4 Things: Friend is overstepping boundaries, Men keeping men single, Dating woes, Newly divorced

[@thekameru6058]

‘I had a dating circle on rotation!’ --> ‘She has like 10 men after her!’ Ah, rules for thee but not for me. Classic bs.

[@rachelryan84]

Noticed that.

[@charliebslilgurl1132]

Yeah, I caught that

[@ejiroghene20]

I swear he also says that she has male friends that are just trying to “get into her pants,” and then he says he confides in his female friends for advice?

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@ejiroghene20this 🔥🤦🌴

[@seabreeze4559]

He's a town bike but wants the Princess.

[@sylviaj270]

What is interesting about the men that conspired to break up dude’s marriage is that he never realized how fowl they were until they spelled it out for him. It sounds like they viewed him as the black sheep, the outcast or the inferior one. I doubt that they have always been loving and supportive and changed on this one occasion, They have probably been using him and doing degrading things to him all of his life but he needed their approval and kept allowing it.

[@SteveAyanami]

Precisely! And they were all jealous of him.

[@rellie_90]

Absolutely! Unfortunately, they were correct about him being easily manipulated. He readily believed them over the woman he took vows with even though by his own admission she had never presented anything to him that was congruent with what they were saying. He became paranoid because of *them,* not her. 😮‍💨

[@AmericanDreamer]

sounds like my ex BF 😬

[@alexajay6896]

Yup he was one of them “sup big bro” head asses

[@SweetEssie]

​@@SteveAyanami Or they hated women and wanted him to become one of them. Does it say if they were married too? Sometimes single people sabotage relationships because they want their friend back

[@hubabaloop]

Commenter - do away with the friend in my opinion. She isn’t protecting your peace, so you need to.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

I agree 💯

[@christinerichardson6596]

I agree also!

[@WhoAuthorizedThis]

I’ve had to do this as well. Some of these women are just far too messy. It’s gross.

[@hallievanoutryve3109]

I liked the commentator Leila's take... but if she gives a bunch of pushback after asking not to pass on messages, she should be dropped. I guess it depends on what kind of friend she is overall.. if she is a good friend in other ways, or they have a long history, it is worth it to give her another chance. But if she isn't doing anything but stressing out the OP, for sure, it is not worth it.

[@Alwaysontime11]

The so called friend can’t be trusted. She the type invite you somewhere knowing full well the stalker guy will be there.

[@susanplatt5331]

The second guy. I find it hard to believe he didn't already know his family and friends were problematic. He didn't just hurt his wife, he put her in harms way. He didn't put her first and chose to believe his problematic family over his loyal wife. Absolutely apologise to her but don't try and get her back, she deserves better than your 'high value '.

[@ayanami9257]

Yeah, you have to take men's words with a grain of salt, they tend to always try to paint themselves in the best light or paint themselves as the victim. I don't necessarily think he lied about anything, but he probably was not telling the whole truth in his post.

[@maddart4445]

What a lesson he had to learn right?

[@kcourtney6826]

I was thinking the same thing

[@danakchampion]

I agree. I was going to say if he does ask for her time and energy for a conversation, he needs to apologize without it being about getting back together.

[@rainbeauxunicorn5237]

First Reddit post: Don’t men tell women “keep your friends/family out our business?” OR “Your single friends gonna make you single if you keep listening to them!” But they don’t follow their own advice?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@AmericanDreamer]

this !!!! 🔥

[@seabreeze4559]

They think they're smarter. They're not.

[@brandy4530]

Ugh, that second guy needs to take some personal responsibility. His family didn’t cause his divorce. They didn’t make him do anything. If he wasn’t already misogynistic, then he would have been offended by his friends and father saying these things to him. He already believed in all of this high/ low value crap. He needs to take responsibility for the internal core values he holds. He isn’t different than he was before. He is blaming his friends and father for poisoning his mind, but if he felt like the red pill stuff was delusional, then he wouldn’t have listened to them.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

This!!!!

[@doublebreasted1422]

THANK YOU!! 🙏🏾 This is HIS fault for listening and acting on their suggestions! I don't feel sorry for him.

[@AmericanDreamer]

💯 Exactly🔥🔥🔥

[@seabreeze4559]

he should sue them for alienation of affections but he won't

[@maenad1231]

“I’m easily manipulated” Translated from man to English “I over prioritize my bros perception of me, there opinions and I’m obsessed with male validation but for some reason think of myself as masculine”

[@vanaphill2454]

Second letter: Glad she is gone. He was stupid for listening to the manosphere about his wife. They wanted her that's why they broke up his marriage. She is gone and won't be with any of your friends. A man is his friends.

[@thinkinginn7443]

Exactly, most times when a guy has a circle of bad friends/influences they are the average of that roster.

[@deboracopeland4795]

Yes a man is his friends and his family.

[@lynns4426]

The first friend is actually interested in her friend's ex. I wish young people would realize a lot of cities have the same dating pool. Men complain too much.

[@MelissaThompson432]

Yes. Block the woman friend. Why wouldn't she honor your request?

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

That's a good question🤔

[@msch3891]

She wants the friend to be miserable. Maybe she likes this man and this is a way to have contact with him.

[@hubabaloop]

Second one- what a weak ass dude imo. I would never go back if my husband did that to me. WOW Edit: a defamation suit? For what, him choosing to believe the men in his life over his wife? Not a thing pup.

[@SweetAven00]

She needs to stop sharing ? No drop her. Bc why does your friend want your ex talking to her about you? Sounds like jealousy and she likes making you uncomfortable.

[@seabreeze4559]

envy, triangulation likely

[@deboracopeland4795]

Sounds like the friend is after the ex. I have never had any relationship of any kind with my friends exes, that includes phone calls. It’s a woman rule.

[@toscadonna]

Six weeks of yoga teacher “training” with a bendy mistress is what made him dump his wife super fast; he’s not fooling anyone. She’s lucky she’s still young. He’ll be back when it doesn’t work out with Miss Zen, so she needs to make sure she’s ready to tell him to F off when he does.

[@marisaJ1]

Some men almost don't have a chance to run back or anywhere else. Sometimes the new, young thing tries to hire a hit man to kill their arse for money, e.g. Dalia Dipolito.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

There are soo many women in the yoga/spiritual community, who are more than happy to see a marriage end. They justify it by claiming the man is their soulmate, so basically the wife is a fraud and he was always meant to be with the other woman. I’ve seen women from all age groups and backgrounds buy into this 😖🤧. Usually the men still burn them. I’m sure he’ll come back when he realizes he let his wife go for a baths!t hippie 😂

[@Revelwoodie]

Yeah, after 18 years she just wasn't putting out the way she used to. He got the idea in his head that if he were single, he'd be drowning in women. I'm laughing in advance at how disappointed he's going to be a year from now.

[@rn2787]

Dear Idaho Man, Women in California are mostly liberal or on the left side of the spectrum and women in Idaho are mostly on the right and/or conservative libertarian. Idaho has a much higher percentage of Christians/Mormons. Their values are polar opposites on many issues. Idaho has also made it illegal to get rid an unwanted pregnancy and birth control is next. They also hate California and people from there. That's not even accounting for your issues. Dating is a market place according to men and in that market (Boise) you are the clearance rack. My advice is to leave Idaho and get a therapist. - A random single woman from a state with civil rights

[@seabreeze4559]

How can they complain that women aren't sleeping with them.... when they want women who won't sleep with them? Like with this type I'm all THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Third story- he was younger in CA, and may have had other attractive qualities (e.g. finances, popularity). Now he’s 31, in a new city, where he probably sticks out like a sore thumb. Boise is not CA. As much as he’s painting himself as a good guy, he: •Brags about how much he pulls/pulled. •Keeps “rotations” •Rates women Even just one of those would point to a likely AH. But all 3?? He’s not as great as he thinks he is. His female friends aren’t keeping it real or he’s not telling them every single detail. He gives red pill vibes. I never give dating advice to men I don’t know well for this exact reason. I’m not helping you trick one of my sisters. KMA 😂🖕🏽

[@FallacyBites]

Yeah, and being older means that the women in his age range (if he's not being extra creepy and predatory) have lived life. If he went back to California, he'd find that the ratios of childless/marriageless women isn't what it was when his cohort was 20yo

[@TheePrincessBrat]

@@FallacyBites It’s funny. He’s ran through and now want a nice clean slate of a woman to date. Well well well And to your predatory comment: Idk what he meant by “school”. That raised an eyebrow. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has tried wooing younger suitors, especially considering how much he’s complaining about ex-husbands and kids

[@dorino9057]

Yeah, him bragging about how many women he slept with is a red flag. He’s not a nice guy. Just disgusting. Glad he’s being rejected. Also, there is a full abortion ban in Idaho, so I understand women they’re wanting to be very careful. All women should do that honestly, these men are not worth it.

[@almamater9346]

Love this comment. The extra razzle dazzle at the end was chef's kiss 💜

[@alexajay6896]

Right! He thought he was getting insight 😂

[@KimberlyPinkney]

Mr Nice Guy in Boise, can't wrap his head around the fact that other people have lived life.,and no one is sitting perfect in a gift wrapped bubble just for him. He was probably added to the " strutting, entitled F-boy" karma registry that no one's looking for.

[@kimleemoon]

Boise is fairly conservative. Those women are interested in marriage and a family, not a fling or being apart of his “rotation”.

[@LuvsTruth]

Yes! And, he mentions working on himself in every way except getting therapy. He’s too superficial for his own good.

[@nothereyetlost]

Lmaoooo their VIRGIN ONLY. 7s only. No single mothers. No weaves, no lashes, no social media. I’m like OK.AY. None it is then

[@maddart4445]

Never give up your name in marriage. You are not property.

[@seabreeze4559]

Somatic narcissism is obsessed with the concept of trade-up, we don't have agency to them.

[@vilee1877]

That friend sounds messy. She gets a kick out of her friend's discomfort, hence continuing to play the messenger role.

[@AndyyWithAY]

That first "friend" is a 💩stirrer. End it. A high value man out of work for half a year 🤣🤣 Delulu is not the solulu. He DID choose men over his wife. He just needs to leave her alone. It sounds like 3rd OP is overvaluing his game. He's clearly oozing red flags

[@khem127]

Yup, the fact that they give him the wrong number or ignore his phone calls after their first date says a lot. They're afraid that he will get angry if they say they don't want to see him again. He's overbearing.

[@AmericanDreamer]

💯🤦🌴

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@khem127 exactly

[@memebzk5001]

I dated one of my friends uncle, and when that relationship ended, I told her that I never want to discuss him again.. She never brings him up!!! I luv her for respecting my wishes.

[@TheePrincessBrat]

Second story happened with a guy I was talking to. His friends and my “bsf” were in his ear, the entire time we were dealing with each other. But i hold him accountable for listening to them instead of trusting what he knows about me. You let someone else convince you to distrust and hurt me. Oh well. I don’t want anyone spineless around me.

[@GenXsinglefree]

The 3rd OP comes off as superficial and entitled. If California was so easy, why did he move to a less diverse and sparsely populated area?

[@maam-yj8ph]

Seriously. Playa got played. If he were a woman, his post would be on these red pill channels and they would be talking about how he "hit the wall."

[@kimleemoon]

Cali is expensive that’s why.

[@HauntedCadaver]

​​@@maam-yj8phit makes me want to rewrite this by switching it to a female pov and just post it in the redpilled community and let them rip it apart, then edit with a link to the real one as a gotcha 😂

[@GenXsinglefree]

@kimleemoon That state is expensive, but that's not why he moved to that particular place. There are less expensive places with diverse populations for a self-proclaimed Playa. There's something he left out of his story.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@HauntedCadaver DO EET

[@hubabaloop]

Third one- how does his know this much about these women when none of them will even talk to him? They spend so much time making up worlds in their heads. Surprise- they’re just not that into you. Edit: damn he’s put in a lot of work for dates. Maybe he should try to decenter romantic relationships. Seems upset

[@TheWeeklyWithKiki]

The edit is killing me 😂😂😂😂

[@hubabaloop]

@@TheWeeklyWithKiki😅😂😂😂😂

[@Erica-cf1xb]

Most people are legends in their own mind. They forget about the part where they had to sell themselves and commit to trafficking as part of the "business deal" stated In the fine print that nobody reads.

[@sonja4164]

Exactly 💯

[@brandy4530]

The third guy who moved from California, needs to go back. This is just what it’s like in middle America. Dating in the 30s is hard there because everyone gets married young, and has children. People who divorce, or are never married are generally very weird or just plain nuts. The people who want more than marriage and children, leave and don’t come back unless they are married. For a guy like this who wants to play the field, it’s not going to happen. The culture there won’t allow it. He will either settle down with whoever will have him, or he will stay single and celibate.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

💯I am from a major city and I smh when I think about the attitude of some people. I have met people who have relocated from smaller cities/small towns who expect their lifestyles to be the same and complain about city life.

[@ShineOnBenevolentSun]

🎯💯 Worse is if he doesn't know anyone or isn't part of an organization that will put him out there with lots of other people on a platonic basis. That's how most people meet their SO's there, from friends of friends or school or church or Rotary etc. Asking for digits is so weird and forward.

[@dorino9057]

@@Wonderwoman79G OK, but you should keep your morals and values no matter what, I think women should not be dealing with these modern men, unless they have 100% proven themselves in a committed relationship with them first no matter where they live

[@Wonderwoman79G]

@dorino9057 I was making general comments about people who relocate to cities.I wasn't specifically talking about the guy btw.

[@seabreeze4559]

the manosphere lies to men like this and tells them they are valuable in the styx

[@meika79]

They ALL tried to get with her?? Second one sounds like his wife was out of his league. He probably felt lucky to be with her, but his boys and his own father were hating and convinced him to ruin his marriage . They were jealous that he managed to attract her.

[@tlrcarroll]

The guy in Boise sounds extremely entitled and immature. He hasn’t learned that he’s NOT guaranteed a woman’s time and attention regardless of her circumstances.

[@seabreeze4559]

He wanted to be a big fish in a small pond. Except city women are actually more lonely/desperate.

[@audrablue515]

I want to know why he went from CA to Boise. I’m not even American and I know that is a downgrade in cities. Sounds very sus to me.

[@ButterflyBree]

I'm learning to allow people to exit my life, for whatever reason. Without getting in my feelings or taking it personally. Many times when people exit our lives, it's Universal Protection.

[@Tina_Bo_Binaaa]

First one is easy, tell her no more stories about this man if you want to remain my friend, if she don’t, block her. My mom used to do that to me, I made it clear i would go no contact because it was triggering.

[@mistyvance4544]

Looks like she's trying to trigger a friend. Friends don't trigger friends. She not her friend.

[@Erica-cf1xb]

That's how insecure people make friends. They study you and pick apart the places that make them vulnerable. Then mimic as the better version of that person. It's slow poison. Until the real dose comes with alot of supportive angels.

[@kayjeffs3741]

That second one is speaking to me. I went through the same thing...him listening to other men caused him to break up with me. A few months later he was at my door on his knees begging me to take him back. I declined that and moved on. He still regrets it but I no longer care.

[@naturallyhoneybrown]

Yeah, it's so funny how some men have "buddies" or relatives that they swear are loyal, but they are only supportive of each other if none of them excels. These are not friends but it is difficult for immature men to see that.

[@beardpapa12]

A lot of men simply don't get that there is such a thing as too late and too much.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

2nd story-it is sad and disgusting that his relatives including his father wanted to get with his ex. He lost a good woman.She had high enough standards to not deal with any of those dusty men.

[@ogolden8315]

Second story …. I don’t think people realize how common this kinda scenario is. More than people think. Close male friends/relatives do sabotage other men’s relationships. People like to think this happens only amongst women…. NOPE!!! Men will have stable rlsps:marriages and allow their buried insecurities to create issues.

[@mariapaz6379]

Man in Boise went on a rant with the most superficial points imaginable and then finished his post with "im desiring a real connection to share with a woman"

[@ifetayodavidson-cade5613]

People pair up earlier in Boise compared to Southern California. I moved to a place like Boise at around the same age as him and felt like aged 5 years after a short flight because most of my peers were married or seriously dating (usually saving up for a ring, wedding, house, etc). Dating in Southern California is hard for women because so many guys act like the OP.

[@SunandSunflowers]

First one. Not a friend but an enemy if you warn her & she continues to cross boundaries . Know that this is not a friend.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Right! I wouldn't trust it🤔🧐

[@Erica-cf1xb]

But they need to stay in the loop In order to get fed. Someone is incentivizing them to destroy the target. Whoever is funding the dummy mission is guilty AF too. That's how whores climb the ladder. By staying close, cosplaying, and taking the credit of original work.

[@TheRacqgrl769]

Block the "friend" and move on. Former wife of easily influenced male: Stay away from him, regardless of what he says. He's still a child who's susceptible to other people's influence. and Until we die, our lives are not over. Divorce is as common as us having skin. Even if we didn't want it at the time, it is what it is. Heal and live on.

[@AmericanDreamer]

so true!! I second your comment as former GF of easily influenced male...Male that is many years my senior (yup, age gap relationship)! Yet immature, former outcast in school who later managed to become a popular guy. He is still so insecure .:/ Bad experience overall..He was talking trash about me to his friends for no good reason , Rly like a school's bully. Never apologized. 🤦🌴

[@IndomitableAde]

2nd story, these men will _definitely_ let their friends and family have them moving against their own interests without even thinking about it. Here's how I know: When my son who is now 20 was a toddler I'd gone to a grocery store with bollards around the entrance so you couldn't take the shopping carts into the parking lot, so I had my son on my right hip, two bags of groceries hanging from my left arm and my car keys in my left hand. A guy I went to high school with yelled my name (I hate that) and came trotting toward me from across the parking lot. He saw the bags I was holding and walked me to my car without offering to carry them 🚩, so I just handed them to him while I shifted my son to my left hip and unlocked the car with my right hand. He asked me for my number while I was putting my baby in the car seat. After a noticeable hesitation I gave it to him without much interest. When he called me later, he said "Hey, earlier today you seemed like you didn't want to give me your number. What's up with that?" I said "Well, you saw me, yelled my name, ran over to me, saw me with my hands full and didn't offer to help. What's up with _that_ ? He said "Man, I was with my uncle and my cousins. Do you know how they would have clowned me if they had seen me doing all that for you?!" 🙄 I asked him if he was trying to get with me or if he was trying to get with them. Long pause. Insert shocked Pikachu face here. I wish I could say that's where things ended but I actually went on a handful of dates with him. He knew I enjoyed traveling and would often dangle the prospect of foreign travel in front of me but it was always hypothetical like, _maybe_ I'll take you here, _maybe_ we'll go there, but no trips ever materialized. 🚩 He knew I was in school for architectural engineering and construction management. He owned several investment properties around town and _maybe_ he would let me oversee one of the renovation projects. He never did, even though I had the experience from a paid internship with a community development corporation and actual homebuilding skills from lots of volunteer hours on multiple projects with Habitat for Humanity. He would also express irritation when I wasn't available to go on dates because I did not have a night-time sitter. He thought I should just ask my mother who at the time was working the 3 to 11 shift at a casino to watch my son. I explained to him that I was only willing to do that if my mother was willing on the days she was off and I told him what those days were. To his credit, without being asked he did pay my mother for childcare services on her day off. On maybe like the third date I asked him why he had never expressed any interest in me in high school. He said he was too intimidated then. If anything I had only become more of myself than I was when I was in high school so that was another 🚩 On the fifth and last date, he turned me off with some colorist remark he made about me and women who "looked like me". He was very dark skinned, I'm what they used to call "high yellow" (hate that too), and thinking on it in that moment I realized he had only ever dated women of my complexion, including the mother of his child who he hadn't married.🚩 It made me feel like some kind of trophy. All that to say he didn't like himself very much, I didn't get the feeling he liked me very much and I wound up not liking him very much either. When I changed my cell phone number from my old Atlanta number to a local one, I didn't bother sharing it with him. I was flagged out.

[@khem127]

Good question you asked him. Sad, he could't even help you for worrying about what his boys would think.

[@IndomitableAde]

@@khem127 yes, and it's like it's been said here before, men want to impress other men, not women.

[@AmericanDreamer]

good riddance! 🔥

[@seabreeze4559]

tons of future faking wow what is that colour? never heard of it. is it like tan? cognac? milk chocolate?

[@seabreeze4559]

@@IndomitableAde it's homoerotic, they're stimulated by the approval of other men

[@talkingtochapri]

Trust me there are a lot of divorcee elderly bitter fathers who try to ruin their sons marriage. They never got loved by any woman when they were young and they try to ruin their sons relationship. If you have a single mother or father maintain a distance from them if you are in a relationship, because your happy relationship reminds them of their own failure 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@naturallyhoneybrown]

exactly

[@seabreeze4559]

yes they will sabotage it 100%

[@Isthisjoebiden]

No, they were loved by a woman at least once. They took her for granted and are now bitter. And they see their son treating his wife well so they plant seeds of doubt, so he can ruin their relationship too and he doesn't have to see his sons happiness he is inherently jealous of.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@Isthisjoebiden alienation of affections, envy

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

So the guy in Boise, had women in rotation, but how dare those women have men in rotation! Now he’s ready to look for a good woman, and spent all his 18 years cycling through women instead of trying to find that one perfect woman who probably was actually ready to settle down with him. Instead, he was playing those women now he’s suffering from consequences of his actions. He’s been doing that for 18 years… He’s been a player since 13? You know what 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m done

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

He also thought that since he's still considered attractive by big city standards, he'd be extra attractive by small town standards. He likely is and that's IT! He has absolutely nothing of substance to offer. 😂😂😂😂 I'm in CA and plenty of women out here can see through the facade too, it's just that it seems he ASSumed he could have any woman he wanted once he moved. So, you can tell he gives off an extra strong aura of, "God's greatest gift". 😂😂😂😂

[@Xena395]

He stayed too long on the field and the game ended, I hope no woman serves as a consolation prize for him because now ms dream girl doesn’t want him or can’t find one.

[@hevabmore]

The second story where he says he would accept the rejection from his ex-wife gracefully let's you know how they think. Like he is doing someone a favor by being civil in a rejection that he caused.

[@Egh0127]

Ikr trying to seem like he's doing a favor when really that's the lowest of the low BARE absolute minimum smh acting like a knight on a horse

[@naturallyhoneybrown]

@@Egh0127 lol you got me with the "acting like a knight on a horse" part. Now I feel bad for the guy smh

[@apbxny216]

For the rotation man😂...these women are following their instincts and running in the other direction 😂.. shout out to the women being safe, and protective of their : mental, physical, and spiritual health. Also, women give bums their telephone number (probably a fake one) because they don't want to be unalived.😅

[@user-ly3li3ex8c]

Man its scary now days with the phone number thing, these guys check by immediately calling your phone in front of you and can become offended if it doesn't work- you can't win, gotta always pretend to be married to these guys and even then that won't stop some of them.

[@dorino9057]

@@user-ly3li3ex8c Sometimes I give them my real number then block the number once I’m at home safe

[@maddart4445]

Women give men their number because they are afraid of men’s reaction when they don’t.

[@se2664]

Exactly they never see it from that perspective

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

First one block her and end the friendship. Her actions were purposeful even after she known how bring up her past made her feel. Second one: no sir you did this to yourself by listening to toxic raggedy family members and friends who were engaging in the very behavior you accused your wife of without proof. It’s all made up in their heads. Those nasty males being after his wife. There’s no loyalty among males. That red pill rhetoric is deadly. I doubt his wife will take him back. Third one women have a right to change their minds. Clearly he hasn’t gotten the memo that women are choosing abstinence and celibacy over relationships. He didn’t get the memo. Fourth one: he rushed the divorce so he could get laid. 👀 smh I’m so glad she divorced him. Let the emancipation and healing begin for her.❤

[@seabreeze4559]

the manosphere is mostly an excuse for men to screw over other men under the pretence of screwing women

[@nixeradicatus]

Whenever I see someone calling themselves a "high value man", I ask them "high value to what market"? Different markets have different attributes that they are looking for. Most of these men calling themselves "high value men" are only of high value on the male status market. The female desirability market has completely different attributes that make a man "high value".

[@AmericanDreamer]

💯

[@Erica-cf1xb]

Not to the real market. Possibly to the prostitute market which is a swamp meat. So there is that.

[@justacutie5201]

Story 1) she doesn't care about your well-being, mental health or boundaries and seems low-key happy when you're miserable. Hence she's not your friend. e Enemy maybe, frenemy definitely.

[@cloud9beauty]

Ha! The Boise guy is sending me 😅 I’m moving back to boise in a few days. I won’t be dating any men while the reproductive rights are dangerously archaic. 4b in boise

[@RamenNoodle1985]

Second dude is defo gonna try to get back w/ his ex, even if she's not interested.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

I believe so too. I think he's lying and if she doesn't want to go back he will get angry and aggressive 😮

[@passionliving]

I just watched a post by a guy whose wife gave him an ultimatum "I am your wife, therapist and only friend - pick one.". When he admitted that she met all his emotional needs and she was the solid tree that he leans on - her response was that he was a never-ending black hole. How exhausting! These stories are a reminder that this is the expectation of men in general.

[@kayleslielouise1180]

Haha! The guy that let his insecurities ruin his marriage…that could literally be my ex husband lol. His family talked him into believing that going grocery shopping with me was abuse. He was supposed to just work and be bare minimum I guess.

[@kayleslielouise1180]

I should have cheated. But that’s not who I am.

[@Egh0127]

That's insane😭my boyfriends family tried to say that "wives are supposed to have dinner ready for her husband when he gets off work" notice I said boyfriend😂I told them as soon as I get a real diamond ring I'll consider making hot food every single day. It's funny actually because now that I think about that I was cooking dinner everyday, it was just that one day I didn't because I took my son to the pool

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

Even if his own father wasnt being malicious and had honest concerns, that doesn't mean he was right. So, yes, I can see him trusting his father but he has no excuse to not consider the possibility that his father was mistaken about the things he was saying about the wife. Even if any of the concerns in his mind were genuine, he handled it all so badly I can feel the vibe without being there.

[@wiggilytaco7570]

12:51 yeah and he says he went to therapy and is frustrated for being single for 3 years. Like what?? I went to therapy and was single for 4 years because I was busy working on myself and focused on bettering myself. When the right one came along I was wary that “I” was not healed enough. That was after 4 years of introspection, working out, saving money, and taking care of myself. The last thing in my mind was a relationship. To me it read like someone who half assed everything and is just trying to say the often repeated things online just to throw a pity party or prove some bias in his head.

[@maam-yj8ph]

Yeah there's nothing to indicate that this man ever wanted to be a monogamous boyfriend; husband; or father. So the trash is out here wondering why their options are also looking like trash.

[@MelissaThompson432]

#2 says his father conspired to get his son divorced from his daughter in law so he, the father, could get in her pants. I can't even.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

He need in-treatment not a woman😮

[@Egh0127]

He said 67 years old too!😂😂unbelievable

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Wow.Just.Wow. And they all ganged up on him to beat him up. Is this the Sopranos?

[@Mikey-jv5fv]

@@kayshawnsimmons5585agreeeeed he definitely needs to invest in some intensive therapy and not worry about reconnecting with his ex-wife. Like the convo might provide closure for both of them but after that he needs to focus on himself for now. The kind of people who would do that to him most def fucked him up in other ways too especially his DAD too like wtf

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

@@Egh0127 YES! He's off in the head

[@levelupgoddess9289]

I hope the one with ex wife leaves her TF ALONE. He already put her through the wringer. He listened to his family and friends over the words and actions of the wife he LIVED WITH. She deserves to move on peacefully. I seriously hope she has moved on and wants nothing to do with him outside of a simple conversation. Leave that woman alone. The male after that, women ARENT entitled to date u. Being an adult working and paying bills doesn’t make u special. Women DONT we u anything. I’m so happy women aren’t really dating anymore. These males F ed around and are finding out.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Sir! Leave your ex alone. She's been thru enough with you. Get in therapy and stop fixating on getting her back. He actually said he "DESERVES" a 6 for being "nice" which we know "NICE" means your a ticking time bomb Sir😮😳.

[@jsChelimo]

He's not worth it because he can't think for himself. His dad trying to get with his wife is yuck

[@AmericanDreamer]

@@jsChelimo exactly.! They both are sick scmgbags and I hope she never ever engages with either of them in any way, should block that effface and move on completely!

[@seabreeze4559]

@@jsChelimo Mohamed told one of his sons to divorce so he could get the wife.

[@alleycatalog]

So they get to say what makes a man "high value" AND what makes a woman "good". They ant to to define everyone's reality.

[@BurbNBougie]

Yes. They define everything. Lol

[@beepbopboop7727]

Story 2; the fact that he didn’t even realise he was being manipulated for 2 years. And the fact he got his a** beat too after that is hilarious.

[@hubabaloop]

I had to leave the 2x chromosome sub bc it was so exhausting. It’s much better when you curate them rather than me just scrolling. It’s very clear the decentering men movement is not in everybody’s FYP

[@Beebe33]

The nice guys story starts with him bragging and telling everyone about his Roster. Then he ends with the I'm lonely, I'm a nice guy, I'm just looking for something real bs.

[@seabreeze4559]

the term is player burnout, that's what they call hitting the wall

[@rtphotos4691]

No. 2, I saw this a LOT when I was in the army. It is very common for non bears to sabotage each other's relationships. They do exactly what these non bears did to the one in this story. In fact, this sounds eerily what my ex did to me. I was disgusted when his cousin pried into our marriage which I was trying to salvage when he asked me, "would you be with x if he didn't have all that money?" After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I said, "I was making MORE money than him when we met." My ex didn't stop to think, "gee, they're insulting me (him) by saying the only reason she'd be with me was for money." What I saw in the army was non-stop gossip, them spreading rumours behind each others backs whenever one of them was seeing a w-m-n. All the things the non bear in story 2 had done to him. That's the main difference between non bears and w-m-n. W-m-n will support each other and it is rare for some to deliberately ruin another's relationship, although it does happen, but not to the extent that non bears will do it to each other.

[@sparkle481]

I wouldn’t trust that my “friend” wasn’t sharing my personal business with the ex. Reevaluation of this friendship is necessary

[@missnlahi]

Story number 2 made me so sad and made my blood run cold. Like, how can your own family be so wicked to come between you and your spouse?? Instigating lies and suspicions behind closed doors then laughing and cackling about it afterwards. Such a wicked world that we reside in. You can't trust anyone 100%

[@AmericanDreamer]

so agree

[@AmericanDreamer]

this same happened to me too ... 😨 Just in my case it was my BF and his friends ..He mocked me and talked trash all along about me to his friends, for reasons still unbeknownst to me. I haven't even yet met those friends when he started it. And no, we are not teenagers, he's 19 years my senior

[@cozysox]

I left my ex when I was in my mid-40s. I really dropped some dead weight there. Life is so much better! 😊❤ Don't give up your precious time to these losers!

[@copperredd]

S3 these guys would have u believe all women r 304s tho, even tho he cant get even 1 to give him the time of day

[@_Ridethemaverick]

I had this exact thing happen to me in question #1. We all grew up together and guy and I dated for about 2 years in my early twenties. After the breakup, she kept sending me his posts and delivering messages from him. I had to straight up tell her to stop sending relaying messages to me or I would block her, haven’t received any messages since!

[@shaolinqueen3684]

BLOCK HERRRRRR

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

💯🙅🏾‍♀️

[@lesliewit]

The first two are a lesson on "sometimes it be your own people." Honestly with that first woman I probably would just cut her off. She's already communicated she doesn't want to hear about her ex. Her friend continuing to pass along messages from the ex sounds toxic. And I absolutely believe that that man was led astray by his family and friends. Because that is the trajectory that these guys are on! A lot of these men are just not emotionally mature enough to have relationships, marriages, families. And they're easily lead astray by the opinions of others. I believe that's what happened to my ex, and I KNOW that's what happened with my dad. Funny though that they're constantly telling us that we need to stop involving other people in our relationships, stop listening to our girlfriends, and follow them as the leaders. Meanwhile this dude sh*t in his own pool. I don't wish him ill but he still hasn't figured out that you don't apologize expecting some sort of reward. The apology is for the person you harmed not for you to benefit. The third story the guy is a creep.😂😂😂 And the last story is yet another example of a man letting somebody lead him away from his marriage. She's hurting now but I guarantee she's going to be better off without him.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

The swcond story sits wrong with me. Do I believe this is a genuine revelation for OP (assuming the story itself is true)? Yeah, probably. He's still the one in the wrong, not his friends and family. His misogynistic belief system is what caused him to give weight to what his (male) friends and family said over anything his wife said or did. If he didn't intrinsically believe that men should be trusted and women shouldn't, that relationships with women are about keeping score and that she was using him (which is why he assumed she was cheating when he was unemployed), and that it was more important to be right and tough than to have a deep ,emotional connection with the woman he took vows with, their hints and suggestions wouldn't have had an effect on him. He would have defended HER instead of believing them. He has probably been that friend to OTHER people's relationships, saying horrible things and making sexist hints disparaging the woman. He only cares now because he doesn't get what he wants. It seems that's the only time men care about anything- when THEY have negative consequences. They don't gaf about anyone else's experience. Realizing he was believing bs advice from his friends and family does not undo the probably hundreds of small betrayals she felt from him.

[@islandgirl8067]

I read the 1st story before, this man had no backbone to allow his male relatives & the red pill content to break up his marriage. For the last story, most women who get married think it’s going to last forever, so they center their lives around the husband & kids. Life happens, couples break up, so it pays to have hobbies & interests outside of the relationship. This lady will see that she’s better off without that man (he was in a rush to end the marriage because he was cheating). She’s fairly young & can build a new life.

[@folklorefanatic7193]

Mr. Nice Guy in Boise admits that he had game in California... and moves back to Idaho, where a state senator just admitted they're banning reproductive rights to increase the working class population... Say nothing of his standards, which are probably going to be way too high because he just lived in the most image-conscious state in the country. 😂

[@Lysistrata2025]

This. Stagstates 2025 is happening in real time. Maybe the average looking men who are married had vasectomies. Maybe women are celibate to avoid bleeding to unaliveness. Maybe the handful of women still interested in dating are outnumbered 10-1 by thirsty men.

[@saraho9568]

For the man who lost his good wife because of his friends and Dad.....that is so sad. That is not what friends and family are for. I wouldn't talk to them at all. I wouldn't try to get her back with her either, she has moved on. Maybe give her closure but she has moved on.

[@JenniferBoyatt]

You mean you can't find LA in Boise? lol

[@tricitymorte1]

Story 2: he needs to confess to his ex wife what all of the men in his life had done and what they said to him. He needs to admint that he allowed himself to be manipulated with no evidence, and he needs to apologize.

[@hyperplaguerat]

Story 1: tell that "friend" that you won't be on speaking terms with her if she keeps passing on messages from the ex. End the friendship if she doesn't value your friendship enough to respect your wishes. That's not a friend. Story 2: Leave that woman alone!! Story 3: Maybe focus on living a good life instead of getting a girlfriend. Just make friends and find a hobby. Relying on a romantic relationship this hard is unhealthy. Being desperate can run people off. Also being judgemental 😂

[@KangwithoutaKangdom]

I actually expllained the second scenario to my sister the other day. She made a comment about the story of the friend who expised the husbands reddit post and why he would do that. I told her that a good man who sees a good woman bwing tarnished by a fool, he will absolutely step in the get the prize. And a bad man will be jealous and do everything he can to convince you she's not the good woman you think she is, so you'll end up as miserable as him.

[@mamat1213]

OMG the second one!!! What the whole hell

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

😮😮😮😮🚩🚩🚩

[@catsncrows]

How much damage is done to women and men themselves over their unaddressed abandonment issues?

[@Erica-cf1xb]

They don't feel pain until after the source of their energy is fully removed and access is blocked. The real them shines very bright that they were the real sick puppy out of the litter.

[@ejiroghene20]

Ok with the guy who listened to the men in his life about his ex, the commenters refer to him losing his wife to his own insecurities as theirs people ruing his “life.” The next day, people will say what do women being to the table, why do women think they are worth something? What do women do? Men who are nice to women get “what does she do for you?” The next day, people will say women’s standards are too high that they are gold diggers and wh*res and not genuine and only stay for the money and protection. That guy should absolutely not get the ex wife back. She deserved someone who trusted her and it only speaks to her carácter that she rejected every man he knew after they weren’t together anymore and he seriously thinks he deserved her? His post should have been about the therapy sessions he surely needs to take part in because without that want and Desiree to work on yourself and your blatant insecurities, what a I’ll become of thier relationship again? It’ll just stake someone else to ruin it again

[@jaetarminks1496]

Omg thank you so much I could cry right now. I’ve had a very stressful year last year especially dealing with men &’ family. Now I’m in therapy trying to better myself. This has been going on for so long after 7yrs I finally had the strength to not entertain the guy. Last night she said she just won’t rely anymore messages to me. ( I don’t believe). But we will see.

[@BurbNBougie]

💖💖

[@dusklvr]

For 9 years I tried to be everything to my ex and then his friend started hating on me and turning him against me. My life was destroyed by a couple of toxic alcoholic dude Bros

[@AmericanDreamer]

I'm sorry you went through that. 😬 But it's his loss!!! And you deserve a normal man not a clown!

[@karmAnonymous]

That 2nd story brings me a sense of glee because it's finally evidence from the "believable" 🙄 sex of what I TRIED to tell my ex... Guess whom texted me THIS MORNING still in regret over a year now? Yeah your boys are POS. Btw this happened with my ex best friend (male)/my ex husband/my ex husband's COUSIN/my ex husbands FATHER... His FATHER... Alllllll tried to hit on & get with me while in my ex's & my toxic-axx father's ear .. Edit: All while these same individuals had relationships. There was 2 years of evidence of me being nothing but stand up & deeply in love.idc about my ex husband & all that weirdness was gross to me anyway because I was trying to escape him but when this happened with my very last relationship... My God I was so in love... We had a deeply passionate love... But he let everyone whom had nothing but a track record of toxicity & eventually I was able to prove their fuxx shxx & they all had their own partners & "happy"' lives... He chose people pleasing until he finally woke up but I was already gone....

[@nikicarrie4071]

You should talk about wendy Williams. Her husband is the reason shes going through this 😔

[@tashibalampkin8555]

Those men he called friends and family better watch themselves. They help ruin a man's trust towards his wife. His father gonna straight to Shady Pines.

[@jazdj04]

2nd guy is being abused in more way by his own family members!

[@ShineOnBenevolentSun]

That man in Boise doesn't understand what it's like to date in a conservative community like that. I went to high school there but have perspective from moving around so let me say: 1. It's insular; if you haven't been there your whole life or don't belong to their local religious cults it can be tough to break in. 2. To women raised in that environment, men being forward and asking for digits is scary - women might be giving it out of fear. Or titillation. 3. The local cults are pervasive, and normalize getting married young. If you're older and single and/or not projecting the desire to settle down, you're weird and doubly scary. When you're older and looking to settle down, you're probably going to settle. *Unless you're among the exceptions, the super rich elite (then all bets are off.)

[@naturallyhoneybrown]

yeah, I could see that. Moving from a major city to a smaller town was definitely a culture shift for me. it's interesting how different things are from state to state.

[@erzabetf9544]

Women won’t date that guy in Boise because he thinks “persay” is a word. 😂

[@Holisticallycarol]

This is a pure case of the wives words not mastering. The fact that others made this much of an impact, tells the story that he took them over her. Leave that woman alone.

[@phabulouss1]

This so called girlfriend needs blocked.

[@allaboutstace77]

Love you Burb!

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

YES! She's my morning women's news network for me.😹😹😹😍🧐🍿☕

[@allaboutstace77]

@@kayshawnsimmons5585 yup, I click so fast when I see that she posted a new video😹

[@msannmarie87able]

I love the second story because I just turned 37 on the 26th. I needed to hear those comments so bad. I feel like my life just got started ❤❤❤

[@TheePrincessBrat]

First one- big big red flag. That’s not a good friend. If he treated you poorly and that’s why you cut him off, I would end the friendship. Also, I would wonder if she secretly likes him. Sometimes people are so invested in your relationship with someone else because _they_ are interested in the person. Idk how that works but I know it happens Ooo the second story low key ties into this comment. Don’t trust friends/family who are overly involved in your relationship!

[@KarlaBermudez88]

(1st story ) It’s one thing for friends to pull that type of stuff but your own bros and dad 🥴

[@SRHisntSilent]

2:46 These type of men are so fuckin evil. Like, jealousy is crazy destructive I hate that he didn't even think it through but he's definitely not going to get with the ex wife again. Especially if he doesn't unlearn the misogyny and alpha bs. He didn't deserve to be manipulated but he was so wrong to turn on his WIFE. So glad Kevin Samuels isn't around to make up more lies

[@AmericanDreamer]

but now Fresh&Fit, Tate and other 💩 faces have taken up his role!!! Many other 💩

[@1108-g1q]

Re the guy in Boise: The truth is that things were not better for him in CA. It's that time has passed and women everywhere have new perspectives. Many men say that they had better success a decade ago than they do now. It isn't geography. Re the yoga guy: it's always better for the woman when a man wants out of the marriage due to his infidelity. He will be careless and not planning (same thing that got him into his affair, no doubt). The wife will get much more out of the divorce settlement.

[@dorino9057]

I agree women everywhere in general are finally waking, so it’s going to be harder for all men, we’re not falling for that bullshit anymore. It’s better to be single and celibate, then to deal with misogynistic modern men

[@GardensFlowers-f7k]

FAFO.... no 2nd chances. XYs aren't worth the risk

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

When you double back it always gets worse. Remember- That's your ex for a reason. And your Shooting craps with your life going back

[@danakchampion]

Idaho man: "I've done literally EVERYTHING... (*except therapy)."

[@ccannon1]

3:20 he clearly is easily manipulated 😂😂😂

[@TheePrincessBrat]

They probably been manipulating him his whole life and this situation is the one that opened his eyes to the manipulation. Consequences of “bros before hos” dogma

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

The Whole Family part took me out😳😹😹😹😹🤦🏾‍♀️🤡🤛🏾

[@juned1719]

That is not her best friend it’s not even a friend.

[@madarawijerathne276]

1st story cut off the 'friend ' 2nd story hard believe op's wife never once said how awesome op's family is

[@continuousself-improvement1879]

Story 2: that is a diabolical circle he's got. Although he was weak for falling into their manipulations, I could understand that it might be unimaginable that your own father wants to break up your marriage. It seemed that they (i.e. his family and friends) were jealous that he was financially successful and had a beautiful wife and they wanted to steal that from him. Whatever happened to "bros before ho3s?" 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Egh0127]

1:03 I'd give her one more chance and that's it before cutting her off too. People keep enabling friends and boyfriends/husbands and all it leads to is more emotional stress for good women. Stop enabling.

[@88Roshan]

Imagine moving to Boise and thinking it’s going to be like SoCal 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@MelissaThompson432]

35 is the prime of life. You've done all the stupid things, you're still a young'n, you're wise to the world, you can afford things.... By young'n, I don't mean "you're not old yet." That's what I say about somebody _my_ age. You won't be here for another 30 years...that's another whole lifetime from your perspective. Think about it.