man like this and I’ve realised the sex is the only thing I was holding onto! Really there’s no chemistry there except sex. He’s got a new women now and they’re already toxic, fighting all the time, he’s cheated on her with me behind our back….he’s a broken, insecure man looking for someone to heal him when the only person that can do that is himself. This video has brought me understanding and peace, I’m not the problem he is!

[@LuckyBambi777]

Sex is the only time when you feel that he gives you all his attention. Feeding you breadcrums while he enjoys the bread himself.

[@jennyleighbeauty]

Breeny Breeny Breeny!! This is why when I went to the UK in 2020, I made sure I saw you at one of ur events because you SPEAK FACTS. For one, the whole "be his peace" please preach to the choir!!! When men tell me that, I immediately get turned off and inside I'm rolling my eyes and saying "PLEASE STFU" 🤣🤣 Bc it really is BS. Meanwhile, they stress us out. Be our peace and we'll match it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Secondly " No one's ever too busy" THANK YOU!!!!!! Agree agree agree! Idc what you have going on in your life, people make time for who and what they want to make time for. Period! Another bs thing men love to say. I myself have been with so many emotionally unavailable men, and it's given me alot of heartbreak, anxiety and depression. I've learned to not waste any of my time anymore on men who show me that theyre arent emotionally available. It took time and hardships but I'm done with that. Thanks for this video. I adore you!!!!! ❤️🙏🏻

[@TheOfficialJosey]

Wow, this couldn’t have come at a better time. I literally just ended things with a guy i was speaking to as he claimed to have feelings for me, yet he could not give me what I needed in regards to his time, effort etc. i was never going to wait around for him to change. But after ending things, I went straight to Google to find out if I was analysing his behaviour too deeply, and Google made me believe that my attachment type was “anxiously secure” 🙂 Watching this video has made me realise that I am NOT anxiously secure, I have a very secure attachment type, it’s just that the individual that I was dealing with was not emotionally available for me In the way that I wanted him to be, and that’s okay. Next!

[@lubkayoanidu7061]

This is the most well done summary of emotionally unavailable people and how they can really damage you! It took me a good deal of time to come to the major conclusion that you can't draw water from an empty well! Just leave it be and enjoy your fun, emotional life!

[@princessofproductivity]

"Know your worth and than add tax"... I swear emotionally unavailable men cannot meet the requirements it takes for our love and time 🍵🐸🥰🥰😘 One more time, "know your worth and then add tax"~ og breezy lee xxx

[@ReneeLoves]

Men will do the most to get you. But once they get you they get comfortable and don’t put the effort into the relationship anymore while wanting you to do the most. No. You will get all these excuses making it seem like there is a good reason for their unavailability, E.g. working and chasing money… but your partner and family is just as important and worth putting effort into. At the end of the day, your family will be what you need when all is said and done… not all these other material things.

[@LuckyBambi777]

True, he used all the efforts and time for everything else even cooking was more important than talking to resolve issues in our relationship, I had to swallow all my feelings inside and I was sick of it. Can't imagine I was with him on/off for more than 10 years, that relationship destroyed me and my self esteem, which is already weak due to my family issues.

[@peaceful_and_blessed]

Love this video! I dated a specific unavailable man yesrs ago and he is exactly everything you described. The crazy thing was he knew he was emotionally unavailable and knew i was not happy but he would beg me time and time again to be available for him. And beg me to give him more chances to do pretty much nothing. I got off that roller coaster 3 years ago.

[@chelsealance6645]

I just got out of a 3 year relationship with an emotionally unavailable man. Now he’s with another woman long distance because it’s more convenient for his avoidant ways. I was screaming “f*** yea, right!?” In the car while listening to this. This is all correct! 😂❤

[@carolineA56]

I used to be soooo emotionally available and got hurt by men using my vulnerability against me. Now, if I am brutally honest with myself, I am the one emotionally unavailable, crazy afraid to be played and hurt again. At least I am aware of it! It's a healing process that I am grateful to be in. I truly believe that once I find that equilibrium between being way too emotionally available and not at all, I'll be a magnet to a man who is standing in that sweet spot too. ✨

[@Jodesceneee]

Entertaining an emotionally unavailable man destroys you (speaking from experience… I’m still recovering months later). Great video Breeny - and you look amazing x

[@LuckyBambi777]

Exactly, makes you questioning yourself and thinks that you are not worthy and it ain't true.

[@sashaalexa8518]

this video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. i just ended things with a guy I’ve been talking to since March for these EXACT REASONS!! the only thing is, I didn’t know it was because he was emotionally unavailable, but everyyy one of your points was who he was. my mind is blown. thank you for this confirmation ❤️❤️❤️

[@tiffanivann3725]

Breeny you are 100% CORRECT!! I will never get involved with another emotionally unavailable man..ever again. It’s exhausting

[@ings1203]

Breeny, I have been watching your videos since 2020 trying to find the motivation and strength to leave relationships that make me question my selfworth and stop dating men who use me for their own benefit, these videos I had on repeat for TWO YEARS finally made me open my eyes and Im finally free❤ the bar is no longer in hell, and I havent felt better about myself in a very very long time. Life feels so peaceful and I can expect great things for myself in the future so THANK YOU❤️❤️

[@florence55999]

OMG. What a timing. Just kicked out of my life the most unavailable man a month ago. 2 years of madness. That fool has asked me to meet in a club a month ago at night and he flaked on me. He did even showed up. This was it for me. Bye bye. Thank you Breeny.

[@Isa.esthetics]

I literally so glad I feel validated for the way I was treated in my past relationship. I would bring up issues and he would shred them up and tell me that he has been thru worse. Building myself back up is a challenge but we are working at it. Emotionally unavailable men also don’t have any hobbies besides working out or video games.

[@hanyoo2363]

I always come back to breeny to wake up from trash men, yesterday the guy I've been dating for a month tried to hit me because he said he was jealous I ran away from him. Thank you breeny because I have followed you for quite a while and you made me know what's good for me. PS: this guy was perfect until yesterday and I broke up with him via text message because I was too scared he'll beat me

[@tytea5567]

I love everything about this video! The energy, the humor, the expressions, the facts! You are too much!

[@kinziethe1]

Watching your videos makes me feel like I’m getting advice from the older sister I never had🥰 love you Breeny!!

[@wusrllygoood]

SO GOOD 👏🏻 I married an emotional unavailable man… it made me the neediest, emptiest “wife”. Ladies beware!!!

[@simplyshaun1128]

I can’t even express how much I needed this today. It’s as if you and I have been speaking recently. Thank you so much. 💗

[@NotTodaySatan557]

Oh my god Ms Breeny you are FIERCE in every way!!!! So excited to listen to your wise words and I’m already resonating with the message

[@jasmineh7736]

Girl woooooow!!! This was so good and spot on with a situation I WAS dealing with, he has been cut off but everything you said was spot on this was gem! Thank you

[@katenorfolk2327]

Honestly one of the best videos you've ever made

[@frogiekariable]

Hi Breeny. Love this topic. It really resonated with me. Thank you for bring it up & to remind us women to no longer settle with those unavailable men! You look gorgeus babe!

[@xochidiaz4106]

You ATE THIS TOPIC!!! ❤ I had a lot of mind blowing connections.

[@yanetybanez3301]

This video couldn’t have came at such a perfect time. This is exactly what I’m experiencing, I’m starting to loose myself through the process.

[@ShiraSimone]

Wow, this video was such an eye opener! I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago and all these things sounded like him to a T. I was so frustrated and hurt in the relationship, constantly blaming myself and thinking something was wrong with me 😅 but turns out he's just emotionally unavailable. Still hurts, but I know I did the best I could in the relationship.

[@koroshiya_1]

Your hair is so amazing I can't get over it 😍!!

[@GetUpGetFitGurl]

Girl the glow is real💃🏾 You look great and it’s not just the exterior…. Thank you for your transparency and relatability ❤God bless 🙏🏾🫶🏾

[@ayeshaaden9726]

I want my life to be up up up because I’ve been down down down for years

[@anonamous6320]

You will get there eventually… keep your head up girl

[@BreenyLee]

It’s coming!

[@MB-ui9nw]

Girl!!! I needed to hear this. I literally just ended things with an emotionally unavailable man, and you described everything so perfectly!!! I feel sad, but I love and respect myself more and deserve so much more.

[@BlessedBaeLLC]

Danng Bre emptied the clip on this one and left no survivoes 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👑👑👑Way to teach the signs💯❤

[@amberholloway1397]

You read me for filth . I love you Breeny ✨ I really needed this so bad . I feel free .

[@MsNameGoesHere]

You look amazing Breeny!! Quality video as always!! ❤

[@cherie.camille]

Love this topic! _Mr. Unavailable & the Fallback Girl_ is an awesome resource on this. It helped me see that there was a level of emotional unavailability in me that kept me attracting emotionally unavailable men. I was used to being the fixer, always saw the relationship through rose-colored glasses and was completely fine with long-distance relationships. This book and the follow up _The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship_ were game changers in helping me see my own patterns in relationships. Highly recommend 👌🏾

[@cherie.camille]

@@lf3554 yup! Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have great books on boundaries as well, also on determining who's a safe person

[@cherie.camille]

@Flagirl1985 yes! I'd say it's helped me break the pattern. I'm quicker to notice what it is about a person that intrigues me in an unhealthy way and I'm quicker to shut it down. It's definitely a process of rewiring and being attracted to healthy characteristics that formally may have been considered "boring" or not "exciting." For me, being around like-minded people who are on similar journeys of personal growth and healing has made a huge difference, as those who are not tend to stick out and are immediate turnoffs

[@WhereSheGetsHerConfiDANCE]

This is so ACCURATE! Ur so wise for your years! Congratulations on ur weight loss, healing and 700K baby 🎉

[@TheRealTinaMaria]

This video is bringing me so much healing right now. I really needed every word that you spoke. I really appreciate you and I thank God for using you to help women to get to a place of healing, feeling valued and optimum self-worth

[@justmeja8217]

Love the weight loss on you Sis!! Absolutely gorgeous before and after!!

[@kelsimoore3524]

Welcome back GORGEOUS! You definitely don’t look like what you been through!! ❤ missed listening to you! OMG! You just basically describe someone I been talking to for 5 weeks. I cut him off, he calls and says, “hi stranger” 🤡 ….. Glad I didn’t invest to much time or energy. Love you Breeny! ❤

[@everythingshareable]

Breeny this was the best description of relationships with narcissists. I had the same relationship with my narcissist friend and sister. They are blocked now!

[@Elvira.L.E.]

7:17 this is so true! I’ve been there in my last relationship and I even felt confused like what’s going on? Why there’s so much inconsistency, broken promises, distance etc. and the answer is emotional unavailability ❌ and they truly can’t give you what you need!! It’s a no goer. Thanks for sharing such valuable info with us! ❤

[@preetynass]

Oh lord sis you just saved my soul , May God continue to bless you and give you the power , the knowledge and financial capability to continue doing what you do because some of us do not have that much experience when it comes to relationships and half the time we do not be understanding what’s going on in our situations and then we watch your videos and every thing makes sense. Thank you 🙏🏽 so much for sharing your life and experiences with us all.

[@djpotpourre10]

Thank you Brenny! I promise you always come through with a word when I need it. Going back into myself and taking these emotionally unavailable men off my radar and co tinting to elevate until I am where I want to be and those attached men think twice before approaching me.

[@ThankyouJesus327]

"When you try and help a broken man, you will cut your fingers on the broken pieces" Word💯

[@saracalabasas7926]

Breeny,been watching you since almost day 1. Wanna tell you that you look beyond. All what you say it’s like my mom’s whispers so I know it’s 150% true. Love from Poland!

[@rachaelmcnamara4351]

Breeny, I had to pause this video because i was getting so many realizations and confirmations of what i have felt for a very long time. You gave me the confirmation i needed to write down all these things ive felt and sent them in a break up text because I wouldn’t be able to get it all across another way. Thank you so much. The weight and guilt has been lifted. Thank you.

[@gabambrose6149]

Breeny, I wish this video was released months ago before I invested my time and love into an emotionally unavailable man… it broke me and I’m still healing from it but I learned the lessons from it. I’m not settling for breadcrumbs anymore.

[@princessgigiking]

Congratulations Breeny over 700K, Lady Your Level Is Up 🎉🎉🎉💃💃💃🎉🎉🎉

[@dabest444u]

I turned 20 2 months ago and you are legit the older sister or aunty I’ve never knew I needed but so so glad I have! Thank you Breeny for your content! It really saves me from myself sometimes! I can be very self destructive.. I love you and your content! You’re beautiful! Thankful for all you do!

[@husseinajafiya1446]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Breeny Lee for always dropping these gems at the right time. I have become a high value woman because of the wisdom you share on your channel. You are such a blessing to ALL women ❤

[@kailahfaulkner]

one thing bout breeny lee.. she is going to PREACH 👏🏽 i’m only 25 but I learn so much from you. THANK YOU 🙏🏽

[@ValRosalina]

I'm starting my healing journey by prioritizing how I am feeling and getting more in tune with myself. Loving and accepting every part of my being. And not taking in anything less because I am way more deserving than that. I am a smart, capable woman who is not defined by only beauty, but by my authenticity. I will no longer be dating emotionally unavailable men or men who are toxic. My 2022 was hectic and chaotic for me, due to an ending I've had with man who was the biggest red flag. But now that I am only reflecting through mistakes in my past, it will help me evolve and become the best version of myself.

[@visionairex2539]

Girl, this was absolutely amazing. You hit those points and made it so crystal clear. Thank you!

[@AskNelli]

I’ve been watching your videos for years (since the car shoots!) and I want to say THANK YOU! You’ve really shaped me into a high value woman over the years. I’m extremely grateful I found your channel. Even after years of watching you, I learn something new every time. Your mind is brilliant. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

[@NooniesGarden]

When I tell you this video was right on time !!!!!!! i got rid of 3 in one week. I’m through !!!!. I deserve more. These boys be bugging.

[@roxannemoore4498]

Out of all the emotionally unavailable videos I’ve watched this is the most spot on! Like FR! Every single thing is true. I dated an emotionally unavailable man for two months and it was two months too long. I felt drained for those two months. It’s been a month and I am still recovering. I’m so focused on myself and my future but he left a terrible taste in my mouth! This video is spot on sis! Thank you and have a wonderful day you beautiful beautiful soul ❤

[@SosoRenee]

First of all…you look AMAZING!!!!! 😍I’ve been watching your videos for a little over 2 years now. You’re like my long lost sister!! I love your personality, your femininity, your realness, your spirituality, your honesty, your openness…you’re just amazing. Thank you for always speaking gems and being so transparent. The struggle is real out here when it comes to relationships. 😵‍💫I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons with these men nowadays. I always catch your videos at the RIGHT TIME. I appreciate how you take some time to yourself and regroup when you’re going through. Then come back like…listen ladies!!!🗣Anywho, continue being you and not settling for less!! You deserve a good man that will fulfill all of your wants and needs! Until then keep GLOWING UP!!!😘💕😍

[@dinaadams8746]

God bless you Breeny !❤ I believe god truthfully speaks through you. You helped me get out of a 5 year abusive relationship and also now ending this 8 month relationship with an emotional unavailable guy this video sooooooo spot on it’s crazy!