Cats vs. Dogs

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What's better, cats or dogs? Salmon Jack answer the ultimate question, once and for all.
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Read the lyrics below:
Alright, this one's going out to all my dogs
When my first bitch died, you guys stuck with me
I'm a dog man, ask me what's my P.E.T.?
Straight pedigree, I'm down with the D.O.G.
Got love for ma puppy, daily walkie,
Fetch, Heel, sit, stay, Phat rosary
Forget my wife's infertility, it doesn't bother me
Who needs a kid? Seriously. I got ma dog therapy.
And we're a canine collective, brothers til the end
What's it mean to me? Everything. They're man's best friend
I hustle deals for ma dollar, but never on my own
Put my pups on protection, then give a dog a bone
Cos it's a dog's life we're living in, a dog eat dog land
Waggy tails, funky smells, but I got a lead in my hand, fool
I don't give a woof about colour or breed,
I'm a dog man [woof!] and a dog is what I need
But there ain't nothing funkier than funky cat!
Bow wow, bow down now, ciao ciao!
You gotta withhold the woof and drop a funky meow
Right now; because a feline is flipping fantastic
When they fall they land feet first Gymnastic!
They got nine lives but they only need ONE
Cat NIP, cat NAP, getting fat in the sun
Sophistication, it's a cat's elected occupation
First Procrastination, then Assassination.
Precision. Stealth. Teeny weeny glance.
Identify the target, mousey doesn't stand a chance.
Bathtime's hard times, but never with a kitty,
Lick the paw. Rub the face. Forever sitting pretty.
Clean paw; clean face. Hygiene efficiency.
Lights off, dilate pupils efficiently.
It's sure from the shores of Fiji to Haiti
There ain't nothing better than a fluffy C.A.T.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Today we've got to define
What's better? Canine or Feline?
It's gone be fine, breath deep and count slowly to nine,
Then o-pine, on the animal mo' divine
'Urm, well cats look silly on a leash'
'I don't waste food cos my, cos my dog loves quiche'
'My dogshh, shteve & keif, alwaysh shneak off in the treesh'
'I like to chill out with my dog and smoke hashish'
'When you come home from work your dog will lick your face
But a cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place'
'A dog'll say hello, to a dog it doesn't know
With a quick lick down below Before it licks your mouth (Yo)'
'Dogs are annoying because they drool all over you and always need attention.
I live on a farm and dogs are always coming here and pestering our livestock they are a pest.
I hate dogs they are good for nothing unless you train them to be work dogs and even then
they are a problem (we have two sheep dogs)'
Ladies and Gentlemen
The time has come now to define
What's better? Canine or Feline?
It's gone be fine, breath deep and count slowly to nine,
Who's gonna shine? Which animal is mo' divine?
What kind of cat have you got? 'A yellow cat'
And what's your dog? 'A simeon bermese daschhhound terrier cross breed'
Word to my big dog: (Westwood!)
Word to my big cat: (Bengal Leopaaaaarddd!!)
Take a look at YOURSELVES!
There's benefits on both sides
Take a look at YOURSELVES!
You're fighting like ANIMALLLLLS!
There's ups and downs, there's wrongs and there's rights
There's pro's and there's cons, there's right's and there's wrong's
There's rights and there's riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights,
and there's wrongs and there's WRONNNNGGS!
Ladies and Gentlemen
We gathered here today to define
What's better? Canine or Feline?
There both fine, so this argument was rather benign
So now it's time, to resign, and to finish this rhyme.