Can a Romantic Breakup Cause PTSD? | Why Mental Disorder Definitions Matter

[@mountainmermaid8]

I had a relationship with a narcissist and it changed me permanently. It threw me into paranoia and anxiety and while I do trust people again, it's not the same.

[@5fingerjack]

I'm sympathetic. In this discussion he ruled out abusive situations, which is what you describe. Whether abusive relationships cause PTSD is a different discussion, but they would have a better chance.

[@mrsssmlllaie4402]

I experienced the same thing. I'm still not able to trust. Thinking about the relationship makes me anxious and very upset.

[@Veronica-bc6pp]

Same here! I’m was the never the same still not

[@Rose-bp1ec]

I feel like he really skipped over all the other kinds of abuse that can exist in a relationship

[@majeszczak]

How are u doing now? 10 months passed. For me 2 from my breakup, exactly like example, 1year of love of my life, 23 yo guy and she ended it out of the blue

[@mjlechenique]

Heartbreak is seriously underestimated clinically. Mental health professionals need to start addressing traumatic heartbreak seriously (I say this as a licensed psychologist myself). The APA monopoly over "the truth" when it comes to mental health is not helpful. I believe some kind of clinical category should be created for relational trauma, because this would help the people who suffer from it, at leats to feel validated. Great vid! Thanks Dr. Grande!

[@violetlove1893]

Thank you for saying this

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.........

[@nimishashaji626]

I wish I could talk to some1 like you .

[@tiqazulaina7652]

Thank you for saying this, i have gone through it and still affected by it tremendously..nightmares almost everyday, anxiety, and feeling scared for no reason even when my break up was a year ago

[@uniquegod1997]

@@violetlove1893 you are a strong women! You can achieve everything you want! You. Are. Strong!!! Say it with me , SCREAM iT

[@randyandretti]

I was told it’s Relational-Trauma - nightmares, obsessive thoughts, a strong wish for revenge and intrusive triggers. I realize that’s not a mental health diagnosis but I think it fits.

[@nakeishahenry9261]

Me too

[@tiqazulaina7652]

The nightmares are the worst part, theyre often very reflective of what happened and our emotions associated with it… truly vivid

[@fl4bberg4sted]

Hey my problem is this obsessive thoughts What should i do?

[@bubbatrismegistus5038]

My marriage ended after MANY, MANY years. Believe me, it's traumatic and even though it's been years, I will never be the same. I'm not bitter anymore and I don't feel malice but the sorrow is wildly distressing still, at times.

[@simpleshoes]

Scott Smith I know exactly what you’re saying. After 25 years, it destroys the future you thought you had, and you question the validity of your entire existence with that person. You wonder if any of it was real.

[@bubbatrismegistus5038]

simpleshoes Exactly.

[@musiclover-tf6fu]

*I feel for you both... I went through the something and after 18 years of marriage I had to get out because of my selfish husband....... And 19 years on I often wonder had I been treated for Postnatal Depression after the birth of my first child.... Would our marriage have been better⁉️*

[@bubbatrismegistus5038]

music2306lover Possibly. It wouldn't have cured his selfishness however.

[@benharrison8604]

Oh God I am so sorry

[@RachyNoodleNest]

It's been a year since my 7 year relationship ended. It felt worse than a death. When someone dies, they haven't chosen to leave you. When someone ends the relationship with you, they chose to leave you. This alone caused me such distress. I still have dreams about the whole ordeal, have incredibly painful flashbacks and frantically seek answers about what I did wrong.

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.....

[@rokometer8]

How are you now

[@felixthecat4584]

I am going through what happened to you right now. It's only been about 9 months since it ended, and I still think about it daily and have intrusive thoughts. Suicide was even on the table for quite a while. The constant wondering what I did wrong and what is wrong with ME is awful. I hope you are doing better, and we can both heal eventually.

[@RachyNoodleNest]

@@felixthecat4584 hey, I just happened to see your reply and I don't usually reply to really old comments but with yours I wanted to. It's been nearly 3 years for me now and I'll be honest, I'm a whole lot better than I was when I wrote my comment on this video. You'll be fine but it does take a long time. I also thought about suicide but please trust me, that is not necessary. I'm now with someone new and have never been happier. I do think about my old life from time to time but it's not intrusive anymore. Good luck, you'll get through it x

[@ElliotKing-ci3uy]

This happened to me as well. I know your pain. It’s awful.

[@johannafechtel4301]

My childhood PTSD and my resulting fear of abandonment make every breakup almost unbearable for me and retraumatise me. EMDR and Yoga have helped me a lot, but I prefer being alone now over having any kind of relationship to another human being because being alone means that I will not be traumatised and triggered again. Thank you for this excellent video!

[@beautifulleeme782]

I am feeling this same way maybe I should stay alone that way I won't have to feel this sickness anymore...its taking a toll on my health because I'm grieving the loss of my mother and grandmother and my ex keeps leaving just because we argue over little things and when I try to look for a solution he just keeps shutting down and giving the silent treatment and talk about leaving me so I think I need to break away this time...he also has adhd

[@GG-ce8qv]

I’m starting EMDR for this how exactly did that therapy help you ?

[@Ruffiansea]

I had to aid in a situation in which there was a scenario where a male lied to his female girlfriend for a year and a half about being married. He hid it very well. In the end, the disclosure left her in a tailspin. She was in love and hoped to marry him. Years later, she is not the same. This was psychological damage inflicted upon her.

[@melissaperrotta1054]

This happened to me and years later, I’m still not over the trauma of it all. I have major trust issues and am haunted by my past.

[@evearcana2392]

@@melissaperrotta1054 Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even though it was me that left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@Zurvan101]

Being in a relationship with someone with NPD is extremely traumatic. I had all of the symptoms for almost a year.

[@katieb.9556]

General Public same here.

[@ellierose5208]

Yes. Extremely traumatic that can result in PTSD-like symptoms. Especially covert narcissism due to its hidden, insidious nature. Bottom line is that the DSM isn't the definitive source for all human behaviors.

[@shaggyalonso]

@@ellierose5208 This was my experience, I was completely blindsided by a sudden humiliating breakup done in public. She'd shown erratic behaviour before, but never this sudden callous, almost sadistic cruelty, like she was enjoying it. I walked away from it half disbelieving what had just happened, paranoid as to whether I'd just been conned by a psychopath. In the wake of it I've emotionally numbed out a lot, but when I actually confront the sheer nastiness of how she broke up with me and its total contrast to the image I had in my mind of her before that night, when I really think about it, and actually comprehend what happened to me, it's truly disturbing. It's lingered in my subconscious all this time since, nearly a year later.

[@zq5127]

With narcissists, the relationship easily becomes extremely toxic or abusive. I understand what you’re saying here. I hope you all are doing better now.

[@SharlenesJourney]

Same I’m struggling 😔

[@punkybrewstar83]

I think the problem is exactly as you described. All of these titles are just words. People with PTSD are identified as such in order to navigate the best way to manage and support the condition. If people who are suffering from mental illness felt validated and respected then nobody would care about the titles. It is just the fear of not qualifying for empathy and support, that drives people to want to have a particular diagnosis. People just want acknowledgement and help when they are suffering.

[@OtterMunchy]

that is a very well reasoned point. thank you for taking the time to make it.

[@michelemeriggi]

I very much disagree with this. Having a patient ask for a specific disorder is a huge red sign imo. People with ptsd dont rly want to have it lol. If everyone can get diagnosed with ptsd just by saying they have ptsd symptoms without really having the disorder then you are really undermining the validity of the diagnosis. Then it becomes just a way for insecure people to get the attention and emphathy that they so much crave.

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Your videos are phenominal! Thank you for making them!

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome :)

[@Zurvan101]

I've found them to be some of the best videos covering the cluster b personality disorders. Thank you.

[@sarahisstellina]

I would get PTSD if you broke up with me Dr. Grande

[@Nabooshlove7]

😂😂😂

[@ObserverOfFire]

🤣👍

[@mrswhite3513]

Omg .... I love that !!🤣😂

[@LaMaestra2102]

😂🤣😆 I think we'd all have PTSD if Dr Grande quit making videos.

[@OnsceneDC]

@@LaMaestra2102 I almost made the same comment! I love this crowd :)

[@katlakolikoko4210]

I was in a romantic relationship with one of my classmates when I was 16 years old (I'm 29 now). I would say the relationship was pretty destructive (I have BPD but I didn't know that back then) and we both had depression and self harming behaviors. I would often get really jealous and angry for seemingly no reason and though I knew our relationship probably wasn't healthy I could never imagine that they would leave me. When they did (we were together for about a year) it was the end of the world for me; I became suicidal, even more depressed and developed an eating disorder. I became so afraid of being in a relationship again, I got literal panic attacks when I saw romantic movies, I couldn't talk about my ex for like ten years, I avoided getting into close/romantic relationships for ten years, I had nightmares about them and about being dumped, and even to this day - thirteen years later I still have these nightmares even though not as often. And when I think about potentially running into them or seeing them I panic. I asked my doctor if it was possible to develop PTSD from a break up but he said that it wasn't. Maybe not PTSD but like Post Traumatic Heartbreak Disorder lol. But yeah.

[@ashpettit1022]

Look at CPTSD

[@hollyyogitarot]

I have been through divorce, bad break ups and I am in recovery after being victimized by a violent crime. I am respectful and sympathetic of breakups and divorce as traumatic. But, IMHO AND my first hand experience, heartbreak, bad break ups are NOT the same as fearing for your life. It's not. Thank you Dr. Grande! And thanks to all who are helping those who are suffering from such an awful condition.

[@figureoutstuffalltime1715]

I genuinely feared for my life. I was replaying memories and blaming, mainly towards myself. Living in my head non-stop. My whole world flipped over a nonsense text. I slept 2-4 hrs/night for 6 weeks straight. Some nights not at all. I often woke up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat. That went on for atleast 4 months and then on and of for about 9 months! I used to be really, really healthy. I'm not kidding you when I say I've been fighting for my life and extremely worried over my health! Still is!

[@dilara9676]

Talk about trauma bond, it feels like you are about to die...

[@ronearles1811]

Me and my ex wife went thru a loss of a son 2 weeks after birth. We also had a toxic relationship for 10 years. I didn't say we didn't love one another but our situation was toxic. Because of our shared trauma plus our own seperate mental issues being toxic. We had separated. There is ptsd based on seeing my wife again, missing my wife and the link we had in the loss of our son. So a break up depending on the link could result in ptsd. Its been 10 years since my divorce or since I've seen my ex wife. I still shudder at the question are you married? Oh you are divorced im sorry what happened. I hold back a tear everytime. Its tough on me a woman I loved I couldn't be with.

[@evearcana2392]

@@figureoutstuffalltime1715 Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even though it was me who left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@evearcana2392]

@@ronearles1811 Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even though it was me who left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@jenneast8611]

I went into an EXTREME depression after I was with a guy for about six months and it was stopped. But this was also after my mother had died and right before I became homeless. I cried for about a year solid. If it had been just the relationship, it would have been upsetting, but with the other things that happened it did trigger PTSD from my traumatic childhood. It doesn't help that I had severe to extreme depression most of my life.

[@evearcana2392]

Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even when I left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@uniquegod1997]

@@evearcana2392 Hey Karen, Gtf 0 of here and please stay 0ut. Dr Grande disrespects and dislikes "neuro"science and is sh1tting on it

[@Pasho1]

How are you doing now in general, does is get better?

[@jenneast8611]

@@Pasho1 It does. There are times it's really hard.

[@Pasho1]

@@jenneast8611 has your life improved from homelessness and mental health?

[@stephencarlsbad]

I wholeheartedly believe that you can get PTSD from a bad breakup.

[@KadrinaA]

stephencarlsbad me too I think I have it

[@bugglemagnum6213]

No

[@bugglemagnum6213]

@@KadrinaA no

[@erkaweberhooper3891]

absolutely not.

[@supernovax6867]

PTSD no, but trauma yes. I've know of some people who have trust issues, avoid relationships and seek hookups to not get hurt, lost a lot of weight, became bulimic, or even committed suicide after a breakup.

[@OnsceneDC]

I've had a marriage and a very serious relationship with two individuals who were completely deceptive and betrayed me on many levels. Both Cluster Bs. Having loved someone (in the case of my marriage) who I learned never really loved me to begin with because he has no empathy, and learning about all he did during our marriage to take advantage of me financially, etc as well as manipulate my friends and family was highly traumatic. In my other relationship I was pregnant and engaged to a man who was living a double life. I feel like these relationships deserve their own special category. You can get PTSD from the "narcissistic abuse" but learning about the complete betrayal of trust is yet another trauma! I think it's important to think about the fact that all breakups are different. These experiences can bring out horrible, manipulative, and abusive behavior. The nature of the relationship, the reactions of friends and family, disruptions in one's home life and family should all be considered.

[@ameliac7814]

I've definitely been thinking a lot about this recently. It seems like I've noticed so many young girls on social media, I'd say honestly like 25% of my facebook friends, claim to have PTSD. And I've wondered if the diagnosis has broadened from the typical profile of a war veteran or victim of a violent crime. It definitely shouldn't be a contest of who is more emotionally traumatized but I have just been a bit confused at the prevalence in young women recently. Thanks for helping to clear things up! 💙

[@LeetoLydia]

I know you wrote this a year ago, and are in a different headspace now...but if you still feel similarly, this might apply. There seem to be a lot of takers in the dating world. As a giver, it can exhaust you physically, mentally, emotionally, monetarily, and in so many other ways if healthy boundaries are not developed. Mine were not. I spent thousands on one ex while trying to get him on his feet. I don't know what his diagnosis would be, but he seemed like a true narcissist. The next guy after that wanted a casual relationship with no real ties. He asked to be friends after we had been saying "I love you" romantically for a few months. I wasn't sticking around to watch him sleep around. The next one was my friend and confidant who I poured my soul to, and he did the same thing...even after I told him I couldn't trust people very easily anymore. I have literally cried when there was a real prospect of a relationship, due to a fear of yet again losing someone else I open up to. Now I stay single, don't open myself up romantically, and just exist as a single lady with two cats. I think a lot of people don't know themselves, don't know or cannot "adult" (own a house, have a steady and reliable job, pay bills, be responsible, be accountable) due to a myriad of reasons, and nowadays, objects are valued and people are used.

[@uniquegod1997]

@@LeetoLydiaI am sorry to say this, but it seems you have Fear of commitment in relationships . It's an illness and can be mild to strong like cant going in a serious love dating relationship, which seems ur case. Hope you will get better amd please stay with this illness out of relationships, you can & hurt other men or people with this too. my first ex gf had this (luckily no serious relationship since only 16 years old and didnt feel anything)

[@LeetoLydia]

@@uniquegod1997 Don't worry. I'm done with romantic relationships. Most likely won't be in one again

[@uniquegod1997]

@@LeetoLydia thats sorry if this is ur final point of view but ofc its ur choice & ur life. hope someday you will find the right one

[@Sarah-ft8jr]

PTSD is a spectrum disorder I believe. Saying someone doesn’t have ptsd because it’s ‘only’ a breakup is like saying someone with a small cancer on their arm doesn’t have cancer. A breakup is like the death of a life you thought you had and would have forever. If you’ve been with someone 20 years, built a life, had a family with them etc then for that to suddenly come to a grinding halt and for that person to walk away and not be in your everyday life anymore is hugely traumatic and nobody not even someone who was the witness to a murder should ever minimise that.

[@FoodNerds]

Exactly it’s the death of the life you thought you would have or thought you would have in the future.

[@jcolvin2]

Traumatic breakups frequently result in prolonged depression, suicide, and occasionally violence up to and including murder, just as with actual PTSD. If it doesn't fit PTSD, then it needs its own DSM category, since it is under-diagnosed, and there is a general lack of intervention because of this.

[@chelseapoet3664]

I agree completely.

[@lisaariottiart]

Completely agree... for a neuro typical person pair bonding is a biological imperative ... depending on the strength of the emotional bond (ie., pathological co dependency) if it suddenly breaks off the flight or fight system probably recognizes the event as not only traumatic but life threatening. 😫

[@spicyyams9426]

Thank you so much for making this video. I went through an abrupt ending to what I presume was a mentally/emotionally abusive relationship 5 years ago. I had suffered from depression for many years prior but noticed my mental health and the way my symptoms would manifest changed a lot after that abrupt end to the relationship. I have always wondered if a lot of the irregularities I have been experiencing are trauma based. This video brings a lot of clarity on how to navigate these questions with a professional. Thank you!!!!!

[@vampireslayer1989]

My BPD Gaslighted and devalued me. Victims of Cluster B Abuse can get PTSD.

[@joycejnn]

Same happened to me

[@lisaariottiart]

@@joycejnn Same 😳

[@evearcana2392]

Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even when I left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@evearcana2392]

@@joycejnn Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even when I left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@evearcana2392]

@@lisaariottiart Hey love, try Neurofeedback therapy for your depression. KZbin search Neurofeedback and watch a few videos on it. I started Neurofeedback after watching Dessa’a Tedtalk on Neurofeedback, search for “Dessa TedTalk Neurofeedback “ here on KZbin and watch her story and see her outcome which you can have too so that you can move on with your life & not suffer emotionally or mentally. I had to do Neurofeedback to get over my 10-year relationship, even when I left him. For 4 years after the breakup I struggled everyday with depression, anxiety and PTSD. But after finding & doing the Neurofeedback therapy - I feel SO much better and the results are life long & permanent. Please look into it- you don’t have to suffer! Best of luck to you! You’re loved and blessed!

[@lisx9688]

After being married for 10 years I went through horrifying betrayal by my husband and 6 years later I still wake up in tears sometimes reliving this whole thing. New relationship absolutely terrify me..

[@mollypowell196]

Dr. Grande, I could just sit and chat with you all day! I’ve been with my husband since 1976 & Dad married us in 1979 so I don’t even like to think of life without him.

[@jcas9948]

Wow been married 43 ,

[@teresabailey7874]

I feel that I had a form of PTSD, when I left my husband last March. I would be fine one minute, and sobbing the very next if I was reminded, somehow, of how my husband treated or abused me. There were several instances of what I considered to be extreme abuse, when I was with him. Once, when we both drove semi truck, as team drivers, I hurt my back. I could not walk or move without pain. I asked my husband to stop at a clinic, but he refused for 5 days, screaming at me that it wasn't physically possible to see to my problems because we had a job to do. We had loads to deliver, and I would just have to wait. I ended up waiting 5 days, with no way out. We were over a thousand miles away from home. I could not get up and walk away. Technically, at that point, I felt like a prisoner. I could feel a large lump on my lower spine, and the movement of the truck constantly jostled me around, causing more pain. On the 5th day, we arrived at a company terminal, and I knew there was a physician available. I ended up having to walk to the doctor's office by myself, as my husband left me, saying he had to take care of the truck and turn in the paperwork. I remember my arms shaking, struggling to lean against any railing or wall nearby, and working very hard not to cause a scene. When I finally reached the Doctor, I broke down. It were as if my whole psyche just fell apart. The Doctor kept her professional demeanor, and determined through x-ray, that I had a herniated disc. She chastised me for even being in the truck with the injury, and put me on a two week leave. She gave me some muscle relaxants, some strong Ibuprofen, and found my husband and gave him instructions as to my care. Well! Suddenly my husband was sweet as pie! He rented a car and drove me to Florida, dropped me off at a relative's house, and left to go back to the truck. Now, this is only one instance, but anytime I have to retell the story, my heart rate goes up, and tears well up. I don't like to think of that particular memory, but what hurt even more, was his lack of empathy, and the fact that he didn't give a damn about my welfare. Not unless someone was a witness, anyway. I am getting better now. I don't cry as much as I used to when I was with him. Matter of a fact, I feel almost normal, now that he and I rarely talk to one another! And as soon as I get a divorce, those rare texts and talks will disappear, because I want him totally out of my life!

[@Catssandra13]

Thank you Dr. Grande. Your videos have clarified so much for me, and I only wish I could find a doctor like you. Someone who really understands and gets it, instead of me trying so hard to make someone understand what I've gone through and am going through. But meanwhile I am grateful to have found your channel. Keep up the great work.

[@Nabooshlove7]

Hey Dr. Todd Grande, great video here it was a very interesting to hear that a bad breakup could make previous symptoms worse. Definitely makes sense. I was wondering if you have considered making a video about empathic people, it would be great to hear your take and clicincal opinion/advice on. Love your channel!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you :) - I have a few videos on empathy in the works and one ready to be released in the next few days.

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

I was in a car accident (hit by a car) at the age of 7 and I developed PTSD after that. From my experience the symptoms of PTSD do not line up with the devastating feelings of a bad breakup. These are two different presentations altogether. Outstanding as always!❤️

[@cabooseabs6864]

It also is hugely dependent on each individual. Some people can survive terrible combat situations and not develop ptsd while others may develop symptoms from incidents most would not find as traumatic. I do completely understand why a combat veteran would feel insulted by someone claiming ptsd from a breakup.

[@Desertphile]

Best to avoid romance completely.

[@trinity6764]

I avoid straight men . Problem solved . 👍😆

[@Desertphile]

@@trinity6764; Women avoid me, so that solves my "problem" also.....

[@trinity6764]

@@tonyburton419 That's true ☺ Could be . ☺

[@trinity6764]

@@Desertphile Are you sure they do? ☺

[@ellebelle6439]

Definitely

[@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091]

Just call it PBSD..Post Breakup Stress Disorder. Say it really fast, people with hear PTSD and offer the same sympathy. It has all the hallmark symptoms of traditional PTSD with the addition of spontaneous homicidal impulses. :)

[@saradraperwessels]

LMAO

[@OtterMunchy]

nice. that was both poignant and funny.

[@jannettb7930]

Not all breakups are a failure. Relationships can run a course and end, and even if it doesn't feel great at the time, it doesn't mean anyone failed. A lot of people seem to think that unless a relationship lasts for the entire remaining lifetime of the participants, it's a failed relationship. I think that can really negate the positive aspects of the relationship experiences and cause more pain and feelings of self doubt than necessary. Also, it can keep people in relationships that are no longer functioning or even safe because they don't want to fail

[@justatexasgirl5583]

It was shocking how long it took for me to be diagnosed with PTSD. My child died in my arms when I was home alone (she had an undiagnosed heart condition and died of heart failure). After that, about a month later I discovered my husband had been cheating on me for years (he was extremely emotionally and mentally abusive) and our marriage broke apart. By then, I was pregnant with his child again. So, divorced but 18 years of continuous abuse (he wouldn’t let me be happy). No psychiatrist EVER put all that together to help me understand why I had such anxiety reactions to certain things. Understanding, PTSD helped me to work on myself.

[@vekonkisciganfiju]

I lost my first childhood love to a guy I knew. We were both first for each other.We fell in love and we kissed a LOT. Long story short it was an arranged marriage & the parents ripped us apart. I couldn’t see her for years unless we bumped into each other. She got divorced.She’s my wife for 24 years now, because we both knew we meant to be.I’m still struggling with all of this deeply. With how & why they put us through this, and a huge amount of retroactive jealousy for losing her to someone else. I truly believe that this is a PTSD and way more important issue than most people think.

[@bethanyfury1209]

I'm so glad you addressed this. It's important you clarified that this is much different when there is no violence. I'd say stalking would fall under the 'violence' as they often go together and it's not average break up behavior.

[@lilymcallister9751]

Interesting subject. Great work as always Dr. Grande.

[@DrGrande]

Thank you :)

[@lorenfulghum2393]

sounds to me like the DSM criteria are too narrow. I still suffer from nightmares almost every night following spending a year homeless on the streets of NYC. From the sound of what you outlined, this would be too diffuse a stressor to qualify for textbook ptsd, but i definitely experience recurring, unprovoked stress reactions directly traceable to that time.

[@gmcfiftythreee]

Just the part where you said “he thinks he sees her in public”. Ive literally seen this woman in public when looking at people and they were not there. Ive even seen faces and thought it was her. It sucks man. I hope anyone who relates to this video, can get better. I am proud of you guys just for watching this video. Have a good day. Im serious. Make sure you eat, get plenty of sleep, keep busy, etc. . You are loved💙

[@doowop54]

this reminded me of the writer Dave Cullen - who in excellent book on Parkland mentioned that he suffered PTSD from the years he spent researching and writing his Columbine book.

[@kam0406]

Very interesting. But I can imagine that one would develop this after being submerged in such a terrible, horrific, true life event.

[@LaMaestra2102]

You're a good soul, Dr Grande. ❤

[@garysmith6915]

Another great video analogy. My wife left me after 21 years of marriage two teenage kids. Devastating. To me and my kids. She has an affair and somehow gets half my pension too...which I did not even contribute to. That was 6 years ago. I doubt I will ever get over it, but I just try to find meaning. With kids grown and I’m alone it’s hard. It surely feels PTSD like. It never goes away, but subsided at times in which I am grateful. I don’t think I need that diagnosis as long as a counselor can have compassion, understanding, and willingness to help.

[@mireilleblacke6567]

Perhaps it's the term "romantic breakup" that is the issue here. For those people who have endured and survived the "discard" from pwNPD, the emotional and psychological abuse experienced over the course of the relationship would often qualify as traumatic. It's the entire process with that person (idealize, devalue, discard, repeat), not just the "breakup." That would imply an end-point and closure; unfortunately that is a mercy many of us are not given when dealing with pwNPD.

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.......

[@rileyf.8641]

I'm a young male that got caught up with a narcissistic, sociopathic woman. She was very hurtful pyscologically and would say just about anything to break me down, and separate me from my family. She would self harm herself badly around me. She would run away claiming I was the cause to all her problems and that I was the one that made her want to kill herself. On one instance she barricaded me in our apartment against my will, with the threat of screaming rape or assault. Evil, evil woman. I would hate going into public because I never knew how she was going to behave. Dealt with the police numerous times. I found out she had bipolar disorder. Combined with the fact that she was a sociopathic was incredibly hard. It's been 3-4 years now and the flashbacks of the self harm and gas lighting still come back at times very intensely. To the point where it fully overwhelms me. Shaking. Flashbacks. Intrusive thoughts. So although I'm not sure just a break up can cause ptsd, a lengthy abusive relationship can sure create traumatic reoccurring experiences. If you see red flags early on, your not being an asshole for leaving, YOUR PROTECTING YOURSELF. This goes for men and woman a like.

[@grannydoe9536]

Another interesting video. Thank you. I can see how the PTSD could be related to a romantic breakup. Also feel the romantic break up fits into other categories, additional category not needed.

[@tumelozar]

Today on this day after 11months since I was left behind. I realized I have been suffering from break up trauma

[@melodymacken9788]

Excellent vid. Such an individual thing. Thankyou Dr.

[@brittaolson6550]

What do you think of the large number of people now diagnosing their partners and exes with Narcissistic Personality Disorder? I have been through some horrendous abuse but, at the same time, I have a hard time believing there are THAT many people with that exact disorder. Would love to hear your opinion.

[@alibre4484]

If your intimate partner tries to take your life...I'd go with the PTSD.

[@highway39]

To me The DSM 5 is the cuprate. C-PTSD as it is being defined by Pete Walker is an unrecognized diagnosis. He referred to someone else who said if C-PTSD was in the DSM the DSM would the size of a pamphlet. I am reading the book "C-PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" currently. Though I have only 1st yr psychology I am an expert in the area of my own trauma history. 2yrs old Major life threatening surgery. Abandonment issues attachment issues. Both parents used alcohol a lot. Dad was a workaholic. Mom was emotionally spent from her own trauma history. She was out of gas when I her last child came along. 13-Dad died. Caused significant trauma (no psychological treatment whatsoever. Used marijuana and alcohol to self medicate.) There was an attempted murder at 37yrs old brought me to within 1mm of my life (doctor wrote in victims report) The whole time in between as you can imagine there were significant trauma and just a bunch of bad choices and circumstances...though at some point I managed to get a university degree. Over all diagnosed in 2004 with PTSD. I am reading Walker's book and the symptomology of C- PTSD describes a lot of what I seem to be experiencing. The causal factors line up. Although there was no outright abuse there were some things that happened that could have easily engaged the inner critic with some real devaluing commentary. One therapist (though not a diagnoser) suggested I expressed traits comparable.to BPD ... that even furthered.my suspicion that I have C-PTSD. And I know Dr. Grande you would never diagnose me here... I wanted to share a rough overview of my life. I am curious: Can you talk about how C-PTSD will or will not make it into future DSM editions?

[@highway39]

@@oksanaml9279 I have heard of him his. I tend to stick to folks like the good Dr. Grande and Dr. Fox and I keep a pretty active presence in the local mental health community. I will check him out zi also listen to Audio books I find online. One thing I am learning is that it just is not cut and dried. There are so many moving parts in the form of traits and what shapes them and all of it. Happy to have such resources. Ironically it can give me a head and neck ache too. Thanks for your comment fellow KZbinr!

[@Bar_Bar27]

It's CPTSD not PTSD. There's a lot of difference I believe. Its ongoing trauma if one dated a personality disordered person (to which I'm sure you know. You talk about it a lot here in you channel). The trauma is not only due to emotional and mental abuse but also because of how it's so much different from your values and the way you see the world. This kind of a relationship changes the way you view the world, it destroys the things you believed in before, to the point that you don't know what's real anymore and what's not. The trauma is more because you can't understand what's happening and what happened. You have no answers so the trauma stays in your mind and body. Yes, one can get CPTSD after a break up. But not from a break up with a non disordered person. I won't try to explain it to people who never experienced it, its pointless and I don't care if they get offended by it or make fun of it. It's very real.. people develop mental illnesses because of it, some take their own lives because they never heard about such things. I don't know what I would do if I had never heard of it, I'm not even sure if I was still alive today. This explains a lot of what happened to me throughout my life and why I am the way I am today. I have CPTSD. Mainly from childhood but I was involved with personality disordered people and it only made it worse. But I got some answers now so I can deal with it and find solution.

[@rapunzelmane9592]

Yes, Cognitive Dissonance is the real fallout from Covert Narcissistic Abuse.

[@ForzaTerra89]

I broke up with a borderline and it’s been almost three months ans it does interfere with my ability to function. How are you now? I feel genuinely traumatised, it’s hugely impacted my life and it’s so invalidated

[@ForzaTerra89]

ShadowMoses 002 I left but if I didn’t I think it was coming I did EMDR and I’m a LOT better now. I’d strongly recommend it. Talk therapy did nothing for me. The flashbacks were the worst part but the EMDR made them go away and I’ve been able to regain my sense of self from it

[@ForzaTerra89]

ShadowMoses 002 honestly I wouldn’t even hesitate. It’s given me my life back. I tried medication and it made me so much worse and I got side effects etc. I was heading down a very severe depression with constant severe flashbacks and it really has saved my life

[@violetlove1893]

I dont think it matters what anyone else says, hon. You went thru some traumatic events and that was real. To hell with those who don't understand. I dont have the psychiatric diagnosis of PTSD but i know i have some type of PTSD because of the molestation, abuse, repeated rapes, and the emotional and mental and verbal abuse from ex partners. I dont trust anybody and that's a sad thing to say. I wish you the best and the most wholesome healing. *hugs*

[@paulpatrulescu9976]

I'd rather take a beating from 10 guys than to have my heart broken from a partner any day, but you make some good points Dr. Grande on this topic. Loss is part of life and it's a subject rarely covered in school.

[@mannyt4319]

Thats why you should put your self first. ......Not in a selfish way .Its called self care.

[@franmellor9843]

Good point haven't we all seen somebody go to pieces ,close or even had a near breakdown such a sorrowful situation ...terrible

[@1974jrod]

Breaking up is hard to do. Neil Sadaka!

[@CaitlinBloodyMary]

An interesting discussion that I believe is extremely complex. My partner was killed while on deployment in Afghanistan and as expected I suffered terribly afterward. I began developing many symptoms that mimicked PTSD, including, but not limited to, flashbacks of being informed and terror of ringing phones, nightmares of him being killed, survivors guilt, insomnia, and self-destructive behaviour, particularly surrounding alcohol (but 10 months sober now!). These symptoms all began to worsen when I started dating again and I became terrified of people leaving me, which lead to a diagnosis of BPD, which was then changed as I didn't quite fit that bill either as my fear of abandonment was all linked to the fear of someone I loved leaving and something terrible happening to them once they did. Personally, I believe what I had was different from BPD or PTSD and was far more complex. I know it wasn't quite a 'break-up' but I needed more than an incorrect BPD diagnosis to help me through the symptoms and I think there should absolutely be some sort of middle ground for people that suffer through the symptoms of PTSD as I did.

[@Cognitoman]

Where was he stationed at ?

[@yourenough3]

Another great and informative video. Thanks Dr G.

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome :)

[@karliegilbert3917]

I don’t know. My relationship of 11 years ended was pretty traumatizing to me. It’s all I knew since I was 17. I don’t even know the full factors looking back. Everything was just dysfunctional but that’s all I knew from childhood. Now I can barely function at 31. Constant anxiety and panic attacks. My life just isn’t the same.

[@MrBungle900]

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me suddenly when I was just starting out at college. I couldn’t sleep for a week. I couldn’t eat. I began abusing alcohol and drugs. Eventually a deep depression consumed me and I attempted suicide several times. I had to quit college because she was there as well and I couldn’t concentrate anyway. I spent the next decade spiralling into addiction. So yeah, I believe an event like this can definitely traumatise a person. I still cannot have a successful relationship today because of the psychic wound this has caused me.

[@scarlett-belle1448]

In the UK, they seem to dish the diagnosis out mistakenly, I wonder if that is because we have caught up with America. Yep, we now have our very own PTSD expert at a large hospital. Excellent ,as usual , Doc. Thank you.

[@phoenixablaze7809]

Cannot get enough of your videos! So intriguing!!

[@melisamorris2858]

I truly believe that you can have PTSD from a horrible breakup/relationship. I dated a guy 3 years ago and it was terrible. I did not realize that he was a narcissistic/psychopath. I had never heard of it until after our breakup. He love bombed/gaslighting me for the first 3 months and everything seemed great. But after that it became extremely abusive. Dr. Grande what would your analysis be on my situation? I greatly enjoy all of your videos. Thank God I ended it with him. My life is so much better now.

[@etzenhammer]

This last breakup I had is more devastating than everything I experienced in life.. my mother died early from dementia, my first wife had serious bone cancer, I was in psychiatry for depression, lost my job... but this breakup is so terrible, I was on the verge of giving up more than once. It's serious.

[@zq5127]

If the relationship or breakup became abusive, ptsd makes sense. What defines that is definitely a grey area and people have to figure that out with professionals while getting help. I think people have to differentiate between life experiences being difficult and potentially scarring vs life-threatening traumatic experiences. I’ve been very badly scarred by certain friendships and close relationships, but the effect of those is not at all the same as my experiences surviving war and fearing for my and my family’s lives. Not better or worse, not easier or harder between the two. They’re necessarily different experiences. With war, it was literally life or death for us. Some relationships can simulate life or death circumstances, but that’s why we have the term abuse. That’s also why complex trauma is a helpful idea. But the singular event of a heartbreaking breakup, given the rest of the relationship had a ‘normal’ set of ups and downs, very rarely constitutes a traumatic event (though obv, like dr. Grande stated, it can easily exacerbate existing disorders)

[@fluxpistol3608]

Thanks doc you’re amazing! What about CPTSD?

[@DrGrande]

I am working on a CPTSD video - the video still in the early stages of development -

[@fluxpistol3608]

Dr. Todd Grande awesome 👏!

[@tkyoth3txg3r78]

Dr G. Could you please clarify what you mean by "violence" at the start of this video please. Ie domestic violence usually includes psychological abuse, and in cases of solely psychological abuse, this is still classed as domestic violence. Do you mean only physical violence/harm?

[@annluckiesh5251]

I think the issue here is that the PTSD definition requires more correlation to specific past occurrences, like the house fire example, than it does to the manifested specific symptoms in the patient in the present. I think think the trigger is far less important than the severity of PTSD symptoms to the patient in the present. A person could be shot at, in a terrible car accident etc. without lasting PTSD symptoms. That same person could have PTSD symptoms emerge through divorce, jail, verbal abuse, stalking, workplace abuse or your romance example. Therefore the definition of the triggers should be broadened.

[@whoever6458]

I think you actually came up with a good way to distinguish the PTSD-like suffering from something like a break up from classical PTSD and that is whether the event that caused the pain is practically avoidable or not. Perhaps a person could avoid combat (provided they aren't active members of the military or they're too old to be drafted even if we did institute the draft again). However, there are some things that cause pain but are virtually unavoidable for a human being, like getting into a relationship or having other issues with the things involved in simply being human being. These are the things that it doesn't make sense for a counselor to tell someone to avoid, even though we all know that there's a lot of pain involved in just being a living human being. So I would think that perhaps the kinds of pain that can't be avoided because of the very nature of one's existence, whether or not those things are life-threatening, might be better classified as existential traumas as part of a larger existential crisis. I do think that existential crises aren't necessarily a bad thing but I also think that they require counseling or they have the potential to turn into bad things. Dealing with PTSD seems like helping people deal with things that are exceedingly horrible with the acknowledgement that it would be better if such situations and experiences didn't exist. The existential trauma is helping people deal with the notion that life is suffering and I don't know if there would be any way for anyone to conceive of a world in which these kinds of painful things didn't exist. So while we can agree that the things of existential crises suck, they are things that are also fundamental parts of what it means to exist as human beings. Then there's also the notion that everyone has places where they struggle that other people look at as being easy things. It's kind of like how it would be better to find a way to treat the underlying disease but sometimes all you can do is treat the symptoms. When you think about something like a viral illness and the only description is "flu-like symptoms," it could be literally hundreds of different viruses causing those sorts of symptoms but all we can do is treat the symptoms regardless of which virus is causing the infection. Sure, some viruses are more deadly and some have symptoms that are slightly different or cause different effects later on, but they've still not managed a better way to describe the symptoms other than calling them flu-like symptoms.

[@joanlynch5271]

What about bullying and emotional abuse, can that lead to PTSD?

[@s0ftbby346]

Attie’s Mom I guess I have that..

[@LoveIsBlind-wi3cg]

Very interesting, thank you. I have sometimes wondered if PTSD would be better characterised by the severity of the symptoms, (by e.g 'type 1'/'type 2'). It occurs to me that a person could be experiencing things that fit with a PTSD diagnosis but still be able to function while another person is completely crippled and quite literally a shaking wreck from dawn to dusk. Perhaps the intensity of the physiological symptoms might be a more useful criteria in any future sub-categorisation of PTSD regardless of the cause. (Just an idea off the top of my head!)

[@angela450nyc]

I have experienced both a bad breakup and a terror attack. The symptoms I felt after each were very similar (almost identical) and took just as long to dissipate, but one difference was I never felt extreme fear for my life during the break up as I did during the terror attack. Perhaps that is where the line is drawn. I also remember the flashbacks of the terror attack being much more vivid and would come on very suddenly, where the break up flashbacks seemed to come only when I would start to think about it. Lastly, until this day, there are certain sounds and scents that can temporarily bring back the feeling of fear during the attack, while I have never heard a sound or smelled anything that made me think of the break up.

[@Anastashya]

I’m not sure what to say really. Mentally I just can’t see a breakup as the same as a life threatening situation. I could list hundreds of reasons why, but I won’t. I could see the loss of a loved one via a breakup being equal to an extremely painful bereavement with a long grieving process with symptoms that mimic PTSD, but I’m sorry Dr Grande. One would need to be objective to think this way, and I can’t be. Thank you though. It’s interesting and sad as to what “can” happen to some people after a breakup. Have a lovely day ☺️

[@B_A_whole]

I agree with you. I think the part where he said it exacerbates underlying issues is the real answer.

[@Zurvan101]

Could you possibly do a video on the causes, similarities and differences between PTSD and NPD?

[@jclcrow2621]

I experienced extended severe familial trauma and abuse for at least ten years as a child. Each failed relationship triggered extreme emotional reactions similar to the flashbacks, dreams, and avoidant behaviors that my early life trauma triggered. So I would say yes definitely relationship breakups can trigger PTSD symptoms in some people.

[@tonibates6227]

My breakup was 2 years ago and although I’m over the person and have accepted it and no longer miss the person I have changed so much as a person, in a negative way. I avoid anything that reminds me of him (even small things like McDonald’s) anything that reminds me of that period in my life makes me feel really sick . It’s hard because i can’t just live a normal life anymore . I don’t know how to rewire my brain so those things no longer remind me of him/that period of my life. It’s really really affected me and changed my life , as I say in a negative way

[@brianwang1173]

I think your comments that there are not enough people in this category of those suffering the traumatic PTSD like symptoms from break up and loss shows that it is not that these people do not exist but that you and your industry don’t actually do a very good job of recognizing them in their existence.

[@constantinandro684]

Can you speak about the EMDR therapy. Very interesting treatment for PTSD or the fact that it may help for other disorders.

[@nikkic83]

Constantin Andro EMDR does help PTSD and it is very interesting 👍

[@constantinandro684]

@@nikkic83 I don't have PTSD but I suffer from chronic stress and intrusive thoughts that doesn't let me fall asleep and I found that EMDR works wonders, it doesn't require training/work like meditation. And what I also found from a subjective perspective but also from a heart rate monitor that it's more effective with increasing stress, where meditation may not help or make things worse even.

[@Nunyahbidniss]

Lost my fiancé to another man during COVID lockdowns because state to state travel was prohibited I miss her so much. Just found out she got married it’s like day 1 all over again. I miss her so much.

[@malabuha]

This one is so complex.. when you go into depth of human nautre..those who have kids probably noticed, when you raised a tone of your voice for the first time, not shouting, not yelling, just slightly raised your voice at a small child, they got emotionally hurt so badly, cried, gasped for air, when to us it seemed as a really no big deal (or maybe it's only my kids... and me :( that's how fragile we are.. What if in the case of a break up trauma, the patient may be right to insist on the PTSP diagnosis? What if such a severe trauma points to a vunerability indicative of a deeper issue, when it goes that far? Then, looking into PTSP can be a fair diagnosis. That individual had to have a prior vunerability which amplified the loss into a severe trauma, PTSP? Maybe that prior condition is what amplifies other relatively 'normal' everyday experiences into challenges that the individual has to deal with on a daily basis. It's just an idea. Another idea is that the patient is exaggerating and looking for acknowledgement through sympathy, or has something to gain by the diagnosis, like break from work, or social benefits, which all indicate of some sort of issues

[@devingale6628]

Thanks again Dr Grande. I was wondering if you could make a video on where people with secondary psychopathy traits end up later in life. Especially those that don’t necessarily care about performance in school, and are very against working a job. Thanks!

[@DalCecilRuno]

Break ups are distressful, sad and difficult to handle. It can be treated for sure, but it is not a reason for PTSD. Now, if the break up involves any form of violence, that's another story. Not everything that happens is a cause for mental disorders.

[@shaggyalonso]

What about abuse? For me it's the intent of the party who's caused harm that is crucial - if someone maliciously, vindictively and cruelly verbally abuses someone and discards them (especially if done without warning, and perhaps in public), that is traumatising.

[@FoodNerds]

The story about the 25 year old man sounds like me only I’m a woman. The scenario is the same. Years later I am permanently scarred. I have a fiancé but nothing has hurt like this PTSD except for my father’s abuse. I love my fiancé. He’s a great guy.

[@solvewithwinnie]

Great video Dr Grande

[@SydneyWest]

Can't PTSD be seen on brain scans? So, if someone suffered any severe traumatic event if brain scans show suffering how can it be argued. Ppl have committed suicide over bad breakups.

[@5fingerjack]

In the case of kids who suffer it during brain development, maybe. Otherwise, likely not. The point here isn't to mimimize the experience of a bad breakup, but to name it correctly so it gets the correct treatment. He mentions classifying it as depression and/or anxiety.

[@SydneyWest]

Two Finger Jack My point is you don’t have to rely on a mental health professional to classify what is PTSD. They do that now with brain scans.

[@5fingerjack]

@@SydneyWest Do they? In my diagnosis class that was not mentioned.

[@SydneyWest]

@Two Finger Jack, yes I’ve heard/read it is possibly.

[@zq5127]

There is overlap in the neurological symptoms of some disorders, if I understand it correctly (I am not an expert or mental health professional). There is no way to scan for a mental illness definitively. The scans are part of research to help develop treatment and understanding of conditions, but no one gets their brain scanned for a diagnosis because these disorders have psychosocial, cognitive, and other additional components.

[@calamitynatalie8590]

A bit unrelated, but would a person who suffered childhood trauma but it wasn’t life threatening still qualify for a diagnosis of ptsd?

[@ellebelle6439]

Cptsd yes

[@makeitrayne4511]

For me the trauma wasn't the breakup itself as much as it was a smear campaign made against me after I left. I was ostracized and had very little support. It's been 6 years and I find it incredibly hard to trust people and I haven't sought any friendships since.

[@teresanolivo4075]

Betrayal walking in on him with another woman. And you lived with him.

[@FoodNerds]

Oh God I’m so sorry!

[@betanialacoste7945]

My Narcissist sibling accused me of giving him ptsd with my facial expressions. He claimed he could interpret my expressions and mind read me beyond my objection & negation of his attempted interpretation. He insisted I apologise for my facial expressions thirty years afterward when first confronting me; following his first few sessions of psychotherapy. His mother is, also, emotional muncheasan's syndrome by proxy, at home & within the field.

[@redcookie4478]

I'm here because something is happening to me... one year ago I had my heart broken and now i'm behaving really wierd. I avoid public places and leaving the house during the day for fear of meeting him. every thought of him is causing unbearable pain and uncontrolled self-harm to distract from those thoughts. I can't stand his sound of his name. Nobody takes me seriously. This is a joke to my sister... I don't know what i should do

[@prettymess1119]

A bad breakup with my childs father gave me depression initially. After 8 years I still have ruminating thoughts and IBS.

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣........

[@brentwilbur]

The following is not entirely factual; much of it is my supposition: The areas of our brains that deal with processing love and loss, pain and trauma are ancient. The structures have been there for easily a hundred-million years. They do not arise after the individual experience of trauma. They are encoded in our genes. We are built to expect the experience of stress. Few westerners experience the types of traumatic stress involved in prehistoric wilderness survival. I'm convinced our brains will take whatever stresses are present and amplify them until they max out our stress-processing centers. Like a gas expanding to fill its container. The only way to diminish one type of pain is to experience a greater one to put the first into perspective.

[@Nabooshlove7]

I can see your side on this it's like when something on your body is hurting you and its a annoying chronic pain and then you like break a bone or something and forget about the other pain but i think if you don't address the pain it will never really go away...

[@brentwilbur]

Lulu, you're right. One pain certainly does not immunize you against another pain. Neither can greater pain cure you of lesser. It has only been my experience that the former has a tendency to muffle, though in no way silence, the latter.

[@lindag3650]

I do enjoy your talks. I find them interesting & helpful. I’ve become more interested in psychology since listening to you & also since we have our current President in place. He’s very frightening to me.

[@DeyvsonMoutinhoCaliman]

From sadness alone I would never get PTSD, but some psycho staking you in a threatening manner no doubt could do it. Even when it's a woman, because you can't defend yourself against a woman, since she can play the victim and accuse you instead, so you have to sustain abuse without complaining. All the time people say "we should have compassion for people with mental disorders", but people with mental disorders have no compassion to people that have to deal with them.

[@brumbarche]

I read a war veteran testimony of his many returns from ptsd inducing events, however, he said that there's nothing more traumatic and emotionally flash-back inducing to more helpless hell than war - it was his wife's infidelity, due to the security his life was placing into this relationship. He says that he'd go over anything he previously though he wouldn't - witnessing deaths and all that causes him sleepless nights, but the infidelity of his wife and the avalanche of emotional life-impacts this resulted in. Maybe you should make a video (if you haven't yet) about infidelity caused PTSD from relationships where the receiver of the trauma was actually invested fully and without backdoors to keep one foot out of the rship. What are your thoughts?

[@ForzaTerra89]

I dated someone with BPD and it was hell by the end and it’s been hell ever since, it’s hard moving on. There’s a lot of suffering involved

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣........

[@lisaariottiart]

Agreed! Especially if you are a secure person and had to make your own conclusions that you partner is clinically unstable.

[@ForzaTerra89]

@@lisaariottiart it made me unstable too. I’d say I’m over what happened now and I feel removed from it but it became very destructive for me too. It really did overwhelm me for a long time and caused a lot of hurt and pain I didn’t think was humanly possible to feel

[@lisaariottiart]

@@ForzaTerra89 The learning curve is massive when you bounce out of those situations. Glad you made thru. It means the best is yet to come because we have free will and will Never choose that again. 🙏🏻👊🏻🙌🏻

[@ForzaTerra89]

@@lisaariottiart yes. I walked away when I really did love my ex partner and I knew it was going to hurt. I didn’t know just how much but forcing yourself to break that bond is necessary if that person just isn’t good for you. I’d hate to think how I’d feel right now had I not left

[@michellerose7591]

Very insightful thank you 🙏

[@katieb.9556]

Yes, all of those clinical signs can show up if the relationship was abusive.

[@michaelandpandorawan227]

Excellent!

[@robhalfordblog]

I was diagnosed with PTSD after an extreme rejection and abandonment by my entire friend group. Friends I had been extremely close to for over 5 years. They were like family to me. One day they one by one broke off contact with me and never talked to me again. I desperately tried to contact them but was ignored. Some never gave an explanation. It was sudden, scary, and I was full of grief. I had severe depression already, but this felt different. I felt numb and disassociated. A year later I was diagnosed with PTSD from it. I have nightmares still three years later about it, reoccurring. In all of them I am either running into them and we are reuniting, or they are rejecting me. Of course, in my diagnosis, the counselor said that emotional abuse from my dad was also part of it, but I don't think I had PTSD before that specific abandonment period. The emotional abuse fucked me up, but I only have PTSD symptoms from that abandonment.

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.........

[@lisaariottiart]

This happened to me by family members.... who does this??? People have there own reasons that we will never know for disappearing. I like the saying You Rejection is God's Protection.

[@Keepedia99]

I think if people after a break up believe they are suffering from clinically significant distress and seek out a therapist with trauma related symptoms and the treatment would be trauma related, then there should be a trauma related diagnosis available to them. A few points in response to your video: (A) While we do recommend that traumatized veterans not reenter combat, we don't recommend that people traumatized by domestic/normal car accidents never use a car again. That's because in the first case, we were able to predict that an environment was very likely to retraumatize, and the activity was not essential to the patient's present day functioning. (B) Combat veterans and accident/violence survivors feeling offended by the expansiveness of the current diagnosis is a result of the society viewing the PTSD diagnosis favourably and should not constitute a valid reason to not acknowledge the potential trauma of a breakup. We have, as a society, told these people that their symptoms are "not their fault" and their traumatization is "real". The focus of what qualifies as trauma should be what symptoms and treatment approaches can be grouped, not what is acceptable to be sad about or hard to live around because of. (C) I think PTSD is a hugely underserving diagnosis and there needs to be a better description of trauma related illnesses in the DSM. An important related question is a trauma diagnosis for abused children (and possibly also domestic abuse). We have an array of "symptomatic" illnesses such as depersonalisation/derealization and DID (I might include ODD, DMDD) which are pretty well known to be a result of traumatization and treated with trauma therapy, but the DSM rejected a Developmental Trauma Disorder and I think also C-PTSD which I think it later became. Is this in your experience a sizeable population of people seeking therapy? Do you think this would be a useful diagnosis? (D) I do also wonder about larger more systematic traumatizations at a sociological level. I suppose distress tends to be subclinical (but that is also because of what causes we think are normal/abnormal enough to seek a therapist), but how do you feel about the argument that the hypervigilance of a young woman walking alone at night be considered a result of trauma? A lot of sociology tends to talk in these terms, with neither a yes nor no nod from psychology.

[@cloudrot4955]

after a very bad breakup i went into a deep depression and the person was still very much there around me constantly giving me stress and after two years i'm constantly having unwanted memories everyday and experience panic attacks when directly reminded of something that reminds me of them or something to do with them.. and this person was constantly gaslighting me .. what is this then?

[@florencearnold9045]

This could get very dicey with BPD-?. Wouldn't a diagnosis of PTSD following a romantic breakup in these cases feed a victim narrative and bypass addressing abandonment issues?

[@B_A_whole]

If you read carefully you see a lot of that in the comments.

[@GG-ce8qv]

I think I have this! It’s been 13 years and I have emotional flashbacks. I’m starting EMDR and hoping to overcome this stuck

[@maximhollandnederlandthene7640]

You can see it as the same Relationships with narcissistic partner can be like war. I still have nightmares that won't stop.

[@treasurelee4223]

ĐⱤ ₩łⱠⱠ₳₥ ₵₳₦ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ɎØɄ ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ɆӾ ฿₳₵₭ ⱧɆ ł₴ ₳ ⱠØVɆ ₴₱ɆⱠⱠ ₵₳₴₮ɆⱤ. ₩Ⱨ₳₮₳₱₱ Ⱨł₥ ➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.....