Brian Regan - All By Myself (12. Restaurants)

NEW Brian Regan 2011

[@alexanderjakel8001]

Big mistake taking a sip thinking he was done with the joke.. "Don't just splash it on my face" *loses all control of facial function*

[@emmavanemma5098]

I've listened to this so many times. It never gets old.

[@ColbyBlack]

“.....yeah, don’t just splash it on my face”. Had me rolling.

[@TeaInTheMoment]

"I’ll take it blackity black-black, Filled with blackness Devoid of all light Think of the blackest thing you can imagine And double that blackness And take a black magic marker and fill in the gaps And put that in a black rocket ship and shoot it into the depths of black space And close your eyes . . . . . . And use that as a reference." Brilliant!

[@TimeToWreck]

HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY!!

[@Foolsdust2034]

Now that's how you ask for a cup of coffee.

[@babylen1568]

IM A BLACK COFFEE DRINKER TOO,THIS IS FUNNY...BLACKITY BLACK BLACK DEVOID OF ALL LIGHT"...LOL.

[@ccon96]

Eating + Brian Regan = Impossible

[@dr.banana2828]

blackety blackblack is my favourite joke ever lol i think on his homepage he sells a mug with that written on it XD

[@mickib1592]

I have it; it's awesome!!

[@topramen5344]

I think “HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY” is my favorite punchline of his

[@stagesiren7]

Is it blackety black black?? LMFAO!! I LOVE Brian!! :D

[@Alexsmom32201]

Do you have black cream????

[@Alexsmom32201]

Ridiculously funny

[@jangtheconqueror]

How I wish there was a way!

[@icyjon923]

NO THERE IS NO WAY!!

[@Mario4812]

6-11 Servings? That's 12 to 22 whole entire Fig Newtons!

[@Lilac-888]

I love black coffee! This soooooo true!

[@RobertusMaximus]

Legend has it . . . . There once was a waiter. He is so funny

[@camillechartier2418]

"blackity black black"

[@Artycyborg]

oh ma'am, i'm so sorry... there is no way.

[@consecratedfilms]

6 to 11 just keep them a comin!!!

[@hiddentoyou]

is candy in the dot?

[@lunamarinero4708]

I'm an artist (mainly drawing/painting/sculpting) and I wanna draw each scene as he explains them. I can see it all in my brain right now! Well just a water and coffee scene.

[@MoeGreensRightEye]

Is there any way I can up vote this??

[@absofruitlyriley]

Some way, some how

[@thesodaever]

I'm sorry ma'am...there is no way...

[@olfoogy]

I appreciate your talent Mister Regan clean comedy is just the funniest when the person delivering yet it's genuinely freaking hilarious which you are!

[@Megahn78]

Think of the blackest thing you can imagine and double it. Then fill the blank spots with black magic marker. Put that into a black rocket ship and shoot that into the blackness of space. Then close your eyes and use that as a reference.

[@haileycorrigan8169]

legend has it there was a waiter here years ago

[@kileyeugene]

The first time I heard this it was on Pandora.

[@jangtheconqueror]

it's amazing how many different voices he can do seriously. sometimes i think he's two or three different people.

[@hugshealhearts]

is it BLACK creme? if not, I'll take it blackity black black xD

[@treyguin]

yeah, don't just slash it on my face...

[@boba7772]

Man, I wasdepressed, so I just went to these videos again and I feel happy. : )

[@Robbie_the_Rabbit]

While correct in the overall sense of the question, at a restaurant it's typically one answer. Yes.

[@mimipastry]

I love the subway bit he did, so many repeats below

[@smario589306]

HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY!!! XD

[@RenaissanceGrappling]

brian regan is amazing

[@Abelhawk]

I think this is the funniest track :D That "there is no way" and the Food Pyramid jokes never get old.

[@Mokaythatsrespectabl]

that first joke had me on the floor

[@DeEzriel]

@Mokaythatsrespectabl Me too... one of the funniest things I've heard in a very long time... sounds like something I would say, haha

[@Neurotripsicks]

2:30 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

[@toph2223]

Legend has it hahahahahaha!!! EPIC

[@RLwithstand]

Is it BLACK cream?

[@milesfriedman2109]

Blackest thing i can think of. Liam from Curb your Enthusiasm

[@ajberletic3321]

JB SMOOVE. he is a hilarious stand up too. "WHO'S GODDAMN DOG IS THIS!"

[@datacentre81]

My cheek muscles hurt from smiling

[@captainawesome1316]

This is fucking gold!!! Lol lol looool, legend has it there was a waiter here years ago 😂😂

[@sil.o.5399]

Ohhh i love this so much

[@PhoenixWormwood137]

Funniest one yet :D lol

[@dominickgeddert1535]

Is it Black cream?

[@palmerartigues1658]

Get the Dot!!

[@magicalistic77]

They DID make it into a dot! Or a plate...same difference.

[@badfishrucatunes]

I love fellow smartasses

[@zoekitinoja2358]

I love this joke so much, but it's not on iTunes!! WHy??

[@2Plus2isChicken2013]

I'm pretty sure you have to order the CD of this show off of Brian Regan's website. I don't think it's on iTunes.

[@supersaiyanzero386]

I cant even quote this just "the whole thing here"

[@NoirMulherTV]

He likes his coffee like I like my women: blackity black black with black cream.

[@FlyBoyBigBlue]

I used to think that way about why they asked if I wanted cream and sugar after I asked for a hot black coffee, which has all the necessary info in the name. Then I began to eat with others from work and have sat next to many a diner who asks for black coffee, but then asks where the sugar or cream is. It seems black coffee has become the term for American style coffee, rather than coffee, and only coffee. Blame the idiots for making most waitresses ask you to save a step.

[@BlazingSaddle1]

XD "is it BLACK cream??? If not i'd like it blackity black black!!!"

[@mackenzielefler7232]

Legend has it

[@bradenkattman3992]

I am like one of 2 comments who aren't just repeating a line from the video.

[@johnpotter26]

Brian Regan vids are the reason I am tired at work the next day

[@Robbie_the_Rabbit]

That's what you get for pointing out the amount of dislikes.

[@alcalu]

I gotta eat what's in the dot! Is candy in the dot?

[@painyaintheneck]

Thumbs up if you hate youtube for taking this out!

[@EnjoyerofYoutube]

HAHAHAHA

[@MrBuffCrab]

@boba7772 Amen!!

[@PoohStickProductions]

so much blackness!!!

[@basailquazzy]

Do you have legumes?

[@imjakey13579]

*stick instead of sick

[@palmerartigues1658]

Is it black cream?

[@Trippply]

There is no way

[@mimipastry]

My mistake he sounds like Jim Gaffigan

[@isaacrock2591]

Halarious

[@ltraina3353]

Omg, as a bartender, I’ve actually caught myself asking those sorts of dumb questions. You get so used to asking, it just happens automatically sometimes. Even when you don’t need to. Usually I catch it in time to make a joke of it, but it’s always embarrassing!

[@SuperMariozify22]

How many ways to answer the question? Two. Yes and no.