Why More Women Over 30 Are Choosing To Be Single

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

This one’s for the ladies who are trying to date in 2024 ❤ I see you I hope being able to vent some of your frustrations with the modern world of dating makes you feel less alone

[@GuidetteExpert]

I feel too many men are not responsible compared to women. Even in the Nordic countries its a problem that men are not as educated and working on them self's compared to the women. The men here make me feel like a mother over a child having to teach him basic education about sexual violence or sex education. I would have taught that at least they learned that if they don't go to university's.

[@rainbow9987]

Your so right , I believe when a guy likes you , you don’t have go and change yourself. It’s effortless.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

Shouldn't you try to remain unbiased?

[@garycheesman6821]

@@michaelhoudecki3657why? This isn’t BBC News at 10

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@garycheesman6821 BBC ain't unbiased!

[@sashalee07]

I'm 36 now. I've been single for 3 years and it's been the best decision ever. I spent my 20s with different people and been through really traumatic relationships. It took me a long time to find peace within myself and just enjoy my own company. I have male friends but that's the stopping point, they stay in the friend zone. I'm done with relationships and just enjoy doing my own thing. The men that have come at me in comments call me lonely and expired, but ya know what? That's fine. Think what ya want but my personal peace is more important to me than trying to be in a relationship.

[@anymjohnson1729]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! The BEST Decision of YOUR LIFE.

[@nofybn7794]

Yup

[@drek9k2]

@@anymjohnson1729 Until she hits 42. Those male friends will still ultimately prioritize their own wives and families over you. Your own dwindling circle of female friends? They are going the same way, this will continue until you are old enough to realize both now it is too late, and I picked the wrong friends because it was my single friends who kept me single and blocked me from finding a good man all these years. Which you won't even recognize til deep in your old age that men actually sized you up by scoping your friend group out first, he took one look at the company you keep and decided these are not the sort of people he wants in his life. Men write women off routinely for surrounding themselves with harpies, sknky women, manipulators, gossips, toxic people, narcissists, money grubbers, sleazy people. I mean, if a guy hangs out with criminals and addicts all day, would you marry him, or the man whose social circle consists of business professionals? Bingo. Those are professional hookup artists, not professional wives. It gets worse not better, as you'll only age out coming to find that even your own family is too busy with their own things for you, your advancing age is becoming a gaping chasm between yourself and the younger gen, and eventually it reaches the point where the last of your nontoxic friends? They too got married or a real relationship. Hell, this secret evil part of you may even covertly wish they'd fail, just to be spiteful. Hopefully, you won't be that one in your friends group. You are doing the literal exact wrong thing you need to be doing at your age. The one good thing you are doing is trying to heal, but the issue is, most of the time from what I've seen women mean by "healing" is patching up their own bruised ego and damaged self esteem, not actually working through all the various childhood and psychological traumas that led them here nor addressing all the things wrong with them and their lifestyle in need of fixing no matter how uncomfortable. Shattering my ego was the single best thign I ever did for myself, just having brutal, unremorseful, relentlessly ruthlessly aggressive self judgment and appraisal to deal with all wrong with me to move forward. The trick is maintaining, like fi you lost weight, quit drinking or nicotine ro whatever addictions, keeping it like this is sustained effort. Regardless, you got four years and need to take it seriously since what you're doing now is simply giving up. Men and women have an expiry date, it's called 40. Yes, and men. For women, it's your role, being a mother and housewife. For me, it's my role, being a protector and provider with my shit together. Males, valuing age, fertility, looks, nurturing, character, like they seem to somehow forget the VAST importance social stature and wealth and success plays a role in other words your salty flat ass ain't aging like "fine wine" sir, if you are a bum at age forty you're in the same exact boat as a 40yo woman. Her eggs dried up; your ambition and successful outcomes dried up. Aint nobody becoming a decorated marine or a heart surgeon starting med school or bootcamp at age 40, it's done. You still shouldn't give up, but accept anything resembling a good life like you wanted, that's flushed down the drain after 40. For any woman coming here to soothe your ego? Please don't. Do the right thing like the men do, fall on your damn sword, tell these dumbass kids from behind closed bars, don't catch a body, don't try making those illegal stacks, just go back to business school, go get your law degree or nursing certificate, Don't Become Like Us.

[@ALLTake-v2p]

Those male friends don't want u. u UGGh1i

[@saly4762]

I have been single/celibate for 6 years now. I have more time to myself, more hobbies, travel a lot and overall healthier and happier ❤

[@BodhiCody-mh2ec]

Still all used up, still gross, past-due leftovers. Cope.

[@pulse833]

So you're a cat lady

[@BodhiCody-mh2ec]

@@pulse833 bingo Like tying to say a car with 400k miles has new tires. Who cares?

[@DinaStrange]

same girl, same. 6 years celibate and MUCH happier.

[@BodhiCody-mh2ec]

@@DinaStrange cope, unwanted, used up leftovers

[@jeffreyrusselljr7713]

Im a male over 40 and I would imagine women are choosing to be single for the same reason men are. Dating is awful now. Cant blame either men or women for it.

[@TimelessErsy]

Not for the same reasons. Dating puts us at risk for stalkers, r*pe etc. FEmicide is at am all time high and men are our leading causes of bodily harm due to male rage. Red pill and incels have removed the mask men wore before and we now see how much you all hate us. Why would we want to Dat men now??? Many can't regulate emotionally, can't be hygienic, clean and cook for the home and the list is endless!!!! SO NOT THE SAME REASONS WOMEN ARE NOT DATING!!!!

[@ellegmye]

Not the "both sides" argument. Dating is bad for women because it's a risk to our health and safety, men are "opting out" because they don't have the same control over and freedom to abuse women like they used to. Dating and marriage was all designed for mens benefit.

[@bushra2179]

The internet is revealing things about peoples intimate lives on a global scale. People are more open than ever about their relationships and experiences. Its all quite interesting really

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

As toxic as the internet can be, I’m so glad I live in a time where people can openly talk about this stuff. We are collectively waking up and no longer accepting subpar treatment. It’s beautiful to see imo.

[@tshaolin971]

But remember it's their personal journey not yours.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Yes, but I think it’s a terrible influence on us and does more harm than good. Being more aware is the only advantage, it does a number on our mental health, our perception of others, our sometimes silly expectations, our ideas, our mood…

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

I'm forever grateful for this. Especially for the younger women. I learned by 26 that it wasn't worthwhile but I never talked about it as I didn't want to influence other people's decisions. Glad it's all in the open now.

[@juribeiro8217]

This is happening all over the world. And we're not even talking about the violence we women are subjected to. Just this week, here in Brazil 🇧🇷 we had a woman who died after being beaten by her own husband, who is a bodybuilder. He hit her, took her to the hospital and said she had fallen down the stairs. After 8 days in a coma, and two broken ribs, she couldn't resist. Another was returning from the gym and a man threw acid in her face. Lately, the choice to have a relationship with men has been a matter of life and death for women.

[@anymjohnson1729]

I encourage WOMEN to LIVE their LIVES to the Fullest; they don't NEED A MAN, there are a lot of "men" Who Sleep Around and bring Diseases to the Good Women who are Home. NO WAY - LEAVE THEM ALONE & LIVE YOUR LIVES.

[@cellayth]

You are generalizing one incident to all men !?? There are plenty good men as there are plenty shitty women out there. Let’s be honest here

[@rob6760]

​@@anymjohnson1729 who do all these men sleep around with by the way??? Women? Also, your whole infrastructure is built, designed and maintained by men. If men stopped your world would collapse. If women left, other than sex and kids what would happen? Honest question

[@GalaxieMarauder]

Fiction everything you said is fiction

[@mindyourownbusinessgoogle9255]

What an interesting narrative. It's almost as if women do not commit violence against men? Almost! I mean, I have an old workfreind who had part of his face bitten off by his then fiancé, I know another guy who walks with a cane because his ex wife stabbed him in the leg. Now thats not to say I dont know women who suffered at the hands of men as well. Because I do. But have you ever thought, bad people do bad things and its stupid af to imply all men are bad. But you do you. Men, and I mean the good decent ones, are done with this sh(t. They are sick of it. And when they walk away, all you'll be left with is the bad ones. You're creating this. No one else.

[@ayyyejesterdazed]

Dating requires energy and optimism I no longer have at 33. I’ve given up 100%

[@Indigo_divine91]

This!

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Unrealistic expectations and feminism has destroy women. Keep picking the bad boy douche bag losers and the hot chads that pump and dump while simultaneously ignoring the nice average guy.

[@ZIbroweed]

Indeed. At a certain point in life I think most of us have pretty well settled into our ways of doing things and it doesn't make sense to keep wasting effort, eh? Hope it turns out well for all of us :)

[@Kareena1988]

Omg..felt that 10000%. I have zero energy or optimism.

[@akinazara]

Same 35 and done

[@kyrakytana]

I'm 38 and have stopped dating completely just over 5 years ago. I'm not against relationships, I've been in long-term relationships before, and think that a *good* partner can add a lot to your life. But somehow, even the men I was with, who I though were *good* men, emotionally mature and competent in household chores, all seemed to devolve into overgrown toddlers, who needed a woman to take care of them, soon after moving in together. I don't want that in my life. For me personally, the downsides have always been greater than the pros of having a partner. So I stopped seeking one, and frankly, I'm happier now than I ever was. This might change someday, but for now I'm good.

[@digitalzen6301]

Same I’m about to be 40 & I’ve has same experience as you life is just more simple without the stress of seeking a good partner

[@HaleyMary]

Same. I haven't been out on a date in 6 years. Not only dealt with men who seemed to need women to take care of them, but a lot of them don't seem to know how to lead like our fathers and grandfathers were able to do in their generation. A lot of us are heading into middle age and it feels like millennial men cause more stress than happiness.

[@sarahsmith3016]

So true

[@adilbajrai]

Damn yall so expired

[@HaleyMary]

@@adilbajrai Well, I can't speak for everyone, but as a child free woman, there is no expiration date for finding love.

[@gingerbordeaux9055]

I’m 51, never married, no kids. I stopped even trying to date several years ago. I don’t know that I consider myself a feminist, and I’m not “an angry woman”, I just got sick of the BS that comes along with the dating world. I’m happier on my own. I have a good group of lady friends, and even a couple guy friends. But a relationship, sex, marriage, kids… no thanks. I’m glad to see there are others who are embracing this lifestyle. It’s a good one IMHO.

[@4thllz]

You do t consider yourself a feminist? So you don't think women are people, who deserve the same rights as men? You don't like being able to have a bank account, own property, make that choice to be single? Yikes lady.

[@Lee73Lee]

Me too! 51, never married, no kids. I feel so free and always have compared to my mom friends, especially the divorced single moms who always get the short end of the stick. Used to envy friends who got married before 35. I don’t envy them anymore after seeing how their marriages turned out!

[@timeless33333]

@@Lee73Lee I agree with you. After seeing what these women chose to put up with... not only do I not envy then, I feel sorry for them.

[@purplelove3666]

I don't think a lot of women love doing domestic work,they were assigned to do domestic work as they were growing up ,compared to their men counterparts,so it has become part of something that they do ,because of their gender , but domestic work is basic life skills,

[@rkenzie5235]

Love this! I’m 32 and do not see ever see myself getting married or having children.

[@ThisIzSeanie]

I was always a believer in marriage and the concept of "forever" with a person. I even went so far as to remain a virgin until i got married at 32, because i was convinced that all of this had great value. Ive been married 6 years and have a toddler. I commuted 3+ hours daily for work, cooked all the meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry and paid the bills. And people around me were always saying that i was so "lucky" to be married and have this "ideal"(???) life and family. I filed for divorce 2 months ago.

[@exjehooberdubexpiobeezleeb6269]

Wow, you're me. I waited until I was 32 as well. Same story. Random strangers would compliment us on having the perfect looking family. They had no idea of the exhaustion and hell being married was. Good luck to you. The worst day of being a single mom is better than the best day of my marriage.

[@B.Harper7]

@ThisIzSeanie Yup, The amount of sludge in my veins that felt lifted when I left him......... it's like you can't explain the tunnel of hell to those who haven't been through it. Everyone is stuck on "I walked away from a white picket fence dream" when I'm trying to scream that I had to secretly dig my way out. The literal blood, sweat, and tears that are consistently glossed over as "part of wife-hood", it's bullshit. I'm so thankful that the "kids" are learning to be single and love themselves first.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

​@@B.Harper7 You did your child a great disservice.

[@Black.Spades]

@@michaelhoudecki3657 Yeah, no. Children don't like to live in shitty families where both parents more or less hate eachother.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@Black.Spades That's why you work on your marriage, and yourself. There's no reason two people shouldn't be able to get along for the sake of their child. Unless they're _very_ selfish.

[@Garglicious]

I'll turn 29 now & i stopped dating when i turned 25. I am really happy and at peace💗 It's not that I don't want to be in a relationship but i just don't want to compromise for the wrong things !

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

I stopped at 26... After two. It was a jarring realization.

[@roxy4325]

Hahahahaha! I TOO stopped at 26 after 2! And jarring doesn't come close to describing the hell I went through. But then I've also heard other women's stories and I think sheesh, my exes were saints. 😂 Life is ridiculous

[@theplasmacollider6431]

You're just coping. Go to church and find a good man. Stop going to the clubs or Tinder.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@@theplasmacollider6431 church is the worst place to find a man.

[@theplasmacollider6431]

Why? What's the best place to find a man if not church?

[@omowhanre]

I’m a stay at home mom with a loving hands-on husband who pays into my retirement. Please don’t do this with just any damn person PLEASE. These women have the right idea.

[@berrymckockiner5883]

Poor guy, he has to work and heIp around the house for a SAHM #savethisman

[@kindredkowski]

@@berrymckockiner5883poor guy, he has a loving wife who takes care of his home, health and children while he goes out and has a career. lol yeah poor soul we all feel soooo bad for him 🙄

[@jesmey4902]

​@@berrymckockiner5883 no, this is what real traditional men do! My German Grandpa was born in 1928, had to fight in WW2 against his will at 14 years old and luckily survived. He was the head accountant in a construction company and my Grandma was a SAHM. My Grandpa still helped in the house and he paid for everything. My Grandma never had to ask for money as Grandpa handed her enough each month to buy everything they needed including clothes and hair appointments. He setup a saving account only for her, and different ones for them together, and when he died in 2009, my Grandma never had to worry about money or how she should pay a bill. When she died in 2022 she left a large inheritance for my dad and his siblings.

[@berrymckockiner5883]

@@jesmey4902 no wonder men are avoiding marriage these days, we realised how our grandfather's were being used and Abus.......we are going our own way now or getting our passports

[@berrymckockiner5883]

@@jesmey4902 poor guy

[@lorrilewis2178]

I'm 65. The world you are living in as young women is like an alien planet compared to the world we lived in as young women. I hear young women talk about what it was like back in my day, and I don't recognize their descriptions as entirely true. Life has never been easy, but in comparison to today, it was a lot more simple back then. It was not difficult to date for us. Sure, you would still meet jerks because they've existed since the dawn of time. However, if social media is any indication, the ratio of healthy men to jerks has drastically tilted towards more jerks today. It's wild out there now. When we were young, we'd never seen a world where it was common for so many women to earn high salaries. There were single women back then supporting themselves and married or single, most of us had jobs or careers. However, now there are so many more ways for women to be not just self-supporting, but incredibly well off financially. Marriage was just what most people did. It was how you owned a house, had a family, and how financial security happened. Few women could earn enough on their own to buy a house, even though most women worked from the 1980s onward. I can't say most couples were unhappy, but some were of course. When I was in high school, we had ONE local news reporter where I grew up in Miami who was a woman. I had never been to a woman doctor. Let that sink in. Of course, as we headed into the 1980s and 1990s, those numbers grew and it became unremarkable. My primary doctor today is a woman who runs a medical practice that employs only women. The world has changed incrementally until it's an entirely different place.

[@timeless33333]

Thank you for your insight, it was very interesting to read!

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@timeless33333 You're welcome. I just thought of another illustration. When I was eight-years old in 1966, my teacher asked the whole class to think about what we wanted to do for jobs when we grew up. I thought that was a dumb question because the only two choices I knew of then was to be a nurse or a teacher. I didn't know about secretaries yet. Of course, most of our mothers were SAHMs who quit working at some point after we or our siblings were born. Right after the teacher asked us that question and I had those thoughts, another thought went zinging through my head. I had an instant epiphany about men/boys, which was --- "They don't think of us (women/girls) as people." I also intuitively knew that the men in our families thought of us as people, but that men collectively didn't think of women collectively as people - not in the same sense that men were considered people.

[@britneyt9253]

⁠@@lorrilewis2178 I tend to have this epiphany here and there too. Did you ever feel a sense of resentment towards men or even towards being a woman? How did you get through it? I’m asking because I feel like that’s a feeling I’ve been having recently towards men and towards myself for not being a man.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@britneyt9253 I would NEVER resent being a woman because we are higher than men in so many ways. What you feel about being a woman is the unwanted gift the patriarchy gave you. The work world was optimized for men. Men's contributions were placed above women's contributions, even though women's contributions were literally the foundation for the very existence of humanity. Women OFTEN do a better job at jobs men have held historically. And when women need time off for giving birth, they are made to feel unreasonable and "less than", which is CRAZY because they are not only holding down a job like a man, but taking on the extra burden of reproducing the next generation. Who's the MVP here? Not men. You feel devalued when you are in fact of great value. Men have their heads so far up their own asses they can't see the forest for the trees. Men love to talk about men risking their lives in wars and dangerous occupations while ignoring that throughout history, women risked their lives just by being pregnant and going through the birth experience without modern medicine. All modern medicine does, is to rescue all the women who would have died or come close. Even so, the US has the highest maternal mortality rate among developed countries. Oh, but women are made to believe men are the courageous ones.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for sharing this perspective 🫶🏻

[@HaleyMary]

I hate those dating advice videos telling women to act in a certain way to snag a guy. If we can't be ourselves around a guy, then what's the point of being with anyone? It would be like building a relationship on pretending to be someone you're not which will make the relationship fall apart anyway.

[@uncannytheos2454]

They do it to scam you women out of money. Its that, keep the divide between the genders to put more money in there pockets or tell you women something that will keep you all from getting the men you all want cuz those women are either already married or want the company of being single an miserable. Alot of us men caught on to these male dating coaches. We see through there bs lies. Just listen to married women that will give you advice that is the opposite of what these degenerate women want to keep listening to

[@gdaymates431]

What's interesting is that I'm a lesbian and have all of the same issues with dating.

[@tshaolin971]

Thank you for saying the truth this subject has nothing to do with men it's a human one, the abuse is highest in lesbian relationships and lowest in gay ones, you'll never hear a feminist about that fact.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Because the problem is women. Look at the divorce rates in lesbian couples is a staggering 72%, heterosexual couples is 50%, but gay couples is only 16%. This proves the problem is women not men. Women sleep with the hot guys with little to no commitment and wonder why men just want sex and no relationships 🙄

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

​@@tshaolin971 the highest DMV in lesbian relationships is literally false. The original source was whether lesbians ever faced dmv, and most of them answered yes while they were dating men and no it was not for the current partners. And yes lesbians dated men because of homophobia and confused about sexuality

[@TOhara-eb2lp]

I’ll bet all these pissed off heterosexual woman are not happy to hear that since they think men are the root cause of all of their problems.

[@lavellelee5734]

Big facts 😂​@@tshaolin971

[@ReturnToSenderz]

I think women are just done with being expected to finish raising their partner. A lot of guys expect a hot replacement for their mom to take care of them rather than an actual partner, and a lot of women have had it.

[@mr.magnetic8884]

Hey people can be single and still be happy. Relationships are a beautiful thing, but only if composed of two individuals who were happy before they were in a relattionship.

[@SacredIntuition]

I agree, be happy alone first and not for a short amount of time, be able to sustain your joy so that later if someone else is in the picture you know how to sustain it then too and it doesnt depend on the spouse to keep you happy

[@Ronydoo-yv2hs]

Until the years pass by. That's when you regret it.

[@SacredIntuition]

@@Ronydoo-yv2hs I don't think being in abusive relationship is better than solitude sorry

[@Ronydoo-yv2hs]

@@SacredIntuition You just suck and have turama as a weak person to think all relationships are abusive because of your experience. Go seek therapy. Stop crying.

[@Ronydoo-yv2hs]

@@SacredIntuition Stop crying from your turama. Not all relationships are abusive. You just suck.

[@ezzie_is]

I met my last partner on Tinder when I was 28. I’m now 33 and have been single for two years with absolutely no intention of re-entering the hellscape of online dating. I’m tired, have no time to play games, and the thought of doubling the amount of housework that comes with men just being men fills me with absolute dread. No thanks.

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

Not judging your decision, but I have to say - taking care of 2 isn't double the work of taking care of one, just like 3 isn't triple the work of 1. The more you add, the more you can group together, and the more you group together, the less each individual takes

[@michaelhoudecki3657]

@@unicorndelicious I bet he took great care of you and now that he needs you, you're like "nope!" lol.

[@ezzie_is]

@@michaelhoudecki3657 You’re missing the point. I have never dated a man that didn’t make my life more difficult. With two people in the house, I should be doing LESS housework than when I am living alone. Yet somehow I always end up with more. Because I’m cleaning up 100% of my shit and at least 70% of theirs. I’m tired of waking up at 5am to get ready for work, and the kitchen I scrubbed the night before being a mess, or having someone complain that they’re out of clean clothes when we have a perfectly good washing machine sitting right there. If I wanted to be a mother, I would have had children - I don’t want to parent a 30+ year old man.

[@dubbula]

Yea I find it easier to cook for two instead of one! And one person does one task and the other specialises with another. Plus they bring knowledge and experience one person may not have. We are humans after all and this is how we became successful in nature

[@ezzie_is]

@@dubbula that has not been my experience. All of my relationships have been me doing everything I did when single PLUS cleaning up the mess left behind by a man that can’t seem to understand the function of a dishwasher, or how to wipe down surfaces after shaving. Which is funny coz when we lived separately, those thing somehow always seem to get done at their place. I will never live with a partner ever again, and if that means I’ll end up single and alone, well at least my house will be clean.

[@andreavaughn854]

I'm 54, never married, and never had kids. I haven't been in a relationship since I was 38. It's all so exhausting. I hate "dating", and too many women are getting killed by psychos they met on dating apps. I have to know someone pretty well to get into anything with them. Also, there aren't many men my age that I find attractive. I'm doing just great vacationing solo, and watching my retirement fund grow, without having to worry about someone else's crap.

[@aliendroid1]

75% of murder victims are men. That is 3 in 4 murder victims are men.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

I broke a 13 year break from dating and regretted it.

[@pastelmoon9118]

men always say women age milk but truth is... women who are in bad, abusive, unhappy marriage age like milk CF women actually take care of themselves quite well.. women in happy, equal relationships are actually doing well too cause their husbands let them have their identity, give them space to take care of themselves many go to gym and have friends or they create their social circles mostly men in middle age will fell in love with alcohol and expect someone to take care of him, enable his addictions ofc there are men who hit the gym but those are rare those dudes have careers, high performing men in life so sometimes would like to say to these alcoholics: look yourself in a mirror and ask: would you date yourself? if not.. then maybe you need to do something about it!

[@aliendroid1]

@@pastelmoon9118 Women who sleep around building body count age like milk left outside on a summer's day.

[@TheDevilEdo]

To be fair I don't think anyone would like to date you or find you attractive either, especially at that age.

[@jessicaclarke5414]

Hi Caitlin, loooong time watcher here - just wanted to say I'm really enjoying your new style of videos. Came for the Chanel, stayed for the conversations. Your topics are great and i love listening to your research and insights. Well done x

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

That means so much Thankyou 🥹🫶🏻

[@egl3369]

I've been in a few long term relationships, and honestly men are so disappointing. Unfortunately you need 2 incomes per household to survive these days. I always end up being their mother and doing all household tasks. I have tried asking for help, but its always "I'm tired", "I don't feel like doing it", "I'll do it later" (and they never do it), or they do a half ass job and you have to re-do it anyway. And you also have to deal with their family. Ugh. It's nice to have the companionship, but some days I'd rather have a dog. As for having kids, I would rather be a father than a mother. You can walk away with no consequences, and you get praised for doing the bare minimum. Meanwhile mothers do everything and are criticized for their every decision.

[@timeless33333]

I agree with everything you said. I saw and keep seeing the same patterns in relationships. Men are held to such a low standard, it's incredible... They are now unhappy and screaming at women to get into relationships because they cannot do anything on their own. They see that women are better off without them and they hate that.

[@kindredkowski]

You really don’t need 2 incomes though to live a good life. Our standard of living has gotten so high these days and I hate that no one ever brings that up. Now a days parents think that it’s not only acceptable but mandatory to give young children a smart phone, tablet, smart watches, expensive clothes and shoes each having to have their own room, mom & dad having separate vehicles or even multiple vehicles when in reality you don’t need any of those extra things to have a happy/healthy childhood or marriage. People are just hella boujie now no thanks to social media and overall narcism these days I’m not gonna deny the economy and inflation are high these days but even then I have friends who are raising kids on one income and it works. They just budget well and don’t spend money on extra things they don’t need.

[@egl3369]

@@kindredkowski While I agree that our standard of living is higher, the data shows wages aren't keeping up with the cost of living. I am very frugal and have noticed a huge jump in prices since the pandemic.

[@ChangeBeginsWithYou1]

I find it funny that every comment alludes to the fact that women are fantastic in 2024. Somehow men are the only one with issues even tho mental illness is up exponentially in women these days. Most women today can’t cook or clean or nurture well, so I am not sure where the vast majority of women are adding value to relationships. Also, most women are not making enough money to ever retire comfortably by themselves or have comfortable lives. So many things not being stated in these conversations

[@HotPinkGirlTalk]

If you need two incomes he needs to get a second job.

[@ElizabethNonsuch]

In your final comments about how 'back in the day' people married young and grew together - you're forgetting that in my parents era (born in the 40s & 50s and earlier like my grandparents/ww2 generation) men still didn't grow in the way we want them to now - they didn't do any cooking or housework, they didn't iron their own clothes and they just went to work and came home to dinner on the table, they did the gardening because that's the 'man's job'. They couldn't cry because their own fathers taught them that 'real men don't cry' and were incredibly emotionally stunted. It wasn't as rose-tinted as you make it out to be. They weren't growing together - the women were still the caregivers and the men were mothered by their wives.

[@purplelove3666]

Thank you for saying this,these men never grew , there's a reason why they want to go back to those times and women don't, there's a reason why the feminism movement began, if they were so great ,the feminism movement wouldn't t have been a thing in my opinion

[@themore-you-know]

Pretty selective understanding of history, you have there. Men were also the ones slaughtered by the millions. My grand-father died at war, so did some other male family members. I'm also French Canadian (Quebecois): our history is littered with the occasional massacre when our men fail at their duties. By contrast, women have almost been useless at defending a nation. Do you want to go fight a random tribe of Iroquois warriors raiding and beheading you and your babies? Women, when in charge, are not only partially useless, but downright dangerous. Now leading culture, women and feminists have arranged the invasion of western countries by migrants, whilst simultaneously collapsing birthrates and culture to a point that will lead to infrastructural decay. Do you want to go back to a lack of sewers, safe water, power grids, satellites, etc.? Because that is a very real possibility: my own field (water infrastructure) is understaffed by 40%. There is no incentive to work in damp concrete buildings whilst feminists sleep around and claim to be oppressed whilst men are (literally) getting sh*t on by operating the sewage system. Infrastructures only survive when families are stable, and infrastructure experts are incentivized to establish a good life around said infrastructures. When birthrate collapses, then there are too many jobs to be done for the low amount of workers. Do you want equality? Go down a sewer, and lay some bricks while breathing in caustic soda. 'cuz you are "technically stunted".

[@Murph_gaming]

@@purplelove3666 I think the feminist movement of the 60s and 70s has produced a mix bag of results. Yes it's great that women can have their own home, career, open up lines of credit but when it comes to dating and marriage. Hookup culture and women bragging about high numbers of dudes they've slept with is a huge turnoff for any decent man that seeks a partner. Lots of sexual partners means it will be harder to bond if a woman does find someone who wants something long term and not just a one night stand.

[@theplasmacollider6431]

You want your man to cry? So when he does, you'll break up with him because he's too effeminate.

[@guts2787]

​@@purplelove3666femenism was spearheaded by capitalism. Why tax and exploit one, when you can profit off both.

[@timeless33333]

There are very few happy marriages in our grandparents' generation. Go talk to old people and you'll see how much sh&t women had to put up with from those men that they couldn't divorce. The happiest older people I've met were childless women who were either never married or were divorced or widowed. Those are literally the happiest people I've ever met and because of my job I've traveled extensively and met a LOT of people. Being realistic about life is always a great thing. You can then find ways to make yourself happy in other ways rather than chase the elusive "good man" for 30 odd years.

[@AutumnRose1397]

Agree. I have heard many people from my grandparents generation say "oh we only dated for a few months in early 20's before getting married and have now been happily married 50+ years. Idk why its so hard for the younger generations to do the same." I bet if we were able to look closely at a lot of these marriages, it would not be very healthy. Women could have jobs but most didn't and divorce was very looked down upon. Also, most of the times these comments were coming from men. I didn't get to hear the women's side but I bet their perspectives would be quite different.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I agree I think being realistic and not tying your happiness to one specific future or dream and learning to be flexible and find happiness in life even if it doesn’t turn out or isn’t going how you hoped

[@aliendroid1]

All the people from that generation that I know were all happy men and women, they made better decisions than you but there are still people similar to that generation, my wife is from Colombia, she's kind of like the grandmas but as a young woman. I remember when I was dating her we were in Bogota, we bought groceries and she just started cooking it for me and made me sit at the table and watch. Was an alien experience, then I tried it, it was so good I put a ring on that finger.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Yes. And the women lived way way longer after bring widowed early. My grandma widowed in her 30s is pushing 95, still strong, and mentally sound. Mom remembers her being moody, sad and angry as a child (mom is the eldest).

[@theplasmacollider6431]

Go talk to men and see how much sh&t men had to put up with as well. It's not just men that are bad.

[@thabbyr]

I am really glad I stumbled upon this video! I see this happening so sharply with my circle of friends, where these beautiful, successful women just don't want to date anymore because they're thinking exactly like that: what is this person will add to my life? Or, "I am better off with my friends". I find myself on the same boat, honestly. I love my indepence. I agree with the commenter who said that for so long women have been made to fear being alone (or the necessity of having a man to just exist in society), and men in general could count on their desperation. Well, not anymore. I think now that we prefer being alone instead of enduring crappy men, the scales haven't balanced yet.

[@rayzee0285]

Yes!! Luv this comment

[@SacredIntuition]

I'm so happy for the women today who are standing in their power

[@joeyd879]

Yet I guarantee you're all sleeping with someone 😂

[@TheFeralFarmgirl]

I guess I am just tired of men treating me like a thing, and not a person in a relationship. Everything feels so transactional. It feels so empty and pointless. I would love to find someone someday, but right now, I am too busy, and there are very few people I would be compatible with anyway.

[@watamutha]

I'm not saying this is you, but a single mom friend of mine said something similar. Then I asked her what she wanted from a man and she said "someone who gives and expects nothing in return." And I said "oh so you want a slave."

[@TheFeralFarmgirl]

@@watamutha LOL It wasn't me, because I have no children. But yes, there are several men out there who are very low effort. Edit: Oh this was a female? I guess it goes both ways. Narcissism is very prevalent in the world today.

[@karenmassey8354]

@@watamuthaSo your friend was saying the same thing as the op, that she doesn’t want a transactional relationship. You saying “she wants a slave” highlights the fact that you don’t understand the natural balance of relationships. I’m guessing you were raised in a single-parent household, yes?

[@watamutha]

@@karenmassey8354 No I wasnt. At its heart all relationships are transactional, you just dont want it to feel that way which is fine, but dont expect things just to flow one way. The best relationships are ones in which it doesnt feel transactional even though it is.

[@karenmassey8354]

@@watamutha What a substandard and low-level way to view relationships.

[@Mistersgoodgirl]

I’ve been married for 21 years and I can’t imagine dating now. From my outside perspective, men seem to be more immature today. They aren’t expected to be adults into their 30s. Their 20s are the new teen years.

[@akinazara]

I am not interested in dating men anymore and rather work and build my own empire

[@andreasandor8165]

I'm a 41 years old Hungarian woman who moved to London when I was 21 met my ex husband in London who is South African. We both are from a patriarchal society.We were married for 15 years knew each other for 18 years. Both born in the 80s. Our marriage failed because the modern world doesn't support women who are married and work at the same time. The modern world doesn't support marriage these days also men and women are very confused about the roles what is expected of them. We got divorced because he swapped me for a 10 yrs younger version of myself. I was only 35 when I went through divorce and thought I never had any problems meeting men I will be alright finding a new husband. How wrong I was. Its been 6 years now being single went on so many dates, put myself out there and worked on myself mentally and physically to heal myself and I am astonished by the single men of my age. The abuse, the rudeness not to mention the childlike state of the men these days. Wow. So I rather be single then settle for such men. It is very sad to experience this as a woman who always wanted a marriage and children. Atleast I have my lovely memories of when I was dating and use to recive respect, flowers and commitment. Now men of my age calling me old. That was the last drop so now sadly I have given up on dating. I live in London still but I find this environment very unhealthy mentally, and not a supportive environment for marriage.

[@Chelseabee55]

I think there’s a number of things at play here: 1. ‘Boy moms’ are babying their boys well in to adulthood so they’re just grown children and not grown men and they’re nightmare in-laws. 2. The apps. There’s this illusion of choice you mentioned. My last relationship (4 years, thought we would end up together) ended because he was in tinder basically window shopping to see if there’s anyone better than me. I made the choice for him and left 3. We have already raised too many men who have left us or mistreated us. I really put a lot of work in to that relationship and he used me to learn how not to treat a woman so after I got replaced he was perfect for someone else. It’s exhausting. I’m glad that relationship ended and my fiancée is really everything I wanted but STILL I had to put that work in, but this time I knew it was worth it

[@Chloe__________xx]

This 🙌🏼 the boy mum trend is going to raise a bunch of entitled men ruining everything for future women

[@winning3329]

My little brother was the favorite because he was male by both my parents. He didn't have to do chores or pay rent or anything cause he was the little king. This is how alot of modern males are raised and when they get a woman they look down on them.

[@patrickmcfly3264]

Yeah he deserved better than you, and you deserved less, which you will not accept that's why you won't find you person. It's really dumb to give man an ultimatum when they have choices, the only way you can get your everything fiancee is you up your offer to give him a better deal that a slightly prettier or slightly younger women would not give, but hey you modern women keep being self-focus, loud mouth, negative, and demanding, see where it gets you. My older sister had a big mental breakdown at 29 thinking she would never find someone to proposed to her, cried to mom, then she told her, why don't I ever see you do the things I do for your dad, she doesn't massage him, doesn't reward him with enthusiasm and gratefulness when he give reassurances (like at every resolution of jealousy), she doesn't show extra appreciation for any simpy behavior (undeserved benefit to the women), she has never spoilt any of her ex-bf, she has never given him a dozen gifts like how men would give to women, etc, etc. You girls have zero game.

[@ElenasDad]

You're right all the men are bad and the women play no part in why the current dating scene is terrible.

[@Chelseabee55]

@@ElenasDad I don’t date women so I can’t comment on what women are doing wrong. If you have any thoughts you think would add to the conversation, please do

[@Alexandra-MourningStar13]

Im single. For me its not not men "dont add any value to my life" I've had some pretty decent boyfriends. The problem is that most men are an emotional burden to get intimately involved with. Why are men still using weaponized incompetence as adults. I had to develop emotional intelligence in middle school! I learned to process heavy feelings and deep dives of self reflection. Purity culture makes young women take an unfair amount of responsibility while the "boys will be boys" So now in adulthood, i am more wise and emotionally aware than most men, and i dont wanna carry their extra baggage. They hold me back in life. Emotional intelligence ties into relationships- ties into intimacy- ties into sexuality. That's why women keep telling men to work on their emotional IQ - it makes or breaks a relationship I love hearing women come out about being single and happy 💜

[@Jo-bo1mp]

Spot on thank you for sharing!

[@berrymckockiner5883]

Ok but when are wmn going to work on what we desire? Oh never was it? Ok cool, so we won't be working on our EQ. Wake me up when y'all decide to work on what we want and ask for.

[@Enriquez2222]

@@berrymckockiner5883all yall talk about is what you want. Everything in the relationship is built to benefit you, sex benefits you…. This is the intelligence level we’re working with here. Do you not understand that women weee literally raised with you in mind? That wasn’t enough, they built entire religions around what you desire….. catch up buddy, you’ve never made women happy and we no longer care what you want since you enjoy being self centred

[@Enriquez2222]

@@berrymckockiner5883 all yall talk about is what you want. Everything in the relationship is built to benefit you, sex benefits you…. This is the intelligence level we’re working with here. Do you not understand that women weee literally raised with you in mind? That wasn’t enough, they built entire religions around what you desire….. catch up buddy, you’ve never made women happy and we no longer care what you want since you enjoy being self centred

[@Black.Spades]

@@berrymckockiner5883 which is?

[@defiantlypinki1107]

My reasons for decentering men is that men have been using women for what benefits them (eg childbearing, cooking, cleaning, social status, sex, nurse, personal assistant, therapist.etc) while women have been stuck in a self-sacrificial role in the name of “love”, despite relationships financially being 50/50 nowadays. Women should put themselves first just like men are taught to. Nowadays the best way to do that is to stay single and focus on ourselves.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Swap the genders and this still makes sense, maybe even more. Ask yourself, do you want a man just so he can perform male duties for you, or do you actually want a human, a man, as the person he is? I’ve seen feminists even criticize this decentering men idea because they realized they just saw men as utility, they didn’t actually care about them as a person. They’re upset they couldn’t get what they wanted from them and realized it’s faulty thinking and unfair.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Swap the genders and this still makes sense, maybe even more. A lot of feminists even have come to criticize the whole de-centering men idea because they realize they just saw men as utility. They realized they just wanted a man to perform male duties for them, they didn’t actually want or care about the man himself as a human. It’s a very valid thing to consider, you (we) need to recognize what we’re actually doing and what we actually want.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Swap the sexes and this still makes sense, maybe even more. A lot of women have come to criticize the whole decentering idea because they realize they just saw men as utility. They realized they just wanted a man to perform male duties for them, they didn’t actually want or care about him as a human. It’s a very valid thing to consider, you (we) need to recognize what we’re actually doing and what we actually want.

[@TimelessErsy]

​@@Ryan-cb1ei We want to be left alone. Isn't it clear yet?????

[@courtneymiller2768]

This is everything I’ve been thinking and noticing. So many women are out here bettering themselves and the bar has been so low for men that it’s been “an honor” to just be chosen for marriage. I feel like things are changing and people aren’t wanting to settle. There’s more frogs to wade through but I’m still hopeful (as a single 30yo)

[@shontehope4360]

Omg agreed

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🫶🏻

[@tshaolin971]

Instead of projecting bad things onto others believing you are better than most, try to get rid of ugly thoughts picked up from social media.

[@elenabob4953]

​@@tshaolin971👏 You can say that again.

[@aliendroid1]

Wait you saying men are getting worse in quality? it's true. Once upon a time a certain medical school graduated 200 men each year, now they graduate 50 married men and 150 single women and eventually it'll be 200 single women graduating from that school per year. Eventually all high level jobs, CEOs etc will be just women, so where is Mr Big going to come from? Spawned? lol. You bettering yourselves women each are the reason another woman cannot have a successful husband. Feminist movement is why you need those cats. You are 30, the men you are looking at are the left overs, the losers, the guys whose applications to medical school, law school, or applications for that CEO position was rejected so that a single women can take his place. Maybe y'all boss babes need to become the husbands for some poor single women who can't find a good man.

[@Kris-zy7is]

I haven’t been on a date & became celibate when I became a single mom 11 yrs ago when I was 27. I am super attracted to men who are covered in tattoos, smokes, breath permanently smelling of whiskey, are extremely argumentative & slight criminal record. I don’t want my child to think this kind of behavior is acceptable so I removed myself from dating. Plus, I feel I already met the love of my life & since he’s gone it feels counterintuitive to date

[@dearbrave4183]

Wow your type is interesting 😂😂 but I love your self awareness and ability to reason even more ❤ Your child is definitely going to thank you for that!

[@berrymckockiner5883]

​@@dearbrave4183a majority of wmn want the badboi

[@HotPinkGirlTalk]

This is so amazing. I really feel single moms should not date. I gave it one more go after my daughter’s dad and that engagement failed (his fault) and I was not going to drag my child through an endless string of men in and out of her life. This is so admirable especially since you realize that your type is not healthy. Just enjoy being in your mommyhood season and date after your child is grown.

[@Murph_gaming]

I think there in lies part of the problem. The type of man a lot of women are attracted to. The kind,decent man who works hard and would bring stability long term just doesn't cut it for a lot of women. How many good dudes are left because the woman went back to a toxic ex or at least someone that reminds her of him?

[@Telltalesign]

😂 love that you admitted it babe. 😆😆 more power to you and your family. 💗💗

[@CZsWorld]

This video is absolutely wild from a male perspective. It feels like the general consensus out there is basically the inverse of everything you said. I feel like all I ever hear about is that: - Guys are the ones opting out. - That all the dating advice content tends to be geared for guys. - That guys are frustrated with women playing games - That guys are the ones putting all this work into themselves and disappointed with women who can't even communicate well. - That the problem is most women are low-quality / don't meet the bar - That many women are "gold-diggers" and the benefit to marrying as a guy is increasingly unclear. I'm not trying to invalidate any of your talking points, it's just wild to me to hear your perspective. It makes me think that what I hear online, and what you've been hearing online must be a result of social platforms knowing our demographic info and serving us each content that is likely to get the most reaction, which mean different things for women than it does for males. Good reminder for me to not believe everything on the internet!

[@ingeclaeys3761]

I've been saying this for a long time. Both sides have the same experience with the other sex. The biggest problem is both sides are often unaware of the experience the other side has. There will always be good men getting involved with superficial women and kind women getting involved with low-effort men. I think a lot is caused by social media, being "connected" without actually being connected. The red pill community, easy access to porn or platforms that are not far from it. People posting their "perfect" relationships online, it will cause an unrealistic view on things. Also society has changed a lot. Some for the better, other for the worst. I think we're also struggling to keep up with this rapid changing world....

[@BodhiCody-mh2ec]

Women would never steal, lie and gaslight!! (lmao) Look at her nose.; Now you know why "She's" pushing this nonsense. OY VEY.

[@BodhiCody-mh2ec]

@@ingeclaeys3761 "I've been saying this for a long time. " You've been simping for a long time then, Boomer. Time to stop.

[@ingeclaeys3761]

@@BodhiCody-mh2ec Im not a boomer. Also, what?

[@christinadelaflor1177]

@@BodhiCody-mh2ecexplain why you think he’s simping. This word is being thrown out like crazy. “Uhh! Simp!” “You’re simping” Simp here simp there simp everywhere. And now I’m getting this impression that people who use this word has nothing logical or sense to say or simply put… airheads! Thus they just use the word simp. Ugh! It’s so annoying.

[@adrianna.adrianna]

I’m 36, not planning to ever have kids, being in a 4 year long relationship, currently at the stage of wondering whether I actually do need this relationship and what is the added value. I’ve never wanted any money from my partner, I earn more than enough to be financially independent and when I need an advice or help I don’t find man supporting enough, I’d rather ask a female friend. And then you hear your partner complaining we don’t have sex as often as he would prefer. Women are always giving way more than receiving. And yes relationship shouldn’t be transactional but really where is the true added value other than the comfort of being loved. And that’s only when the guy doesn’t cheat and actually put some effort to keep the relationship straight.

[@samco63]

I feel like I wrote this comment. Right down to the age, but I’ve been with my partner for 18 months and my god it’s been a wild ride. I’ve just stopped sticking up for myself or asking for basic respect (basically don’t lie (he has), or disappear overnight on benders with NO communication (he has a couple of times)) and only now the relationship seems better - because I no longer have a voice, and he’s (mostly) nice to me and pays for things… seems a bit more respectful with communication and not going out on benders again (yet), but it’s only a matter of time! It’s only a matter of time until I disappoint him with not being happy and cheerful enough, available enough, having sec wrong, or having the wrong guy come up to me and talk to me, until he disappears overnight again to punish me… So while it seems nice on the surface with better comms, paying for things, and compliments. It’s only because I traded in my entire voice. And like you, he’s rarely ever actually able to support me emotionally in any real way… He Doesn’t want to work on building trust, even though he works away and these jobs are renowned for men leading double lives… I just have to sit there and swallow all my feelings… and that’s the only way this thing works So is it worth it? I own my own place (which he wants me to sell), I have my own car (which he’s tried to encourage me to sell), and I have a career (which he’s tried to get me to give up) … fck that. No way would I give those things up when women before me didn’t have so much opportunity. And I’ll be said when we split, but at least I don’t have to worry about the next time he disappears or if he’s lying about where he really is again. Or if he will get jealous of another man looking at or talking to me, and punish me by going on a bender (and maybe cheating, who knows) Anyway, sorry for the long rant! Even the “good” relationships just seem like so much work

[@adrianna.adrianna]

@@samco63I used to date a guy who would not text me back for two days and felt that’s totally fine or even healthy (LOL). And your comment reminded me of him. Looking back I wish I told him to FO way sooner. Reading your long but very honest and valuable comment I can see quite a few red flags. I feel like there’s more than the guy just being useless, not understanding or not supportive enough. I know you and your relationship only from this comment though. My advice would be to read your comment like it was somebody else’s comment and think what your thoughts and advice would be, to see your relationship without emotions. 🤗

[@moviefan19S]

​@@samco63please don't give up the things you've worked so heard to get : House, car, job! If anything goes wrong, where will you go? What will he do? These are your main needs to keep your autonomy, no wonder he's so Insecure, poor him 😂

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

​@1trompet146 it sounds like your health is at risk too. He is attacking you via your nervous system. It's best to leave this one, hun. I wish you all the best whichever way you opt to go.

[@WalkingandTalkingAussieGirl]

hell I never clicked so fast on a video! lets here it for the single ladies! life is great single, so good I may never go back!

[@aubsessed82]

I divorced in 2019 and got back out in the dating world for awhile only to be horrified at the way men act on dating sites. I gave up a few years ago and have never been more at peace

[@heidijay5902]

I’m 44 & have been single for years. I never wanted children & I have absolutely zero regrets about not having them. I’d rather be single than be with someone who doesn’t add value to my life (& vice versa), I have rejected a lot of men because they just didn’t have the capacity to do that (emotional immaturity was the usual issue). I’m more than open to a relationship, in fact I always wanted to be married, but I’m not actively seeking out anyone, if the right person comes along then great, if he doesn’t, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Having said that I have an inner knowing that I will find the right person for me, until then, you definitely won’t find me on any dating apps.

[@nataliaya1238]

just turned 40 and you described exactly me! Cheers, our happiness is here and now!😊

[@artbygilik]

I just turned 44 and i have stayed single and celibate for the past 7 years so far. During those years I tried investing in a couple of people and found myself more depressed, stressed and traumatised so now I no longer bother. I also never wanted kids so no regret for being child free. I’m so much more relaxed now without the expectation for romantic relationship, it used to really make me upset watching everyone I know get coupled and married and thinking why not me

[@prettyinblackWN]

People say the "if the right person comes along" thing, and I always think, how am I going to know they're the right person? I'm not dating, not exchanging contact info, not spending any time alone with them. I guess they'll have to somehow prove they're the "right person" publicly while I'm trying to do something else like grocery shop or work 😂🤷🏾‍♀️

[@heidijay5902]

@@prettyinblackWN Most people I know met their significant other through mutual friends, or while engaging in volunteer activities, or at social or charity events, or while participating in some kind of sporting or recreational activity of interest. My best friend met her husband at work, my best friend’s brother met his wife when he went to fix her gate (she didn’t even have to leave her house), I met my ex because I worked with his mother & both he & I owned horses (we started out as friends), my old neighbours met because he was the local vet & she had horses, their daughter met her husband because he played football on the same team as her brother, I used to work with a couple who lived next door to each other & met that way. There are a lot of ways to meet & make friends with other humans, maybe it’s just where I live, but even the local gym is a great place to meet people & make friends. Don’t limit yourself.

[@DinaStrange]

same. most of men add nothing to my life but expect free sex, lol. and they look bad too.

[@raquelbopp6669]

I’m 44 divorced have a 12 yo. I don’t feel right dating while I have my kiddo. Won’t kill me to stay single until he’s older. Due to that relationships takes a lot of work

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

You're doing what's best for your child. This is the reason most men don't take custody of their children. They want to have more free time to date. If the father is a responsible person, I would always advice women go for joint custody. That makes sure you have a break too. All the best momma.

[@ZIbroweed]

probably wise

[@TheDevilEdo]

Very wise. No man wants a single mother anyway.

[@june29378]

​@@TheDevilEdo that's not true bit your vitriol all over this video say a lot about you.

[@gintongaparador999]

I hate men who say things like "y'all are single because nobody want you anymore... cause you're older, spoiled meat, expired, leftovers". Hearing things like that makes me want to gatekeep my youth and never give myself to any man.

[@moustik31]

It makes me sad, how women are afraid to be labelled "angry" and/or "feminist". Being angry as a response to being badly treated is a very human normal response. Anger is valid! As for feminism, it's also very valid to be aligned with the political mouvement, that specifically stands for our rights to bodily autonomy and equal treatments.

[@guts2787]

Equal treatment and rights in Korea also means women will be obligated by law to 2 years of serving in the military and going to frontlines an shock troopers in case Best Korea does the funny.

[@moustik31]

@@guts2787 You guys always have the same (stupid) arguments, it's like you are collectively sharing 2 braincells. 🙄

[@guts2787]

@@moustik31 yep, one cell is "common sense" and other is "consistency".

[@Telltalesign]

Maybe because lots of angry feminists goes on protests shouting in the streets like batshit crazy so normal women do not want that word being associated with them. Being constantly angry at men who probably don’t know you at all because you’re a feminist isn’t something to be proud either. Be angry at specific people (men or women) who hurt you, but don’t lump some random Steven with the shitty men you chose to be with in one basket. You’re part of the problem if you like to be labeled that way. Don’t promote it if you know firsthand that not all woman feel the way you do or been in relationship with a shitty men like you have. It’s a you problem, lady.

[@Nat929]

51 and happy being single. No manipulation, B.S., drama and no lies.

[@lauraf6510]

I feel you. After my last relationship I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted up from me.

[@Nat929]

@@lauraf6510 I totally understand

[@Nat929]

@@BodhiCody-mh2ec and happy as hell, I don't need dick to live 🤣🤣🤣

[@akinazara]

​@@BodhiCody-mh2echey bud we have toys in just saying 35 and stopped dating 15 years ago

[@dajewel1982]

I am 42. I had a horrible experience dating right at the beginning of the pandemic. I am by no means sensitive. I am a well adjusted human being. That experience (it showed me how awful a human being can be towards one another ) , subsequent healing and enjoying my own time has made me purposefully avoid dating for the immediate and foreseeable future. I am in peace , I live a soft life. I have no problem attracting the male gaze. However , if you decrease my peace in any way , then I don’t want It. It would be great to start a family later. Right now? Am really good

[@jenrcreed]

I think women should be able to talk about their feminine experience without it be called "raging' or "angry'.

[@Ajb259]

I’m in my 40s and I opted out of dating about 10 years ago to focus on my career. I’ve honestly never been happier.

[@BD-qc8zz]

I think its good to learn to be happy on our own than to look for someone to make us happy. I've never been in a serious relationship but definitely have dated around mostly because I wasn't happy with myself and my life and I kinda knew quickly no man was going to make me happy and my life better so I opted out of it completely and have since focused on my career and my personal growth and have never been so content with life since I "stopped looking" life is full of ironies while most of my friends have had plenty of broken marriages and relationships I saw first hand the damage it does physically and mentally sometimes I wonder what id be like to be a married woman with a child when I see mothers strolling around with her child then I realize do I really want to burden myself with housekeeping, child rearing and another man child on top of my career and aspirations I doubt they'd bring much happiness probably the exact opposite idk until I meet well lets be realistic if I ever meet a man who can care for themselves and is willing to help out with household chores and child rearing I doubt I'll ever get married or have a child I'm not settling like my mother did because she was never happy. And I'm sure I'll coast around life just fine even if I don't reach those milestones because I already am full without them and life is not a fucking race !

[@susannehuber3996]

❤❤❤❤that’s amazing 😻 I should have done that as well in my early 30s.

[@paulmcallister8948]

Enjoy the cats! 🫣

[@elenabob4953]

I did the same and I regret it terribly because even if I have a great career I really miss not having my own children and I will never exploit other woman by buying a surrogacy.

[@Ajb259]

@@elenabob4953 luckily I've always known I didn't want kinds so this isn't an issue for me.

[@lillierose5304]

I'm 34 and choosing to be happily single at the moment. I'm a mum to a teenager though so that is very fulfilling. I don't know if I'll want a partner again. But for now, I'd like to focus on my physical and mental health and my son. I also don't want to be obligated to have unprotected sex which is expected in an "exclusive" relationship. It's not worth the risk of an STI if they're secretly cheating or BV or UTI or HPV. It feels so cleansing and purifying to be abstaining from sex.

[@snadianna]

I'm 35, single, had 2 dates with same guy about 10-15 years ago. That's all my "dating history". I registered on 2 dating sites in my lifetime and since doing that never been on them again. Maybe, I'm not attractive from males prespective. Maybe, it's because I never really cared about finding one. Maybe, both or something else. I don't care. It never bothered me and I never understood the point or urge of other girls/woman to find a boy/man. I view dating as labour intensive work and I admire the amount of energy in girls/women who dates/dated. I'm not aromantic or asexual I just don't have energy and motivation to date. If by some accident I find a man I like, maybe, I'm going to try it, but it's very unlikely considering my lifestyle.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Men are doing the same thing, just completely walking away from dating and relationships. It’s really sad how bad the gender divide is and the lack of understanding between each other. I think this has been caused largely by social media algorithms which have gotten too refined over the past ten or so years, and how much time people spend online. Algorithms don’t just control what entertainment we watch online anymore, for many people the algorithm influences their entire identity. It’s not a joke. Everything from ideas, beliefs, politics, the communities we’re in and even shapes some people’s identities whether they’re realize it or not.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

I agree. The algorithms do suggest to creators what type of content gains traction, because they largely want to ensure more people view ads.

[@ZIbroweed]

Social media certainly does drive polarization faster in pretty much every facet. That being said, the seeds of the gender divide have been around a lot longer than social media.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

@@ZIbroweed Possibly, but I can’t think of a more toxic and derisive driving factor than social media. Maybe a lot of the divide is simply men and women just not needing each other anymore. We live in a very individualistic society on top of that, at least in America. But you have to really want to be with someone and benefit them (and vice versa) by being in each other’s lives. Otherwise we’re all just competing with each other’s peace and unless someone adds value to your life there’s no point.

[@ZIbroweed]

@@Ryan-cb1ei Personally I don't think it really works unless people take seriously the idea that "two become one" in a family. It's not even really about benefiting someone else. It's about loving and serving your family. The centrality of family has been eroding for a while, but yeah. Social media definitely drives the polarized and extreme rhetoric, because shock content attracts more views and engagement.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

@@ZIbroweed I understand that too but I think that’s more of an afterthought and becomes more prominent when you want to start a family. You really need to benefit and love each other first before we can start to entertain that level of selflessness I think. One of best thing parents can do for their kids is loving each other in my opinion.

[@teralecole316]

I’m in my 30’s, was married for a quick second and now oddly enough I’m happily single(thank God). Prior to marriage, I had fantasized the idea of marriage or pairing up. I never factored in how dangerous men were. And I’m not talking violent danger only but their whole existence is dangerous. From gaslighting to controlling. Male nature is selfish and abusive. I don’t want to waste my beauty and youth shifting through who the decent ones are. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze, and I’ve found fulfillment in pouring into me. I’m the architect of my life and I don’t want to walk on eggshells when it comes to dealing with men. I’ve opted out.

[@Dragonfly_magictarot]

I felt that ❤

[@Kareena1988]

Good comment

[@kitty1256x]

100% !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@lareinadecorazones6563]

The thing is that there is a war of the sexes and a lot of resentment between us. Societys downfall and lack of morals, as well as "sex liberation" have produced a lot of men a women that are not ready for marriage and to give their lived to the other. Each one of us have to work to be a better partner and the person we would like to be with. Also, you havent mentioned love in the entire video, I believe, and love is wanting the best for the other person, even if we have so sacrifice ourselves (obviusly doesnt mean abuse or selfdeprecation). We got this, thw world is full of amazing men and women, we just need to open our eyes ❤️

[@tshaolin971]

Thank you this is the real good message !

[@Kamishikyo]

My goodness, finally someone speaking the truth. The comment section of this video is literally the same as going to any red pill videos. Red pill men blame women and overgeneralize while women in these type of video do the same to men. It's literally the same thing. If women were to see red pill arguments they would say not all women are like this and how unfair it is to blame all women. Meanwhile the guys would do the same here.

[@HotPinkGirlTalk]

@@Kamishikyo way different than red pill we are opting out and making our lives better for the most part despite of not finding a man. Red pill is not improving themselves they justify being average to below and want to lower the standard and feel like we should meet them where they are at. They would be better off taking a break from dating (like us) and improving their lives instead of trying to bring us down to their level in the name of “love”.

[@ZIbroweed]

Yup yup. This is a much needed message in both men's content and feminist content for the few who can actually hear it. So much of modern relationship conversation is transactional and focuses on what can be taken away from the relationship instead of on how to invest in it.

[@haute03]

The first couple of sentences present an interesting take because the reality is that the same "immoral" activity was taking place decades ago, it just wasn't discussed or shared as publicly as it is now. Also, I don't think the sexual revolution has anything to do with the challenges straight/bi women are experiencing when trying to date men these days. If anything, it's just another sneaky way of putting the blame on women while simultaneously shaming them for fighting for and embracing their sexual autonomy.

[@56sweetpea]

The way the abortion rights are heading in this economy and the want to do away with no fault divorce from conservatives I’m good 😅 let’s not even mention how some men are asking for child marriage to stay legal so it has me looking at them suspiciously along with weaponized incompetence, DV rates increasing , matricide and the rate of pregnant women dying in labor or being murdered by their partners 👀 the happiest/ most successful women in my family are single with a community of friends so… I’ll choose that 😊 plus men are dropping out the workforce rapidly, I’m not taking care/raising someone’s son.

[@berrymckockiner5883]

I'm on the doIe and I'm glad you wmn are funding my lifestyle, thanks queens

[@crystaledwardsen2715]

​@@berrymckockiner5883that doesn't bother me if you need the help. I've had to get help from the government in the past for many years. I don't mind helping

[@carpediem4091]

I've been with my husband for almost 20 years and while both of us have defaults, he's pretty amazing overall. I'm just pretty sure that if I happen to end up a widow I'm going to retire from dating. Seeing people dating in their 40s around me looks like hell. I would hope that everyone that wants a significant other would just have the possibility to find someone that is a worthy person to have around.

[@ShortyTam]

You won’t know how you truly feel about the decisions you’ve made until you’re at the end of your life…Pros and cons to it all. I love being married..having kids and friends…I mean it’s not bad for everyone.

[@tshaolin971]

Thank you for not propagating fear and negative bias from social medias.

[@ZIbroweed]

In the end, I think it takes a lot of selflessness on the part of both parties, yeah? So I think it's good to encourage people who mostly concerned about what they can get out of the other person in a relationship to stay single, but it's also good to have perspectives like yours around so people who really want that know that it can still work with the right attitude.

[@rses916]

Same for you.

[@Helen_590]

As a black British woman living in the UK, i have realised that men not being able to communicate is actually better then some of the horror stories i have heard, and some of my personal experiences. So, for context , right now there are actually a lot of African men (and women) coming over from Africa, mainly Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, but ESPECIALLY NIGERIA , due to instability and economic reasons from their home countries, which isnt a problem as anyone would do the same. From my own experience i have found that, surprisingly ,there are a lot of men that are already on the dating apps, months into arriving in the UK looking for love. Personally, i would like to have gotten myself settled first with work and building savings and understanding the country and ways of living before i start looking for love in a new country ! But thats just me.. Now here is where these dating stories get weird and wild from your average dating story. From some of the nightmares I've heard, some men whilst dating innocent women, secretly hide that they have a wife and kids back in the home country. So it seems that some of these men make you fall in love, get married, even have children ,(unfortunately the children end up actually being collateral damage in the scam relationship in the end), for the sole purpose of obtaining better immigration status like Leave to Remain or even British citizenship, then after they become a ghost. Sometimes, they will be asking you for money for a "Building project" or lots of money for a sick relative or a business venture. Some will even suggest buying a house so they don't need to stay with relatives or hotel, only for the victim to eventually find out that the house , or building project venture or the sick relative money that she was giving to her supposedly husband or boyfriend , was money to bring his real wife and children over to the UK or to sustain them back home. And in some extreme and sickening cases....the family that attended the wedding or the wife, is aware of what is happening in the UK as some women are Muslim and Islam supports polygamy. TLDR - A man not being able to communicate is better than a man manipulating you into falling in love with him, because he wants to remain in the country and sometimes they marry you and make you pregnant knowing full well, that they already have wife and kids already. 4B movement will actually save lives.

[@tshaolin971]

The so called "4b movement" is not a thing in Corea as reported by actual Corean women, it's just a another social media fake narrative to make people live in fear.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's better to date a man whose history you can verify. The foreign men are looking for papers to settle faster and marrying when they arrive is really a strategic survival goal. In Africa, before people marry there's a lot of probing of history and lineage. You can't do that with a foreign man in England.

[@LilyGazou]

The numbers of “grapes” have risen drastically now. UK is now the grape capital of Europe. Used to be Sweden.

[@cd6741]

​@@LilyGazou What does this have to do with the original comment?

[@veho7417]

I absolutely agree with your statement that more and more women rather choose to be single than be with someone who doesn't add value to their lives. Therefore I've decided to stay single unless somebody comes along who I consider an actual enrichement. So far this person hasn't showed up and probably never will. The majority of my single female friends (mid 30s to 40s) have done the same for the exact same reason as most of them are doing great without men in their lives as well. They have nice apartments of their own, good jobs, enough money and a great social life. So all in all we are doing fine.

[@10secondsofmylife]

i have an older friend from work who has 2 sons in their early 20s. they both live at home not because it‘s expensive out there, but because mommy does the laundry, mommy does the cleaning, mommy does the cooking and buying groceries. they could very well live together with 4 other dudes and be independent in their own little shithole of an appartement in the city being young and living it up, but they don‘t. they want to build some online business and be rich and then go after younger women when they‘re older (their words). their parent‘s house is big and their family is quite rich, but these boys just have no ambition to be independent without a woman cleaning up after them.

[@purplelove3666]

And they will have pick me's for that,but if they are so rich, how come they don't have a maid?

[@berrymckockiner5883]

City Bois we up 💪😂

[@10secondsofmylife]

@@purplelove3666 having a cleaner once a week is not relieving you of all the basic household chores that come up every day if you‘re trying to keep your house nice. having staff every day at the house is not cheap by any means in western countries even if you are quite rich and some people just don’t like having staff over every day. it’s also a security issue. think for yourself.

[@tshaolin971]

​@@10secondsofmylife Men maturation takes longer than women so your opinion is irrelevant.

[@10secondsofmylife]

@@tshaolin971 my opinion on the lives of these two young men was not stated. it was a statement of facts.

[@LotsofWhatever]

I am in my 50s and have never married or had kids and have never seen either in my life. I have a life, am not miserable, and that choice is not anyone else's business.

[@margonaut]

Staying single is better than being with the wrong person. I gave up trying to find “the one” & he showed up in my 40s.

[@tabathaterry2998]

My grandma struggled for 25 years to get a divorce she had to learn a new language, a new culture, go back to school work a new profession and wait until her children were old enough

[@purplelove3666]

Why do some people act like women being able to take care of themselves financially is recent? Did we skip the 80's and 90's and the early 2000's?

[@kaylheecarroll3186]

I didn't get married "till I was 36 and don't regret marrying at the age and whoever wants to be single and whoever wants to stay single at whatever age should and enjoy it❤😊!

[@theaqua1517]

Agree

[@user-yx4zf6sy8f]

As a man who has also given up on modern dating I fully support this. For me personally women's wants just don't align with mine. Women seem to want a man who values being emotionally expressive, sensitive and vulnerable type. That just isn't me, and paraphrasing something said in the video around the 14:00 mark if I have to play to a script that doesn't resonate with me I'd rather just not. It isn't that the bar has been raised too high, it's that the bar has been raised in areas that I don't care about. I am happy to spend my life hunting traveling and spending time with my dogs. I hope that realization that you can stay single and be happy is as liberating for you as it was for me. Great video

[@kaishel3037]

I think thats a good way to describe your situation and I respect that. Its nice to see a actual genuine and not angry comment from a guy in this comment section. Im a woman and this is my reasoning as well. Im just much happier focusing on hobbies and friends and Im genuinely happy with that. I really hope this becomes much more known that you can be single and live a just as much fulfilling life.

[@MrPeterISABELLA]

Yes good idea....loving some one is about their needs not yours.

[@taylordeplazes7643]

I like your well-rounded discussion on this, to go a bit deeper, I think you almost have to talk about the impact of "male dating coaches" like Andrew Tate and other "red pill alpha man" type stuff. Also looking at the trends between men's and women's thought processes, women are becoming more progressive as men are becoming more conservative. There's a pendulum swing (at least in the US), where people are trying to romanticize women not being in the workforce anymore (tradwife, stay at home girlfriend, divine feminine), but even though men say they want these things, they also say they don't want to "take care of a woman." And I do believe women are very harshly scrutinized in the dating scene, whereas men scrutinize each other, women get it from both men and women- "do you cook? clean? do laundry? do you have your own money? are you willing to give up your dreams and goals to be with me?" and then there's the physical beauty standards that we're all well aware of. Whereas men somehow believe that women only want men that are 6'2" with ripped abs, but I don't see as many women with impossible standards for a man in their lives. Most of the time these comments are coming from other men, trying to tear men down but then pinning the blame on women. Overall it's this huge gender rift where both parties can't see eye-to-eye. There's real problems on both sides, but it feels like men don't want to hear what women have to say, which is why we get labeled as "angry feminists" when really we just want to be respected. Great video! I love your content and I'm so glad I found you, I've been watching for a while and I always get excited when you post a new video!

[@tamiewert808]

Could not agree more! My online dating experience was mostly brutal, with horrible men (inside and outside) expecting a runway model, and always obsessed with being skinny!! Like, have they looked in a mirror lately??

[@timeless33333]

Those men only want a doormat, a woman who makes money and gives her paycheck to him, cooks, cleans, has children, but he is not to take care of those children, only she is, he is there to be the cool parent, she is there to do all the nasty work of bringing up a child, including educating the child, etc... So these men don't actually want a real person, only someone who is willing to be abused and will be silent about it too.

[@berrymckockiner5883]

Lmao it's so hilarious that wmn deny having 6ft+ as a preference but apparently men only want supermodeIs 🤦

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Hey thanks so much for being here and sharing your thoughts on the matter xx

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

People keep parroting this incorrectly. Men are hardly becoming more conservative besides in South Korea, they’re largely staying the same, it’s women becoming much more liberal. If you ask me it’s better to stay consistent than sway much more to one side. The divide is caused by social media algorithms. We don’t just have entertainment and hobbies on social media anymore, the algorithm is influencing almost every part of people’s identities and it’s terrible, it’s driving them further apart, especially since so much of it is negative and harmful.

[@bforce3824]

I've been seeing videos from Korean women (in Korea...) saying that this 4b thing is pretty fringe. That they actually go through a lot of trouble to find a mate - match making services etc. I'm a 53 year old man. What I'm seeing is that people aren't vetting each other well enough before getting entangled in one way or another. I blame dating apps and the social isolation post covid. Then you have extreme vitriolic rhetoric in social media pitting one sex against the other. People end up in echo chambers of these extreme beliefs. People need to put that stuff away and look at what they truly encounter in real life. I've been out here dating - no one has been out to get me and my money. I've met perfectly nice women. I'm not trying to lock someone down in my kitchen or simping at the cost of my dignity. Tldr: stay away from dating apps, get out into the world and meet people again, properly vet anyone who comes into your life. Stay away from all the polarizing garbage in social media. It doesn't really reflect reality once you get out there.

[@roxy4325]

Spot on! The only time issues with guys have come up is when they start regurgitating Tiktok and KZbin nonsense and it's SO JARRING hearing that mess in real life!

[@Esme26433]

#choosebetter😁

[@jenniferawelch]

I have opted out of dating entirely for the past 3-4 years, and I’ve never been happier. I don’t think it will last forever, but who knows

[@nekogirl2009]

im 26 and have been in a solid relationship for the past 4 years. if he did not benefit my life then why would i want him in it? he's in my life because he helps foster a safe and loving home. i'm mentally ill and have several health issues. with this in mind, i wouldn't want him to stay with me out of obligation if he wasn't happy to be around. every few months i reiterate that us being involved in one another's lives is a choice. i love him and want him to stay for as long as he wants to stay. he understand that it works both ways. i recognize that we are two individuals. we can have opinions about the choices of the other, but we do not have final say. i feel like that recognition allows for better communication. when i talk to single men they say things like "i'd never let my girl do that". and i'd never let someone else dictate what i am and am not allowed to do. it's a complete lack of respect for someone being an individual first and a partner second.

[@fautpaspoussermamie]

Totally agree with the first statement about the difference of standards. And of course men who are married are happier because most men need a mommy to take care of them.

[@ses-ei7oc]

Facts!

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

Men are happier because they expect less and like to keep it simple. It’s not men’s fault they’re more easily satisfied and have a different outlook

[@thesevenkingswelove9554]

​@@Ryan-cb1ei then how come women get their lives shorter by 5 years being with a man due to stress etc. Are you saying stress is a mindset women made?

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

@@thesevenkingswelove9554 It’s not even true and y’all skew stats. A simple google search shows women who are married live longer. Stop spreading misinformation, I see you guys do this all the time with viral misinformation campaigns that aim to bash men. Also a lot of the time when women’s partners pass away or they divorce, they get that money, so that’s why you might see a subset of “single” women population who seems better off single. It’s basically a survivor bias lol. Use your head, obviously people with a support system AKA marriage tend to live longer and do better.

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

@@thesevenkingswelove9554 This is not even true and y’all skew stats. A simple google search shows women who are married live longer. Stop spreading misinfo, I see this all the time with what are essentially viral misinfo campaigns that aim to bash men, it’s terribly sexist. Also, a lot of the time when women’s partners pass away or they divorce, they get his money, so that’s why you might see a subset of the single women population who seems better off. It’s basically a survivor bias lol. Obviously people with a support system AKA marriage tend to live longer and do better. Also marriage and love isn’t always easy, it requires work, but when done right nothing compares, remember that.

[@viktoriaeinevoll1990]

I’m 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He adds value to my life just as any bestfriend would, if not more. Company, connection and social relations are extremely important to me, and personally a big part of that is having a partner❤

[@tshaolin971]

Congratulations, you have not been manipulated by social media crazy narratives.

[@Gigi44_Bookworm]

I’m not dating because I don’t feel the need to have a partner at this time as I don’t want to have biology kids and have so much else going on in my life. I agree with not wanting to be with a man that doesn’t add value to my life. Even as a more traditionally conservative woman. I have so many health issues right now that I don’t have the energy to date. I see the value and purpose many women see for themselves is having children and home making. Which I completely respect and support. I also support those who want to focus on their career or volunteer work or personal hobbies.

[@ZIbroweed]

Honestly, if you're not going to have kids it probably doesn't make sense to get married even if he is "[adding] value to [your] life." That just sounds like mooching at that point. It makes more sense to just stay friends if you don't want kids.

[@Gigi44_Bookworm]

@@ZIbroweed I can understand that perspective. I realize I didn't clarify something. I'm not comfortable having biological children due to my personal health history. However I would love to adopt children and to have a partner in life that finds value both as parents and as individuals building a life together. That said, I'm not currently in a place in my life where I can welcome a child into my life and home. Its not never its just not now. Marriage is important to me both religiously and on a personal level. I believe that making a commitment to a partner for the rest of your life is something worth cherishing.

[@ZIbroweed]

@@Gigi44_Bookworm That's super awesome! Especially if you're open to adopting anything other than healthy infants, as I know those are usually in really high demand. I hope you do find a good husband some day and adopt a bunch! I agree with you that marriage is a very important institution. I just think it should be about more than giving and getting from each other. It should have a greater purpose beyond the two people involved. I love your perspective and used to think I'd like to adopt too. At this point I'll probably end up staying single though, so as long as I can find other ways to make difference it's all good.

[@mariamechkova8582]

Lets face it, having children is hard doing everything on your own. You realize this once you partner is away for a couple of days.

[@tamiewert808]

I dunno, my friend says she enjoys when her hubby travels for work. She says it's easier and less work overall!!

[@654ujala]

@@tamiewert808my husband works night sometimes and the evening actually goes more smoothly as my 4yr old and 6yrold are more willing to listen to me when I’m the only adult around…but yeah, in general it’s hard to do everything on your own.

[@GildedFashion]

Your glasses are so flattering on you! They are fabulous Caitlin!

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Oh thank you! 🙏

[@EconDude]

I’m a 31 year old man who is not dating, so I really have no stake in this. There are a lot of men online who say these exact same things about women. That there are no positives to dating or relationships with women, just negatives. (This being the internet, let me say that I disagree with that sentiment.). From what I see both men and women post online, no one wants an actual relationship that requires work, compromise, respect for each other, and two-way emotional intimacy. Instead, they want a person who gives everything and expects nothing in return. So of course neither men nor women can come up with a reason why one should be with the other, unless you are getting superficial material things out of it. For men, the woman needs to cook, she can’t be older than a certain age, etc. For women, the man needs to be a certain height, he needs to make more money than her, etc. And on it goes. If I can simplify it to one thing it will be this: No amount of career advancement, travel, or property acquisitions will make someone mature enough to handle another person's emotional expression. And this is the number one thing that both men and women need, but cannot seem to find.

[@niononion4363]

Insightful & accurate! It requires mutual respect, selflessness (which today is heresy), and work.

[@dearbrave4183]

You are spot on about men's complaints of women, but I don't think online women's complaints about men have been about height. Instead it's things like - tolerable level of unhappiness - weaponised incompetence - pierced condm to baby trap her - opening the marriage despite her protest - closing the marriage when she has more success than him - refusing to let her work - destroying or throwing away things with sentimental values out of jealousy ( teddy bears, flowers, etc) - cheating - zero gift on birthday - zero gift on Christmas -zero gift on mother's day - shut up rings - cake smashing on wedding day - gaslighting - neglecting children - it's DV, etc If you really want to add to the conversation, instead of gaslighting women just for the sake of saying " I don't want to hear it, now hug each other" just so you can feel good about yourself, don't bother. Women are gaslighted everyday and their concerns are minimised by men and women who think to have figured it all out. So at this point, it's nothing new or insightful

[@berrymckockiner5883]

Facts both sides want the most benefit, with the least amount of investment

[@denajackson4462]

This is the most mature and honest comment on this video (that I have read thus far). Some of these comments are unbelievable. In order for a relationship to work, both people should add value to the relationship. I don't understand the one-sided thinking. People need to be aware of what they are contributing to the relationship. From there, a healthy relationship can be built by both people. Marriage ebbs and flows just like all areas in life; however, I enjoy marriage and would never exclude myself from the idea of marriage. By the way, I am a high earner married woman who would be financially stable and comfortable if I were single. I state this because I am not at the mercy of my mate providing for me. It truly is about partnership and building a life together. We're approaching 10 years of marriage, and I sincerely appreciate marriage. It's work, but it's rewarding.

[@TheVFXbyArt]

FYI: Sex and the City writer Candace Bushnell, 60, admits she regrets choosing a career over having children as she is now 'truly alone' Candace Bushnell, 60, says she regrets choosing career over having children Sex and the City creator said after not having children she is now 'truly alone' The TV series is based on a writer who chooses independence over motherhood

[@michaelmich00]

true, its the actual only legacy a woman can have in this world, not using it shows how selfish they are

[@kamicheikrame4010]

​@@michaelmich00You can have children if you insist. You have nothing to do with women. Get a life.

[@kamicheikrame4010]

We will do the same from now on, I would rather regret motherhood than be with a bad person.

[@michaelmich00]

@@kamicheikrame4010 bitter woman found

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

She chose career over children. Most people can’t even choose to have kids bc they can’t afford them. The women here aren’t always hyper fixated on career. That’s simply not true: these women are choosing THEMSELVES over children and family life The women who claim to regret their career aspirations would never give that money up to be a broke, struggling single mother. None of them would. They are publicly grieving the outcome of the choice KNOWING the alternative would likely be much worse. And yes, I would rather have the money than have kids. I could adopt. I could foster.

[@jeffjones7108]

Studies comparing the happiness of single men to men in relationships always include divorced men in the single men cohort, from what I've seen. Which is a failure to control for some of the most potent confounding variables possible when it comes to a study of male happiness. You're not registering the absence of a relationship; you're registering the presence of a divorce. And often the absence of daily access to their children. At best it's poor design, at worst it's bad faith.

[@theconsciousearthangel]

Yes. I opted out of dating because I just want peace. Soon, you realize that chaotic and abusive relationships aren't worth it and that you yourself need work too and to actually want to get to a place where you are so great, that hopefully you end up attracting the same energy.

[@kaneose]

The bar is set high for men and very low for women. A slightly above average guy will get far fewer DMs than a below average woman. Women to encourage bad behavior and discourage good behavior. I’ve notice that young women especially are attracted to negative energy. I’ve even heard them say that they are far more attracted to negative energy. Man who has figured it out got his life together has to pay double or triple amount then the men in her past who had to pay nothing to receive her good graces. In the end the reality is, men and women live in two completely different worlds when it comes to this topic.

[@chericoffman6321]

Most men can’t compete with our peace. I divorced 20 years ago and struck out in my own with 3 kids. I might die without a man, but I won’t die alone.

[@Iquey]

I love cleaning my living areas, ..... Assuming nobody else is living in the space and taking the cleaning for granted and remessifying it, who never steps up for their turn.

[@ilsev.3656]

43 here, quit dating a couple of years ago. Too many bad experiences, too much time and energy invested for no results. Similar stories from my friends, one of my best friends is 41 and in the same boat. The men she is meeting, the stories I've heard from her are really really bad. My sister keeps trying to push me back onto the apps as she genuinely wants me to find a loving caring partner, and I crave that as well but I'm just tired. The thought of getting back on there is making me want to run. So there is no winning, I decided to just live my life and be happy. If the men don't start to get it, I don't see how things can improve.

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Because you all are picking the same 20% of men the bottom 80% are completely invisible to you. This shit is comical. Automatically dismiss 80% of men but cry all men are trash. Lmao f outta here no sympathy

[@readingswithada]

@@BrianWaller-qe7gr you know what, you f outta here and date someone you find repulsive and disgusting out of that 80% of women you ignore

[@brittanydespi]

I am 33 and own a thriving family business with two of my older brothers. Both my brothers got married in their 20s and their wives both stayed home to raise the kids till school age. Our family business allowed us that freedom of being able to hire them when they the children were old enough to be in school. I am single and I discuss this with my brother how would it work if I got married and had children when I’m a large corner stone in the business, I’ve always struggled with how it would work. And dating has been hard when I own a business, have my own house, enjoy solo travel and can fully provide for myself when most men I’ve gone on dates are just getting their footing in their career if that. So I’ve told myself until there is someone that can add to my life I’ll have to keep on keeping on with my life as is, especially with how comfortable I’ve been living. I also have a client I’ve made cakes for, for years and she is a single mother who decided to do IVF after a divorce and happen to get pregnant with twins and is raising the twins on her own. Which I find so very admirable!

[@ZIbroweed]

How is intentionally creating single parent children admirable? I understand that sometimes life happens, but all broader social indications show that kids have a much harder time on all kinds of levels when they're raised in a single parent family. sometimes it works out, sure. But it's really not ideal, and the kids get no say in that.

[@brittanydespi]

@@ZIbroweed I find it admirable that she made the decision to have the children on her own because she may never have the chance again if she were to wait for another man to come along. It’s definitely not ideal but even in a family that has both parents with such a high divorce rate the guarantee that both parents would stay together is not that great but her making the decision to have children and knowing she is financially able and willing is admirable to me.

[@ZIbroweed]

@@brittanydespi I see. We're just going to disagree on that then. I admire when people decide to have children in a family, but I tend to see it as mostly selfish when someone wants to create their own child so bad that they're willing to put them at greater risk like that.

[@annalukaszyn]

I divorced after 14 years, and get married again a year ago. I have tried dating apps for couple days before I got together with my husband but it's actually funny how we got together. Our daughters are best friends and that's how we become friends and then fall in love. I often think that I wouldn't date after my divorce and I would be a happy single mum. I am very blessed with my relationship but it's because it's a choice to be in it. Love you videos❤

[@LethalLemonLime]

the 4b movement isn't very common in Korea. it's more common in the USA/western online spaces than it is in Korea lol. Most women are not single here. The single women here are mostly foreigners especially foreigners that aren't East Asian. The low birth rate has nothing to do with 4b or dating. It has a lot to do with the economy.

[@biboebbs624]

i love how you’re diversifying your content

[@semerahpadi4484]

I didn't choose to be single. I am an introvert, and since i am pretty shitty in social life, i just work and accumulate wealth and insurance for retirement. Me and my friend joke that we both live next to each other as neighbours 😅 You people with a partner should be glad to have each other. You may hate it now, but you'll appreciate it later.

[@MyelleSunsetPhotography]

This is what we try to tell men not to debate it's just the truth. 2:03 single women are happier men in relationships are happier. That's why men are the only ones complaining about women being single because it affects them too eventually so many men will be out of options.

[@Riu-bw4bl]

Seriously. I think these comments really show that. Under any of the comments of women talking about their life being happy while being single are absolutely livid men bring up how theres no way they are happy and they are probably ugly ect ect. Men are so bitter that women are not choosing them lmao

[@tuttuttut7758]

Im 40 and never have been in a very serious relationship. They were always more into me then I was into them. It was suffocating. I’m busy, I have a very social life and work next to it. Don’t have the time or the energy. I want to do what I want to do and travel a lot.

[@minderbean]

Caitlin!! I can’t keep making a comment every time you hit the nail on the head! 😳 I entered the relationship armed with years of therapy and personal growth and John Gottman’s book. After 10 years of trying, he refused and and moved out. Refused couples therapy. Watched the Jimmy on Relationshio videos but never talked about it unless I asked. At least with kids out of the house for a week at a time I can try to clean and declutter my house and mind. Now I’m back to feeling so mentally and emotionally broken and like I have to start all over. Oh, and family is across the country and besties are at closest 5hrs and also have busy lives. There are things to be grateful for, so it will be ok. Just hard AF right now.

[@orangecat999]

I like the approach of cold rationality: sex with men is a net liability to women, from a health, safety and wellness standpoint. For example, whose sexual health is more at risk? Women's. Who pays the costs of both conception and contraception? Women. No men die from activities related to reproduction or its prevention--but many women do. It's been my experience that this liability is invisible to men. I think it's because, up until now, men saw s#x as an eventual "given"... a resource to be acquired at a cost to THEM.

[@0fficialselena__90]

And how men treat women's bodies during sex and how violent and degrading it is then there's r*pe and so much more!

[@thegamegabon]

You're right. Some women have died of childbirth. But I don't think that applies to ALL sex. Some women carries STDs too that can be passed on to men, and some of those diseases can be life threatening. Plus if you choose a decent guy and tell him how you like it, you would enjoy quite a bit too. 🙂It's kinda hard to have your neck kissed, nipple pulled, and the motion with a sex toy alone. And a good man would let you stay home if you get pregnant while he's working extra to make sure y'all okay. Not saying every man is like that, and I have seen that, but I have also seen a lot of that good side, so I think we should not take generalize our bitter experiences

[@GengoSenmon]

You are very solipsistic, which is typical of narcissists. You only see men's interactions with you or other women, which is the culmination of all his actions up to that point. What your solipsism has you blinded to realizing is that a man's world is far more violent and dangerous either being sent directly to war, having to fight for resources in the dangerous blue-collar world, or in the cutthroat white-collar world. While you are at home painting your nails, there are millions of men doing dirty and dangerous work for your and every woman in society's benefit. Stop playing the victim when you have the easy end of the deal.

[@readingswithada]

not to mention the experience isn't really worthwhile if not downright terrible, I can do it by myself better

[@elizabeetle13-k4z]

​​@@readingswithadaThis. I never had a high drive, except with one man, and I learned from that relationship that it wasn't worth it. But with a toy, it got the job done without the mess and bs of having to tell someone how to do this or that, not that they listened, as well as put up with all the nonsense outside of the bedroom. Thank goodness my drive disappeared long ago. I'd rather read.

[@javanjunkindahouse6625]

Love a good rant! ❤ Yes to all of this, dating at 53 - actually deciding to NOT date for the last 10 years because over and over meeting men who just were so not evolved. Some worked but some did not, was negged a lot, my giving nature taken advantage of over and over, be it emotionally and/or financially or even just to cook them meals, it all became too much. All the games, talking and going out multiple times but so superficial. And those are the best case scenarios I experienced. I expect you to come fully able to cook, clean, maintain hygiene, work, do for yourself, emotional intelligence - all of it or I’m so super solid on my own and would rather pour energy into those that pour into me as well. Also I’m more concerned with creating and maintaining female friendships at this point in life.

[@bigbenguitarslinger494]

I don't have any problem with women checking out of the dating market because a lot of young men are checking out of the dating market also. Be free, do what you want to do

[@sarahalderman3126]

I am a 46 year old woman, married for 23 years to my high school sweetheart. I would agree almost entirely to the letter around 27 minutes. Having grown up in the 80’s and 90’s my childhood was filled with this idea that men and women were equal, being pushed incessantly in school and media, while simultaneously having to figure out, on my own, that we simply are not. Physically we’re not, emotionally we’re not, realistically we’re just not. Women simply have a harder lot in this life, our bodies are simply different and more burdensome than men’s lives. We experience periods once per month, deal with the fluctuations of hormones constantly throughout our lives, childbearing is incredibly difficult physically speaking as well as emotionally speaking. On top of that we have menopause towards the end of our childbearing years. We simply have a heavier burden than men in this life. So it does not surprise me that many older women are choosing to be single rather than deal with the burden of a family and marriage relationship, which allows for the woman to focus solely on her own happiness rather than focusing on her family. I have a different perspective than many of these tradwife people and the radical feminist people. I mean men in general have been using women since forever, in exchange for love and sex, for physical support. To me that’s fair, providing that BOTH people are aware of the trade taking place and that both sides are held accountable to their agreement. I think marriage should be seen as a business contract, from the start and both parties need to be clear and accountable about their expectations for each other. Fidelity for example should be enforceable, for both, and those found to have violated their obligation should be penalized depending upon their original agreement. Furthermore alimony, child support, and inheritance should all be included in our original agreements, and be legally binding throughout the lifespan of both parties. Having watched multiple women I know marry young to a man who is usually a few years older (one who was 14 years older but most are within a 2-3 year difference)… to make it 10-20 years only to be cheated on in their forties. Forced to divorce their cheating husbands who then go on the begin a second family often with a girl half their age! Meanwhile many of these women are left with little to nothing from the marriage, no assets of any kind and no upward mobility as far as a career and being in their forties having very little to no potential for remarrying. Some do end up remarrying eventually usually to a much older man though, and usually one with a high amount of “needs”. Finding a loving and trustworthy man in our early years does appear to be one of the most important things a woman can do, along with solidifying her expectations through a legally binding commitment PRIOR to entering into marriage. Every single man I have known, including my own husband, has been unfaithful in numerous ways throughout their relationships, providing that the relationship lasts longer than a year or so. Those marriages lasting longer than a decade, in my personal experience, have a 100% infidelity rate… based upon every single relationship I’ve ever been privy to. With the sole exception being POSSIBLY my grandmother and grandfather, however at this point I find that extremely unlikely… they just didn’t talk about that sort of thing then. As sex simply wasn’t discussed back then and there was still a LOT of shame around sex outside of marriage… appropriately so. I believe we, as women, would be FAR better served if we all accepted reality and used that reality to bring up our children. For example I wish that I had been taught the massive differences between what men and women want! That men are not focused on romance and love, that sex with as many women as possible is a primary fantasy for nearly all men. That these old men who were so “kind” to me as a young girl, were in fact just perverts who were using me. Here I had thought they were all just kindly grandpa’s or kindly uncle’s. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that these men who were 40 or 50 years OLDER than myself were actually hitting on me! Yuck! Heck I didn’t even realize that the older men in their 30’s or 40’s who were always going out of their way to assist me, were actually interested in me sexually or “romantically” at the time. No one informed me that these old men were actually perverted enough to see a girl outside of their own generation in a sexual manner and as a young girl I did not put that together until my mid to late twenties! Figuring that out was traumatic to say the least, especially given the sexual abuse I endured as a very young child. Here I had actually thought, following years of therapy, that it was only “some” sick men who were pedophiles who engaged in this sort of activity. Talk about a false sense of security! But no it is not only some sick men, it is ALL men, they are ALL sexually attracted to very young girls. Especially given our current culture our young girls need to be informed of these facts!

[@DinaStrange]

great comment, and i refused to birth a child into this mess unless a man can compensate me for that child with a trust fun. no money, no baby. bye.

[@DeMafiaGirl]

About time to be honest. I haven't dated at all because from the beginning I hated the dating market and hook up culture and men being absolute trash cheating and lying on women all around me. There's a reason why women tend to wither away and lose their light when they get married and then suddenly glow up when they get a divorce haha

[@pickled_sausage]

What i like the most about your videos is how it just feel SO much like a conversation I have with my best friend. It's so chill, yet so informative, and fun, and refreshing. This video was amazing, as usual.

[@jaredweiman2987]

Women are choosing to record and upload videos of themselves crying in the car about being single

[@kyleechristensen2217]

I’m 40yo, thrice divorced, mother of 5 and single for the last 6 years. I am happier than ever being single now and find it hard even thinking about trying to date in the current climate.

[@Amphitera]

I always state from the get-go I'm only interested in a (platonic) friendship whenever a guy approaches me. From what I've seen in the modern dating scene, especially online, it's clear almost all men think the internet is a free brothel, and they treat any woman they meet accordingly. (The few men who are not like this are not dating, they married their highschool sweetheart in their 20s). Since nowadays women's survival is no longer tied to being married, it is indeed far better to just stay single. Also, being ace ftw :D

[@barryepsteins4984]

Problem is that women control the hookup culture and they're all going after the perceived top 5% of players who'll never settle down. Most women end up ran through and unable to pair bond by the time they reach their late 20's. Too late. You guys are so glued to your phones it's like a 3rd appendage. Women have no self awareness and are too easily manipulated by social media. Juice ain't worth the squeeze. Guys are checking out and it's going to get unimaginably worst in the years to come. Buckle up.

[@ChristopherClyde12]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back

[@ChristopherClyde12]

Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?

[@RoyJ.Tillison-tq5ed]

Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being

[@ChristopherClyde12]

Thanks a lot. I just did. Impressive.

[@dubisays]

This is a bot. I see this posted in red pill comment sections too.

[@kimberlywilliams5783]

Great video. I would love to see a part 2. BTW... Your evolution has been awesome!

[@heidithesausage]

Men benefit for women's domestic & emotional labour. Men need women to improve their status with other men. I personally think that domestic violence is such a major issue, not just in Australia, but globally & women are just safer being single.

[@planetofthelivingsandman3862]

So I’m a guy and I’m in my 40s and I personally think the reason why men/women are walking out on dating is pretty simple. When you look at both parties arguments, the arguments are almost identical and self absorbed. I think the reason why relationships suck is because everybody wants the benefit of relationship but want to be able to conduct themselves as though they were still single. Both sides are guilty of this. Some good people that would be great husbands or wives get screwed over too. Basically nobody wants to adjust their behavior, grow up, keep it in their pants so to speak or be accountable for their behavior. And I see this from men and women equally. Everybody just wants their way all the time, and heaven forbid somebody ever tell you no. My two cents anyway

[@anonymousdogg1559]

As a dude, personally, I believe we need to learn to understand each other. As a young guy I can say without a doubt most guys right now, prefer a stay at home mother as a wife, I’ve also found that most good men will be willing to wait before marriage for s3x and I find that as honorable to respect the 10 commandments and try to keep them. Lastly, there are so many many women that are now only fan creators, or have had a huge amount of bedroom partners that it’s just not worth the gamble to date those women, especially when dudes are trying to honor you by not having s3x and waiting for you. A lot of good men and bad, I feel we need to hear each side and understand one another. I pray that you are doing well and safe. I can respect women’s choices and sadly a lot of guys hurt women so I’d understand why women are staying single on top of all the other reasons cited in the video. ❤️

[@0fficialselena__90]

I disagree especially when men and women live in a world that only cares about men, benefits men and caters to them. "Many women having an only fans" which is the biggest lie plus, what does that have to do with men and the difference for women who do that is consent which many men don't seem to understand. Women with multiple partners can have something serious and it didn't work or they didn't want nothing serious and men have been doing this so why I'd it a problem when women do the same? The double standards is crazy! What does a women knowing what they want having control or doing what she wants eith her body have to do with men? She's grown and as long as she's safe and it benefits her then what's the issue? The good men you speak of aren't the majority and they lie.

[@lifewithdency]

@@0fficialselena__90 men are the biggest consumers of porn… women decide to go on OF and this leads to women being shamed 🤡 make it make sense