He Pulls Away? He Won't See This Badass Reaction Coming

[@sharma.sonuofficial]

I don't try to read what's on a guys mind anymore. i expect him to communicate.

[@janetbrode]

Be an adult…communicate…

[@dianalereve5402]

@@aurora5652 😅 hm well...

[@tianiemitchell5692]

True. No one should need to wonder. Communication is very important. And if one has to assume, in any way shape or form then assumed that they were just being busy for family emergencies or something like that. But don't reach out wait for him to reach out to you.

[@briattnybrittany6843]

i wish i could like this comment a million times! that is exactly how i operate. i don't make men read my mind. i open my mouth. i absolutely require the same! none of that guessing bs

[@Afternoon99]

@@aurora5652 not when you communicate too much and he chooses to shut down emotionally

[@kristarrahlee3595]

If he pulls away, give him a push. Let him go.

[@themaggattack]

"Give hime a push" 💀

[@madhuparnii444]

Needed!😂❤

[@zebrastripes3786]

😂 best comment ever

[@SamanthaJames-d4j]

Exactly

[@suzy7773]

Yep 👍 best comment!

[@franwilds145]

If a man wants to spend time with you he's never too busy! I recently met a man who works 12 hours, 7 days a week and we went on 3 dates in one week. If they're interested, they will make time for you ❤

[@MiaK06]

They will in initial stages when all is fresh and new but things will settle with time and that’s perfectly ok. Worst thing one can do then is to get annoyed or upset (mistake I made in past…)

[@KellyHorton-f8h]

That's wonerful❤

[@cutiepi3_patti]

🥹

[@mollymalone3632]

As my Dad would say, "Give them a good lettin' alone.'"

[@elianad2083]

Good for your Dad..so if he has all the answers..why are you on here??

[@aribzhanazhara]

If a man pulls away means he's not your soulmate at all, just let him go, never chase guys who's not worthy, your true man never leaves you.

[@bethhartung6668]

This statement you just made has made such a big difference in my life ❤️

[@_jules86]

Interesting. I actually don’t think this applies to everyone. Some people have things they need to heal from before they move forward and feel ready for a relationship. Pulling away doesn’t always mean a lack of interest. Sometimes it’s a lack of readiness. But with that being said, if it’s right, it will come back together. I never advise people to wait tho.

[@tallgalval5721]

@@_jules86I totally agree with you. So true.

[@faithgoodman8112]

Do not date until you are ready or say I just want to hook up. It’s that easy

[@elianad2083]

Yes..true..but if you can't be vulnerable and have all this advice and answers..then why are you on here??

[@IevaKambarovaite]

*When you feel needy turn to yourself, not him.* I love this!! This is not about playing games. This is about understanding yourself. Why does it bother me so much that he hasn't responded to my message? Am I going to obsess about this or am I going to see this for what it is? You'll never have to chase the person that's meant for you. Love your videos. Always a great inspiration!

[@luce_yliu7524]

awesome thoughts

[@joannelau1597]

💯

[@jenniperkins4260]

I agree w you everything except he’ll always chase you. This is tricky bc most men I know have such lil self confidence and often want the women to chase

[@sharlafenwick4056]

Why is being needy wrong? People can go thru bad seasons & don't have to pretend all is fine. There's no shame in being alone. Being single & independent isn't needy... it's actually strength & self sufficient. Be honest & proud!

[@windstennotsukai]

Pulling away is not a big deal and doesn't mean it's the end of a relationship either. But a grown man needs to know how to speak, so when he comes back around just firmly and lovingly lay that on him. Simple. Meantime, live your life. This is YOUR life, enjoy it, every moment. Any second spent worry-warting is a waste. Having that kinda unbothered and respect-for-self energy speaks volumes.

[@DesertShadowWarriorQueen]

This is an awesome comment thank you

[@amandaclark2340]

Thx for reaffirming my thought n reminding me...I know what I'm doing 😂😉 💛💫💚

[@elianad2083]

Umm.. okay..good for you! So..if you can't be vulnerable and be authentic, have all the answers then why are you on here??

[@gs2960]

Finally, someone not suggesting the "how to get his interest back" strategy. I love the "not being manipulative" approach. Thank you so much! Life is not about playing games!

[@janettejanners7714]

I’ve been in relationships with several toxic and controlling men, and he’s right, chasing ppl doesn’t work. After a bad break up 15 years ago, I really took a look at my life and made drastic changes, I was unhappy in my job, broke, wasn’t really taking care of myself, so I changed things one step at a time, a year later I had a new career, was earning better money, had new friends and was hitting the gym 4 times a week, I used the breakup as a ‘break through’ and it changed my life for the better 🌈🌈🌈

[@beecat9951]

👏👏👏

[@sandrinem4281]

So great inspiration. Thanks

[@samtula5946]

YAS QUEEN 🙌

[@wendygoddard6610]

Amen I’m going through that now only it wasn’t just a relationship it was my husband who left me for another woman

[@KayCee45617]

This gives one reason to hope. Thank you for this

[@dd-ccds]

for me, if a guy pulls away becomes he’s busy esp, but for any reason, he should communicate and let you know what’s going on as a sign of respect. whether you just started dating, have been dating for a while, or any time. i treat people with respect and want to be treated the same in return. this is setting boundaries. anything less will erode the relationship. no one should have to endure guessing games. common courtesy has been lost in our world. it’s inexcusable.

[@sharicoburn5475]

100% agree

[@kimberlyf4888]

Yes, and then when he does this you know he's not the guy for you. The quicker you can get to that point, the better.

[@susanw7924]

Absolutely 💯

[@travanavanover7435]

Exactly how I feel people are making it ok for these men to treat women with no respect. When things are going wonderful and the last time y’all was together was great and then your ghosted for a freaking month & society is on their side cause something is wrong with you. No it’s the MFer that just ghosted you cause he’s an ass keep it real people.

[@susanw7924]

@@travanavanover7435 Amen!

[@MonaHernandez-vk5mr]

When a man pulls away then you know what kind of person he really is

[@real_hello_kitty]

Right.

[@elianad2083]

Well..not always. He might have problems at work.. problems with a co-worker..didn't get the promotion he wanted..got into an argument with a family member. Best thing to do is just ask! "I feel you are distancing a bit, would you like to talk about it?"

[@kimharris3491Luciddreamer]

The thing is, why can't you talk to men about being straight with us? Of course it instils fear and insecurity when a man starts pulling away or ghosting as its now known, why is it always the women having to have coping strategies??? Why can't they grow up and be honest and confront the situation?? So sick of hearing 'a woman must do this and a woman must do that' why can't men learn to behave properly? Why is society still encouraging misogynistic behaviour???

[@Isabelmaryj]

Absolutely this!

[@Missybella92227]

Right!!! And they say women are difficult and drama. Some males like playing mind games. Why not be upfront and honest?

[@eileenmcguigan1812]

Completely agree Men are just becoming real assholes in these times.

[@TheShavedleggs]

Women, please! Why you always have to be so self centered and take down men? It might be, that your dream men already had their hearts broken, been abused by the previous women. Don't blame yourself, don't blame your men, instead blame the crazy women - and men - outthere who are dangerous to the community. A dog bit me once, now I am afraid even of the dogs who are smiling at me and wagging their tails. Be good women and show your men how to trust again. But don't even think about turning into a villain dog again, not for a little bit. Men already had villain dogs, don't forget this. Don't wish A and do B, be reflective all the time. We men have feelings too. But in the evolutionary context, men had to hide them during fight, battle, hunt or catastrophies, so men are good at not expressing them properly. The only space, where men were allowed to express their genuinely intimate desire, has always been in their caves or a secret spot, during mating time. This was during evolution. Today we live in revolution and globalization. Men are allowed to do nothing anymore, everything is wrong they do, they are loosing their maculinity slowly. Please women, gather in the streets, hold up signs that say: We want good and nice men back! Show them! Tell them! Seduce them! Thank you!

[@christinewyndham-woodroffe9422]

Totally agree with everything you said!

[@loredanamunteanu5834]

When you meet the right person...everything becomes easy...

[@maceyr.6583]

Um, nope? Lol.

[@briannelineback1636]

Ummm.... No, EASIER... but not easy! But relationships aren't supposed to be totally and completely easy. There should be some challenging times so you both can grow, and if it's the right person you'll grow together and your relationship will only get stronger! And BTW, if it's too easy, it's probably fake...

[@LakshmiSilverqueen]

I care a damn, women can live without a man, bullshit,

[@ImaginationTravelTips]

I know what you mean. It doesn’t mean because everything is easier that this is the right person, but I agree, if they are the right person, no need for fear or games.

[@loredanamunteanu5834]

@@ImaginationTravelTips right ✅️

[@get_aclue4218]

“He matters as much as a worn out toothbrush “ ❤

[@mayohsetsuna]

One year into a great relationship and he’s suddenly pulling away. I keep listening to this ep periodically, it soothes me and prevents me from being the needy person I probably would have become. And reminds me that its not the end of the world, something good can and will come out of this.

[@ellabella7071]

How many more years do you want to listen to this guy whilst being in a commited relationship. He's using you.

[@mayohsetsuna]

@@ellabella7071 You kidding me! 😹 The advice in this video was perfect - he came right back after a cooldown. I had been smothering. Exactly what Brian Nox warns of - I also got ahold of some of his books. No relationship is perfect! But the advice of this video came at the perfect time.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@mayohsetsuna Great to hear that!😸Did you take him back? What happen then?

[@iad.s.8256]

Are you still together? How’s it going?

[@mayohsetsuna]

Thanks for the concern! Yes, still happily together. He jokes that I was “overreacting” to his desire for a cooldown - which I think only reinforces the advice of the video.

[@fallonb2362]

I just match his efforts. If he makes an effort, I make an effort. If he doesn’t make an effort, I put my effort somewhere else. Advice: find something you love besides the opposite sex. For me, it’s my guitars. When I find myself looking at his moldy breadcrumbs, I refocus. I just give all my attention to my electric and shred all my insecurities through my fretboard, like a paper shredder. After about an hour, any trace of him is gone from my mind and I feel like an extreme badass. It’s a great way to boost my confidence and it minimizes the urge to ask him for an explanation. So find something that makes you realize you’re too awesome to be ignored and you may even realize that you’re also too awesome for him. *and if that fails, go listen to Good As Hell by Lizzo.

[@elianad2083]

So if you are giving advice..and can't be authentic and vulnerable..and have all the answers..then why on Earth are you on here..

[@jailinecornejo2376]

It hurts when you invested in a relationship. 💔

[@skuggensdam13]

The timing on this was perfect. A man I'd been becoming a close friend with has started ignoring me recently. I've been really upset about it because we'd been getting along fine. I'm glad I decided to just leave him alone.

[@witnesslightmelody]

hey same here. How are things with you now? I'm facing this currently :( i actually blocked him but then he found me, and told me not to unblock. But...he's not texting like he usually does

[@KayCee45617]

Omg this is happening with me now

[@Meyouletsgo]

Same 😮

[@ItsMe-xr8ju]

You literally saved my mental health right now..right here at 1am..I will definitely wake up a new lady

[@31Alden]

The man who is right for you will want to be WITH you - period! Brian, this is one of, if not THE most salient and important videos you’ve produced. Many thanks.

[@desertrose111]

Love the analogy. Get a life and do nothing, if bad wine it will expire, if good wine it will just ferment and will taste even better with time. The wine stands for this connection. I would also add that he has to come back CORRECT, not just come back to repeat the same hot and cold cycle again. The most dangerous guys are often not the ones who doesn’t come back, but the ones that come back and leave and repeat same thing to waste your life. If you are attracted to this kind of guy, you might have addiction to the emotional inconsistency and confuse trauma bond with love.

[@libralady1780]

I needed to read your last sentence twice ~ it makes perfect sense! Thank you.

[@truenorth7949]

well if they do come back, which in my experience they most always do, it's up to YOU whether you allow them back or not. If they lack respect or cross boundaries, they are done.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

If he pulls away...leave him

[@Seraphina93]

*be

[@madhusweetprof]

U don't wanna lose him but at d same time u don't wana lose ur self. So true!

[@clarisset7948]

I'm going through this. I've been seeing him for a month, and there was a strong chemistry and connection right away. We went on dates and had good times. He suddenly started to pull away and wasn't showing any enthusiasm for hanging out, but he still communicated daily. The communication is a little different than it was. No emojis, no kissy faces, winks, etc. At first, I panicked and wanted to reach out calmly and communicate how I noticed he's pulled away and ask why that was? If he's losing interest or going through something. I put a stop to that throught and started looking online on advice and videos. Now I'm feeling good, actually, and I've decided not to reach out to him and let him be, and if he keeps messaging me, I'll respond. I've decided to give it a month, and if he keeps reaching out but still the same attitude and not initiate or showing enthusiasm for meeting, then I'll bring it up. I'm patient, but I'm not going to be strung along for months for nothing. Who knows, maybe in this month I might find out I don't even want to continue with him or I'll get over him. Who knows.🤔

[@OctoganicAngel]

This sounds exactly like the guy I just broke it off with. Is his name Greg 😂

[@SpaQueenRocks]

Can I get an update on the situation? What happened?

[@Tankthebest]

Yes. Update please

[@elenap2215]

what happened now?

[@c.c.3.3.3]

Can we get an update!?

[@blivion]

I really needed this. Feeling quite embarrassed and sad by the possible reasons he is pulling away. My knee jerk reaction is to fix this situation and I can't. I need to just let go💔😢

[@PurpleKittens619]

I needed to hear this. I was going to call him after a day of no contact. Its hard to be strong but then i thought why am i contacting him so much? I thought men liked the chase. But a man wont chase what he doesnt want

[@libralady1780]

...and a man won't chase you, if he's being chased ~ Why would he? Don't de-value yourself. Keep strong.

[@mariapap8962]

In the past, two major relationships i had that didn't have a "happy end", really took a heavy toll on me. But i recently lost my beloved dad, my very favourite person, and i have to learn to live with that. The pain of such a loss doesn't compare to anything . From now on i see relationships in a completely different light. Anyone that happens to exit my life from now on (be it a partner, friend or whomever) will cost me much, much less, if anything at all, compared to the loss of my father., So, they're free to go. I'll even hold the door open for them so as to make sure it shuts well after they leave. I really have no (more) patience for individuals that don't know what they want, fail to see my value or are into games and wasting my time.

[@nicolewinters]

Oh

[@beecat9951]

So sorry for your loss, take care. Thanks for a grounded perspective

[@1LaOriental]

Love and healing for you! 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼

[@LARichyAmber]

I so align with ur text i am so sorry for ur precious loss i also lost my dad recently and its a hard experience.. wish u a all best

[@mariapap8962]

@@beecat9951 ❤️

[@jelizabethpetrie6656]

Who the heck wants someone who doesn’t value you…obviously your fantasy of them is better than the real deal✌️💃💃💃💃💃

[@sharlafenwick4056]

People with high self esteem confront people who treat them badly for no reason. Speak your mind & let them know you're not their fool.

[@Seraphina93]

That’s true, but be ready to lose them!

[@barbaradiaz345]

Yeah that's true. But then they can't handle the truth. And use their special weapon of choice. Called the Silent 🤫 🙊 treatment. Ooh 👎 makes me so angry 🤬.

[@wendysimmons6280]

Yep! Cause we don't tolerate bs. Thank you for posting this. ❤

[@bellabriggs1393]

Wrong !!! People with high self esteem just leave , without any confrontation! Just leave , period .

[@creatureofstyle]

I agree. I communicate because I know that's the right thing to do and a little part of me thinks someone needs to teach these losers how and adult functions lol

[@Honeycombe88]

Some excellent advice here! I like this guy. Spot on with the man I've been dating, who recently did more than just a pullback this time. He's pulled away numerous times. This last time was far worse than the other times. I'm pleased that I handled it almost exactly like Brian Nox said to. I didn't contact him at...all. Then when he contacted me out of the blue, I replied with a short but polite response that he needs to stay away from me, now. I listed the things he'd recently done, and said I've wasted enough time with him and "no more." I meant it, too. It breaks my heart. But I can't continue seeing someone who treats me that way. He was only contacting me to see if I was still on the hook. No, I'm not.

[@Seraphina93]

Mh

[@deloresgrey2260]

Excellent advice. I get so many messages how to make him chase you, addicted to you, fear losing you...etc. I'm not going to do it regardless who's sending me these messages. I stated what I needed and that's that. If he can't pick up the phone and talk, I'm not playing anymore games. Evidently, I was wrong so I've been blessed with the gift of goodbye. Thank you for this advice. 😊😊😊

[@danap4840]

when a man leaves me all i say is thank you.

[@danap4840]

@John Model I wish I could whatsup God and ask him why he did this to me.

[@ellengrace4609]

Brian, you’ve done it again! Everything you said is spot on! I am currently in a relationship and for the first time I don’t have the anxiety and fear of losing him. It may be because he doesn’t do things that inspire fear, or it may be because something in me has changed. I can’t quite put my finger on it. All I know is this is the way relationships are supposed to be. There are times he is less responsive, but it doesn’t bother me because I somehow know there’s some reason for it and he isn’t pulling away. A relationship of calm, peace, and contentment. Who knew it was possible?! 😂

[@fairpoet81]

That sounds lovely, Ellen, and very healthy. Congrats to you! 🙌

[@danicaharley6273]

This man is serious about your future together and wanting harmony in the relationship

[@aurora5652]

Congrates ✨

[@jacqw4695]

I need to come back here and listen to this, but also to read your post! Thank you for reminding me that not all relationships are war zones, made to make us feel miserable.

[@beecat9951]

This is so great to hear ❤

[@pradiptadutta9300]

The way you explain these things in a kind way is so soothing to hear. It’s calming and relieves one’s insecurities. It’s like having a friend talk, only much wiser!

[@siriusakari6729]

Am going through something similar and I have to say this advice is countertuitive because it is in my nature to want to reach out and ask what went wrong or how we can get back on track again. But I have decided to fave my own fears of abandonment and rejection instead. I reached out once to find out how he was and he seemed distant and closed off and so I decided to.let it go and move on with my life. There is just a sense of peace that comes over me when I realise that I have no control over someone's actions and emotions, the only thing I can control I my own feelings and actions. This is a choice I have to make for myself too not just him. Thank you for the advice Brian, it just gives me clarity.

[@sharonjacksonwhite6907]

I agree with you.

[@sweetvonbettie1]

Im exactly the same way! I contact them as well.. just to see .. n well after that if nothing. I just let go

[@earthsign6305]

Hi... Brian. Thanks for such lovely videos. I recently, gave myself closure by simply apologising to a guy i was involved with who suddenly chose to be distant with me or decided to bread crumb me. After, trying to work things out and i realized what he was doing. I told, him i am sorry if i offended him in anyway. And i wished, him the best things life has got to offer. And i haven't reached out to him since then. I think, men needs to start learning how to treat women respectfully. It is wrong to ignore, gaslight, or ghost, a person without telling them what they did to deserve such mean and harsh treatment. We need, videos that will tell men how to treat women and what women really like.

[@taraelmegreen5527]

What a beautiful way to say it!! "Trusting your destiny, being the BEST version of u!!" Recognizing the best me...the wrong guy that pulls away wont b the right guy! Ty!❤❤

[@netpunk5890]

I’m glad you compared him to a worn out toothbrush. I threw his out the other night and it was the main thing that turned the tide in my resilience, as small as that act may have seemed, it was a commitment to myself.

[@adeanl0]

these videos have been very helpful for me as a “separated/soon to be divorced” woman who has been blindsided by a crush I wasn’t looking for. It’s helping me navigate and process feelings I didn’t expect to have at this stage of life 😅 Thankyou

[@PinkCrystalTea]

Thank you, Brian! Everything you said resonated with my situation. I am staying cool calm and collected, and doing what is right for me, and I feel a sense of harmony. Before this video, I cried many days in private to resolve my feelings for him on my own, and it's been tough, but I'm proud of myself. I am naturally and finally moving on,

[@gemmahart3985]

The problem is that whether you keep silent or say sth - you are still in the same frustrated energy. It won’t change much on its own, yes you can focus on your life but what if you are not able - what if there is a massive open loop that drains your energy. That needs a closure. Silence may even harm you. If he is so selfish and gives mixed communication l’d choose sth that helps ME. If being silent harms me, I won’t settle with that, I’d say what I think firmly, close all open loops and move on. What he thinks of me I don’t care honestly :) if it pushes him further away, even better. It will make it easier for me to heal and find someone else.

[@Lifelens214]

Hi Brian, around 4-5 years ago when my relationship of 8 years ended the guy left me, of course I also have some fault in it but I never understand why in just one day he was able to just decide to leave even if we have a son together. Your videos were the ones who helped me move on, inspired me and I learned a lot from. I just want to say thank you for your help and more power and success!!!

[@gtorr47]

SOME things are best left unsaid.... Needed this, thank you 💗💗💗💗

[@annemme]

"Why it isn't working??" 😂😂😂❤❤❤ the fact is, boundaries are important. Sometimes we have to say "no, you're wrong"

[@clairexxx0405]

Thank you for another wonderful video 🤗 When we get over emotional we do all those things & then it gets worse & worse.... The last thing in our heads at that moment, which is fact is .... If he's the right Man for us it will be ok & at a later time we will work it out. My heart rules my head & it gets me into many a muddle... Thank you 💯🙌

[@sayeedakhan5033]

Truth is inconvenient.. But yeah, this is it. The reality. Very well said dear Brian. Love your efforts to educate us and relationships

[@sophrosyne5900]

When a man goes cold and distant - let him freeze. I dont let men waste my time ! I know when a man wants me , there is nothing he wont do for me , and he is eager and all about me . Anything less, isnt worth a second thought . Dont entertain games and know your worth ladies .❤

[@elianad2083]

Okay..but..if you have all the advice and answers to relationships then..why are you on here?

[@sophrosyne5900]

@elianad2083 Speaking from experience so nobody has to learn from my errors. 💁

[@candicek.4659]

Brian, Huge appreciation for your videos. You are truly empowering women to recognize their own worth and sovereignty and help us de-program from centuries of social and cultural expectations that women are inferior, unequal, we should subvert our own identities, suppress our own wishes, wants and needs in a relationship to defer to the man’s wants and needs at the expense of their own. This is so ingrained in U.S. culture (especially in the South and many Latin American countries) that many of us go our entire lives without knowing what disrespect and mistreatment even looks like. You are doing Divine Work here on Earth. Thank you😇 ❤ 💫

[@jilross4892]

Most attractive is being authentic always. Even if calling someone out, thats fine too. Good people can take it

[@purepelican8972]

Ghosting is the height of rudeness and passive aggression. What about sending a text that says 'I'm disappointed that you have ghosted me'. Call out the behaviour.

[@munix9351]

Because he knows its bad behaviour. How you react to him when he returns is what you have to focus on!

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Better yet to forget about him.and move on.

[@faridaaali6170]

​@@wyleecoyotee4252not that easy

[@real_hello_kitty]

He might not cares. He might respond, I am too busy, I have no time for love, etc..

[@elianad2083]

Don't let him see you had a reaction. Don't let them see you sweat. Best thing to do is nothing. Calling out his behavior..why..? He doesn't care. If he does this to you..think of all the other women he has done this too.

[@mayapanayotopoulou6645]

Very helpful advise thank you Brian I was about to confront him but it’s not worth it , I wil sound needy ! Thank you for being to the point and clear 👌hearing you from Greece 💙

[@Lilith-9223]

I think the future of humanity is no romantic relationships at all...

[@kshamaaghamkar2096]

😢 that was deep and sad

[@CB-ln2eb]

I do as well.

[@evat2945]

Isn’t it how babies are made (and kept alive - I precise « kept alive » because hostile environments can affect people in a suicidal way) ? How could there be a « future of humanity » without babies being made and kept alive ?

[@Lilith-9223]

@@evat2945 I meant romantic relationships, not sexual relationships.

[@evat2945]

@@Lilith-9223 I understood that, that’s why I added « kept alive ». Sexual relationship are not enough to keep babies alive, but the tenderness, love, support (and all those sweet other things) we can find in romantic relationships can definitely help in that area.

[@LupaDomina]

You are in danger of becoming co-dependent and wrecking your entire life as he sails off into the sunset - usually with someone else. This guy is talking sense. Walk away. It shouldn't even need to be said.

[@danap4840]

he is too busy for me. i will just let him be and do what he wants when he wants. there is no point in fighting him on this. fighting brought us no where. i gave up, not going to leave him, not going to change him. he keep saying how much he loves me but i truly dont know if he really loves me i don't feel loved. i tell myself i should pretend he is just a friend.

[@findpurpose6300]

Where do things stand now? Are you mentally in a better place?

[@danap4840]

@find purpose I wish it wasn't so hard. I don't think love is enough.

[@findpurpose6300]

@@danap4840 I was for almost 4 years in a long distance relationship with a narcissist, he was cheating and lying, taking advantage of me and I understand that it's hard to let go. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is definitely very hard on us, hard for our mental health and affects all aspects in our life. When things ended with him, I didn't want live anymore, I was in a dark place, didn't understand why this always happens to me. However about 18 months have passed since the break up. The break up now feels like a blessing. I don't worry anymore about being cheated on. I don't worry about being taken advantage off anymore. I see the qualities in myself that I put into a relationship with a man that absolutely wasn't worth fighting for. It takes time to let go of a person, but once you overcome it, you will wish you let go much earlier. A guy that doesn't value you, that doesn't appreciate being with you and that doesn't make plans with you to move forward and doesn't support you, is not worth keeping around. Let him go, free yourself. Love yourself and build yourself a life you love on your own. And be open when the right one for you comes. 🙂

[@danap4840]

@find purpose I am so sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. I am glad to know you're in much better place now and I wish you to find real love and bliss. Thank you for sharing this painful experience with me. I love him so much I still hope we can make this work some how. I might be very deluded. You are a very strong woman you deserve to be loved and happy. All the best to you.

[@jflsdknf]

Why can't they be expected to change this behavior for us? Pulling away is not healthy. Why do we always have to change for them?

[@ymctjmt]

I would never leave one of your videos early cuz I love when you thank us for staying 😀

[@dianarossel7315]

Thank you! This really gives me more insight and a secure feeling to trust life . Instead being needy . I pushed him away.😔 If he is meant for me. He will come back.

[@priyankamarriapm5282]

First someone show they want u then pull u away i still can't get a closure 😵‍💫

[@Manal6195]

Girls.. love him as you never loved before and forget him as men forget

[@elianad2083]

Huh??

[@Manal6195]

@elianad2083 Yes.. As you do😁

[@katja-2kat.s]

This video is gold! It's your absolutely best video and one of the best relationship videos out there.

[@Eva-193]

This is good - have listened to many coach teachers about relationships and this guy here is really the best

[@aguona6077]

Brian mentioned the power dynamics when reaching out to someone who is pulling away to say that you are moving on. I think it is important to understand why you are doing that. If it is just a manipulation to get his attention back, it is wrong and it won't last or be a healthy relationship. But in my opinion "giving the power away" is reasonable to draw a boundary, say that this kind of behaviour is not ok for you. At this point I would not expect anything from the guy. I am sticking to my boundary and it actually makes me feel better because I know that he isn't up to my standards. And consistency is is the bare minimum. I wouldn't mind looking a bit more vulnerable and less powerful in this situation. My boundaries will show my power if he tries to actually test it.

[@hillaryh.5197]

I love how you focus on quality of life ❤️

[@Stellarchick]

It's time to move on. Don't try to force it. You are only losing what you never had.

[@elianad2083]

Not that easy. It takes time to grieve and get over the loss of a love. Anyone who can just "move on" needs to go to the E.R. because they are dead inside.

[@sammuis01]

"don't reach out to him.... turn within" ❤

[@isabelleella7623]

That’s not always accurate I am tired of these strategies.. honestly when you are in a mature relationship you have to grow and heal and be able to tell the truth to the one you love. At some point you learn to love yourself enough to not run after someone else.

[@siriusakari6729]

I think sometimes we expect people to be perfect and just be able to communicate directly. But people are different and one thing am learning is that when someone pulls away it hurts because we feel abandoned and rejected but Brian is right, this is an opportunity not to focus on them but to look within and deal without own fears. Let them go figure out what it is they want when nd if they come back then that is the perfect time to have a conversation about why they dropped off the radar without coming across needy or angry. It is at this point you can ask for clarity and it also allows you the chance to decide if you want to carry on dating them or not and who knows whilst they are busy ignoring you, you could actually meet o the men that can replace the ghoster. Sometimes we just have to be willing to let go of people and situations that are not serving us.

[@dolores2022]

The only option should be. MOVE ON

[@elianad2083]

Not that easy..I hate it when people say that.

[@dolores2022]

@ to me it is

[@butterflygoddess2436]

You are truly a wonderful coach! I love how you talk about focusing on ourselves. Some coaches talk about manifesting your ex back, but the truth as hard as it is to accept, why are we creating affirmations about how much our ex wants us back? Isn’t that manipulation? Thank you for reminding us to get ourselves back and focus on us! And how about turning ourselves and getting “clarity”

[@hushjenn]

Of all the "pulling away" videos, this one is the best ❤

[@confusedwhynot]

I watched the trainwreck and backed away. I didn't want to follow him down the path he had chosen. He is now gone after over 30 years of marriage. I couldn't trust him!

[@rasaperkunas1722]

Brian Nox is the man to slap you back into reality when you want to text THAT guy. I'm still single, but at least I am not reaching out anymore. Yayyyyy

[@jasmineandrose9136]

I seriously needed this today, thank you 😢

[@anitchlikadze3451]

,,Trust the process''👍

[@CB-ln2eb]

Oh my another gem. "A bad wine will never taste great".🙌

[@madhusweetprof]

Also if someone is going to be busy he o she should communicate clearly. For eg I often tell my frends that acedemic Audit is coming to my college next week so I ll b v busy next 7 days. Don't count me in etc .Why can't pple say it clearly

[@shrutimishra1535]

It was truly eye opening ✅️

[@vivalafrance9547]

a soundbite from another video about Stoicism says: "Respect for distance teaches that sometimes silence is the best Answer" and "Silence is a powerful tool for dealing with rejection" which resonates with what Brian is saying.

[@Iamsettlingintowealth]

My toxic trait: He pulls away. I start dating others. You don’t get to ignore me and still have me to yourself.

[@elianad2083]

If you have the answers..why are you on here??

[@ambivert1749]

I stuck till the end of the video and watched an Ad without skipping because that's the least I can do to you for helping me out.🙇🏻 It's the sarcasm in between for me 😂

[@hridzhridu696]

I really love the way you convince the things and motivate us to bring back the self love & respect.. After all we are on our own.. Sometimes we'll be forgetting those.. But this is a good video which remind us to wake up and do our things.. let's educate ourselves self priority is an important thing too..

[@avelinadivinia_raphael]

Fantastic 💗 This was always my idea and thank you for making people aware.

[@JaneDurkin-ys6gg]

Truth! Thank you for your words of wisdom!

[@oliviaduarte7056]

Absolutely loved this video. One of your best for me so far. It helped me

[@elizabethr4107]

I broke up w my ex bc he was so needy. I got busy w my parents visiting me and he lived in another town was so scared and angry that I was not reaching out and responding enough. It was so unreasonable to me that he cld not simply wait for a few days for my schedule to normalize. He was certain I was no longer interested. And bc he proved himself so needy I wasn't.

[@ninaowusuaa502]

did you communicate to him that you had your parents over and that you are so busy

[@real_hello_kitty]

Yeah, did you tell him about your parents, or you just ignore him? Because people do not know unless you tell him what's going on in your life.

[@lopezzz.annie31]

You’re the one at fault tbh. You should’ve talked to him about it.

[@Raquelle7777]

I totally agree with this . Facts !! Listen up ladies x

[@kansasx23x]

Omg I've never hated and loved a video as much as this video. I feel like you have been watching my life. Thank you.

[@taleandclawrock2606]

Oh god this is so relatable. And so painful.

[@mlovespring7892]

I really need to hear this today - going through it!!! My heart is shattered. I have never felt about anyone as I do with him. I thought he was the one for me, but he seem to pull away and said he’s busy and struggling with work. If he loose interest, why can’t he just said so??? Don’t know if I should be understanding or let go is the worse pain. 😢😢😢

[@VelmaPickens]

"DAMN".. maturity is a "MUST"..😮

[@QCDoggies]

Great advice, you break it down so well. Thanks so much.

[@Jojo-yb3kg]

Seems like the onus is on the woman to be the "strong" one in the relationship. Humans (regardless of their sex/gender) are by their very existence weak. If she's being the "strong" one in order to get back a dithery, undecided, scared-to-commit man, then is he really worthy of her love (or even time) in the first place? None of all this is rocket science really. Just my opinion.

[@dianalereve5402]

i agree.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

No the man is not worth it. All these efforts. She should just leave him

[@vickykale3304]

I'm happy I'm learning here...but I have made so many of these mistakes I wish I can go back and do it better, I feel angry I didn't act like a high value woman I was.

[@Isabelmaryj]

This guy had probably acted "needy" himself at times. We shouldn't beat ourselves up. Relationships are messy.

[@katwilliams9483]

What is it in a man’s life, from childhood to manhood, that makes him inconsistent, or oblivious, in his relationships with women? He was successful in getting a woman interested in him but then stops communication? He won her attention. Why does he disappear/ghost with no communication?

[@walkertranger5746]

Women do it to. The problem is a lack of communication. The inability to communicate effectively because of attachment styles and psychological issues. Experiences in life, from childhood to current adulthood has a huge affect on social /interpersonal relationships. Some are fearful/dismissive avoidants and some suffer from BPD or NPD. Its really very simple - Be nice. Be thoughtful , be considerate , be patient , be transparent and positively vulnerable.

[@a.d.b535]

​​@@walkertranger5746 If what you say is true, then what's going on with a man who was in a 30 year marriage (ended in divorce and she has since died)? He lost his mom early, raised by a step mom, managed to stay married for 30 years, but seems to ghost me and disappears although he says he loves me and calls me his GF.

[@siriusakari6729]

Nowadays they have to many options and they just can't pick one woman and focus on that. My last couple of dates have been like this. I go on awesome dates the chemistry is there but the men never want to convert those dates into commited relationships they want the benefit of having someone to talk to, stroke their egos, give them sex, but keep things casual. It's tiresome, you can be the greatest catch but they just want to be able to come and go as they please. So far the best advice I have received is put into any relationship as the other person is putting. If they text, call and make plans to see me regularly then I will reciprocate. If they act shady and they appear to be putting little to no effort then I reflect that behaviour too. I dont bother asking why they are not texting i just keep things moving. It has made life less complicated.

[@a.d.b535]

@@siriusakari6729 Meet widowers. They can be very solid men who are used to a steady relationship, one that didn't end due to drama or disagreements. They don't like the modern dating scene and are more mature and willing to be honest.

[@a.d.b535]

@@HeLpLOstGOdAny1 You're right that you can't rely on these videos to resolve complicated personal matters.

[@MiglenaStancheva]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I needed to hear your message today!

[@TaheerahA]

This is the best video on this topic that I've had come up in my feed. Really well articulated

[@scarlettfrancesca]

I definitely appreciated this video, thank you. I'm constantly dealing with inconsistent communication, effort and investment. It gets really obnoxious, frustrating, and heartbreaking to deal with this so much. It seems to be the majority of people I interact with, no matter where I meet them, their age, background, passions or life choices.

[@sharicoburn5475]

Guys are getting very bad advise or learned behavior on how to treat women. Any man (or woman) who goes silent for any reason, leave them behind. Period. They are emotionally damaged people who will do nothing but bring you heartache.

[@susane945]

I love you Brian!! You're so right! You have such a great sense of humour too. 😊😊🌸🌠

[@Romainelettucetuxe]

I'll stand for what's right for me. He can communicate or he can go away. he can be who he is and stay away. He can say he's thinking or confused or he can stay apart. He can describe why work is busy and stressful and about due dates /deadlines, or he can stay at a distant and I'll do my own thing. A man, a guy who can't communicate doesn't value me. So he can stay Away.

[@grandmatee97]

I just love you Brian Nox! I love your humour and making us laugh at ourselves with great advice! Thank you!

[@GoodBodyJay]

I feel like you’re the brother I needed. Thanks bro ❤

[@aristeakriki9326]

Thank you very much!!! You're offering valuable help!!! ☺️