I Found The Cringiest Couple On The Internet…

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

FOLLOWING ON FROM THIS VIDEO: I forgot to mention in the video that I saw Raf speak about their social media accounts being something he isn’t necessarily into (I’m paraphrasing) which leads me to believe the social media accounts and the skits are more driven by Iyah. In case it’s not clear in the video I don’t actually think this woman is a bad person I simply think she has fallen into the trap of oversharing on the internet for social media fame and validation. I don’t believe everything needs to exist on the internet. Some of their videos shown (and some controversial ones that I couldn’t include as they are now deleted) serves as a nice reminder that I think we could all benefit from- pausing and asking ourselves before posting “Is this a good idea?” “Who does this post benefit?” or even “Why do I feel the need to share this?” Our social blue print is important and can harm not only ourselves but those we love now and in the future. Alot of what I have shared today isn’t the worst of the worst that’s out there online but the more influencers choose to make an income and grow a following this way it leads to them needing to overshare more and more to keep the machine growing and to ‘feed the beast’ which after a certain point you just can’t come back from or take back things that you have shared.

[@themalawiandiner180]

You made a good point about over-sharing, I think the drive to make money and addiction to validation can drive people to unhealthy levels, which is what we see alot on social media. I also think this could be their main source of income, so they feel the pressure to do the most, to make ends meet.

[@ayyyejesterdazed]

HEY🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️You gotta look at the recent YT short about his nickname for her. He’s making all these ‘bird’ references and she’s so sheltered that she has no idea that he’s actually mocking her in front of everyone. People in the comments are telling her the meaning behind calling a young woman a bird and it’s been 3 weeks now and she still hasn’t deleted the short. EVERYONE is telling her that is a highly derogatory reference he’s making and she’s so ditzy that she’s just laughing it off

[@ayyyejesterdazed]

@@themalawiandiner180he called her a ‘bird’ in front of everyone🤯 Bird: Generally a girl or young woman who comes across as vain, ditzy, stupd or useless. Quit talking about your hair, you dmb bird. (Urban dictionary)

[@Complicatedairflow]

Omg you guys what was in the deleted videos?

[@awkwrdlypurrfectxo]

@ayyyejesterdazed I’m not sticking up for him or anything just givin another perspective- in our polish language some words may not mean the “urban dictionary” type definition that English words mean. He may not mean it that way since he spent most his life in Poland. Or, it could be an inside joke between them & completely harmless. I’m not a fan of her or the fact he chose to be w someone his daughters age. But just giving another possible answer.

[@shiina29]

The older I get, the more younger people seem like children to me. So this feels like an adult dating a child to me. And it should to him, too, which is unbelievably creepy.

[@leila_de_hautjardin]

Yeah. I am 31 and I can't imagine dating a gen Z boy. So it's crazy to me that this 40 something man is married to a 21 yo that he started to date when she was 19 😮. 19 year old girls and boys are not that different from teenagers. That's creepy.

[@Siures]

@@leila_de_hautjardinNineTEEN. They ARE teens.

[@dismurrart6648]

My sister is 17 and im 33. She gives me dating life updates/life updates in general. I could not imagine in any universe wanting to even hang out with wven the 19 y.o. version of her friends, let alone date one.

[@lilomonroe3466]

even me at 18, just seeing 15 year olds makes me feel so old so I KNOWWW this guy is a freak to society

[@snooopydooo]

​@@dismurrart6648Right?!! A 21yo I sold something to on Marketplace became one of my friends and I'm twice her age. Now I'm a pretty young minded person, I don't look my age, I listen to all the same music as she did, watched the same shows, had the same interests, we actually had a tonne in common.. BUT the age gap was still glaringly obvious in that she *acted* like a 21 year old. Her views were immature, her friends were horrible influences and was always asking for advice on the most obvious things. I was often thinking how creepy men/women must actually be to want to date someone this young 😑 Just being her friend was exhausting, I felt like I was bouncing between generations on a daily basis. We aren't friends anymore but Im grateful I met her, from a psychological point of view I learned alot lol

[@someonerandom256]

I'm 41 and I have a 19 old son. Hell no! I know it's legal, but it's still predatory and creepy.

[@sarahalderman3126]

EXACTLY! It’s sick and obviously predatory.

[@Johnny_Utah]

I mean these two already have a kid together now, right? what do you want, for the guy to abandon his wife/daughter? I doubt the dude owns a time machine, so seems like he should stay with the mother of his daughter now.

[@ND-nx1nt]

"I've wanted to be a mother all my life" her life being a blip.

[@Zommbie1]

It reminds me of my high school students who would write “when I was young…” I always wanted to say: “Sweetie, you are still young”.

[@ND-nx1nt]

@@Zommbie1 exactly 💯 She's still very wet behind the ears. Wait until she gets to 27 - 30 she's going to open her eyes and outgrow him.

[@CJ-jy4vd]

@@Zommbie1😅😅😅😅

[@ilovenycsomuch]

What’s a blip?

[@sibzism]

​@@ilovenycsomuch the 30 seconds she's been alive for 😂

[@amerikan_queen]

I also think there is a difference being in your 20’s dating older than 30’s dating older. In your 20’s you’re barely even mature enough to date another 20 something.

[@alexisdawnnn]

I purposely avoid all of their content. It creeps me out.

[@council.of.fluffies]

Omg same! It's creepy, cringe, gives me all kinds of icks!

[@tetehl4731]

Same

[@CreativeChristianContent]

Yeah she looks like a hostage in some of her videos

[@sylviebt4455]

Yes! It’s so gross. She’s his daughter’s friend. I blocked them, so cringe.

[@autismworldtravel]

Yeah I watched a few and hated their channel. I am with a whyte man and I try to support all BW content, but I had to unsubscribe and hit block. I don’t want to bash this young lady, I’ve surely had my share of mistakes. But I can’t watch that mess.

[@ashleyadeline1537]

She's happy she doesn't have to work right now, but little does she know, that means she will have to work 3× harder in 10-15 years, with zero education, credentials or work experience.

[@daebak_hana]

😂he will replace her with a younger version in 10-12yrs

[@themalawiandiner180]

She has a job, she's an influencer, plus her husband has a job too, they probably have savings too, maybe assets, also there lots of companies looking for content creators, her experience is immerse. Why would she need to work 10 yrs from now?

[@MADEbySOUL]

@@themalawiandiner180 I mean it depends if they have a contract that plans what happens if they split for any reason. As a wife, she does have more legal options than a non legal partner. However, as an Influencer we do not know yet how long this kind of career will be sustainable. What happens if she can no longer obtain the same amount of viewers. So it could be a fear that these women will be financially abused. Where the partner does not help them financially or control them using money. “No. I won’t give you cash or a credit card for gas because you can leave me.” If they split and a partner refuses to give them a fair share since they control the finances, these women might not know how to obtain a job.

[@dismurrart6648]

​@@themalawiandiner180influencing is often a 5-7 year career. After that, often they have to get jobs editing new peoples stuff. Similarly, being the 19 year old a guy whos into barely legal content marries also has a famously short career length. In the next 6 years alone, she is going to change and develop mentally and that means she may no longer like her husband.

[@Jordè1222]

I think she is set for life actually. If he wanted to leave she would get child support and probably their house too so she's pretty set up. It looks like they love and depend on eachother

[@asdfzxcvqwert]

The fact that he has a child of similar age and didn't "notice" her age until 3 weeks in, it screams pedo or that he was not at all involved in his daughter's life. Like all people younger than me seem like children, AND I DONT EVEN HAVE ANY OFFSPRING. To actually have a child and not feel that way is bizarre and horribly sus

[@sarahalderman3126]

100% sicko!

[@autismworldtravel]

I concur. I have three sons aged 15-22, and a daughter 24. I can’t imagine being 40+ dating someone that young. They look juvenile to me.

[@LeilaVividSounds]

It also depends on culture. My dad is Ugandan and is married to and has children with a woman the same age as my dad’s first born son. My dad is 78 this year and his wife is 50, the same age as my brother and I’m almost 45. In Ugandan culture no one bats an eyelid at things like that. No one cares. They’re both adults. I find it weird because I grew up in the UK and am only half Ugandan. My first born child is older than 2 of my half siblings. It’s legal, so the only thing I can do is worry about things other than that.

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@LeilaVividSounds oh lord that is so gross. Definitely feel sorry for that poor woman, and all the kids. That kind of thing f’s up generations of people. Sorry for your experience.❤️

[@autismworldtravel]

@@LeilaVividSounds depends on what age she was when he met her. The younger a person is, the more an age gap matters. If she was really young, like 23 when they MET (or younger), your dad sucks and is a predator. Nobody cares about super large age gaps if a person is 30+ years old. At 30 you’re fully mature and have life experience to make decisions. It’s true that some people are more mature than others, but it’s a huge red flag when old men call women older than 24, “old.”

[@shelbyroselaganelli]

I was in a 20 year age gap relationship. I was 25 and he was 45. It didn't last... obviously. He ended up acting more like a father figure and we had nothing in common. He also had a lot of issues which should have been a red flag as to why a 45 year old is seeking someone so much younger. These men usually have issues.

[@Jun11183]

Not always. A good friend of mine is married to a man more than 20 years older than her. It is a good and stable relationship and not like father and daughter at all. They married when she was around 23 years and are still going strong. So it can go well, though I do agree that there are enough cases where the relationship is a bit strange and weird.

[@ml0270]

@@Jun11183 A healthy, emotionally stable woman in her early twenties is not usually physically attracted to a much older guy (unless he is super attractive) and wouldn´t be able to s3xualize a man who looks around the same age as her father. Behind that there is usually some childhood trauma or some interest

[@Jun11183]

@@ml0270 True in a lot of cases, just not always. They are the rare exception I guess. She is almost 40 now, came from a stable and loving childhood, and he did too. All I can say is their love is genuine. It can happen, a healthy normal relationship between people even with an age gap. Rare but still can happen.

[@Bunny11344]

I was never attracted to older men.. idk I have a young soul at heart. My bf is 5 years younger than me but he’s emotionally intelligent

[@R_S747]

​@@Jun11183 erm... If you say so...

[@lowans971]

I remember a guy in his 40s, complaining about his GF in her 20s like "she's always on her phone with her friends, laying around the pool ". I told him : "wait, what did you expect?". Also, we already know what really happens when the camera is off. There is always something dysfunctional behind the oversharing of happiness online.

[@leeanndra1112]

OMG she looks so young. She sounds so young. She is is so young. Watching this makes me so uncomfortable!

[@Bunny11344]

I feel like she looks older but he definitely looks old

[@LelynnsSquirrels]

i use to have friends just like that.. by the time she was 30, she was constantly arguing with him cuz he was always too tired to wanna go out & do anything anymore.. she couldn't understand why, til i explained to her that that's how a 54 year old man just is.. they don't wanna go fly kites with u, & the kids anymore.. HOMIE NEEDS A NAP!!

[@ilovenycsomuch]

Reminds me of Carrie & Big from sex & the city

[@wakeupthetruth2091]

EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! My hubby and I are 13 years apart. I’m in my 40’s and he is in his 60’s. Even in a mature relationship, I get bugged that he doesn’t want to be more active. He prefers a movie for a date, while I prefer a bike ride or hiking. Can you imagine a 20+ year gap. She WILL GET BORED Sooner than later.

[@Jimjam98590]

How would he feel if his 19y/o daughter was dating one of his buddies 😳

[@jazzyg1162]

He didn’t sound confident when he answered he would “accept” his daughter dating someone his age. But I call BS!! 😂😂

[@British_Cocoa]

Gross your friend sleeping with your child you gave birth to Hella weird!!

[@ninairish763]

So gross

[@Jasmin-uf4sj]

If she was 30 and he 50 I wouldn't mind. But a 19 year old girl has not enough experience to not be manipulated by a 41 year old man! You need your twenties to realise who you are and what you want from life. It is different if you grow older with a partner at similar age than to get married at 19/20 and live a life that your 40 year old husband chose for you. And besides that: why did he see her as someone to pursue? 19 year olds look like children to me and I am in my thirties!

[@CierraRoberts]

I can confirm that 19 year olds look like children. I’m almost 21 and just recently got asked if my parents were home by a door-to-door salesman!

[@leila_de_hautjardin]

I sometimes get hit on by 18-20 year old boys (yeah because they are still boys not men !). I could never imagine dating one ! That would be predatory. Also I don't want to deal with their immaturity.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

And they got into a relationship on the very first day of meeting one another! She clung to him to escape her own immaturity, developmental delays, and mental disabilities.

[@mandi3891]

Absolutely. My BIL just started dating a man in his mid 40's. The difference is that my BIL is 30. They don't have the power disbalance that comes from a big age gap since both of them are grown men.

[@simming.r]

@@mandi3891 Off topic but what does BIL mean? Google couldn’t answer 🥲

[@VaeMhairi]

I think they're purely built on rage bait.

[@ayyyejesterdazed]

And they use the baby for sympathy votes. I personally don’t see her truly bonding with her daughter. But that’s IMO and allegedly

[@awkwrdlypurrfectxo]

Yes & ppl fall for it and comment even more 🙄

[@ToniaAlex13]

Yes and that's why i don't watch them. Skip over their content and select do not recommend

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

And controversial, drama type content you’re right

[@michellehernandez2840]

I peeped that early. They post whatever makes people angry and they love to talk against them for engagement/$

[@TrueImmortality]

Her family doesn't like her husband, and they don't support their marriage. That tells me all I need to know. "They barely like me" tells me all I need to know about how a 19 yr old got involved with a 40 yr old.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Of course they don’t. Who likes pee dough’s!

[@jazzyg1162]

I don’t think she got involved with a 40 yr old because her family “barely likes her”! Sounds like it was their breaking point. I would be enraged anytime I would see that grown man with my child! Too much to stand by and watch… 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@TrueImmortality]

@@jazzyg1162 "they barely like me" is not something someone would say if they had a strong foundation with their folks. She seems to crave love and attention, and she found it with this guy in what seems to be a very co-dependent and unhealthy way.

[@LoveK1]

@@TrueImmortalityshe’s young. She absolutely would say that they barely like her if they had a massive falling out. Not everything is a clue to hidden trauma. Some people just talk like that. Teens in particular.

[@TrueImmortality]

@@LoveK1 There usually is a reason someone does something like this, though lol. Sure, she could just be a young woman who decided to rebel. But that's not usually what happens in a case this extreme, where you exile yourself from your own family over a dude 25 years older than you. Men who go after women this young know what they're doing. They don't pick women with healthy family lives.

[@PugChubRub]

Not being a pedo seems so damn impossible for social media “influencers”

[@MrBaskins2010]

Using your daughter’s peers like this is gross

[@carolineweaver343]

His friends must ROAST him, and he thinks they’re “jealous”

[@Gooeybrowniebaby]

I wouldn't marry my dad's classmate and broadcast it to the whole world. Let's just say that.

[@Jilliankochavim]

Right? 😂

[@Schokoladentoertchen]

I feel so bad for the daughter, having to watch a video of her dad grinding on a woman her age. eww...

[@lmusima3275]

To be honest his dad is good looking ❤

[@paulamugabi7320]

Dad's classmate🤔🤔🤔

[@J_vibe2high]

It’s giving he will ditch you like the last wife and get with someone the same age as your child…

[@paulamugabi7320]

😮😮😮

[@wandulyncollins5266]

He's convinced her she doesn't have 2 full time jobs?

[@mancilethomas1814]

She’s working! The KZbin channel is a job.

[@OnlyLilynn44]

⁠​⁠@@mancilethomas1814 Yeah and that’s the issue. She thinks her only job is being a mom. She doesn’t even seem to connect the dots that what she’s doing on KZbin is a job. It’s work and she’s contributing to supporting this family. Meanwhile she only thinks she’ simply a SAHM and only her husband work 💀 She literally has 2 full time jobs while bro only has 1. Technically she works more than him, she’s doesn’t even realize she’s essentially more of the breadwinner than her husband.

[@serenity2010sh]

Thanks to KZbin and tiktok.

[@Richbarbie1]

@@OnlyLilynn443 full time jobs including being a mother and a wife

[@lizzi7128]

​@@mancilethomas1814exactly. The initial comment right over your head

[@Greatgodofcows1111]

I know multiple couples who have an age gap of 7-10 years, and the amount of disagreements they have is surreal, so I can't imagine what type of mental differences a relationship of 22 years can have, especially in a couple years with raising their children or health concerns arise.

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Greatgodofcows1111 coming from someone who is trying to pick up the pieces after 25 yrs and no family except my 2 kids it definitely effects you mentally especially when you wake up realizing at 19 you gave up everyone and everything for 25 yrs and I been left emotionally mentally and physically damaged and trying to dig myself out of all the stuff he has done to me my credit my life for not wanting to be with him if anyone takes anything from my comment is please any girl under 30 run fast and figure yourself out 1st

[@Greatgodofcows1111]

@@chrissyfanelle9642 I am so sorry you had to go through that. You will be okay even if it might take time. I hope for the best for you.

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Greatgodofcows1111 tyvm me to it has been a lot I truly appreciate your kind words ❤️

[@winxclubstellamusa]

And they were together since she was 19!! He was her very first boyfriend, and they got into a relationship on the very first day!

[@sarahalderman3126]

Well of course there is, both sides must be mentally ill to even be in the situation at all. Hardly surprising that a pee dough fillic relationship have issues…

[@tigerkitten8352]

I dated a man 13 years my senior. I was mid 20s when I started dating him. He was nearly 40. I don't recommend at all. It is very much a bad idea. When a man that old is dating such younger women, there is a reason.

[@fgorlando]

This couple is beyond thirsty. More like dehydrated

[@Jay_531]

😂

[@Burrburrcloud]

😂😂😂

[@serenity2010sh]

😂!

[@YasminMahnaz]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lovp1]

🤣🤣🤣

[@saracrawford9908]

They both seem very immature...

[@ZeBiii]

I think the bigger problem in age gap is which age this gap is around. Like being 19 & dating so much older is like.. ur still a frickinh child like not even close to be mature enough… My husband & me have 10yrs age gap BUT we started dating when I was 27 & he 37.. I was old enough to be on same level with him, also we are still same generation 😂

[@peytoncollins3962]

If they met when she was 21-24, it would still be weird because it's over a 10 year age gap relationship. I met my partner when I was 22 and he was 31. I was in the Navy before I met him and did a lot. You mature and live life more than one would in their 20s.

[@OnlyLilynn44]

Being 27 with a 37 y/o partner is still weird to me I’m sorry. But on the bright side, at 27 your frontal cortex lobe is fully formed so at least I know you were using your fully formed adult brain to reason dating a 37 year old man. So it’s all good.

[@autismworldtravel]

I think the younger a person is, the more the age gap matters. Age gaps during teenage years should always be actively discouraged. Especially if the age gap is more than a couple years. The older you get, the less age gap matters. As life experiences shape who you really are and gives you the knowledge to make decisions, even if said adult is still immature. Nobody cares if a 32 year old dates a 70 year old despite the significant gap. But 18 and 27 is still problematic to me, even if it’s “legal.” It is inherently exploitative

[@peytoncollins3962]

@@autismworldtravel I agree 18 and 27 is a weird age gap. I am with someone older, but at least I met them when I was 22 and not 18. I'm tired of people going after those who are grown adults if they're above the age of 21 or 22 when they meet someone at max 10 years older (depending on what they're doing). If the younger person has been in the military or has been working FT since 18 and living on their own, then I think they could date someone older. You go through life a lot faster than your peers of the same age.

[@dawn-from-the-lab]

I left an age gap marriage in 2021. 16 years we were married. He was 9 years older than me. We got together when I was 19. He groomed me into the wife he wanted and it ended up being such a manipulative and abusive marriage. As I mentally collapse and started learning about narcissism on my own and what was going on in my life, I saw how he groomed all of the women around him and how he had zero male friends. He targeted previously abused women so he could be their savior; making them easier to groom.

[@nanniezeruhia5565]

Thanks for commenting.....it strikes a chord. 😢 You're really brave and strong 💪🏽

[@annie-sc]

These "influencers" think they're on a reality show 😂 I just block that kind of crap from my feed, especially those who expose their kids too much

[@selrox879]

Same here. Or ra*ist, misogyny etc 😂 i have a loooong list of block. I ve never liked any of their posts but somehow red pillers hijacked my feed😂

[@SikeChick]

Ugh! Someone else can say "he's old enough to be your dad" because they're saying it like "that is not okay" but for HER to say "he's old enough to be my dad" (or this abomination of "I could date you or your dad") is super weird. All the clips you posted just made me cringe. She oozes desperation and a need for validation. He seems like he just amused (or maybe bemused) by her antics. Neither of them seem like bad people. It's just that couples social media posts tend to bring out the cringe in everyone.

[@Azulaozai._]

I am younger than Iyah. I watched their “couple” content in 2020 during the lockdown. I was still a minor & couldn’t wrap my head around their problematic age gap. Which goes to show that teenagers don’t really comprehend that some age gaps are inappropriate & not good for their well being, it’s the responsibility of the older person to walk away & not even wish to pursue this relationship. She is just one year older than his firstborn daughter. In the video with the three of them together, the daughter said that Raf was not in her life very much & also that she has some severe health problems. Iyah’s parents also refused to attend their wedding (I think they left in between) because they believed that they were just dating & didn’t want them to get married (THEY said all this). Raf always looks at her condescendingly when she talks.

[@Farsowskitchen]

I haven't ever seen this couple until today. They are super cringy, taking over sharing to the next level for monetization 😔 🤔

[@Bunny11344]

The dancing is so cringe

[@katherineratcliffe8635]

The amount of times they mention their age gap feels like they rely on “rage bait” for their views

[@missvoorhees7964]

I just know if my teenager brought home a nearly 50 year old man,he'd be leaving in a b*dy bag.......

[@WalkingandTalkingAussieGirl]

Lets ask the 19 year old how she feels at 40.

[@Siures]

My husband is not a babysitter. He’s the father. Tbh, it feels like he’s quite immature and also in a kind of midlife crisis. He was still going out, met a 19yo girl and that her lifestyle seemed to suit him is… a sign how immature he is. I don’t think he would be able to really support her and the kid if something happened. Not in a financial way - don’t know anything about his education and jobs. But in caring for a sick child, sitting together and planning for the following years. The more videos you showed the more I thought: „20 years ago it would habe been a bmw cabrio“ I feel with his Ex. I wouldn’t like watching this and my daughter in the middle of it, playing it for validation from her Dad. I think both daughters (and the wife, too) will be embarrassed in a few years as they mature. I would never want to see my parents kissing like they did in this TikTok.

[@kaylanewell420]

I was in a 10 year age gap relationship at age 22 and honestly it was definitely the worst relationship of my life. The level of control and manipulation was severe and even at that age I didn’t realize it for years. So difficult to get out of and I feel like I’m still working through all of the brain warping that happened. So worried for this girl. Also, there is no such thing as an “executive director” of a will, it’s called an executor and it is NOT the same of a beneficiary, she is so misinformed she doesn’t even seem to realize that it doesn’t benefit her at all to be an executor….also the weirdest freaking thing to brag about just wow 😵‍💫

[@nikkismith2858]

Executor does all the paperwork/work and pays off bills etc! She absolutely does not realise what it means!

[@susanjeffries5108]

Yeah that was super weird. She's dancing around and he's just sort of standing in the background, lurking. She really doesn't understand what's going on. Executive director of a will? 😬

[@LunalPotato]

Not only the fact that she does work, but the fact that "I've dreamed of this my entire life" Girlll you have been concious for about 5-10 years, that's not enough time to decide that you want to hugely disadvantage yourself in the working world when you have about 60+ years left of your life

[@Tbaby9361]

How was she “miss independent”when she was 19years old and most likely dependent on her parents she went from being dependent on her parents to being dependent on her husband

[@nfk6161]

I would be mortified if my dad was dating, much less marrying and having a baby with someone only a year older than me...

[@paulamugabi7320]

In my Cardi B voice what was the reason. Oh I forgot gr00ming

[@sabrinajames6753]

she is the breadwinner of the family then 🤣🤣🤣

[@yo-31]

I do not think a 19 years can be fully mature... you can be up to certain level. Maturity comes with time. The oversharing is also a way to justify and get 'approval' from people. I think it is fishy....

[@VaeMhairi]

No I don't think so either. There's a difference between being 'mature for your age' and actually having years of life experience.

[@dismurrart6648]

Yeah i know a ln 18 year old who had to grow up early. Shes the best case scenario for maturity at 18/19 and shes still incredibly immature compared to where she will be in 10 years even.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I agree

[@kambyr]

If he’s always there, when’s he doing the work to take care of her?

[@cardwitch91]

He’s a typical “None of the women my age - or even in their late-twenties or thirties- will take my BS, so I got after women under 25 so I can mould them into what I want!” man. Together with her immaturity, they are horribly co-dependent. What the hell is she gonna do in 10 years when she realises her entire life has been tied to a man she’s utterly dependent on?

[@1234scann]

Age gaps after everyone is 30 or older are less problematic to me. There's good evidence to suggest our brains are still developing until 25, and I would argue we are still growing a lot as a person until 30. 20-40 even though the same age difference seems more predatory than 30-50.

[@UsernamesForDummies]

When she was born, he was already older than she was when they met. I’m sorry, but I find that really jarring.

[@niewieder99]

Lol. I’m not an expert in Polish or American law… but I think instead of ‘Executive Director’, she meant ‘Executor’ of his will. This is how much life experience she’s had. And don’t get me started on this creepy dude.

[@Whatinthehell20]

Here's the whole damn thing all summed up: They are a couple that are trying waaaaay too damn hard to prove they are happy, and that almost always equates to a reality that is far less than that. I'm guessing here that someone (or more) in one or both of their families are not in support of this relationship for whatever number of reasons and they are making sure they prove those people/person that it's not true. "Here's how happy we are... here's us dancing... here's us being silly... here's us kissing and being romantic." It's allll a show. Hate to say it, but I can guarantee a few more years of this and there'll be the "we're splitting up but going to co-parent our daugther" video.

[@tinyandtired]

Our brains aren't even finished fully developing until 25. Bro has had a whole life before her brain has even finished developing. Girl run, this is a cycle. He is going to ditch you for a younger model and leave you with zero job experience and financially destitute.

[@Garglicious]

I had found them on a reel & i wrote a comment on how weird & gross it is.. i got attacked by her fanbase on how i am going to die single💀 Not that they are wrong but like nothing wrong with dying alone😂😂😂 Definitely wrong being in a sexual relationship when she was only 19 &&& almost his daughter's age😭😭🤢🤢 🥴🥴

[@moustik31]

I grew up watching my mother and aunts being in horrible relationships. I'm single but I'm happier than they have ever been.

[@dismurrart6648]

Her audience is definitely men who want this fantasy

[@Garglicious]

@@moustik31 exactly.. this idea of women dying alone they scares us and manipulate us into getting in horrible relationships. Like stfu and let me die alone in peace 💀

[@gailainsley6939]

People that say that are soo codependent and cringey 😅😩😅

[@gailainsley6939]

@@moustik31. Girl. This is the case for most. I don’t know why people are soo codependent. You don’t need someone else to find happiness. People are soo weird 😩😂😴

[@mrslivinginhope]

The stepfather was smart to pull out of the Dr. Phil show. Iyah and Raf choose to be online however their family deserves as much privacy as they desire. It is ok to change your mind when it comes to putting yourself online. It is interesting Iyah and Raf can change their mind about what country they want to reside in, go through the process of building their dream home and then sell in an extremely short space of time. However, they were so upset when Iyah's dad probably made the best decision to protect the entire family in the long run. Iyah and Raf spoke negatively about her family but nothing negative about his family was always a puzzle to me. Her interaction with his family was very awkward too.

[@ItsMe-eu8nx]

Maturing..... at 19...... 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 she's still a CHILD

[@heysaras]

This woman’s life is really low tier entertainment.

[@kerstinfontaine7941]

12:32 at 19, I dated a 29yo. When I think back to all the times he told me I was immature, all I can think is I KNOW! I was in high school six months ago! 😭 I’m currently 34 dating a 49yo and it’s a much different situation. Even tho the gap is larger, the relationship is much healthier. For what it’s worth these are my only two age gap relationships, every other guy was within 2yrs of my own age.

[@thezenoflux8244]

It’s giving Courtney Stodden and dirty Doug. Years later when she got away from him, she realized the truth and she hated him and all her enablers including her mom.

[@moustik31]

Did she? That's excellent news, I remember feeling concerned for her at the time.

[@happymelodieart]

Exactly! The oversexualisation is very reminiscent of Courtney indeed.

[@lizzi7128]

Her mother still manages her to this day, which I hate. Don't trust her judgment

[@julias2855]

I was 20 husband was 40. He was an athlete so he was in amazing shape and always dated younger. Very smart and we liked to discuss books, movies, etc. we r still friends and married. He does try to do the whole “I’m older and I know better thing”. I was clear I’m still growing and want to make my own mistakes. We talk a lot and marriage counseling helped tons. I was oldest in a family of immigrants. So as 1st kid/niece as a first generation, I made everyone’s appointments, took care of all school stuff, homework, work applications, etc. I was more immature in a real world way. Immature in my views of love and life. Husband loved and still does my excitement for life.

[@selrox879]

Eww..What the hell he talked to you about? Each time i see old men looking at me i want to throw up, and i did not had a dad growing up😂. I really hope time changes and young girls stop giving these creeps their bodies and their lives away.

[@julias2855]

@@selrox879 I think it depends on both individuals. My husband has always been very young in that he works out a lot. We talk all the time and still do. I love that he has life experience. I love how much he loves me. Every person is different and no one is a category. 🥰

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

No take it from your 45 yr old who was a stay at home mom and worked for her husband and my kids are grown and me and him split up and I’m starting my life over with absolutely nothing do you 1st please I wouldn’t want any young girl to be in my situation 😢

[@Jilliankochavim]

Same girl.. 43 and the financial abuse has been so hard to recover from.. especially now. Hugs.

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Jilliankochavim omg Ty I needed that to now it’s not just me I will 🙏 for the best for you as well ❤️

[@Naturegurl124]

Ok but that is likely because you worked for him but are now divorced. I'm a stay at home mom and have been for 12 years and have just started working a part time job but my husband has never prevented me from working or going to school ever, it was my choice to be a stay at home mom and he agreed that it's fine with him. And at the very least mothers should do it when their children are young if they can afford it

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Naturegurl124 well I’m happy for you but

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Naturegurl124 sorry but just because you can’t imagine it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to other people and people do take advantage of others

[@SusannaJ-g1l]

Wait until he starts developing age related ailments…she’ll run VERY fast 😂

[@diana-cy4kj]

No, she will be his “hospice wife”.

[@paulamugabi7320]

😱😱😱😱

[@techninja4136]

No, she’ll give up the rest of her life caring for him. On the other hand, if she got a debilitating illness he would be out the door looking for the next young girl.

[@lizzi7128]

I've been there in a way and unfortunately no, you usually stay. You give the best years of your life to look after others.

[@spunkycat6144]

With child support and his signature on all kinds of material things. 😅

[@MM-ng8lj]

I always dreamed of being a homemaker as well, and I was. I married a man 17 years older he earned well, very educated. My mistake was not having a higher education before marriage, he was older and ready for children. I have no regrets except I wish I had gone and gotten higher education of some sort before marriage so when we did divorce bc he became so mentally not kind to me, it left me only earning minimum wage while he went on now, has the education and career and now a Thai wife that is nearly 30 years younger. So I tell my girls be a stay at home mom if you want, best job if that's what you want but get a good education first something to fall back on in case the marriage ends.

[@hallihalloo586]

I was a subscriber to them when they still lived in Poland. I unsubscribed because the guy seemed incredibly controlling and narcissistic to me. poor girl she is still too young and in love to see the huge red flags.

[@wandulyncollins5266]

I always thought he moved them to Poland to isolate her from her family.

[@diana-cy4kj]

Why did they move to Poland of all countries?

[@hallihalloo586]

@@diana-cy4kjher husband is polish

[@Jac527]

@@wandulyncollins5266he is avoid the childcare bills of America plus trapping her and the kid in a foreign country 😬

[@MuseSunflower]

Your series on trad wives brought to my attention the irony when they shame career women but contradict themselves by being an influencer.. because they are indeed building a career, making money of their own, utilizing their marketing skills to grow a brand etc It is definitely disingenuous At least call it what it is - you are a working woman who has found a way to make a living outside of the traditional 9-5 There's absolutely nothing wrong with that so why fabricate

[@dismurrart6648]

My favorite is estee making it so clear she knows she has a job by trying to act like she isn't making money or that "this is a hobby so the money doesn't count"

[@MuseSunflower]

@@dismurrart6648 so delusional 😆

[@summerwhixh]

When het daughter gets to her age, shes going to have a serious reflection moment 😂

[@simoneXox]

Dying of cringe. " I'm at the age i could date him or his dad" ON THE BED🤢😫

[@jillannjohnson2290]

When i was 22, i was dating an older man - probably in his 40s. I stopped when i found he had a child older than me and a child younger. The age difference wasn't real until i found that out.

[@limodepimo5283]

I would generally not recommend going over the 15 year line and I recommend only engaging in an age gap relationship at 25+, because of brain development going on until 23, 24. I was 29, he was 41. So I was almost 30 and he was around 40. Still together.

[@winxclubstellamusa]

The brain actually completes development between 25 and 28, and it sometimes takes a few more years for the male brain to fully develop! But other than that, I completely agree. Anything other than a 15 year age difference is impossible, because the relationship MUST be between 2 developmental equals that happen to be of different ages, not a child and a 40 year old like these two. And congratulations on your healthy and reasonable age gap relationship!!

[@hailyjohnson407]

I agree! My mom and her husband have a 16 year age gap, but they started dating when my mom was 40 and my step-dad was 56. At that point, they are in the same place in life and have a similar amount of life experience. My mom is only 3 years older than his oldest child, which is weird, but again, they met in their 40s and 50s.

[@Kazbing11]

You’re my new favourite! Not many people take issue with the Karen meme but you do! I’m actually called Karen and I can’t say anything online without people throwing it at me. All genuine discussion is gone as soon as some joker realises what my name is. And they all think they’re hilarious and original. Drives me insane 😂

[@ayannareyes8734]

The fact that his wife is close in age to his daughter is deeply disturbing

[@gabimckowen9104]

Honestly when I see posts like theirs or even just people in my daily life who over post their relationship, I just feel like they are searching for validation online.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I sadly agree

[@SparklingRutabaga]

Their brand: Teen Mom x 90 Day Fiancé x To Catch a Predator. Those are my feelings…in a nutshell 😊

[@jazzyg1162]

The hurt she’s feeling over her family not “liking her” is driving her to be even more attached/dependent to him. Saying her parents (that are the same age as her husband) don’t like him & wanted her to cancel the wedding… They knew their baby was too young to be in a relationship with someone so much older. Secluding her even more! He’ll be tired of those silly dances and being called old man sooner than later! Guaranteed!

[@kararookie]

I don’t mind age gap relationships as long as both people are consenting AND have fully developed brains. I don’t approve of age gaps when the younger person is under 25. That weirds me out

[@Lobos222]

Did you just say women under 25 are stupid? LoL

[@dismurrart6648]

Honestly the whole rant about "i only want to be a mom, i don't want to work" makes the boomer in me come out in the most loving way. Tough luck buttercup. All i want to do is garden and raise dogs. That doesn't feed me though. Its not even just what shes saying that irritates me. She sounds whiny and entitled. "I don't want to work. I don't want to have to make a safety net." Too bad. Everyone on the planet has to protect ourselves.

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

The dad one was gross 🤮

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🤮

[@Megan6772]

I feel like the race difference plays a big part in this. Yup, I'm going there. If she had bagged a 41-year-old black dude I don't think she'd be so showboat-y about it. It's giving "I was chosen". I feel the same way about him. 🤢

[@leila_de_hautjardin]

You're right. In this "pasta and lobster" era, mixed couples are popular on social media.

[@rebeccak315]

This!

[@britniemonet_3693]

she probably most definitely would be showing off her guy? smh i NEVER thought abt race in dating and have MOSTLY had white boyfriends because of where I’ve lived this is so problematic to say my boyfriend and I have a 33 year old age gap best relationship I’ve ever had but we did start when I was 22 I already had career success and he didn’t start fully supporting me until covid now im working on opening a business with his advice….

[@britniemonet_3693]

shows me you’re constantly thinking abt it though and you’re probably the type to be rolling your eyes at me and my boyfriends or the white girl that can’t accept a black girl is getting more attention than you -i had a girlfriend like that she literally used to edit photos to make me look worse than her 😅like she couldn’t accept i was prettier, smarter, thinner had fuller hair and traveled more than her 😅 she could only accept me as “the underdog” now this girl is pregnant and naked on the internet begging for tips on twitter lol you women are the WORST

[@britniemonet_3693]

you’re old af if you actually think abt race when you’re dating it’s not the transatlantic era anymore you’d be the type to see your husband getting too close to a slave and torture the slave for it you women are the WORST

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

Also I was 19 and he was 32 is a big issue I never got the time to do anything but be a wife and mom now I’m left with nothing it’s horrible

[@Jilliankochavim]

Yeah, mine was only 2 years older when we married when I was 19. He left after 5 years for a 16 year old.

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@Jilliankochavim omg so sorry and wouldn’t put it past my ex he promised he would take everything from me if I left and I did and so the games begin it’s ridiculous I keep away from him because I now he’s a manipulating sob and had me that way for to long I may not have nothing but atleast I am ok for mentally especially to have put up with that for 25 yrs

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I am wishing you a beautiful future and hope your life is better now or at least moving in a better direction Sending love ❤️

[@chrissyfanelle9642]

@@CaitlinPawlowski tyvm I truly appreciate the kind words ❤️

[@selrox879]

​@@Jilliankochavim he a pdf.file. so sorry, all love❤

[@MissJoyce88]

What I don’t get is people are following them. They made this age gap their entire personality. Surely seeing the exact same video just wrapped in a different bow becomes really tedious after the 3rd, 4th? And as for my opinion on the age gap? Legality doesn’t equal morality

[@c_gaudet90]

He doesn’t disclose his occupation because it’s most likely illegal. He chose a much younger woman because he is a failure/joke to women his age. To a younger woman, he’s “cool”, “established” and “put together”. Women his own age would cringe at his infantile behavior. It feels like he’s trying very hard to stay young - it’s giving desperate. I wonder what happened to his older daughters’ mother? How did that end? Did she catch him with one of their daughters’ friends?

[@karol-sb6jn]

You are not alone, I feel the same way regarding bringing the father into the frame with that caption… I did not find it funny. Yuck!

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🤮

[@TNDRAV]

I’m in an age gap relationship but I’m not going to run around talking about it: people know and I don’t need to overshare.

[@MrsScorpionette]

Yeah, same: this couple seems to fetishise the age gap and that feels so 🤢

[@1994haphuong]

Thank you for going through and covering the cringy contents so we do not have to experience them, Caitlin. It's a hard hard job 😂

[@albawaterhouse]

The power dynamics between a 40 something year old man and a 20 something year old woman are crazy, it is a very unbalanced realtionship. On top of that I truly don't know what a couple with 20+ age gap have in common, talk about.

[@BagznBirdz]

I once looked through one of their video's commentaries when one dropped on my FB shorts. A lot of it was a) mostly women saying this is creepy and she's clueless, and b) guys attacking the people calling it creepy, saying this is the dream. So basically rage baiting and offering content for old men dreaming of getting it on with teenage girls. I'm just interested if her codependency will triumph over her self growth or not. The biggest period of growth and change is still ahead for her.

[@NunyaBusiness-q8w]

Sounds like he had his first kid young, life changed and got serious so his development into adulthood stopped. Once his kid got old enough to start his second family, his now starting over from the age he had his first kid mentally. So they are similar mentally.

[@julissavalencia1751]

Omg this comment made the situation even weirder for me😭 it was weird already but damn she’s the exact same age as me (1999) and he’s the around the same age as my dad (1978 and 1979)😭 he had me at 20 and I feel like he’s trying to start life anew at 45. He and my mom separated before I was born cuz he was too young… I think you’re on to something with this point

[@buku225]

The almost 50yr old is living off her but she doesn’t know yet 😢

[@Jilliankochavim]

I don’t get the women who think they want older men.. wait till your 40’s ladies. You will want younger 😉

[@Enriquez2222]

I'm 24 and I already prefer guys 20-22

[@Bunny11344]

Younger guys are better than old guys. I’m 37 bf is 32

[@thenoblemarketer6599]

🤣 that's cuz no man your age wants you gals

[@yamomma8560]

@@Bunny11344yass

[@lmusima3275]

I’m 46 and I don’t want younger men. I don’t mind if they’re 40 plus but not in their thirties or twenties

[@tinabecker1313]

My parents have an age gap, it was never really an issue until more recently because he’s not able to go out and do all the things she still can, so some resentment can build. But, I feel like it depends on the individuals within the relationship. They’ve been together over 38 years now so something’s working. These two just seem doomed and so cringe.

[@candycrushrr]

When it comes to the age gap…it’s not that she is mature but him being immature. You can just See it. He is your typical polish cringe guy

[@emilyemily444]

💯💯🎯🎯🎯

[@camichiBichi]

They lost their special factor: she is now a 25 year old mom with an older husband, there are a lot more of those. The thing is it will take a while for her to get out of her 20 year old brain

[@aniasmirkin-bazejewska810]

I know it is off-topic, but OMG, Caitlin, you look terrific in those colors!😍 And your make-up is gorgeous! Ok, and now I'm going back to the video😂

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Oh Thankyou so much 🤣❤️

[@aniasmirkin-bazejewska810]

@@CaitlinPawlowski 🥰

[@kiterafrey]

I am 33. I have nothing in common with a 19 year old. I could never. I'm an author and reader, so in a fantasy setting I don't really care either way. I love vampires, they're all way too old for me. but IRL, no. No no no no no. I could never, it would be like dating a child. *vomits in mouth* I look at at when I was 19-21 and have several different times where I dated someone in their 30s or 40s and I think back and realize they only wanted my body because there was no way they had anything in common with me.

[@MuseSunflower]

To be fair he looks young. I wouldn’t have thought there was a big gap between them at first glance But their content is cringe I believe happy people are busy living their lives and the embodiment of peace naturally shows through their presence. When these influencers try so hard to paint the image it does come off forced

[@ceejae2349]

I can’t watch the rest of this. These people creep me out. Sorry, I’ll wait for the next one thanks

[@Jilliankochavim]

Yeah it’s gross af. I have men this young hit on me a lot, and there’s no way.

[@Zommbie1]

You are not alone!!!! I don’t need to know this. Also, who WANTS to go on the Dr Phil show???????

[@nicolefroehlich5284]

Most of my life, I dated guys within a few years of me, but when I was 27, I met a 71 year old during Covid and we would spend hours talking about stuff and it was a pretty wholesome relationship, we never once even got in an argument. I say do whatever you want, as long as it remains healthy.

[@nevevenus]

the video with dating "him or his dad" 🤢 i could NEVER!!

[@ashleyhanna405]

I became mother at 3 months shy of 18 & again 10 days shy of 20 and my partner was only 2 years old than me and I can say(as a divorced 39 year old woman now) , what you “want” at 17/18 isn’t always what you NEED at 30 years old …

[@SereneQueen11]

Significant age gaps are fine if the youngest is 25+, imo. At 19, I met a 43 year old guy, handsome, charming. Tricked me into sharing my number, under the guise of a “job opportunity” (he ran a successful business). He freaked me out when he spoke of impregnating me and how lovely I’d look, yet we never had a date nor kissed. He actually had a on/off 25 y/o sugar baby who grew up dysfunctionally, childhood trauma and greatly depended on him financially and emotionally - he liked that. Now at 27, looking back I find many red flags which I was ignorant to. P.s. love your videos and your good common sense. New subscriber 💛

[@deckydeckstar825]

It's actually sad for me coz I share about mental health, don't even get 10 likes yet weird content like this gets tons of engagement. I remember a successful KZbinr (entertainment/celebrity content) said to me that unfortunately it's the reality that I might not be "successful" if I will be, it's going to take a long time coz people aren't generally interested in knowledge coz knowledge is boring. She wasn't saying it in a bad way coz I asked her for tips. She advised I can start with entertainment/celebrity content then gradually get into mental health. Which I won't do. It's just really disheartening, and demotivating seeing that no one is interested in what I'm passionate about. Yet content like this is booming.

[@AKbaby89]

Oh god. When i was 17, i was with someone who was 28 (i was also active in addiction and he was a dealer) and i truly never understood how bad it was until i hit 28. Once i hit 20, i started looking at him differently and started thinking it was weird, but then once i hit 28 and it made me physically sick to think about it, i realized how bad it really was. That was also my 2nd most abusive relationship (the other was my ex, who blackmailed and threatened me into marrying him at 21 when he was 30) and im 35 on thursday, and im still processing that.

[@Kazbing11]

Imagine making your inappropriate age difference relationship your WHOLE personality 😂