6 Ways men regret losing the women they rejected

[@smores8982]

In my experience, most men come back and initiate contact again (usually anywhere between 1-4 months post breakup) and it is not because they truly love you. They are either bored, can’t find anyone else and need to be preoccupied for the time being, need an ego boost or miss the perks/assets of being with you. And they’re not even telling you they want to get back together. They simply want to keep that door open by breadcrumbing you with inconsistent contact and useless “how have you been?” small talk. More importantly, you’ll notice he isn’t actually putting forth any effort asides from sending a few texts. Move on and don’t let them keep their foot in the door.

[@mirianakovachevic748]

A lot of women share similar stories here. It looks like girls lost ability to choose right. It is way better not to date anyone than date wrong guy. But now women like to test men, to go on date after date etc. It won't help you to choose right, things are only getting worse. You'll have situation of ex boyfriend calling you again when you shouldn't be in relationship, never. Men feel when they are with such women and reject after using them, sometimes they return and why not ?

[@madj7152]

This is 100% accurate. Going through it right now. I cant move on because he keeps coming back but only wants sex, nothing more. I end up feeling like shit the next day because I felt like I was used.

[@12567NoYouCannot]

You are Right; males are nothing about male Ego.

[@JosianneUK]

After 4 months…. I don’t really care anymore 😅

[@donnab8345]

I see you've experienced this, the same as I have. Except I mistook his intentions when he'd call again after a while.

[@aneia6353]

I’m sick and tired of everyone in general.

[@nyokabithuo8532]

Me too,trust me

[@bloodbuddy7]

Same

[@Jay-iw4gg]

Seriously. I wanna debate the guy who said no man is an island unto himself. I could live the rest of my life completely alone. I'd like to have my dogs but if not, I really think I'd be ok never seeing or speaking to anyone again.

[@RituXV]

Me too

[@TropicalRambutan]

Me too. Heart and mind is fighting

[@gerogep3666]

I always let them go, and I never take them back. No exceptions. No regrets so far.

[@oneofthegoodonesok]

Either. They had their chance for a decent relationship and blow it. I gave 1 dude heaps of chances before and that's not going to happen again.

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

@@oneofthegoodonesok Same here. Wanted access to the D so bad and I was just feeling lonely.

[@bugeye8749]

Master teach me, I’m a moron😢

[@maryamali3347]

Good

[@AuntieSamLoves]

Amen 🙏

[@sorarikufangirl1157]

I'm suffering from heart break right now. A man I was head over heels over rejected me. Pray for me.

[@mightymight24]

I'm so sorry to hear that 😢 But trust me girl there is a right guy for you 💗 Focus on loving yourself and trust that in the right time, the right guy will come 💗

[@charleneclark1817]

It's harder when your crush uses you then lies about having a girlfriend. It's not worth the hassle sometimes

[@kimlarso]

Oh dear, you don’t miss him you simply miss the you that you were when with him👉I assure you if you get back out there he’ll soon be a faded memory 👉Good Luck❤

[@memememeowww]

Are you feeling better?

[@clairebear2975]

You are gonna be fine!!!!💜

[@mintberryXoXo]

I want to be a choice and not an option! If you´re just being an option to someone, do yourself a favor and walk away without keeping the door open. We all deserve someone that wants us in their life the first time around and not as an afterthought.

[@tanyahouston5635]

My first husband told me I was like ice cream. I wanted to be someone’s meat and potatoes.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

This times infinity.

[@amyitis]

That's what someone sounds like when they KNOW.THEIR.WORTH!!! Dang I wish more people were like this! I went on a date with a guy and it was great...at the end of the date he tells me that he wants to date me, but that I won't hear from him the next day because he has another date.... I told him I'm not someone's option... and cut off all communication from there. NO ONE deserves to be an option or a backup plan. If someone treats you like an option, do them a favor and narrow it down for them!

[@user-cs1xz]

@@amyitis great point this happened to me recently too. first date, says he wants to see me again, i dont hear from him for 2 days. i blocked and moved on.

[@jenniferl1908]

Well said.

[@chopsieflores4844]

A man dumped me when we were around 50. Twenty years later we ran into each other and was surprised by how "successful" I was. Then he wanted to get back togehter and start right where we were. I said "no" and moved on. Pissed him off. Dear G.

[@TGP109]

He wanted a nurse and a purse.

[@TinaWright-iq2pd]

The idiot go forward and be happy!

[@livinggood6876]

Good for you!

[@alexiakelley4245]

I hadn’t spoken to my ex in what, four years? And out of the blue I get a friend request. Needless to say I blocked him. I’m with a man who made me his number 1 not number 20 backup.

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

good for you❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@findpurpose6300]

Well done 🎉

[@findpurpose6300]

Never go back to someone who wasted your time and disrespected you and dragged you around. ❤

[@alisonb5921]

This happened to me, 10 years ago. I was living with a guy, for 3 years, in my rented flat. He knew I wanted to stay 'childfree'. He seemed happy with that, too ! However, I found out he was cheating. My friends would tell me about it. One night I went for a drive to the local cinema, & parked down the road, behind a tree, ( this was our favourite place, after we went out to dinner). I saw his motorbike parked outside the cinema. There was a white car parked next to his bike. My friends had told me what car the woman drove. I waited until the movies had ended. Then I saw him coming out with a tall, slim woman & a little girl about 6. I thought, "what are you doing, with a single Mum, you wanted to be 'childfree". I drove home & went to bed. He came home around midnight. I was asleep. I had work on Friday. I got up, but he was already up. He said "good morning". I ignored him. Then he said "I've found someone else". I said "yes, I know, pack your bags & get out of MY flat, leave my flat keys on this table." "I want you gone today, go & live with your girlfriend & her kid". That was it ! I went to work, then came home that afternoon & he was gone. He left my keys on the table. About 4 years later, I saw him in town. He had a little girl, about 2 years old, with him. He asked me "will you take me back, this is my daughter". I said "no way, will I ever take you back, you cheated on me, I don't want your kid, either"." I'm still happy, being single & childfree". Then I walked away. The guy had the audacity to think I'd take him back, after he cheated on me & he expected me to take on his daughter, too !😠 Never !

[@margaretsmith9616]

He is not worth it so let him go.

[@drg660]

Never again! That’s my motto. In my humble opinion, men leaves their partners when they have already alternatives. If they suddenly realise the alternatives are not as available as they thought them to be, they try to approach the ex again. Is that because they appreciate the values of their ex? Not really, they merely hate to be alone and to have no one that nourish their egos. Hence: adieu, never again!

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

I agree. More often than not, a guy leaves a girl because he thinks that he has options, but when they don’t pan out, he crawls back, thinking that the girl will be a sure thing and take him back.

[@katsaridatereza]

So true

[@kotic007]

Yes or they are looking for a blow job. Never again!

[@rh87]

It’s a behaviour frequently used by narcissists.

[@googlecritic2773]

It’s just easy sex, a distant second to masterbation they’re waiting for that special lady who is worth the hard work to show up in their lives

[@ak-47intelligence75]

If he rejected you, count your blessings and RUN ! He was never that interested to begin with. In fact, he's expecting you to play the role of a ride or die. That's why rejected you. To subconsciously enforce the fact that you're inadequate as an individual to date but you can sign up for doormat to be used, abused and discarded. Ruuuunnnn .

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

Exactly

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

This deserves a Million upvotes. Not jokin' haha. 🙂

[@jessicadhaliwal3467]

My ex told me to my face that he wasn’t even that interested in me. I wasn’t that special. He didn’t find anything special in me. It was like a very normal situation for him. After yelling at me on the phone, he now expecte me to be civil towards him and respond to his greetings. (We live in the same building) but i don’t feel like saying hello back to him. He has not made any apology or tried to send a text. We would constantly share memes on instagram and he stopped doing that immediately after the breakup. But after cutting me off altogether, he expects me to greet him whenever we cross each others’ paths.

[@Jo-in3nt]

Be careful, narcissists always come back ! It's called hoovering. They come back just the time when you are feeling better. They are predators, they smell it.

[@analiaramirez2934]

💯 accurate

[@kclarke2971]

Could not be more true !

[@user-cs1xz]

SO TRUE. omg.

[@katherinehague5053]

They smell it!

[@ellien875]

Why the hell does he always message me whenever I’m happy. Just leave us alone g*d damn

[@isabelledeschamps1725]

the right person at the wrong time does not exist. It's always a matter of choice.

[@imagine_that_4335]

Right now, I'm soo tired out with everything. I'm 54 and tired of wasting my time with dead end relationships

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

I'n *39* and think the same regarding that.

[@dg5522]

Same. ❤

[@laurel237]

Yep

[@ar-ry7bo]

Same

[@pattiherland8420]

Ditto

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

I never take any man back - ever! I am the type of person to always move forward, never backward. If we broke up, he is no longer an option to me, and he will never have me as an option. I had a guy break up with me and try to come back six months later. He was shocked that not only was I not interested, but I moved on with another guy. If I regret breaking up with a guy, I don’t try to get him back. I take the L and use it as a lesson learned.

[@33Jenesis]

Good policy! I do the same. Once over it’s dead. I am still friends with all my single ex bfs because I see them as cousins. They are good guys but not compatible with me as marriage partner (hind sight is 20/20).

[@lindac6919]

I agree. Never take second slot.

[@33Jenesis]

I proposed to an ex but was rejected. It’s been 25 years, he hasn’t found another woman he could trust to marry. We’ve been friends since and He keeps hoping I’d take him back but no way I will. It feels gross because I see him like a cousin. I am retired already and have been single for years. I am glad to be single. It suits me fine.

[@reginayfavors]

I definitely wouldn't want to be retired and dealing with a fool on retirement. You made the right decision.

[@darynagorska655]

Moral of the story: never propose to a man 😅

[@alisonb5921]

I'm close to retirement age, too ! I love being single, childfree & happy. I never had kids, I never wanted kids. There's no childfree men, left, in my age group. Most men, in their late 50s/early 60s, have kids/grandkids. No way, will I date a single dad, ever again. It was awful. His kid was a nasty, 11 years old, spoilt brat daughter. I'll stay single, forever, rather than put up with that again !😄

[@PunkForAReason]

I admire you, queen ❤

[@camellia8625]

@@darynagorska655she brought it to a head and got the clarity she needed

[@motivationstartsnow]

A guy friend once told me because of the Winter, he was considering reaching out to his ex. In his words, he wanted a "warm body." Be careful out there, ladies 😅

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

Cuffing season it’s called

[@katelowry3202]

Big ew

[@12567NoYouCannot]

That's ALL they want; Nothing else.

[@motivationstartsnow]

@This is America That’s why I tell them I am waiting until marriage. Works like magic.

[@meganhenry5795]

Cuffing is being in a relationship, not just fuckin.

[@chrgher440]

I have always believed that we are either together and working on the relationship or we are done. No going back and forth.

[@IevaKambarovaite]

That *how have you been, I miss you* text.. It's funny how some men always come back no matter what. But just because he's back, it doesn't mean he has necessarily changed or that he wants to commit. Never assume. Allow him to prove himself with his actions and not words.

[@Joy_M507]

Totally agree!

[@zlatkajupe]

I never had an ex boyfriend do me wrong, and end up in a better place after me. And they all come back missing you "realizing" what a catch you were. Too little too late. I'll never go back. I want a man who sees that first time around.

[@IMHip2]

I got “ I’m realizing now that what we had was special” after living together for 7 years. He threw a tantrum when I talked about marriage. He was so sure I would come back too and the look on his face when he realized I was not falling for it was priceless 😂

[@anitarogers2877]

@M B - Well done for being so strong.

[@susannehuber3996]

😂 love it. ❤good for you.

[@e3mel5eer83]

tell him you became an orthodox christian and you can only live with a man after he receives you at the altar

[@EDEL121]

@@e3mel5eer83🤣🤣

[@Hernameiskalis]

You already lost time.. so whats there to brag about?

[@kristinej.4182]

My ex, a narcissist, is reaching out after a year and I’m so glad I’ve moved on and now in a healthy happy relationship. It’s pathetic to see the situation he’s in now vs when he was with me. Karma is a bitch!

[@user-cs1xz]

ha same with my guy who recently reached out! over a YEAR later! and he was a narc too. i ignored

[@reyoart1766]

neah, the narcissist were/ is you

[@moonchild650]

@@reyoart1766 That's something real narcs enjoy doing: calling women "crazy" or "narcs" and projecting their toxic narcissism onto everyone. Instead of naming a woman you've never met a narcissist and disclosing your disorder, seek treatment.

[@reyoart1766]

@@moonchild650 lady said her ex was a narcissist. Usually exactly the same people that trash their exes are the real narcs. Please do not seek help, embrace your destiny. I am a narcissist and I live with myself as I can. You know, there are two sides involved, always, why should I believe someone that thinks her/ his ex was toxic? it could be otherwise. let' s hear/ read narc's version of the story, then judge, if it is the case

[@moonchild650]

@@reyoart1766 It's true that narcissists usually trash their exes and call them "crazy", "borderline" or "narc". But you don't know Kristine personally, so you are just assuming that she is a narc. She says that she's in a healthy happy relationship now, so maybe her ex is truely a narc? Maybe or maybe not or maybe he just has some narcisstic traits and tendencies like so many people. But we can't tell for sure. Be well. I have enough empathy for narcs too, even though I was abused for many years by several narcs - some of whom malignant narcs, but I no longer tolerate their behaviour, their manipulations, their toxicity and their mind fuckery. Be well.

[@karenolson4000]

When a guy starts being critical and rejects you, I think it can be a good idea to immediately block his number. In this way, the guy has to live with his choice and can't back track later on.

[@nateo200]

It isnt just a gender thing. This is an avoidant attachment thing and I've done this twice but stopped after I had it done to me by a female avoidant who was very much like this but 10x worse and not aware of it.

[@jenbodhi1133]

It’s true, the minute they get annoyed or critical, walk away immediately

[@MFLimited]

Yes. Lots of women accept criticism too readily and are willing to blame themselves in situations where they know better. Don’t be with a man who wants to put you down. That’s all he’s doing, trying to break you

[@dortheaford8083]

Ok, so perhaps my story is rare, but I had an ex come back 2 years later. And now we are happily married and have a baby. He had some growing and learning to do in the 2 years we were apart.

[@MissSarahGM]

How lovely! How did he come back, casually or with an apology if he dumped you?

[@jessjenkins5474]

My experience is similar. 4 years a part and now back together. We are married and loving it. We've grown up and respect each other.

[@EllieM_Travels]

Same thing here. We met and dated when we both really needed to heal from bad divorces, and we ended it because we both still needed that alone time to process. We remained friends, determined that we had a healthy love, and have been happy together for eight years now. There are certain circumstances where taking space and revisiting the relationship is beneficial.

[@marcmillis3867]

​@@FlamingCockatieleven the dumper sometimes is not even a dumper. The person is just afraid to be dumped, so you dump before being dumped.... Because the problem is you dont know what is real.

[@sav16658]

@@marcmillis3867 That’s not an excuse, they need to learn how to communicate.

[@karenmassey8354]

The fact that it takes so many guys until their 40’s to mature is super annoying.

[@kwbaby4297]

If that 😊

[@MissSarahGM]

My ex is 40 and still immature

[@CrAzYiNsAnEBaRbiE1987]

.my ex is 60 and immature

[@anitarogers2877]

@Karen Massey - Even then there's no promise they will. I met someone when they were 42. They are almost 47 and they are no different and just the same. Flitting in and out, with no direction because they have a messy work/life situation, that can't be remedied. Frustrating for him being unable to make plans, but also for me observing his patterns. Update: 2 months later, he now has a permanent job so routine and structure, at very long last, so much less stress. His in, out, patterns with me the same as they ever were. It is him, not his external excuses as to why he can't be consistent with me. Some men just won't change or can't. Perhaps when they meet the 'right' woman for them, but who knows?

[@youtubetiff]

They have mental disabilities

[@cangrejitamiry]

They are probably narcs or dismissive avoidants

[@carolinelaronda4523]

@@zotw-101 it’s just easier to shorten it to narc -we all know what she’s referring to here 👍🏼

[@tarothijadevenus4017]

It’s ok to say Narcs, we get you ❤

[@alisonb5921]

Not always. My ex rejected me, 1 year after we started dating. When we first dated, he said he "never wanted kids, he wanted to be childfree, forever". I said "that's good, I want to be childfree, forever, too"! Our friends all had kids. He liked kids, I tolerated them for my friends. 1 year, after we first dated, we went out to dinner. After our meal, we talked. He told me he "decided he does want kids & our relationship will go nowhere, because you never wanted kids". So he broke up with me. I was upset, then I realised I'm better off single, rather than be with a guy, who now wants kids & resents me for not wanting kids. We never lived together, so we went our separate ways. I moved to another town. I'm happy, single & childfree. My new friends are now all childfree, I have pets, I have a job, my life is great. I wish my ex, the best. I believe in the saying 'careful what you wish for' ! I hope he has the family he wished for, now ! 😊

[@willow_pillow]

😂

[@cangrejitamiry]

@@alisonb5921 that is typical dismissive avoidants behavior. They build a narrative over a long time and finally spew it out. It makes you think they lost grip of reality

[@tanyahouston5635]

Years ago an older woman told me men always return to the scene of the crime. I have a rule-over is over and I never go back. I’ll talk to him, but I cannot take him seriously.

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

What if I never wanted to break up? He was the one to break it off with me??! 😞

[@reyoart1766]

nope, you were the narcissist

[@tajr.2650]

@@reyoart1766 what lol gtfo

[@irinaivanovic9792]

@@reyoart1766 You literally comment the SAME thing to every woman on here. You are definitely a male narcissist. Get some fucking therapy.

[@purplepeach11]

@@reyoart1766 I don't think you know what narcissism actually means. But go off.

[@chimeyantandajunji3854]

Narcissist use you and leave you in pieces but when karma gets them, they come back to you in pieces.

[@Dolce_Piccante]

😭 he rejected me after first date..may karma get him and crawl to me

[@DaylanTheAngrySauerkraut]

​@Dolce_Piccante why do you want a pathetic worm to crawl back to you.

[@Dolce_Piccante]

@@DaylanTheAngrySauerkraut 😂

[@strawberryshortcake8382]

Love this !

[@Jeanninecomeau]

This is a great video. Guys generally don't leave a woman for long that they really love. They like knowing they can come back if they want too. Hard pass ladies.

[@teadororudy]

No one shoots straight like Brian. No false hopes or mystical bs. A week ago I left a fwb situation with a guy that I’m crazy about. We have a beautiful connection but he insists that he does not want a relationship. I chose myself and walked away, even though it is hurting me tremendously, I know it is the right thing. My gut tells me that I will hear from him again in the next weeks or months, but my brain also knows that when I do it will be because he misses the massive ego boost that basking in my adoration gave him. I won’t be naïve if/when that happens. Thank you Brian for all that you do and to this wonderful community. The comments are almost as valuable in keeping me strong , and I’m moving on slowly but surely. .

[@Jordana1917]

Be strong.

[@teadororudy]

@@Jordana1917 Thank you. 🙏🏻Last night was so hard! Our football team won, and that is something that we would normally have celebrated together. I almost caved and contacted him. It took every once of will power and self respect I possess not to. Just want the feeling to stop…ugh!

[@Jordana1917]

@@teadororudy Do not contact him at all! It's really bad what you're going through, I know what it's like, but it will be worse if you contact him. Don't waste another second of your life with this guy. The sooner you leave this behind, the sooner God can put someone much better than him in your path, but never get into an FWB situation with anyone again because we women do not have the biological, psychological or emotional capacity for this behavior. The wound it creates in our being and in our self-esteem is very painful. May God bless you and free you from this attachment to this man. I will keep you in my prayers.

[@teadororudy]

@Jack-fd3gl Thank you for taking the time to time to write this. You may be right. I’ve been married and I’ve had long term relationships, but I’m not sure if anyone has ever truly loved me or seen me. Bless you.

[@marcellejane2298]

I haven't tried hard for 10years. Still single waiting for a man to step up and do the right thing and treat me like a lady by asking me out on a date. when it comes to a relationship. I promised myself to stop doubting myself because of a mans indecisive behaviour towards me. We all deserve genuine love. If men tried to stop manipulating women and come from a genuine place of care and love it shows through his actions. Lies only last so long. We all deserve true love not fraudsters who take advantage of your kindness then wonder why you act cold after the bad experience.

[@marcellejane2298]

I have and he treated me coldly.

[@legalfictionnaturalfact3969]

Flaming, Because the female is a chooser. This is true across the animal kingdom. Stop whining, get out there, and ask. Very politely. Or don't. But we're not going to hear it. Sorry. Lol

[@tapashyarasaily4869]

This puts the nail in the coffin for me!! I blocked him but I can't stop thinking of him...now i will not talk to him ever again. Some guys should never be forgiven.

[@marliesluyten8686]

You don’t get the same me twice . The second comes with no emotions😅😅

[@KayCee45617]

Omg exactly!

[@Jenjenny508]

Same here😂

[@thedreamer9529]

I love that😂😂

[@manisham6246]

True

[@nightmaresandbutterflies1058]

Same

[@jammyjay917]

If they cant see your worth before, move forward and don't look back...

[@camillabartlett9128]

I give the benefit of the doubt But if I’m not treated right A few time I’ll overlook But there’s a limit I’ll set boundaries My own worth is important I’ve earned the be work to be love properly Not half hearted Im not here to fix a broken heart Time is to precise to wait for that glue to set Im moving on After all time waits for no one Done with heart aches and tears Done with one sided love Lord grant me the love you’ve designed for me In your name Amen

[@nipaparekh1678]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@jesuslovesus8054]

❤

[@Lucila3101]

I left a man that I thought it was the one. The saddest feeling ever...🙁

[@carmenkamberos1156]

@Lucila, hi, same here.

[@OluwafumikeRacheal]

Same here it's not easy I am still feeling the pain, I pray may God heal me

[@ProfaneDreads-]

Me tooo 🤣😂🤣😂I thought he was the one.I even thought we was in a relationship because we was doing bedroom athletics….only to find out I was his best friend and that he is scared of marriage 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Sisters I was broken y’all

[@KayCee45617]

@Alixir1228 Omg yes, exactly!

[@lee02jepson]

You've got it wrong when you say "a man (or woman) will split from you THEN search the dating environment". Often the real situation is they're already dating someone else + you felt that for a while. When that situation fizzles out then they come back around sniffing to see if they can get back. DON'T DO IT!

[@Backwoods_Paranormal]

The moment my ex husband saw me with a guy friend and ASSUMED we were together, he tried to say, "You're the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME" THIS IS A NARCISSIST. THIS IS A MAN WHO HAS LOST CONTROL OF ME. 😂 He never valued me to begin with.

[@sarahsmith3016]

Haven’t spoken with my situationship in almost three months. Thought about texting him; this video helped me not to lol

[@HomewithAurora]

I call mine apart-nership.😂🎉😂 Cheers!

[@maijensen3317]

Situationship, something casual, friends with benefits, ect.....I'm so f*cking tired of people struggling with FOMO. I know from experience that is hard not to fall back, but please tell yourself that you deserve something better than a situationship

[@vam9785]

@@HomewithAurora thats genius 😂😂😂

[@IrinaZhygalyk]

Just broke up with my situationship. He was surprised to learn I wasn’t that happy about our situation 😂

[@melissa3986]

These men really make women feel super bad about themselves! They suck the life out of you!

[@kclarke2971]

My ex told me " this can't get serious" on our first date. I should have listened and not wasted so many years with that self centered SOB. I am so so so very glad he's gone gone gone. now.

[@aselyne5631]

Always believe what a man tells you esp when its negative

[@Tima33.4]

I think this is the most honest answer I have listened to, I agree with you. They don’t deserve another chance took me years to realize that they will just repeat that all the mistakes.

[@howdydo7320]

Interesting topic. I can relate to that scenario, glad I made the choice to move on & married a man who loved me as I was.

[@cherrylane79]

I had that experience, then he just left again. Very painful and he acted like he didn't do anything and didn't care.

[@danidiaz2377]

Narcissism for sure

[@purplehearts3287]

He wanted me out of his life. He'll never regret it. It's been 8 months since I left. My life is so much better. It's so odd because two months before I left he told me he bought me an engagement ring but that he didn't love me "like that" anymore and he was sorry and it wasn't my fault. He gave me the ring, he didn't have any use for it. He told me he wasn't meant to be in a relationship. He wanted to do what he wanted and didn't want to have to answer to anyone. I'm just sorry I wasted 5 years on this horrible person. 🙄😒

[@bloodbuddy7]

He truly does sound like a horrible person. So incredibly selfish and disgusting.

[@Liztastaney7]

Ah i see... Many young men rejected me when in college just bcuz i was too straight forward. They need those sweet words n lies not harsh reality. Guess who all those guys finally reaching out to. I'm so done.

[@anointedone1995]

Those sweet lying words turned real bitter in their gut 😂😂😂

[@Joy-xt5uo]

Thank you so much for this. I’m currently going through a divorce and my husband suddenly wants me back. He’s been spending the past five months making lots of promises and begging for another chance. The thing is we were together for 24 years during that whole time he was looking for something better. I was starting it out myself he’s being so kind and loving all of a sudden.

[@anndavis2922]

Rrruuuuun

[@annsweetwater8110]

Go ahead and divorce him PLEASE. Then he can pursue your love and try to win time with you, if you find him attractive and sincere. Divorcing him will certainly improve your chances of having a good relationship with him. By divorcing him, you raise your status and declare yours a completely separate life worthy of respect. He'll not change except in response to how much YOU change. You can always marry him again later (ick), nif the wool slides back down over your eyes.

[@jenbodhi1133]

They always do this, don’t take him back, he’ll just take you for granted again

[@woodyssnake8562]

1. Because I'm wonderful 2. BECAUSE I'm wonderful 3. Because I'm wonderful 4. Because I'm wonderful 5. Because I'm wonderful 6. Because I'm wonderful 7. Because I'm wonderful 8. Because I'm wonderful 9. Because I'm wonderful 10. Because I'm wonderful 11. Because I'm wonderful 12. Because I'm wonderful 13. Because I'm wonderful 14. Because I'm wonderful 15. Because I'm wonderful

[@SpecialAnonymous]

yes.

[@katemoffitt1641]

X1000 & beyond‼️

[@Sherbetsink]

My ex after every breakup we had (yes I know red flag right there ) but he would always call and cry and get me back. The last time tho he found someone else during our breakup . Then messaged me say this was his final goodbye. So he obviously found someone who gave him his kicks.i haven't once asked to get him back. It was painful but I'm so glad someone else took my place . It was highly toxic . He didn't love me he loved what I gave him . He isn't capable to love. Very narcissistic. Ty for this video ❤

[@kimberleyann51]

I made the mistake of reaching out to my ex. He used me again and that was it. Never heard from him again. I saw his true colors and I'm done

[@leslietiwari8625]

I used to get mad and tell my boyfriend off when he would ignore me. It never really made a difference in his behavior. He would just get mad or pretend he was sorry and continue with the same behavior. Then I tried ignoring him, not answering his texts or calls and this gave me much better results.

[@justinabranham4212]

Did he change?

[@alfreire72]

It is only ego, when they come back. He doesn't want you really. But he can't even imagine you with another man ;)

[@lesliestewart6239]

so true

[@anaviana2641]

Gosh, its so "complicate" only because a person is emotionally invested in the relationship. Take the emotion right out of the toxic relationship, and wala.. You have freedom from the toxic relationship and joy and happiness

[@AlexandertheGreat99]

*voila

[@amnbvcxz8650]

It’s so complicated because one person (the other) is not invested in relationship and doesn’t see as much value in their ex.

[@tristamarie7115]

Thank you for your channel Brian! I'm of the belief, if someone doesn't want/like you from the beginning, they aren't going to change their minds. It normally is strong at the beginning and then declines vs. no intention and then all of a sudden wants to be with someone.

[@alchemicalsoul]

You can give a person a shot, but have no expectation of change. Hopefully you took the time to achieve secure attachment. I finally learned this time around to just observe his behaviors. An avoidant has about two months before he reverts back to who he is. Take the lessons and the good memories and keep it moving. Let the things you do for him be simply because you desired to be your authentic self. When he ghosts, because he likely will, you don't feel loss but rather appreciation that you got to have some fun time, be your kind, giving self, and learned to use boundaries to stay focused and open to what you really want. I had to change my behavior and perspective. Before I knew it, I was over it and back to my world where there is love, by me.

[@lifeoutsidecomfortzone]

LOVE this

[@cynthiadetox8300]

Exactly what i needed to hear...you are incredible for educating woman about men in this regard, and you have no idea how much good you are doing, May the Good Lord bless you tremendously

[@CoolAsianBrit0358]

Past is past! Looking forward instead of looking back

[@saturnladyd9864]

My ex husband still thinks we're getting back together after 15 years and 3 attempts from me to get him to sign divorce papers, and he was the one that left me

[@JB-3794]

You must not live in a state with no fault divorce, where you can get a divorce without his signature or consent.

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

The judge can make you divorced with out him, its easy

[@SPenninah0425]

No signature needed. Divorced by default. You must not live in the US.

[@alisonb5921]

He left to be with a lesser woman, than me. He got what he deserved. He's stuck with her now ! She has him 'under-her-thumb'. I have high standards & he didn't meet my high standards, anyway ! 😊 I'm happy being single.

[@Plethorality]

Funny how that happens.

[@GalaxyFluke]

Not sure what a lesser woman is. In Gods eyes we are equal.

[@alisonb5921]

@@GalaxyFluke What about if the woman is a manipulative narcissist? I'm sure God would consider her to be wicked & evil ? A definite lesser woman ! 😮

[@rachaeldaimon1260]

How do you judge someone to be lesser, you sound weird.

[@nicolesiemens8727]

As time goes by, you truly see your worth- and all of this just doesnt matter any longer. You've changed. You've grown SO much. You learned so much, about how a man should treat you, and shouldn't. If a man returns to you- listen to his words, but proceed with caution. Does he sound sincere? Does he sound like he truly loves you, and has grown, and matured? Is he ready to commit 110% If not- gracefully walk away.

[@violetacamps8573]

This is a very important msg for me.I took him back after a long time ,then after a year he dropped me again. I know he may come back again, but I won't take him back.I think he came back for the wrong reasons,the grass wasn't greener !!!

[@MissSarahGM]

Did you discuss the issues before taking him back?

[@clairexxx0405]

Thanking you Brian... I needed this video and it's advice, it's so difficult to steer ourselves through all the red flags when we act with our hearts and not our heads instead. I really love it when you stay to the very end too 😊

[@karolinah12]

If a partner leaves because the other partner treated them badly (cheated, lied, disrespected them etc)but then they come back anyway, that is not ego and not selfish. If they leave because they were not sure, don't take them back second time round, they will leave again

[@suzanablank5809]

Lets put it this way, what ever the reasons were that a male chose to leave a woman, they took some time to form in their heads and hearts to think and decide. That woman has not changed but these lame males thought grass is greener elsewhere and when they found out it is not they wanted what they chose not to have, they pine for what they lost by own choice. It is never the woman as reason for male trying to get her back. Dog never barks cs of the village, but own self. So let them weep, those losers and idiots and do not worry that they are! They only think of ownself and own wants. They never took time to think how is the woman feeling in all of it. They defo are narcs and emotionally immature. Id never give them a second of the day. When they walk out, thats it. The End.

[@alixtoo8955]

Years later? Lol. Simply looking for a nurse and a purse!

[@belinda.davie.coaching]

Thank you for speaking on this topic! 🙏 Relationships are complex and your work helps us navigate it with more ease ✨

[@kristinebell3203]

I was with a man for over 16 years, no marriage or kids. It was after i left, he reached out 3 weeks after wanting to buy me engagement ring and get married the following year. I turned it down because i think i deserve better. It's 2 years since i broke it off and been single since. I want to be in a relationship but not with him. I gave him enough of my time, never once cheated on him, was very much faithful. Some might wonder why i stayed in it for so long without marriage?. I stayed with him for so long because I don't believe in jumping in and out of relationships.

[@anndavis2922]

You should be loyal ONLY to the right person.

[@alexandramathysen-gerst6036]

Dear Brian, you are very clear, likeable, and accessible, Thank you,

[@malicant123]

I lost a very good woman because I was too immature to appreciate what I had. She's gone now, and I'm a hollow shell of a man. In my defense, I have made sure that I'm punished for my mistakes, and every day is a constant struggle over what I've lost.

[@lovetobe6118]

My first boyfriend broke up with me. I don't understand why he was sitting on the fence of halfway wanting to get back together and halfway not wanting to. Because I had watched my best friend go through something much worse where she was desperately hoping the man she loved would take her back, so I just distanced myself and refused to interact. When I got engaged he sent me a message, and I couldn't believe he still wasn't over me. Especially since based on the message I knew he would be unlikely to get back together with me if I broke up with my fiance. I was definitely over him. Tiem to move on buddy.

[@vikki8699]

Gosh, that sounds like the classic case of: I don't want you but I'll ne damed if I see another man get your blessings. Good for you to not fall for it.

[@mandohoney]

I love you ....hope that's ok...your talks are helping me understand and heal after decades of rejection and abuse. Thank you Heath.

[@mariloucruz6238]

I was in a wrong person for a long time since it came to a point that i felt emotionally, mentally drained, last january he again did asking for a space which i already explode like a bomb in anger, cried, grieved and ask God to remove from this situation and started my healing journey, then after 45 days this man again comes back, and i told myself , NO i cant afford to go back from this vicious cycle, now there us more Peace and self love, please include me in your prayers, to all who’s reading this that may God continue to empower us in iur weakest moment! Sending love and light to all who needs healing🙏

[@anoubamsanjana539]

He was come back within 1 month of no contact and said sorry I accepted his apology but after 1 month he treated me more worsen than before he treated on me and now I found out he's with someone else and acquired already 5 months within he communicated with me. So I surrender from this toxic relationship but feel pain 😢

[@leonita2252]

Brian is a life saver, as always, thank you Brian 🧡

[@SummaGirl1347]

He came back because he needs you as his backup plan. But, men never respect or love a woman who tolerates being used. "A man with no vision for his future always goes back to his past."

[@googlecritic2773]

They’re just looking for easy sex as a lukewarm distraction while they’re waiting for that special lady who is worth all the hard work and effort to show up in their lives

[@Deci_Bella]

Not quite the same scenario, but one of the most useful things I've ever read was one woman's realization that the man who kept calling her after breaking up with her didn't do it so that he could keep loving her. He kept calling so that *she* could keep loving *him*. I experienced this phenomenon as well, and it's too bad I didn't realize that at the time. I thought he kept calling because he cared - nope, he just wanted an ego boost.

[@mlj1309]

How do we tell the difference between someone reaching out because of true care or ego reason?

[@Deci_Bella]

@@mlj1309 Well, he is the one that broke up with you, right? If he cared so much, he wouldn't have done it.

[@JoannaGraceYoga]

Yessss

[@tika2glamorous]

That was powerful “He kept calling so she could keep loving him” VERY real

[@mariapap8962]

​@@tika2glamorous triggering...

[@grandmatee97]

Gawd it’s confusing sometimes!! Thank you Brian. Be honest and be valuable. Stay true to yourself.

[@HereInMyVerona]

I needed to hear this truth.

[@yourhealingjourney9824]

Let them go. And no reconciliation, people. When they come back, it's usually to fill their own cups.

[@karenhall2926]

No if you take him back he does the same thing all over again

[@pearlhunter2440]

Exactly. Like I've ALWAYS said, "If you can't Love while I'm (seemingly) down then, you can't Love me when I'm up". Let that be the reason. Feel free to miss me with that.🏃‍♀️💨💯

[@donnab8345]

Very helpful video. My situation exactly. He came back years later. I fell for it. A repeat of what happened years ago, except this time he didn't steal my car by forging the title. As a side note, I could listen to Brian Nox's accent all day.

[@kimberjennings1163]

Good good advice "BABY" I don't care about rejections because I know that he will someday be sorry 😔 and all along. When I will remain happy with another and long long GONE..💋

[@sarahrose7487]

So… all of this really resonates with me…but I’m having trouble figuring out where I fit into this. I was with a guy who I truly loved and even though we went slow because he had lost his father and was figuring out a new life after leaving a big career, I was happy to go at his pace and everything felt ok… then out of the blue, while I was working in another country, he disappears and gets engaged to his ex girlfriend. (Side note: I was living with him at the time!) and then he married her 2 months later!!! And still kept in contact with me, telling me he missed me and he didn’t stop to love me and he couldn’t get me out of his head… but it’s been completely devastating to me and I don’t know which side of this coin I fall into… I haven’t gone one day that I don’t think about him and I can’t seem to stop loving him because it did feel like he was my twin and our connection was so deep… but he is not with his ex, doing everything with her that we used to do tiger get and it hurts so much - I feel like someone is punching my stomach every time I think of him… where do I fit into this? Thank you! 🙏

[@vikki8699]

Oh lovely, I am so sorry. Where you fit is the option section in case things don't work out with the girl he chose to marry. So he's keeping you sweet for "just in case". Its very selfish and cruel of him to do this to you. What you have to think of is that he is only looking for his best intetests here, not yours. If he truly loved you, there would be no other woman for him. He is telling you one thing, but showing you who he is and where he stands with his actions. Listen to his actions. Cut him off ASAP, get yourself into theraphy to heal from this heartbrake so you don't bring it to an actual good man who wants to make you a priority in his life. Do things that fill your soul and give that love back to yourself. You deserve to be #1 in a man's life. Not a maybe, or a hold on or an option. #1! Let go of him, mourn and grieve the loss and allow yourself heal. Much love to you sis! ❤

[@eliza6971]

This is a great reason to not hook up with a coworker unless you know they're actually emotionally available and not just soaking up your time and energy. I was emotionally involved with a coworker who pursued me and ask me out only to ghost me. I got more space at work (not trying to be too cold because we had to work together but making it clear my time is not just openly available to him). Over time he got back into my good graces (I thought we could just be friends) and this whole thing repeated itself another couple of times until I decided to leave my dead end job at that company and delete his number. I later found out he had been dating another one of our coworkers (who knew ALL about the trouble I was having with him) only for him to dump her out of the blue 18 months later.

[@googlecritic2773]

I had a friends with benefits and we were so chill with each other One day he called me out of the blue and said he can never talk to me ever again, on social media, in person - nada I was stunned because we were so close, like buddies I asked him what happened and he said he met someone special and he thinks she’s “the one” I asked why we need to be total strangers and he said he was just using me for easy sex because he was sick of masterbating and being lonely. He said I was a “pleasant distraction” while he was waiting for someone special to show up in his life. I asked if he was planning to use her for sex like he did for me, and he said “no she’s way too special for that - I haven’t even kissed her yet” 😭

[@deedee446]

I hope your doing okay. I cant imagaine how difficult it must have been for you. We are just seen as a s*x object in a man's eyes. Is that all we are worth?

[@googlecritic2773]

@@deedee446 Thank you so much He’s engaged now and I’m still single

[@jessjenkins5474]

How awful of him to say. You have to love yourself first and know your worth. Put yourself first always. I hope you're doing ok now.

[@googlecritic2773]

@@jessjenkins5474 He’s engaged and I’m still single

[@googlecritic2773]

@@deedee446 I would not agree we’re only seen as sex objects because obviously he feels very different about this girl She’s so special he didn’t even try to kiss her

[@ginny8150]

. I hope this video reignites the “little philosopher” within every viewer. Invaluable for the collective 💚 Thank you so much!

[@sarahrose7487]

What about when they cheat on you with their ex, then marry her 2 months later, then 6 weeks after marrying her - starts writing you that he can’t stop loving you or thinking about you etc… and carries on telling you how amazing you are and how special you… but he’s still married. Ok, so he regrets his choice? Well he’s still married… so… it means nothing really.

[@marisacillahi1537]

Run away sister 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️don’t look back

[@jenny1234361]

He is playing games … with his wife and you

[@poelogan]

you’re dealing with a DA- abort.

[@dw3675]

No. He is using you. Do NOT go back to this situation. You deserve better. You can find someone else who doesn’t see you as a back up plan, who thinks so little of you to want you to be his side piece. You’re absolutely right, his words mean nothing at this point. There are over 4 billion men alive. You CAN find someone better!!

[@jennyacyl]

I never believe in giving a man the 2nd chance. Old habits die hard. You already knew the ending of the story. Why repeat the story?

[@thisnthat7760]

I got cheated when I was at my lowest battling depression and poor health... I was devastated and hurt, but I moved on, even took 2 years off my schooling to heal myself.and swore an oath that if I can ,I will have a revenge... 9 years later he came back, I played along with it, 3 days to our wedding... I called it off and i laughed manically alone .. .. I had my revenge.. I have No Regrets , and I couldn't care less if people call me mean or whatever 😂😂😂

[@irinaivanovic9792]

GOOD! These evil creatures called "men" deserve their Karma.

[@kellychuba]

revenge fiction I love it

[@karensimpson4869]

You got balls lass I will give you that , Respect to you

[@faridaaali6170]

Wo😮

[@airbubble.]

Well done you. You waited nine years to prove you were no better than him all along. I see no healing here

[@FreeSpirit47]

No second chances. End of discussion. He doesn't deserve an answer. Ignore. Delete. Block.

[@marcelinamccool7228]

Excellent ! You were able to explain clearly many scenarios that helped me understand this controversial topic and ease! Thank you! I think also if we feel our guts which represents our intuition, a good change we may ended up being played by someone! No one that really cares for us brings anxiety and stress unnecessary

[@danisehetland3378]

Your video are always so informative and you explain things so well.

[@rosecoon1791]

You can always date him again while keeping your options open. Date other men too. He’ll love it 😉 Well ok, he may not love it, but he will deserve it. 🤭

[@libertyimaging3354]

I don't have time for others to use me I gave it up & looking at myself fully don't want lier & cheater

[@kimberjennings1163]

Pls..... Forget about rejections ladies ,And just love yourself ❤️❤️❤️❤️💋 GOD 🙏🏼 will understand 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[@karennatalie7885]

Always the best content Brian! Always get great info from your videos!

[@marleenmathews]

We dated for 2,5 months earlier this year, then broke up with the me because he felt overwhelmed. 4 months go by and he reaches out. I asked him what he wants, he said he was now ready to date seriously and looking for something longterm. I was careful and continued dating other men. After 2.5months of consistent dating but no intimacy yet, he asks if we can become intimate and I say we can if we exclusively do so with each other for safety. he breaks it up again because he is not ready for something committed or monogamous. I am so glad he now showed his pattern and that I continued dating other men so I can easily shift my focus on them. Please keep dating other men ladies, it protects your heart!

[@introvertednature]

Ladies, let's learn to block, on 👏🏽every 👏🏽 single 👏🏽 platform 👏🏽

[@joycedropoog575]

Or they try to return back for a lack of better. Like a comfy blanket. No way. Don't care, don't come back

[@joyfitzgerald9878]

💯

[@DoughDashWord]

You are THE BEST I’ve seen on social media!