Chris Williamson: The Shocking New Research On Why Men And Women Are No Longer Compatible! | E237

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

This is one of the most diverse and thought-provoking episodes we've ever recorded. If you like this type of episode could you do us a favour and hit the like button, it helps determine what type of conversations we have on this channel, thank you! 🙏

[@Ghe608]

Omg man!!! Was just going to sleep!! NOW I MUST SATAY AWAKE AND WATCH!! Ok might as well use this time wisely … 300 sit-ups floor exercises and sauna ALL WHILE LEARNING!! Omg !! Your shows are sooooooo yummy!! Interestingly enough I don’t necessarily love every guest that you have on …BUT I love your interview questions! … ok .. LETS GO!!!!💪🏽❤️❤️❤️👍🏾

[@tinxonfski]

I was so looking forward to see you both on an episode at some point! Jumping on this right now!

[@Xisk77]

‘They don’t want me but they need me, so that’s close enough’ hit harder than my dad xD

[@amandareid931]

I do understand issues of maturity for boys, however, their social skills would then really suffer. Chris does state that girls are more able to have a social circle than boys but starting them a year later would be catastrophic to the very skills they need to forge ahead.

[@lolonggg06]

Can you interview men like Jeremie Lotemo instead 😂

[@midasthestallion4105]

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” - Jim Carrey

[@Sheed96]

woooww Jim Carrey thank you

[@inquisitor4635]

Not the most sane individual. And is on the Epstein flight list.

[@Mightydoggo]

That´s true. But unlike living in a overcrowded city, it also won´t end you 20 years early.

[@MissSpookyMooky]

100% percent agree with it being addictive, peaceful and calming. And the people seeming more draining after a while of peace. But I just don't see it as dangerous.

[@6WoodForest]

Yea, it is super great and loving it.

[@dnbjedi]

"The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone who makes you feel alone…"

[@meganrutter1989]

Narcissists will do that.

[@gballmaier]

Especially with my wife and kids!!!

[@paulfortone3049]

Robin Williams said this before he .......

[@enriquecastillo7487]

So if I made you feel alone then you can simply choose to ignore me or etc... But if you were locked away alone in a jail or stuck on island , that is probably way worse. To actually be alone.

[@guillermoguevara6375]

Then leave

[@dree8300]

People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. That's the main problem. After years of therapy and healing, I can no longer date people who think being empathetic and kind is being weak nor people who don't have an ounce of self-awareness. They just end up spitting all their unresolved drama at your face like you're the problem. Hurt people hurt people. That's just life. Edit : for people ready to jump in the comments, note that I don't put myself above others in this. I take the blame when it belongs to me and I apologize. That's the key here. I draw the line at people who can't take ownership. Sorry if I've triggered some people. That was not my intention at all.

[@Kushgroove234]

Do you think you where a person who hurt people because you where hurt prior to therapy? Is it possible to show compassion to those individuals rather than holding resentment ?

[@dree8300]

@@Kushgroove234 I've probably hurt people prior to therapy. I prolly will hurt people in the future. Sometimes you can't control how you make others feel even if you have the best intentions. I don't hold resentment anymore, but I won't forget. I'm just saying when people won't help themselves, you better let go, cause no one can but them. It's just a big waste of energy from my experience. But there will always be exceptions and humans are really complex. I've had enough trauma in my life as is, I'm not gonna share my life with someone who won't do the work and will keep on hurting me cause they won't recognize it in the first place. Doesn't mean I don't have compassion for them, but I can only love them from afar, wish them the best and be on my way.

[@Venusbabe66]

I totally agree with you! I opted out of dating and relationships many years ago due to the realisation that not only is the dating pool in my age group (40-60) so shallow to be almost non-existent; but that generally speaking... denial, unresolved trauma, major self-awareness issues, and the lack of desire to heal in a healthy way are so rife, it's breathtaking and ultimately, it makes seeking a genuine, good relationship virtually impossible. I'm happy to be surprised by the universe one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

[@sportysbusiness]

@@Venusbabe66 Same here.

[@sunnyadams5842]

In COMPLETE resonance. No resentment. Just different.

[@saenes6295]

I escaped solitude when i was 20 years old in 2017, i had nothing, and i did nothing. One day, some random guy form the past remembered where i lived and asked if i wanted to join for a run in the park with his running buddies. That was all it took for me to change my life almost automatically. Even tho today i don't talk to any of them. One act of kindness is all it took, loneliness is a serious problem, but all you gotta do is get out there, literally.

[@godspeed6991]

I'm always seeking solitude.

[@JoachimMoeller]

Quite the heartwarming story. In a similar spirit, here's one of my all-time favorite quotes: *“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.” Shannon L. Alder* "I _escaped_ solitude...". Your wording sounds like you made a clean Andy Dufresne-style escape. May you never get caught. 🤞🤪🤞

[@MelindaRodriguez-cs1kn]

There’s a woman who walks around my condo complex. She waves and smiled at me. I wish every single time that she’d ask me if I wanted to join her. Since she doesn’t ask I assume she does not what that. What was done to put me into this situation has left me with literally zero idea on what to do to solve it. So I lay around like a lump. Trying to figure out what to do. It’s hard to figure out with no one to ask.

[@joninpgh]

@@MelindaRodriguez-cs1kn It could be that she’s a little shy and hoping you ask her.

[@connordickerson6815]

​@MelindaRodriguez-cs1kn perhaps start walking or go and introduce yourself to her I know it's daunting but at least then you know where you stand, just be polite and respectful.

[@mandorasbox]

In my 20’s I felt lonely but had quite a few friends around me. Now I’m 58 I enjoy solitude, have less friends and don’t feel lonely. I think loneliness is something you have to break through because as an eternal being in someways you are alway alone. Meditation helps. Other beings can bring different aspects of your personality out but no one can make you happy or bring you peace. It’s something you have to do yourself.

[@toyefalety9013]

Boom! Look within right?

[@mandorasbox]

@@toyefalety9013 yes

[@waylorr]

🙏🏻

[@jernisharichard5032]

Yes, always look within,find what makes you happy,also see what others can do for you too, they can bring out new things that y'all both can enjoy, don't be unequally yoked,find someone with the same Christian values as you,just try don't have sex,see what there is out there you might be surprised,❤

[@mindpowertransformations7742]

You are right, that happiness is an inner state, an internal decision we can make, and that we need to be at ease and content with our relationship with self. Without being able to love ourselves, it's really hard to really love others. It's great that you're happy in your own company, however, deep down, humans naturally have an innate need to be part of a tribe, and to feel connected. It's also important for our health to interact socially. As a therapist, I'm just aware that most, not all people, who claim that they are perfectly happy being alone, aren't truly. It's a coping mechanism. By supressing their true wants/needs/desires, however, subconsciously, they've triggered all kinds of issues. I'm not saying that's you, just be mindful that you are completely honest with your thoughts and feelings.

[@andrecoetzee7836]

"Discipline is the thing you need. What would you tomorrow, want you today to do?" Such a simple but powerful statement.

[@nonyobisniss7928]

As someone with ADHD it isn't much help, unfortunately. I lack the ability or focus to even think about the future beyond a feeling of dread. I can totally understand how that question should help though. Actually I got in the habit of asking myself out loud "What am I trying to achieve?" almost every day, but beyond a little bit of daydreaming my mind forgets and moves on to other random thoughts. I just can't plan.

[@andrecoetzee7836]

@@nonyobisniss7928 I have suspected that I may have ADHD for a very long time because I experience similar struggles to those you describe daily, particularly with an immense difficulty with focus and daydreaming. Even when I go by the DSV 5 diagnostic criteria and symptoms of ADHD I find I meet pretty much all of them. That being said, what I find has helped me a lot particularly during my master's that I just finished, was using some kind of journal/diary/daily planner/organizer. Try maybe write down your goals and objectives for each day and timelines by when you want things done (or timeframes/limits in which you want them done). This I found helped me immensely with getting things done and helping me to remember about tasks I need to do and thoughts or ideas I had. Another thing I found more effective was to rather focus on short intensive bouts of hard work with frequent breaks, rather than long bouts of work where my mind will inevitably wander.

[@dashabateman4409]

You know your weaknesses. Just find a solution instead of an excuse

[@nonyobisniss7928]

@@dashabateman4409 The solution is drugs, but acquiring them involves doing lots of stuff people with ADHD can't really do on their own.

[@shawnstephens6795]

@@nonyobisniss7928 ...write it all down...make a schedule...stick to it...turn your daily, weekly and monthly goals into routine to the point you don't have to think about it anymore. +

[@ChrisWillx]

Really enjoyed this one mate, thanks for having me!

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Thanks for coming on mate! Could have spoken to you for hours

[@jovillaver8594]

I love you, both! Thank you for this awesome episode!

[@ericdraven3654]

Chris, you are my role model.

[@MuringoG]

Just brilliant!! My take home - choose your regret!! 👌👌

[@rainbowwarpig3536]

Actions is the true measure of intelligence. My imposter syndrome keeps me in chains

[@Joshhhh1995]

This interview is, without fail, one of the best you have done to date Steven. Chris is a beacon of light in this backwards world that we have all ended up in. Thank you so much to both of you for proving such great insights. For my fellow listeners, start with gratitude. It's only up once you consistently feel a deep sense of gratitude. I love you all :)

[@carolinespence15]

not every woman wants a family. But yes if that is what you want do it early

[@benthacker2475]

I’m a 44 year old man. My last relationship was in 2018. I have never been surveyed about dating but I relate to what Chris says. My issue is a feeling of unworthiness and having nothing to offer. I don’t do drugs or drink, nor do I play video games. I don’t post this for pity or sympathy ( my current mental state is my responsibility) I post this because his statements ring true in my ear and he describes my mindset shockingly well

[@poizen-ivy]

Maybe it's the type of people you pursue.

[@SparkyX3X]

Taking action will do wonders for you mate. You are worthy of love and acceptance. Once you believe it, you will conceive it.

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

@Ben thacker, i feel ya Brother Maybe many feel this way. But the first thing is to stop comparing yourself to others, others are not as Allknowing or perfect either, nor are we. I think the more we realize everyone is flawed and have shortcomings, the sooner we drop the disapöointments even with ourselves or exoectations. In this day and age, i feel just surviving the work day or day is one of the greatest accomplishments lol Everyone's struggling and falling short due to this forced way of barely living, to have no ebergy left fir that which is the most important ; our family & loved ones. So be gentle compassionate, lobing and kind to yourself. I myself am on a self acceptance, self love and healing journey. Ive never been in a relationship, im closing my 40's soon. But no more shame or guilt for who i am. As long as one has got one's heart in the right place and a good head on the shoulders, thats enough. Everything else is a discovery journey, by ourselves or with others. Keep the faith, and keep working or focusing on building yourself up, accept the loneliness and becone your best friend & cheerleader ✊☯️ All the best to us all!!

[@Lioness_UTV]

I love your honesty, it's particularly helpful to read as it will resonate with many men AND women who find themselves in similar positions. What I would say is please consider seeing someone who you can talk this through. A therapist you connext with. Many times especially those who have self awareness turn that in on themselves, and can be really helpful to have a neutral person who cares about your welfare no one else's redirect you back to yourself. Just an idea...not everything has to done on your own.

[@jasonfrye8790]

@UniqueGeekFreak WOW! Beautifully said my friend!

[@dijo9581]

"You cant get out of making a choice, not making a choice is still a choice". Those are the exact words of wisdom I have been saying to someone close to me who is suffering with anxious cycles of avoidance. I love the balance of the polarities of our masculine and feminine nature that comes out of the discussion within this podcast. Very insightful!

[@jordyvanbennekom5317]

Made this my life's motto: "At the end of your life, you'll regret the things you DIDN'T do more than the things you DID do. However, you'll have to choose your regrets. You can do anything you want in life, but you can't do everything you want."

[@meshezza]

Wise words, my friend

[@cityguyusa]

You really can't do anything in life. Your upbringing restricts even your thoughts as to what's an option. When I was growing up I wanted to do everything. I had an incredible curiosity about everything. I still do at 62 years old but I didn't get any support from my parents in fact it was almost the opposite because I wasn't focused and my mother used that against me instead of encouraging my curiosity. It wreaked of jealousy. Long story short my parents divorced when I was in high school against my wishes that they wait till I graduated which was a year or so away. Even though I was told over and over again that they wanted me to go to college they didn't put 5 cents away for that. Just from this you can see how quickly we're limited as to what's available. The internet wasn't even around so the opportunities that people have access to now didn't exist until I was almost 50. And how many people today are comsidering being jet pilots or marine biologists or politicians? Everyone thinks they're going to make it doing podcasts and entertainment is big but will it support the people that don't have name recognition or something unique to sell? I think consolidation is coming and we'll see how many get to continue on regardless of their niche.

[@Kittyxoxo]

i've been living my life for myself because of that, i used to be a people-pleaser and then realised im not happy regardless if i do them any favors or not, so just go out there, explore and try your best to be happy within yourself without relying on others... i found video games helps a lot since i talk to my friends a lot, and my work place is great :)

[@loverofhumanity]

This is wrong. You can not do anything you want to do in life. I understand the positive thinking but I wish people were more pragmatic. Find your strengths. Oftentimes in life its not about doing what you enjoy doing. Its about doing what you're best and most qualified for and then make a career out of it. Make the shit you enjoy a hobby of yours and call it a life. Because if you don't you will often grow old and find no success which imho is the hardest of lives.

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

Luckily in the end it doesn’t matter. No regrets when you’re dead and forgotten.

[@jasonogburn9280]

Im a single, never married, childless 39 year old man who installs safety architecture at institutions, academies, and businesses. I have to say this has been one of the most enlightening insightful conversations about dating ive ever heard.

[@nicolehustles]

Is this by choice or you haven’t found the one?

[@PrettyPattySushi]

Careful Jason. You have a good paying career. Most women want stability. I would be shocked if this didn't open you up to a horde of women chasing you down. lol. The quality of men I find online don't have respectable jobs, tend to bum off women, and use online dating as a catalog for free saxy time. BTW most women still WANT to be asked out or told they look pretty so you can try that and check to see if they have a boyfriend. I think guys should make the first move. If anything it would be seen as a compliment. ;D

[@Pusfilth]

Better have a kid soon bro

[@JewTube001]

@@PrettyPattySushi Jason is an insanely average guy. If you want one of him then you get one of him. Maybe it just takes women turning 40 to settle for a Jason. Most women play around for long periods of time and don't settle down till their 40s, so before that a boring stable guy has no benefit for them.

[@samij6071]

The fact that you believe "Most" women don't settle down until their 40's shows how little you actually know abt women -based purely on the STATS. It is far more men who choose to settle later in life, and by then many of them are in fact "settling" bc the so called "high value women" who don't already have a failed marriage or LTR + children is vanishingly small. Perhaps you should get your data from the raw # s rather than the manosphere but then again, I'd expect nothing less from someone who chose the name "JewTube:." @@JewTube001

[@mercedesgc]

I find that the concept of ‘choosing your regrets’ is absolutely spot on. The idea of being able of ‘having it all’ is just a fantasy. As a woman I have both, a friend that wonders how far she could have gotten professionally if she hadn’t had to slow down to take time to raise her children and another one that accepted a managing position and didn’t have enough time to be around her children. So at the end of the day, they both have regrets. You better choose well with which ones you can live with and feel happy about the positive of what you have accomplished instead of worrying about what it could have been, because regrets are inevitable. That’s life.

[@月亮-g5f]

Very wise words, thank you for your advice

[@NANINANI-cs6rn]

Actually you're wrong, balance IS essentiel for life, and regret isn't inevitable

[@zweisteinya]

Y'all don't get it - female souls choosing to be men and vice versa

[@Currymaxxed]

Not everything is a choice. You don't get to choose to feel sad when a loved one dies. You can choose to try and not feel sad but its not up to you. This concept that humans have meaningful agency is the biggest fantasy of our time. The advice should be "when you feel upset about your life choices understand the feeling is transient and life is unpredictable. You are doing your best."

[@Currymaxxed]

bruh these women are living in another dimension @@NANINANI-cs6rn

[@suzanablank5809]

In late 1980 the vision of internet being talked about was coupled with concern for humans to become more and more estranged and lonely, and how it can be the end of humans/civilisation and world we knew it then. And now 40ish years later that concern became reality. It was so easy to foresee it. Brilliant interview, host and guest.

[@stephengrant4841]

One of the first things I would do as dictator of the world would be to heavily restrict the internet. Educational content only, no social media or dating apps, no brain rot, no radical political propaganda. You get to find out how the sun works, and that's it.

[@mariak3212]

Could you look up if the earth is flat in your dictatorship? ​@@stephengrant4841

[@NikosM112]

Only men are lonely. Women are not. Attention for them is like going shopping.

[@aries-seventhseal2473]

Nothing works without us. We go through it to GET TO IT. ❤. The world view was fear and greed. Now we are waking up to SEE we do deserve to BElove and BE LOVED. GIVE AND RECEIVE. RE'SEE RE'VIEW. FOR GIVE AND FOR GET (RECEIVE). WE DO LOVE AND BE LOVE'ED. ❤BLESSINGS 🙌 🙏 TO YOU AND ALL.

[@michellelynn177]

I sent this to my step-son and my friends. This episode spoke to me on so many levels. I am a woman that never had a chance to have a child because I waited for the right mate. I found him and then he died. Fortunately I was gifted his children. My close girlfriends never married and have no children. And yes, they planned too, but time ran out of time. Thank You this conversation. Love your channel!😍

[@vanessawest1664]

im so sorry you lost your partner after waiting for the right man

[@mb8219]

Oh wow Michelle.... I'm so glad you did find a partner...but so sorry you lost him 😥 but glad you were blessed with his children

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

Mine didn't want kids and wouldn't let me adopt either.

[@kristinrichmond8185]

@@thislittleweirdgirl332did you have that conversation?

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

@@kristinrichmond8185 We absolutely had that conversation before marriage. He agreed then, but when we were married he never wanted to be ready. He didn't want to have to take care of our dog, much less a kid.

[@si0054]

I’m 47, very fit and active with lots of hobbies outdoors like walking and biking. All my old friends trailed off, it’s extremely hard to make new friends no matter how hard I try. Found a group of likeminded people, but I always feel like I’m tagging along than deep inclusive friendship. Even when trying so hard to be a good friend, it’s very hard and lonely.

[@mamoblack7188]

This podcast struck me differently...... i am usually a lost person. Hide away from the world because i have not been able to stand financially and that made me shutout every person in my life. No social media presence, no interaction, no communication...just a lonely and pathetic me. But that has changed from this day. Thanks Steve. Much appreciation Chris

[@mindstef]

Yes, get out there my man! Nobody is meant to sit alone!

[@gaiabeleza]

Would love it if you could say more about why and how you've decided to make this change! I am very happy for you!

[@JodySugarspringerdoodles]

I am happy to hear this. I believe you will be much happier if you try to include other people in your life. This podcast was very inspiring for me also. I want so badly to find a man that is decent and just normal, but it seems there are few and far between that even want a long-term relationship. Being all educated means very little. Most important is what kind of a person are you? Society puts too much importance on education. I'm glad to hear that along with them stating the problem s they also suggest some solutions.

[@itsbonkerjojo9028]

Wow i mean not real wow but literally the oerson i am right now. I am messed up fcked up completely right now . I feel like i don't have any body . It's so hard .

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

HALT!!! Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Solve that need before doing anything serious or rash❤

[@KMayflower]

I took so much away from this. My mom passed away from cancer so she’s no longer with us, but something he said reminded me of one of the things she used to say to me 45 years ago, to do what you hate that needs to be done early in the day and then everything after that will be so blissful AND that you will remember those things better and with more joy if they aren’t tainted with what you still need to do. I’ve let that fall by the wayside and want to get back to that practice!! She would have loved this practical and yet insightfully meaningful conversion!

[@ChrsGotFourEyes]

27 years old here. Ya mom sounds like she was filled with wisdom and foresight!

[@katydonna6015]

Thanks for sharing Katie 🤍

[@ecoconatus8089]

Thank you!

[@Esspie_huez]

I couldn't pull myself away from any word in this interview. And when he said "You're doing great" at the end... I couldn't stop the tears of joy from falling. This was profound, diverse and touching. Thank you.

[@HarmonicWave]

My dad made some big mistakes, some that cost him his marriage of 19 years when I was 12. But when I was really small he made it very clear that no matter what I ever did... he would always love me. That made a big difference. I've been married for almost 13 years now and I make the same promise to my wife. No matter what, I love her and I'm never letting go. Men are supposed to love their wives and love their children, and keep their promises.

[@narutouzumaki2157]

Women also

[@iamusdamma2637]

im trying to keep my promises right now age 26. im writing promises in a book on a daily and im intending to keep them.

[@seanmartin4062]

❤❤❤

[@liweieva]

what a man!!!

[@2banok340]

As I listened to the last 15 minutes of this episode, I could not get over the feeling how close all the people in the world are. And how many little boys have been sitting lonely in the corner. Thank you, gentlemen for your sincerety.

[@ethosterros9430]

It's gonna stay a lonely corner until more women start to care about the boys.

[@VaronPlateando]

‘proximity’ and ‘connectedness’ are delusions, dependant on perspective. eg seen from sidney, australia, cologne vs berlin make for neighborhood agglomerations. or take hamburg vs munich. or more extreme, when I’m tangoing in embrace with female partners (nicely) enacting complementary role, those xx.s per se are virtually non-existent, and if I couldn’t abstract from them, playing that game for its very own sake were impossible. it does certainly help to know about their evo.psych nature enough to guard one’s heart as not owed to anyone.

[@josephtaylor6285]

Listening to Chris is like listening to my emotional doppelgänger. His childhood experiences mirror my own. This was a conversation that has done me wonders. Love his powers of observation.

[@amylouisebrutonl9051]

I tried for a child at 36 by the time the nhs saw us I was forty, by 41 I was told I’d missed the age window for funding, that’s because it took them a year to see me again. I didn’t have finances for IVF treatment and now at 52 I shall continue to grieve, feel isolated from women and seen as not part of the social norm. It was never my intention not to have children, I always wanted children. The heartbreak is felt by myself and husband.

[@halleluyah757]

Unless you feeling you must replicate your specific DNA; there are many children needing parenting

[@gmack8138]

I’m sorry. You did nothing wrong. I don’t have children but I’m Ok. 😊

[@user-uc7qb1su4e]

What did you do before 36?

[@cinders302]

I, 100%, get it; except I've not been married for a many years now; which, at now 60, makes it difficult to find someone who will want to be dedicated to forming a lasting relationship. The pond gets very, very small once a woman gets past childbearing age - even for those of us who have done a decent job of keeping up our physical and mental health. And for sure, if turns of events have made life less financially flexible. It's been my experience, that many men, whether subconsciously or consciously, still look for a woman with their dowry chest well intact. The loss may very well be theirs 😊

[@brimstonebull]

Up until September 9th ,2021, I can honestly say I was a slave to my insecurities and my selfish need to be insufficient in my own eyes. I was a daily user of alcohol. I was a promise breaker, to myself and to others. I carried with me a fear of success only slightly smaller than my fear of failure and I self medicated into a stupor 5/7 days. I am a father, and I tried my addict best to be as good as possible, but the fog of war I trudged in everyday kept any sense of peace or contentment I could have felt at bay. I lived in 24 hour cycles of pain and numbness, with euphoric drunkenness, escapism and despair, self induced and self propelled. I knew I was dying. If not physically, I was spiritually drowning. So one day came after a particularly horrendous family incident, the day I’d been hoping and dreading, preparing for yet never prepared for, the day I decided at last to take control of the only thing I’d never been in control of, and I stopped drinking. Cold turkey as they say. I am just like Chris. Few friends and always a sense of brokenness that hasn’t faded. And then my journey began, alone for the most part, gritting my teeth everyday and refusing to break this one promise I’d made to myself after decades of only self betrayal, and now I look back on the last 640 days and I weep inside, cuz I see 640 days of an unbroken promise. My boys can’t even remember the last time they saw their dad drink. My wife is learning to trust me again. And my mental and physical and spiritual health is as close to healthy as I can remember ever being. What makes me happy is being clear and focused, I enjoy not escaping into an altered reality, and much like Chris, my curiosity has led me to his channel and many others like this. And it’s ok it took me 41 years to get here. Im grateful to all the men and women like Chris who are helping others get their lives on track through the power of their own minds. We only need one friend to get us going, and sometimes that friend is just a friendly voice in our heads.

[@akashtriz]

God bless u mate.

[@terrytari1891]

But Brim, Chris things ALL those things are better than masturbating to a play boy Magazine, right?

[@Onward1969]

You should be a writer. You have a talent there.

[@aileenmac1]

At least you are making up for it. A lot of people just skulk off and never see their family again.

[@Gloriaglo0502]

Congratulations❗ 🎉

[@eugenio_costa82]

Online dating (in 2022) grew my confidence 10 folds and removed my limiting beliefs about my chances, my "league", my potential. Then through online dating I met my current partner, whom I'd never met otherwise as I was an expats and my only social circle was my colleagues on drinking weekends. Meeting my partner saved my life and made me a better human being. We've been together over 11 years now and we're more in love than ever.

[@VioletEmerald]

So... do you mean in 2012? Not 2022 lol?

[@heleneb8945]

Before the era of 'throwaway society', where everyone is now replaceable today. 11 years ago people genuinely wanted to meet someone online and build a life...not to be pessimistic but if you dated online today that might have been a different story lol

[@laurened6505]

The only thing I care about when dating men is their level of empathy and self awareness and I really struggle. I took myself off dating apps and try to connect via friends or group events and the struggle is still here. I could not care less about their education or job level. 😢

[@xeropunt5749]

you want a traditional man. with sacred values. fun is abundant. Value, devotion, meaning, depth, reliable bonds are too much for people to abide by. have a cat lol & read or listen to podcasts &…exercise.

[@theCosmicQueen]

@@xeropunt5749 what makes you think you know what she wants? LOL huge LOL

[@jayong1977]

​@@xeropunt5749 you may not be a man who can give her what she wants, but dont label other men the same as you lmao 😂

[@xeropunt5749]

@@theCosmicQueen read.

[@xeropunt5749]

@@jayong1977 the heck you babbling about.

[@renegadeace1735]

"Being scared of being seen as creepy" exactly. It's not fear of rejection. It's a fear that that woman will get pissed by being hit on by a guy she sees unworthy of hitting on her.

[@nicolaspicolas1988]

In other words… rejection 😅

[@chanyzv]

As a mother of four boys thank you so much for shining this light on motherhood! I can’t be more proud and privileged to be a mom ❤

[@monogramadikt5971]

hopefully you wont have to watch them destroy themselves before they reach their 30th birthdays

[@perrycoffey5410]

@@monogramadikt5971 it depends if she's a single mom if she is odds are this will happen

[@Thomes-Maisling]

@@perrycoffey5410 Insensitive dick comment of the week award goes to you 🏆

[@insomnolant6043]

Your children are blessed to have a mother like you.

[@lonewolffullmoon]

Congratulations Protect your children at all costs!!!

[@ellie4683]

This is one of the most valuable conversations I have heard! Thank you for the wisdom! I see around me how young people struggle and you point right at the problems. Married for 30 years myself I can say that the turning point for us was the decision to value each other. That fixed 80% of our troubles. I wish for society to stop devaluing: men devalue women, women devalue men. Such nonsense. Just stop it and make a decision to appreciate each other, maybe even if you feel at this moment that the other doesn’t earn it. And all try to be the best version of yourself. Poisonous people should be avoided of course, but if someone is just a normal guy or girl, we can grow so much in life when we get appreciation from one another and decide to aim up.

[@PsyJaye]

Yes.. well stated.. it needn't be so controversial and mysterious that when people respect and care for each other as long as they want the relationship then they will find a way.. I Love My Wife who is also my best friend and we play music together but we met at Our Creator through a good introductory conversation.. She is quite the woman for this particular man..

[@SOFAkju]

So true. My partner is a very wise man and in the beginning of our relationship he said "let's be good to each other". And so we are, and it informs all our interactions.

[@morgitory]

Wrong, the difference is outlook, your marriage was not yeh factor, it’s was your economic security and circumstances that gave you that security in your relationship, something young people will never experience ever again, especially considering the economic growth during that time which has plateaued. To find a solution it’s best to learn from the person with the problem, not the one without.

[@PsyJaye]

@@morgitory definitely a timely observation but sadly one that never properly provoked me with an extra dollar to distract us away from the elements that helped us cozy in the cool and chill in the heat.. I would say it is a few mutual obsessions such as doing gigs together and a love for everyday of the week that finds us free to continue.. ..

[@acct4600]

women devalue men a lot more than the other way around. when women make a certain income, they say they don't need men. the same is not the case for men. even woman-hating incels admit that they need women. herein lies the problem. lets not act like the issue is the same on both sides, its not. this is an issue with women that needs to be rectified.

[@wilsonhello9224]

As a dude I decided to stop having premarital sex after a disastrous relationship. Met a nice girl at the church and married her three years later. I was spending too much money on short term relationships and this decision very much helped straighten up my life

[@lavinder11]

​@@joedainton2189 You completely missed the point of his comment.

[@dokhtaroneh]

But maybe your wife had many many premarital sex before meeting you. That bother me

[@andrewmeiklem5098]

Why did you need someone to straighten out your life? My God... I've been single for 5 years and love it. Will never get into one again. You can't beat me lol

[@laurenhall8392]

@@andrewmeiklem5098 not sure most people really believe what you are saying

[@freeandrewtate886]

@@andrewmeiklem5098 weird

[@makarov718]

a piece of advice that really stuck with me that applies to a lot of mens problems is "you need to have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference." pure gold right here

[@GreggsonWong]

Wow, Chris succinctly breaking down dating culture.😯❤ 55:40 overview 1:00:58 the problem 1:02:38 results 1:03:28 solution

[@avishjhugroo2473]

He could not have said it anymore clearly 😂😂

[@mattng4707]

Thank you

[@Thermopylae2007]

Very good analysis, but perhaps part of the problem lies in the fact that the cost of living has exacerbated the need to focus upon income and status. If an average, single income could buy a house we'd all be a lot less fixated on winning the rat race, whether in terms of relationships or otherwise.

[@HoneySuckle123]

Thank you!!!!!! I struggle with this interview style!!

[@GreggsonWong]

@@Thermopylae2007 In a nutshell... Modern vs Traditional. In today's world 🌎 women are modern. Truly, women are the ones to pass values & character to their daughters. But, in western society that's rare indeed. 😑

[@JSH2034]

Chris is so underrated, despite having 800k subs on youtube I don’t see that many people talking about his podcast. He really deserves all the attention. Modern Wisdom is one of the best shows thats currently out there. Thanks for having him on.

[@divine7223]

Truly the GOAT podcaster, crazy to see how good he has become

[@Paul2377]

I dunno. I'm struggling to see how much of what he says is just his limited view and how much of it is fact. Like when he says most sex is within relationships. There's no source given, so how do we know it's even right?

[@XavierJAlexander]

He’s an incel whispering alt right adjacent weirdo

[@kratos.8151]

He has a lot of right wing lunatics on that really holds him back sadly. He's really bad at challenging them too so there's a stink when viewed by other outlets.

[@divine7223]

@@kratos.8151 Bad at challenging them? What I like about Chris is, he will see this and adress it with action =) Lets do it Chris, 3 episode, 2 hours each, challenging em alllll

[@colleenpollock2908]

This is one of the most insightful interviews I have ever listened to. I passed the link to my 38 year-old son who will benefit enormously from the wisdom of you 2 young guys. At 69, this has been a revelation to me, too, and will be sharing diamonds with my teenage students. Thankyou - I can't say that enough.

[@Shyted]

I was listening to this in bed this morning and turned it off after 40 minutes, got out of bed and went to the gym. Getting up to go is such a struggle, hopefully I have the same motivation on Thursday too. Finished the video after getting home. What a great interview.

[@raewynurwin4256]

Bravo, its called requiring stimulus, even at 75 it works.

[@therealPT302]

Good luck

[@elevate5136]

Mate that fear of insufficiency and running away from becoming what you don’t want to be like the feeling of being worthless as a child, is exactly me ! I don’t chase my goals I run away from my demons. Running away from a monster is just stressful. Running towards your dreams makes you happy. Most profound piece of information I’ve ever heard on a podcast. Thank you so much for helping me realise this.❤

[@ultr4fly60]

yes, turn around an chase your dreams. But it helps if you understand yourself and your past. When i read your post i thought of: "Massive Attack - Angel" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/npPIZHaHltJ5bs0

[@kriptonis]

you need to a) come to a place where you are happy in solitude b) always compete ONLY with yourself. Are you better today than yesterday? Then today was a success. I know this seems over-simplistic. But small steady improvement makes a huge difference. And being ok with you alone is a great motivation to continue the change. *solitude not loneliness. Solitude means enjoying yourself and your time with you.

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

When you are so much above water that you can figure out what those dreams are.

[@darren7422]

That point in the conversation brought me a different realization. Once I was through my extremely negative childhood/teens/ 20's nothing more fearful than that could bring me down. No cat will ever scare me. Knowing that I can get cheese whenever I want may keep me from really aggressively going after my desire to earn the whole dairy farm so I can produce all the cheese needed to feed the world. And pay for a jet. A jet would be nice.

[@shilohguin255]

@@darren7422 so much wisdom here. Very nice!

[@muntanga9538]

It's amazing how Chris brings up stats like he has them written down. Thank you Steven for just having these awesome conversations

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

These stats about women regretting not having children are nostly ridiculous some mans fantasy

[@KokoFox-n1v]

People who can recall stats easily usualy have a bit of autism in them

[@jakevendrotti1496]

People prepare for these public broadcastings. They're not magic😅 But it's still cool that he has things to say that we didn't know, so yeah

[@patc2515]

​@@jakevendrotti1496 I don't think they were suggesting that it was magic so much as it is impressive when someone prepares for something and have a lot of accurate useful knowledge at the top of mind ready to go. Every now and then you will see an interview where the guest did not prepare and it's painfully obvious although not super common at least not in my experience. Christ did a great job with this.

[@Chris-qn1by]

@@patc2515 yeah because all Chris does are these podcasts, he uses the same stats over and over, whereas other guests mostly have full time positions on top of being interviewed. In a way though, this single male epidemic is good business ;)

[@EvaExplains]

wow probably one of the best I have heard yet, I don't always comment but I listen often. Chris you made me tear up, I relate a lot, I watched you on LI and would have never known you were such a deep, sensitive and loving person, thank you for sharing yourself with us💖

[@Dalester1979]

Anyone that works out KNOWS that what he said is SO TRUE. I make myself work out on days that I truly would rather just sit and watch KZbin., but I make myself do it even though I don't want to, and for one; I feel better after and 2; it IS building a pattern of behavior that eventually became disciplined.

[@Raenelly7]

We definitely don’t have time. I’m early 40’s, single, childless and never intended to be. Dating was hard because I don’t have casual S and most of the guys I came across no matter how I met them wanted that. The rest seemed to want all of the benefits of a relationship without the title and I’m not about that either. There are great men out there and great women but finding each other has became so hard. A lot of us are also childless due to infertility. A recent study just came out that stated 1 in 6 couples suffer infertility. We NEED to also talk about the problem of high rates of infertility as well.

[@wendyface6473]

I've met 2 women.. who secured ty have a kid and not wait for a guy. They picked someone and yes, co parent.. but not going to miss their motherhood. I would guess they have a huge support system.

[@katadam2186]

I think what happened in the sixties was the beginning of women having big trouble with men if all (most) the women were giving it away for free so men started expecting it, civilized dating went out the window. Expectations lowered. Women born in 1940’s met men that were taught to respect women invite them on a real date dinner, movies, dancing maybe a shared hobby… movies, tv, magazines, music all pushed the illusion of freedom from family and toward work, college all a sales pitch

[@jayc342009]

I am in the same boat as you but I'm a guy, modern relationships are started in lust and feel so empty. I am happier single, it's peaceful.

[@jayc342009]

​@@katadam2186the thing is, women nowadays have no respect for men and what they do.

[@jenamurgia1206]

Ever consider adoption? Lots of kids with our parents these days!

[@tamalopo]

Thank you I love, love, love this topic. Chris, you are absolutely right. No one wants to get to know each other, no emotions as if we humans are afraid of one another, a lack the communication, no sincerity, no unity, everything is broken down. I know so many older people are lonely living alone yet afraid to reach out.

[@AAnnamakes]

yes! I feel like younger people have very high expectations and criteria for a partner which might mean being single for longer but in the past many people were in average at best relationships. Online dating was a novelty for a while but it's so soul destroying, dodgy and frequently unsafe for women. I don't know anyone who likes it.

[@topriser]

You nailed it. Since my divorce, I have thought this about modern women. It is only NOW, that has social media shined a light on the delusion, entitlement, narcissism, and basic disrespect that SO many have for men. It is encouraging and refreshing to see the my brothers are putting on the breaks and rejecting this toxic bs. Thank you! You said what we’ve been thinking out loud!

[@ambition112]

0:00: 😔 Chris Williamson, an entrepreneur, and podcaster, discusses his personal journey from being chronically unpopular and bullied to finding success in the nightlife events business, only to realize that something was still missing. 11:03: 💪 The speaker discusses the dark driving force of fear of insufficiency and the toxic fuel it provides, as well as the importance of reprogramming it and finding intrinsic alignment. 21:22: 🎯 Taking action is key to building confidence and overcoming feelings of insufficiency. 32:52: 💪 Discipline is more valuable than motivation in achieving goals and forming habits. 42:58: 👥 Loneliness is a growing epidemic, with social media and a lack of social skills contributing to the problem. 54:26: 📚 The challenges in the mating market are caused by the increase in female achievement in education and employment, leading to an imbalance in the dating pool. 1:06:28: 👥 There is an epidemic of loneliness and sexlessness among both men and women, with challenges in dating and relationships. 1:18:52: 💬 The conversation discusses the need for balance in addressing inappropriate behavior and how men can be better at approaching women without making them feel uncomfortable. 1:30:37: 🤔 Regrets are inevitable, so choose the regret you can live with. 1:42:21: 🔑 Regret and sacrifice are essential for success, as they represent the choices and opportunities we didn't pursue. 1:52:58: ❤ Chris reflects on his journey, opens up about his challenges, and emphasizes the importance of taking action and embracing vulnerability 2:04:48: 🌱 The speaker discusses the importance of superfoods and announces a new product called Daily Greens by Huel. Recap by Tammy AI

[@anjikyuzan]

thank you

[@manmeet390]

Thank you!

[@sorartificial]

Don't you love eightify>?

[@wezzyb8]

Timestamping the commercials lmao

[@MethodiousMind]

Thanks, but when does he start talking about masturbating?

[@alanikeiser]

This really hit me hard. I'm 42, single and can't have kids (it truly is painful, deep rooted pain that I am unable to have children). Dating apps have showed me more rejection than actual great meet ups. Going out and meeting people is SO difficult. Yet, I still feel hopeful and want to date. I don't know what the solution is, but I'll keep being open to meeting someone who aligns with me.

[@hammerandthewrench7924]

keep wacking it brother; it's not that serious

[@Humanprototype-wh8qr]

we all struggle, no matter the circumstances

[@drewthompson7457]

I'm 70, and got enough rejection well before dating apps came out. I haven't even looked for a date in 25 years or so. I have no worries about rejection, and don't need to put a woman in a spot were she has to reject me.

[@silkbuttons]

@@hammerandthewrench7924dumbest stupidest comment ever, demonstrative of society’s new bunch

[@Humanprototype-wh8qr]

@@GeorginaJett life is struggle little single cell brain

[@ShroomsUnited]

That's a special podcast and I'm so grateful to be here. I love how much space the guest has and how correct Steve's questions are and how he navigates through discussion. Staying here for longer.

[@StefaniaCzech]

One of the most powerful tools I have learned is to pull myself out of myself in times of severe self doubt, stress, and treat myself as I would my friend, a child, or even a stranger. Now I take myself by the hand when I make desicions, we do things together that are in alignment. Its been amazingly freeing to learn this type of self love and self acceptance and a new self gentleness. But I had to be willing to treat myself as my best friend until i knew with everything in me, I was the BEST person for myself! I have alyways been looking for, ME!

[@bb001a]

Yes talk to yourself and look after yourself as your best friend would.

[@nisabodak4929]

This episode opened my eyes on why I feel like an imposter, even when I'm successful. I have been constantly breaking promises to myself and that's why I never trusted myself or my abilities. Thank you so much.

[@MisterNMason]

Amen

[@JaydonRose]

I think this was indeed very insightful, but for you to carefully consider what was said and recognize that within yourself, that too shows a willingness to learn, admit you had areas to work on, and be open to change! Keep on growing! 😊🙏 And may we all learn to trust in Jesus more than we trust in ourselves! He said if we put our trust in him, he will grant us riches unknown!

[@Fresh-sh2gc]

Wtf does that even mean? Airhead.

[@joelobeck6214]

I really believe the major human crisis is just this plain and simple feeling that many people don’t feel loved. They also don’t know where to find it. That experience of knowing love literally cures all ailments.

[@vvv-kj3le]

🩷

[@drewthompson7457]

I have looked for a definition of love, as I don't know what it means. It seems "love" effects the same areas of the brain that addictive drugs do. Addictive drugs are easier to find...

[@hummingbird4934]

It’s learning how to love others first because true love is unconditional. Once you understand this people will love you back and then it’s learning how to receive it. How is it people don’t know this fundamental part of being human? Maybe it’s because we’ve lost our sense of community where people would automatically look out for one another without any expectations. Generations before understood that love can be experienced in many different forms not just romantic love so there was less expectations on a potential partner. That’s where we’re going wrong, everyone expects their partner to be their world and it’s just too much pressure. It’s not about being perfect. It’s just about showing up for each other in the best way we can

[@richardmarknagy9225]

On the topic of choosing your regrets: I'm 29, moved to a new country, new people, new job. The reason I did is because I know that in 10 years time I'll look back and think: I have no regrets, because I have seized the opportunity when it was given to me. Regret is way worse than failure.

[@WhiteWolfeHU]

Hol laktál elöb és hová költöztél?

[@timspiker]

Depends on the depth of the failure. My failures made me regret leaving my country and starting in a new one. All that happened was I lost everything due to Covid, now I know what it's like to lose everything... I still gained something, knowledge for one and more emotions. I don't know, regret seems the same. I've dealt with both during my lifetime. Failure feels like despair and regret feels like despair also. They're 2 sides of the same coin. It worked for you because you didn't lose everything. Remember the shoes you wear, for another does not wear the same pair of shoes.

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

You didn’t lose everything, you traded all you had for a new knowledge for this knowledge you left with you will be able to leverage to gain it all back and more so. ❤

[@timspiker]

@@aTribeCalledCasey I don't know. I was about to become a DJ playing music for people at big parties, all of that changed since Covid. The industry is not the same as it was, the people who lobbied me lost their money and chose for people who worked cheaper even though I deliver higher quality, it was a harsh meeting with reality and its offended the inner artist in me who refuses to work quick, I take time and care to create things. On top of that we have AI lurking around the corner and it's replacing artists at an alarming rate. Art is always the first industry to suffer technological advancements. Think of painters when computers came around and digital artists became able to make posters and pictures better and faster. It's only a matter of time before AI can do this with music. Most people think about better outcomes, but realistically speaking, taking everything from the past 3 years into consideration I truly start to doubt this planet is on the up, just the way we use our technologies, it's all on the side of big business and profit. It's shameful to say the least, it's a world I don't support. I ask God for a miracle.

[@annmarieknapp2480]

What a great comment!!! Good for you. I do have regrets and I am working hard to let the past go. I made mistake of getting married and other choices related to that. It profoundly altered my life and put me in a prison of sorts. Divorce couldn't undo the massive damage from that poor decision. I am now trying to get some kind of a satisfying life with time I have left. Absolutely,think it's great that you are making plans and doing what you want. That's awesome.

[@nancycastelvecchi5261]

BRILLIANT GUEST AND PROPER INTERVIEWER. You both are so hopeful if people can see it they can be it.

[@40pianos]

Regret is a form of longing; I long for an outcome that might have been had I behaved differently. Now, a senior, I realize that those things that I once regretted were the most important events in my life, the events that led to insights, enlightenment and, eventually, wisdom. And born of what limited wisdom I've acquired, I no longer regret anything.

[@yourlogicalnightmare1014]

The only goal that matters in life is learning the nature of awareness, consciousness, reality, and god and how to dissolve the self, a cognitive prison that leaves its victims trapped in the illusion of separation from god. Therapy is a complete waste of time as the goal is reinforcement and clarification of self. Unfortunately, most people will be forced to live hundreds or thousands of times before they get it

[@CathainSeo]

Loneliness is a sadness a mourning, an internal crying of feeling unloved. But that loneliness is usually around judgement of self & failing the expectations. It's about dwelling in who we think we should be instead of who we really are in joy & empathy & kindness towards who we are becoming but more us than we are today.

[@Riri-ho7pm]

The message about impostor syndrome and how to built trust and confidence within oneself is so helpful not only for men but also everyone. When our actions do not match our words, we are not only breaking promises we made to other people but to ourselves as well and constantly disappointing yourself leads to feeling of incompetence/insufficiency and low self-worth.

[@XHALE303]

For many that what you describe is a selffulfilling prophecy these days as an excuse to stay in their victimhood, so they don't have to change & to continue to lie to themselves. Succes & confidence is a mindset & so is faillure & low selfworth. Ofcourse there are exeptions to the rule, but for most in the west these are luxury 1st world problems.

[@jameskucz5922]

This is probably one of the most articulately and factually strong perspectives that the modern man is facing in the west. The fraught of this has remained mostly unspoken and you have done so much in contributing with this segment. Thankyou both

[@kevinswett1964]

Especially given his age, Chris Williamson carries an extraordinary amount of wisdom. This episode was powerful.

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

“Wisdom comes with practice, not age. Some people just take a while to get started” -jesús christo

[@Mercy1-]

He's Awesome

[@arfareenashahid2200]

Woahhhh blown away completely with Dating Apps chapter! Being a girl at 28 who dedicated all my years till now to education and career i couldn't relate more and I never realized how much massive scale that problem was. Chris literally changed my perspective of looking at things!

[@carsi7282]

Don't be afraid to talk to your friends and collogues about finding a partner. Let them know what you are looking for. Network. You'd be surprised how many people will help. Don't be discouraged.

[@KRB696]

I am glad to know that my lady your perspective has opened to new possibilities. If it does not feel creepy to you, I would love to connect. Cheers😁

[@bigbad123321]

​@@KRB696I would bet £1,000,000 that sounded creepy to her.

[@lukesutton4135]

@bigbad God forbid someone puts their neck out, especially if they're socially awkward. I too didn't watch the video 👍

[@BoleDaPole]

I would bet $100000 that she's not even a real person but a bot.

[@Lindy.Effect]

I love how well this talk describes the illness of our society that is the role-playing / false self of narcissism. It’s at our core because we’ve been programmed so thoroughly to be people pleasers

[@silviad3049]

Can you explain that? I think I don’t get it right? So we have so many narcissistic people because the other half is trained to be people pleasers?

[@Lindy.Effect]

You should check out Sam Vatkin. He’s the expert on narcissism. It’s a complex discussion but yes, our society trains us all to have narcissistic traits, and even being a people-pleaser is an inverse form of narcissistic behavior. It’s a hard role to get out of.

[@gregorygimigliano]

I had to re program my entire mind after high school because I was obsessed with everyone else other than myself. I treated myself like crap and would obsess over why i couldntt please other people and be "cool". Thank god thats all behind me.

[@spitgiezer]

Chris williamson is such a inspirational role model. What a genuinely deep thinking and motivational speaker.

[@MegaSnippezz]

When I first met my girlfriend, I felt as if I had loved her but at the same time, I couldn't feel anything. It was a horrible dilemma. It lasted several months and I didn't say much to people as I know they'd respond stating that "she isn't the one" if that feeling of doubt was there, but something deep inside me knew it was more than that. And so, I stuck with that feeling. When that strong feeling of love for her was there, it was strong I could have cried and when I looked at her and imagined that I ever doubted her, I could have cried too. The love she gave me I realised was too overwhelming, my psyche wasn't used to it for in the past, that love was invisible from everyone else. It is the danger of getting used to the feeling of rejection and isolation. Even though you yourself know both of those are negative feelings, your psyche gets used to it, gets comfortable with it. If you go too far entertaining those feelings like I did, love feels alien, unusual. It feels like nothing even though you know it's there, deep inside of you, only for some reason you can't get it out. It's at that moment you have to remind yourself that those feelings of estrangement in love - that's your body in shock of something it thought it would never get.

[@ranirathi3379]

i get every word of what you say. i loved someone the same way she loves you (if she did then, there's a huge chance she still does, coz that kind of love isn't what goes away). and it felt so alien to her, so the possibility of having it brought up first the possibility of being accustomed to it, only to have it taken away again and that hurt wud be more than she cud recover from. so she kept herself walled. and everytime we met, something in me got her heart responding, becoming warm, and it scared her so much. it's not her failing, and it wasn't your failing either. it was where she was then, and it was where you were then in life. can't fault you for it. just that love like that doesnt go away. there's no BECAUSE, no REASON why i love her, so i can now stop. it just is. like the sun is.

[@Emapten]

it may be a danger getting used to isolation, idk if getting used to rejection is a bad thing. as mentioned in this video, 84%women want to be approached. accepting rejection with preserverance is better than being motionless. that's s kind-of a of internal isolation. Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid of being comfortable. there is no growth in comfort

[@erinjenkins4738]

Wow I understand this completely!

[@blazemusing5491]

Thanks for sharing and really well put. The reaction could be considered a subconcious learnt coping mechanism of shutting down to protect oneself where you previously needed and sought connection but was unseen/unheard/rejected. Wishing you continued success.

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

That's close to how I would feel I would be loved by a gf. That's one of the thousand reasons why I don't date anymore. Even if I would stuble across the right one just by pure chance, I wouldn't be able to appreciate her at all. I would be skeptical and doubtful of her to the point that I would lash out at her and call her crazy for loving such a narcissistic asshole like me. I even fear love, because it was one sided in the past and it destroyed me, so I forsake it altogether. But in the back of my mind I know I want someone to love me for who I am. It's a paradoxical mindset where you deep down want love, but would condemn anyone who does so. Considering this, I'm better off alone so I don't hurt someone who just tried to love me....

[@ourhealingvoice]

Chris is one of my favourite people...As a childless not by choice woman working with Childless not by choice women....he's one of the few with a big platform to really speak out for us.

[@Bjorn_R]

Im a 30 year old guy doing my masters. Chris changed the way I see my fellow single female students in the same age range. I stress about finding the right person, butI cant imagine the stress of finding the right person with the added pressure of getting too old to get children. I really feel for you

[@SSD92_x]

@@Bjorn_R it’s a choice

[@ourhealingvoice]

@@SSD92_x I was infertile...it was a painful choice to stop the hope

[@alithea8657]

Speak for yourself.

[@SSD92_x]

@@ourhealingvoice don’t get sassy, you can either justify it to a stranger or look at what you can do.

[@leahsiegel9068]

Chris is one of the most thought provoking Podcasters and a sweet guy, too. Looking forward to hearing more from him.

[@aceman0000099]

I think motivational speaker, journalist, or intellectual is a better title for him

[@ShaktiKaliKaloczi]

BEST EVER interview. I need this level of honesty and depth in my life. Ive SO SO Much to say!!

[@sandralopez951]

Thank you for this video. As a clinical psychologist I found this video to be extremely useful. More conversations like this need to happen to help both men and women.

[@Gromkiii]

Can you imagine, mayority of man have problem of extreme loniles because of their financial status is to low to be seen by women. And if he try to find professional help, he can only get from women because they're no more men psychologists anymore. And woman advice to this men is usually final nail in coffin.

[@iAmNothingness]

Thank you for saying both men and women. Like society acts this is purely a "men are evil" thing.

[@TheThetruthmaster1]

Toxic femininity is loving what Men do not who the man is.

[@RedPhoenixMusic]

35:01 what I find helps me past the behavior of going to the gym when I don’t feel like working out is, watching a video of other ppl killing it in the gym and it puts me back into go mode! Like a visual programming.

[@petrapervan1989]

Both of you are life saviour! Two men that changed my perspective and keep changing it day by day. Our past is determining our life. If you keep on reflecting on yourself in the past, repeating your mistakes, you are living it. If you are changing your past perspective you are living it again but in the different way. Judge yourself less and celebrate your victories more no metter how small they seem. ❤❤

[@valentinomanontroppo4675]

one of the best conversations I've ever heard. Thank you for bringing Chris's wisdom to us

[@billions6362]

"Act first" Thank you so much sir. You have changed my life forever

[@ethosterros9430]

act first think later or what?

[@user-mr6ep2tg6i]

@@ethosterros9430think of the character become the character

[@Levinmusic.]

@@ethosterros9430 he explains it 1:59:12

[@mandismith89]

what is destroying dating and relationships is people having unrealistic expectations thinking they deserve more and better by being influenced by unrealistic social media. Its almost made it incredibly easy to cheat making trust now a forgotten art

[@jpjapers]

Absolutely this.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

But women must absolutely have standards of behaviour in men. Many women do deserve better than abusive men.

[@elatednation9940]

@@bluebellbeatnik4945 many men deserve better than high horse snobby women

[@donmagik6250]

​​@@bluebellbeatnik4945 and likewise men should always have standards of behaviour in women. Men deserve better than abusive women too. I know you view point is very much centered around just women but you should try showing empathy and perspective from the male side. Actually try listening to men and maybe you will understand better rathrr than projecting all this vitriol in all your comments

[@scottsaul]

Ben you have nailed it mate . It's so obvious as well thanks.

[@RalphNardell]

“Hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been.” This is a powerful truth. We must examine the ideals we believe in.

[@MartinezCodes]

Actually hell is a place where your soul will go if you’re not in Jesus Christ when you die…repent and believe in the Gospel of Christ. He died for you so that you may be saved if you choose Him. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

[@mynameiszefanja8849]

Thank you for this episode. I love how nuanced it is while still pointing out what's going wrong in our society. Sometimes is feels like this nuance is gone, simply because the loudest voices are those who don't intent on being part of the solution, but only care about dividing us more.

[@theflaca]

How about you're all living in global solitary confinement, and are globally distracted.

[@jakeq3530]

Who are these loudest voices, in your view?

[@metallboy25]

There is no solution. Women have collectively betrayed men. Betrayal can never be forgiven.

[@grinnifer]

​​@@metallboy25that is so not true and seems to be a very immature and extreme opinion

[@NinaHQuinn]

​​@@metallboy25Don't be such a self-pitying incel.

[@Milooo97]

One of the best episodes ever! I'm much into self-improvement, habits and discipline and this felt some missing puzzles and something clicked on the deep level.

[@markmorris5632]

It must be the first time I've taken a day off work, due to a podcast.. This has really been thought provoking getting me thinking about myself and the world around me... I'm truly grateful the day I came across this podcast 🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤

[@tylergates4075]

Yeah me too. I called in and said I can't make it so I can listen to this podcast.

[@OnlyTruthLove]

If you didn't have any psychological issues, you wouldn't think you needed "success". Being perfectly happy in any situation and realizing that relationships with people is what is most important, is true happiness.

[@hannajulianerix7937]

wow, i cannot remember when it was the last time i have listened to a man with such intellectual properties and such charming, sharp, courageous and sexy way of putting his inner wisdom into the world. i loved listening and thank you @ chris williamson for your inspiring and interesting monologue...love it!

[@Plan-C]

Gave up dating years ago. Couldn't be happier and I get to keep my house lol.

[@prometheusrex1]

🤯

[@timmieliew2450]

I rarely comment on a podcast, but Chris Williamson's analysis and articulated so well on the current dating scene is spot on and just golden, love this session !

[@AJA-ie5uu]

Wow, I didn’t expect to like this episode but how refreshing. As a woman lucky enough to be mother/wife/daughter/friend of some excellent men I despair of what the modern world of relationships has become.

[@jamestacardi8767]

Whilst I am already versed in a few of the concepts discussed here I have never heard them elucidated so clearly. The idea at the start of the podcast concerning being afraid of failure vs wanting to succeed resonated so much with me. Thanks for this discourse.

[@dazzykin]

Good talk. Thank you Chris, for being the rare voice not speaking to detriment of women and not bashing them. What glaringly stood out to me from the talk (and lately in general) is that men need to level up emotionally to the level of women, as vague as that statement is. I don’t know yet to articulate it better

[@sarah2853]

I think it's really true what he said to have more sympathy.. I'm 34 female, kind of a high achiever, run my own business, got degrees and stuff, yet I deal with such loneliness because when I'm online dating, I judge guys on the most objective things.. whereas if i met them in person, I actually don't care if they're earn less if they've got some very attractive traits (i.e. patience, kindness, humour - all these important and super attractive virtues).. and also if they embrace that I'm a bit ambitious, but that's only one side of me - I'm also incredibly sensitive and nurturing, and that's hard to know from online. The problem with in person dating is, sometimes you join a community and it takes a lot of time to sort out whether someone is single or taken, and even if they're single, you need to sort out their intentions. Tbh i have no solutions, but from what i got from this episode is, women should also be more sympathetic to guys, so next time i think i will just smile and say hi and not wait for them to make the first move, and i will be friendly even to guys who dont seem attractive because there could be hidden gems in people. bring back offline dating !!

[@maemae1752]

It’s been lovely to watch Chris over so many years, wondering why he wasn’t at the top of the charts and then seeing him now where he deserves to be KUDOS.

[@daleballenger9745]

Loved the content, just wanted to add my take on the men and women getting married and having families. Divorce being the flavor for the last several decades in marriages in my opinion has had a huge effect on the children in those families. I have been married twice and divorced twice, out of my 4 children all of which are adults none are married!

[@WETALKINMEDIA]

Sad, thanks for the insight need more of this

[@alexkellogg3597]

Good point And in any of these discussions there are many factors I had 2 years of mental issues followed by 2 years in prison I can def still meet a women but I don’t try hard at all cuz I don’t care to try to explain to someone how I’m legit lol

[@kylejamesdalzell2839]

American/Canadian/British men feel like they are playing Russian Roulette when they get married, due to meat grinder divorce courts, should their marriage be part of the fifty percent or more which fail! And a woman can ask for a divorce for any or no reason, with college educated women being the one filing 90% of the time. The risk of having one's children taken away, financial destruction, and psychological torment are simply too high, and men have caught on to the marriage scam and are backing away from it.

[@petpeevestraining]

What a powerful duo you two men are. Way to lead the way! Is it just me or does Steve seem to bring out the best in Chris? I loved every moment of this beautiful and deeply human conversation. Thanks to you both for doing this.

[@TheZGALa]

I felt and still feel so worthless as a mother in the eyes of society. Completely devalued as a human being. I was born out of wedlock, and did not plan the pregnancy I carried to term. I had several terminations due to lack of partnership. I cry about it regularly. The moment I became a mother my identity was reduced to nothing but that. It was and still is heart wrenching.

[@km0262]

Do you not think it’s because society now looks down on motherhood? No one really goes it’s heart wenching that my identity is only that of CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

[@queenchiomaofficial]

I’ll say this to you…it’s your perception and self worth that you need to focus on and work on! As we have the celebrity Kate Hudson that’s the mother of three kids with 3 different men and no one even knows as she carries herself as if she’s a super star. You have to love yourself, forgive yourself and throw away society’s view of you…write out 20 healthy affirmations that will make you feel loved, valued and worthy and say them twice a day until you actually believe these words (but don’t stop even when you do believe so that you don’t start to doubt yourself again) and your life will begin to change and you’ll start feeling respected, honoured, worthy and attract good people, opportunities, a great man etc. Also pray and read your Bible (if you believe in God) as the bible is full of encouragement esp the psalms. ❤️🌸💕

[@TheZGALa]

@@queenchiomaofficial Yeah--this kind of bs, exactly. Case in point. I feel fine with myself. I love myself, and my son, and love being a mother. Society is a judgemental fuck. Kindly shove your unsoliceted advice and bible pushing bullshit somewhere useful.

[@ruthdevisser2526]

Please see a therapist,I’m serious.

[@Mel130673]

When you hit middle age you feel even worse. You become invisible. Never forget giving birth to a child and nurturing that child is important and a very difficult job. Motherhood….parenthood should be celebrated. Ignore society, it’s a complete mess anyway and focus on you and how amazing you are as a mother.

[@nathaeladalyah9681]

I discovered both you and Chris in the last month, and now I've been binge watching your shows. It is delightful to see the two of you together

[@vagrantknights]

Same here, if you want another good one, Tom Bilyeu is a great interviewer inviting much of the same types of people as Chris and TDOACEO. It's great to see people shedding light with facts, studies, and science rather than weird social agendas and biases. Incredibly refreshing and insightful!

[@COLORADO_DAD]

Learning to be alone has been very helpful because it was difficult. It allowed me to find the dark places as well as how to overcome. I like the quote from Tony Robbins “find your flavor of suffering” and accept it

[@SephirothWaifu]

Not anything I'm not accustomed to since a kid as to being very introverted and not a people person, more like an animal person. People are too complex, unpredictable, dangerous and then some. I love the statistics where people who are animal lovers and have them live longer vs. those who are not. Connection between two entirely beings is spiritual just as much as it can be with our own-which seems soooo rare sadly. I believe in spiritual connection-pagan perspective. My love is universal rather than concrete.

[@Melody-st4df]

Fascinating ! Chris, I definitely never had a natural maternal instinct to have children. I feared most being dependent on a controlling partner and just as you said "I ran straight into the arms of a cooperate industry" !! I Love other people's children and luckily for me most children trust and like me. But I don't feel sad because I really can't imagine how I could have been as independent as I am and having the privilege of being able to call out bad behaviour etc if I had not followed the income path that I followed. The concept of having to be dependent on a partner is frightening to me and always has been.

[@kiqueenbees]

Lady, wrong, couples cooperate together and make their lives meaningful in their common achievements. When your services are no longer wanted, no one will need you.

[@membersonly4977]

No Lady, your right!

[@lydialee2023]

So great to see you two being in the same room, sitting down and having a proper long form, thought provoking conversation, what a treat, thank you. X

[@elizabethjacobs9658]

I really enjoyed this edition of this podcast. I have thought very highly of Chris Williamson since discovering him three years ago. He asks excellent questions, is always curious to learn and this comes across in his podcast Modern Wisdom. His approach is always calm, he allows his guests time and space to answer questions, and it is really fantastic to see how far life has taken him in three years. All the hard work and personal sacrifices that he has made have served him well

[@Brat-knee]

Phenomenal podcast / interview. I've never heard anybody speak the way that Chris does it's as if he has a window into my own mind. That's freaking awesome when you hear another person speak the voice you hear inside your head.

[@vitali-opal-and-gem]

Do everything because of love. If your intention ties in with love, you are on the right track. Always check your intentions ❤

[@hokedo]

True

[@ZurlHammerdoom]

Not someone I would think I had any relatability to and yet so much of what he said spoke directly to me and my life. Excellent conversation and content. I have only watched two episodes so far and have been thoroughly impressed. Keep up the great work!

[@Samuelburgessofficial]

This was so incredibly insightful. Chris really sees the whole dynamic on what’s going on and puts it in such a logical way. Brilliant podcast!

[@TheBigChallengeOfLife]

Chris is an amazing communicator, very composed and well spoken. Modern Wisdom, his podcast, is amazing.

[@norwegianzound]

The title is clickbait. He didn't say this.

[@cantbendknee]

Will the corn fucking grow though?

[@lukepaterson9893]

He’s recycling books that the majority of people are too lazy to read

[@xXJLNINJAXx]

​@@norwegianzound didn't say what? He wasn't quoted here.

[@xXJLNINJAXx]

​@@lukepaterson9893 isn't everyone?

[@dylanr1316]

Wow. That was THE most powerful ending statement I have ever heard in my 34 years of life. I have never wanted to smash a like button on a video as hard as I am now.

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Wow! This is amazing to hear! 🙏

[@CarolCurotto]

What statement are you referring to

[@mattpassos5689]

​@@CarolCurottothe ending one i presume

[@pokawolf24]

Thank you for this episode. This was one of the best discussions I've seen on any podcast. The pace, the topics, the depth and variety. All brilliant and logical. Thanks again

[@fangirldigital]

I agree 100%!

[@NinaEnglishCZ]

As a woman I have never felt more seen in my life. Thank you for this brilliant convo!!!

[@FromTheWombTotheGrave]

As man I hope 1 day we take those rights back

[@DeGarisJ]

"You are delusional about your competence" - Wow... that really rung true with me. Definitely need to expand on that more in my next counselling session. Personal development... understanding yourself more... it really is a hard mountain to climb; learning which route you took, sometimes going back a few steps, finding the route you should be on, and figuring out how to get there 🤯

[@фло́рис-г9в]

Cleaned my entire room after watching this vid. Wanted to do it for a while. I didn't do it cause i thought i was busy... I have lots of things with work, so i didn't want to do small things like clean my room cause i thought i would waste my time. But everyone who says they don't have time just dont want to.