Case Study - Origin of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[@privatesniffles1607]

Jesus Christ, how can someone not turn out incredibly emotionally damaged from that childhood, always denied empathy, treated like a slave and even as an adult just seen as a problem to others instead of someone that needs help.

[@epicmercury333]

Seriously. It's just so sad.

[@virginiafonacier8795]

Yes so sad.Family upbringing played so much when kids grew up with narcs parents.Unfortunately I married one and he passed it to us his family.No positive traits but extremely nothing inside him but hatred, envy,revenge,etc.Soooooo depressing.

[@LuxMeow]

I managed to turn out emotional healthy and balanced for a long time and for some of us it hits us later in life. I had cut all the toxic people out. So many are on the side of the parent/s and then you go on in life and all the predators come for you , as 'friends' as 'romantic partners', as a 'boss' because once you are abused the cycle repeats. It's like you meet the same people over and over with different faces. You learn to get smarter the hard way but there is a lot of anger and distrust as you learn the dark side of most people. So a lot of us remain as loners because most people are trouble. End up with CPTSD, BPD at best, otherwise other diagnosis which can make your life more challenging. When your life starts as shit, if on top of that you're attractive, have great qualities that make others jealous and female, people will try to ruin you, especially if you're a kind person. Evil people are better off all around because they run this society. It's constructed on guilting, shaming, harshly judging others, without really listening, seeing the bigger picture, using people as tools and worshiping objects. Even 'normal' people are way more fucked up than they think. Many people have traits of personality disorders to fit in with society (think the people who created Hunger Games as they sat back and watched everyone kill each other to survive), they do things because authority says it's okay, even if that means at the demise of someone else, physical, spiritual, emotional. Hell isn't a thing of fiction, it's right here, on this planet. I know, I lived there and I walked through it. People who survive it had their scars.

[@24lisaleone]

Woodlice worm, It’s been awhile since I studied Dev. Psych but i’m pretty sure there is a cognitive “resilience factor” involved in development. Dont know the % of occurrence. My guess for those that have “great parents” you can get it from too much misappropriated attention as well. Also, i’m not sure but I think trauma and trauma-bonds that can lead to NPD can occur from other peers or relationships.

[@soilgrasswaterair]

I found it odd that he was viewed as being physically dangerous in a situation where he whipped her with the belt because she had tried to whip him with the belt because his parents had told her she could physically abuse him in the name of discipline. Give me one person who would allow anyone to whip them with a belt (without consent). And then add the humiliation of being 15 years old and be babysat by someone who is ONE year *younger* , and the frustration of being babysat due to having so many restrictions in your own home (that frankly didn’t sound like much of a home due to how vile they treated him). For anyone to diagnose him with anti social disorder because of one incident without looking into what that incident detailed is horrible. Because anyone in their right mind can understand what made him whip her and shouldn’t the parents or the babysitter have faced some consequence for acting like it was ok to physically assault him? This is so odd.

[@alejandropereyrarozas3371]

Man, I've never heard before of such crazy parents. I'm surprised that he didn't turn into a serial killer. NPD just sounds healthy for this poor guy. Todd, please keep posting real life cases, especially about narcissism. The general public needs to know what really goes on in families, schools, etc

[@victorbeardman1610]

I have these parents too. You realise that there is something wrong with your parents growing up, but not how. And when you're a child you're scared of leaving your parents for fosterparents, because you're afraid they might be even worse.

[@victorbeardman1610]

But I think maybe this mass shooter in Texas might have NPD parents or parents with cluster B dissorders.

[@k.ambriz9789]

Victor Beardma wow. Did you read something to that effect?

[@victorbeardman1610]

@@k.ambriz9789 Yeah, I think so narcisissmen seems to increase.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

I found this very helpful because I've had horrible experience with NPD sufferers. This helped me have empathy.

[@jaredmello]

Wow. Some people hardly have a chance with the upbringing they had

[@victorbeardman1610]

Yeah, because they're destroyed by this trauma, I'm one of them and is still treated like a child by my narc parents.

[@jaredmello]

My dad is a covert narc. Wasn’t fun

[@jaredmello]

I’ve got a channel about psychology and mental health too! From a first person perspective, check it out if ya want!

[@jaredmello]

Wake Up thanks so much for checking it out! Pretty awesome of you

[@ladymopar2024]

I see so much of that in the work world and makes me sad why have kids then?

[@leedunn1188]

Good lord, what a sad story. Mental health problems and abuse so often cycle through generations.

[@lunacouer]

This. My mom had a similar upbringing (with physical violence added), became narcissistic, did the same thing her parents did, my sister became narcissistic, I've got borderline traits, and now my niece and nephew are at risk. I never had kids - despite therapy, decreased severity of symptoms and some insight, I don't know if I could've broken the cycle either. It's hard to be a parent in the healthiest of settings - it's Herculean when you're not even sure what healthy looks like. I'm glad Dr. Grande focuses on empathy for people with Cluster B disorders. Despite the harm people not recovering from these disorders cause, it all started somewhere. It's very rare for someone to be born with Cluster B's and never had any childhood trauma. I feel a lot of compassion for the childhood my mom had. I can't have her in my life right now, but still, she was a victim too.

[@michaelkennedy5126]

I have finally heard a story almost as insane as my childhood

[@sideswiped6874]

we as children, put up with that narcissism for the simple reason that it was "just another day". it's a sad thing when a women that can not produce love puts that shit on to a child, don't ask me how I know, I will be typing for a week. good luck people! I know and understand!, so I feel for you!

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Cynically Hopeful well put.

[@mirjanarancic4266]

Lee Dunn You even can't emagine I come from that hell .And it's soft what I been heard .....

[@lizabethlillard3870]

I find the therapeutic community more frightening than the client in this case. The client clearly needed counseling for depression and life skills since it soun d's like he never experienced a loving supportive environment in his whole life by the time he sought help. His ability to be truthful to potential employers is shamebased. I've never seen a narcissist admit to anything. Slapping diagnosis's on folks before some action centered therapy is dangerous and so so much playing God. Many people change given the healthy tools to practice and be immersed in for healing. If this guy is hypersensitive to his environment it makes sense. He should NOT be shamed again by therapists lacking in life experience or empathy for the client. Thanks for sharing.

[@plummypurple]

I agree. Of course, there are many interactions between the counselor and client that made her come to that conclusion that I guess we will never know. But yes the counselor seemed kind of non-empathetic and maybe out of her league. I like the case studies. Interesting.

[@SunnyGirlFlorida]

True. But therapists are real people too and not perfect. They have their own weak spots as well.

[@JDdr86]

That therapist sounds like a misandric psychopath!

[@pw5651]

I guess therapist or whatever was probably offended at how he criticized their office clothes etc. and they partly diagnosed him according to that.

[@gracelivingstone191]

It’s helpful to understand the childhood trauma in a patient and how it leads to adult disorders. More videos like this please. I am estranged from my two adult daughters and am trying to understand what I did to contribute to this. I spent a lifetime seeking therapy for depression thinking I was breaking the chain of family abuse so I put a high priority on having an open, honest relationship with my girls giving them unconditional love and encouragement while doing my best as a single mother to discipline them when necessary. As they became almost cruel adults keeping me from my grandkids I spent 7 yrs asking them what I was doing wrong. Why wouldn’t they talk to me or visit. I finally realized it’s not me it’s them but don’t understand how they got this way. I thought I had at least instilled good family values in them but it seems none of what I taught them took. The only value they see in me is to have someone to giggle and gossip about while telling me that’s not happening. As far as I know they have not suffered trauma in their childhood and only one smokes pot. Can I fix this or is it out of my hands and time to let it go?

[@BernitaFord]

When I hear case studies like these, I am reminded to be more patient and sympathetic to other people. I would not have wanted to walk even a yard in these people's shoes. Thanks, Dr. Grande, for shedding light on what others are dealing with and have dealt with.

[@brianwalsh1401]

I hear what your saying but I've had too many of these people in my life cause me great grief and almost destroy me. I've had them in my family of origin, school bully, married one and have had several bosses and coworkers who were narcissists or sociopaths. I'm a codependent so it really was very difficult to deal with all of these people who were poison to me but it also help me to get help for my unresolved childhood issues and get healthy. So I'm in the process of letting it go for my own health. Not there yet.

[@MLJay]

“Emotional damage is real damage” Heartbreaking case study.

[@cynthiaallen9225]

I agree. I never would have diagnosed him with ASPD, not that I'm qualified. His father was a whimp and his mother shouldn't have been allowed to keep him. Poor guy. He's got a long, hard road. I wonder how it turned out for him. Yes, this is a great format. It was hard to take hearing how he was raised.

[@lizcarr1330]

This poor guy was abused and emotionally neglected as a child and adult. How else is he supposed to turn out

[@JelenaScott]

Case study. Brilliant format. Would love to see more :-) Thank you!

[@craigbenz4835]

This video worked well, and more of them would be good.

[@k.ambriz9789]

Great video.

[@mmiller8663]

I agree, more like this would be good. Then maybe just maybe people could see how they shouldn't treat there kids. And maybe at the end you could add something along the lines of what different could be done for a better outcome in life.

[@trinity6764]

Second that .

[@jadeauburn9220]

Absolutely agree!

[@TantėsTelikas]

So heatbreaking. Cannot imagine the loneliness that boy felt. What a great format to shine a light on the roots of personality disorders and show how necessary compassion is.

[@tdang9528]

EVIL

[@DreamingInTechnicolor]

When the narcissist is a social worker that abused her authority by criminalizing me without provocation. I was snatched away from my family, lost my home, most of my possessions, my dogs, and was temporarily stripped of my freedom and threatened with the potential of jail/ prison time... Based on slanderous accusations from a social worker that first posed as an ally. I reported fraudulent activity in billing and I believe this was my punishment, she didn’t push those reports through! The only thing that saved me was the fact that I recorded the vast majority of our conversations. I don’t understand why, and I’m struggling to rebuild my life... and my ability to trust has been shattered.

[@debsabatino311]

Sounds like you were a victim of crazy. So sorry. I had a boss that was a narcissistic bully for the 17 years I was under her. Very sneaky. After 17 years she was berating me while I had patients right in front of me so I would have to act like I was having a professional conversation. That time and after 17 years of this, I went in a back room and vented to a friend co worker, "why does she have to act like such a bitch". A religious narc co worker over heard and told her. After that she spent a relentless 1 1/2 years in a smear campaign until I was fired. You were so much stronger than me ....recording! I did nothing, just let it happen. I admire you! Stay strong!

[@lisasmith516]

@@debsabatino311 I'm sorry a supposedly CHRISTIAN person didn't just speak with you as they should have, privately. They will answer for that.

[@debsabatino311]

@@brusselsprout5851 yes, she always manages to stay on top even though it is common knowledge within the department staff that she is a bully and sneaky in berating her staff which she doesn't deserve to have under her. They are the best! Btw she is a "minister ".

[@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098]

Why is it so hard to defend oneself (within the system) from a narcissist, and s/he always seems to escape repercussions for attacks while the victim/s feel the impact? I'm noticing it seems to be mostly ladies on here at the moment...? But there are probably a few fans of contact sports, no? The ref always sees the second punch. It sounds goofy, but narcissists use this basic principle to their advantage -- like pros.

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

My god that's horrible 😢 .You poor thing .It true you can not trust ppl in "positions of authority " . Most of them are the worst of the monsters.

[@frankenz66]

Good grief, 😣 poor family. That whole family has been abused. Someone might say the mother is terrible, but someone helped "make" her, who she is as well.

[@frankenz66]

@@ninavandenabbeele9667 Like a bad diet habits in a family triggering health conditions is perpetrated over generations, so can coping skills and defense mechanisms. The latter usually isn't blamed on family genetics as the former often is.

[@rightnow5839]

👍🏻 Dr. Grande. It Seems as though something was definitely wrong with Thomas’s mother since she made a huge deal out of a small thing, and put him down regularly. I’ve noticed that some children end up with traits of Narcissism if they had a parent with it, while other children in same household may not have those traits however they always seem to have some emotional problems due to that type of upbringing. 💗

[@watchin_kc]

I found this very interesting and I didn't go into it expecting to like it...but I did. I think my ex-wife had a childhood even more bizarre, callous, unjust, humiliating, unpredictably terrifying, dehumanizing, etc. as the person from the case study. Like many people, I too have experienced the surreal, slow-morion, bewildering torture that being attached to a narc can become. I admit... after all the pain, heartache, lost time and a million other things, I have a hard time giving a shit about the WHY she was so toxic or what had happened in her life to create a person like that. We are all responsible for our choices and how we treat others. Many of us have deep wounds from our association with narcs. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for an abuser who could always seem to reign it in or act kindly when it served them... or when an authority figure was around...because it shows she always did know right from wrong and is in control of what she does. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, bad childhood or not...nobody can use that to excuse someone's voluntary choice to act with cruelty. Having said all that... Getting a more filled-in backstory does add a layer of understanding and, yes, COMPASSION....Not much...but maybe enough to remind myself that a narc is a broken soul who was once a child...who had to adapt to madness or else. I'm not getting soft. I think WE ALL have a responsibility to track down and root out anything within ourselves that causes us to excuse or justify being a cruel abuser.

[@jaredmello]

His mother sounds like a horrible person

[@lisasmith516]

FRED WAS A DEVIL 😈🔥👿 AS WELL.

[@jaredmello]

Lisa Smith yes very true. I replied before I head the end of the tragic tale

[@narcbegone1507]

Lisa Smith Why do you say that? There's very little mentioned about him. So I'm just curious what leads you to believe that

[@soilgrasswaterair]

Narc Begone he agreed to the young babysitter being allowed to physically abuse Thomas. And then add all the torture from the mother, which wouldn’t be able to take place had his father not been so passive. It went on right under his nose and he did not take action, and the fact he ran off with the babysitter who was so much younger shows you even more how twisted he was. Their son did not really stand a chance to be a whole person with an upbringing like that. So yes, enough is known about the father to know he wasn’t there for his son or healthy.

[@narcbegone1507]

We don't really know that he agreed to anything. He may have had no clue that the mother instructed the babysitter to use the belt. Same with the rest of mother's torture. Unless I'm forgetting something. He could have been never home, and told all kinds of lies by the mother. She could have told the father that Thomas wanted to stay in his room all the time, for all i know. Pathological liars make up all kinds of stories. We don't know what the father was told. All we know is that he didn't care to find out for himself, or to bond with his son.

[@thefigurehead392]

"...we see Thomas came in and complained that her office was dirty... she was dressed in clothes that were from the 60's... he indicated her staff was rude to him while he was in the waiting room, and he also said that all mental health professionals were loosers... so Thomas was really off to a good start, right?" LMAO

[@nancylpr]

What a horrible story. That poor kid....

[@yazansakran3326]

Yikes, this sounds like my childhood. Glad I ran away and got help when I did.....🤢🤢🤮 Thank you for this educational content. Very informative

[@mahler71]

Sounds a bit like mine but not so extreme. I thought all English families were like this

[@toni-annleone780]

I ran away at 19 but I still struggle with jobs

[@afree6339]

Wow. No wonder they block it out and never really reveal what happened to them. Anyone else notice that? It’s like you never know what exactly occurred in childhood? Ugh and thanks to mommy dearest, society has to pay. Great video Doc!

[@selkoa8384]

April TEE-ZEE true .

[@erikkasepiphany85]

Yes my husband does not have many memories of childhood, he has narcissistic personality disorder and I’m pretty sure his mother has NPD as well and they are the coldest, most unempathetic people I’ve ever met.

[@rhonda23456]

The case study format brings life to the theories and the research - in this case, a sad life, but, it also helps me understand how (good) therapists can at least hope to maintain compassion for their clients. You do have one of the more difficult jobs on the planet, imho (which is part of why I never completed Psych grad school...). :-)

[@k.ambriz9789]

This was very interesting. I'd love to see a case study about avoidant personality disorder. It's hard to find much information about that condition. Thank you!

[@juliecantin]

This really makes me appreciate my own parents.... I appreciate the format and would like to see more of the same!

[@elisamastromarino7123]

Sensitively put, Dr Grande. What a sad, sad, story. And yes! I would say that both of his parents were incredibly selfish and self focused at the very least. What a horrible life for Thomas. Strange how some abused kids grow up and overcome enormous hurdles to make their life into something better while others, like Thomas, are left to flounder in the mental health system. That's just tragic. Thank you for your gentle manner with this account. 🌹👍

[@darkamethyssst4723]

More videos on narcissism would be excellent.. thanks Doc..

[@vivienleigh4640]

When hearing about this case, I remember a little girl that was at the time 10 years old. This was about 30 years ago. A co-worker (this was not when I worked as a counselor, I might add - sure, there are som deeply disturbed counselors, but anyway) ... well, a co-worker had invited me and others to an early dinner. We were about fifteen people, all adults except for this 10 year old girl. She didn't sit at the table with us, she sat on a stool about six feet away. I smiled at her and waved and she approached me. She asked me "What do you like?" "I like the sun", I answered "What do you like?" She answered "ice-cream". I told her that she could sit on my lap if she wanted to. She quickly did so. Then suddenly, I hear her mother say with a sigh "Oh! she's found a new favorite!", rolling her eyes. I didn't know what to say, so I just said - "And so have I". After a while I went out for a smoke (yes, I did smoke!), I found a chair and sat there. Soon after the girl came and joined me, carrying a blanket that she put over my shoulders. I wonder what became of her.

[@halfrutter2226]

So glad My brother and I were not raised like Thomas! Wow what an empty, unempathic childhood.

[@sage9836]

I learned that self compassion leads to compassion for the narcs I have known. When you are not interested in what they did nor having to worry much about what they will do, you feel sad for what must have made them into how they are and that, unless they change, their closest connection will be controlling someone and taking their resources, and not real friendship nor love. They can look cool, but their lives are sad, were sad, and will be sad. Anger melts seeing that. Just don't go back; they will hurt and provoke you. They can't help it.

[@helgeope]

It was such a sad story to hear about this kid. I think this child just needed love and didn't get any. Well explained in an accurate and clear way. Hopefully, we all learn something from this: Love your children as much as you can. Nothing else matters.

[@narcbegone1507]

If you ask Thomas's parents, they will swear up and down that they loved him and he was a spoiled ungrateful brat. Abusers don't know what love is, but will use the word and confuse you.

[@allinaday9882]

Thomas’s story causes me so much pain, I can not bear to think of it again. This video is a breakthrough in teaching the vast audience of “Narcissistic “ videos of all types on YT. Although most of my family suffer from this personality trait, from the age of 11 or so, I felt deep compassion for both of my parents.When at an older age, I came to know my mom’s mother, my compassion grew for both of them. In high school I made it my goal to break the chain of the abuse my family members had suffered for generations. (No, I did not become a mental health professional). In many ways I succeeded. But, I was always seen as an outsider or odd family member by all of my family. A very lonely place to be. Dr. Grande, this is a beautiful show. And very well put together and presented. Your education, work and experience and empathy are the unique ingredients that made this video shine. Thank you 🙏.

[@jaspreetb1547]

In a world where narcissism is becoming the status quo..... these videos help us take a look at our own actions even! I respect you for sharing this knowledge and helping many of us! Our little impacts in our own behaviour can create mini influences on others in society. Thank you

[@jeffday9147]

Is anyone else concerned about how a mental health professional would make questionable diagnoses plus say the patient shouldn't have kids and STILL be so confident that she puts it forward as a case study. Also, we shouldn't forget that seeing someone for mental health is one of the WEIRDEST experiences anyone could have and we should expect that peculiar judgements and personal remarks are likely to come from the patient Call it transference if you like but this psychologist reminds me of my mother

[@TrissM]

Yes

[@narcbegone1507]

Therapist had a grandiosity complex, playing God deciding who should have kids and who shouldn't. I would look into suing the therapist. Thomas doesn't even need to worry about evidence gathering - she put the case out there herself.

[@narcbegone1507]

It's a gross violation of boundaries by the therapist to say he shouldn't have kids.

[@marymary20]

6 min in and it’s too much for me to listen to the rest. My heart hurts for Thomas. I will try again later. Thank you, Dr. Grande...what a great format, the case study.

[@torakwarius]

Thank you for making this video. It makes me want to cry, it’s such a terrible childhood. There were a few things I could relate to, being an only child and having had parents that were at the same time absent and hovering, exclusive, dismissive, and not empathetic. It really makes me wonder how my mother grew up. Unfortunately she’s practically impossible to talk to. I’d love to know more about the origins of narcissism, especially the covert type.

[@tthinker9897]

I felt this was very informative. Pathology always has a root cause, either emotional or physical abuse, or brain malformation due to genetics or trauma. Any way you look at it, dysfunctional people are victims as well as victimizers. Hurting people do hurtful things.

[@43110s]

So painful to hear this story! Poor boy! But very interesting to hear about this case study. Would love to hear more case studies. Especially about covert narcissism!!! Super great video, Dr. Grande!!! Thank you for making highly interesting videos!

[@JacobMichael]

>:( This makes me so angry. Poor Thomas :( . Honestly.. I can see how this type of disorder would have a high chance of being passed on. It's like Thomas was filed away by his parents, totally neglected, given absolutely no voice as a child, and stripped of his agency. It's no surprise to me that he grew up feeling deeply unrequited and thinking that he was special/different even if no one knew. :( . I imagine the anxiety came from feeling totally out of control -- since he literally could say nothing or do nothing to be heard as a kid. He was utterly at the mercy of his parents who seemed very, very unhappy to have him around.

[@KarhuLP]

The described behavior of the mother made me seriously cringe.

[@realGBx64]

I'm the least bit surprised that the father ran away with the baby sitter. probably that was the best choice for him, too

[@Inner_wild_child]

Love case studies! This one is rly great-gives some empathetic understanding of narcissistic individuals

[@cameronmorman5866]

Most people just think we're pricks.

[@ruebensfilms]

Empathize yes, tolerate no.

[@cameronmorman5866]

It's not impossible to control it. Some people simply don't want to make the effort.

[@Inner_wild_child]

ruebensfilms that’s why i used the word empathize and not tolerate

[@ruebensfilms]

Just stressing the point not correcting. I hear you.

[@carlie5577]

The whole story was disturbing. However, the part that caught me off guard was the babysitter being moved into the home as a new child of sorts. I just have so many questions and I am very creeped out too🤔

[@illyillyill]

@JD Jones She was also there as a replacement or additional source of supply to the son.

[@maryskelton2562]

The dad ran off with her, which is probably why he wanted her there to begin with.

[@narcsinart7179]

@@maryskelton2562 , no i don't think so, i think the mom wanted her there to begin with. the mom ran the show. but mom did not have the foresight to see that the babysitter would usurp her in the end.

[@enviroheritage2220]

That part shows the struggle the mother was in with her husband, that in turn was metted out on the son. I am not excusing her behaviour but it looks like that mother also had issues and she only felt validated when oppressing Thomas

[@maryannmaher3120]

This is a wonderful format Dr. Grande, because you explain how parents with untreated mental disorders can severely affect a child causing a new generation of dysfunctional parents. I think the world needs to hear more case studies like this to give us all a better sense of compassion and empathy for those with a mental health diagnosis, particularly the difficult ones like NPD. It's so easy to demonize destructive people without having a bit of the insight that your case studies provide. Thank you!

[@cocoaocean]

Stripping someone of an authentic identity by consistent negation of their personal preferences. Only responding to them when acting arrogant will slowly mold them into an arrogant person. Yet the ability to not see these people as any extension of oneself but ill and should probably never had children is the way to recovery? He still identifies with these parents as extensions so behaves in the set programmed way, narcissism. Acting arrogant or carrying the black sheep role into adulthood. Either way it's not being appreciated and affecting his work. The intelligence has to be stronger than all the influence of a toxic family life.

[@BigZebraCom]

I like the idea of presenting case studies.

[@jayabee]

I always feel compassion for narcissists because I've hardly ever known one that I didn't have a really traumatic backstory. But compassion alone can sometimes not be very healing. Hence the whole concept about "all mental health providers are losers". A lack of comprehension of the difference between kindness and weakness. You really have to have your "don't take it personally" glasses on to be any kind of help 2 people with narcissistic personality characteristics. it's not impossible and can be rewarding to see a person with some of those personality characteristics begin to develop some authentic self esteem that reduces the need for the narcissistic defense mechanisms. There is a big difference though between having a narcissistic person as a client and having such a person in your personal life and just putting it out there for people who have a tendency to become attached to people with this personality type you already know that over time your love your caring will become threatening in at that moment it will be rejected. So yes feel compassion for the other person and also for yourself in such a situation but don't let that guide your decision-making in being in relationship with certain people. My unsolicited advice on that.

[@castirondude]

Dr Grande, These case studies are very interesting. Rarely do people talk about these things in public. It's really eye opening what happens behind closed doors in many families.

[@bricy6437]

I would love to see more case studies. This just shows that people have a reason for the way they are. I forget that sometimes!

[@emmaphilo4049]

I still have many videos to watch on your channel, Dr Grande. I did particularely like this one because it shows the cycle of abuse/ dysfuntion/ violence the entire society is subjected to over and over again...

[@celladoor_uk]

well, I can relate with that. Thanks for this video doctor grande, people seem to think if you weren't sexually abused or beaten it cant have been that bad but boy are they wrong.

[@gaiaiulia]

I've just seen this video for the first time. That was a classic upbringing for a serial killer. How did he stay even partially sane? This poor guy couldn't get a break at all. Imagine the mother insisting he get a criminal record and trying to get him put into prison at fourteen or fifteen till he was eighteen. Giving away his toys struck a cord with me, as my parents used to give away the books I got for Christmas to my cousins. They did explain why, but it still hurt. Even this poor guy's therapist seems to have had it in for him if I may use such an unprofessional phrase. I'm not surprised he needed therapy, and even there, with respect to the professionals he seems not to have had any luck. What an interesting case study, narrated in your usual fair and balanced way.

[@Patrick-pt2yd]

I really appreciated this format. It would have been cool to add a little of how you might work with this person.

[@jadeauburn9220]

It feels to me like this is a really interesting development in this person's mental state. Somehow it would sound more likely to get extremely depressed, have ptsd etc. The mind of a human is evidently amazing.

[@cat4331]

OOOOH this seems interesting! I’ve always wondered where it came from.. maybe the narc’s own mother/father abuse! Thank you for this video! Thank you for your hard work! Cat

[@NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

I think NPD is a learned behavior. I also think it’s role modeled for them in their childhood.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

@@NarcissisticAbuseRehab I think its compensatory after hearing this.

[@lrrrruleroftheplanetomicro6881]

@@NarcissisticAbuseRehab You should really read some of Otto Kernberg's work.

[@redwatch.]

This video helps me feel more compassion for people who irritate me.

[@illyillyill]

This really is a great case study breakdown. Thanks for a lot for this. It's actually strikingly similar to my childhood. However, while i was emotionally and psychically neglected i didn't get the overbearing strictness of my NPD parents at the same time. (yes, both of them are/were NPD'd one is dead). For half of my childhood i was considered the "golden child". While my foster brothers got my fathers true ...Narcissistic/ Antisocial wraith. I got my mothers (and fathers) complete and total emotional , and in some cases physical neglect/ abandonment. Which of course led to life problems one of which will most likely be life destroying. The guys Baby sitter was the golden child in this situation, and it speaks to what i've known for years. Narcissistic parents don't care anything at all about blood relation when it comes to selecting sources of narcissistic supply, and targets. As i said i was the golden child, but when i started to reject my parents behavior i was quickly, even more so than before, emotionally abandoned to be replaced by one of my foster brothers. Not much different than this Narc mom wanting her son locked up to be replaced by the daughter she always wanted(The baby sitter). We all know that Narcissists can go from being completely and totally controlling to caring nothing for your existence or well being at all in the blink of an eye and THIS is a great example of how it manifests with parents and their "children".

[@sabrinagranger5468]

Really interesting! There's a thin line between excusing someone's actions and figuring out what led to them, and I think case studies like this are really useful for non-professionals as well. Would love to see more!

[@nolifegrimm5663]

This is so close to my life it brought tears to my eyes. The only difference is add a very strict Pentecostal mother and a alcoholic father who we found dead when I was 12 he was 32. I have been diagnosed as having bipolar 2 and BPD. I am also a man. I never had friends still don't. I couldn't have any friends over. I had to stay in my room if I was home. I used to get whipped and had to read the bible out loud while it happened.

[@debsabatino311]

So sad Grimm 333.

[@victorbeardman1610]

Same with me, my mother got angry and disturbed my father too when friends came over. I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers with my friends either.

[@lisasmith516]

I HOPE YOU ARE HEALED.

[@victorbeardman1610]

@@lisasmith516 Yeah, I don't know, but some of my siblings have become narcisisstic too. Atleast I'm aware of how they behave.

[@victorbeardman1610]

@@brusselsprout5851 Yes, I've realised this as a grown up when I look back on my childhood. The thing is I always knew that there was something wrong with my parents and that they didn't treat me or my siblings in a good way. But I didn't know what kind of dissorder it was. And as a child I had other peers in my class that were friends with me that also were acting in a narcisisstic way, their parents too. So, I was surronded by narcisissts without realising it. I kind of thought that I was the problem because I was "the minority". My parents even shamed me some years after when I had a hard time making friends. They said that I was antisocial and that it was my own fault. It's hard for a person to understand that a parent or a partner or relative want's to hurt you on purpose because of this dissorder.

[@SEASCAT]

My mother was a narcissist and I'm always looking for answers that will help me understand her. I used to say she was a malignant narcissist but she apologized on her death bed for being a bad mother. I'd forgiven her, but will never forget. I have C-PTSD (have had some BPD traits off and on but never enough to accept that diagnosis.) It was such a blessing when I found C-PTSD in the ICD, it describes me exactly! And I'm ADHD., only recently realizing how much that fits, too, now that I'm quite elderly. I struggle to keep a roof over my head , these days. You've got more videos that I haven't seen, don't know how I missed them.

[@aliciakristina328]

Very interesting and informative. Love love love. More videos like this would be great. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@emilygoogle6520]

Please continue making videos with this format, if possible! I found it very informative and a helpful way to better understand the psychology behind the narcissistic mind.

[@jamesw3888]

Thank you, Dr Grande. This case study helped me to understand much better my own history, (similar, but not as extreme as Thomas’), and to get to the root of my NPD, for which I take the responsibility of recovery. Please make a video about healing the traumas that are the root cause of NPD.

[@patriciadl3979]

Hello! How would you say your progress is going to take responsibility? I'm in the same boat and am looking for more reassurances that change is possible if one has the desire to do so. Thank you in advance.

[@priyao5097]

This is so tragic and reminds me of why I extended empathy towards the narc in the first place. They came from an unusually troubled upbringing similar to mine and won everyone’s heart, including my own. It is so difficult to negotiate the line between empathy and enabling these people.

[@landrybeck]

Dr. Grande, I’d personally love to hear you do a video on when depression and anxiety become disabling. That is, when the person is so badly afflicted with these disorders and pertinent personality disorders that they can no longer function in society and an adjudicator or judge awards social security disability benefits. How do you treat that? What is the prognosis? What would such a person come to expect as they grew older and their older caretakers grew too infirm to care for said person. I know such an individual and wonder sometimes how he will simply “survive” in the future.

[@sandyshorewalker5364]

This was an interesting case history. i would enjoy more videos done in this format. Really felt that Thomas has a very rough start.

[@chupachipchipachup7887]

The patient's upbringing sounds like a real horror story. His mother sounds like a textbook narcissist. I've read about many stories like these consisting of insane parents and threats 24/7.

[@notubercharged]

I've been on holiday and the internet was quite bad where I was so I couldn't watch your videos for a week - I'm going to binge watch the ones I've missed now though!

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

I had strictly enforced early bedtimes, too. They are embarrassing and way more isolating than most folks realize.

[@lindsey9728]

My mom's ex boyfriend's mother moved down the street from us when I was young, she was from East Germany, yup, that one, and had escaped. She got custody of a nephew with ADD. The poor kid had to go to bed at 6 every night, and it was advertised to everyone in the neighborhood. The kid chose to move back in with his drug addict mother a few years later, it was that bad. I often think about the trauma she experienced, enough to escape at the risk of death and how that trauma was transferred to a small child with ADD and nobody was around to teach him coping skills. The humiliation of such an early bedtime was well understood by all the kids.

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

@@lindsey9728 ya i used to wish either of my parents had an addiction or something so i wouldn't look like i deserved/needed to be under such tight control.

[@lindsey9728]

@@pebblebrookbooks4852 I'm so sorry.

[@ladymopar2024]

Who else binge watches? Even though I've seen them before you're always kept something different every time you watch him I love this man's Channel Yes we need more real life stories so the Layman can understand this and maybe be on the lookout. I love this new idea and you are the best present of all this

[@pocoeagle2]

Thank you Dr. Grande. I like hearing about these case studies. It's interesting to get to know how important a childhood is for understanding someone's personality disorder. I felt really sorry for Thomas. It would be very helpful and interesting to hear more case studies about children , who developed other personality disorders from all the ten there are in the DSM, so to understand better where these PD's are coming from.

[@maryannmaher3120]

I can't tell you how impressed I am with the clinical analysis that Dr Grande gives to these case studies! Inherent in this analysis by Dr Grande was compassion for this poor wounded soul who was raised by unkind, cruel and unloving parents. Not only did he suffer abuse but also got a diagnosis for acting out what he learned... So sad and such a great statement on what this unfortunate person suffered.

[@jcsrst]

Jesus Christ! What the hell is wrong with people! I have a hard time feeling bad for narcissists, I was raised by one and it's taken my whole adult life to figure out why I am the way I am. I made the decision to not have children because I didn't trust that I wouldn't screw them up. They leave a trail of damage everywhere they go. Just because someone shit on you when you were young doesn't give you the right to shit on your kids.

[@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098]

That's quite a sacrifice -- sounds like you have made your way to some serious self-awareness. Hope you find ways to pass it along. (As someone else who chose not to have bio kids, for somewhat different reasons, I think there are lots of ways to pass on your heart and your lessons!) 🙏😊

[@Cloudicles]

Dear Dr Grande, I thank you sincerely for making these videos. I have learnt and understood much about myself and relationships in my life. Recently after having a breakdown and being diagnosed with complex PTSD, and begun my healing journey with my very capable and truly caring clinical psychologist, I have begun to explore mental health in greater depth. I find so much value in the videos you produce. I enjoy your teaching style. Your speech is soothing and therefore I retain more than I usually would. Thank you for extending your knowledge beyond practice walls and providing a platform for me to understand my world in greater depth from the safety of my home. I am grateful and appreciate you work

[@Melisa-sb1qk]

Dr, Grande, it was great. My experience was having a narcististic mother and ex-huband. I had a great loving father that in a way I.am.saved as being an empathic person. My struggle with narcistic people continued at work as well . Just recently i discovered all. Your videos help.a lot Surely I would like to hear more case studies. Regards & Greetings from Europe

[@barbnauman705]

So tragically sad. I’m immediately curious about the mother’s history and background-“Hurt people, hurt people.” Yes, I am interested in more case studies. You’re doing a great service by discussing this kind of abuse that doesn’t leave physical marks. My hope is that more and more people will see your videos, and that they, or friends and family members, might see people in need and seek help. Sending you my best wishes, Dr. G. Take good care!

[@s.h.l.2825]

Something else: Recently I came across a TED talk about a rape victim who shares stage with her rapist! I watched the whole video, and it was not easy. I think the lady is still suffering from the trauma as seen in here facial expressions. I think her method is no healing, but I would like to know your opinion, as an expert. Thanks a lot. The video title is: "Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation".

[@maryelmckinley6239]

Extremely helpful. I wish I had seen this case study a year ago. It may have saved me a lot of grief, confusion in dealing with what I now know was an extremely dangerous yet baffling Narrcisitic Perpetrator that was in my life-that I still have a lot of compassion for as I did know that person's cunning behavior had to have developed from childhood extreme trauma. I thought my perp had M.P.D. until I observed the personality switches seemed to only occur when I was alone with that human being. She is no longer "with us" i.e. she passed away so this definitely helps me understand the criteria & again I am glad you included having compassion for these tortured souls who seem to lack self awareness, genuine empathy & self insight. .Many BLESSINGS to you. Thank you again.

[@karenabrams8986]

PLEASE analyze Joan Crawford and the Mommy Dearest material. I see it so differently now that I’ve learned about NPD and attachment disordered adopted kids.

[@suzyq3225]

I REALLY like this format. It gives the average person insight that only a clinician is usually exposed to.

[@mariaelenarodriguez6188]

I do feel compassion... for Thomas.

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

Oh my God! That is such a heart breaking story. So unfair! The mother seems crazy Wow amazing how he respected the clinician. I love how you are drawing attention to their suffering, Dr. Grande! Thank you for pointing out the emotional impact. I can understand why he didn't want contact with his mother.

[@ankidaedin3583]

Looking at this case... My gosh.. I wish I could give the protagonist a hug. What a life..

[@ankidaedin3583]

@@brusselsprout5851 You're right. Not that I would mind him doing either of those things, but man... How does one even help that? Despite everything?

[@ankidaedin3583]

@@brusselsprout5851 I wish I knew enough to have the competence to help, to be honest.

[@ankidaedin3583]

@JD Jones You think so? If I have to consider a moment's worth of validation for a whole life of dysfunction... It wouldn't really help much at all. Like: im validated, now what? Maybe I'm overthinking it lol

[@narcbegone1507]

Ankida, it's not really just a moment. It takes longer to hear someone out. Over multiple conversations. Hearing someone out is an act of kindness. Telling their story is a little step in a long healing process for abuse victims.

[@ankidaedin3583]

@@narcbegone1507 I am aware of this, but I'm also in no position to help abuse victims. My momentary good intentions are the best I can do, mutually, right now.

[@epicmercury333]

Doctor, while I want you to know how much I really enjoy your regular format, I must admit this was an interesting case study. Mixing some case studies in with your normal format could be extremely enlightening. My heart really does out to 'Thomas'. If even half of what he said was true, that was one WARPED childhood. That being said, after my own exposure to narcissism (with most likely co-morbid traits), I really wouldn't want to get close enough to 'Thomas' to express my sympathy either. I am truly stunned how much damage is done in our culture via narcissism; even when it doesn't seem to be pathological (from my limited layman's point of view). I am very grateful for your dispassionate, rational analysis of these complex psychological mechanisms.

[@krisztinakessel6869]

Very good format!! Continue, dr Grande!

[@vivienleigh4640]

Yes, please do more videos like this! It puts things in a context, is more relatable, and gives a better understanding of behaviours - especially behaviours that might, on the surface, be seen as purely malicious.

[@anjiliveach3267]

I really enjoy this case study video format! I would love to see more of this type of video. :)

[@laurenjeangreenbean6301]

I love your case study videos! Its interesting how easy it was to empathize and even pity Thomas until some of his adult traits present, and the obfuscation of the childhood trauma is nearly immediate in the face of such mild irritants in behavior. I have so much respect for someone who can help an individual like that. How much genetic involvement can one determine when you have a parent(s) like that? Love these case studies!

[@AliceDont888]

Dr. Grande, what do you think that the client needed first and foremost to begin to heal?

[@ruthklipp3357]

@JD Jones I have no training either, but that looks like a real plan! :)

[@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098]

@JD Jones Amen. Start with believe the story (assuming that's a reasonable thing to do!) and affirm perceptions of reality -- talk about a life that could screw with your reality.... 🤯

[@jcrnda]

@JD Jones Very few narcissists look for therapy so I imagine your guess refers to victims of narcissists? If so, that's exactly what I did. #6 didn't work at all. Some people don't want help and they don't want to change. They don't know what healthy is and they like it the way it is...

[@lrrrruleroftheplanetomicro6881]

@JD Jones Very well put. Some would focus primarily on the analytic transference, which you have captured in #6.

[@annemccarron2281]

I doubt may people completely heal from this kind of treatment, they just learn to accept it & move forward.

[@justnoted2995]

Yes case studies show what the clinician finds useful in taking history. Good presentation Dr. Grande. What I would find helpful in these case studies is the treatment options in broad strokes. Thank you for your service in mental health education.

[@laurenclark5734]

WOW! Thomas has a tragic story. Karma got Mary when Fred ran off with Betty. I’d like to know Stacey’s story. She obviously got the heck out as soon as she could.

[@tuck-brainwks-eutent-hidva1098]

Yeah, well, Betty had better "check her 6" for the rest of her life....

[@liftheart84]

This format is extremely helpful because it gives real life examples in detail. Your previous format is also very helpful. A combination of this type of presentation that includes a real life with its characters and details leading up to the development of the persons problematic outcome, allows a real life view of human development. Looking at people, mental illness and personality disorders in a scientific way is helpful and when combined with examples that reveal real-life occurrences and real life characters in the lives of the person, allows us to see & follow the development of the issues that we are trying to understand by watching your Channel. I certainly hope that this is popular among the other viewers too, so that you can provide case studies like this along with continuing your scientificly informative videos that allow us to understand the condition of a person after they have already arrived in the condition that they're in.

[@trixielou4223]

I love the use of case studies thank you. I would be interested in hearing the results of therepeautic intervention on the case as well... Was there any improvement?

[@angelh8262]

The tragedy is no one stepped in to help this poor child. Not the teachers, family, friends or neighbours. Shameful ignorance shown by everyone who must have known this child was suffering and needed protection. But, sadly, the mother holds all the power, this is wrong and needs to things need to change.

[@ruthklipp3357]

Loved this one! Saw a smile, too - on Thomas's "loser" comment!

[@BasedGodEmperorTrump]

My heart goes out to him and others facing these kinds of hardships. Being abandoned by my mother when I was 10 and dying when I was 11 layed the foundation for my BPD. I'm now 31, divorced, isolated home alone and my ex wife keeps my daughter from me. Everyday is a nightmare. I'm not perfect. I live on emotions and cause me to react impulsively to which I do feel sorry for. I didn't ask for this disorder but am constantly demonized for it whether stigma or generalized. I have problems out of my control when triggered but I have been working on extinguishing the initial reaction to said triggers for the most part. Words slip out, gestures made etc but I have been refraining from escalation. I'm aware of manipulation and deception and try my best to not implement it outside of impulsive triggers without self control. Feeling numb or empty is like an imaginary friend that carries on into adulthood. Just the depression is a suicide Messiah. People exposed to the dark actions of disorders are victims but as Dr. Grande has stated, those affected with these burdens are victims too. As far as BPD, I see black and white yes but everyday I feel grey.

[@user-vb6ky1mo9e]

I do enjoy this format and would like to see more.

[@Nassuklovni]

Thank you for these case studies, they really help people to see the person behind the diagnosis. I've suffered a childhood filled with neglect and abuse also, and have developed a covertly narcissistic personality over time. There is no judgement in your videos. They give people (myself included) hope, that you can heal from these traumas. Many of the other channels who talk about narcissism, make this disorder seem like a untreatable death sentence.

[@tdesq.2463]

Sadly, this has some parallels with my (ex)-Brother-in-Law. Rich parents, but very superficial. Father made $ in Sales, but very Trump-like personality. And clearly, not very proud of his Son. Called him a "Lose" and told "Get a Life" right in front me during my second visit to my future Wife's Family home. It gets much worse. Anyway, seemed clear to both my Wife (his younger Sister) and me that he fit the criteria for what was then called Asperger's Syndrome (now Autism Spectrum Disorder). I wonder if the fellow ("Thomas") in the instant Case Study had been screened for ASD. Might be worth a look. Great Stuff, Doctor. Thx!

[@ashleycnossen3157]

I do like this format, please do more case studies. I've always had compassion for narcissists, knowing that there is a reason they are that way. It's difficult not to have much of an outlet for that compassion.

[@narcsinart7179]

had to cheer for thomas when he took the belt away

[@narcbegone1507]

The belt was a set up by narc mother who WANTED him to have a record. Even wanted to put him in prison! What a way to make sure he never becomes an independent adult. She gets to play victim in public because her son is in jail, AND she gets to control him forever because he is now unemployable and stuck living with her. And can't find an apartment with a record, either. Of course she understood that a 15 year old boy is not going to take a belt beating from a 14 year old girl! That's insane. The one who should have been arrested that day was the mother, because she set the whole thing up! She gave authorization to a "babysitter" to hit her son with a belt?! If that cop had half a brain and used it, he'd call child protection services on the mother. Instead of arresting a teenage boy for not just standing still while someone is trying to hit him. That c*nt belongs in prison.better yet, in a straight jacket.

[@Mira20153]

Dear Dr Grande - this was very interesting indeed, as most of the videos about npd found here on yt, are either from the victim's perspective or the diagnosis criteria of npd. As a non-clinician/non-psychologist/non-psychiatrist, we don't have a lot of insight into case studies like this. Listening to Thomas' story I am realizing once more how damaging this consistent and longterm psychological abuse can be. My cousins and me have a very similar background like Thomas and I am so very grateful for not having turned into a narcissist like my mother. It could so easily have happened after all the neglect and abuse inflicted by our mothers (they are sisters and were abused by their patents) on us. And I am not writing this to get sympathy, but to express the difficult development as a child, teenager and even later in life to turn into a "normal" funtioning adult. Normally, parents show their children how to navigate in life, children of narcs need to find their way all by themselves and at the same time trying not to get nuts from all the abuse. It's not very surprising, that narcissism can be passed on over generations. Hearing Thomas' story, it doesn't come as a surprise, that he's struggling with his life.

[@gsafadi2]

Very sad, but at the same time interesting. You can see the behavior patterns and the cause of them. They are trully creatures born from abuse.