Church abuse scandal: my dad the abuser

The words of John Smyth’s son PJ - one of his earliest victims - in an exclusive interview with this programme.
(Subscribe: bit.ly/C4_News...)
The Makin review detailed Smyth's horrific abuse of those he met at public schools and Christian summer camps. What is less well known, is how Smyth senior controlled and abused his own family, who are only now facing up to the devastating toll on their lives.
Warning, this report contains extremely distressing details.
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[@Saintsand_sinners]

I'm in tears watching this, I wish with all my heart that all children who have suffered abuse could be healed and filled with peace and love.

[@Suzyfromtheblock]

@@Saintsand_sinners the church has a lot to answer for,

[@truthdisciple9379]

​​​@@Suzyfromtheblocklet's not pretend it's only Christian churches..abuse particularly sexually abuse is prevalent in ANOTHER religion ALOT more commonplace also in .."high up positions " politicians, the rich the famous..wake up..its not Bout the Church..its about people particularly males in positions of power!! 99% of ppl in Christian Churches are genuine believers with good characters.. .ask yourself how often we here about something like this..the dad was mental but..he is not the typical pastor..most pastor try and follow the teachings of Christ....do some research

[@YeahThatPart]

It’s hard, but a good support system helps. But it’s always there. You never heal, you just learn to live with it🙏

[@clearvisionsecret8952]

@@YeahThatPartMy brother had a friend who was r*Ped when he was in catholic school by the time he had a settlement he became a drug addicted so sad

[@Eric-ot7en]

Isn’t it shocking. The most fundamental thing among all adults is to protect children. A shocking failure of all the adults, we are surely lost as a species.

[@katekestrel656]

So difficult to accept one was abused. His parents and his church. How amazing is this man. Much healing love to him and his family.

[@OrbvsTomarvm]

u sily plonka der wos more dan one dat wos abuse , he abuse millons an got da way wif it , .! ,

[@carolinebennett5615]

@@OrbvsTomarvm The commenter used ‘one’ as meaning a person in general. The commenter did not mean only one person was abused. You are correct, it was lots more than one, but that’s not what the commenter meant. It’s easy to make that mistake from the alternative use of ‘one’ so I’m writing this to just make it clear that nobody is saying there weren’t many victims - there were.

[@OrbvsTomarvm]

@@carolinebennett5615 yeah, i was just being a tvvat 🤗

[@pbohearn]

@@OrbvsTomarvmWTF ARE YOU BILL SIKES NOW?

[@OrbvsTomarvm]

@@pbohearn Whatever that means, i'm sure it's true.

[@mikedtw]

This is confusing: it had to be his mother keeping track of his "misdeeds" in that black book and still she did so knowing he'd get a beating after his Dad came home. Mum and Dad are BOTH monsters.

[@tomsummer5336]

💯 yes what an old bat telling on him

[@alwhyte6533]

His mother was probably gaslit and coerced into the behaviour. While her behaviour may seem, on the surface, to be 'evil', we can only speculate as to whether she was a willing participant or had been groomed to do it through years of manipulation and control.

[@debracarlson5511]

I was thinking EXACTLY what you have stated in your comment. Mom did NOT share in protecting her son and other children.

[@hexxan007]

I suppose she was a victim as well. Nevertheless, as a grown up she failed to protect her children.

[@Graham-zh4cp]

I agree some mother this one she's just as bad as his dad

[@leighharwood3886]

Mr. Smyth, thank you for coming forward. You are very brave. Doing therapy after abuse is very hard. I wish you all the best.

[@jayes776]

PJ this is not your fault. You were the innocent son of an evil father. I hope you can learn to move forward and heal with your family. Change yoyr surname to that of your wife if that could possibly help you, but stop shouldering his blame.

[@Suzyfromtheblock]

❤ god bless him terrible

[@BlackStump172]

@@jayes776Smyth is a common name , but he is obviously bravely going public .

[@andyb4579]

@@jayes776 yes, be released from this torture, you did your best, you are free now.

[@carolyndaly9368]

Very brave man and to be admired. He is bringing light to a very very dark time in his life. He was literally almost destroyed by his evil father. The only bit I wonder is if his father endured the same abuse as a child and passed it down to his own children. His son rose above the terror.

[@julialucas1482]

Child abuse is the worst thing humans do to each other. A global effort to end child abuse is needed.

[@SussexRoyal]

Just a shame that many ‘leaders’ in the Church don’t see this abuse as anything to shout about. It’s almost like they accept this behaviour as normal

[@athelstan927]

Just imagine what those girls, tens and tens, and tens of thousands of them who were raped often gang raped by abusers from a protected group in society, and still does today! Protected by Starmer, Channel 4 BBC etc etc!! They don't get an interview with 'cathy' and Channel 4! What do you think of this?

[@Dion_Mustard]

Sadly it will never stop. It has been going on since the "dawn of man" and it will continue because as horrible as this sounds, it is part of human nature. It's the most horrific part of human nature and I will never understand it nor do I wish to think about it, but just as in the animal kingdom when animals harm other animals, we do the same, yet you would think we would have a moral compass and stop it. It won't stop. But we can at least try. :(

[@abundantlove2425]

This is why God is not in the Church HE IS in the HEART ❤️

[@mrnice7570]

​@@abundantlove2425AMEN ❤bless you 🙏 x

[@sarahbrinley7501]

What a brave man to do this interview. I wish you peace.

[@luukkoffeman]

PJ, I grew up in your church in South Africa. You were always wise and strong. This interview has shown more strength and respect than I could imagine. God bless you and the family. Thank you for sharing something so painful, deep and complicated. Such honesty is needed in Christian communities.

[@alison155]

Big hugs.. wish i have words to make things better

[@Palmstreet-u7x]

What church is that in South Africa

[@leilaoksanen5142]

❤

[@kookietherapy9398]

Lovely Testimony

[@TeeJayNZ]

@@Palmstreet-u7xyes the world should know that church this is !

[@deborahjohnson9093]

You’re an amazing man to have survived all of this terrible abuse. Wishing you love, continued healing and happiness.

[@ivoperic3992]

He is a fraud. Suffering of children is in Gaza.

[@JuneRowe-ny2ze]

😢 sending loving hugs to you sir ❤

[@schanychamemphis1327]

The picture of you as a child is beautiful. You are amazing and I am so sorry you were hurt.

[@chipashamoyo6435]

Goodness, a black book recording all a child's wrong doings??we..

[@MrSOLOPIANIST]

Searingly honest and courageous interview. What a brave soul. He has suffered so much. A very powerful testimony

[@lottielane2486]

I'm amazed at how normal his son is after what he's been through. !

[@shardlake4444]

​@@lottielane2486yes but you can see the absolute agony and torment in his face 😢

[@berylanjous6932]

Such a very nice and decent man. I think all the abused people stand with him. He has great courage to speak out and offer apologies to all the others for what his father did to them. I’m glad they have responded to him in their shared pain. God bless them all.

[@BlackStump172]

@@lottielane2486I will bet that he still has nightmares .

[@BlackStump172]

@@berylanjous6932Sharing helps . It gives strength to stand up .

[@JMRM1410]

This man is incredibly stoic. I admire his courage and strength. He's obviously done a lot of work.

[@jacquipope6222]

That's a conditioned reaction from years and years of dreadful abuse.

[@86sineadw]

Stoicism during trauma isn’t to be admired, it’s a coping mechanism to abuse. He explains his ability to compartmentalise. Stoicism is what you see, but compartmentalisation is what’s happening. Remember, tears are a bodies way of regulating itself. It’s a bodily function. He most likely was thought not to cry from the experience of abuse.

[@oneseeker2]

Its British, passed down from hundreds of generations. I grew up stoic, I lost being stoic and in 30s started feeling, I prefer stoic.

[@ValerieSwain-tc7ml]

@@oneseeker2I’m British. I don’t feel stoic. I’m confused. I’m hurting so damn bad. I’m sorry…. 💜🕊️

[@dynamic7778]

We have a British friend who is 90 and given 6 months to live due to liver n bowel cancer . He is atheist and because of her experience as a British army in world war 2 refused to received Jesus please pray for his salvation his name is bob . He lives in the south coast of NSW australia 🙏🙏

[@tessa5777]

So many abusive people hide in the church. I was married to a part time youth pastor. He made fast friends with clergy and powerful people as soon as we arrived at a new church; then he was above reproach. I don’t think they could fathom the anger and control he wielded day in and day out. It was a double life… perfect saint at church, the devil at home. I had left because he strangled our three year old unprovoked. I wasn’t going to go back but his buddy, the pastor said I had to come back/ that I did not have grounds for leaving. I was young and dumb and believed my salvation was at risk. He said he would counsel us. My ex became emboldened after that. The pastor couldn’t see the abuse for many years because my ex showed himself as such a charming and successful man. Evil does not come looking like the devil, it comes appearing as an angel of light… or a youth pastor… or doting husband… or…

[@captainchaos52]

Thats 1 of satans greatest deceptions, comes as an angel of light. One day that false light WILL be exposed and I can hardly wait! Glad you got away from that devil.

[@matty7dream1]

I was abused until I was 21. I was given the silent treatment, blanked, combined with viscous hard stares if I spoke. The result was I never learnt to socialise with other people. It's a miracle I'm still here. I'm facing up to it now for the first time. I'm 60 next year. Strangely, I still struggle to see it as abuse. To me it was 'normal'.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Dear @matty7dream1 much compassion to you ❤️‍🩹. What you describe is so difficult the longer term effects that make life so hard, even when you are away from the abuse. Before a person lays a finger on you, they start with the brain washing. May you heal

[@luckm8852]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Perhaps you struggle to see it as abuse because it was all mental abuse. For me, I was abused mentally and physically. Physically up to about 20 years of age and mentally up to 25 until I finally had external help and managed to leave. It's clear as daylight to me that I was abused as my would beat me daily and some of the beatings caused festering wounds. A teacher noticed the wounds once and summoned my mother to school but was let off with a warning. I'm 46 this year and still deeply affected by the prolonged abuse. You're still suffering from the effects of your abuse at 60. I suppose we'll always be affected for as long as we live. I have no doubt what you went you through was abuse. Lots of love to you and hope you'll continue to cope well.

[@kimcarne7733]

That reply just made me cry.

[@Tinyflypie]

Bless your beautiful soul. I admire you. I was a victim but it took me longer to reach any kind of enlightenment. Thank you

[@paulaanderson5263]

​God bless you, with peace,love and joy. Jesus Christ Loves you more than we can possibly understand.

[@goldencashmere28]

What a sadistic, sick, narcissistic abuser to a father who was supposed to protect and love you, all under the knowledge of your mother who is equally to blame ....Thank you for your courage and honesty to share something so painful.....Your father will face his judgement.... Much healing and love for you, your sisters, your family and all his victims and hope you all find closure some day ..... From a Christian friend from Sweden.

[@Babes338]

I agree that the mother should be held responsible as she knew! I know she was a victim too, but a child!!!!!! Come on!!!! Protect your children NO matter WHAT!!!!!!

[@sabine4759]

He considered his mother a victim too and he doesn 't judge her! Do you know the circumstances better than him , Mr. "Christian friend"?

[@juliechurley2716]

But most of all the church protected that disgusting sadist! Time & again it has proved to be compromised & untrustworthy

[@Eucheriaonuoha-tp3jj]

❤ for your mom not to go out to get help for you. She also was abusing you. I’m a mother too, I will do anything for my children even if it’s my last breath. I will give my life to keep my children alive

[@gladyswarren3437]

I feel the same as you I would be in jail if someone like that was doing this to anyone xx

[@Ette397]

Narcisstic sadistic abusers almost never are accountable for their actions but their victims spend their lives taking on responsibilities that are not theirs to be burdened with. My tears for this lovely man 😢

[@joshdance9959]

Well said.

[@MarcaWasi-jd6xx]

Very true

[@blueStarKitt7924]

Exactly.😡😔

[@jesspalafox6881]

They get rewarded with the presidency

[@Robertaerdmane]

Narcisi lien reliģijā , jo tur var netraucēti būt vardarbīgiem un darīt ko grib.

[@Juliewelsh10]

No person deserves what this lovely man had to endure.Hope that the rest of his life will be full of love ❤️

[@Trund27]

This is a beautiful comment filled with compassion.

[@lva9821]

This journalist has apparently learnt the art of questioning and interviewing since her disastrous interview with Dr Peterson....

[@HomeFromFarAway]

​@@lva9821 peterson is a nightmare to interview or even converse with when he's in one of his moods. I epuldn't blame the journalist for his pathology

[@grainnegowen5758]

Indeed perfectly put 💔🙏

[@truthdisciple9379]

yeah cos you know him personally 😏..I doubt he would speak about you in such a pathetic way@Iva

[@lumireu]

Having just had to go through a resurfacing of my childhood abuser, I really needed this good cry. These abusers and their supporters have no concept of the ripple effects their darkness leaves in the lives of their victims. 💔❤️

[@theresawelch5761]

❤🙏 May your life be blessed as long as you live, dear soul

[@annsmith7207]

P.J. Smyth : A courageous interview and hope you can give yourself credit for it. Wishing you a long life filled with self care and joy and supportive people around you. It took me decades to forgive my parents so it would free me. I am free -- rarely think of them -- did not attend either wake or funeral but had my own service said for each. Went to their grave site with a note listing every abusive incident I could think of -- read it aloud --- and at the end said -- "I forgive you" set the note alight and let the flames and wind catch the paper. It all took flight and floated away. I live free with joy most days. And it also took decades of therapy to get to this place. Blessings!

[@brigittebowman9113]

Good on you for telling them in the end. I wish you all the happiness that was denied you for so long. ❤

[@margaretwhittaker2291]

thank you for sharing. I am so glad to hear you are free.

[@annsmith7207]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I wrote my experience to perhaps help others navigate a hideous set of abusive circumstances and free themselves to move forward -- no longer shackled and encumbered. I was also very fortunate to have access to excellent, highly competent therapists throughout. Blessings!

[@jsemplefelton5348]

It makes one so thankful to have grown up in a loving family.

[@alanpengo3335]

Godbless you ✨️🫂🙏

[@maganalia]

Childhood trauma is a huge problem in society. It destroys people.

[@heathermcdougall8023]

Yes indeed, you are absolutely correct. My husband Tommy is Irish, and he is certain that this abuse scandal will sound the death knell for the CoE, and that what happened to the Catholic Church in Ireland will happen here in the UK because of this decades long abuse that must have been known about.

[@aliceflanagan3672]

Why do people sy children are resilient? Absolutely untrue. All our demons as adults were from our childhoods.

[@mrshifter9582]

Child hood trauma never leaves you.

[@mrshifter9582]

@@maganalia we can't change the past and should not let it control us or shape who we are. Growing up in the 70s was very different to today and my sons have experienced a completely different childhood, we brake the cycle. I hated school for so many reasons, but now I understand why, life is a wonderful journey.

[@kellydalstok8900]

@@aliceflanagan3672 It gives them an excuse not to intervene.

[@seattlejayde]

This ended up on my feed randomly. Wow! Excellent story and interview. Very inspiring!

[@Witchofthewest09]

Watching the pain in this young man's face brought nightmarish memory's of my own . My paternal ( Roman Catholic , war hero ) grandfather sexually abused his own daughter's and us , his grandchildren . Total numbers known = 41 . I'm 74yrs old now and owe my life to an incredible Psychologist who taught me to look at my 7yr old self . Self blame is poison . Thank you young brave heart . Love to you and yours ❤ .

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Witchofthewest compassion to you. ❤️‍🩹. It is very good that you had a good and capable therapist. And it is very helpful to write hear about your grandfather. Dor you and for all who read it.

[@Haberdashery22]

How could such a despicable creature walk in this world. I've come to the conclusion that the church is over. It's an evolved myth to control the masses over a couple of thousand years. Lovely stories for the children which decent rules were made and lived by. But Aesop's fables emanating from Ancient Greece were just as enticing! Jesus existed, there's evidence and no doubt he was a remarkable man who made the ultimate sacrifice but sorry, the spiritual theology can't sit with me when we hear of this horrendous abuse and the suffering it brings. The old priests strived to hold on to their power and entitlement at the expense of the poor. Look how they ruled against literacy for a start!

[@proudmganda1159]

As an abused child now in my 60’s , I am sending you hugs and lots of love xx

[@leekflower1]

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. It has nothing to do with Catholicism but rather has to do with evil.

[@maggienorris7833]

What "young man"?

[@wendip4]

Bless you, beautiful P.J. Smyth. It was never your responsiblity to stand up & be answerable for the horrific abuse of your narcissistic father. For me, it shows the kind of human being you are, that you've stepped up & done what you can on behalf of all of John Smyth's abuse victims, when your father refused to, & while you yourself are one of his innocent victims. You & your father are at the most extreme & opposite ends of the spectrum of potential human behaviour. I'm grateful to you for providing an example of what is possible while you yourself endured the unthinkable circumstances in which you were raised. It takes years to work through how people like John Smyth get into a child's psyche. If I could have one wish for you, it is that you could go on to live a love-filled & joyous life. You surely deserve it!

[@vivienmakovik8054]

Beautifully written x

[@jenniferdnoseworthy2348]

WendiP, that was lovely, well said and what I would have said but you did it more eloquently ❤

[@MB-sg8dx]

Very well said

[@celestehogan5907]

Beautifully written here … thank u 🙏🏻

[@racheljones9786]

Thank you for speaking on our behalf. Lovely 💗

[@chriscatton705]

One of the BEST interviews I've ever witnessed.

[@annetteschumacher366]

Do you know ‘soft white underbelly’? Going on your comment I think you can appreciate it.

[@yana1852]

It is heartbreaking to see this man's gentle smile while he is talking about all the horrible things that the closest person who was supposed to protect him - his dad - did to him.

[@johnmact5548]

I grew up in abuse, My mother had the strength to run away with her children in 1963, Very proud

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

I send you love to you and your mother.

[@angelahayes24]

You had a good mum, blessings to you all.

[@SarahDixon-tx4zx]

Wow in 1963 knowing the social landscape makes that move all the more brave. ❤

[@brogsbunny]

Me too but it was my mother who was abusive.Affects you for life.

[@hamishanderson6738]

John - same here.

[@maureenmcgarry4191]

Thank you for finding the courage to share a tragedy you have endured. No one is responsible for an abuser, but the abuser. Children of the abuser live with shame + (loyalty is a strategy of survival.) The abusers' power keeps us quiet. Thank you for speaking out, it will set you free, and give validation to victims. Peace to you

[@bethkelsey1]

Made me cry. My own childhood was similar compounded by complete and utter rejection and abuse by my mother. My father was brutal (although I think may have been mentally ill) at a time when there was nowhere to go for help. It has ruined my entire life. I am in my 70s, and despite so much trauma counselling , I live in loneliness and severe pain. I am conditioned to be afraid at all times, to be vigilant.

[@victoriabyrne4303]

May you know Peace.

[@lorrifrench4460]

((( Hugs))) ❤ Dear Lord please wrap your loving comforting arms around Beth , in the name of Jesus , Amen 🙏

[@sarahsmyth5383]

So sorry to hear this

[@kimber9173]

I’m so sorry you had to endure all that. I’m sending you a (((hug)))

[@christineoconnor155]

God bless you Beth

[@l.g.8028]

This was very moving. My heart pours to the millions of children and teens around the world, who are abused and neglected by their parents and other adults and who suffer in shame and silence.

[@ziggystardust3060]

I was one of 'those' children, and grew up believing I had no say in my life. I'm in my late 60's now and just getting therapy. It's never too late to heal. ❤️‍🩹

[@maganalia]

@@ziggystardust3060 I'm that age too. I was lucky to get some therapy in my 30s, so learned a lot about why I felt and acted like I did. I had done a lot of damage by then.

[@ziggystardust3060]

@maganalia sending you love and light dear. God bless you. 🕯️

[@janicescott6569]

And by the church.

[@judystaab7126]

Amen😢

[@carly102982]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@speedemonxs]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Steve_porss1 is the man , I share similar experiences with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction. Psilocybin mushrooms have been a game-changer for me, aiding greatly in my recovery and sobriety."

[@BestOffer-ii9ny]

I wish those were more easily accessible where I live. Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He's 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he's 6'6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He's aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you're familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?

[@speedemonxs]

Is he on instagram?

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Steve_porss1 is the man

[@Sarah-b7r3g]

Sir you are defined not by your father’s evil deeds but by your own choices to heal and carry on. I admire your courage to talk openly about your trauma, and have no doubt that this will help many who have experienced similar pains. God bless❤

[@nancym5341]

He is brave and broken. I see the little boy in him trying hard to accept it was NOT his fault! I pray his family life brings him comfort. And I hope he allows himself to love his children

[@ginnywalter9382]

It's amazing how it sneaks along behind you in your shadow. For 70 years now.

[@tamaraberenberg8084]

Are you serious? Either you haven't been affected by abuse or you are living in a fantasy world. Abuse follows you throughout your life l. I know! It's in your mind, your soul, your spirit, your body. You carry it with you until you die, in one way or another. Yes, you can heal to an extent but it's still always there.

[@StJane]

This 25 minute video has changed the course of my own recovery. You showed me that someday I can speak my truth out loud. And even as the pain remains I can handle it and come to terms with it. Huge thank You to you both ❤🙏🏼❤️

[@themenna007]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It should never have happened and you didn't deserve it. I wish you all the best with your road to recovery❤❤❤❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️❤️❤️

[@Mongieboy]

I imagine they would be very happy to hear that. I send you good and positive vibes. Stay strong.

[@lisanunlist9510]

Please connect w/a professional & group to safely open the valve & RELEASE what you’re carrying! ❤️😢🙏

[@blancaosorio3291]

🙏🏼

[@chadsimmons6347]

Oh i see,,unless your "perfect" you don't qualify for parenting children? Okay no wife,,no kids = perfect-4-me!

[@dorothyann100]

As a victim of parental abuse myself, this video really spoke to me, because as a 76 year old woman, I have still been struggling to understand why the trauma still does not go away ; as well as the anger over never receiving accountability from my abuser, who in my case was my mother, now dead for 15 years, who went to her grave defiant to the end, believing herself to be a chosen soul of God. The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual abuse, as well as severe neglect, have left wounds that have never healed.

[@JaneSoole]

What a truly remarkable interview Cathy. Such depth and incite from you. Thank you. PJ and all other victims - may you have some peace.

[@villanelle8888]

@JaneSoole - incite?

[@QuestforQuestions]

Insight!

[@jackiedouglas4483]

Hard enough to accept in a first world culture, much more widespread abuse in many many second world areas.

[@laurenmay2098]

What is her full name? I want it to find her interviews and documentaries.

[@laurenmay2098]

Just find it, Newman 😊

[@dianatracy9687]

A brilliant interview. Prayers for him and other victims. Exposing narcissist in public is so important. Thank you

[@terence4427]

A mom, dad, caregiver, or adult who stands by while a child is being abused and does nothing is trash. Period.

[@suewintersgill9563]

Shame on those who have posted flippant and derogatory comments: this man has demonstrated so much courage in this interview, my heart and prayers go out to him.

[@juliebarks3195]

It's almost as though they are siding with that monster?

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

It is also a show of having no clue what so ever of what living in a total state of fear is like a child. It is the same as a warzone.

[@thechunkyone7118]

It's awful, can't even imagine.....all these animals that knew and willing let it happen are just as evil in my eyes ....so sad

[@juliebarks3195]

@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 I know. I remember the fist in my stomach while laying in bed from a 6-foot-2-inch ex-Marine and serving police sergeant. My father. I was 9 years old. He seemed to go white like a ghost when he was angry. Even our poor placid kind dog got the end of his boot. My father was a monster in uniform and he loved the power.

[@juliebarks3195]

@@melliecrann-gaoth4789 I just commented on yours with my experience as a child. Even now I'm robbed of a voice. It was instantly removed. Sorry.

[@amylouise9853]

What a brave man who has so much insight into his trauma. By sharing his story he will help many others who feel alone with their own trauma.

[@PHlophe]

Amy Louise, his trauma was insightful in that it provided info on the inner working of the church and how the relocate the surplus of abusers to carribean and african nations during that era which was the tail end of brutal colonization . Missionaries had 100% carte blanche during colonial days , as did colonial army. all with their complicit british wives . Loooooots of unresolved issues . France has the exact same issue with Abbe Pierre who died 15 years ago but "ran" thru the equivalent of a stadium full of women and then became interested in kids and it is only then that the catholic church decided, alright we'll send you to a remote place where people don't know ye.

[@malkaz9167]

How is evil like this created in a human being? How do enablers allow this to happen and to continue for so very long? It is really beyond my comprehension. I have difficulty hearing about it. I can’t even imagine the suffering of those who experienced it. My only question is why?

[@jillijane9793]

I no longer attend any church services or belong to any organized religion. I am so disgusted with the abuse of so many under the guise of religion, and the cover ups of such abuse with no accountability or punishment

[@jenniewren9351]

I really understand your hurt and disappointment. If you want to return to attending church look up their safeguarding policy, see how much focus there is on it and chat to the safeguarding officer. We also have a safeguarding trustee and leader. We do dbs checks, interviews and character references and training for our volunteers and have safeguarding reporting info available every week. We also make an event of safeguarding Sunday and more importantly keep doing sessions with the children and youth so that they can report. We can’t guarantee 100% abuse can’t happen but are doing everything we can think of for prevention but should it occur that hopefully it will be reported. We’re also developing better systems for vulnerable adults and also following the report from soul survivor looking at bullying etc. I think with your awareness of this matter you’d be an asset to a church, adding another set of eyes and looking at weakness they may not have thought of.

[@cordeliaadams4898]

I so wanted to hug this courageous man, you can feel his immense pain and his inner torment. I wish his therapists and the love of his family will help him turn that horrible page and he will find some serenity and happiness from now on. I send him much love and warmth and admiration.

[@TrishaRodgers-ng2xc]

I felt his pain.

[@effimiakitsaki861]

The so called "mother" was worse, she new everything and done absolutely nothing instead she was writing the black book. PJ is a lovely man. Thank you both for the brilliant interview.

[@yvonnekneeshaw2784]

The psychology needs to be understood

[@Now4wheels]

She was an adult and although also seen as a victim i dont feel the same sympathy towards her as towards her children.

[@effimiakitsaki861]

@@yvonnekneeshaw2784 as a mother I don't tolerate any understanding. I can't feel any sympathy for her.

[@andrewhaywood3853]

Worse? There’s some misogyny in labelling a woman who didn’t commit the abuse, and who may or may not have been a victim herself, as actually worse than the sadistic guy who got kicks from hurting others. At worst she was a covert narcissist who was somewhat complicit - although the physical beating of her own child took place in a shed and so she wasn’t there to know how severe it was. At best she was a victim too. She was not worse.

[@susanmarch1661]

​@@andrewhaywood3853women had nowhere to go as didn't have their own money. That's why it's important for women to have their own money.

[@jonquiloconnor987]

That's one of the most powerful interviews ever made. What an absolute real man this warrior is, to have had to endure this mental & physical A buse and come out of the other side, sane and awoke, is a tale of true courage. ❤

[@annetteschumacher366]

Do you know ‘soft white underbelly’? Maybe you will “like” that too

[@eddieharris6004]

After hearing this interview I thank my lucky stars that my parents were both so loving and kind.

[@lmiller1413]

I glad they were kind. They serve as role models

[@sylviaa4974]

Me also

[@carolinekamya2339]

yes, be very thankful -

[@tomjohnston1220]

Poor man, I was the target for Brother Leonard, my headmaster and a sadist Irish Christian Brother. When I was only four, I couldn't give the answer to one of his questions and he punched me full force in the face, knocking me out and sending me flying across the room and into the easel blackboard which collapsed on top of me. Beatings never worked on me and turned me into a rebel. Luckily, in later life, In was able to surpress my anger and became very successful. If it wasn't for him, I'd have been successful much earlier. You can never really get rid of the anger.

[@dcole2133]

No Christian if he behaved like that

[@Sylvia-zv1eq]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@PatCor1000]

❤🙏🙏🙏❤

[@barbj9785]

Im sorry this horror happened to you. That person was not a christian at all. He probably entered the brotherhood so he could abuse children and get away with it.

[@suzyvegalicious5646]

@@dcole2133 I think it's better to say not a human being.

[@VideoVibesAndVerse]

PJ was my pastor at River of Life Church, Harare, and a really good guy. I had no idea about any of this. A friend invited me to visit the church to be his "wing man" because there was a girl he liked there, and he needed my "support". I remember walking in (in 1998) and seeing a girl playing the tambourine in the worship band. Flash forward to today, and we've been married for 22 years, and have 3 beautiful daughters. I'm glad that I only have fond memories associated with PJ and the work he did leading that church. ❤

[@chursunloh7416]

This poor man still referred to the abusive man as 'my father'. That monster did not deserve such a title.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Yes- there are fathers and mothers who do not deserve to be called father or mother and who were given the gift of being a biological parent. To name- my father- that is who that man was, and then proceed to describe the horrendous things his father did. This is a sign of great strength and bravery and healing in this man. And his commitment to truth and protection of the vulnerable. No doubt this interview will have a huge toll on him. He talked about his therapist, so it is good that the proper support is there. This will help others who gave been abused by their parents. Also. unfortunately therapists like many other professionals can be a mixed bag. More training will be helpful and more hired. There is a trauma therapy waiting list in the UK NHS for adults. That is for the ones who have gotten as far as being able to say what happened. And there are some very committed and skilled therapists in the UK who train. Sr Deborah Lee is one, her book Compassion Focused Trauma Therapy can help people before they get therapy. So this is another area to call loudly and advocate for- but the therapists must have the right training and the right supervision, filling no s is bot enough.

[@marieogara1036]

He cannot change his birth reality -- a terrible man is his father. Quibbling about such realities is denial. Can you even imagine having to live with that reality, as an adult? For a day, a year , a lifetime? Every single child has a father and mother, and some are horrifying human beings. Many change their names and I don't blame them at all. I would. Your comment is both trivial, and devoid of any thought. Also (I can be petty too) - father in the biological meaning is merely a biological DNA fact, not a "Title". Sperm don't pick and choose worthy or not. You are an idiot, and a particularly crass, dim idiot . Name your "Father" please -- I'd like to comment on his offspring.

[@notknown6605]

It’s not a title, it’s a fact.

[@twistoffate4791]

​@@notknown6605It's also a word. Words can be swapped out at will for a better descriptive one.

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

Father is not a title, it's just someone who created a child, there are good fathers, bad fathers and mediocre fathers. Not using the word father doesn't suddenly mean he wasn't his father, or that he didn't literally help make him. In fact that is often why the abuse hurts more emotionally/mentally, so although I am sure you did not mean it that way, denying that link can be invalidating and disrespectful to many survivors. He is acknowledging facts and has clearly done a lot of therapy to help not be in denial. Please be mindful of such things when supporting survivors.

[@hansejr]

What a powerful story, great reporting. What a sick man John Smyth. What strength it must have taken PJ to do this interview. I’m so glad he received that letter at the end.

[@MapadiOlifant]

Very heartbreaking interview 💔 May the Lord heal PJ, your family, the victims and their families, and everyone who may have been affected 🙏🏽 🙏🏽🙏🏽 we haven't met in person but I have benefited from your good work- for over a decade I have been attending one of your church plants in South Africa, Joburg. What a blessing! I still remember your last sermon before you step down, during covid times, a powerful sermon on Philippians chapter 1. I miss your pulpit teachings. Sending love to you 😊

[@arrowarrow17]

I blame the mother who did not stand up for her children. There are many mothers like that in this world.

[@margaretjohnson1401]

Sadistic mothers are still a taboo subject in this cruel world

[@mimmsey2]

Sure, not like we could blame the man. Shall we blame HIS mum as well, since she raised him? Just know the men are all innocent victims to the women in their lives.

[@ruby8412]

Domestic abuse often comes hand in hand with child abuse. You don't know what she was facing. And if she was with him from an early age (as PJ says his father's abuse and control of her spanned all her adult life) then that makes her easier to control and potentially brain wash.

[@blakan1478]

@@mimmsey2 I don't think he doesn't blame the man but made this comment based on how the mother was spoken of in this interview like she had nothing to do with his trauma.

[@begladwme]

Don't victim blame. She was a victim too. Blaming her is uneducated, crass, arrogant, insensitive and ignorant. Blame the psycho demonic evil manipulative devil that was her husband. You don't think she was manipulated, abused & living in secret fear too? You think she had her own finances to leave? He's to blame. Dont blame victims.

[@ann-marie.lougher]

What an incredible interview. ....I felt like I was 'in the room'....his pain ,palpable. Watching him still experiencing the fear whilst trying to give an accurate account of his warped childhood ....so so sad.

[@cklg88]

This is why it's better to get rid of family members and never look back, than to have to keep fighting for a family that will and never exist. I left my mother, and never looked back and it was the best thing I ever FINALLY did. I just kept trying and trying and trying with her and it took until I was 50yrs to say no more. I'm so happy I finally did before she died.

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

Cathy Newman and Channel 4 has my deep respect for covering this story with so much fearless integrity X

[@blueragebull]

Thank you Cathy Newman and Channel 4 News for the hard work and persistence on this issue over many years to help uncover the truth and bring about much needed change and reform in an institution that has operated without proper oversight or standards for so long and poor practices allowed to continue because of a culture of silence and fear. There must be so many more churches and cases in the UK.

[@SussexRoyal]

Oh there’s plenty. And those at the top of the British establishment facilitated it

[@johnson2joy]

It is to do with hundred of years of the culture of "institutional" fagging and military discipline!

[@Olly-il7hl]

Yes it’s great that this is highlighted for so many reasons. But I’m am not sure about her tone of questioning. One example: Asking a victim of abuse if he is ‘grateful’ to those who came forward puts an even bigger weight on to this victims shoulders. Asking him how he feels about the other victims might be a reasonable question. And she pushes it again when putting words like solidarity into his mouth. I’m sure he is grateful & I’m sure he will have strong empathy for those who suffered but he is a victim too.

[@calicocat8213]

​@@Olly-il7hlHe is actually a double victim, as there's not just the abuse-related trauma but deep shame (a natural emotion in an offspring) he has to carry.

[@chengyeoh8809]

Cathy Newman, U are amazingly brave and tenacious. This video would hv atoned PJ Smyth and hopefully many more of us, who has been through similar situation. PJ Smyth - if this trauma created U, then one good thing has come out of it..

[@Tyger-Lee]

Mr Smyth, thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. It was easy to see how much emotional pain your father’s abusive and the Church’s lack of response has caused you. I’m so sorry for your experiences. I’m also a childhood torture survivor. My Korean mother was a monster. I cut her and an abusive brother out of my life in 2019. When she passed in 2021, I didn’t shed any tears. I loved my mother, as any child would, but my thought was, “Thank God she won’t be able to hurt me anymore.” I wish each survivor love, healing, peace and many blessings.

[@jacquimiller9800]

Your mom let your dad do this to you by writing down your wrong doings… you are a brave survivor x

[@snowiecat456]

His mom was under his dad's control too. I don't think you understand the power of Narcissistic abuse and how they control your every move and thought. His mom was probably 'punished' in some way if she didn't comply. Your mind is also controlled so that you think that what is happening is normal and what you are being asked to do is normal. There is a lot on KZbin about Narcissistic abuse. Also a book by Dr Ramani Dervasula called "It's Not You" written for survivors of Narcissistic abuse. She also has a KZbin channel. I am a survivor also.

[@kathleendubois7128]

Agreed😢

[@stirlingmoss9637]

Our Mother did the same, complain about the odd behaviour and when we were thrashed beg our Father to stop. Over and over. Stupid women at the centre of abuse

[@beautifulbuds]

He wanted a list to satisfy his addiction. She knew she better write up or get beaten herself. His enabler.....

[@RichieRich1234RICH]

@@beautifulbudsthat if true is even worse. I know for sure if my father - who never laid a hand on me in my life - had done anything like this my mother would have stopped him. I can’t understand women who allow abuse.

[@jam-nc8ut]

Every second of that was devastating. This is the long term effect of childhood abuse laid bare. It must be even more complex for this brave man than most, knowing that not only did his own father abuse him, but so many others too. He should not feel a shred of guilt, he is a victim in every conceivable way.

[@carlywright5127]

A SURVIVOR. Has the ability and common sense.

[@jeanettehinds4253]

Bandages and adult nappies. I hear how you love your mum but it was her job to protect you. You said he got away with abusing children for 40 years, but had your mum of reported him, it would have started his end. I think you are an amazing man. To hear you speak so elequently about your experience is inspiring.

[@jamieluce5808]

In theory I agree with you, but we must remember how powerless women are and were in society. She would have had to report him to men in authority. They would have shamed and blamed her for her disloyalty to her lord and master. Disappearing without a trace really would have been the only way out. Who has those resources and support??!!

[@remmie3244]

Very bold of you to come out and talk. May God give you the peace to continue.

[@garysummers3771]

As a surviour of child abuse this man is very brave. His words elevate what is abuse . I like the fact the words he chose to describe his experience resonates I wish him well on his recovery....

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Compassion to you and all on the journey to healing ❤️‍🩹. Your comment is really important. I believe the solidarity of expression here is helpful for us all. The very professional and respectful tone created by the lead journalist is very important for this. I agree with you 💯

[@thechunkyone7118]

I think going to a private school played a massive part in these abuse cases . It's not a place for children. All children want Is the safety and comfort of their parents. I don't care what money I have I could never abonded my child like that......their younger years are the most important....it selfish!

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Also it was a class thing. Like the way working class finished school earlier for a trade. A part that seemed particularly upper class English was sending young children to boarding school. Aged 8. In other countries it was mostly secondary school. Boarding school books sounded great. I wanted to go to one. Also what you describe about yourself sounds like being very committed to beya good family person and really seeing the hime as a place of peace and love and refuge. This is mot the way in ma y homes that do not have the levels of horror described here.

[@Moat1a]

He's still suffering! You can hear it in the breaks in his voice. Absolutely, heartbreaking. 😔😭

[@rosemercer212]

This was a respectful interview. The pain this man has caused is very tragic. I hope you are gentle with yourself.

[@PaulineParks]

She wrote in the black book ,knowing full well that their son would get a beating ,i would never of wrote anything !! To spare him from the abuse !! Its ever so sad ,for Peter ,hes clearly still traumatised after all these years ,poor guy ,im just glad to hear youve married and i wish you and all the other victims all the love and happiness in the world ,god bless you all x

[@geraldstamour1312]

As a sexual abuse survivor myself, I give P.J. Smyth all the credit in the world for his courage in exposing the evil that he experienced!

[@MaryTheresa-d47]

I am so deeply sorry to see this lovely man's suffering. Trauma is still reverberating through him. I pray he comes to a stage where he realises he was a victim of a sadiist. An innocent child. The scars inside will heal . Be patient with yourself. Endure it. With prayers and deepest love from one who has worked with injured souls of brutalised children. A gentle hug..

[@joseenoel8093]

Yes a sadist, well said, that's not a description which is used enough, I too had horrific moments, not all were thankfully and really kids have nowhere to go, a sadist, yes, word not used enough, sick beings, thank you!😢

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

I agree 💯. Sadistic streak is also a term not used enough either. And the thing to point out is that these individuals have control of their actions and impulses. Not all psychopaths are impulsive, psychopathy is on a spectrum and the thing with psychopaths is they know by logic and law what is right and wrong but they make choices on how to act. Lack of empathy does not account for that. And also the new talk of “cognitive empathy “ , there is something else I see among many, that is selective empathy- including those highly trained in areas pertaining to human and societal care and welfare.

[@BlackStump172]

@@melliecrann-gaoth4789These individuals are also very psychologically manipulative .

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Black stump- totally and I am only starting to learn about this. The only way I can think is like someone who is very good at music and motivated. They put lots of time, energy and practice- makes sense that they do. It seems manipulative people do something similar

[@kathleenpriest662]

You are a lovely man. You had no way to know what to do when you were a child to make things better. I am so sorry this happened to you and to others.

[@stconstable]

If the Father was away for days how come the Mother was willingly filling in a black book ready for him to read when he returned? I don't buy that she wasn't complicit. That she was also a Victim. We need to accept and talk about the fact that women often faciltate and cover up the abuse of their partners and relatives and offspring.

[@helenb6399]

She was maybe scared NOT to put anything in the book....

[@BruceLee-fd7uw]

​@helenb6399 oh give it a rest Pandora😅

[@KatePerry-y5s]

I wouldn't put up with an evil husband like that, for one second!!!

[@Jen8973]

A lot of women are terrified of their sadistic husbands and he may have threatened her with not seeing the kids if She left. They were under his control he was a demonic bustard. How he was allowed to work on Christian camps is beyond believe. The Anglican bishops who knew should resign or be sacked.

[@Aliaosman-d8l]

Abuse doesn't happen without facilitators. It is a whole community or society or Church or care homel or family or university that allows it to happen. The medical profession then helps to cover up the abuse and dumb down the victim with medication.

[@couldbegood]

I cannot express how angry I feel for all children who have suffered at his evil hands, that those in power let him get away with it and refused to resign until last week. I’m absolutely livid

[@janetrickaby6744]

That was a hard watch. What a lovely courageous man PJ is. I hope he can find peace with the passing of time . I also hope he connects with the writer of that letter and they can find some solace in their shared feelings.

[@TrishaRodgers-ng2xc]

That letter was just fantastic

[@PeterGibson-u8l]

Dear Pj, you are a very brave and courageous man. Thank you for bringing this into the public domain.

[@AndieFlowers3]

Wishing you the best Sir. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so very sad that you had that horrible experience with your father. Please know that you are actually making a difference in all of us that are watching with open hearts and minds. It was never your fault, and you are perfect the way you are. ❤

[@nicholaskelly1958]

I am so very impressed by P J Smyth. In the early 1980s I was doing fieldwork for my University thesis. On one trip a good friend accompanied me helping with the fieldwork. As it was high summer my friend took his shirt off To my horror he had these hideous scars on his back. I meekly asked what they were. He laughed referring to them as his "Crumpet Scratchers"! Some years later I was having a conversation with my friends mum. I asked what the "Crumpet Scratchers" actually were (I suspected that they were due to my friend being subjected to severe beatings). My friends mother told me that Smyth had beaten her son due to his "Very severe sinning" I was utterly horrified.

[@Haberdashery22]

Oh my goodness - was the friend's mother upset when telling you that? Or did she collude with what Smyth had done or did she tell you with fury for Smyth? This is horrifying - it was the 80s, to me that was yesterday. Thank you for writing this, I'm so upset an angry - this sadist should never have been allowed a free run.

[@daweshorizon]

To PJ. I can't imagine how I would feel if I were in your shoes. I thank you for your honesty and frankness in this very public interview. It will help countless others. Your courage and determination is making a positive contribution to our World; please be proud of that. Love and peace.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

💯 agree

[@pbohearn]

The journalist is excellent because she knows who she is and acts accordingly within the boundaries of her profession. She doesn’t try to be a therapist and it’s such a dicey situation because it’s so emotional, BUT she stays as a journalist. The reading of the letter first to himself, and then him reading it aloud, did veer off into somethingthat seemed like a dramatic infotainment, soap opera type, but it was powerful.

[@loribrown9963]

I'm 65 and an abuse survivor. Every kind of abuse there is and from multiple sources. But one thing was said here that really got to me. The trauma doesn't end. So many people have told me to just get over it. It's in the past. But it's not. When it is so pervasive and you have no one you can trust, it warps your entire life. You learn to cope but that's about it. Mr Smyth, I sincerely admire you for speaking out. May you find peace.

[@lesleybrookes5022]

What a wonderful lovely man. I pray that his life will be full of love and peace

[@pamelafranklin3452]

He was a grown man and

[@traceyyoung1592]

Dear Peter I'm so appalled by what happened to you. You are so brave and strong! As for the church what can I say - such a bunch of Hippocrates!!! As for the death of your friend - that's so disgusting and despicable! You were in hospital with cancer and he tells you seven reasons why??? Absolutely shocking! I'm so glad your wife helped you see what a Monster he was! So very brave to confront your father and he still continued to lie and deny! You are an Amazing man for breaking the chain he passed down to you - that shows such strength !!!He should have been punished and it is certainly not your fault. Best wishes and cheers from Oz 🦘

[@amandataylor2987]

My heart hurts watching this. At the end when he said 'my father'. That broke me because he doesn't deserve to bear that guilt or shame. Such a strong man and a victim too. I truly hope he and the others can heal from this.

[@Chris-hu2mp]

My heart goes out to that little boy who is so brave to come forward now, and all the children abused by this monster.

[@sally-annmanvell5529]

What an interview . Thank you PJ for your honesty and bravery. I can't find any words at the moment as I think of that confused little boy turning into a traumatised adult. Sending heartfelt prayers for healing 🙏 ❤️

[@fatmaelsayed8933]

i do appreciate and respect the effort you made to run this interview

[@lorenzolocatelirossi]

I’m very sorry for your horrific childhood. God bless you. I listened for two minutes can’t beat it.

[@jolyonvickers8035]

Sadly, John Smyth was probably abused like I was, as we went to the same school in Calgary, Canada. He was 9 years my senior. The headmaster there would cane you over his desk in the seniors class with the seniors present, for even minor offences, as a 7 year old, for chewing your pencil. We have to recognise in the 1950s corporal punishment was so common at school and at home. It was only outlawed in private schools in the U K in the 1990s. When you went home in the 50s, there was no parental outrage, but a question "what for this time?". Let's hope things have changed!

[@PHlophe]

Jolyon, My man, i am sorry this happened to you. I understand the gravity and i truly empathize. i am ready the comments , i am absolutely horrified. But like imagine with all this horror how missionaries operate in the carribean and africa , with total carte blanche . I have never ever heard of one being trialed or even arrested in the african continent . And they are all pretending to be benefactors and good samaritans which is a part of the religious branding overall . they had control over the entire school system and injected their morals and their phrenology ideals E-VER-WHEEERE !

[@laurie113]

I am from Calgary Alberta. I had two Abusive “ nuns” . Rulers and Humiliation. I thank my parents for getting me out of the Catholic School System.

[@aclark903]

@@laurie113Which is still proven better than the State school system.

[@aclark903]

@@PHlopheMerry Christmas. 🎄 By the way, it’s kind of sick & paranoid to take this one case and imagine it applies to all Christians. God bless.

[@patriciaoreilly8907]

No excuse abused or not its pure evil to inflict paedophile behaviour & violence to children. Sick 🤮

[@geoffdein2894]

I’m dealing with a 54 year old man who suffered a lot of abuse during his life. He got into substance abuse to mask his experience but I think at some stage the addiction causes the bigger problem. I am representing him as a conduit for communications with his lawyers. He is inclined to surrender at the smallest of hurdles. It’s an interesting set of circumstances.

[@gaspode505]

I know the pain. I was also beaten as a child. Scared for life. Had courage to speak up, respect

[@gabrielletanner5339]

It's not about going to church, it's about how you live your life and how you help others..

[@tracycroll4325]

It’s about ‘your’ standing before God as a repentant sinner, standing only in the work that Christ did on the cross dying for ‘your’ sin. Part of your reasonable service to God and love for Him and his people is regular corporate worship at church. Your love results in good work for others, with the greatest work being the telling of what Christ has done and what they need to do in terms of repentance.

[@helenpauls1496]

@@tracycroll4325No, it’s about being punished and held accountable for abhorrent actions, here an now in the real world.

[@graemestarkey7524]

​@@tracycroll4325comments based on myths. There is no god, get over it.

[@sallywright8065]

The church and the machine that operates it has been proven to be corrupt beyond words. We all have choices in life - good choices and bad choices. I see no sense or reason in dragging round your inner-guilt, for bad choices, until you die, in the hope of being forgiven by your ‘maker’. You have to forgive yourself and move on during your lifetime. God is no more than your own voice coming to terms with your own mistakes. We have no obligation to a God whose existence is unprovable.

[@mrnice7570]

True holiness belongs in right action

[@mercyagi6828]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to be abused, especially children. I’m impressed that you found healing. 💪🏽

[@Fatabuna]

"I regret I didn't protect them more..." Mr Smyth - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. It never was. You needed to survive a horrible situation and a toxic, abusive family environment. I believe every word you say, and my heart goes out to you. You had it rough. You were abused by those closest to you, with no way to escape or help the others. You acted in a way that may have saved your life, or the lives of the other family members. I hope you will continue on the healing journey and be surrounded and supported by healthy, wholesome, loving people.

[@patwilson7940]

So were the sisters abused also?

[@Mary-lx3zs]

In a way it was because he could have prevented it happening to others

[@louisepanton7344]

Domestic abuse and abuse of others is just so sickening and continues still today.

[@pepryan2183]

I am glad Justin Welby resigned to highlight these horrors. May we never forget.

[@StepbyStepbyMiriam]

Ashley must be very proud of PJ and how he now has gone from enduring the savagery to sharing courageously with millions. Wishing him all the loving kindness in the world.

[@Tinyflypie]

The victim Graham is a wonderful compassionate person. He offered love and kindness. Knowing people like him exists makes life worth living.

[@BlackWolves1998]

My heart goes out to you. You come across as kind, graceful and considerate. I would have become a raving lunatic if my dad had done something like this to me. Sorry but your father was a demon who will receive his punishment in heaven. Our real Father is the Lord our God. I’m sending you a hug from a fellow Christian.

[@lizgreen6747]

this man doesnt need to be blamed for his Fathers behaviour. we dont know what went on or walk in his shoes

[@connielane6903]

I agree with your comments. Ch4 seems to habe made this poor man responsible for the sins of his father.

[@jujutrini8412]

@@connielane6903What part of this video are they doing that?

[@jujutrini8412]

No one seems to be doing that!

[@ADEN1961]

He is still feeling guilt and He shouldnt

[@HomeFromFarAway]

​@@ADEN1961 people with PTSD always feel guilt. cptsd especially

[@ronyagpd]

Sir, Despite that man's appalling behaviour, you appear to have become your own man. That takes great strength of character in such circumstances. You have my profound respect.

[@mauvegreenwisteria3645]

Nice comment.

[@ronyagpd]

@mauvegreenwisteria3645 Thank you. So often the families of perpetrators are not only their victims but also suffer so much from others' ill-informed and compassionless comments.

[@juan3zz]

Thanks, Mr. Smyth, for being brave enough to talk about such difficult and gruesome things that happened to you. I wish you all the best in your life.

[@CatherineBurke-y3t]

Cathy you are an amazing person and this poor man has entrusted your integrity in journalism beyond words. Keep doing your ethical, insightful, decent and honest reporting. We need more people like you in the media . Thank you most sincerely.

[@anilasharma2371]

Hats off to you , keep moving forward it's finally out in the open, now you can begin to heal slowly and support others who went through the same , our heart goes out to you all .

[@juliepeters2428]

Just want to say I love you PJ & Ashley. You impacted my life so positively in South Africa. I am deeply impacted by your testimony. I really love you guys. I’m so sorry the church let you down in so many ways. X

[@LyndaR-q1l]

What Mother would allow her son to be beaten by the Father.To even keep a black book is beyond words..A Mother a real Mother would stand in front of her son!

[@bereal6590]

You'd be amazed. The thing is, things were very very different years ago when women couldn't leave had nowhere to go, no money nothing! Things have changed but it's nowhere as simple as you'd think.

[@kkaka26]

@@bereal6590 The reality is that narcissists often attract each other. There might be one that is much more narcissistic (in this case the father). Still, it's not just the case that women had nowhere to go, often narcissistic women will do what's good FOR THEM above anything else but a lot of times they're participating in the abuse or even enjoy it. There is a crazy double standard in society because society only judges violent abuse (mainly perpetrated by men) and does not judge "soft" abuse, which is way worse (manipulation, gaslighting etc.)

[@nutcracker2916]

@@bereal6590 She stood there grinning though when her husband was confronted by a reporter. In one clip.

[@debbierennox931]

My thoughts too what kind of mother was she! Some people don’t deserve to be parents

[@emilyshiu7954]

But the son still said her mother is very kind. Mentally her mother was submissive to her husband which she might think it was right. Her upbringing would not have our current safeguarding , advocacy for vulnerable mindsets yet.

[@pawdaw]

The mother was complicit in the abuse. Obviously, she was being controlled and manipulated by her husband. But sending her little boy out to the shed for brutal beatings - I can't comprehend it. Horrific.

[@elenalatici9568]

I don't know about the manipulation and control. I think she was complicit in that she was incapable of acting out her rage herself. She let her husband do it. Then, by giving her son comfort, bleak as it was--cream and adult nappies (that was not explained. Why adult nappies?) She got to play the ministering angel. I find her even worse than the father.The child would also see her as the good parent. It can take an entire lifetime to see the truth.

[@pawdaw]

@@elenalatici9568 She was recording the infractions in the book. Maybe she felt she had to. But that's what the father worked from - the more infractions, the more beatings. They were both complicit - and I can understand why you might think the mother was worse. I wonder if he beat the daughters too? Or did they just have to listen to their brother being brutalised. It's so awful to contemplate. And the father got away with it all.

[@sharoncharlesworth473]

A brave man who endured so much . Thankyou for sharing your story . Sending love and healing to all those victims of his fathers abuse .

[@philippahall2510]

I am so so so sorry that you suffered at the hands of your father, thank you for speaking out, you can almost see the pain written across your face and thank God your alive and thank you for being brave enough to speak out, that is courageous. May you live in peace and know this was not your fault 😢