Chris Williamson: The Shocking New Research On Why Men And Women Are No Longer Compatible! | E237

Chris Williamson has become one of the most followed podcasters, intellectual thinkers and researches in Europe. From a bullied and unpopular schoolboy to famous party boy appearing on some of the biggest reality shows, Chris Williamson was living the life most men in their twenties dream about, but he was deeply unsatisfied.
Topics:
0:00 Intro
01:59 Your current mission
05:43 The building blocks of your life
10:39 What's driving you?
23:16 How to build confidence
32:26 How do we prepare for a loss in motivation
35:46 What tools have you used to change?
43:02 Being alone vs being lonely
51:10 Dating apps
01:21:17 How can men be better?
01:32:42 Masturbation
01:38:30 Dealing with regrets
01:51:31 What's the work you still have to do?
01:57:59 Forecasting your regrets
02:03:12 The last guest's question
Chris:
KZbin: @ChrisWillx
Instagram: bit.ly/41c1dr5
Twitter: bit.ly/3UjUc5i
Chris’ David Goggins episode: bit.ly/3ZTM24E
Books mentioned:
The Status Game: On Human Life and How to Play It - Will storr: bit.ly/3zJT5SV
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[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

This is one of the most diverse and thought-provoking episodes we've ever recorded. If you like this type of episode could you do us a favour and hit the like button, it helps determine what type of conversations we have on this channel, thank you! 🙏

[@Ghe608]

Omg man!!! Was just going to sleep!! NOW I MUST SATAY AWAKE AND WATCH!! Ok might as well use this time wisely … 300 sit-ups floor exercises and sauna ALL WHILE LEARNING!! Omg !! Your shows are sooooooo yummy!! Interestingly enough I don’t necessarily love every guest that you have on …BUT I love your interview questions! … ok .. LETS GO!!!!💪🏽❤️❤️❤️👍🏾

[@tinxonfski]

I was so looking forward to see you both on an episode at some point! Jumping on this right now!

[@Xisk77]

‘They don’t want me but they need me, so that’s close enough’ hit harder than my dad xD

[@amandareid931]

I do understand issues of maturity for boys, however, their social skills would then really suffer. Chris does state that girls are more able to have a social circle than boys but starting them a year later would be catastrophic to the very skills they need to forge ahead.

[@longnghiemle614]

Can you interview men like Jeremie Lotemo instead 😂

[@midasthestallion4105]

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” - Jim Carrey

[@Sheed96]

woooww Jim Carrey thank you

[@inquisitor4635]

Not the most sane individual. And is on the Epstein flight list.

[@Mightydoggo]

That´s true. But unlike living in a overcrowded city, it also won´t end you 20 years early.

[@MissSpookyMooky]

100% percent agree with it being addictive, peaceful and calming. And the people seeming more draining after a while of peace. But I just don't see it as dangerous.

[@wrxsti22brockz]

Yea, it is super great and loving it.

[@dnbjedi]

"The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone who makes you feel alone…"

[@meganrutter1989]

Narcissists will do that.

[@gballmaier]

Especially with my wife and kids!!!

[@paulfortone3049]

Robin Williams said this before he .......

[@enriquecastillo7487]

So if I made you feel alone then you can simply choose to ignore me or etc... But if you were locked away alone in a jail or stuck on island , that is probably way worse. To actually be alone.

[@guillermoguevara6375]

Then leave

[@andrecoetzee7836]

"Discipline is the thing you need. What would you tomorrow, want you today to do?" Such a simple but powerful statement.

[@nonyobisniss7928]

As someone with ADHD it isn't much help, unfortunately. I lack the ability or focus to even think about the future beyond a feeling of dread. I can totally understand how that question should help though. Actually I got in the habit of asking myself out loud "What am I trying to achieve?" almost every day, but beyond a little bit of daydreaming my mind forgets and moves on to other random thoughts. I just can't plan.

[@andrecoetzee7836]

@@nonyobisniss7928 I have suspected that I may have ADHD for a very long time because I experience similar struggles to those you describe daily, particularly with an immense difficulty with focus and daydreaming. Even when I go by the DSV 5 diagnostic criteria and symptoms of ADHD I find I meet pretty much all of them. That being said, what I find has helped me a lot particularly during my master's that I just finished, was using some kind of journal/diary/daily planner/organizer. Try maybe write down your goals and objectives for each day and timelines by when you want things done (or timeframes/limits in which you want them done). This I found helped me immensely with getting things done and helping me to remember about tasks I need to do and thoughts or ideas I had. Another thing I found more effective was to rather focus on short intensive bouts of hard work with frequent breaks, rather than long bouts of work where my mind will inevitably wander.

[@dashabateman4409]

You know your weaknesses. Just find a solution instead of an excuse

[@nonyobisniss7928]

@@dashabateman4409 The solution is drugs, but acquiring them involves doing lots of stuff people with ADHD can't really do on their own.

[@shawnstephens6795]

@@nonyobisniss7928 ...write it all down...make a schedule...stick to it...turn your daily, weekly and monthly goals into routine to the point you don't have to think about it anymore. +

[@mercedesgc]

I find that the concept of ‘choosing your regrets’ is absolutely spot on. The idea of being able of ‘having it all’ is just a fantasy. As a woman I have both, a friend that wonders how far she could have gotten professionally if she hadn’t had to slow down to take time to raise her children and another one that accepted a managing position and didn’t have enough time to be around her children. So at the end of the day, they both have regrets. You better choose well with which ones you can live with and feel happy about the positive of what you have accomplished instead of worrying about what it could have been, because regrets are inevitable. That’s life.

[@Blessed-Beautiful]

Well said!

[@user-gs1et6sx4k]

Very wise words, thank you for your advice

[@NANINANI-cs6rn]

Actually you're wrong, balance IS essentiel for life, and regret isn't inevitable

[@zweisteinya]

Y'all don't get it - female souls choosing to be men and vice versa

[@Currymaxxed]

Not everything is a choice. You don't get to choose to feel sad when a loved one dies. You can choose to try and not feel sad but its not up to you. This concept that humans have meaningful agency is the biggest fantasy of our time. The advice should be "when you feel upset about your life choices understand the feeling is transient and life is unpredictable. You are doing your best."

[@dree8300]

People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. That's the main problem. After years of therapy and healing, I can no longer date people who think being empathetic and kind is being weak nor people who don't have an ounce of self-awareness. They just end up spitting all their unresolved drama at your face like you're the problem. Hurt people hurt people. That's just life. Edit : for people ready to jump in the comments, note that I don't put myself above others in this. I take the blame when it belongs to me and I apologize. That's the key here. I draw the line at people who can't take ownership. Sorry if I've triggered some people. That was not my intention at all.

[@Kushgroove234]

Do you think you where a person who hurt people because you where hurt prior to therapy? Is it possible to show compassion to those individuals rather than holding resentment ?

[@dree8300]

@@Kushgroove234 I've probably hurt people prior to therapy. I prolly will hurt people in the future. Sometimes you can't control how you make others feel even if you have the best intentions. I don't hold resentment anymore, but I won't forget. I'm just saying when people won't help themselves, you better let go, cause no one can but them. It's just a big waste of energy from my experience. But there will always be exceptions and humans are really complex. I've had enough trauma in my life as is, I'm not gonna share my life with someone who won't do the work and will keep on hurting me cause they won't recognize it in the first place. Doesn't mean I don't have compassion for them, but I can only love them from afar, wish them the best and be on my way.

[@Venusbabe66]

I totally agree with you! I opted out of dating and relationships many years ago due to the realisation that not only is the dating pool in my age group (40-60) so shallow to be almost non-existent; but that generally speaking... denial, unresolved trauma, major self-awareness issues, and the lack of desire to heal in a healthy way are so rife, it's breathtaking and ultimately, it makes seeking a genuine, good relationship virtually impossible. I'm happy to be surprised by the universe one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

[@sportysbusiness]

@@Venusbabe66 Same here.

[@sunnyadams5842]

In COMPLETE resonance. No resentment. Just different.

[@JessicaL085]

Okay ladies, this HAS to be a huge wake-up call for us!! Men arent all creeps, most of them arent. Ever get a little too drunk at the bar? I have, unfortunately more than once, who came to "help me to their car?" A handsome outgoing man. Who came to my rescue? The little bit overweight shy man once and a very shy kind of awkward guy i now call my husband. I drank regularly at the same bar. Finally after coming to my rescue he approached me before I got too intoxicated and he asked me if I would consider not getting drunk that night and instead going out to eat. I declined, got hammered, he took my keys, and called me an uber. Next weekend he did the same. Approached me before I got too hammered and i declined. The 3rd night (about a month from the last invite) this happened he approached me and asked if I'd like to go to dinner. I don't know if it was his willingness to hear no and stay polite to me, or just the fact that he saw me get way too drunk and still wanted to talk to me LOL That night we went to dinner and he asked me point blank why i drink until I'm blind drunk. I wasn't really sure. Unhappiness i suppose. He told me that he would try his best to make me happy enough to not get drunk 3 nights a week. That was 10 years ago in july, im pretty dang happy! And 10 yrs sober HAHA Im happy with the bald kinda frumpy extremely intellectual and insanely driven man, and i find him more attractive the more time that passes. ♡

[@jamnoise72]

So wonderful! I hope you have many more magical years together :)

[@jamnoise72]

I would try your technique but I don't drink. Do you think this will work if I fake being drunk?? haha ;)

[@teresadiservio761]

Thanks for sharing your story!! And congrats on your sobriety, too!

[@garrettsaunders8654]

😊

[@jasonogburn9280]

Im a single, never married, childless 39 year old man who installs safety architecture at institutions, academies, and businesses. I have to say this has been one of the most enlightening insightful conversations about dating ive ever heard.

[@nicolehustles]

Is this by choice or you haven’t found the one?

[@PrettyPattySushi]

Careful Jason. You have a good paying career. Most women want stability. I would be shocked if this didn't open you up to a horde of women chasing you down. lol. The quality of men I find online don't have respectable jobs, tend to bum off women, and use online dating as a catalog for free saxy time. BTW most women still WANT to be asked out or told they look pretty so you can try that and check to see if they have a boyfriend. I think guys should make the first move. If anything it would be seen as a compliment. ;D

[@Pusfilth]

Better have a kid soon bro

[@JewTube001]

@@PrettyPattySushi Jason is an insanely average guy. If you want one of him then you get one of him. Maybe it just takes women turning 40 to settle for a Jason. Most women play around for long periods of time and don't settle down till their 40s, so before that a boring stable guy has no benefit for them.

[@samij6071]

The fact that you believe "Most" women don't settle down until their 40's shows how little you actually know abt women -based purely on the STATS. It is far more men who choose to settle later in life, and by then many of them are in fact "settling" bc the so called "high value women" who don't already have a failed marriage or LTR + children is vanishingly small. Perhaps you should get your data from the raw # s rather than the manosphere but then again, I'd expect nothing less from someone who chose the name "JewTube:." @@JewTube001

[@saenes6295]

I escaped solitude when i was 20 years old in 2017, i had nothing, and i did nothing. One day, some random guy form the past remembered where i lived and asked if i wanted to join for a run in the park with his running buddies. That was all it took for me to change my life almost automatically. Even tho today i don't talk to any of them. One act of kindness is all it took, loneliness is a serious problem, but all you gotta do is get out there, literally.

[@mandorasbox]

In my 20’s I felt lonely but had quite a few friends around me. Now I’m 58 I enjoy solitude, have less friends and don’t feel lonely. I think loneliness is something you have to break through because as an eternal being in someways you are alway alone. Meditation helps. Other beings can bring different aspects of your personality out but no one can make you happy or bring you peace. It’s something you have to do yourself.

[@toyefalety9013]

Boom! Look within right?

[@mandorasbox]

@@toyefalety9013 yes

[@waylormusic1234]

🙏🏻

[@jernisharichard5032]

Yes, always look within,find what makes you happy,also see what others can do for you too, they can bring out new things that y'all both can enjoy, don't be unequally yoked,find someone with the same Christian values as you,just try don't have sex,see what there is out there you might be surprised,❤

[@mindpowertransformations7742]

You are right, that happiness is an inner state, an internal decision we can make, and that we need to be at ease and content with our relationship with self. Without being able to love ourselves, it's really hard to really love others. It's great that you're happy in your own company, however, deep down, humans naturally have an innate need to be part of a tribe, and to feel connected. It's also important for our health to interact socially. As a therapist, I'm just aware that most, not all people, who claim that they are perfectly happy being alone, aren't truly. It's a coping mechanism. By supressing their true wants/needs/desires, however, subconsciously, they've triggered all kinds of issues. I'm not saying that's you, just be mindful that you are completely honest with your thoughts and feelings.

[@ChrisWillx]

Really enjoyed this one mate, thanks for having me!

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Thanks for coming on mate! Could have spoken to you for hours

[@jovillaver8594]

I love you, both! Thank you for this awesome episode!

[@ericdraven3654]

Chris, you are my role model.

[@MuringoG]

Just brilliant!! My take home - choose your regret!! 👌👌

[@rainbowwarpig3536]

Actions is the true measure of intelligence. My imposter syndrome keeps me in chains

[@joannawert3095]

My experience with men is that a large percentage of them behave badly. One of the few perks of being 66 is not having to deal with that anymore.

[@seizuregirlllll]

👏 yup.

[@2banok340]

As I listened to the last 15 minutes of this episode, I could not get over the feeling how close all the people in the world are. And how many little boys have been sitting lonely in the corner. Thank you, gentlemen for your sincerety.

[@ethosterros9430]

It's gonna stay a lonely corner until more women start to care about the boys.

[@VaronPlateando]

‘proximity’ and ‘connectedness’ are delusions, dependant on perspective. eg seen from sidney, australia, cologne vs berlin make for neighborhood agglomerations. or take hamburg vs munich. or more extreme, when I’m tangoing in embrace with female partners (nicely) enacting complementary role, those xx.s per se are virtually non-existent, and if I couldn’t abstract from them, playing that game for its very own sake were impossible. it does certainly help to know about their evo.psych nature enough to guard one’s heart as not owed to anyone.

[@jordyvanbennekom5317]

Made this my life's motto: "At the end of your life, you'll regret the things you DIDN'T do more than the things you DID do. However, you'll have to choose your regrets. You can do anything you want in life, but you can't do everything you want."

[@meshezza]

Wise words, my friend

[@cityguyusa]

You really can't do anything in life. Your upbringing restricts even your thoughts as to what's an option. When I was growing up I wanted to do everything. I had an incredible curiosity about everything. I still do at 62 years old but I didn't get any support from my parents in fact it was almost the opposite because I wasn't focused and my mother used that against me instead of encouraging my curiosity. It wreaked of jealousy. Long story short my parents divorced when I was in high school against my wishes that they wait till I graduated which was a year or so away. Even though I was told over and over again that they wanted me to go to college they didn't put 5 cents away for that. Just from this you can see how quickly we're limited as to what's available. The internet wasn't even around so the opportunities that people have access to now didn't exist until I was almost 50. And how many people today are comsidering being jet pilots or marine biologists or politicians? Everyone thinks they're going to make it doing podcasts and entertainment is big but will it support the people that don't have name recognition or something unique to sell? I think consolidation is coming and we'll see how many get to continue on regardless of their niche.

[@Kittyxoxo]

i've been living my life for myself because of that, i used to be a people-pleaser and then realised im not happy regardless if i do them any favors or not, so just go out there, explore and try your best to be happy within yourself without relying on others... i found video games helps a lot since i talk to my friends a lot, and my work place is great :)

[@loverofhumanity]

This is wrong. You can not do anything you want to do in life. I understand the positive thinking but I wish people were more pragmatic. Find your strengths. Oftentimes in life its not about doing what you enjoy doing. Its about doing what you're best and most qualified for and then make a career out of it. Make the shit you enjoy a hobby of yours and call it a life. Because if you don't you will often grow old and find no success which imho is the hardest of lives.

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

Luckily in the end it doesn’t matter. No regrets when you’re dead and forgotten.

[@benthacker2475]

I’m a 44 year old man. My last relationship was in 2018. I have never been surveyed about dating but I relate to what Chris says. My issue is a feeling of unworthiness and having nothing to offer. I don’t do drugs or drink, nor do I play video games. I don’t post this for pity or sympathy ( my current mental state is my responsibility) I post this because his statements ring true in my ear and he describes my mindset shockingly well

[@poizen-ivy]

Maybe it's the type of people you pursue.

[@SparkyX3X]

Taking action will do wonders for you mate. You are worthy of love and acceptance. Once you believe it, you will conceive it.

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

@Ben thacker, i feel ya Brother Maybe many feel this way. But the first thing is to stop comparing yourself to others, others are not as Allknowing or perfect either, nor are we. I think the more we realize everyone is flawed and have shortcomings, the sooner we drop the disapöointments even with ourselves or exoectations. In this day and age, i feel just surviving the work day or day is one of the greatest accomplishments lol Everyone's struggling and falling short due to this forced way of barely living, to have no ebergy left fir that which is the most important ; our family & loved ones. So be gentle compassionate, lobing and kind to yourself. I myself am on a self acceptance, self love and healing journey. Ive never been in a relationship, im closing my 40's soon. But no more shame or guilt for who i am. As long as one has got one's heart in the right place and a good head on the shoulders, thats enough. Everything else is a discovery journey, by ourselves or with others. Keep the faith, and keep working or focusing on building yourself up, accept the loneliness and becone your best friend & cheerleader ✊☯️ All the best to us all!!

[@Lioness_UTV]

I love your honesty, it's particularly helpful to read as it will resonate with many men AND women who find themselves in similar positions. What I would say is please consider seeing someone who you can talk this through. A therapist you connext with. Many times especially those who have self awareness turn that in on themselves, and can be really helpful to have a neutral person who cares about your welfare no one else's redirect you back to yourself. Just an idea...not everything has to done on your own.

[@jasonfrye8790]

@UniqueGeekFreak WOW! Beautifully said my friend!

[@suzanablank5809]

In late 1980 the vision of internet being talked about was coupled with concern for humans to become more and more estranged and lonely, and how it can be the end of humans/civilisation and world we knew it then. And now 40ish years later that concern became reality. It was so easy to foresee it. Brilliant interview, host and guest.

[@stephengrant4841]

One of the first things I would do as dictator of the world would be to heavily restrict the internet. Educational content only, no social media or dating apps, no brain rot, no radical political propaganda. You get to find out how the sun works, and that's it.

[@mariak3212]

Could you look up if the earth is flat in your dictatorship? ​@@stephengrant4841

[@NikosM112]

Only men are lonely. Women are not. Attention for them is like going shopping.

[@aries-seventhseal2473]

Nothing works without us. We go through it to GET TO IT. ❤. The world view was fear and greed. Now we are waking up to SEE we do deserve to BElove and BE LOVED. GIVE AND RECEIVE. RE'SEE RE'VIEW. FOR GIVE AND FOR GET (RECEIVE). WE DO LOVE AND BE LOVE'ED. ❤BLESSINGS 🙌 🙏 TO YOU AND ALL.

[@sarahbruce9593]

I really take umbrage with the claim that there is "A huge movement in certain corners of women's advice that any woman that chooses to become a mother is a... second-class citizen". I'm a diehard childfree woman who strongly believes the opposite of this statement, and who participates in online forums celebrating our childfree lives, and I have never seen any sort of derogation of MOTHERS per se. Many of us are rebelling against the EXPECTATION that motherhood is the best path or the idea that choosing to not have children is selfish. Very different. I'd love to see Chris' data on this supposed "huge movement".

[@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish]

So because you don't see it that means it doesn't exist? Try looking. Also, it is. Who will pay your social security checks when you retire? Someone else's children. Less children = less adults in twenty years = less people paying taxes. That's how funding for stuff will end up getting cut and how retirement checks decrease in value. Eventually they'll make it so that you'll only be able to receive retirement benefits from the government if you have children. It's not bad enough for that... right now.

[@kimmccord1103]

The patriarchy sounds to be behind this “huge movement”! Alpha type men like to keep woman thinking that they & only they possess what the woman feigns after!

[@Raenelly7]

We definitely don’t have time. I’m early 40’s, single, childless and never intended to be. Dating was hard because I don’t have casual S and most of the guys I came across no matter how I met them wanted that. The rest seemed to want all of the benefits of a relationship without the title and I’m not about that either. There are great men out there and great women but finding each other has became so hard. A lot of us are also childless due to infertility. A recent study just came out that stated 1 in 6 couples suffer infertility. We NEED to also talk about the problem of high rates of infertility as well.

[@wendyface6473]

I've met 2 women.. who secured ty have a kid and not wait for a guy. They picked someone and yes, co parent.. but not going to miss their motherhood. I would guess they have a huge support system.

[@katadam2186]

I think what happened in the sixties was the beginning of women having big trouble with men if all (most) the women were giving it away for free so men started expecting it, civilized dating went out the window. Expectations lowered. Women born in 1940’s met men that were taught to respect women invite them on a real date dinner, movies, dancing maybe a shared hobby… movies, tv, magazines, music all pushed the illusion of freedom from family and toward work, college all a sales pitch

[@jayc342009]

I am in the same boat as you but I'm a guy, modern relationships are started in lust and feel so empty. I am happier single, it's peaceful.

[@jayc342009]

​@@katadam2186the thing is, women nowadays have no respect for men and what they do.

[@jenamurgia1206]

Ever consider adoption? Lots of kids with our parents these days!

[@laurened6505]

The only thing I care about when dating men is their level of empathy and self awareness and I really struggle. I took myself off dating apps and try to connect via friends or group events and the struggle is still here. I could not care less about their education or job level. 😢

[@xeropunt5749]

you want a traditional man. with sacred values. fun is abundant. Value, devotion, meaning, depth, reliable bonds are too much for people to abide by. have a cat lol & read or listen to podcasts &…exercise.

[@theCosmicQueen]

@@xeropunt5749 what makes you think you know what she wants? LOL huge LOL

[@jayong1977]

​@@xeropunt5749 you may not be a man who can give her what she wants, but dont label other men the same as you lmao 😂

[@xeropunt5749]

@@theCosmicQueen read.

[@xeropunt5749]

@@jayong1977 the heck you babbling about.

[@Pepperkaas6]

Makes me wonder how these guys will change or not when they are fathers to 2 or 3 kids. The past has completely disappeared from my life, the future mostly as well. With 3 small children I seem to be constantly bound to now now now. And time is flying, it is truly unbelievable . Having kids is one of those things you can only truly understand when it happens to you.

[@notnow7973]

My question is why do they look alike, dress alike, sound alike? They both are promoted by KZbin, have huge audiences for navel gazing and now cross promote each other. Neither is married. But now they treat each other like experts. KZbin pushes their shows at me constantly. Curious.

[@wesleyv713]

Couldn’t agree more about the 3 small kids. All mine are under 4. The last 4 or 5 years feels like a blur, the time is absolutely flying by. I waited until I was 33 to have a kid and it’s been so fulfilling I can’t believe I didn’t have them younger. I’ve had more genuinely happy and joyful moments in the last 4 years than the rest of my adult life combined. Less sleep however lol. It makes me sad when I realize, before I know it they’ll be 18, but that’s just how it goes I guess. I just hope it slows down a bit lol.

[@Joshhhh1995]

This interview is, without fail, one of the best you have done to date Steven. Chris is a beacon of light in this backwards world that we have all ended up in. Thank you so much to both of you for proving such great insights. For my fellow listeners, start with gratitude. It's only up once you consistently feel a deep sense of gratitude. I love you all :)

[@carolinespence15]

not every woman wants a family. But yes if that is what you want do it early

[@mamoblack7188]

This podcast struck me differently...... i am usually a lost person. Hide away from the world because i have not been able to stand financially and that made me shutout every person in my life. No social media presence, no interaction, no communication...just a lonely and pathetic me. But that has changed from this day. Thanks Steve. Much appreciation Chris

[@mindstef]

Yes, get out there my man! Nobody is meant to sit alone!

[@gaiabeleza]

Would love it if you could say more about why and how you've decided to make this change! I am very happy for you!

[@JodySugarspringerdoodles]

I am happy to hear this. I believe you will be much happier if you try to include other people in your life. This podcast was very inspiring for me also. I want so badly to find a man that is decent and just normal, but it seems there are few and far between that even want a long-term relationship. Being all educated means very little. Most important is what kind of a person are you? Society puts too much importance on education. I'm glad to hear that along with them stating the problem s they also suggest some solutions.

[@itsbonkerjojo9028]

Wow i mean not real wow but literally the oerson i am right now. I am messed up fcked up completely right now . I feel like i don't have any body . It's so hard .

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

HALT!!! Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Solve that need before doing anything serious or rash❤

[@wilsonhello9224]

As a dude I decided to stop having premarital sex after a disastrous relationship. Met a nice girl at the church and married her three years later. I was spending too much money on short term relationships and this decision very much helped straighten up my life

[@lavinder11]

​@@joedainton2189 You completely missed the point of his comment.

[@dokhtaroneh]

But maybe your wife had many many premarital sex before meeting you. That bother me

[@andrewmeiklem5098]

Why did you need someone to straighten out your life? My God... I've been single for 5 years and love it. Will never get into one again. You can't beat me lol

[@laurenhall8392]

@@andrewmeiklem5098 not sure most people really believe what you are saying

[@freeandrewtate886]

@@andrewmeiklem5098 weird

[@Chemike21]

If you didn't have any psychological issues, you wouldn't think you needed "success". Being perfectly happy in any situation and realizing that relationships with people is what is most important, is true happiness.

[@joaquinhernandezsalazar4553]

What an amazing podcast! This arrived to me in a moment when I am trying to build a routine of strong and healthy habits to try to drive my life rather than just be driven through it. Thank you very much for the valuable insights!

[@gustavoalceudesouzacruz7354]

I understand the health benefits of relationships but I too understand the health damage of the bad ones and nowadays most of them are very bad, sadly. Better to be alone than with a bad company..

[@mistyculous9644]

Ironic how your comment attracted a scammer who has left the same comment for many here...

[@VaronPlateando]

those ‘health benefits’ include factoring into 4 times higher male suicidality, actually. but luckily, even above poster isn’t fooling himself. cheers, gents.

[@Lindy.Effect]

I love how well this talk describes the illness of our society that is the role-playing / false self of narcissism. It’s at our core because we’ve been programmed so thoroughly to be people pleasers

[@silviad3049]

Can you explain that? I think I don’t get it right? So we have so many narcissistic people because the other half is trained to be people pleasers?

[@Lindy.Effect]

You should check out Sam Vatkin. He’s the expert on narcissism. It’s a complex discussion but yes, our society trains us all to have narcissistic traits, and even being a people-pleaser is an inverse form of narcissistic behavior. It’s a hard role to get out of.

[@glitchinthematrix555]

I had to re program my entire mind after high school because I was obsessed with everyone else other than myself. I treated myself like crap and would obsess over why i couldntt please other people and be "cool". Thank god thats all behind me.

[@Plan-C]

Gave up dating years ago. Couldn't be happier and I get to keep my house lol.

[@brimstonebull]

Up until September 9th ,2021, I can honestly say I was a slave to my insecurities and my selfish need to be insufficient in my own eyes. I was a daily user of alcohol. I was a promise breaker, to myself and to others. I carried with me a fear of success only slightly smaller than my fear of failure and I self medicated into a stupor 5/7 days. I am a father, and I tried my addict best to be as good as possible, but the fog of war I trudged in everyday kept any sense of peace or contentment I could have felt at bay. I lived in 24 hour cycles of pain and numbness, with euphoric drunkenness, escapism and despair, self induced and self propelled. I knew I was dying. If not physically, I was spiritually drowning. So one day came after a particularly horrendous family incident, the day I’d been hoping and dreading, preparing for yet never prepared for, the day I decided at last to take control of the only thing I’d never been in control of, and I stopped drinking. Cold turkey as they say. I am just like Chris. Few friends and always a sense of brokenness that hasn’t faded. And then my journey began, alone for the most part, gritting my teeth everyday and refusing to break this one promise I’d made to myself after decades of only self betrayal, and now I look back on the last 640 days and I weep inside, cuz I see 640 days of an unbroken promise. My boys can’t even remember the last time they saw their dad drink. My wife is learning to trust me again. And my mental and physical and spiritual health is as close to healthy as I can remember ever being. What makes me happy is being clear and focused, I enjoy not escaping into an altered reality, and much like Chris, my curiosity has led me to his channel and many others like this. And it’s ok it took me 41 years to get here. Im grateful to all the men and women like Chris who are helping others get their lives on track through the power of their own minds. We only need one friend to get us going, and sometimes that friend is just a friendly voice in our heads.

[@akashtriz]

God bless u mate.

[@terrytari1891]

But Brim, Chris things ALL those things are better than masturbating to a play boy Magazine, right?

[@Onward1969]

You should be a writer. You have a talent there.

[@aileenmac1]

At least you are making up for it. A lot of people just skulk off and never see their family again.

[@Gloriaglo0502]

Congratulations❗ 🎉

[@amylouisebrutonl9051]

I tried for a child at 36 by the time the nhs saw us I was forty, by 41 I was told I’d missed the age window for funding, that’s because it took them a year to see me again. I didn’t have finances for IVF treatment and now at 52 I shall continue to grieve, feel isolated from women and seen as not part of the social norm. It was never my intention not to have children, I always wanted children. The heartbreak is felt by myself and husband.

[@Brat-knee]

Phenomenal podcast / interview. I've never heard anybody speak the way that Chris does it's as if he has a window into my own mind. That's freaking awesome when you hear another person speak the voice you hear inside your head.

[@alanikeiser]

This really hit me hard. I'm 42, single and can't have kids (it truly is painful, deep rooted pain that I am unable to have children). Dating apps have showed me more rejection than actual great meet ups. Going out and meeting people is SO difficult. Yet, I still feel hopeful and want to date. I don't know what the solution is, but I'll keep being open to meeting someone who aligns with me.

[@hammerandthewrench7924]

keep wacking it brother; it's not that serious

[@Humanprototype-wh8qr]

we all struggle, no matter the circumstances

[@drewthompson7457]

I'm 70, and got enough rejection well before dating apps came out. I haven't even looked for a date in 25 years or so. I have no worries about rejection, and don't need to put a woman in a spot were she has to reject me.

[@silkbuttons]

@@hammerandthewrench7924dumbest stupidest comment ever, demonstrative of society’s new bunch

[@Humanprototype-wh8qr]

@@George-ky4wf life is struggle little single cell brain

[@michellelynn177]

I sent this to my step-son and my friends. This episode spoke to me on so many levels. I am a woman that never had a chance to have a child because I waited for the right mate. I found him and then he died. Fortunately I was gifted his children. My close girlfriends never married and have no children. And yes, they planned too, but time ran out of time. Thank You this conversation. Love your channel!😍

[@vanessawest1664]

im so sorry you lost your partner after waiting for the right man

[@mb8219]

Oh wow Michelle.... I'm so glad you did find a partner...but so sorry you lost him 😥 but glad you were blessed with his children

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

Mine didn't want kids and wouldn't let me adopt either.

[@kristinrichmond8185]

@@thislittleweirdgirl332did you have that conversation?

[@thislittleweirdgirl332]

@@kristinrichmond8185 We absolutely had that conversation before marriage. He agreed then, but when we were married he never wanted to be ready. He didn't want to have to take care of our dog, much less a kid.

[@lleytontrainer5729]

That answer hit so hard, Chris. It's the same thing I would say to a younger version of myself. Thank you for all the work you do, love the channel

[@EmilyKresl]

This entire podcast is everything I've been thinking about concerning my sons and daughters and what their childhood looks like compared to mine.

[@katebasss]

The first man that talks about women, motherhood and the challenges of the modern women, without bashing and blaming them! SO SO HAPPY to have come across this! Not all men are pigs ladies!

[@Sisterlisk]

He has good role models.

[@marteumar8429]

@@GR-zh4ol those two things are not mutually exclusive. He does have a good role model, Dr Peterson with whom he has a close personal relationship with. I’ve never seen he talking about his father, although I know he has one and was raised by him and his parents are married. I think his main role model is Peterson as it is to many people

[@KMayflower]

I took so much away from this. My mom passed away from cancer so she’s no longer with us, but something he said reminded me of one of the things she used to say to me 45 years ago, to do what you hate that needs to be done early in the day and then everything after that will be so blissful AND that you will remember those things better and with more joy if they aren’t tainted with what you still need to do. I’ve let that fall by the wayside and want to get back to that practice!! She would have loved this practical and yet insightfully meaningful conversion!

[@ChrsGotFourEyes]

27 years old here. Ya mom sounds like she was filled with wisdom and foresight!

[@katydonna6015]

Thanks for sharing Katie 🤍

[@ecoconatus8089]

Thank you!

[@chinesetarzan]

Oh man… that last bit where Chris got asked the question made me cry. Thankyou for this!❤

[@MD-zy9oq]

I didn't intend to actually watch this it just came on but wow this was genuinely so good and interesting. The loneliness thing hit hard because while I am not a man, I was married, someone I was with from age 22-32, and he died . Our son was only 3 when it happened, I wanted a family and more kids and now I have just found myself in this fucking weird world where the last time I dated anyone , I did not have a child , I lived with my parents, and the world was a very different place. Now I am 35, feeling that burn for the family that never really materialized for me, and in totally uncharted territory, and not to mention I have to bear the dreaded title of 'single mom' . I'm starting to slowly accept the fact that my family is never gonna be what I thought it would be. I guess i at least got to have 1 child so it could be worse but .... Life as a single mom is so hard in so many ways, and my child constantly asks for a sibling. Online dating is awful, no one wants a single mom, and it's not like I have time to date anyway. Just working to barely survive , juggling childcare/school, and doing all the housework with no break or help takes all of my time and energy anyway.

[@livefromtheground7274]

I understand.

[@mR-dc4oq]

I’m sorry you lost your husband and your son lost his dad. This is a reminder: You are not a single mom- most associate that with divorce-ie, baggage. You are a widowed mom- that doesn’t trigger the same thought thread- it happened TO you not BECAUSE of you. Good luck out there. You picked a good one before- you can do it again.

[@Lifetimelearningisbrave]

Find a support group asap! Female friends that understand your life experience that you can depend on are priceless. You may also stumble onto a man who understands the trauma you went through. Either way healthy, again HEALTHY support groups have been life changing for me and m family. 12 step groups saved my marriage, my husbands life, and my sanity. It unstuck the grief and fear that I have been just living with all my life. I tried the therapist religion self help books and ALL the woo woo stuff, these groups actually moved the needle. I didn’t want to go, I still don’t but it’s like the gym, I go because I always feel better after, it’s not magic it’s PRACTICE but also it’s neurologically changing our parasympathetic nervous system around our trauma while others hold space without advice (if they give advice during meeting or those who give more than their experience run those are the untreated codependents lol) I always feel more connected to something bigger than just the blah world I used to dwell in. Bonus, when I do my trauma work, my kids don’t have to carry the burden I failed to heal. And make no mistake, they do when parents just “power through” without taking that time to really root out the abandonment traumas we all experience to some extent. I’m so sorry that you had to go through something so hard. But there are others like you waiting for you to be brave enough to find your tribe but more importantly to recover yourself, your silliness, your freedom. ACA (adult children of alcoholic or dysfunctional families) is a great 12 step group for internal family system work. If you were a child once, you qualify. Good luck.

[@supercal333]

Stay fit and in shape. That will attract more men and then you can take your pick. Choose wisely. Get other men in your life to very them if you can.

[@smirbelbirbel]

I am so sorry for your loss and the hardship you're facing now. It really isn't fair and there is no easy solution. I don't have one either. I just wanted to send a hug from a friendly Internet stranger girl. You sound like a lovely person and I'm sure you'll find a great love again.

[@laura76826]

This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it kzbin.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.

[@Mariliza.]

"Women who thought that they had more time, that struggled to find a partner in time, they grieve the family that they don't have." Very true. 💔

[@veronicamaine3813]

Most of us just don’t want to be second rung in a relationship where we do all the emotional labour and most of the physical as well - if that means not having kids so be it. There is way more to life than being a baby factory - the thought that you need a baby and a partner to live a fulfilling life is total BS. You need companionship or friendship but you don’t need the rest of it.

[@ashamane]

Couldn't be farther from the truth.

[@EtherTheReal]

​@@veronicamaine3813you got alot of crying and healing to do in the future...

[@EtherTheReal]

​@@ashamaneyou share the same fate as the person youre trying to encourage to ruin their lives.

[@ashamane]

@@EtherTheReal I share the same fate as literally every human on the planet: Death. You know what I don't have to deal with? Poverty because I had kids I couldn't afford. Destroying the lives of children by passing on the generational trauma too wound up to unravel. Fuck off with your breeder bullshit. Not everyone is meant to breed; we've come so much further than that. If that's your only purpose in life I pity you.

[@Gradvlax]

Thanks for having such an honest, no-bull discussion on really important issues. Everyone should /watch listen to this episode.

[@anapelin3969]

I absolutely loved every second of this! Thank you both for bringing so much into the world. I’m inspired for the year ahead and going to work both smarter and harder on myself. Also I’ve changed my mind about dating, dating apps and kind of gained some hope regarding romantic relationships. Chris you’re so humble and beautifully inspiring. Grateful to you both 🫶🏻

[@ambition112]

0:00: 😔 Chris Williamson, an entrepreneur, and podcaster, discusses his personal journey from being chronically unpopular and bullied to finding success in the nightlife events business, only to realize that something was still missing. 11:03: 💪 The speaker discusses the dark driving force of fear of insufficiency and the toxic fuel it provides, as well as the importance of reprogramming it and finding intrinsic alignment. 21:22: 🎯 Taking action is key to building confidence and overcoming feelings of insufficiency. 32:52: 💪 Discipline is more valuable than motivation in achieving goals and forming habits. 42:58: 👥 Loneliness is a growing epidemic, with social media and a lack of social skills contributing to the problem. 54:26: 📚 The challenges in the mating market are caused by the increase in female achievement in education and employment, leading to an imbalance in the dating pool. 1:06:28: 👥 There is an epidemic of loneliness and sexlessness among both men and women, with challenges in dating and relationships. 1:18:52: 💬 The conversation discusses the need for balance in addressing inappropriate behavior and how men can be better at approaching women without making them feel uncomfortable. 1:30:37: 🤔 Regrets are inevitable, so choose the regret you can live with. 1:42:21: 🔑 Regret and sacrifice are essential for success, as they represent the choices and opportunities we didn't pursue. 1:52:58: ❤ Chris reflects on his journey, opens up about his challenges, and emphasizes the importance of taking action and embracing vulnerability 2:04:48: 🌱 The speaker discusses the importance of superfoods and announces a new product called Daily Greens by Huel. Recap by Tammy AI

[@anjikyuzan]

thank you

[@manmeet390]

Thank you!

[@skippy6086]

Tammy AI is a great tool! 👍

[@sorartificial]

Don't you love eightify>?

[@wezzyb8]

Timestamping the commercials lmao

[@ellie4683]

This is one of the most valuable conversations I have heard! Thank you for the wisdom! I see around me how young people struggle and you point right at the problems. Married for 30 years myself I can say that the turning point for us was the decision to value each other. That fixed 80% of our troubles. I wish for society to stop devaluing: men devalue women, women devalue men. Such nonsense. Just stop it and make a decision to appreciate each other, maybe even if you feel at this moment that the other doesn’t earn it. And all try to be the best version of yourself. Poisonous people should be avoided of course, but if someone is just a normal guy or girl, we can grow so much in life when we get appreciation from one another and decide to aim up.

[@PsyJaye]

Yes.. well stated.. it needn't be so controversial and mysterious that when people respect and care for each other as long as they want the relationship then they will find a way.. I Love My Wife who is also my best friend and we play music together but we met at Our Creator through a good introductory conversation.. She is quite the woman for this particular man..

[@SOFAkju]

So true. My partner is a very wise man and in the beginning of our relationship he said "let's be good to each other". And so we are, and it informs all our interactions.

[@morgitory]

Wrong, the difference is outlook, your marriage was not yeh factor, it’s was your economic security and circumstances that gave you that security in your relationship, something young people will never experience ever again, especially considering the economic growth during that time which has plateaued. To find a solution it’s best to learn from the person with the problem, not the one without.

[@PsyJaye]

@@morgitory definitely a timely observation but sadly one that never properly provoked me with an extra dollar to distract us away from the elements that helped us cozy in the cool and chill in the heat.. I would say it is a few mutual obsessions such as doing gigs together and a love for everyday of the week that finds us free to continue.. ..

[@acct4600]

women devalue men a lot more than the other way around. when women make a certain income, they say they don't need men. the same is not the case for men. even woman-hating incels admit that they need women. herein lies the problem. lets not act like the issue is the same on both sides, its not. this is an issue with women that needs to be rectified.

[@AJA-ie5uu]

Wow, I didn’t expect to like this episode but how refreshing. As a woman lucky enough to be mother/wife/daughter/friend of some excellent men I despair of what the modern world of relationships has become.

[@Deific1]

Loved this episode...resonates with me in so many ways that I had to just write something. The question at the end touched me and felt like therapy...Thank you Steven and Chris.

[@joelobeck6214]

I really believe the major human crisis is just this plain and simple feeling that many people don’t feel loved. They also don’t know where to find it. That experience of knowing love literally cures all ailments.

[@vvv-kj3le]

🩷

[@drewthompson7457]

I have looked for a definition of love, as I don't know what it means. It seems "love" effects the same areas of the brain that addictive drugs do. Addictive drugs are easier to find...

[@richardmarknagy9225]

On the topic of choosing your regrets: I'm 29, moved to a new country, new people, new job. The reason I did is because I know that in 10 years time I'll look back and think: I have no regrets, because I have seized the opportunity when it was given to me. Regret is way worse than failure.

[@WhiteWolfeHU]

Hol laktál elöb és hová költöztél?

[@timspiker]

Depends on the depth of the failure. My failures made me regret leaving my country and starting in a new one. All that happened was I lost everything due to Covid, now I know what it's like to lose everything... I still gained something, knowledge for one and more emotions. I don't know, regret seems the same. I've dealt with both during my lifetime. Failure feels like despair and regret feels like despair also. They're 2 sides of the same coin. It worked for you because you didn't lose everything. Remember the shoes you wear, for another does not wear the same pair of shoes.

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

You didn’t lose everything, you traded all you had for a new knowledge for this knowledge you left with you will be able to leverage to gain it all back and more so. ❤

[@timspiker]

@@aTribeCalledCasey I don't know. I was about to become a DJ playing music for people at big parties, all of that changed since Covid. The industry is not the same as it was, the people who lobbied me lost their money and chose for people who worked cheaper even though I deliver higher quality, it was a harsh meeting with reality and its offended the inner artist in me who refuses to work quick, I take time and care to create things. On top of that we have AI lurking around the corner and it's replacing artists at an alarming rate. Art is always the first industry to suffer technological advancements. Think of painters when computers came around and digital artists became able to make posters and pictures better and faster. It's only a matter of time before AI can do this with music. Most people think about better outcomes, but realistically speaking, taking everything from the past 3 years into consideration I truly start to doubt this planet is on the up, just the way we use our technologies, it's all on the side of big business and profit. It's shameful to say the least, it's a world I don't support. I ask God for a miracle.

[@annmarieknapp2480]

What a great comment!!! Good for you. I do have regrets and I am working hard to let the past go. I made mistake of getting married and other choices related to that. It profoundly altered my life and put me in a prison of sorts. Divorce couldn't undo the massive damage from that poor decision. I am now trying to get some kind of a satisfying life with time I have left. Absolutely,think it's great that you are making plans and doing what you want. That's awesome.

[@GodSavess]

Hands down the greatest perspective changing podcast I’ve ever listened too. Thank you🙏🏼

[@mandismith89]

what is destroying dating and relationships is people having unrealistic expectations thinking they deserve more and better by being influenced by unrealistic social media. Its almost made it incredibly easy to cheat making trust now a forgotten art

[@jpjapers]

Absolutely this.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

But women must absolutely have standards of behaviour in men. Many women do deserve better than abusive men.

[@elatednation9940]

@@bluebellbeatnik4945 many men deserve better than high horse snobby women

[@donmagik6250]

​​@@bluebellbeatnik4945 and likewise men should always have standards of behaviour in women. Men deserve better than abusive women too. I know you view point is very much centered around just women but you should try showing empathy and perspective from the male side. Actually try listening to men and maybe you will understand better rathrr than projecting all this vitriol in all your comments

[@scottsaul]

Ben you have nailed it mate . It's so obvious as well thanks.

[@dylanr1316]

Wow. That was THE most powerful ending statement I have ever heard in my 34 years of life. I have never wanted to smash a like button on a video as hard as I am now.

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Wow! This is amazing to hear! 🙏

[@muntanga9538]

It's amazing how Chris brings up stats like he has them written down. Thank you Steven for just having these awesome conversations

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

These stats about women regretting not having children are nostly ridiculous some mans fantasy

[@user-pg8uh7zr8s]

People who can recall stats easily usualy have a bit of autism in them

[@jakevendrotti1496]

People prepare for these public broadcastings. They're not magic😅 But it's still cool that he has things to say that we didn't know, so yeah

[@patc2515]

​@@jakevendrotti1496 I don't think they were suggesting that it was magic so much as it is impressive when someone prepares for something and have a lot of accurate useful knowledge at the top of mind ready to go. Every now and then you will see an interview where the guest did not prepare and it's painfully obvious although not super common at least not in my experience. Christ did a great job with this.

[@Chris-qn1by]

@@patc2515 yeah because all Chris does are these podcasts, he uses the same stats over and over, whereas other guests mostly have full time positions on top of being interviewed. In a way though, this single male epidemic is good business ;)

[@dijo9581]

"You cant get out of making a choice, not making a choice is still a choice". Those are the exact words of wisdom I have been saying to someone close to me who is suffering with anxious cycles of avoidance. I love the balance of the polarities of our masculine and feminine nature that comes out of the discussion within this podcast. Very insightful!

[@billions6362]

"Act first" Thank you so much sir. You have changed my life forever

[@ethosterros9430]

act first think later or what?

[@BennyTenuci1]

Why did his answer to that last question make me cry. Great content Thank you both and happy New Year 🎉❤

[@JSH2034]

Chris is so underrated, despite having 800k subs on youtube I don’t see that many people talking about his podcast. He really deserves all the attention. Modern Wisdom is one of the best shows thats currently out there. Thanks for having him on.

[@divine7223]

Truly the GOAT podcaster, crazy to see how good he has become

[@Paul2377]

I dunno. I'm struggling to see how much of what he says is just his limited view and how much of it is fact. Like when he says most sex is within relationships. There's no source given, so how do we know it's even right?

[@XavierJAlexander]

He’s an incel whispering alt right adjacent weirdo

[@kratos.8151]

He has a lot of right wing lunatics on that really holds him back sadly. He's really bad at challenging them too so there's a stink when viewed by other outlets.

[@divine7223]

@@kratos.8151 Bad at challenging them? What I like about Chris is, he will see this and adress it with action =) Lets do it Chris, 3 episode, 2 hours each, challenging em alllll

[@carmenburnham1088]

I am 73 and have 3 daughters. Initially, I didn’t want to have children but ended up having my first child at 20. I loved being a mother. Nothing like it. It has been very rewarding. My husband was a good husband and father. We were married 42 years. I also had a career once my children got in school. I wonder if women don’t want to get married because (aside from being sold a lie about severe feminism) but perhaps they fear their husband abandoning them. Women need security and men desire admiration.

[@outsideworld76]

Men want respect and appreciation. Hard to get these days from women.

[@blakebunch4485]

Give this woman a podcast. She has lived and has the actual experience to share and not just some damn theory. Thank you for sharing some of your experience. Hopefully your words will land on at least one person who takes it to heart.

[@elle_a_99]

I grew up in highly dysfunctional and abusive household. My father had no interest in being a father and abandoned us when I was 4. My mother struggled to make ends meet. She and my aunt (who was like my 2nd mother) made terrible choices in men. Both women became the main breadwinners of the household while their partners indulged in drugs, alcohol and whatever they wanted to do with their free time. Lacking any examples of what a healthy relationship should be like lead me to buy into the extreme feminism. I worked hard to put myself through college, have a solid career in tech, and own real estate. Chris' description of "Tall Girl Syndrome" hit the nail on the head for me! It is shocking but not surprising to hear the statistic that 50% of men are on the decline of education and career. Why would I want to date a guy who is stoned and plays video games all day? What is going on with this? I'd rather be alone than subject myself to that. Getting married and having children was never a top priority to me, since I was in survival mode to escape abusive households, and just never met a man who I felt would be a good partner to raise a family. (A LOT of men DO NOT want to have children, so the blame is not entirely on feminist women). It’s definitely challenging to find a man who doesn't try in some way to "take me down a notch" to exert control. I do believe that a healthy relationship is still possible for me, and aware that my own inner work needs to be done so I can choose wisely. I am learning to set boundaries and communicate them positively. I hope more men & women work toward this, because what is going on now is not working.

[@ZalemMoon]

@@outsideworld76 Hard to get from men too...

[@alexl8445]

@@elle_a_99 You have to be the provider and take care of the family like many good men have done for their wives and family. Build a family with a virtuous man who would take care of the family even if he won't bring in any money. If you don't won't that and you want him to work also and on top of that make as much, close, or more money than you, then I'm sorry, you're asking for too much. I think most men would gladly take care of their family but not want both parents to be wage slaves. Most men are checking out because they can't find a woman who's family oriented and are instead just career oriented.

[@captainzappbrannagan]

Love the wiseness of hitch, and Chris for exploring the salient timeless advice he gave us before leaving.

[@amatusiulii]

Amazing. I cannot stress enough how incredibly great this conversation is. Congrats.

[@MegaSnippezz]

When I first met my girlfriend, I felt as if I had loved her but at the same time, I couldn't feel anything. It was a horrible dilemma. It lasted several months and I didn't say much to people as I know they'd respond stating that "she isn't the one" if that feeling of doubt was there, but something deep inside me knew it was more than that. And so, I stuck with that feeling. When that strong feeling of love for her was there, it was strong I could have cried and when I looked at her and imagined that I ever doubted her, I could have cried too. The love she gave me I realised was too overwhelming, my psyche wasn't used to it for in the past, that love was invisible from everyone else. It is the danger of getting used to the feeling of rejection and isolation. Even though you yourself know both of those are negative feelings, your psyche gets used to it, gets comfortable with it. If you go too far entertaining those feelings like I did, love feels alien, unusual. It feels like nothing even though you know it's there, deep inside of you, only for some reason you can't get it out. It's at that moment you have to remind yourself that those feelings of estrangement in love - that's your body in shock of something it thought it would never get.

[@ranirathi3379]

i get every word of what you say. i loved someone the same way she loves you (if she did then, there's a huge chance she still does, coz that kind of love isn't what goes away). and it felt so alien to her, so the possibility of having it brought up first the possibility of being accustomed to it, only to have it taken away again and that hurt wud be more than she cud recover from. so she kept herself walled. and everytime we met, something in me got her heart responding, becoming warm, and it scared her so much. it's not her failing, and it wasn't your failing either. it was where she was then, and it was where you were then in life. can't fault you for it. just that love like that doesnt go away. there's no BECAUSE, no REASON why i love her, so i can now stop. it just is. like the sun is.

[@Emapten]

it may be a danger getting used to isolation, idk if getting used to rejection is a bad thing. as mentioned in this video, 84%women want to be approached. accepting rejection with preserverance is better than being motionless. that's s kind-of a of internal isolation. Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid of being comfortable. there is no growth in comfort

[@erinjenkins4738]

Wow I understand this completely!

[@blazemusing5491]

Thanks for sharing and really well put. The reaction could be considered a subconcious learnt coping mechanism of shutting down to protect oneself where you previously needed and sought connection but was unseen/unheard/rejected. Wishing you continued success.

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

That's close to how I would feel I would be loved by a gf. That's one of the thousand reasons why I don't date anymore. Even if I would stuble across the right one just by pure chance, I wouldn't be able to appreciate her at all. I would be skeptical and doubtful of her to the point that I would lash out at her and call her crazy for loving such a narcissistic asshole like me. I even fear love, because it was one sided in the past and it destroyed me, so I forsake it altogether. But in the back of my mind I know I want someone to love me for who I am. It's a paradoxical mindset where you deep down want love, but would condemn anyone who does so. Considering this, I'm better off alone so I don't hurt someone who just tried to love me....

[@felicityforlorn5168]

I sobbed when you spoke about childless women. I am one. No one knows the absolute grief and emptiness I feel because I never had a family.

[@katekohl6059]

I'm sorry you have these difficult feelings. I am going to assume that you didn't choose to not have a family although you weren't specific about that, and I need to respect that this causes you pain. In contrast, however, I knew by the time I was 25 that I did not want to be a parent, and to be responsible for bringing in another human being into this world, which I think is a quite ridiculous place. So, I made absolutely sure that I didn't. No sex without reliable birth control, never. My husband's vasectomy was very reliable! I don't regret that decision at all as a 60 year old. It seems to be a misunderstanding, to put it mildly, that if a woman never has a family that she has missed out because they always wanted one. That couldn't be farther from the truth.

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

Now you know what it’s like for an average man

[@Danielle-zq7kb]

@@katekohl6059 Have some empathy. You made a conscious choice and it is obvious she didn’t. She isn’t devaluing your experience or choice. You also aren’t alone and she might be.

[@captainbeastazoid7084]

@@katekohl6059 If you made your decision and you're happy with it, great! But the point is that there's an increasing amount of childless women who are NOT happy about their situation. Addressing their needs is not a criticism of you or your lifestyle. If you're happy being childless, then none of this applies to you. This is for the women who want kids.

[@HiddenTruthExposed]

Actually a good percentage of men do

[@con-can571]

This is such a great interview and a wonderful way to start the day. There is so much here to think about. God bless you and your family.

[@dinaguarrasi9262]

This is my first encounter with Chris Williamson! I am completely enthralled with his way of thinking and speaking! He is One of the most intelligent intellectual and contagious speakers I have come across in a very long time! (Aside from you of course Steve ! 😉) very i toxicatingly interesting…i look forward to getting to know his show ! Thanks Steve for all thèse amazing speakers you bring on! ❤

[@doctorcofrin851]

If you like the person that you’re with when you’re alone, you can never be lonely

[@eugenio_costa82]

Online dating (in 2022) grew my confidence 10 folds and removed my limiting beliefs about my chances, my "league", my potential. Then through online dating I met my current partner, whom I'd never met otherwise as I was an expats and my only social circle was my colleagues on drinking weekends. Meeting my partner saved my life and made me a better human being. We've been together over 11 years now and we're more in love than ever.

[@VioletEmerald]

So... do you mean in 2012? Not 2022 lol?

[@heleneb8945]

Before the era of 'throwaway society', where everyone is now replaceable today. 11 years ago people genuinely wanted to meet someone online and build a life...not to be pessimistic but if you dated online today that might have been a different story lol

[@SaMiDauSiEuCuParerea-cf4zm]

Chris, I love your ideas and mindset. So much resonates with my early beliefs that got buried by abuse. I have to dig them out and live by them. Thank you so much and keep up the good work. You help promote the better sides in humans.

[@guiltyfeethavenorhythm]

what do you mean by buried?

[@MrEdfed]

I came across this entirely by accident but I'm so glad I did. As a 30 year old guy with friends who are all either married, have kids or in long term relationships, I find it impossible to talk to anyone about the crippling loneliness i feel every single day. Online dating apps and social media have completely knocked my self image and confidence down to nothing and I feel like the expectations on me to be successful, good looking and healthy are so unrealistic I've essentially given up entirely on these endeavours. I've more or less accepted the reality of a life without a partner and I really do not know how much more I can take.

[@tarquin161234]

Don't know why I'm bothering to write this message, but speaking from personal experience, just get the fuck on with it as it will only get harder. It will not happen on it's own. Make it happen. Imagine being 40 with a receding hair line and knowing you don't stand a chance with any of the women you find attractive.

[@Prince_ofwolves]

Get off social media. You will feel better with time when your more present.

[@howardwong2181]

I suspect we should be more cognizent over where we source our dopamine in this very complicated modern day version of the social fabric. Let's face it- social media is not the culprit. It's a matter of self-management and optimizing our design of guardrails. Just more shit to do. =D

[@howardwong2181]

Who's MrEdfed ? Wow you guys are good.....

[@s0ne01]

Social media is in no way a reflection of the real world.

[@chanyzv]

As a mother of four boys thank you so much for shining this light on motherhood! I can’t be more proud and privileged to be a mom ❤

[@monogramadikt5971]

hopefully you wont have to watch them destroy themselves before they reach their 30th birthdays

[@perrycoffey5410]

@@monogramadikt5971 it depends if she's a single mom if she is odds are this will happen

[@Thomes-Maisling]

@@perrycoffey5410 Insensitive dick comment of the week award goes to you 🏆

[@insomnolant6043]

Your children are blessed to have a mother like you.

[@lonewolffullmoon]

Congratulations Protect your children at all costs!!!

[@sicoactivo]

What a great episode, really insightful; makes you keep asking yourself those questions that tend to move you forward. Thanks!

[@eunicedetoiles9901]

Great thought provoking conversation. I love the self-awareness, humility and honesty. ty.

[@josephtaylor6285]

Listening to Chris is like listening to my emotional doppelgänger. His childhood experiences mirror my own. This was a conversation that has done me wonders. Love his powers of observation.

[@RalphNardell]

“Hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been.” This is a powerful truth. We must examine the ideals we believe in.

[@MartinezCodes]

Actually hell is a place where your soul will go if you’re not in Jesus Christ when you die…repent and believe in the Gospel of Christ. He died for you so that you may be saved if you choose Him. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

[@spitgiezer]

Chris williamson is such a inspirational role model. What a genuinely deep thinking and motivational speaker.

[@user-zv3to8en8q]

Chris, Thank you! Good man with honest approach. Resonating so much. Go on as you do. That is more than enough.

[@40pianos]

Regret is a form of longing; I long for an outcome that might have been had I behaved differently. Now, a senior, I realize that those things that I once regretted were the most important events in my life, the events that led to insights, enlightenment and, eventually, wisdom. And born of what limited wisdom I've acquired, I no longer regret anything.

[@yourlogicalnightmare1014]

The only goal that matters in life is learning the nature of awareness, consciousness, reality, and god and how to dissolve the self, a cognitive prison that leaves its victims trapped in the illusion of separation from god. Therapy is a complete waste of time as the goal is reinforcement and clarification of self. Unfortunately, most people will be forced to live hundreds or thousands of times before they get it

[@kevinswett1964]

Especially given his age, Chris Williamson carries an extraordinary amount of wisdom. This episode was powerful.

[@aTribeCalledCasey]

“Wisdom comes with practice, not age. Some people just take a while to get started” -jesús christo

[@Mercy1-]

He's Awesome

[@kencutrone5089]

This was one of the most informative and insightful videos I’ve seen. Amazing content I will certainly watch many times…

[@user-xe4cr8ei6s]

Cleaned my entire room after watching this vid. Wanted to do it for a while. I didn't do it cause i thought i was busy... I have lots of things with work, so i didn't want to do small things like clean my room cause i thought i would waste my time. But everyone who says they don't have time just dont want to.

[@ms_patrice_to_you]

I couldn't pull myself away from any word in this interview. And when he said "You're doing great" at the end... I couldn't stop the tears of joy from falling. This was profound, diverse and touching. Thank you.

[@KatrinaDancer]

I'm a 5'8" female and I literally couldn't care less about how tall or short someone is. They just need to have great hygiene and be kind to me AND animals. Intellectual curiosity is good too.

[@KatrinaDancer]

BTW I like the term "domestic prostitute." I feel like that's what some people are who married for the wrong reasons.

[@jhoward5722]

Hi

[@alexbraswell5021]

I think your my soulmate.

[@arkyjamal6771]

You say that but if you had to choose you we all know what the answer would be.

[@dougk2932]

You are a tiny minority of Women if you really stand by these criteria...........Most go by Height Money Looks Status etc....

[@angierox6964]

2:04:39 beautiful closing, tears in my eyes

[@Naveeed27]

I came across number of podcasts but never feel worthy how much I felt for this….. you both are simply gem 😊 1:33:22 ❤

[@nfbconnect]

I'm 38 and I've never been in a relationship with a man that wasn't abusive. I don't mind that I haven't dated or had sex in years. I feel happier single, childless and chronically alone than I have ever felt while dating a man.

[@amyfu2047]

44 and same. Only abusive partners. Sometimes I feel very alone but I have lots of children in my life through friends, and my nieces and nephews of course. I feel like I am better off alone most of the time.

[@shafaatoo9328]

Im ngl, both of you sound like you are on copium, but I wish you well

[@alj2301]

​@@shafaatoo9328 An ignorant and disrespectful comment. There is no need to undermine anyone else's experience.

[@bloom4096]

@@shafaatoo9328 Ngl, you sound like an abuser 😂😂

[@Tomclarkdeathshred]

@@shafaatoo9328 yeh, I think we need to let women be comfortable to express that stuff. Imagine expressing that publicly, when at times it might have been a crippling pain in their life.

[@tony-silver]

That's a special podcast and I'm so grateful to be here. I love how much space the guest has and how correct Steve's questions are and how he navigates through discussion. Staying here for longer.

[@JeffersonRah]

His message at the end got me. It's exactly what I've been telling myself the last couple of weeks.

[@Chemike21]

I could never understand why people care what others think. Its a massive mystery to me. My philosophy has always been: Live a worthy life, and do your best to benefit others. What people think, has nothing to do with my life philosophy.

[@kevinchang0527]

Neither can I, but somehow saying that out loud appears to be unempathetic, even if it's true

[@Chemike21]

@@kevinchang0527 Don't say it out loud then.

[@sarah2853]

I think it's really true what he said to have more sympathy.. I'm 34 female, kind of a high achiever, run my own business, got degrees and stuff, yet I deal with such loneliness because when I'm online dating, I judge guys on the most objective things.. whereas if i met them in person, I actually don't care if they're earn less if they've got some very attractive traits (i.e. patience, kindness, humour - all these important and super attractive virtues).. and also if they embrace that I'm a bit ambitious, but that's only one side of me - I'm also incredibly sensitive and nurturing, and that's hard to know from online. The problem with in person dating is, sometimes you join a community and it takes a lot of time to sort out whether someone is single or taken, and even if they're single, you need to sort out their intentions. Tbh i have no solutions, but from what i got from this episode is, women should also be more sympathetic to guys, so next time i think i will just smile and say hi and not wait for them to make the first move, and i will be friendly even to guys who dont seem attractive because there could be hidden gems in people. bring back offline dating !!

[@TheZGALa]

I felt and still feel so worthless as a mother in the eyes of society. Completely devalued as a human being. I was born out of wedlock, and did not plan the pregnancy I carried to term. I had several terminations due to lack of partnership. I cry about it regularly. The moment I became a mother my identity was reduced to nothing but that. It was and still is heart wrenching.

[@km0262]

Do you not think it’s because society now looks down on motherhood? No one really goes it’s heart wenching that my identity is only that of CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

[@queenchiomaofficial]

I’ll say this to you…it’s your perception and self worth that you need to focus on and work on! As we have the celebrity Kate Hudson that’s the mother of three kids with 3 different men and no one even knows as she carries herself as if she’s a super star. You have to love yourself, forgive yourself and throw away society’s view of you…write out 20 healthy affirmations that will make you feel loved, valued and worthy and say them twice a day until you actually believe these words (but don’t stop even when you do believe so that you don’t start to doubt yourself again) and your life will begin to change and you’ll start feeling respected, honoured, worthy and attract good people, opportunities, a great man etc. Also pray and read your Bible (if you believe in God) as the bible is full of encouragement esp the psalms. ❤️🌸💕

[@TheZGALa]

@@queenchiomaofficial Yeah--this kind of bs, exactly. Case in point. I feel fine with myself. I love myself, and my son, and love being a mother. Society is a judgemental fuck. Kindly shove your unsoliceted advice and bible pushing bullshit somewhere useful.

[@ruthdevisser6632]

Please see a therapist,I’m serious.

[@Mel130673]

When you hit middle age you feel even worse. You become invisible. Never forget giving birth to a child and nurturing that child is important and a very difficult job. Motherhood….parenthood should be celebrated. Ignore society, it’s a complete mess anyway and focus on you and how amazing you are as a mother.

[@Philatlondon1]

This is the best episode I've watched. So much of it speaks to me.

[@rufomco7388]

This video should be shown in all the schools around the world. Psychology is a very important subject.

[@GreggsonWong]

Wow, Chris succinctly breaking down dating culture.😯❤ 55:40 overview 1:00:58 the problem 1:02:38 results 1:03:28 solution

[@avishjhugroo2473]

He could not have said it anymore clearly 😂😂

[@mattng4707]

Thank you

[@Thermopylae2007]

Very good analysis, but perhaps part of the problem lies in the fact that the cost of living has exacerbated the need to focus upon income and status. If an average, single income could buy a house we'd all be a lot less fixated on winning the rat race, whether in terms of relationships or otherwise.

[@CassiesCattopia]

Thank you!!!!!! I struggle with this interview style!!

[@GreggsonWong]

@@Thermopylae2007 In a nutshell... Modern vs Traditional. In today's world 🌎 women are modern. Truly, women are the ones to pass values & character to their daughters. But, in western society that's rare indeed. 😑

[@Shyted]

I was listening to this in bed this morning and turned it off after 40 minutes, got out of bed and went to the gym. Getting up to go is such a struggle, hopefully I have the same motivation on Thursday too. Finished the video after getting home. What a great interview.

[@raewynurwin4256]

Bravo, its called requiring stimulus, even at 75 it works.

[@therealPT302]

Good luck

[@TheKilkenny1967]

Great conversations boys so full of Awareness and brilliant tips on the small steps to that Awareness!

[@sherryhigginslewis4244]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I absolutely agree with what he said about never being okay with the knowledge that I have. I also love learning and want to know so much more and I have an incredible drive for learning that keeps me going and motivated in life. The problem is that we are never paid to learn. We have to make money to pay school tuition , rent, car loans etc and then 10 years pass and we’re stuck children spouse bills bills bills and never get good at one thing because of having so many things of interest

[@nisabodak4929]

This episode opened my eyes on why I feel like an imposter, even when I'm successful. I have been constantly breaking promises to myself and that's why I never trusted myself or my abilities. Thank you so much.

[@MisterNMason]

Amen

[@JaydonRose]

I think this was indeed very insightful, but for you to carefully consider what was said and recognize that within yourself, that too shows a willingness to learn, admit you had areas to work on, and be open to change! Keep on growing! 😊🙏 And may we all learn to trust in Jesus more than we trust in ourselves! He said if we put our trust in him, he will grant us riches unknown!

[@Fresh-sh2gc]

Wtf does that even mean? Airhead.

[@elevate5136]

Mate that fear of insufficiency and running away from becoming what you don’t want to be like the feeling of being worthless as a child, is exactly me ! I don’t chase my goals I run away from my demons. Running away from a monster is just stressful. Running towards your dreams makes you happy. Most profound piece of information I’ve ever heard on a podcast. Thank you so much for helping me realise this.❤

[@ultr4fly60]

yes, turn around an chase your dreams. But it helps if you understand yourself and your past. When i read your post i thought of: "Massive Attack - Angel" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/npPIZHaHltJ5bs0

[@kriptonis]

you need to a) come to a place where you are happy in solitude b) always compete ONLY with yourself. Are you better today than yesterday? Then today was a success. I know this seems over-simplistic. But small steady improvement makes a huge difference. And being ok with you alone is a great motivation to continue the change. *solitude not loneliness. Solitude means enjoying yourself and your time with you.

[@charismahornum-fries691]

When you are so much above water that you can figure out what those dreams are.

[@darren7422]

That point in the conversation brought me a different realization. Once I was through my extremely negative childhood/teens/ 20's nothing more fearful than that could bring me down. No cat will ever scare me. Knowing that I can get cheese whenever I want may keep me from really aggressively going after my desire to earn the whole dairy farm so I can produce all the cheese needed to feed the world. And pay for a jet. A jet would be nice.

[@shilohguin255]

@@darren7422 so much wisdom here. Very nice!

[@StefaniaCzech]

One of the most powerful tools I have learned is to pull myself out of myself in times of severe self doubt, stress, and treat myself as I would my friend, a child, or even a stranger. Now I take myself by the hand when I make desicions, we do things together that are in alignment. Its been amazingly freeing to learn this type of self love and self acceptance and a new self gentleness. But I had to be willing to treat myself as my best friend until i knew with everything in me, I was the BEST person for myself! I have alyways been looking for, ME!

[@Sillyness11]

I’d previously listened to Chris’s podcast where you on as his guest. He’s an even better guest than an interviewer. It’s incredible, how you managed to knit together topics that at first seem unrelated, till he connects the lines and weaves a pattern I’d seen only partially. I was moved to tears at points of his podcast as what he said hit home. It was an emotional and very relevant episode. I’d say it’s one of my absolute favorites. Thank you both for having an organic discussion about what’s plaguing our society. @thediaryofaceo

[@cathyortiz1280]

One reason women don't wanna have kids is they still go to work & still do the cooking, cleaning & childcare. If the guys would chip in at home, it might make a difference. I was married 15 years in a bad marriage. Had my daughter & almost died twice. Have a medical condition rest of my life. I love my daughter. However, it does take a medical toll on many women. They can literally die. The dating apps are horrible. I keep wanting to meet a guy in person at a coffee shop. They just wanna meet on another app or have my phone number. 90% of communication is body language. Also, I read the profiles & they don't. They just judge you by your looks. Also, lots of fakes & scammers on them.

[@MargaretBelle]

right?!

[@marteumar8429]

It’s womens fault that they work and still do all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare. They allow it. I see women complaining about this all the time how males are lazy or “have it easy” whilst they do all the hard work of maintaining a family but hey, to every lazy male who doesn’t cook, clean, care for his kid, there’s a weak-minded, dumb, doormat woman who accept that and will promptly be his maid. Act like a doormat get treated like a doormat, it takes two for tango. Most women refuse to take accountability.