Bride Asks Her Friend To Leave Bridal Party Causing DRAMA! r/AITA

[@kathybeckford3592]

Mac 'n Cheese: Sounds like the parents are purposely trying to make the kid sick. If this doesn't phase them what else are they doing to the kid? If this is a common occurrence his esophagus will get damaged from all the acid and he'll become malnourished from not getting nutrients. Apartment: Ex is a tenant and new BF's overstepping boundaries trying to control who stays in someone's house. Him not taking her to prom sounds like a good idea!

[@pansprayers]

My stepmother did this sh*t. My half brother and I have a frustratingly long list of allergies. I wouldn't order stuff that made me sick (even if I was screamed at as a result), but my 14 year younger brother, understandably, didn't understand. She just refused to say no, or - HEY - NOT MAKE THE FOOD. Now, our teeth and entire digestive systems are completely screwed up as adults (because she'd lie about ingredients until I'd predictably get violently ill). Screw these parents.

[@blackghostart308]

I agree. And with the cps line of thinking, it's at minimum negligence and maximum of child abuse, but I would just say negligence based on the parents laissez-faire attitude.

[@kathybeckford3592]

@@pansprayers So sad to hear, that's horrible! I spent a few years in the past learning about controlling/abusive behavior but it never ceases to astound me what horrible ways people do it!

[@jackspring7709]

Story 2: At the beginning I thought maybe the AH - but after hearing all that: what a bunch of nasty freaks. Defo NTA, you were very respectful to these *sswipes and the abuse you got in return shames the lot of them. Keeping your bio Dad just out of arm's reach, then blocking you. Leave them in the gutter you found them in. Oh - and your "friends" are major AHs who have never been through that. Maybe ditch those and get some non-AH friends. Can't believe the reactions from these redditors.

[@owl7072]

I was thinking the same thing as well, but then I heard the part about the ex insulting him for literally no reason and siblings blocking him out of nowhere and then all the comments were like "YTA you're not trying to connect at all! They're having a hard time and you're making it worse!" And I'm like "👁👄👁 huh" he just wants to see his dad and he's getting nothing but abuse for it and reddit is out here defending it like "You're harassing them! You deserve it! No wonder they blocked you!" 🚶🏻‍♂️

[@Cel3ere5]

Seriously! Reddit was over the top! They don't want to acknowledge the affair baby. They're the ones being unsympathetic. "Sins of the mother", what horse shit! No wonder why he cheated, she probably screeched bloody mary about the idea of divorce. I know someone who's like her, dragged out divorce 7 long years, they're both financially broke. But, she's right with Jesus, so it's okay! What a complete shrew.

[@leagueofdead569]

Yeah I don't think they are the AH. One commenter said that they didn't have the right to know their father but the father doesn't really have the right to hide from his kid. He was stupid enough to cheat and get someone pregnant so he should deal with the consequences.

[@AaaaNinja]

I have a feeling we're not getting the entire story. How did his conversations with them even go? Were they receptive at first until he said something? "I'm not interested in getting to know you I just want to hear from my dad" and they took that personally? And he seems to think that contacting his dad would solve something (to feel whole) when what he actually needs is therapy. It's not useful to make your own feelings of closure contingent on how other people respond. And what if he did get in touch with his dad and his expectations were too high and it doesn't make him "whole" at all?

[@FriedaMMartin]

NTA for story 3 because that’s freaking poisoning your child if there’s an allergy going on here. With enough exposure, it might be actually cause the child to start having worse, life-threatening issues

[@sarahwaller7584]

Story 2 ....NTA wow so the dad was a deadbeat and had an affair but OP is wrong for wanting some answers....I'm shocked at the commenters to be honest

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA the dad hasn't made anything clear. His ex wife and kids are the only ones saying anything. He has specifically said he doesn't want to get to know them. His dad is a separate story. He can show up on that deadbeat's door anytime with no issue.

[@martintownend3718]

I 100% agree.

[@sylvestercat1898]

That’s what I was thinking too. Also, she’s an ex-wife I don’t know why everyone was acting as if they were still together.

[@zerobolt9506]

Agreed

[@MrJpaynebb]

NAH because OP doesn't want a relationship with the 1/2 brothers and they don't seem to want him in their lives also. These feelings seem to be mutual all around. As for the dad tread carefully. OP might have the ability to track him down and show up at his doorstep but without contacting him 1st he may not get a friendly reception.

[@audreym3908]

Mark just picks out the ones that he agrees with, with some other comments to spice it up. So does markee.

[@belial3781]

story 4: love how taylor considers her prom date chances more important than making someone homeless. Taylor needs to take some time to think long and hard about basic human decency

[@tamitami7396]

Yes, I too think CPS needs involved. That is horrid behavior of a parent. I love eggs, I eat eggs I get sick, I do not eat eggs!

[@ResidentMilf]

Right? I love oranges; they do not love me. I avoid oranges. Kids don't have the higher cognitive functions to reason that maybe they shouldn't eat that if it makes them sick, you have to do that FOR them. It's called *parenting.*

[@robinlondrow9263]

@@ResidentMilf perfectly said.

[@sweetoleander9048]

My god, that poor child. My 7 yr old daughter throws up when she has dairy. Took us a while to figure it out, but as soon as we realized we immediately stopped giving it to her. It made it hard for her to go potty and her tummy was big and rock hard. She would vomit within hours of it. So bad for their gut health. Seems like a different form of child neglect.

[@justaperson4656]

Sounds like lactose intolerance (speaking from experience) and in my case it got better with age and I do have moderate amounts of full cream milk (despite mum's protests), try her on lactose free milk, bitter as it may be it's a much better option. If that doesn't work, oat milk is a great substitute :)

[@mothertrucker936]

Story 3: NTA and you’re absolutely right. You should be able to refuse service if they insist and yes call CPS if they pull a fit. I’d hate to be sitting next to that table and see, smell, heart vomit. It’s disgusting and potentially making you lose money if clients walk out

[@carolroberts4614]

I would have to leave straight away !

[@ajunkersgamble6689]

Plus if you don't know what's going on you'd probably think that the kid is violently ill with some kind of disease or something and the parents are bringing their sick kid out cause if the "perfect family" doesn't go out together then what will the neighbors think! R/sarcasm Honestly I'd fucking pay the bill and leave, and leave a good tip cause the poor staff needs to clean that shit up.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@ajunkersgamble6689 right! It’s unbelievable that these shitty parents are ruining an evening out for everyone. Plus, the first reactions to an allergy are sometimes more like a warning and the reactions eventually get worse such as anaphylaxis. You never take chances with allergies period.

[@ajunkersgamble6689]

@@mothertrucker936 EXACTLY! *NEVER TAKE CHANCES WITH ALLERGIES*! if I had a kid and they got *violently* ill after eating something I'd pay the bill and haul-ass to the hospital to find out what's wrong with my kid. Not just sit there and go "oh this happens when they eat this food" while my kid could be seriously in pain. That mom needs to get it through her head that if your kid is *vomiting* everytime they eat a certain food, THEN MAYBE NOT GIVE HE OR SHE THAT FOOD!

[@mothertrucker936]

@@ajunkersgamble6689 some people shouldn’t have children. Their stupidity is unbelievable.

[@Tara........]

The bride picked the wrong person to be in her bridal party. When I've been in bridal parties, I've made sure I could afford it before I accepted. Other potential attendants should do the same thing.

[@TheNormExperience]

I’m confused how this wasn’t an ESH - surely if one bridesmaid helped plan the bachelorette party and the price of a ticket each was $200, and then she announces *she’s* only spending $150 to go expecting the other bridesmaids or bride or someone else to pick up the slack then she’s an ahole also? Like she could always just NOT go... The other bridesmaid is an adult as well - she could have just said thanks but no to being a bridesmaid, to planning stuff, to going...she has to take responsibility here too for agreeing to be in the bridal party but decide she gets to do less putting all that stress onto the other people who didn’t agree to do this.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@TheNormExperience yea this

[@Flufferz626]

@@TheNormExperience bridezilla probably specified the venue and was making a bridesmaid plan (wtf no) whilst spending money. Reminds me of a cake maker who baked the wedding cake but couldn't afford the bachelorette party and dress. Bride got a free cake and booted the friend from the bridal party. Like seriously?

[@sltslt24]

@@Flufferz626 that doesn't make sense because Katie planned it. So the bride literally had no hand in it and in her update she

[@tsunderemonarch4703]

Story 2: The YTA verdicts on this one is so irritating to me. All the information being relayed to OP is provided by everyone BUT the father! The father hasn't made anything clear to OP because they haven't actually spoken! How do we even know if OP's father has even been told about any of this?

[@zerobolt9506]

Gotta say I at first thought you were calling OP the AH, I just read the YTA part, starting reading and then thought if they're calling OP the AH, why does it sound like their on OP's side 😂😂

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

Op is 32 and everyone wants him to stay away. Seems like he should stay in his lane, he's going to far, it may not be his mother who's the bad person.

[@missluciddreams3472]

Story three: wtf? CPS definitely needs to b called. Story four: NTA...Joe sounds jealous

[@Acidfunkish]

Why... should a random stranger have to be cleaning up vomit EVERY SINGLE TIME a kid orders mac & cheese? Screw that. Sounds like they're taking him out for mac & cheese, just so someone else has to clean up his mess. 🤷‍♀️ What in the fork? NTA.

[@cameronmercuryhollis3330]

Second story: why is everyone making OP out to be some terrible person who’s in the wrong for wanting to know anything about the other half of him? He was abandoned as a baby and he just wants to talk to his bio father and everyone’s making it seem like everything wrong in this situation it on him when in reality bio father should feel obligated to talk to OP at the very least plus it seems his older brother lead him onto believe he would get to talk to his bio father even though they clearly were never gonna do that

[@wmdkitty]

Doesn't justify harassment.

[@cameronmercuryhollis3330]

@@wmdkitty if THATS what you justify as harassment then wow you haven’t seen much, the brother purposely lead him on and dragged it out when he could have blocked him immediately like the other people do in my mind the brother continued to talk to him and continued on with it in my opinion harassment would be things like finder them on other socials or finding their number but no he talked to them until he got blocked and now he’s still going after the person he was originally wanting like he always planned

[@marlonmontelhiggins8570]

@@wmdkitty - Are you really that dense, or are you just commenting such drivel as this to get a reaction? What the OP was doing was *not* harassment. If this were, there wouldn't exist such a series as Long Lost Family. Besides, it wasn't his fault that his biological father decided to dip his pork sword into his mother to inadvertently produce him.

[@afroprince5262]

@@wmdkitty shut up

[@skylar6301]

Story 2, OP does have a right to know their familial medical history if it's at all possible, which it clearly is, and I'd say it's not even wrong to say OP has a right to express their feelings about their father to him, perhaps in a letter. I think OP isn't being that much of an asshole but going to their father's house would be too much.

[@eggarino]

That third story... poor kid. If he didn’t even try to get to the bathroom to vomit then this must be a common occurrence for him. NTA and those parents need a big slap in the face to actually get them to take care of their kid

[@faeb.9618]

sounds like the kid might be heavily lactose intolerant and the parents either think if he keeps eating lactose it'll go away or they just don't think it's a big deal and so refuse to tell him/make him aware of how his condition works

[@lsmmoore1]

@@faeb.9618 I think so too. I immediately thought "lactose intolerance". And "parents ignoring it". I've heard the same thing happens with food allergies sometimes - if the person doesn't die, sometimes allergies, especially less common ones, get ignored. Never mind that sometimes allergies and food sensitivities can get WORSE with further exposure, and it's a bad idea to mess with those conditions without medical supervision. And you need medical supervision if the aim is to treat a food sensitivity/allergy. And if it's a sensory sensitivity, forget it, even with medical supervision, if the person isn't clinically deficient it's not worth it because "building up tolerance" to a sensory stimulus is a complete wild card with such a condition and can sometimes either not happen at all or come at the expense of something equally useful - and we don't have enough scientific understanding to know how to work with that condition as of yet, not when you still have folks sometimes debating its existence even though no, it's not normal to feel flu-like aches on certain body parts (esp. the palm) when you lightly stroke it with a finger, and yes, I feel that every time, always have. And yes, sometimes sensory sensitivities sometimes cause people to throw up foods too (though in that case, it would be something you dislike, hence the "sensory sensitivity" thing - a very strong dislike that isn't usually worth overcoming unless the only other alternative is literal starvation - and no, that isn't the kid's issue or he wouldn't keep ordering the mac and cheese).

[@pippo17173]

@@faeb.9618 sounds like we got a case of r/raisebynarcisisit.

[@pippo17173]

@@lsmmoore1 Now hearing this story, I think I remember some youtuber cover a story from r/entitledparents about how the mother and father did this to their own kid and it took until today in college for op to figure it out. Its fucked up.

[@t.matthies3049]

@@lsmmoore1 OP definitely did the right thing. It sounds like she was politely blunt with the parents, and considering they were allowing their kid to choose a food that's essentially poisonous to them, that's about as much consideration as could reasonably be shown to the parents. If she hadn't called the parents out, OP would be complicit in what they were doing to their child.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

I am currently faced with the greatest dilemma of the day. A test of my will. Finals or waffle... finals or waffle... finals or waffle...

[@raptorpeep2622]

finals need to be done now, waffle will not run away from you, waffle will stay with you and help you in your times of need. do what you must, and waffle will greet you when you are finished

[@LadyJoolree]

As Iron Man would say in your situation, 'Finals... then Waffle after' 🧇

[@teetimedolls807]

me too lmao!!! I hamster the video's and listen to them in the morning when getting up and ready!

[@sarahraisingmyvoice]

Yes! We will be here when you finish:) and if you wait, there will be MORE waffle to enjoy! But if you’ve got the self-discipline to watch just one, use it as a reward/mental break! Take a walk and listen to one episode on your phone as a study break! Best of luck:)

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

The mac and cheese story: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS WHO GIVE THEIR CHILD SOMETHING THEY CAN'T HAVE? Oh my god, this is just... I am going to stop here because I like having my KZbin account.

[@mbyerly9680]

And what about all those other people enjoying their meals then a kid vomits all over the place. The sound, the smell, blech. I'm a sympathetic heaver. I might lose my meal after that.

[@littleflame5530]

The macaroni situation I'd call CPS. The acid erodes the esophagus. Repeated vomiting also trains the gag reflex to automatically throw up after time. This is abuse.

[@OverTheMoon891]

Story 3: NTA!!! That child is either celiac or lactose intolerant. Parents sound like they're in denial about that and honestly? If it wasn't you giving them a harsh dose of reality it would be someone else calling CPS on a clear case of child neglect.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

I don't get all the crazy drama over weddings. I wanted to marry the love of my life. I wanted our family to have a fun party. I wanted my future nieces and nephews to not be bored out of their skulls. So 5 children from the ages of 10 to 3 were our bridesmaids and groomsmen. The 3 year old had a bubble wand and was in charge of chaos. They were happy, and happy kids with things to do don't throw fits. And at some ages, give them a job and they take it so very seriously.

[@SilverAce3]

I feel like if you accept a major role in a wedding party you are agreeing to put in effort not dip after 5 minutes. Like effort is required, you can just be a guest if you don't want to put in any effort. The higher role has more responsibility.

[@sylvestercat1898]

Yeah totally, it’s fine that she doesn’t have the finances to help out with the wedding. But, she didn’t make this clear with the bride until much later. Also, she didn’t have to agree to help planning the bridal party. But she did and it wasn’t cool that she said that she forgot after the bride asked how things were going a month later. She took on something that requires time, she shouldn’t have signed on or just left early if she couldn’t properly handle it.

[@sfsin3380]

Ya I think the commenters misunderstood what OP was saying. Due to the bit about Kate not having an budget plans sounds to me Kate was the one coming with the expensive plans then said she couldn't afford to pay her share of those plans.

[@ceciliacalvin9469]

Story 2: maybe OP should find dad’s address and write him a letter.

[@sws212]

It's an old story but the general gist is OP was bordering on straight up harassment. They needs to let it go.

[@rachelcrawford1977]

@@sws212 he only found the ex and the half brothers he asked for info and they refused to give it to me it sounds like the family is blocking op from having a relationship. He never found dad and when asked they refused to help. Your assumption is that he is not interested but from how mom and half brothers acted in guessing it’s them protecting mom not dad

[@joimumu]

@@sws212 he should at least hear from his father the half brothers are taking it away from Op and Op father

[@dollface2907]

From the look of if the both mothers are pieces of shit so is the youngest son, it sounds like the family are religious and they aren't tell the father what's happening hoping to keep there "happy family"

[@christianvacchelli1953]

story 3: please someone call CPS on those parents, they obviously can't be bother to take care of their own child....... NTA btw

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Story 2. I wish we had the other sides of the story. From the sound of it, the half brothers are gate keeping the father. It shouldn't be their judgement if OP meets their dad. And as the story is told. We dont even know if the dad is being informed that OP is searching for them. Just showing up unannounced, though, would be a dick move. The commenters saying that dad obviously wants nothing to do with OP may not be entirely accurate. The one brother even said that if they approved of OP, they'd pass word along. At least, this is how the story read to me.

[@wmdkitty]

It sounds like OP left out pertinent details. They did not block him "for no reason", guaranteed.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

@@wmdkitty on the flip side, maybe the half brothers are getting financial aid from the dad, and dont want OP possibly making their money to be lessened with back child support. Unlikely, but if seen stuff like that in other stories. Honestly, it's the fathers choice to meet OP, and we have no proof the the father has refused that communication, dont even have evidence that the father knows OP is trying to get in touch. (Orher than the father bailing in the first place) also, with OP describing their mother in a not so positive light, she may have been the one to make the father stop communication. I find it odd that the father would bail on OP but not the other half siblings, who obviously have some communication with him. Which does kind of lean towards the mother having something to do with him not being around. There also seems to be no evidence that OPs mom even tried for child support. Probably not an accurate p.o.v. but I think it's something to think about.

[@malcolmholder3149]

Story 3. This has happened on numerous occasions and the mother confirms that if he eats Mac & cheese then he throws up. What is she smoking this is clearly an allergy of some sort. You and your manager were right to not serve that food to him and if you know where they live a notification to CPS would not be out of place. This is a form of child abuse. NTA

[@Lillypop93]

Story 1 NTA reddit just hates brides her friend knew what she was signing up for Story 2 NTA he wanted to contact his father not his brothers all they had to do was send him his bio father's # Story 3 NTA wow what a terrible mother Story 4 NTA Wow teach your kids empathy people

[@andreamunoz6088]

“I don’t feel like Katie is prioritising this” yeah no shit. It’s not her wedding. Maybe it’s me reading too much into this but could OP be jealous of Katie and her fiancé’s relationship?

[@pansprayers]

ESH. Then - wait for it - she shouldn't be a bride's maid. OP shouldn't have asked, but Katie should have either said no or noped out when the money/time issue came up. I still don't understand the concept of making a wedding party pay for their clothes, trips, ect. If the people getting married can't afford to spend the money required to outfit the party, then they need to scale back expectations. My wedding party didn't pay a dime, we were in a 2k budget, and everything was paid for by myself and husband.

[@lynnw7155]

This is why I would never be a bridesmaid. It becomes a full-time, very expensive job and you just get some bridezilla saying you didn't do enough to make HER day special. Nope.

[@cheerio3847]

@@pansprayers I'm old, almost 60, and I remember it used to be the bride's family bought the bridesmaids dresses and the groom's family rented the tuxes. Which is why in my area it was very common for members of the bride's family who sewed to make the dresses. After all, it was the style of dress then that you would never wear again, so nobody wanted to spend a lot! The bridesmaids did the young friends shower and an aunt did the family shower - always separate. The mother's were guests, never event holders. Back then both were low key not expensive events, just an excuse for someone to pull out their China and serve salads and finger sandwiches and cake. Bachelorette party a pub crawl if of age where everyone bought their own and took turns treating the bride.. underage was pizza, blockbuster movies and staying up most the night laughing and talking because once married, she would have diff priorities than lots of time with friends, so we kept it personal like old times in school. I just can't get used to these extravagant styles where it can cost a bridesmaid hundreds of dollars. Everyone seems to want something "special" to post to social media and show off in pictures or video. The meaning and feelings behind the events seem to get lost in the ME, ME all about ME stuff. I'm so glad I did not grow up in the social media and cell phone age, like the song says, breaking up was easier in the 90's and so were many things, including weddings!

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@cheerio3847 Not to mention, everything you say online is on record, and dumb stuff you wrote when you were a kid sticks with you forever. A joke in poor taste might get you fired. And I'm all for "cancelling" people who deserve it, but if it's clear someone's changed, that's just messed up.

[@sltslt24]

@@pansprayers I think it's more of what the bridal party wanted because the party was planned by the bridal party. Katie really should have just said no instead of taking it on. Like I think OP asked more so because she was the closet

[@delu3709]

The second story made me think about what I would do if I met my bio father again. Not that I would care that much.

[@Cel3ere5]

Story 2 was above Reddits pay grade. Jesus. They're not empathetic to OP. They don't know what it feels like to be an outcast and just wanting relatively basic closure.

[@hannahferris2331]

Story 4: anyone suspicious about how soon after Taylor started dating joe after the breakup, what if she is the uncomfortable one because she cheated on rob

[@Pastel_Dreams]

In all honesty, she sounds like a total 'Princess'

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea had my suspicions about that too.

[@dart.115]

Could be, or could be just a standard high school relationship. Unfortunately, it's pretty common to leave the "love of your life" to another person who started snapchatting them a week later

[@cheerio3847]

Yea, esp since Rob was 19 and out of HS. Once the cachet of dating an older guy faded, she wanted someone still in school who could be part of the HS drama, sport games, dances etc. Rob likely got tired of conversations all about school stuff he left behind years ago!

[@Cel3ere5]

I was wondering if Joe was even an actual factor and something Taylor just spun on her own. She's not ready for growing up yet. Rob has. Two different 'climates' that don't mesh well.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "You're fAmIlY! You should make more of an effort to cOnNeCt with them!" They....they literally blocked him for no reason how exactly is he supposed to do that?

[@wmdkitty]

Or they blocked him because he was harassing them.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

@@wmdkitty Its not harassment to ask questions.

[@threeducks157]

Can we take a minute to appreciate how shallow the daughter is? I mean she views her new bf as basically a prom date lol.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

@Pedro Lian bots

[@starwarriorterra8373]

@@terra_the_nightingale135 For future reference, it's better to silently report them when you see them. It's easily under the "unwanted commercial content or spam" umbrella, so you can report it for that reason.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

@@starwarriorterra8373 gotcha

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) I wouldn’t call her a bridezilla. More that person who doesn’t think things through, if that makes sense. OP didn’t handle the situation right. At least talk things through instead of drop the friend that sudden.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 3: Sounds like the kid has some kind of food intolerance. The mother is vile for allowing her child to continue to suffer. The manager should tell the family that if they keep insisting on allowing the kid to get sick all over the restaurant, they will not be allowed back. NTA story 4: She knew the rules before he moved in. Her "boyfriend" is the problem, not the guy who is living as a part of the family. The boyfriend needs to get over himself. Ask her if she would like to be homeless just because someone else started dating her. NTA

[@DarkAngel65989]

Story 1:I see a bit of ESH, OP is the ah, for keeping Katie that long and making her do things when she was dealing with things. However, it doesn't excuse her behavior on the way she treated OP and the other bridesmaid and how she acted in general. Story 2:ESH, OP is a bit of ah, for keep trying to contact them despite them blocking OP. However, the way the family treated him and calling OP's name, and blaming OP were disgusting and horrible. This isn't OP's fault it's the dad, they should redirect their anger toward the dad. Story 3:OP is not the ah, what is wrong with the mom? She is doing it on purpose since she knows she doesn't have to clean up the mess but that's disgusting and mess up, I feel bad for the kid, this has to be an abuse of some kind right? Story 4:OP is not the, ah, Rob was and probably still feeling the effect of his parent divorce and probably still have a bit of feeling over Talyor but is respecting her feeling and boundaries and like in the post he became part of the family. Also, OP and the fiance warn Taylor about this and OP is right this is between Joe and Taylor, I do believe Joe is controlling and somehow Jealous of Rob

[@Mewse1203]

May the heat of the Waffle Maker warm you when you're cold. Such a nice weekend, I got some gardening in.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

'I don't think that just being biologically related makes us family' 'I need my bio dad to feel whole' That contradicts... You need some therapy.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Taylor must’ve been cheating on Rob if she started dating Joe immediately after they broke up or Joe is a rebound.

[@faeb.9618]

that's what i was thinking, it sounds so weird that she'd just break up and move on so quickly unless she already wasn't interested in Rob anymore and just wanted this new guy. poor Rob deserved better

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

The first story, I disagree with Mark and most of the commenters. It didn't seem like it was a classist thing, it was a "katie doesn't care" thing. Remembering there is a bridal shower or bachelorette party doesn't require money, yet katie "forgot" there was one. Also, she isn't asking the bridesmaids to plan the entire wedding, just the bachelorette party, which is pretty standard practice. If katie knew she didn't want to help plan, participate in any of the plans or even remember there were planning dates and a party to attend, then it is incumbent on her to state that, not on OP to read her mind and figure it out in advance. katie is supposed to be a big girl, a full-grown adult, she can use her big girl words to say she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid or participate in bridesmaid's duties. Funny enough though, when OP decided to give katie what she wanted, and remove those duties from her to-do list, katie is still mad. So OP was damned if she did and damned if she didn't. She's NTA.

[@Lillypop93]

@Snowchild thank you 👏👏

[@lauracatania5063]

I’m wondering if that was a bridesmaidzilla story more than a bride story. Not the girl who got kicked out, but the other maids (or even just the maid of honor) who may have frozen her out as not a member of their mean girl clique. Bride is a minor villain but the others are worse

[@screamingladybug6006]

What sucks about the mac n cheese story is the poor kid throwing up and leaving hungry. I bet they don't even feed him after since they 'just went out to eat'. Poor kid.

[@jdd9993]

Joe has no right to give orders to Taylor's family about who lives on their property.

[@corvus4976]

Story 2: NTA The comments are disgusting. Can these people read? Poor OP has an awfull mother and wasn't able to meet his father. When he contacted the rest of the family, they treated him like shit. Calling him names was unnecessary. Child of an affair is always innocent. A grown woman didn't understand that. How bitter is she? Also, how hard is it to say, that they didn't want contact? Instead OP got instantly blocked or led on for no reason. There is nothing wrong in wanting some closure. I hope he gets to talk to his father. Story 4: NTA Rob seems to be a decent guy. He was simply in a bad situation. Never made a fuss, respected everyone and helped around the house even after the break up. I am happy OP let him stay. The daughter however, teenager or not, sounds so shallow. She cares more about feelings of her asshole boyfriend than someone in need. She knows the situation, she dated him! But it looks like prom is more important. Why would she bother if Rob ends up having nowhere to go. Does this girl even love Joe? OP should teach her empathy.

[@doggolovescheese1310]

Um...you could have called CPS for feeding their child an allergy food, thats horrible

[@moniquehunt4475]

The Mac and cheese story, as the waitress to serve them and notice the vomiting keeps occurring, ahh that’s a hard NO for the order. Is the child lactose intolerant and the mother keeps letting her rugrat order the Mac and cheese?? Maybe mama should clean up the vomit 🤮, this is simply beyond rude. OP, NTA!

[@dm9078]

Story 2 I have never listened to a story where the ESH applies. OP the half brothers, the ex wife, the dad and OP’s mom. OMG THEY ALL SUCK! Last story. In California and a few other states Rob may be able to claim he is a tenant. He most states he would be considered a guest. In my state you can kick a guest out anytime. But OP definitely NTA. She and her husband are real Bros.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

The restaurant story. I have two judgements. A "professional" judgement, and a personal judgement. The professional judgement is, YTA. Professionally, the actions were over stepping the personal boundary of the family. Though I feel that, in this situation, it should be a professionally accepted action. But as society stands, I'd have excused myself to speak to my manager about the situation. If this is an every visit occurrence, I'm sure they are aware of the situation, and they have the "professional" power and ability to refuse service. As I'm sure you can guess, my personal opinion is, NTA. They were witnessing the willful harm of a child, and spoke up in defense of the child, and that should never be viewed as an asshole move. Unfortunately "professionalism" doesn't follow those same guidelines. And OP is not a "mandatory reporter"

[@t.matthies3049]

I disagree about the professionalism one, although that may be because, in my country, every adult is legally responsible to report child abuse if they have reasonable grounds to suspect it happening. Plus, I've spent most of my working life in jobs where I am obligated to report regardless of local laws (I work internationally) so my views on what professionalism looks may be different from normal. Although, it does occur to me serving a child mac and cheese to a child when you've figured out that it's making a child sick would be participating in abuse of a child, could cause legal trouble for the restaurant (depending on the country), so you could argue OP's actions protected them from legal trouble.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

@@t.matthies3049 I'm in the US and I've seen coworkers get fired for way less. Do I agree with it? No. Usually the policy is to hand the situation over to the manager. I'm am very glad that the manager had OPs back. And I like your point of view of avoid legal trouble for the restaurant. In the US, the legal aspect would be covered by OP pointing out that it seems to make the child sick. As long as there are cameras with sound to protect the employee, the warning was out there, and kinda "frees" OP from from that trouble. I agree that the p.o.v. that OP may have be "unprofessional" is wrong, but here, that's often the sad truth.

[@t.matthies3049]

@@somerandoonyt9553 That's crazy to me. It must be a cultural difference than on my end.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

@@t.matthies3049 I agree. But living here, it's just normal to me. We may be the ones different from everywhere else. Example. Most places require to warn customers of ingredients that are common allergies, such as nuts, are in a dish. If the server warns there's nuts, the customer orders any way, and has a reaction, it's on the customer, and the restaurant is clear of liability. Though with how messed up our legal system can be, the customer may still win the lawsuit. :(

[@browniewin4121]

4) Op your daughter is not as 'level-headed (reasonable and grown up) as you seem to think. Joe is overly controlling and butting in to something that's none of his business. Good for you living up to your agreement and responsibility, absolutely NTA for this.

[@AaaaNinja]

Story 4, Rob's a tenant and him being there is the parent's business. He has tenant's rights. Landlords don't get to just kick out a resident on a whim. Not charging rent is pretty reasonable if he's going to college and being a good student and they're satisfied with that.

[@samurailevi49]

Story 2: YWBTA if you showed up on his doorstep. As for the brothers, NTA. It sounds like they’re rude, but they also may not want anything to do with you and you have to respect that.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 3: The kid knows it makes him sick and doesn't take responsibility for the mess he makes, in public no less. The parents should encourage him to find a different food, not the waitress. If anything, this is neglect. They aren't curbing an issue causing their child physical harm. Kinda reminds me of the baby story, where the mom feeds her infant food she can not digest.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the last story I get the feeling that your daughter broke up with him because she felt more connected somewhat to this new boyfriend of hers. And if he just now starting to get in the picture and telling her how things are going to be especially in your own house you might want to have a serious conversation with your daughter because I get the feeling that this is one of those guys that is willing to basically say straight up either you break up with him or I break up with you and tell everybody that you're still with the dude. To me this sounds like some emotional abusive situation where it's only going to get worse. And I also get the feeling that she still has feelings for her ex but she doesn't want to admit it. My advice is simple talk to your daughter about how she really feels about the dude that she's currently with and her ex also do not kick out her ex because all you're going to do is basically driving further and further into a situation where he could end up taking his own life. He already feels uncomfortable that he can't go into the living room because his ex new boyfriend doesn't want him there you throwing him out is only going to think while they didn't want me to begin with

[@jdd9993]

The parents are ridiculous & abusive for letting their child eat food he may be allergic to.

[@AlisonCasilli]

What kind of mother continues to let their child eat something that makes them throw up after eating it (definitely know it is that from that alone) AND thinks its ok to let a server clean it up every time?

[@ajunkersgamble6689]

Bruh if that guy showed up at his dad's door, the cops are probably going to get called and a restraining order put on op.

[@kittychaotic9450]

Honestly I doubt it because it was the ex wife and half brothers that were blocking op from reaching out to him. Dad might not be happy but I dont think he'd file a restraining order. Op said the dad wanted to be around but ops mom was the issue then so I think he'd at least answer a few questions.

[@ajunkersgamble6689]

@@kittychaotic9450 good point, but it all depends if op keeps pushing it. If he tries to force a relationship with the dad, things won't end well.

[@kittychaotic9450]

@@ajunkersgamble6689 100%. If OP talks to their dad and the dad wants nothing to do with them but OP keeps trying to push then they'd probably get a restraining order.

[@ajunkersgamble6689]

@@kittychaotic9450 exactly, I've seen this kind of stuff play out before and heard similar stories from the person getting the restraining order put on people doing what op is doing in similar stories, it never ends well for the person pushing the relationship . Did op ever say what his mom did?

[@vampire9545]

NTA for kicking her out of bridal party. She didn't step up when she "forgot". NTA for 4 half bros one. The dad needs to say NO.

[@ayeshawilliams88]

As a person with digestive issues, lost gallbladder over the summer.. this child sounds like he has an intolerance or allergy to dairy and his mom is only hurting him.. my issues were untreated as a child so as a result of that I have really bad stomach issues( every single day) it's draining and painful.. I take two medicines called protonix and carafate prescription strength tums and it's a life savor...poor child

[@jraxreviewsxcosplayxmore6934]

2: YWBTA for showing up on his doorstep. That’s mild stalker vibes. Also finding THREE numbers for your half brother is wild. You are forcing yourself on people who have said no thank you. 3: why are these parents abus!ng their child! Op is NTA! The poor kid. As a small child I was constantly throwing up (IBS and stomach bugs) being fed something that’s making them sick is cruel 4: NTA! Rob did nothing wrong. Taylor is 17 and does have a huge amount of maturing to do. Joe YTA

[@Graves933]

Story 2 I think everyone sucks here. The dad sucks because he had a child and is now refusing to even see this child. Mistake or not you owe you child one conversation at least. Obviously the other family sucks for taking their issues with their father out on Op. And OP sucks for wanting to fly out and plop himself on the father's doorstep, you can't show up unexpected like that.

[@MiZZVMN]

#1 sounds like a bridezilla.

[@MrMrSockhead]

Day: 122 of telling Mark that he is wonderful and deserves the world

[@badkitty4922]

I've missed seeing you, Darling!😘😘💖💖 Hope you're well!

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Day *8* of saying “same goes for you, fellow Waffle” 🧇🖤

[@chuckohalloran5586]

Story 3: the correct method is to add a vomit surcharge. Large enough that you don't mind cleaning the vomit, which will most likely be far more than they are willing to spend for mac and cheese.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #4: Not the butt. I also suspect the new boyfriend is more interested in getting the ex out cause he thinks that apartment would be nice to move into himself. Yes I have known people to push for someone to be kicked out of an apartment just to try to claim that apartment for themselves. It's sad but it happens.

[@aliquot8404]

🧇 *#4* 🥛🧃🧊☕🍶🧉🍵🥂🥃🍷 15:06 -- Am I the (Expletive)? *For refusing to throw my daughter's ex out??* Nope -- Your daughter's new boyfriend will just have to lump it. Joe's insecurity and jealousy are entirely his owner problems. 🚩 Joe sounds controlling. Joe and Taylor both need to grow up. Rob has done nothing wrong. You and your husband made an emotional bond and a commitment to him. Stick to it.

[@ServiceEevee]

Remember that someone always loves and respects you 💓

[@reptilelover2129]

Story three: I mean, IDK...It's not OP's call. Then again, letting your child throw up over and over is neglectful.

[@michaeldodson2300]

Story 2 sound more like dad has money and they don't want to share with another person. There's already 4 others to deal with.

[@cheerio3847]

The missing father... it always amazes me how nowadays if people can't locate someone on social media, they just give up and start trying to go thru family they can find! What's wrong with writing a letter to the guy and sending old fashioned mail. If you can show up at his door, you can send mail. You can look up directories online to find phone number possibilities and try some calls. Spend the ticket / hotel cash on a local PI and they can find him and even hand deliver your letter. Lots of choices not involving just showing up out of the blue and making him feel trapped. Also. The x family may have told him about you and that is why they started blocking you. He may know and not want contact, he may not know. There is no reason to assume the feelings of his ex family are his own, but be prepared in case they are.

[@selbarton]

1: Katie left the call because they were angry she couldn't contribute as much money as them. It isn't an a-hole move to choose bridesmaids, but picking someone that it was planning to get rid of her from the start. The bride wanted a full maid of honor role by a bridesmaid and to fit a good portion of the bill without any consideration. And of course she is happier now that she picked someone able to spent more on her. 2: Odd how they were just friends who hooked up and ditched while mom was pregnant and then he was a cheater who hung around until after OP was born. Looks like OP can't keep the story straight. All OP wanted was to know about the father, and now OP knows that none of them care about knowing each other. And the trip is just stalking and harassment. Looks like the biofamily needs a restraining order to get rid of OP. 3: It's child abuse to keep making the child sick by feeding them the very thing that makes them sick. They are intentionally destroying his stomach, esophagus, and teeth. It needs reported. 4: There was zero reason to believe a 17 year old who doesn't forsee a breakup as a serious probability honestly considered the consequences. She is at the whim of whatever guy she is with. Rob needed a home to stay close so he got to stay. New boyfriend wants Rob gone or she won't have a guy at prom so Rob is banished from the home and isolated from the closest family he has. She doesn't care that Rob would be homeless and forced to move across the country or in an unhealthy environment of mental abuse. Though turning Rob into an outsider to appease a controlling boyfriend and make his coming into the living area with the family has its own mentally unhealthy element. He is good enough to come over to the big house while he's working for them, but otherwise, he is no longer welcome like family because the daughter is done with him. She isn't a level headed teenager. She's the boy crazy, airhead teenager that doesn't think consequences apply to her. And when they happen, she expects it to be fixed for her because it's not her fault and consequences should be shifted to others.

[@sfsin3380]

Story one. Bride wasn't involved in the call as it was Bridesmaids only call about the Bachelorette party. She heard the story second hand from the other bridesmaids. I could be misunderstanding but what I heard sounded like Kate (who was tasked with planning the Bachelorette) presented the call with Bachelorette options then said she couldn't afford her fair share of those plans. none of Kates alternative's where for things that would be in her budget. Story two: First story was was what Mom told OP growing up. The second version was what OP discovered when they looked into it. Totally agree on the other two.

[@selbarton]

@@sfsin3380 1: Bride dumped it on her. And she said the bridesmaids were throwing the suggestions and budgets out. Then they weren't happy she couldn't afford what they could, and turned it into bullying her for not having money to keep up with them. Most weddings it's a dress and some of the party. This wedding was dress, massivd party, airfare, hotel room for a few days....The expenses likely added up in ways she hadn't anticipated especially when she didn't bother to book the rooms when it was likely cheaper to do so. Then the bride complained she wasn't spending enough, so no matter what she did none of them were going to see her as good enough. She was the outsider they wanted to use. 2: She presents the first as fact not as being mislead. She runs both as fact knowing that isn't the case. Either way, she is harassing the people who would have nothing to do with her that would have needed to be the ones to "correct" her mother's story. She sees stalking as acceptable so she isn't mentally stable. She may well be incapable of separating the two narratives one of which she could have fabricated in her own mind to avoid reality.

[@AnimeLover-iy5bv]

Random comment but for the last story, he said "help out father" and immediately my brain went to KND lol

[@Neighbor-assistantYN]

Last story. She wants him out? Sure, you and Joe get a job, pay for a new place for the ex and I'm sure he'd be more than willing to leave. If not, suck it up buttercup, you are about to be out of school, you can leave with Joe and see how that works out for you.

[@HeidiGraham1982]

Got off work just in time to have Mark accompany me and entertain me on my bus ride home! 😊 Edit: I don't know how I forgot to say this, but I hope you are well, Mark, and taking good care of yourself!

[@fcold9402]

I just want to point out that if you have 3 half sibling with 3 different mothers it is unlikely YOUR mother was the one that broke up the marriage. Doesn't absolve her from sleeping with a married man, but he apparently will sleep with anyone.

[@shuinoh]

Story 2: NTA??? Wow...Reddit is really backwards about the responsibility of parents. He should be allowed to find his father if he wants to. I do think he should stop talking to the other siblings though...

[@ravertaking6343]

Arrgh! Watching this yesterday and boom internet went out. So I'm starting at the beginning and hope I can see it all.

[@aschestoasches5455]

Was a bridesmaid to a friend's wedding and her moh was like this. Now we were all taken back by the dress choice. The original dress her mom and moh sent a link to was over 2 grand and three of us who kinda knew each other couldn't believe she expected us to pay the equivalent of a down payment for a car on a dress. Then the bride later told us she had changed her mind and that it had only been inspiration for what she wanted and then she changed her mind. I was glad but also annoyed she told us to buy it originally and then changed it a month later. Though it came off more like she had told the two she wanted something like that dress and they had decided to just tell everyone to get that dress . I was a touched annoyed cause I had nearly already bought it so I could get it over with and start paying it off. The second dress was just a couple hundred and looked much better. Then came the part that turned the entire bridal party against the moh. The bride had said she just wanted a spa day or something for her bachelorette party. Then the moh told us she booked a condo so we could spend a weekend at the beach. Many of us were annoyed cause there were cheaper ways for all of us to stay up there but then be told we would each pay over a grand to cover room and a boat ride. Especially since what we discussed earlier would have been less of a drive and just been a couple hundred. One girl asked why she would pay since she lived there so the moh told us that now we all had to pay much more. We all said sorry we can't afford it. Moh was pissed and told us she had already booked it and we had to pay it. We told her that she should have discussed it with us before booking it. Of course she had booked it early enough to get a refund. She then announced there was no longer a bachelorette party. Bride even said the same once she found out what moh was planning and said she didn't even want one and that the condo thing was way too much. we all knew she wanted one but didn't want something that expensive. Moh was very well off and couldn't seem to understand we were all lower middle-class and can't spend that much. So in the end we each took bride out separately. And she basically ended up with seven mini parties. But Moh was passive aggressive with us anytime we had to meet.

[@kaileyspagnola4838]

Ayyy listening while cleaning. I appreciate u mark!

[@Karl-Walter]

Story 3: This seems very obviously a case of MSBP Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome or FDP Factitious Disorder by Proxy, as such it needs to be reported to CPS immediately to get parent and child helped ASAP.

[@justaperson4656]

Story 3, as someone who is lactose intolerant, I do my best to avoid dairy when I know I'm having a bad day. If I'm not, I will eat more dairy, but that's because I'm only *mildly* lactose intolerant. When my mum found out I was lactose intolerant, she would substitute EVERYTHING. Soy chocolate cakes, bringing lactose free milk to Macdonald's and requesting they use that (though once or twice they gave me ice-cream milkshake and I had a horrid day, I still can't eat banana milkshake). This IS a cps issue. Call them.

[@tinak2576]

Story 4: I low key hope new bf grew so insecure he broke up with her and she had no date for the prom.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the Second Story you're not in the wrong and quite frankly we are only getting these dad's ex-wife and the do half-brothers pretty much saying he doesn't want nothing to do with you. We have not heard from the camel's mouth when in reality I think he does want something to do with you but because your father's ex-wife and your brothers have blocked you and went no contact with you you got Wonder how much anger do they have towards you because of your existence. Especially since his ex-wife is blaming you for just being alive. You're not in the wrong but a lot of people are just saying you're in the wrong because the ex-wife and the two brothers said we want nothing to do with you but yet your father hasn't said anything neither which means he's afraid that you're going to reject him or your brothers are putting pressure on him that if you make contact with him then their relationship with him it's over.

[@DecoyMcClary]

I was waiting for someone to take his side.

[@helookalikaman79]

11:00 Did the dad say not to contact him again or is it his "family" saying that he doesn't want the contact? I am thinking the "family" is telling OP to get lost WITHOUT telling the dad OP was looking for him....

[@jackiewepps4694]

Story 3: I was actually thinking allergy, and I'm surprised the mom didn't answer that, which leads me to believe that they haven't even had it checked out yet. Poor poor kid. The more I think about it, the more I agree with those saying that someone should call CPS. This cannot be allowed to continue.

[@perfectlyqueer1658]

Thank you, Mark, for putting story 4 in there. For personal reasons it was good for me to hear that.

[@sammyk.6457]

Just started painting, well timed upload

[@itazuranakisu]

He would only be an AH if he was trying to force a relationship with the father. However OP was refused this option time and time again by the half siblings and ex wife. They refused to give the father the chance to reconnect and seems to stem from bitterness and jealousy since they don’t want to be reminded that the father was loose and didn’t use protection.

[@Zeracheil]

Story 3: my son was the same way with anything milk related when he was younger. He would throw up with in minutes of ice cream or milk. Granted I'm lactose intolerant as well so switching him to lactaid was easy. But one thing I have learned is you can grow out of it, he told me his school was giving him normal milk and he was completely fine.

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: it’s seems like the OP only included her in the bridal party because she is friends with her husband. That’s why she should have never done it.

[@livsweetdreams]

What I want to know is why weddings have become so complicated as is

[@BigfootWithMemes]

This is why we bigfoots don't do bridal parties

[@aliquot8404]

🧇 *#3* 🍚🍣🐙🥡🍜🥟🍱🍤🍢🥠 11:11 -- Am I the (Expletive)? *For refusing to let someone order an item off the menu??* Emphatically No -- A multiple repeat occurrence? I am very concerned for that child's health. He has a food intolerance or allergy and his mother does nothing. Kiddos to you and your manager for refusing to enable such poor parenting. I don't know if you should take it further, but I would consider making a call to CPS. I think the mother is ignoring her son's health. Talk it over with your manager.

[@ResidentMilf]

17:28 That sound's like Joe's problem. 🤷

[@barbaraunderwood1762]

Bride has ever right to not have certain people in her wedding. It has to do with principals not money. She’s not an idiot. Cps shouldn’t be called just for throwing up Mac & cheese. They r for more serious stuff like child abuse, drugs, etc. last story daughter is n the wrong. U don’t kick someone out just because your new boyfriend is jealous. He’s not causing problems, the new boyfriend has a problem. It’s her parents house not hers & they make the decisions. Daughter needs to grow up.

[@heatherdickau5335]

I would tell the parents the restaurant is out-of mac and cheese from now on.

[@whims6278]

WHAT!? OP is definitely NOT the AH For having faith in someone that her partner is friends with and then realizing that The girl sucks and clearly doesn't really care about it so why doesn't matter if she's there or not

[@snowycadet275]

for story 3 NTA, that mom sounds like she thinks do it till the child does do it.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Story 2: NTA hunt down the father and confront the bastard that sired you fuck everyone being an obstacle on your warpath Story 4: NTA rob sounds like a good dude, daughter is sounding unreasonable

[@wmdkitty]

1: ESH. Kate's a bit of a flake, and sucks for it, yeah, but she earns mega points for standing firm on her budgetary limits. OP sucks for giving Kate this huge role, and then yanking it away without so much as sitting Kate down and having a check-in chat to see if there's anything you can do to help her. 2: YTA. Showing up on Sperm Donor's doorstep when you know he and his family aren't interested in you is... Lifetime Movie of the Week level crazy. Damn. Sperm Donor and Half Brothers 1 through 4 have every right to set boundaries with OP and have them respected. 3: NTA. While I'm not a huge fan of refusing service like this, there's a child involved. I think that's grounds for stepping in and refusing. OP did the child a kindness. And why, _why, _*_why_* does the mother keep allowing the kid to eat Kraft when she knows it makes her kid sick? It's one thing for an adult to decide, yeah, this food is worth a night in the lav, but a child? Nah. 4: NTA. He's legally a tenant, you _can't_ just toss him out like that. Taylor is kind of a jerk, tho, willing to throw her ex out on the street just so she'll have a date to prom.

[@theresaatkinson5040]

That child sounds like he’s lactose intolerant. He needs to get tested