Brian Regan - The Emergency Room

[@gr8gracie858]

Years and years later and still whenever people ask me to rate anything on a scale of 1 to 10, my brain screams “Say 8, say 8!!” Even if it’s actually a 2 or something, I have to actively restrain myself from saying 8.

[@williamneuzil7403]

I will now be doing this as well.

[@freddybohannon]

Funny!

[@alanroberts7916]

7+1/2 flips them.out,btw.

[@elainemorris4806]

Me too!

[@SANDSCORCHER]

🤣👍🏻

[@risingsun_gt]

"Ok, you go in....TELL EM YOU'RE SHOT!" 🤣🤣 God Brian is so funny, I never get tired of his standup

[@patrick_dy3r]

"ASK 'EM IF THEY VALIDATE!"

[@BeautyGeekChic]

Working as an emergency nurse in level one trauma center , this has actually happened

[@Metal.mike89]

The way he says “shot” gets me every time

[@MrGritz7]

He is one of the best. Doesn't curse either. Impressive.

[@c.g.ryderii2405]

No political drive either. Politics and cursing has ruined stand-up.

[@jimbob6216]

Apparently you don't think certain words are cuss words. I heard him cuss.

[@changedname_8970]

Idky I feel like oversharing but, I grew up in the hood majority of my life. I’m a minority & I find myself relating to everything he talks about. Funny has no barriers

[@TearfulShadows]

@@jimbob6216 What did he say you consider cussing?

[@IHateNicolasCage]

It’s always hardest to work clean. Tons of credit to guys like Regan and Jim Gaffigan

[@aw4724]

His impersonation of a guy with a broken femur walking in makes me laugh so hard I'm literally helpless.

[@andersonash9059]

I’m just standing in my driveway enjoying a summer breeze n randomly thought of that n now I’m here. 😂😂

[@Metal.mike89]

Who had the *A U D A C I T Y ? !*

[@katelyngraygate3001]

" Can you park this cuz I need to *collapse i m m e d i a t e l y* "

[@adamant6375]

Minor spelling error. You fucked up.

[@adamant6375]

*Immediately

[@ginahill837]

​@@adamant6375 it's supposed to be like that

[@ShinkaTV]

I gotta say, it's been many a year, and this bit is still my favorite of all comedians. Damn it's funny.

[@dylanchristman978]

You are soo *RIGHT*

[@Tfattty]

Ono Northey I nearly passed out I laughed so hard. When he says, “Who in the hell!” I can’t stop dying...

[@myaccountvideos]

He’s so funny. Check out Dov Davidoff. I like Bill Burr too.

[@jeanettegallagher9916]

This is my favorite comedian bit ever.

[@jeanettegallagher9916]

@@myaccountvideos yo. Yes. Bill Burr is awesome. The banana pancakes not being sweet enough also gets me Everytime.

[@nothanks126]

“How would you rate your pain?” “Four stars.” Kills me every fucking time.

[@eyeseer1]

Valet at an emergency room parking lot is a brilliant idea.

[@IBWIV]

I was actually surprised in 2016 when I had to take my wife to the emergency room at a Seventh Day Adventist hospital in Orlando FL. They had FREE VALET PARKING! And not long after I had seen this bit. :D

[@eyeseer1]

@@IBWIV It would be kind of low of a hospital to charge you for a valet service in an emergency situation.

[@chrisconley8583]

eyeseer1 I did valet parking for at a hospitals for years. The problem is if they didn’t charge for emergencies, everyone would be an emergency. In fairness the hospitals I worked at didn’t whack people too hard, just enough to pay for us. I think it was $2 for 4 hours, $8 for 8 hours or all day and that was in a major city in the northeast. I saw some pretty crazy shit and strangely got to talk to some people of notoriety.

[@dennishanes9728]

@@chrisconley8583 I could just see it now if hospitals with valet parking for the ER were charging: "sir, that's a $25 charge and we only accept cash. you can go down the block to the ATM....sir...sir...when he regains consciousness we'll let this charge slide."

[@kellysong2256]

For years whenever my daughter has had stomach pain, she's said "My insides wanna be on my outside" 😂 It makes us laugh every single time

[@rockrobful]

Saw him live last night......A dream come true and he didn't dissapoint.

[@funtimemai1119]

"cAN i pARk Over THEre Im DyInG. Oh YoUr DyiNG tOO Ok" LMFAO

[@sampup7]

This guy doesn’t get enough recognition, in my opinion. He’s hilarious!❤😂

[@empress8411]

EMT here - that is EXACTLY how people call for an ambulance......

[@jamesjohnson1205]

Exactly, EMT 16yrs. Can you have the the Ambulance shut down early" ,

[@chloekit4861]

EmpressReads what’s it like being an emt for hypochondriacs who call for a “tummy ache” lol

[@catherineshaw1122]

@@chloekit4861 no one calls an ambulance for a tummy ache. You have to fight with your insurance and if they refuse, it's over a grand. If someone calls, they're in excruciating pain.

[@freeradical77]

@@catherineshaw1122 unless they're on medicaid, then they'll call for a hangnail.

[@JamesMeyer2]

Childbirth while having a broken femur is actually the secret 11 on a pain scale of 1-10.

[@lonesoldier4508]

You know too much. They will hunt you down soon...

[@WinslowLeach1974]

Female Spinal Tap member in the emergency room....."This pain goes to 11"

[@icantthinkofagoodname7992]

@@WinslowLeach1974 I was just about to say!

[@alanroberts7916]

But the real fun begins when they give you the remote that calls the head nurse. BUT THEY ARE TOO fuck'n busy taking the guy in the bed next to you to the morgue. So my only option left is to screem out at the top of my lungs "HELP ME YOU FN SADIISTICAL. BITCHES!!!." THEN OUT COMES THEIR BIGGEST MEANIST UGLIEST NURSES WHO YELL AT YOU FOR CALLING THEM. AND THIS ALL HAPPENS IN THE ICU, UNTIL YOU GRADUATE TO THE PHYSICAL THERAPY UNIT." ALL YE ARE DAMED WHO ENTER HERE!

[@katherinefenn3627]

So does having a 9 inch open laparotomy scar and giving birth 3 days later. Owie

[@patriciafascina4727]

“Morphine? That’s what they gave the guy in Saving Private Ryan right before he DIED!’ I lost it. 🤣 Rip Wade

[@Chynabethley011]

😂😂

[@Chynabethley011]

Thanks for your love and support I really appreciate y'all for been great fan of mine Where are you commenting from?

[@ricklummert5650]

Say 8 say 8

[@DougHanson2769]

That’s too funny

[@jeanettegallagher9916]

Everytime I see this, I lose it at, “can you come get me?” 🤣 It is just laughing from there before I can catch my breath.

[@proud2bpagan]

lol. when i had a bad case of food posioning, i danged near did just that. pretty sure i would've told them that i'd be lying on the floor...it was that bad.

[@claytose01]

Brian Regan is the GOAT of clean, witty comedy!

[@robertclark8332]

Love this guy. Saw him in OKC. My face hurt for 2 days from laughing! ✌️

[@PhantomPinetree]

“I’m only *IMPLODING* “ I lost it XD

[@andrewdaniels3063]

"How would you describe your pain?" "It is severe enough that I have paid up front $350 to even consent to be treated."

[@huskerpower1541]

WHO IN THE HELL HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY HE WAS AT A LEVEL 10?!?!?!! GIVE ME A SLEDGEHAMMER I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT 10 IS ALL ABOUT!!!!! MISTER TUMMY ACHE!!!!😂😂😂

[@proud2bpagan]

I've only experienced a femur break vicariously, my dad had his pulverized by a drunk driver back in 1996, but I'm pretty sure,having seen what he went through pain wise, I doubt he'd be grabbin' a sledgehammer,lol.

[@KingOfHockeyNow]

Then as he limps back to the femur ward: “AHHHHH!!!!”

[@changedname_8970]

I was dyin when he said that lmboo

[@tigerzbane156]

I would definitely rate the pain in my chest after laughing so hard from this video as two enthusiastic thumbs up!

[@alexandermiller5910]

Are you alive

[@davidrpriest]

I saw Brian Regan open up for Jerry Seinfeld in Houston in the 90s. That was a good night.

[@catherineshaw1122]

Odd that Regan would open for anyone then, he was a headliner by 1990.

[@katesampleseverything]

"How are you today?" "I'm on a gerney!" 😂😂 I need to use this if I'm ever in the hospital.

[@biscuitman111]

No after you! Merge every body. Merge. I'm only imploding!

[@Ranakade]

This never gets old. And he didn't even swear. Pure gold 🤣🤣🤣🙌🙌🙌

[@connormanke5841]

what seems to b the problem all my insides want to n on my outside, but I'm no doctor

[@timr8971]

One of the best standups ever.

[@catherineshaw1122]

We can all thank Brian for the fact that many hospitals now have valet parking, lol. Still waiting on the canon ball wound ointment.

[@davedawave4705]

Yeah, hospitals in Beverly Hills and the Hamptons have valet parking... and brunch for those in the waiting rooms.

[@loginnamejon]

In case you wonder if God has a since of humor; I was playing soccer tonight (I’m 31) and I blew my knee out. I’m lying in my bed in pain and this video pops up. Haha

[@kathypichey4306]

Hope you heal fast with no ailments to the knee GOD knew you needed cheering up. And he gave you a wonderful sense of humor best wishes and a prayer being sent to you.

[@MrAbsalomdavid]

Thank your spy device!

[@Shawn-ej9vf]

God really?? if you ever actually talk to this so-called god tell him to kiss my fucking ass

[@Pakkens_Backyard]

um.. OUCH.. excruciating.. horrific.. 4 stars!!

[@smartarts9993]

Two enthusiastic thumbs up!!👍👍

[@0193project]

Crazy how I got this recommendation the night after my visit to an ER last night. So true! Brian is definitely my favorite comedian. He's the best

[@johnbattiest3061]

What I dig about Brian is every time I've seen him he has all new material,and it's always over the top hilarious.

[@JJStetson]

Hands down one of the funniest bits in all of comedy.

[@assalhaddad38]

Immaculate wording of the joke...genius! I'm not laughing anymore... Just admiring how he structured the joke... Perfection!

[@jamesbockenstette4332]

Best ever and he is not vulgar.

[@desireetrent3881]

“Merge, everybody merge!” Literally pops in my head all the time lol 😂

[@nicholewojtanowski43]

Still LOVE this guy! He is still one of the best!

[@sunnydaze2359]

Reminds me a little bit of Jim Carrey’s humor.

[@funnygirl2069]

Tell em your shot!

[@Drummer4life86]

*youre

[@shuatock8216]

@Manny 😑

[@p.d8423]

Oddly enough - our local hospital DOES have valet parking at the ER. For real.

[@sanv3275]

where do you live and do you have to pay for that service?

[@catherineshaw1122]

I honestly believe this bit helped to usher that in. When he did this special, none of them had it. Now, it's everywhere.

[@darylbernard2616]

Last night I was in terrible pain and had to drive myself to the ER - quite the adventurous drive. I definitely said 8...and I was certainly out-moaning the mystery patient on the other side of the curtain in my luxurious half-room. Turns out I have a kidney stone. 100% the worst pain I've ever felt. Not even close. The morphine certainly helped. Thank you, Brian Regan.

[@MsMamatube]

Oh that's the WORST & I've birthed babies lol😂

[@TheDhammond]

I’ve loved Brian Regan forever! Agreed- clean jokes that are just killers!!! He’s the BEST!!!

[@alanroberts7916]

Nothing's as funny as the truth!!!

[@andrewsmith9174]

This gave me hysterical flashbacks to driving myself to the hospital with a lodged gall stone. Pain so bad I threw up. I hit every red light, and at the Emergency Room valet parking I was stuck behind people casually coming to visit. I literally left my running car at the driveway and thankfully one of my boys from my U-19 soccer team was working there and saw me staggering away from my car. When I entered, barely standing, no one would acknowledge me and I had to almost force a lady to check me in. On the ward, on the gurney (that made me laugh) they tried a regular pain killer and I laughed it off. They gave me blessed morphine. I was ready to go home right there. Gall bladder was removed the next day. It was my own tragic comedy. I was released too late to get the oxy script filled at the pharmacy. I spent the first night without painkillers.

[@elainemorris4806]

Omg, how you got through the 1st night without pain meds is beyond me. Love your story. I mean, it's something you can laugh about now. Brian's stand up is too funny, and true.

[@andrewsmith9174]

@@elainemorris4806, to be honest, being in such blind pain that I threw up my own dinner, with my youngest son that was already breaking my balls about what I had cooked to say,”I told you the dinner was bad.” Diving myself to find care for whatever this was, I went first to a walk-in at just 7:00pm and it was closed! Stopped at every damn light all the way to the emergency room, etc. Going without meds was the least pain I had felt since it started. Thanks for enjoying the story. Not my first time driving myself to the emergency room with a crazy injury though.

[@johngeverett]

I thought I had heard all his stuff, but this was new to me. Brian is a hilarious comedian without the vulgarity and crudity that seems to predominate nowadays.

[@helenfrederick2352]

Excellent observation. I notice the cussing and bathroom humor when it there. Don't particularly go for it. Laughing at this and didn't even notice. Good man for pointing it out.

[@catherineshaw1122]

That's one of his trademarks. But he did do a bit once, when I worked for a club in Chicago where he headlined for a week, that was apparently infamous and somewhat of a secret. Every comic in town came to see it, he did it one time, for the midnight show on Saturday. He ends up saying the F word about 14 times but it's such a perfectly crafted joke, about diagramming sentences, everyone was DYING. I was damn lucky to be there to see it, lol.

[@helenfrederick2352]

Don't see comedians too often. I don't have much of a sense of humor. But This guy is good. I even enjoyed him. Great take on a good subject matter.

[@StevenBanks123]

He has really good body english

[@kornova4343]

"Body english"

[@farmsgrace341]

Clearly that's Spanish!

[@pebsopod3431]

I don't speak italian

[@c.g.ryderii2405]

Speaks English, body language is Guatemalan.

[@savahbejin7511]

I was born with body English but I picked up some body language along the way.

[@ImjustsayinDetroit]

Top 3 funniest bit's I've ever heard!

[@treetrain]

I love his little swagger bounce

[@davidmckesey7119]

We all do lol

[@michaelswisher9574]

This has gotta be the best 8 minutes in standup ever

[@forrest1105]

How does this not have millions of views?? Love this guy

[@paulkossak7761]

Works completely clean. Amazing

[@jcjames375]

Was in the ER last night and all I could think about - besides my dislocated shoulder - was “Say 8, say 8”

[@lurcharoni]

This special was Brian Regan's pinnacle ... this is in the Top 10 of all comedy specials ... up there with Hilarious and the like ...

[@allans7281]

He’s a little bop n smirk on his face in between skits is hilarious

[@kawasakiwhiptwo5821]

Jim Gaffigan and Brian Regan, the kings of clean comedy. 🤣

[@MrApollonox]

But it's sad that Gaffigan is a lefty hack.

[@catherineshaw1122]

Before SNL, Norm Mcdonald was totally clean, never swore. Never drank, either, but when he came to headline for a week in our club in Chicago...well, we put a stop to that, lol.

[@Metal.mike89]

@@MrApollonoxlol aww because he spoke against Trump? You poor wittle baby.. 🤣

[@MrApollonox]

@@Metal.mike89Wow, what a clever comment. So original. Whatever helps you feel more like a man, soy boy.

[@mrpicky1868]

one of the most regarded comedians by any pro comedian and still somehow not world famous

[@catherineshaw1122]

He does very well, though. Living legend and well paid.

[@mrpicky1868]

@@catherineshaw1122 i was trying to say i think his Specials are better then Harts or Seinfelds. much less success . i know he is doing well. its obvious

[@catherineshaw1122]

@@mrpicky1868 have you seen him on the series, Loudermilk? It's a good show and he gets to be funny but also do dramatic work and he's quite good at it.

[@connormanke5841]

Happy 8 day, did u get sum 8? merge everybody merge

[@xyro3633]

I first saw this in middle school, and the sledgehammer bit still knocks my socks off

[@lorenamares1427]

This got me through my emergency room experiences.

[@dancefan9000]

I will forever think “How would you rate your pain?” “4 stars! Two enthusiastic thumbs up!” When anyone asks/talks about pain.

[@florencemclaughlin3606]

Why hasn't this genius of comedy, Brian, been on Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee??!

[@kevinkrause5798]

He definitely has been. There are clips of the show on KZbin.

[@playc.holder6432]

For my money, Brian Regan is the funniest comic of all time. I've seen him live a few times and it's non-stop laughter the whole way.

[@KCH1027]

My 11 y.o. son fell snowboarding yesterday and when we asked him his pain level he said "8" and I immediately thought of this skit. Turns out he did fracture his collarbone but he was good with 3 chewable Tylenol instead of the morphine!

[@MrPAULONEAL]

Your body develops a tolerance...

[@HazeLmao]

@@MrPAULONEAL okay?

[@TheRoacker123]

To this day I still say negative eleventeen

[@randallledbetter1574]

A fantastic clean comedian. Such a rare commodity these days.

[@bobbiemcdaniel2116]

I love him! ❤️ He’s coming to my city in December 2022! I’m so excited!! He’s the best! Thank you Brian!! I can’t wait to see you!💕

[@LukeSimpson]

I just started a job as a nurse at a hospital and this video was part of our orientation.

[@adrienneharris8275]

I’ve had morphine one time. I was having severe chest pain, so after making sure I wasn’t having a heart attack, they gave me morphine for the pain. Five minutes later, I had absolutely no filter on what I was saying. I was saying anything and everything that came to mind! Best medicine I’ve ever had!

[@rosemaryissa-interiorwellb5466]

I watch this constantly it's friggin hysterical

[@cheyennechutskoff6496]

Say 8 say 8 best thing ever

[@davecrupel2817]

"Can i park this thing? Im gonna _die!"_

[@CameronBrtnik]

The funniest bit I’ve ever seen , and somehow funnier every time I watch it

[@Maisysmumma]

OK Brian Regan is so funny, and so down to earth and so real! It’s humor that everyone can get! Now imagine trying to thread a needle while you’re laughing so hard your stomach hurts. Warning do not try to sew while listening to Brian Regan!

[@dwaynesmith2816]

Go in.....tell em' your shot 😂😂😂

[@ClifHaley]

Easily one of the best stand up bits in recorded history.

[@TK0_23_]

Who had the AUDACITY to say they were at a level 10! My favorite Regan line.

[@slayer8actual]

I've been in several motorcycle accidents (former racer, test rider) and since they were only moderately painful, I only got your standard pain medications that maybe or maybe not helped to take the edge off the pain. It was rare that I ever finished the full prescription because I just didn't need them or they didn't work. Then there was that one time I had a very serious accident and had to receive morphine for the pain...... All I can say is if you are ever asked about your pain level just say 8. You really need to say 8. Say 8.

[@swimpy3838]

Lol...

[@halfdollar86]

I had to drop my wife off at the door and rush to park. She was in labor. The nurse was waiting for us with a wheelchair. The nurse called and said..... “You better hurry up if you want to be here when this baby gets here”. Within 5 minutes of me being in the room we were holding our baby boy. So I can feel your pain.

[@joebuckaroo82]

Having recently had to go to the emergency room, I can relate, especially regarding the rate your pain stuff. How does anyone even know how to do that?

[@HeremHD]

Oh my gosh I'm dying of laughter.

[@moabfool]

Last time I went to the ER for myself I walked in, leaned against the counter, and said "I think I have a kidney stone." The lady at the counter said "I believe you." That was after going into the bathroom at a gas station and realizing that going into the bathroom at a gas station without your cellphone when you're in excruciating pain is a bad plan. That was a great way to start a vacation. Kudos to the cleaning crew at the condo we rented. That toilet was pristine. 10/10, would puke there again. When I was a kid my dad dropped me off at the ER so he could park the car. "Just go in. They'll know who you are." They did 😂

[@davecrupel2817]

"You know what must be hell? Giving birth when your femur bone is cracked." *NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!* NOOOOOO! nooooooooooooo X( owwwwwwwwww

[@tiptopmartinez]

Love this dude!

[@patg-money225]

"It's gotta be HELL TO WORK IN THIS ENVIRONMENT!!!"....LOL

[@jtmoore662]

If anyone ever says to me, "what seems to be the problem" I always say, "well it seeeeems....." and do that with my finger around my head

[@cecillegravelle2590]

Norm Macdonald referred me to Brian and it did not disappoint 👌RIP NORM 🙏

[@catherineshaw1122]

Interestingly, both headlined a club where I worked in 1990, and both were my favourites, always will be. Back then, Norm never swore onstage and never drank off stage, until he went out with us after his show one night...i felt like I had corrupted an innocent, lol. The next day, he had to leave the stage halfway through his set to puke, I felt so bad!

[@cecillegravelle2590]

@@catherineshaw1122 that must have been fun. (not the puking part)

[@catherineshaw1122]

@@cecillegravelle2590 the whole week was amazing, I got to see every single set, and hanging out with him until he basically passed out in his hotel room, lol. Priceless. I'm sad he's gone so soon.

[@Chippy3]

I love this guy. 😂

[@manny5273]

I love you too :)

[@shuatock8216]

:^)

[@jenniferhonohan4278]

This is a great bit but also check out the one where he talks about getting the patent for the ironing board. Hysterical!!!

[@proud2bpagan]

"I'll just be lying on the floor" Sounds like me on a hot summer night when we didn't have air conditioning and I ate a bad tuna fish sandwich,and my then-wife couldn't get someone to come cover for her so she could take me to the e.r.

[@lindacassell5472]

I drove myself to the er last week and said 8 and got Morphine

[@SANDSCORCHER]

Brian’s hospital car park inner monologue driving music is a sheer delight 😆👍🏻

[@jeffwade9052]

This dude is straight up hilarious! He is right up there with Jim Breuer as one of the best.

[@henrychaikin]

thanks Brian, still one of the funniest humans

[@johnbeard7404]

Excellent. Thank you.

[@RandalBauska]

."..a negative eleventeen"

[@mikeheath2122]

I was at this taping. He was hilarious. Didn't even have to restart any bits for the recording.

[@Clownworldmatrixviewer]

When my femur was shattered up near the hip bone and I had been dragged off of a mountain and put into three different vehicles, and delivered to the hospital. I was in absolute 10 level agony. I was screaming and I couldn’t see. Eventually, I saw the head of the emergency ward, screaming into my face that I should not be screaming anymore. I stopped screaming, but I’m pretty sure it was because they had already injected me with really powerful pain medication .🙏

[@tattooed92]

it's killing me...I'm not sure if you remember that part 😂

[@Metal.mike89]

I want to play this next time I have to go to the hospital.

[@jredbaron96]

I recently had to drive myself to the ER for appendicitis and I kept thinking of this during the night.