Amid calls for more support for people with autism, one mum shares her most difficult decision

“If I stayed with him, every time things went wrong, he would always come running towards me, but with the carers (in Bali) … he got to be this young man," says Ms Choo Kah Ying, referring to her non-verbal autistic son. Ms Choo sent 26-year-old Sebastien to live in Bali six years ago, after realising how he was calmer when surrounded by nature.
Ms Choo is among some parents and organisations in Singapore that are calling for more support to help those with autism find a job or live independently. CNA’s Richa Liz Mathew reports.
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[@robocop581]

Those Anxiety/Violent autism cycles usually last ten years. It happened to our son. My wife and I managed to tough out those ten very turbulent years and we're happy to see our son grow out of it. Our point of pride is keeping our son at home no matter what. Putting him in an institution never entered our minds.

[@ocswoodlands]

In Singapore, all non verbal autistic person miraculously require less services and care upon hitting 19 years old! Of course, not. I am just being sarcastic. I am a parent of a non-verbal autistic 19 yo who “graduated” from Special School and Special Student Care to a Day Activity Centre (DAC). Seven years ago, in 2017, I wrote a letter to ST Forum which was published. In it I pointed out that: 1) DACs for persons with autism have operating hours either from 9am - 3pm or 10am - 4pm and some of them have 4-6 weeks of closure per year. How on earth are full time working parents with non-verbal low functioning autistic youths suppose to hold a full time job with the DAC’s operating hours? 2) To compound matters, in some centres, the bus transport leaves as early as 30 mins BEFORE the official end time of 3pm or 4pm and this means autistic youths reaching home and either being alone or with domestic helpers from as early as 3pm and before their parents reach home at 6pm. The alternative is of course one parent quitting a full time job. That alternative comes with a consequence for society. How much is society/govt willing to top up when the parents pass on with insufficient savings for their autistic children who require lifelong care in residential homes? The solution to all this is really simple, actually. Make the DACs operate sensible hours (I am not even asking for childcare 7am - 7pm hours). Sensible hours that cover the period of normal office hours. Sadly, that published letter elicited NO response from any “VWOs” or MSF or SG Enable. Maybe a comment in a youtube channel can do what a letter in ST Forum page cannot do 😂

[@tankman20064]

After 21 already adult. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@emilybrown58]

We raise a non verbal boy as well. Since day one we did not treat him as special. I have to stop working for 6 years to teach himat home, as a result, when we put him in school.They place him in mainstream class.His grades are A+and A-. Since he can read with understand i wrote the process on what he does after he wakes up and how to brush his teeh and how to take a bath and shower.We wash dishes together when he was 5.We cook together as well. At 6 six year old, we provide him less supervision. We just ask him to read what we wrote on the wall and follow along. And most importantly we dicispline hime like a normal human being. We are still working on his speech although he can speak well what he wants.

[@tongfattho6913]

Good to see your child has made much progress. Hopefully, parents of other special need kids would be inspired. Nevertheless, ASD comes in wide range of different disabilities. Verbal or non verbal, there are also those who are low functional with low IQ and cognitive ability, weak gross or/and fine motor skills, various sensory issues.

[@tankman20064]

Have you try slapping. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤.

[@DearNadia]

Do you have a blog or Instagram page where you share this stuff? I'd love to follow

[@matildawormwood4181]

I'd recommend anyone who has questions to first read Ms Choo's book, "Where Does My Autistic Son Belong" to gain a better understanding of her decision to relocate Sebastien overseas with a carer 😌

[@frederickntumba3662]

What's the name of the book? Please !

[@matildawormwood4181]

@@frederickntumba3662 "Where Does My Autistic Son Belong" :)

[@frederickntumba3662]

@@matildawormwood4181 Thank you very much ! May the Almighty God bless ya

[@stargazeronesixseven]

🙏 Thank You So Much for Caring & Helping the People with Special Needs! Many Happy Good Blessings in Return to those Kind & Compassionate Helpers! 🌷🌿🌏💜🕊

[@SuperLazyGarfield]

Parents and their child face much more challenges than those already mentioned. There are also stigma, expectations, lack of efforts to understand each autistic individual without making assumptions. The worse thing I faced as a parent was 'say one thing, do another'. At the end of it all, diversity is better but I don't think Singapore govt sees it that way.

[@Snookyboo]

The spectrum is very broad, so there is definitely a lack of effort in understanding individuals

[@anziar3038]

These parents certainly deserve more support, and the PAP which is the only reliable and responsible party in s'pore will do its utmost to help them.👍👍

[@tankman20064]

You go paisai also must thank PAP huh😂😂😂😂

[@gloriagloria5377]

And I hope she left her son with people who can be trusted. They can be vulnerable to abuses of all types.

[@roberfaubus3455]

My grandson is autism and when his get upset his will attack . His put a teacher in the hospital. I love him very much but I don’t like it when his hurt his mother or other people. I have to buy him a treat if his don’t hurt anyone.

[@officialnyiyanmoehtet]

Call the police.

[@roberfaubus3455]

@@officialnyiyanmoehtet someone did in Salt Lake City when her’s autism attack her she called the police and when his got there the officer shot and killed him.

[@officialnyiyanmoehtet]

@@roberfaubus3455 That's Utah, U.S. This is Singapore, no guns.

[@tankman20064]

​@@officialnyiyanmoehtet 😂😂😂😂😂100% correct. Call police. When start attacking others. It finish. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@michellehavre6821]

this is a rich ang mo family and they cannot make it. The vast majority are average income or poor family. How? I have to wait 3 years for my son to get to Special school at 6 years old. it's call Early intervention for parents. And 3 years wait when u apply.

[@annat6249]

I understand parents with special need child need help emotionally and financially. I am a mom myself and I know how hard it is to raise a child. Special need is 100x more difficult. But another side of thinking is, who should be responsible? Government money is taxes from general public. If a parents know this during pregnancy and decide to continue, is this their choice and should be mainly responsible for that choice? It is not an easy answer.

[@tankman20064]

Not hard leh. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 so easy

[@Unknown20231]

That's very dangerous. To allow an disabled person live without supervieion may have more consequences.

[@martindawn934]

Despite his statement in Parliament, Ong Ye Kung failed to offer specific information to refute the claims made by the WP and PSP. Although he stated that data was provided upon request, the information provided during his and Dr Tan See Leng’s Ministerial Statements in 2021 was presented in a way that was difficult to understand. In fact, Mr Leong had to ask additional questions during subsequent parliamentary sessions to obtain more information. Despite this, the data was still insufficient to paint a comprehensive picture of the labour situation.

[@MrBoliao98]

I think we all long term need some kind of care centres and different iterations of MINDS and others for more severe cases. She has the money to do it, what about those with no money? Imagine you stuck in a 3 Room flat and get abuse, how then?

[@jessicalim1379]

客观反映：一个国土之所以能够称为国家是需要具备有国度和家园，这两大重要的条件和层面来形成。在我们这个地球上，有一些人是以利益和人才集中来成立其领域，那么这些地方也只能称得上是 ‘’一所公司”，而不是一个国家。尝试想一想，人类可以把 "公司" 当家园吗？求神怜悯帮助我们地球人。神是爱！🙏🏻💞🌻🌏💞🌈

[@SIDEKICKONYOUTUBE]

they left him

[@tankman20064]

Must be cheaper there ?

[@jarrodyuki7081]

Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@user-jc1zm3qd8x]

You tube 📮 Vesak Day celebration 2014

[@zopaseah4982]

It will only get worse. So, why do u need to live in spore? Why dont u stay with him? Why do u need to stay apart from him? Already 26yrs old, still no focus, ... he need to do something in his life, such as learning a skill or hobby, just need one that he like n could do, n to make it a life long skill, gardening, painting, woodwork, farming, planting etc. After 35 - 40yrs old, it will get worse, ... how will it go from then on? Also, u should live with him, assisted by carers. Unless u need to work, or busy with biz. U had spoiled him from young, he seems to become uncontrollable when angry ... bcos he is not a normal child, he should be taught discipline, not allow him to get away with violence, he learned the wrong lesson ... all the more he should be taught what is not good n not allowed. Also, u dont hv to spend time teaching about the world about autism, u should focus on helping your son to learn his daily chore, cooking, washing etc. No amount of sugar words i use can replace the hard fact- u need to make him more subdued, b4 something worse happen. Sori, i respect your decision, but imo u should go back to your son. Your partner can survive well enough without u, but your son need u still.

[@matildawormwood4181]

I think you should read her book "Where Does My Autistic Son Belong" to gain a better understanding of her struggles. I'm sure you'll find answers to some of the questions you posed here in the book 😌

[@zopaseah4982]

@@matildawormwood4181 her answer n justification are already clear in this cna news, but u dont get my point- i dont buy her excuse n justification to live away from him.