Can a Narcissist realize who they are? A way to make them understand?

[@avanimashroo]

I went through 8 months of therapy to leave the narcissist X, my therapist said biggest gift on the planet is SELF AWARENESS, and if someone doesn't have it, u cant help them at all, just move out

[@TexasGirl-Z71]

This is so wise. If more people really understand what narcissism actually is,they will understand why it’s not just something someone can change because someone tells them what they are. More times then not it will backfire.It’s best to move on and not even mention anything just when you see the signs of who they are just leave. You are an exception to the rule when it comes to this and I hope people listen to what you say on here because it’s the truth.I have become obsessed with your videos though. Just because you make so much sense and know this in and out and you have helped me so much.

[@ATeitter]

You speak truth. if anyone needs confirmation, ask Sam Vaknin. “Hope is for morons” I think are his exact words. People don’t want to hear the truth. Your delivery is great. 🙏🏻

[@1401chan]

No hope here. But I applaud your own journey, becoming aware of your issues isn't easy, probably even more so when you have been hurting others for decades. It makes it easier to understand why most with npd don't become aware actually, few people who are brave enough to deal with that. Becoming aware of npd takes a great amount of courage, dealing with it even more so. Good on you Ben, keep growing and healing

[@G_ATA_7]

When I shared ANY videos he laughed at me and started calling me a narcissist and applying the terminology to me, playing the victim and no doubt saying this to others...but his ex has always been in the picture so all I have been is the 'extra' to manipulate her and get a bit of 'freedom'. His plan backfired as I saw through him soon after he 'moved in' with me and the more I saw the more distant I became.

[@DJH97]

Good for you for being big enough to look in the mirror and realize the hurt you were causing. My ex narcissistic husband of 30 years outwardly claimed he was just “fine the way I am”. Lol. Never thinking about how his words and actions harmed his family. I gave up on hope and finally divorced. Now the healing begins.

[@amwil4980]

I left after 17 years He constantly contacts me Claiming he's changed I've heard this all before I've left 4 times before He's put me into the position of not believing him We have kids And I get them on the weekend I can see this is affecting them

[@remnant1018]

By increasing my knowledge and improving my understanding, you are giving me hope that I won’t go through this again. It’s been my entire adult life. I think I speak for all of us who have that hope in saying… thank you.

[@marijahabijan7744]

They project absolutely everything on other people. If you listen carefully, they will say all their narcissistic treats when talking about other people (even deep psychological reasons behind them). And no, they do not see it in themselves. Just get out of that relationshit, you all deserve so much better.

[@MrsSomma]

Even if he changed, I wouldn’t want him back. I can never forget or forgive all of the horrible things he’s KNOWINGLY done. It’s not that they don’t known they did what they did. They know what they did and they don’t care how it effects the people they hurt.

[@hanakosmic6640]

May not be for hope but its good to hear someone out there is trying to work on their NPD. Thank you for being courageous enough to own the lies and learned behaviors that you exhibited to push for a better outcome for yourself and others. its a big fckn deal! rock on.

[@nettom7575]

Your right. A change has to be for self...thanks so much

[@susanmcmahon4733]

This disorder is soooo SAD My narcissist ex husband had a LOVELY family we had a lovely home he was totally loved by all of us and he NEVER RESPECTED US he had multiple affairs and in the end he was caught out in an affair and had told that woman that he was separated, he didn't bother telling me, the lies after lies cheating and projection eventually no choice but to walk, years and years later he still running around after new supply looks so pathetic he 65 now and he thinks he COOL behaving like a 12 year old but NOTHING I could do had to protect myself and get on with my life, divorced few years now and happy and content, do agree that this disorder is shame based you mentioned in another video and my ex husbands Father was EXACTLY THE SAME HE was an alcoholic narcissist and gave family a HORRIBLE life plus my ex husband was physically abused just before teen age years and I convinced these all added to this disorder, thank you for your honesty.

[@Thankful305]

Someone once me one told me I had an addiction to…. Hope! He called the drug, Hopi I’m. I will never forget how stunned I was at that moment. Then admitted, yes I am. Thank you for clarifying “ they need to want to realize their need for change far more than you do!”

[@lisamay464]

You know what you are an inspiration. Listening to you, how you have got to this point on your journey and how you are learning to be self aware and taking responsibility for all you have done to me is an inspiration. I have bpd and cptsd and I'm in a recovery 12 step program have been for 15 years! Although we are different what I identifie with you is your courage and sheer drive to be a better human being. I'm listening to you also because I wasn't sure about my boyfriend who now is my ex because I decided to trust my guts and you have helped with that. Thankyou. All the very best to you and yours. 🙏

[@dauglove7835]

I chose to not call him a narcissist or sociopath etc but i did point out the many associated behaviors many times and ask him to change them . His counselor brought up sociopathy when i went to a joint session and i really could not comprehend...that would require oh so much more research to make sense of how it fit... I had already tried to help deal with his addictions and it was toxically transactional so i was constantly being punished or told that he was going to AA , etc and 'nothing had changed and so it must be me', etc... itll make you nuts to try to get another person to change and yes, it's short lived especially with these deep seeded problems. He made out that if he did something towards repairing or health , then i owed him something, usually sex...if that didnt happen, game on, then the covert punishing happened.... Hope is what does hold together the toxic trauma bond...absolutely...hope post promises post withdrawal/abandonment post cold aggression post lying post calm exhale period, etc, etc --yes, hope was definetly the glue that held me in the trauma bond... Thanks for this.

[@ianclifton4891]

My ex said I needed counselling lol. So true! Accepting being with such a person means you probably do need counselling to get over your own issues. I was strong and got out......maybe not weak like she called me......

[@newseason4417]

Thank you for your passion and compassion. Great work

[@SurvivorC]

I held on for 18 years too long. I didn’t know these words like gaslighting, mutuality, & narcissism & it wasn’t until recently I found tools like this.

[@jackidezell3401]

Hi! It makes me wonder if my ex narcs new therapist will be able to see his narcissism. He's a neglectful covert fearful narc and it took me 2 1/2 years to fully believe and accept that's what I was dealing with. How will anyone not in a relationship with him be able to see it and help him like his therapist. Its funny you accepted your wife back after 4 months, I left for almost 2 months prior to this break up and he blamed me for that, and continued to blame me for any reaction that I've had to his disrespect.

[@susanmcmahon4733]

My case there was no point had to walk away, he honestly thinks he is cool and getting on in years now and FAR FROM COOL, looks RIDICULOUS and everyone just laughs at him and see's through him, such a PITY he NEVER GIT HELP, totally AGREE it has to come from them and have to see themselves that there is SOMETHING IS WRONG, gave up hope years and years ago and now live in peace and HAPPINESS.

[@evonne315]

When I was with my ex the hardest part was accepting I could not make him self-actualize or want to change. I think now he fooled me into believing he was ignorant of his own actions, he knew what he was doing I know that now. Regardless. It is absolutely 100% manipulation and being basically the same way as a narcissist to try to force that change onto them for your own benefit, even if they are hurting you and know it. The answer is if they don't change walk away. Its really the only way. Now, there is manipulation on the narcissists part when you do finally walk away in order to keep you, but that when your own conviction needs to kick into high gear and you remain strong. I think for myself, and this is through my own therapy I learned this, the fact I have CPTSD made me all the more vulnerable to believing the lies and manipulation. If your on the autism spectrum you are also more vulnerable. I am sure lots of things make people vulnerable on a fundamental level. For people like us, even learning about narcissism, you can still be in confusion because of having these conditions. I didn't know I had CPTSD until I left him, and it did stem from events before my time with him, but got worse with him. So with all my focus on my ex-partner and what was the problem with him, I failed to step out of it and look at the problem with my own self. Why am I tolerating this? It will always boil down to you managing you, and you chose to be with a person who truly chooses to work with you on any problems through not just words but consistent and compassionate action. So for anyone beating themselves up for tolerating abuse, or who have friends that say crap to you about it, they don't know shit! Go see a therapist for yourself, do the research on YOUR OWN SELF and then take appropriate action to protect yourself and manage your own life. Its not your fault if your pre-programmed to tolerate or have a condition you have a hard time understanding why a person would be so selfish. Your a human being, give yourself some grace. It makes it easier though to know the "whys" for yourself. I am shocked now how little others know of thier own selves, now that I have taken this journey of self healing. And I still love my ex narc ....because ...I just do. And thats OK. But I also know I cannot have him in my life. What I DON'T have is any confusion about it anymore as to why, and thats pretty big for being able to move on without regrets.

[@sue1570]

The greatest help for me has been to change the way I think. De-personalizing the ab***. It is hard to do...but it is similar to being accountable to God, even to yourself. Remembering who I am in Christ and following scripture, has helped me to stop seeing myself through the narcissists' eyes and see myself through God's eyes. The really tough part is getting past the triggers. Being extremely self aware of my own thoughts and feelings and not reacting. Only changing ourselves can help change others.

[@thisguy8224]

Another great video man. You’re speaking to my past reality. Word for word, direct to my situations.

[@savetrump9120]

They can change and then change right back.

[@Stephanie-xx7jc]

Great video and yes you have to give up on hope at some point and I did after 4 years. Me ex always would yell out loud, "I don't even know who I am"! I watched so many videos and read so much about narcissism..especially when he gave me the silent treatment. I tried nicely explaining what I thought was going on with him and and sending him a cpl videos and all he could ever say was, "maybe I am bc everyone I've been with has called me one" but I really do think he was not able to acknowledge it

[@karenolsen2983]

Thank you for this video and advice. Really best advice on narcissist èver. 🙏

[@ericnavarro6691]

Thank you

[@tajassasnaar2816]

Narcissist can be a psychopath. Kl mau srius dgn org ky gitu, ya lu siap2 ntar terjadi hal yg lbh sadis & mengerikan drpd sekedar nyusahin lu.

[@bobhope7364]

Saying a narcissist can change and be a normal healthy person, is like saying a blind person can suddenly see colours. Impossible.

[@lifesavingtrashcan]

I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me and yes a blind person can suddenly see colors through the healing power of Jesus Christ ❤️ Faith without works is dead .

[@fernandocastro3531]

Wow, pretty inspirational stuff....

[@jaimequintana7041]

And help myself help myself to not be so hard headed, but that doesn't change the love I have for you,and if you never get of your ego cloud what do I do with all this love.

[@tray31679]

Thank u I'm so proud of u God bless u I had to subscribe I appreciate you

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for the support!

[@debral9651]

I don't want the person back who I strongly suspect is a narcissist. I do however wish he could identify it in himself and try to work through some things for himself. I worry he will end up alone as he is 67 years old and still at these games. I wish him happiness even after all he did to me.

[@TheTree3]

blessings

[@marybowers6090]

People say narcs resent people who try to help them but ur still with ur wife, you are still together. I’m not saying it’s common but it can happen depending where they are on the spectrum. My mother is a narc as is my dad, my therapist said if u change ur behavior either the dynamics will shift with the narc or they won’t. My mother overt narcs behavior changed. My dad didn’t

[@cherrybacon3319]

My Ex would say, nomatter what the topic or situation was, "I don't give a feck " or Feck em", so I think he enjoyed being rhe way he was because he felt in control with his beliefs 🍒

[@rosesantiago174]

THANK YOU!

[@RawMotivations]

Welcome!

[@bharti9924]

You know the second meet i told him ...he is my last hope to trust world , human after my mom demise so think before coming into my life. Cos i don't want to fail in my relationship. , I have lost my health, my career , my mom but i don't want to fail in relationship atleast cos i wouldn't be able to survive.

[@ruxandrasandu68]

What do you think about a narcissist with sadistic traits ?

[@vell5052]

This isn’t as easy for people who are married. Not everyone wants to throw away their marriage. And I was hoping to hear something with a little more hope considering that no one is beyond the reach of the blood of Jesus.

[@kimberlyhanley5905]

Thanks for your insight! I finally figured out my ex from 25 years ago is a Narc. We've remained sorta friends over the years but he's not really my friend. The last puzzle piece fell into place recently and I realized what he is, and I asked him if I could speak to his counselor. He's so depressed and now I know why. But I can't diagnose. He's gone radio silent, as you can imagine, and I've made zero contact. Would it be wise to speak to his parents (in their 70's) or should I drop it? Please advise.

[@Mia-hs2tw]

My ex told me he had been told he is narcissistic and manipulative. He even said he thought he might be narcissistic. Will a narc care if they are narcissist? I thought it was odd that he seemed to care if he was a narc.

[@gayemurphy3271]

Can you bee both neglected & spoiled at the same time as a child?? Thank you 💕

[@adelrashed8490]

Sounds difficult..are u talking of " fire n Ice"... Maybe intermittent praise when they extracting supply from you is when u get spoilt (love bombed)..and when ur a hidrance to them( ur neglected)...hmm...as there anyone who can add to his dilemma?

[@sun_raven]

soo..... your telling me that sending him this video is not a good idea.. just let it be...? (im currently in no contact but i was still waiting for him to figure it out)

[@redditreddit5497]

Have you heard of narcissists mentioning a 'preprogramming' to there gfs or ex. "I have to warn you so you don't fall for it". Is this someone who has self awareness or does that sound like a manipulating tactic.

[@RawMotivations]

Yes 100%

[@redditreddit5497]

@@RawMotivations it's manipulating me? Or they know.. Or both? Thank you.

[@jaimequintana7041]

Scorpio I know babe I'm working, but I believe you have narcissist behavior that's you had for years ,I'm watching all kind of Ed videos to apply to your behavior.

[@LexRex11]

LSD and ketamine can bring a narcissist self awareness but they have to want it.

[@GoogleUser-pc6tu]

Did you Truly love your wife before she left? I’m under the impression, narcissistic people can’t love. Just really curious Also, do you feel empathy now ?

[@RawMotivations]

No because I didn't care - so I didn't love.

[@sherrychoksi4609]

🤗❤❣

[@niyserenjiy]

I got a narc to change something he wasn't doing on his own even before I came around.

[@RawMotivations]

You got a narc to change before you met them?

[@bharti9924]

It hurts alot , Ben ... It hurts ... I really want to die.

[@bharti9924]

Cos it feels like he never loved , or why I loved that person so hard after knowing everything about him , although i tried but i am not in the position to give anybody a chance.its been complete 4 years after him i haven't met any guy. ,One interaction i had ldr .. that recalled all old pattern.

[@adelrashed8490]

Bharti.. please check ur either severly co-dependant or are a borderline who is un-diagnosed. Wishing to die is ur symptom.

[@sherrychoksi4609]

LOVE UR VIDEOS BUT ONLY UR SIDE MIKE IS LOW .🤪😜😝🤑🤗❣