Change Old Relationship Patterns By Prioritizing Your Healing Work

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hello Subscribers: Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing. One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating. Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning! As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on KZbin. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through. I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly. That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on KZbin. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos. If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions ____ Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships. The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met. While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response. Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz ____ I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives. When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work. You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive. Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community ____ Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate ____ Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos. And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!” Best regards, Alan Robarge Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist www.alanrobarge.com/

[@ChanceBerryman]

I joined the membership community. It’s only $27 a month right now. For me, it’s well worth it.

[@husnas.7772]

Ashley Davis post back and let us know how it’s working! I’m thinking of joining.

[@Karina_Engr]

First of all THANK YOU AR!! 20:23 Creating Focus Statements 21:17 Part 1 20:02 Part 2 23:13 Part 3 24:28 Part 4

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

This is a good time stamp list. Thank you. I'm glad you like this video.

[@rockinrrh]

I am so very grateful for the community. The PTS and the support from the individuals was wonderful. I realized I had a very low emotional IQ and was raised with a very loving mother but who was in capable of listening. Or giving me much time to engage. Healing from attachment issues was highly important to me. I can’t actually read the text to speech thing has written. But mainly I hope it expresses my gratitude. I also wanted to express how grateful I am to have someone just explain what emotional unavailability is.

[@Seamstressy]

I found it impossible to ignore or avoid my issues when confronted by my partner's affair. There was no distraction possible. I find learning about psychology very comforting and healing. Thank you for your videos as part of my healing process. I'm also working with a therapist to help train up my inner therapist :)

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my videos. I am glad you benefit from them. Support my work by joining other like-minded learners in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. www.alanrobarge.com/community We talk about our self-directed healing work and changing patterns of relating.

[@oldsoulisme]

Your delivery and work is like gold for me at this time. Thank you!

[@mml1975_]

When will you write a book? 😊

[@nathanyungerberg4925]

I second that!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks to you both for the supportive comment and for valuing my videos. It's good to know how impactful my work is for you. As for the book, I don't have a specific date in mind, but it is something I'm interested in pursuing. In the meantime, however, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution, checking out my course, and/or joining us in the Community. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality content. Click on the links to learn more: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again for letting me know that my work is helpful!

[@PamelaSConleyArtist]

I'm so lost that I don't even know how to identify what I'd put for ANY of the A,B,C, or D.

[@BeLoveUnconditional]

Bless you tremendously for being such a radiant healing guide!

[@chosilyfala1483]

Good morning. Je regarde vos vidéos depuis près de 3 ans. Vos vidéos ont " l'art de remuer le couteau dans mes plaies", et de m' obliger, vraiment l'obliger a aller voir ce qu'il y a dedans et a nettoyer ce que je peux_ souvent avec beaucoup de sanglots. Je suis en train de pleurer en écrivant tout ¢a.tout ce nettoyage m'a libérée de beaucoup de souffrances. Un très très grand merci a vous. Je vous souhaite une très bonne annee pleine de joie et de bonheur , a vous et a votre famille. Merci.

[@jenniferdennison8315]

2024.. still amazing information 😊

[@merlisist]

Your knowledge is gold!!!!! Thank you Alan p.x

[@bethanywhite7135]

Thank you for your work Alan.🙏🏼

[@wagz2003]

All of these videos are so great, and the work is well thought out and effective. Hopefully there is a program you offer to help people in the therapy field to better their practice! I'd love to take!

[@annetteljungberg1288]

Thank you so much Alan for your inspiring videos, they are helping me a great deal. With love and grattitude from Denmark

[@dr.elysetursi]

Thanks so much for all your virtual support.

[@gapmerayo]

Thank you for you’re special conferences You are the best… Thank you for being there with opportune words Thank you

[@merlisist]

Simply the best Alan!!!! Thank you friend!!! p.x

[@nin9249]

Alan you are a living angel thank you so much 💜💜💜

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the kind words. Thank you for valuing my work. Also, you're welcome to join us in our conversations on this topic in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@roxanarios2870]

I love these videos as they’re super informative but there’s sometimes so much dread that they inspire :/

[@waitwaitwaitgo]

relatable

[@ameliaetienne8521]

I know the feeling but once you figure out the root…. Which you will.. everything just feels better

[@hopelittwin]

Love your channel - thank you for these videos!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hope Littwin, Thank you for valuing my material. I’m glad this resonates with you. I am always happy to receive feedback that what you find here is helpful. You might be interested in the community I created around this material as well. The solution to healing attachment injuries is to do our healing work. There is not a simple, quick-fix answer. Emotional, Relational, Developmental Healing Work is dynamic and has many chapters depending on our individual needs. The areas of focus I suggest are exploring Attachment Trauma, Emotional Attunement, Family Patterns, Boundaries and Sense of Self, Shame and Self-Worth, Longing and Loneliness, Reality Distortion, Grieving and Grieving Skills. These are the areas that inform the design of the membership community I created, Improve Your Relationships. You are invited to join other like-minded learners who value mapping out a plan of self-directed healing and want to share their insights with others. We are a kind, supportive group of folks committed to changing old patterns of relating. Please know you are welcome to be part of the community. You can learn more and register here: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@Raina430]

Thank you Alan, this was the most succinct and well thought out description of the trauma healing process I’ve ever heard! I’d love to join the group, tho I’m too ill right now. Best wishes. ❤🎃🎃

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my efforts to offer explanation. Glad this is helpful. Hope you feel better soon.

[@lawadm1]

How many people are in the membership community, and can you join anytime?

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hello. Currently 170. And Yes, you can join at any time. Did you check out the details? www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@rachelaknight]

Your work is fabulous X

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks Rachel. I am glad it resonates.

[@charlesbaldwin7037]

Thank u for your work and sharing

[@skatz1717]

Is this download no longer available. Does anyone have the link?

[@timhails2163]

Thank you Alan

[@williambilly3269]

Ive just been going around in circles in my head, I'm certain my x is having an affair with my x business partner. I just feels like my whole life as been a lie I feel so drained and empty

[@_Solmega]

William billy Sorry. Hope you've found direction and clarity.

[@yoongis.tangerine]

hopefully ur doing better now

[@karenrouth2056]

ADMIN unable to find /sdhfocus Alan suggests - thank you

[@shm2594]

Thank you!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

You're welcome. Since you liked this video you might also be interested in taking The Four Attachment Distress quiz to find out your response to relationship stress: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz

[@one-eyedwanderer6769]

Thank you. :)

[@rosemarymaher6726]

Very good

[@amandataylor1333]

Thank you

[@fergommir8262]

Hello Dr. The page is not available! Can you please send the form to my email? Thank you so much

[@brookemeisel5384]

I would love to join the program but I don’t think I could afford it is the issue

[@Mrlimabean01]

Hi Alan. I’m having a hard time applying your model to the work. Is there another video where you go more in depth as to what A and B specifically might look like for people with different attachment temperaments, or even a process to figure out what they would look like for individuals? (Anxious-preoccupied would be most helpful)

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I created an 8-week structure to explore in the community, Improve Your Relationships. Here is more info if you want to join us: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@lulumcgee5486]

Can you say how long the $27 promotional rate is good for? One month? Two months? Thanks!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

It's not scheduled to change any time soon. Maybe 6 months. Maybe a year. Thanks for your interest in joining.

[@lulumcgee5486]

Thank you for the quick reply. I appreciate all your videos; they have really helped me tremendously! Your work is really insightful and meaningful. Thank you!

[@ajay8521]

What is the name of you group on Facebook

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

It no longer exists. I have a membership community now www.alanrobarge.com/community You are welcome to join us.