Going To Couple's Therapy | Chosen Family Podcast

Mak explains the concept of “old” and “young” ages. Alayna shares why every couple could benefit from couple’s therapy. Ashley gets vulnerable about the perils of a public open relationship.
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[@ashgavs]

Cousins, apologies for being so rambly and long winded in this episode. I was in such a bad pain flare and so tired I was on my best performance. Hope you still enjoyed. This is a one time pass for the chunk of you that doesn’t like dad, today, you’re right, I never STFU 😂 ❤

[@i.n8826]

Not how it felt at all from my perspective! It was a really good episode❤ Hope you feel better!

[@ashgavs]

@@i.n8826I got treatment from my doctor who is a godsend and I’m feeling so much better

[@disney_youtubefan113]

@@i.n8826agreed

[@Cc44444]

Seconding the above comment, not how i felt about it at all! We love dad! Hope the pain flare has lightened up a bit at least❤

[@douniak1518]

noo there's no need to apologize. if someone has a problem with listening to you talk then it's on them for choosing to listen to a podcast where they know you're gonna be talking. please never stfu

[@theembersinside1420]

As a 42 yr old, hearing u all say "42 is young" more than once was REALLY nice to hear this morning! haha 🙃

[@AniMin82]

Same!! 💜

[@kybifox13]

Oh my gosh 😂 Ashley turning around in her chair being shy and vulnerable was the absolutely the cutest thing 😂🤍

[@eileahsims8092]

I swear, every time Ashley talks about her and Jen's relationship, I get all warm and fuzzy inside and think, "Omigosh, they're so cute!!!" WE LOVE YOU, ASHLEY!!!🥰

[@JanneBernards]

Have you seen this week's WHGS episode? It's with Jen.

[@eileahsims8092]

@@JanneBernards Yes. I watched it. It was great! 😍🥰

[@alexorpin9893]

Would like to commend Mak and Ashley for the restraint shown about the black tank top in this episode 👏

[@ttarotkidd]

it's inspiring af that Ashley didn't start comedy until age 26, wow. also PS Ashley we love you so much you're such a sweetheart fr

[@circleofleaves2676]

It's wild to me how people double-down with assumptions and negative comments about people they don't know. Ashley, your approach to being in an open relationship is like Alayna's approach going to couples' therapy - neither is to save the relationship, neither is because you're in crisis, you're able to do both because the relationships are so solid and healthy. In both you can touch on the cracks without it triggering an earthquake. It's awesome. Unfortunately it is a minority who can do this. But as we know, minority groups doesn't equal "wrong" or "bad", despite society's attempts over time to portray them/us that way, and using the status quo to look down on any of us doing things differently and doing them WELL. Keep doing you. 💚

[@yeahokay...actuallynah]

in relation to the intro... as a child i would try to explain to my childhood dog that i was the same person even with a new hair cut. i think we got there in the end

[@cherylmacedo5521]

Lol. That’s hysterical 🤍🤍🤍

[@trustingintuition]

The pup named Bunny that started the button/animal trend actually had to be put on antidepressants

[@kaleb7931]

Best thing my spouse and I did before we got married was couples therapy. We have been married for 12 years now and couldn’t be happier.

[@kestrel161]

On the topic of healthy (open) relationships, two resources I'd highly recommend are the book "More Than Two" by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, which is hands-down the best book on relationships (open or otherwise) that I've ever read, and an episode of the All My Relations podcast titled "Decolonizing Sex," which discusses polyamory from an indigenous and anti-colonialist perspective. Both resources have been hugely influential and helpful in my own life, even as someone currently in a monogamous romantic relationship.

[@Raddiebaddie]

It’s ok Ashley, 37 may be old but 38 is young so just wait one more year to be young again 😂❤

[@eyeseajujubee]

Bugs meowing at the perfect moment. Too cute!

[@ignorance_is_not_bliss]

ashley, you saying that you're very ambitious but satisfied throughout trying to reach those goals struck a huge chord with me. I've always tried to keep myself small in terms of goals to be realistic, an I hate it but felt/feel like that's the only way to live smartly, but I've never considered I can be realistic and overly ambitious at the same time purely from the satisfaction of the journey. so thank you!

[@kat4t4]

Mak looks so cute with that hairstyle!!! I also loved it in the recent episode i think

[@Zweigenhaft9]

“Yyyyeah *shrug” omg Ashley being an insecure little bottom is THE FUNNIEST thing I’ve seen on this podcast in a minute 😂😭💀

[@Emily-hf9ud]

US therapist here! Yes 15 minute consultations are a thing here too! So many people do not realize that is an option and it is something I try and spread the word on to make the finding a therapist journey a little easier.

[@camelcaseco]

the whole "do words change perception" thing is like. the Biggest debate in linguistics. "linguistic relativity" or the "sapir-whorf hypothesis", i dont know enough to like explain it but its some cool stuff

[@ashgavs]

It 100% changes perception who the fuck doesn’t believe that????

[@Mune-sn6sg]

As a bilingual person I have to say that I think differently when I speak English than when I speak French. Actually, I think that I’m a slightly different person depending on the language I’m speaking, if that makes sense.

[@Tomie_Uzumaki]

Will there be a time that Mak promotes to like a toddler or something?

[@mariem.5613]

Why is this different camera angle SO attractive on Alayna!?!

[@SavannahGlenn]

the old and young ages thing is so true! i saw that video a couple weeks ago too

[@ericadecopas]

Do you have that video? I really want to see it!

[@SavannahGlenn]

@@ericadecopas i’m sorry bro i looked but i couldn’t find it

[@kylecat98]

Love the continuity from last week Edit: Best ad timing ever!

[@terraexcognita6637]

My partner and I decided to be proactive about couples counseling before moving in together. We do it every other weekend. It's really helpful for broaching difficult topics.

[@anu3400]

I really loved hearing about Ashley's perspective on reaching goals and and how the process is an experience. I am someone going into the STEM field at the moment but I honestly do hope that I could do my best; not only in my primary focus but also in the other things that I get involved in. Thank you guys for this podcast.

[@Mariethechaotic]

10:36 omg Alayna, you're hitting on the biggest argument I make in regards to going to therapy and making therapy accessible as individuals. In my neck of the woods (Vancouver Island) we can only access free therapy if we're literally in crisis. When I was struggling with an eating disorder or actively self harming I could get in (for 8 weeks) but otherwise there was nothing. I finally started going to therapy anyway because 👏👏I don't want to BE in CRISIS in order to get HELP👏👏. It was subsidized at the time but the non-profit has since been underfunded and can't do that anymore. Ironically, as a non-profit employee myself, I don't make enough to afford as much therapy as I need (I can't even afford the once every 10ish days I'm currently trying to do) because, shocker, we're ALSO underfunded. I may never be in a relationship because I'm too broken to handle my relationship with myself nevermind anyone externally, but if I do I would definitely want to have couple's therapy once in awhile to check in.

[@harleyshanks]

To respond to the intro: I look to my cat for reassurance that we’re NOT haunted lmao. If he’s chill, I’m chill

[@kimberlyn4893]

I listen to both podcasts but I have to actually WATCH this one because so much of what's funny is the faces you all make in reaction to each other.

[@sunnydays9144]

I just got an email to tell me Ashley's coming to my city, but guess what, I already have tickets and I'm bringing 2 friends who didn't know Ashley yet! I beat the e-mail list to the punch like a good little bottom 🤓

[@margotm4874]

I love to hear you talk about open relationships and how they are not (always) a way to save it/make it work. they can and should be as healthy and loving as monogamous ones, thank you for reducing the stigma around them

[@albertqhumperdinck]

I didnt have a problem with turning 30 but 31 was really difficult. Not that I felt old or over the hill, just that 31 didnt feel like a real number. Any time I had to say my age, i felt like I had given a joke answer. I just lied and said I was 32 for 2 years.

[@kileybatchelor]

This is one of my favorite podcasts! I hate to say this but it’s been somewhat hard to get through the last few episodes. It may be because they’ve been pre recorded idk. I love the up to date episodes and getting updates on your lives. I get that’s so hard with everyone’s schedule but those up to date episodes are so enjoyable! I hope I’m not the only one who feels this way. I love this podcast so much and just genuinely curious if anyone else feels this.

[@ashgavs]

These are like... maybe 3 weeks behind our regular life and always have been. We actually had a larger time gap when we started, like months and months. So maybe its something else we can try to be better at?

[@Grim_Reapers_Wife]

5 minutes in and I've already had to rewind because the jokes were so funny

[@evegowan7227]

This has got to be my favourite episode so far. From the attachment style chat being EXACTLY what I needed. To the open relationship thing from Ashley, I’m so glad and proud she shares her experience with the world because the right people understand. I love. 🙌

[@benjulesrun9057]

Ashley mentioned her "other podcast" on literally the last whgs that dropped

[@Mariethechaotic]

6:01 Ashley, you should watch compilations of Angela from Smosh. She has *the most* expressive faces I've ever seen and I fucking love her so much. Chanse is second. Not because I don't think your faces are great. They're also hilarious. But I think you would love Angela's too. She's chaos incarnate. During a roast, one of her coworkers referred to her as a "feral Guinea pig" and it fit so well, the moniker has stuck for, I think, over a year

[@alternativelyabled3757]

Polyamory is great for building better communication and intimacy but only when there is a solid foundation of communication and intimacy. ❤ It takes the right partner(s).

[@zairamacias5515]

I had the exact same reaction as Ashley when I heard Bugs asmr, please I need more

[@the_rest_is_confetti]

I finally became a Patron so now Dad can't bully me :)

[@ashgavs]

love you son

[@Jojopinapples]

Personally, I'm a long-time subscriber to Alaina and learned who Ashley and Mac were because of this pod cast. But now I have benged watch more whgs then this pod cast, that I've been listening to sense day 1. Alaina was my introduction to the pod cast world, thank you.

[@eyeAmBrittanyH]

As a 23 year old... I feel OLD and honestly, I think this is the only age that has a correlation. It's the fact you are just coming out of university and being removed from everyone. You feel OLD

[@whovianrusher7145]

I'm also 23 and that's exactly the feeling

[@Kmi_ni]

Day 2 of asking you to drop Better Help once your contract is up, their track record is so so bad 😭(among other things, currently in a lawsuit for selling client info)

[@xxxalexdau]

the fact that I was literally taking an attachment style quiz to see what mine is currently before hopping onto this episode and y'all are talking about attachment styles lol

[@GrapefruitCat2]

My favorite podcast mwah mwah ofc Ashley tell us update. And I’ve never been more called out I do just need a hug 🧎‍♀️😩

[@OllyOptimist]

Ashley calling the non patron members names, makes me stay a non patron 😂 I like it and im stubborn to do the opposite of what im told

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

Oppositional Defiance Disorder enters the chat 😂 possibly also some sort of bdsm-esque affinity for being called mean names and deriving parasocial pleasure from it.

[@cherylmacedo5521]

Hysterical, and same.

[@val.628]

The convo about cats and communication at the beginning really got me thinking lol, I suspect cats would be relieved to be able to communicate more effectively with people (especially when they rely on people to take care of them). Obviously cats aren’t people, but I was thinking about how the most distressing thing to babies/young children is often their inability to communicate what’s wrong or what they want before they’ve learned to speak well. It turns out that babies can learn sign language before they can communicate verbally though, and once they learn a few signs they have much fewer meltdowns because they can communicate what they want and have their needs met faster and more reliably. I also don’t think that a few buttons would change cats’ ability to communicate so vastly that it would fundamentally change how they think. I think cats can probably communicate a lot more to each other than they can to us, so making it easier for us to understand them would probably just bridge that gap some. I don’t see it as very different than training my dog to scratch at the door when he needs to go outside, which I think only benefits both of us lol. Just found this interesting to think about!

[@canadianicedragon2412]

22:00 Ashley: I'm not unsatisfied, I'm tired. Me: Stop bringing up Vanessa. 30:00 Ashley, wearing a backwards cap, turns completely away from the camera... and all I can think of is Cousin It, because it looks like a person facing forward with their face covered in hair.... LOL Alayna and Mak finally coax Ashley back into looking at the camera, she opens her mouth to speak and the Factor ad plays. I feel like that was deliberate.

[@bronzepinata2134]

God I wanna know which had guests ashley is talking about

[@sarahip51]

The Dan Savage film festival they mentioned at the end is called HUMP!

[@nikeestar]

Ashley I just saw your show in London. Stay awesome!

[@maxwee6949]

I just got jumpscared by Mak's horror movie child -impression. The heartattack I got.. almost threw my phone on the wall 😭

[@faeriesandrainbows]

Dan Savage's film festival is called HUMP!

[@isobeltaylor7792]

The age thing is so real I feel so old because I’m married at 22 but we have been together nearly 4 years I feel so old and young all at the same time

[@KittyRoyalty777]

The way mommy and baby are insecure about dads other podcast😂

[@jessicaonymous4352]

Is everything okay will Mak? She's been quieter the post few episodes. I know she's moved recently, and that can be a big life stressor (even when it's happy to move on with a partnered, it's a major change). I hope she is doing well, she's lovely!!!

[@erinscanlan5115]

I fully relate to Ashley's comment about people thinking that she only agreed to be in an open relationship because Jen wanted it. This is my biggest pet peeve and insecurity in my own relationship (also open/poly). Nearly every time i have come out as poly, someone asks me if im being taken advantage of "just to make sure" and it feels like they're erasing my agency and capacity to consent.

[@drawlynnfaves]

we want to hear your update ashley 🥺

[@Domisdom]

We want to hear your update Ashley 🤲🤲🤲🤲🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@life_full_of_delight]

Dan's film festival is hump. And btw i would love to see Dan on "the other podcast"

[@michellerbn]

So true because my attachment style To my therapist is secure. Everyone else?! Anxious avoidant lol

[@BrianaChildersHorn]

***SOMEONE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG*** But didn't Karen and Georgia from the MFM Podcast go to therapy together as podcast hosts to work on their work relationship/friendship? I don't think you guys should back away from that as an option in your own personal/professional work relationship if you felt like that was ever needed. (not assuming anything, promise!) I only brought this up because of what Alayna starts saying around 11:25 about learning the best ways to communicate in the best way possible for each other. I really enjoyed hearing that, and my partner and I are starting to look for our own couples therapist so we can continue to build on our relationship because of this episode. Thank you!!

[@Julie.Apricot]

At first I got surprised to see my >other< fav podcast mentioned & then I thought “well of course majority of coming out ‘orphans’ are also murderinos” 😂

[@erinscanlan5115]

Multiamory is a great podcast about ENM!

[@polinavyakhireva9962]

3:12 LMAO

[@TonyFagalucci]

As a listener of both podcasts, and being the gossipy mofo i can be, i am curious which guests Ashley has not clicked with.

[@cherylmacedo5521]

Lol. Same

[@bilong92]

Parasocial comment for the algorithm

[@alpha2legs]

Equally relevant parasocial response with equal algorithmic intentions

[@whyyyyyyyyy]

I’m joining said parasocial comments for the great algorithm

[@obliviate1953]

Love you, guys

[@annarobbiewilcox6347]

I just looked at my liked videos on KZbin cause I was curious and the first video I ever liked was Alayna's sister tag from 8 years ago. look how far we've come🥲

[@monicalazar766]

mak literally said like 3 words :( i would love to hear mak speaking, and I think you guys should give her more opportunities to speak

[@hannahhowden8980]

Woah that cat intro gave us so much insight to Ashley’s brain it’s not even funny

[@SandraLugn-nc1rk]

As a hole episod this was my favourite.

[@Im-lx3qt]

Let's get the Chosen Family to 100K subscribers!!! ^ Subscribe

[@scubagoldfish45]

I want to just write DUMB but I'm not that guy and this was too smort. 😅

[@LewisDR96]

The age old/young comparison is interesting and let me think about it purely in what I’ve felt for my 20s anyway 20&21 - Old (no longer in teens and old enough to be able to drink in America if i wanted to) 22-24 young (young adult feeling) 25 old (quarter century hitting me) 26-27 young enjoying my life It’s an awesome thing to consider though

[@m.czandogg9576]

29:12 Omg lol

[@ericadecopas]

oh yeah, in non monogamous, and it's really annoying out there. people say some messed up shit, I hate it.

[@Julie.Apricot]

@MissFenderr I’m surprised that you are doing research on attachment styles since the root of it is not science-based at all I’d love to hear more about the backbone of your project if you posted about it somewhere I’d def check it out! (Tho I’m psych student too so idk how many viewers would be into it)

[@bilong92]

hey just out of curiosity, can you say more about the root of attachment theory not being evidence based, or maybe point me to what I should read? I learned about it a lot in grad school but I am also currently unlearning a lot of what I was taught about trauma (like that book, the body keeps the score, being pseudoscience) and I wanna dive deeper, thanks!

[@itsmj3103]

"We took you to a porn? 😨" LMAO???

[@daisyvences4010]

Omg…so I’m dating and me and ny girl are thinking about therapy

[@swiftie4856]

My insecure ass self would definitely think it’s me that Ashley’s talking about not wanting to talk to again on her podcast

[@user-uw9jo3xd7p]

People with degradation k1nk intentionally don’t subscribe to podcast’s Patreon for Ashley to call them names in every episode Istg (not saying from personal experience nooooo)

[@thirdspacemaker9141]

First! Someone has to do it.

[@mitchducky962]

Good morning beautiful day hello 👋🏾 everyone podcast chat 🆒💪🏾🫴🏾🤳🏾🔜🤳🏾🆗😎💌💬💯

[@spiderlinz]

comment for the algo

[@31051982loz]

❤

[@fannydoucet6750]

I enjoy listening to whgs from time to time but it never cracks me up like you guys here can. I guess it's because I'm autistic so more attuned to your kind of humor ? Idk

[@fannydoucet6750]

Oh no wait that's not true, I just listened to the last episode and laughed a lot

[@rereresist]

DUMB if you dont like this podcast

[@dynamo1240]

Third .

[@finkleycarrot]

if i were to explain the masc behind the scenes in a lesbian relationship thing to a straight person.. i might say "have you ever seen the barefoot contessa? i'm the jeffrey."

[@AlexxWoodwick]

I’m here first and foremost because your hilarious but also. . . You weren’t wrong about being family-less, unhoused, and on fentanyl unfortunately lol

[@aurora3655]

Maybe u should get a straight boy jock on the show , and interview him. It might be funny. Or try some slapstick.

[@ashgavs]

we do that on the other pod

[@aurora3655]

@@ashgavs kzbin.info/www/bejne/p6ecZ6yAjs2eaa8feature=shared

[@neilwalker4686]

hi love this podcast, just to mention in my humble opinion Alayna and mac are meant for each other. The way mac looks when Alayna is talking, like she is hooked. i am male but not queer, but these are my feelings

[@kerizella]

what

[@BrianaChildersHorn]

I think you’re just fetishizing, and sharing your own personal fantasy and opinion which no one asked for. Alayna is happily engaged, Mak is happily in relationship, you are making connections where there isn’t any. Male, female, NB, queer, or not, these are real people and they don’t need your “humble opinion” on their relationships. Should have stopped at “hi love this podcast.”

[@12monkies123]

Great epilepsy

[@GirliestMammy]

💖