Romance scam victim speaks out on "psychological manipulation" that cost her $2.5 million

In this web exclusive, “Sue,” a retiree who agreed to speak with CBS News under a pseudonym, says she became a victim of a romance scammer and lost her home and nearly $2.5 million to someone she met on Match.com. She says the fraudsters used technology (including deceptive Skype calls) and “psychological manipulation” to lure her in: “People say, how can you give money to a stranger? He wasn't a stranger at that point." [Don't miss the four-part CBS News Investigation "Anything for Love."]
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[@silentnot4812]

Even in a real relationship, the asking for money should have sent red flags.

[@greg33770]

Exactly !

[@SimoneNC]

These types of women will never learn

[@MichelleT-so4we]

Build up your own house.🌎 Or Diamond jewelry makes NICE collateral.

[@acd1168]

If he asked for $75, it’s fine but not $50k and $100k. That’s crazy stuff

[@lindamattioli7943]

Lack of hygiene experience. You must go with the intervoice

[@BeLoose1]

The strange part is that if her closest relative asked her for $20,000 she probably would have said no.

[@brigittebeltran6701]

💯

[@AnthonyMason-cq9gi]

You have a excellent point.😢😢😢

[@stacyb-r6931]

Bingo

[@rachshred9613]

agreed. however, I have noticed most people in general are only willing to help their significant other. it's not just her.

[@kathe9662]

Absolutely! And so many family are better friends with acquaintances than their own family.

[@jaidenSalinas]

My husband and I was scammed twice last year, totaling losses over $550k. It was a lengthy process involving federal intervention to get our money back. We need more people like Retrievebackteam taking a stand against these criminals. Much love and support from California.

[@Edgardo477]

I got scammed out of my retirement money but I was new to it. thanks for sharing will definitely get in touch with them

[@Chaim127]

There is immense pain in losing a large amount of money but to garner courage to speak about it says a lot about the person’s great character.

[@DrealOtis00]

Thanks for the Info. Got scammed this past week out of 2.25 Bitcoin

[@BubbleMix-96]

jeez u boomers are swimming in money. meanwhile i can barely eat

[@rg2613]

This is insane. Sending 2 million to someone you’ve never met.

[@sableann4255]

I wouldn't send anyone money, even if I've known them 30 years let alone met them online.

[@rg2613]

@@sableann4255 and that’s why you haven’t lost 2 million. It’s hard to feel bad for these people who are so reckless with their money with no ounce of common sense. Hell, even if I had 2 million and it was my sister who wants to borrow that much money from me, I would tell her hells no. Get a loan from the bank.

[@ElizzzaB]

She is not alone. There have been other reports.

[@mariarohmer2374]

It's almost laughable she tries to defend herself. Says he wasn't a stranger. Come on, lady.

[@gracechan1496]

there is no limit to stupidity

[@carolbrennan5]

Sending entire $2mil life savings to someone she’s never met-to the point where she sold her house & became homeless/living in her car-seems an obvious question of mental competency.

[@janetr5929]

My thoughts exactly.

[@AGL01772]

I think it’s time to stop blaming the victim. There is no doubt that this person is mentally competent. However, she was probably lonely and vulnerable. We need to take a look at the fact that there are a few protections in place for consumers. This scammer used a commercial dating website and was able to pull off their scam. we cannot trust that our privacy is protected, or that organizations that sell products have our safety and best interest at heart. This makes us vulnerable to scams. Therefore, instead of making it the victims problem, we need to do more education on how to protect people from these types of situations.

[@BrokeMillionaire1]

@@AGL01772unfortunately, there will never be enough protections to combat people who are so vulnerable and gullible. We will never stop scammers. The only way we can stop it is if we stop allowing ourselves to be victims. Assume everyone is out to scam you until they prove otherwise. You are the only one responsible for your money. I feel so bad for this lady. I hope that someone would have been there to intervene.

[@Kim-yy4zd]

@@AGL01772 what sane person sales their house for a stranger Personal accountability is needed

[@olderandwiser127]

Exactly! How can anyone be that innocent at an advanced age?? She appears to have the maturity level of a teenager.

[@tammycraig7635]

Why isn't a man asking for money a turn off? I don't get it.

[@teacherlisa163]

Watch out, or you will be someone's next target. A man should be able to work and provide for himself - not ask a woman to support him, especially in terms of tens of thousands of dollars at a time.

[@madamebutterfly851]

Right 😅 Total turn off and non negotiable for me. Grown men who can't take care of themselves or have their own money for their own desires are a big no thank you for me. So pathetic.

[@Ididntwantthishandle]

Particularly large sums. A hundred here or there is one thing. This person is bleeding thousands out of you

[@KathleenMcNe]

It would be for me. Next!

[@molliwilson5639]

Anyone asking me for money is a turn off.

[@deedeewinfrey3181]

I'm grateful for my pets. They never ask for money.

[@gointothedogs4634]

They can get costly but I'm grateful for my two dogs !

[@jaxonwilson4722]

That's because I work for them.

[@mane3763]

​@@jaxonwilson4722😂😂😂😂

[@robertblaney5033]

Pets don’t ask for money but they will wipe out your life savings just begging for treats 😂

[@channel23753]

They never ask for money, but they do require it. It's still worth it though.

[@mbecker5400]

How does an "international businessman" need money from someone?

[@yvonne2965]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@B.H.56]

His "account was frozen."

[@gointothedogs4634]

Same reason a 'billionaire' political candidate is begging for money all the time. Because they're scammers.

[@jenniferloftus2363]

@@B.H.56 While traveling. Account frozen while traveling and needs money to get back to the victim or to the next place where they are putting a down payment on a house for the victim, relative sick etc.

[@jackieburleson342]

A person you’ve never met in-person is still a stranger…

[@evanordstrand8585]

So very true 👍

[@roxanab.1626]

Sadly, many many times ... People that are in your life under the same roof for decades can still be strangers to you and even enemies. 😔😮‍💨

[@marytheresejacksonlutz2533]

Exactly!!!!

[@laurawhitaker1797]

Even the ones you marry can end up strangers.

[@annowens5019]

​@@roxanab.1626 ... That Part

[@8ofwands300]

She worked her whole life and made smart financial decisions, only to give it all away in 8 months to a Nigerian teenager who sent her poems he found on line. 😑😑😐😐

[@tabby73]

Good and very true summary

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

That teenager is living like a king now.

[@barb6868]

Teenager?

[@dennykeaton9701]

Well said. Copying and pasting poems he found online. Sadly that's all it took to get her lifetime savings.

[@HoneyLove77]

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S A NIGERIAN? INDIANS, CHINESE, ETC ALL ARE DOING THIS!

[@MissMariQueen]

He was a stranger, dear lady. You never met him.

[@stephenbanks5952]

He doesn't exist

[@mnelson2008]

I've been married and had long term relationships, but I'm single now. And no matter how lonely I get, I am never, ever giving a man money. Ever.

[@ladyvent]

Great cause we don't want to see you on the news!😊

[@rozchristopherson648]

I'm 63 and have never been married or had children. Took care of my elderly parents and grandmother for 17 years. I agree with you totally. No matter what, never give a man money.

[@superdoobo]

Same here as a man. Never give women a nickle and avoid the largest scam ever by woman...Marriage!

[@ladyvent]

@superdoobo🤣a scam huh?

[@superdoobo]

@@ladyvent Correct!

[@tennesseeterri]

Your mistake was in thinking that conversing with a stranger online and phone was a RELATIONSHIP.

[@B.H.56]

social media has made people lose their minds. They think online = real life. When in reality it's like a TV show. Not real.

[@clairebond6958]

She was naive so so sad

[@sierravista9013]

NEVER send men money

[@MoInTheCity03]

NEVER!!!

[@marylynch951]

Men and women

[@MrElliotc02]

Or women.

[@spiritcreek9813]

Or anyone. You want to give your money away? Support your local charities. Food banks, clothing banks, people and animal shelters.

[@newtrollaccount384]

@@marylynch951 It's different and you know it.

[@relationshiprx6820]

"He wasn't a stranger at that point"! say what! No meeting in person, no video chat, no vetting of this person in any way...thats a hard lesson to learn ma'am. It's bizarre that a person can see themselves as trapped and punished when all they needed to do was hit delete.

[@conqueror03]

Well said 👏

[@nancydemoss2945]

This is the reason I go without "love" and "companionship". I'd rather be alone.

[@SarahRenz59]

@nancydemoss2945 Me, too. My motto: I'd rather be lonely than miserable.

[@RawOlympia]

Two cats and one very appreciative rescue doggie ~ we're set!

[@manoramareddy4662]

better choice than be duped smart lady

[@marthawoodworth]

Well, you can always love yourself - unconditionally - and that includes s-x, too, lol. I was happily married for twenty-five years to my soul mate. Since he died, I have not desired any other man I've met. OK, maybe a couple, lol. But no one can take my baby's place and that isn't fair to other men. So I stay alone, sometimes lonely, but have four best friends I can visit and talk on the phone with forever. And single female neighbors - we help each other out when needed. Most of all, I love my work - so life is actually very good. Frankly, I can't afford a man. I have too much work to do, making a living (which I enjoy), doing Pilates, eating well, dancing around my house, shopping, and yakkin' with my bff's. I think I would have missed a man more if I hadn't gotten so much love from my husband.

[@ericb8413]

I knew she was in trouble when she said “I can live with him and be poor”. She had already accepted downgrading after working her whole life. Sad. 😔

[@lu_re7198]

On some level she realized that she’d been scammed but she was still desperately clinging to a thread of hope for love. 😔

[@Onelightoftheworld]

@@lu_re7198 or clinging onto the hope that she would get that money back too.

[@Mario_N64]

Victor Hugo, the writer, said that a woman in love could sleep on the floor and live on bread and water.

[@markmedley6849]

@@Mario_N64 I don't know Victor Hugo, but he is right in this case.

[@jramsey9690]

@@Mario_N64Ah, that “nesting instinct” never goes away.

[@jazziered142]

If they don't want to meet you within 2 weeks, and then they cancel the first time, move on. That is your first clue.

[@lindaabraham8715]

A good clue, but not the first. The first clue is saying all the right things.

[@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453]

Exactly. I don't the understand how they end up like this. It must be some shreds of desperation that makes a person think they are in a "relationship" when they have never met

[@rumblefish9]

I've seen so many videos from Scamfish that you kinda get a picture of the typical victim and the scammer. The victims are usually older, lonely or stuck in unhappy marriages. The scammer has used some poor unsuspecting guy's images to scam the victims and they usually use younger (late 30s, 40s or early 50s), good-looking guys who are in the army/navy/air force or have businesses and travel to so and so places. The real guy has no idea his social media pictures are being used by scammers and when they do it's usually too late. In reality, these men would probably not go for these older women and in reality most of them already have families. But all the victim thinks is there's this younger, handsome guy who is giving me all this attention and love. That's why the victims stick with them. They're getting something out of the scam; whether it's an ego boost, validation or the attention they crave that it completely makes them blind to reason. The manipulation is planned in stages and these scammers have scripts they use and a system in place. And when you ask the victims why they keep sending money even though they have never met the guy or even had a video call with him, they'll say they love him. They're that manipulated.

[@jolyfrye1871]

Their is a big difference between a relationship and an illusion.😮

[@lindaabraham8715]

@@jolyfrye1871 Don't be so sure. Some illusions last a life time.

[@nonabliss]

Anybody who truly cares for you will not ask you for massive amounts of money. IMO, being broke is far worse than loneliness.

[@pamarner5616]

Where were the employees of your bank? Someone there should have questioned these large withdrawals from someone who didn’t spend money like a crazy person … then suddenly starts. Why are the people in this world not looking out for each other????

[@wideawake5630]

Not their responsibility. This is all on her. She was stupid.

[@louhortonsculpture]

They do, and the victim just gets angry with them. They can’t tell her what to do with her own money.

[@RoseRaines]

No warning from a banker not from law enforcement can convince these people that they are being scammed. It reminds me of a cult (pyramid schemes).

[@AkweliParker]

If you work for a financial institution, you undergo mandatory anti-fraud training-you’re taught to question stuff exactly like this, and flag it for review. Original poster is right, someone (besides the victim) was asleep at the wheel.

[@e.e.harrison1357]

Because our world has gone to the dogs. Even Mr. Clavick on the Beverly Hillbillies kept close tabs on their 30 million. A good banker would have said something.

[@AndiAndrea]

There were PLENTY of red flags to warn her.

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

Rich people are just stupid.

[@davidmarks8318]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 sure are!!

[@davidmarks8318]

And how!!

[@acornsucks2111]

The biggest orange flag was men don't fall in love with 70 year old women.

[@barb6868]

@@acornsucks2111Oh how can you say that.? What a stupid thing to say. Someone her age can fall in love with another person the same age.

[@wakeupbell2491]

I was going out with a man I worked with. He asked to borrow $100 so his car could be repaired & pass inspection. Then he started telling me how his mother was sick and he needed to send money back home for medication she needed. I ignored this thinly veiled request for more money. Next payday, I started asking for the $100 he owed me. After I got it, I stop seeing him, never answered his texts again, and quit not long after. THAT is how you deal with a scammer. You do not keep giving them money!!

[@ericb8413]

Fantastic. Glad you ghosted him. Any man who needs a woman’s money has real problems.

[@Raja1938]

That a grown man couldn't swing a $100 expense should've been the first sign that he wasn't a viable dating prospect.

[@wakeupbell2491]

@@Raja1938 True. But it was a casual relationship, not anything serious. Plus, without going into details, he had legitimate reasons to be struggling financially. But I could see through his ploy for money "for his sick mom."

[@kksga5476]

whats his nationality?

[@ValleyoftheRogue]

Shall we give you a cookie or a gold star? So you dodged a bullet, but there are literally millions of men (and some women) who scam women. It is almost the rule when it comes to dating past 25 or 30. Stop blaming victims for being victimized.

[@HildaRealtor]

1st red flag: they dont want to meet in person 2nd red flag: ask you to invest, actually any money involved is a red flag.

[@broadwaybaby348]

This isn't normal.

[@autofocus4556]

Why would you send someone hundreds of thousands when you hadn’t even met them yet? At some point personal responsibility comes into play.

[@AlphaandOmega-mb1wg]

Just can't explain the human mind. Makes no sense

[@caiqueparrot5374]

Don't even give money to people you know. 😮

[@kellycarpenter3021]

Desparate for love

[@chiefrcker]

I know, she is just stupid for sending someone she never met all her life savings

[@tlmas1914]

@@kellycarpenter3021 NOPE STUPID FOR LOVE

[@gerayneharris8045]

If they claim to be a businessman, but they need Your money for their business expenses, that's a BIG red flag. Either they aren't one or they are bad at it.

[@gfunk63901]

I’m still sending money to trump

[@shinyshinythings]

Exactly. Or if they’re constantly “in legal trouble” or “trapped” somewhere.

[@robertkorth2911]

​@gfunk63901 and he will still lose 😂

[@aishanjgirl07]

Exactly, that literally makes no sense

[@WNHTCT]

Or they want you to "invest" in their business

[@bizwiz5742]

I wouldn't give a family member $2.5M; much less a stranger.

[@vondavee1544]

I HAVE SAID THAT A FEW TIMES TO MYSELF WHEN READING AND SEEING THESE WOMEN AND MEN BEING TAKEN OVER.

[@mikemike7096]

The sad thing is most of these what's called romance victims won't loan a dime even to their kids when they need money but they give their entire life savings to a total stranger that doesn't even exist

[@isay207]

Or neighbors friends community charity could have traveled with friends instead of giving it to potential pay for lay

[@Sheyz123]

How kind and brave of her to share this horrendous story 😢

[@t.k3025]

Talking marriage and he isn’t in the same country? Yikes.

[@oliviatrelles]

Agreed. I can’t imagine this happening to anyone I care about let alone her courage to speak about it publicly. Everyone thinks it can’t happen to them but it can and I thank her for sharing so others may set aside their own hubris.

[@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453]

Brave to share, but blind to think that she was in a relationship when they had never met. .if I don't meet after 1 week, I am losing interest. If I don't meet after 2 weeks, I stop replying

[@jawwad1189]

​​​@@oliviatrelles guys go through this all the time spending on women and not getting anything in return what makes her so special?? Gender? I don't get? Is it because the roles are revsered.

[@Gheorghe99]

@@jawwad1189 1. Most guys I know would take a lady out to a nice dinner or maybe even a weekend getaway and if nothing romantically happened that would be the end of that relationship. 2. I'm a dude and never asked a woman for money, regardless of whether she's a longtime friend or we just met.

[@jazziez6467]

as an older retired woman that had plenty of lousy relationships, failed marriage and another marriage ending with hubby od'd and dead I would never send a nickel for anyone let alone $50,000, $100,000 and so on, that is insane on any level

[@desireesalas5820]

Exactly. Every single time she sent these large sums of money to the scammer, she made a conscious decision to do so. She wasn't receiving threats on her life, request for ransom or any other severe form of manipulation. There needs to be some personal accountability here as well.

[@corrinedorsey8024]

I'm not giving 20.00 of my money to just a name on a piece of paper!!!

[@ls-l1518]

​@@desireesalas5820 I agree 100%. But her bank should also have stopped it. Asked her, why are you sending all your money all of a sudden?

[@VeeFoster]

Early on in a relationship, if a man asks a woman for money, that's a red flag.

[@donnamoore193]

For sure never send money for any reason no matter how lonely you are

[@katie0303]

This is incredibly sad. She obviously was vulnerable and naive. Shame of the piece of trash that did this to her.

[@annaclaire9927]

Crazy. Never send money. You hadn't even met the man.

[@keithss67]

Literally the first second anyone you don’t even know asks you for 3 cents, run!

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

You don't need to run, just say no. It's like when a vampire asks to be let into your room, all you have to do is refuse. All the power rests with you.

[@jcook2433]

Yes. The power rests with you. Never a nickel , even if you have begun to know them in person. A person who cannot manage their own life will take you down with them. Hard to be alone? Harder to be alone and ruined.

[@katemarr1984]

​@@anonymous-zn2iv You make valid points; however I'm going offer a slight modification - RUN & Say no! The vampire analogy is 💯 on point.

[@foodie2011]

Vampire 🧛‍♂️. Exactly 💯.

[@superdoobo]

Can I get 2 cents then?

[@deirdrekiely6187]

LIFE LESSON: If you have not met in person, then you're not in a relationship.

[@ananeeva4109]

So true. Those in denial of it will pay the ultimate price :(

[@se_me1756]

Half the time you aren’t in one even if you meet in person. Never ever give a man money. Men do not ask women for money. SMH

[@foreveryoung999]

Even if you have met the person, you aren't in a relationship that qualifies money gifts.

[@jekalambert9412]

Even if you HAVE met in person, it doesn't mean you're in a relationship!

[@Heather-xz8fk]

I got scammed by an old friend from high school. Our mothers were best friends. Turned out he was a liar and a thief. Be careful of old friends from the past who have a financial crisis.

[@Svetlana-says-it-as-it-is.]

This is only my personal experience, I wouldn’t trust most of my school “friends” either or shall say school mates or contemporaries. Mmmm, I don’t know I found things I don’t like, glad I am far away in another country.

[@12larrykathy]

Why would you send money and think you are in a relationship with someone that you NEVER met?? wow

[@annsmith7207]

WOW ! In her head, this guy was not a stranger. Realty check : HE WAS A STRANGER! If she had an active, balanced life, she would have blown him off quite quickly and would have understood she was in a scam. Reality check: she never once met him and yet she thinks he is not a stranger and even worse -- sends money? Seriously? This was an ongoing fantasy in her head that was not at all reality based. Hope she gets the counseling she deserves.

[@Ava2969ny]

The fraudsters know exactly who to target...the elderly or widowed women are the most vulnerable because of loneliness. It's horrible because she spent years of her life preparing for retirement and now she doesn't have money to support herself.

[@bichonbeach3859]

They don’t just target the elderly, they target everyone! Anyone at any time can be a victim. This is a massive problem and with no repercussion for these scammers it will keep on getting worse.

[@VintageLady56]

Yes. This is called Limerence. Can develop into a severe psychological condition. I truly believe this is her case. Very sad.

[@Emm325]

@@VintageLady56💯💯💯

[@MH-xn1nt]

Practice the phrase ‘ that sounds hard. I am sure you will find a solution. No I don’t lend or give money to anyone. I will keep you in my prayers.’

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Give them the phone number to the bank.

[@maryanneborders9602]

Amen. Should be at the front of all 'dating' sites!

[@nonewherelistens1906]

'Santos'? That should have been a clue right there.

[@marilynwillett804]

Over 2 million to strangers. She doesn't seem to blame herself at all. So now she only has her car, i HOPE SHE DRIVES IT TO CHURCH AND FINDS PEACE AND THE LORD.

[@PamDubier]

This woman is so brave to share her story in order to help others.

[@AGL01772]

Agree. I like your comment. Not much compassion in these comments here. Lots of judgment.

[@ellebell9139]

​@@AGL01772the internet is younger than this woman. Literally, ok. ... This is the actual first ever scam people started doing on the internet. Its the reason people were warning everyone about online dating way back in the day. The judgement comes from the fact that it is common knowledge that people will fake being in love with you online to get your money. Its why catfishing became a thing....... She is too old to not be aware of this.

[@xana5649]

​@@AGL01772nobody respect fools

[@s.e.3252]

No, she's not sharing her story to help others, she's making hwrself a victim so someone rescues her!

[@PamDubier]

@@s.e.3252 I missed the part where she asked for money or lodging or a car or --

[@i-dash]

Love bombing is one of the top telltale signs of a scammer. Definitely when they start asking for money - cut it off. Block them whatever you need to do. It’s easy to believe it when you’re lonely and you WANT to. I wish her well on her recovery financially, emotionally and psychologically.

[@sie4431]

Not just a scammer but an abuser too

[@jolyfrye1871]

NEVER feel like u have 2 B N A relationship to feel complete. I'd rather have 2 million dollars in my bank account.💸 💸 💸

[@i-dash]

@@jolyfrye1871 💯

[@rumblefish9]

@@i-dash I've seen so many videos from SocialCatfish/Scamfish that you kinda get a picture of the typical victim and the scammer. The victims are usually much older, lonely or stuck in unhappy marriages. The scammer has used some poor unsuspecting guy's images to scam the victims and they usually use younger (late 30s, 40s or early 50s), good-looking guys who are in the army/navy/air force or have businesses and travel to so and so places. The real guy has no idea his social media pictures are being used by scammers and when they do it's usually too late. In reality, these men would probably not go for these older women and in reality most of them already have families. But all the victim thinks is there's this younger, handsome guy who is giving her all this attention and love. That's why the victims stick with them. They're getting something out of the scam; whether it's an ego boost, validation or the attention they crave that it completely makes them blind to reason. The manipulation is planned in stages and these scammers have scripts they use and a system in place. And when you ask the victims why they keep sending money even though they have never met the guy or even had a video call with him, they'll say they love him. They're that manipulated.

[@paulamitchell1653]

But never blame yourself for being a kind and generous person… pple are just low

[@GradKat]

How on earth could you send two MILLION dollars to a person whom you’d never met? I hope I am never that lonely.

[@darcy5761]

Or gullible

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Get. A. Dog.

[@KathleenMcNe]

"Sue" still doesn't get it. She says she and "Santos" had a "dating relationship." They did not. They never even met. She says he wasn't a stranger. Yes, he was. The level of naivete of people who allow themselves to be duped by romance scammers is astonishing. That she gave anyone -- much less a stranger she never met -- her entire life savings of $2+ million is mind-numbing. I am 66 and retired, never married, and have a net worth of $14 million. If anyone asked me for money, I'd be gone instantly and never look back. I can't imagine being so lonely and desperate that I'd hand my life savings to anyone. I do feel sorry for "Sue." She's going to be under tremendous financial stress for the remainder of her life. And the anguish of knowing she gave all of her hard-earned money to a criminal must be overwhelming.

[@georgecuster527]

A smart person learns from their mistakes but a brilliant person learns from others mistakes .

[@willissudweeks1050]

There are no smart nor brilliant people who could fall for this in the first place. No need for an example.

[@maritesshoy317]

@@willissudweeks1050 - showing the whole internet that you are neither & couldn't possibly know w/ that comment. 😜

[@lindaabraham8715]

@@willissudweeks1050 Loneliness will override smartness.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@maritesshoy317 No it’s called having common sense and most people have it.

[@willissudweeks1050]

@@lindaabraham8715 Not with everyone. There’s a degree of silliness in falling for this stuff.

[@KS-kr4ok]

NEVER EVER give money to someone you are dating. You can buy travel tickets and take them along if you want, but NEVER EVER give them money.

[@strawberryseason]

yes, yes, yes.

[@RippleDrop.]

What do you think, is it okay if you are in a relationship?

[@KS-kr4ok]

@@RippleDrop. NO NO NO. The scammer convinces the mark they are in a relationship. Then comes the sad scam story to steal money. A few dollars, not more than $20 maybe. If they need money because they lost their passport or need money to escape a problem to come see you blah blah blah, it is always a scam.

[@goldenparachute392]

Realistically she wasn’t dating this person. They had never met.

[@gointothedogs4634]

@@goldenparachute392 Well she thought they were in a relationship. Same thing.

[@kathykay6602]

They only communicated by email and text. That was the first red flag.A BIG ONE!

[@mildredpierce4506]

Didn’t they say by phone as well?

[@Cos263]

Why are people so sexist? My co-worker’s 66 year old ex-husband fell for a scam like this, so it’s not only women.

[@e.e.harrison1357]

It goes both ways, I agree!

[@gointothedogs4634]

We're not, there have been comments about men too, but it's far more common with women.

[@Ms_Sharpie]

Women are more open to talking about it when it happens to them.

[@rominagresely526]

It's true. My brother in law was scammed of his $300,000 Publix retirement.

[@bertmunoz7100]

"Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone." Shouldn't this be the very first thing? This should be a warning for everyone. If this scammers are so good at what they do, people should be aware of this before they hit their 70's or 80's.

[@willissudweeks1050]

And even if you get manipulated a few times I don’t see how you could give away EVERYTHING.

[@kimbok5971]

Are the scammers good at what they do or do we still have an extremely gullible society? I just can't believe the amounts of money she shelled out for someone she'd never met.

[@bertmunoz7100]

I'm a fan of the show "AMERICAN GREED" and is always fascinating what people of all generations are willing to believe just to be part of something. On TV there are commercials for products that are clearly a scam, but as long as the Networks post a disclaimer they avoid culpability.

[@B1LL9465]

The fact that she was willing to live with him even if she was poor 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@OldSchool4U]

A female senior friend in my 55+ retirement community is currently in a “relationship” with a “solar installer German man who supposedly is an international traveler. Like “Sue” in this video, my friend has never been married. She lives alone and owns her own home. I’ve sent her numerous romance scammer stories including this one! It’s been a year of her online romance and his numerous excuse making no shows. It’s baffling. My friend is a highly educated woman with a MSW degree. She should know better. And didn’t answer my past questions about giving her fantasy scammer money 💰. It’s downright unbelievable how emotionally hooked some people become when their fantasy misconceptions overpower common sense & logical thinking!

[@ritaroad]

I read that if you retire on 1.3 million you’re comfortable. If you retire on 2.3 million you’re wealthy. Where was her financial advisor? If I wanted to withdraw such sums mine would be all over this.

[@genxx2724]

How much do you pay your financial advisor? How long have you had them, and what did they do for you?

[@conqueror03]

Where was everybody in her life, friends, family??

[@SarahRenz59]

@ritaroad Also, where was her bank? My bank puts a stop on my debit card the one time a year I buy jewelry from a lady based in Texas; she rents a booth at the WI State Fair every year. I have to call them and answer all the security questions to prove that yes, it's me making the purchase. My bank would probably send me a fraud alert if they suddenly saw large amounts of money disappearing from my accounts.

[@xana5649]

Exactly

[@drinny26]

Psychological manipulation. Absolutely terrible. I feel so sorry for this woman.

[@toniacollinske2518]

What a horrible lesson to learn.

[@TheSouthIsHot]

She explained so well how these scammers manipulate their victims' minds. Guard your minds, your hearts, your bodies, and your lives.

[@lindaslattery8341]

And your wallet

[@TheSouthIsHot]

@@lindaslattery8341 Yeah, that too!👍🏻

[@leanordials8008]

This is what parents need to teach their children!

[@marylynch951]

​@@leanordials8008 Agree 💯

[@cocatfan]

Only gullible people fall for this.

[@ztomas1]

Why on Gods green earth would you EVER send money to someone you've never met in person?

[@debrariat6884]

this is just so unbelievable that a person can be this naive and gullible

[@micheal-lz3kl]

I can not feel sorry for her, this is beyond stupid. She was so desperate for love she gave him EVERYTHING. She should have spent that money on a therapist.

[@mary_puffin]

I am so very sorry for this lady. She fell victim because of a desire for love and marriage, which she hadn't realized earlier in her life. In the end, she lost her hope for companionship and all her money. Yes it was naive of her but it was innocent. She is very brave to share this story. I cannot fathom the cruelty of the people who do this scamming.

[@wildmountainthyme4123]

The cruelty of these scammers is overwhelming. I think Sue was so brave to tell her story, and I pray that she finds peace.

[@teacherlisa163]

They are sociopaths and have no souls.

[@missmiss9539]

I pray she gets her money back and god brings her love

[@brooklyn3299]

She really needs to sue that company eharmony company! They led her to believe that these were REAL people. If they can’t vet the people in their site, then at this point that stupid site is a Craigslist Ad.

[@Glen-uy4jt]

You see it as cruelty but they see it as a gold mine without the hard physical work. The internet is digital, it is a form of obscure communication. I mean if you get asked for 250,000 dollars once and they do not have a payback schedule, then they ask for more, to fall for that is outright stupidity. Do not let your emotions rule your life.

[@dianel6874]

My mother taught me growing up to don't let people f*** with your money. She taught me this way before the internet. Sorry this happened to you.

[@leanordials8008]

Good mom!

[@bradfordjhart]

She's a smart woman

[@greg33770]

Yep ! Same way I was brought up !

[@gointothedogs4634]

You were lucky. My mother was so desperate to see me married that she put my life in danger numerous times, starting when I was in High school. I finally quit all contact with her until I realized she was dying. By then I wasn't her focus.

[@melaniemiller9037]

It's so hard to believe this is still happening after so many women have come forward to talk about this theft!

[@valeriagude903]

I'm sorry....I still don't understand how this happens. You ask me for $20 and a prayer I'm 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️💨💨 😂😂😂😂

[@TheRealWickedMelon]

"He wasn't a stranger at this point" sorry to tell you, he damn well was

[@rozchristopherson648]

I agree. But she felt she met him through a reputable daring site. So her guard was done.

[@gee_emm]

He still is a stranger. She has no idea who she was emailing or speaking to and Santos was a fictional character. She never met anyone. There was no Santos to ever meet!

[@gee_emm]

@@rozchristopherson648Dating sites are full of freaks, weirdos and liars. It shouldn't take longer than 5 minutes to realise that!

[@tinydream]

@@gee_emmit was likely a team working together in Nigeria, statistically speaking that’s the most likely with romance scams.

[@mr.d.572]

It's amazing how often this is happening these days. Even with many public warnings, people still fall for it.

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

Scammers are very convincing.

[@user-dc8sp2hp2v]

This shows how the need to feel loved and needed can override our rational minds. This has nothing to do with intelligence. It's much more profound.......

[@maryseman7019]

A "successful international businessman" should never need your money. Personally, I would never give my money to any man. If he has the gall to ask you for your money, tell him to take a hike. Remember, a fool and her money are soon parted, so don't be a patsy.

[@chrisb7142]

My heart goes out to her. What an awful lesson to learn in your 60's...I hope she'll be okay.

[@wildmountainthyme4123]

I feel the same way. What a heartbreaking situation. I'm grateful she has such compassionate friends.

[@davidmarks8318]

60s? She looks 79

[@backtoasimplelife]

It sounds like she was a high-income earner, and she has to be getting social security benefits. If not, then she's going to have to get back to work. I wonder if she can get a part time job and build her savings back up. Sad story and this is so common. I pray for her to be well more each day.

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

She is a smart woman when it comes to business. I am sure she can stay afloat. She may not retire a multi millionaire but she will be ok.

[@yvonne2965]

It’s so sad

[@BrokeMillionaire1]

Whether someone is a stranger or not, do NOT send money to ANYONE. PERIOD. The moment they ask you for money, end all communication.

[@loudwatersrunshallow]

While I cannot imagine being so trusting of a total stranger, I can imagine how vulnerable she was to the idea that after 60+ years of being alone, it was finally her turn.

[@NoNameNumberTwo]

I appreciate her speaking out, I pray that her sharing her story helps at least one person. 🙏🏽

[@martareitmajer]

Good thing I don’t have any money so I don’t attract any scammers.

[@kimmyescada5470]

Same🤣🤣🤣

[@stephanieames66]

DITTO.

[@alicepopovski3643]

Exactly

[@user-eu2me4bp7j]

😂😂😂

[@lindahathaway3519]

A very good reason to appear as if one has no money.

[@bisket2003]

2.5 mill............... AND a house! Yeasus.

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

For someone so smart when it comes to business, she sure is naive about other things.

[@MegaAtomium]

Too bad these girlfriends didn't warn her sooner.

[@avengingemmapeel]

You do not know somebody you have never met in person, and you STILL don't know them until you spend a lot of time with them. A "businessman" should not need your money, but, if you are asked, you are not a bank. The answer is hell to the no!!!!!!!

[@seriouslyreally5413]

1. I wouldn't "loan" more than $1000 to even a friend because that can ruin a wonderful friendship. and 2. Never loan more than you can afford to strike a match to and set on fire, even for a friend. Even friends can disappoint you and you want to be able to walk away knowing you still protected your future. Loaning or giving money away is like gambling at a casino, it's entertaiment, not a financial decision. The house always wins.

[@BellaFirenze]

Gullibility and desperation. Some women in their sixties and older believe a much younger person has fallen in love with them. They send them money. They believe far-fetched stories. They lose all logic and common sense. Yes, she is a victim and he is a terrible person. However, she fell for a scam because she was desperate to be with someone.

[@carmarasmussen8118]

I understand loneliness but I will never ever understand why anyone would send all of their hard earned money to someone they haver NEVER MET. Makes absolutely no sense. 😮😳

[@user-sc9lr6kz8t]

I'm sad she was lonely and felt that "Santos" was just the guy to fill that void.

[@lkd06]

​@@carmarasmussen8118maybe dementia ?

[@user-nv8nt6gm2d]

Get a dog. Better than any man, and dogs love to cuddle, unlike most men.

[@lindahathaway3519]

@@soutinefan 🤣🥰

[@Cristinact]

Poor woman... but there are PLENTY of similar cases out there to be learned from. Still, we all say "not me" at least once in a lifetime. Tough lesson.

[@susanne1756]

This is nauseating that a seemingly intelligent woman would be this desperate. The single women that I know would Never fall for this type of a scam. They wouldn't even buy a guy a drink, let alone send him money. You'd have to be living under a rock to not know about these scams.

[@darrellyelity3648]

Why would anybody send money to someone who they never met in person is beyond me.

[@anonymous-zn2iv]

Love is blind.

[@judd442009]

Hopefully, "Sue's" story will help others avoid the scam she suffered.

[@pamreneejones]

Every time I see these videos I say "I hope it will be this one to deter the next one or even the masses" but it seems these stories placed end to end could wrap the globe a million times over. Imagine the ones too embarrassed to even tell. 💔

[@ninam.1560]

What about the millions of other stories out there about this? The problem is they don't want to listen...you can't help them! They need someone to take over their life choices and finances...not Boyfriends or Girlfriends

[@janetr5929]

It won’t. These women can’t be helped.

[@marinam.2293]

Sadly, people aren't likely to learn from mistakes of others. Our own experiences tend to mean much more to us.

[@VioletEvans-yt2fd]

Nope. There are hundreds who are sending money to their new loves as I type this response.

[@rasta487]

Mam, thanks for being willing to share your story. You are helping people. Try to ignore all the folks who have it all figured out. They're usually the ones who've been through something similar or something you'd never do.

[@ElleCestAngel]

Sue, thank you for bravely telling your story. Blessings to you.

[@candy123444]

Really?? Someone you never met isn't a stranger? This is simply desperation ladies. Smh..

[@hildeschmid8400]

They tried that with me almost 10 years ago, but I figured it out somehow, and walked away with my mind intact. I was extremely lucky. I feel for this woman. They make up a name, a place where they live, and what they do. If they say their widowed, no matter how old they are, walk away.

[@shinyshinythings]

I get messages from strangers sometimes on Fb, they see my profile and assume I’m alone or something, and they tell me they like my profile or comments and they’re a retired surgeon (they’re always surgeons, haha). I block and report them. I feel so sad for the women who don’t know how to recognize scammer messages, wherever they’re from.

[@gointothedogs4634]

One started calling me in the middle of the night claiming he was in the military in Afghanistan. Apparently when my neighbor's phone was hacked, he'd found my number and photo. Amazing that I was able to figure out he was Nigerian - true story - called him on it and told him if he continued, I'd contact the FBI. That was the end of his calls. But he started out with some complimentary comments that were red flags. Plus he sent a photo of himself, claiming to be a real person here in the states. I found the real guy's info and realized there were just enough discrepancies that I knew he was a scammer.

[@kjweldon6004]

This is heartbreaking. Regardless of whether she should have sent anyone money, it's just sick that someone could do this to another individual. Sick people!!

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Definitely be suspicious of someone who keeps gushing over how much they like you in the early stages. That's lovebombing. There's no way I'm sending a guy money either.

[@paulgdlmx]

A fool and her money are soon parted.

[@UncleDavesKitchen]

So sorry this keeps happening to good people that want a relationship. The internet has made a big world small. We lock our doors but open up our homes to crooks through the computer anyway. It's not only the guy outside your house that's scary but the ones you let in via the internet, too.

[@ericb8413]

Well said!

[@sollunaystars]

She should be speaking out on “ACCOUNTABILITY” not deflecting with “psychological manipulation”. These stories always annoy me because it’s the same bs with the woman blaming the scammer for her behavior and desperation.

[@silvermainecoons3269]

Why would the secret service be involved in romance scams?

[@darcy5761]

That was my question!

[@linnieroots8223]

Yeah that sounds like another layer of the scam.

[@serahloeffelroberts9901]

Funding possible terrorist organizations

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

My husband of 40 years died in early 2014. In late 2016 I joined OK Cupid. 3 men tried to romance me. Messaging me that we would have a wonderful life together ! What before talking on phone or meeting in person? This was a clue something was not right. I had to pressure each one to speak on the phone and when they called they ALL had accents ! The next step would be them asking for money but I told each one scram once I heard the accents. Why in the world would would any woman send $ to a stranger? Desperate much? I was lonely but not desperate!

[@ericb8413]

Did they call you their ‘queen’? That’s a dead giveaway. Glad you didn’t get scammed. 😊

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

@@ericb8413 -ha ha no they didn't say that! I copied a romance scam warning off the FBI website and posted it on my profile and I told them to read it and BUG OFF!

[@TheQueensWish]

These dating sites have become the digital hunting grounds of these scammers. For a small membership costs it opens them up to a pool of potential victims.

[@Emm325]

@@TheQueensWishexcept more and more they use Facebook, it doesn’t take much more than common sense to ask oneself why are they writing random people, saying “you’re so pretty, please respond” or some other similar response. I can’t believe this lady…🤦‍♀️

[@TheQueensWish]

@@Emm325 Well of course, that’s even cheaper. It’s free isn’t it? And … they can sift through their targets info looking at photos and old posts and mining them to open conversations: “You like dogs! Oh my dog will love you!” “Oh, do you like lakes? Let me teach you stand up paddle boarding when the weathers nice …. if you’re adventurous.” etc, etc … they mirror whatever they observe of you to get their foot in the door.

[@billtruttschel]

If you haven't met in person, then they are still a stranger.

[@s.e.3252]

The biggest problem is that she is not taking responsability for her desperation that led her to believe that was a relationship.

[@cm8899xx]

Thanks to this brave woman for sharing her story. Luckily, I have a successful career, but that also means I can painfully relate to the emotional emptiness that comes with it. Being professionally successful and financially responsible your whole life is tiring. And as stupid as it may sound to some of you, a sweet poem in the morning can be very powerful over an exhausted mind. Stop blaming the victim. Shame on those who take advantage of someone’s love for them.

[@jeanetteschock4744]

Wow. 2 million dear lord

[@vicster52]

If you meet a person online and all they do is ask for money, that's your clue to run.

[@conqueror03]

This still happens today, the show Catfish has people giving thousands of dollars to people they never met, some never even heard their voice and for years!

[@mfilteau10]

Scary that she was an hospital executive! Yeah, we are in good hands...

[@janetr5929]

She probably needed psychiatric or medical help before this started . These are not the actions of someone in their right mind.

[@catherinethemba]

Not too bright lady. As soon as they ask for money end it.

[@celieneohara521]

She must have told him at some point how much money she had. He didn't even start out with a low dollar request! There should be a HUGE full-page warning on EVERY dating site.

[@DillDough4u]

I feel sorry for this lady, but the person was a stranger. She never met him yet continued sending thousands at a time. If you’re manipulated that easily from having millions to zero, then there’s something internally wrong with you.

[@robinr71]

She started off sending HUNDREDS of thousands., to a total stranger, love bombing and copy and pasting poems to her. Saying they love you a week into the "relationship". WTF is wrong with people???

[@Lynn.B.]

You have the luxury of being judgmental and making that assessment. Given that you're obviously so superior to her, please don't expect any empathy should you one day fall prey to a scam.

[@DillDough4u]

@@Lynn.B. I won’t expect any sympathy because that will never happen to me. I’m not gullible or stupid.

[@Lynn.B.]

@@DillDough4u "...because that will never happen to me." Famous last words.

[@DillDough4u]

@@Lynn.B. 😘

[@laurawalker4042]

I would even question a good friend asking me for money