Chrissy New Glasses w/ Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 178

Go catch Chris at The Theater at MSG in NYC on September 23rd. Get tickets at chrisdcomedy.com/tickets.
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Chris Distefano joins Tom Segura as a guest bear in Bert Kreischer’s place this week! Tom and Chris discuss, Chrissy’s new look, weight loss, the effects of social media, Chris’ new show “Super Maximum Retro Show”, and much more! Chris also shares some hilarious stories about his dad, Tampa Tony, meeting Steven Tyler and Phil Collins, as well as a wild story about an argument Chris witnessed.
tomsegura.com/tour
www.bertbertbert.com/tour
store.ymhstudios.com/
KZbin Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:02 - Chris Has Gone Completely Insane
00:04:53 - Glasses
00:07:33 - Weight Loss
00:24:44 - Effects of Social Media
00:30:19 - Super Maximum Retro Show
00:32:31 - Tampa Tony vs. Steven Tyler
00:38:10 - Phil Collins Story
00:48:04 - Tom Dropped His Drink Courtside
00:54:33 - Success
01:01:36 - Suey Wuey Story
01:22:29 - Politics

[@flyforfun12]

Knowing chris already lost these glasses makes it much more funny

[@Hellboymg]

Faaaacts

[@Jake-jv2pu]

I'm slightly out of the loop and had to see if he really did... amazing 🤣

[@samueldonaldson2226]

He’s got a new pair already too

[@Givens94]

Which podcast did he say he lost them?

[@samueldonaldson2226]

@@Givens94 it was on an IG reel

[@stephengomez2766]

Chrissy should have his own show where Joey Diaz plays his dad.

[@Farhanio]

Ohh! Good one! They should try it! It can only be amazing. Even if the writers are sketchy, to say the least.

[@sarah-yl7uc]

Omg yes hahahaha

[@yojon4905]

That would be awesome

[@ARLMedia]

Id watch 6 seasons of it

[@OCmenacemafia]

Maybe not a dad role but a "dad" type role 😅 like a close boss or a mentor that slaps him around a lil😂😂😂

[@519Majestic]

Even someone as chaotic as Chrissy still lets Tom finish a thought lmao

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

He is one of thee best podcast guests ever for that reason alone in my opinion

[@jarviselmerhath7769]

Isn’t it awful that my first thought was “damn he stopped on a dime to let Tom finish.”?

[@will_boner17]

"My dad thought I was gay because I loved blueberries when I was a kid" is one of the funniest throwaways from Chris I've ever heard.

[@isaacrayburn969]

I thought blueberries were gay when I was a kid then I grew up them shits is delicious lol

[@ScorpionP2C]

if youve ever listened to the guy he says his dad thought he was gay for 100 different things, its all made up son reality is his dad barely talks to him and vice versa, not so funny

[@omgsus]

​@@ScorpionP2C that's funnier

[@benr970]

@@ScorpionP2Csounds like you have some father issues

[@tambob82]

Channeling Theo on that one.

[@ja5304]

Not even the matrix could supply Chrissy enough closets to come out of.

[@DekkarJr]

LOL

[@Hellboymg]

Lmaooooooo

[@grantpowell4135]

Jjj my guy epic joke

[@seanmcgonigle1182]

😂😂😂

[@gobengals8804]

That’s hilarious but I bet he really does smash hot chicks

[@Jabroni31]

I love how Tom genuinely thinks Chris is funny af, it’s rare that you see him glow when he hangs out with someone like that

[@thomasrawlings368]

Chris is one of those guys that’s not a really good comedian but in normal situations is the funniest person in the room.

[@danlyons7623]

@@thomasrawlings368 Always hysterical when mediocre people say someone whose good at something actually isn't good

[@LocChicago5]

His wife Christina p laughs her ass off at Chris also 😀

[@arok2171]

Same thing when Felipe come on .. straight killers

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

​@@thomasrawlings368 Chrissy is probably one of, if not the best comedian around right now. You're smoking crack.

[@chrisdcomedy]

THANKS FOR HAVING ME !! COME TO NYC AND LET'S GRAB A SLICE SEGURA!!

[@thestraydog]

How is this not a pinned comment! Loved the Frank v Johnny story btw, brilliant

[@dh23dabears]

Your birthday is August 26th... I'm the 31st!!!! You're welcome tom😁

[@ram-ham]

Bert reading therapy ads, while clearly wasted, is hilarious.

[@RaccoonBrigade]

“It’s physically transformed me!” he said with slurred speech and a bloated alcoholic face.

[@TyronTention]

@@RaccoonBrigade Coupled with all that sodium.

[@brockferguson-tr8uj]

@@TyronTention So are they just not going to do 2 bears with tom and bert anytime soon??

[@BirdOfHermes8381]

​@@brockferguson-tr8uj Yes.

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Omg I was thinking the same shit 😂😂

[@Brakish33]

When I saw Tom and Chrissy are todays podcast I just about came out the closet.

[@KidBaklava504]

But like Chrissy Closet you get to the edge of the door frame and turn right back around!

[@monkeywang9972]

The same magical barrier that keeps vampires from entering your home uninvited keeps you in there no matter how many times you’re invited out

[@RandyJay-di6tq]

I almost came in the closet

[@dskhkddkw]

@@RandyJay-di6tq dammit you beat me off to it

[@thatDUDEfromMAINE]

"if you don't come out of the closet, can I atleast come in" - John Travolta

[@RPRsChannel]

*_With those glasses, Chrissy looks like a high-risk diamond dealer._*

[@op8726]

Haha “uncut” gems… and we’re not talking about the diamonds

[@GEORGE_WARD]

Chrissy Bling

[@Pacific_Norfweest]

This is how he wins.

[@jonlewis5063]

@@op8726 I think you mean Precious Gems

[@tashimsingh2961]

😊

[@SamGreen]

OMG does Chrissy come with the fire every episode he outdoes himself. Phenomenal stories!! (And glasses).

[@bsbgk683]

​@Handsome Griz calm down, bud. It's not 1990 anymore

[@finnthedogg4521]

​@Handsome Griz your jeans are so low and loose they're on the ground.

[@beach85]

i love him - such an amazing guest/comic

[@sambehrens]

Stright up, I had such a misguided surface level judgment towards Chrissy. Way way back to his first guest spot PMMT (pre-main mommy Tom) Chrissy flipped me around and made me fall I love within the first 3 minuets. I can’t Get enough of the guy and just when you think you have a read on the guy he says or references something that makes you rethink his mental health, and what’s Better, Chrissy’s story’s are pert-near accurate

[@SamGreen]

@@sambehrens dude the interview with Bart and him when they cried was epic... One of the best 2 bears

[@JenManning371]

“I bid you both farewell” is the most gangster way to go out 😂😂

[@sneezinhatch]

Chris looks like Bradley Cooper in hit and run with them 80s glasses 😂

[@DekkarJr]

Chrissy Coop and Runs XD

[@tannerburke13]

😂

[@georgiadog24]

Or War Dogs😆

[@sabrinamccartney6768]

😅😅i cant unsee this now..

[@Artist_Rafael]

Lmfaoooo

[@JDSharar13]

Having listened to and watched Tom for pretty much a decade now, it is absolutely incredible/almost unbelievable to hear the words “199” come out of his mouth. Tom you’re crushing it 💪💪💪

[@Givens94]

I love it when Tom lets the guest talk for an hour and a half uninterrupted.

[@8thlvlMage]

That's what 2 Bears is basically. The guest is usually Bert though.

[@evanmorgan3871]

Watch how happy Chrissy is at 32:46 when Tom refers to Chris's media guy as Lancelot right after Chris tell him his nickname.

[@theshrub]

Not enough people are named Lance these days. Back in the Medieval days, it seems folks were named Lance a lot.

[@ondrea3000]

Who's the host here?! Love how Chrissy is bringing Tommy's personality out of the closet. Haven't seen it in a while!😂 New show pitch, 2 bears 1 gay?❤

[@tonymarselle8812]

I would watch that

[@RolandSpecialSauce]

But they're all gay

[@ondrea3000]

​@@RolandSpecialSauce 2 bears one bottom?

[@himynameis3664]

2 bears 1 closet

[@dalelane1948]

well.... Bret looks like he's got about 3, maybe 4, weeks until his purple head explodes from blood pressure and self-importance, so let's go Chrissy in the cave!!!

[@BananaCawfee]

Chrissy Glasses and Tommy The Glove are a unstoppable duo.

[@beach85]

Chrissy is the bessst

[@derekadair5320]

As someone with depression and way too many friends who made their exit... suey wuey is 11/10 funny way to reference one of the darkest elements of my life. CRYING laughing.

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

It's only funny because it didn't actually happen..

[@Stephen_Eee]

People like Chris's dad make life amazing

[@davidosorio4249]

Oh god. Nothing will brighten my Monday like a Tommy Test and Chrissy Specs collab.

[@mattnara4917]

Tommy Test and Chrissy Intermittent 😂

[@clevermissfox]

Tommy Test and Chrissy Fast[s]

[@tomfurlong5384]

I love seeing this side of Tom. He’s so honest with his advice to other comics

[@chriskheir7688]

Chrissy is honestly peaking this year

[@cheribreazeale3372]

I love when Chris says, "Now this is where it gets unbelievable." Lol Dude, my mouth is already on the floor.

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Right?!? And it wasn't even that shocking of a part of the story lmao. It WAS crazy but that definitely wasn't the craziest twist in that fucking story 😂😂

[@SwordofZen]

A Nascar sponsorship??? Huge congrats to da bears💪🏼

[@Bittamin]

Better yet they’ve had this sponsorship consistently for a good bit now, and got to do a show live at the 500

[@Rosskles]

​@@Bittamin Brent Crystal's was like their spirit animal 😂

[@JOE-ROGAN-CLIPS.]

@@Rosskles it’s brett kirsner

[@standardBrick]

Bill Krishna

[@tykeboy16]

seriously though. I actually started laughing cause it seemed so absurd to me. Good on em tho

[@666hellviewlane]

Tom actually is way more interesting to me on his own doing interviews and specially since his confidence seems to be way higher

[@TheJoStephan]

This should have been 3 hours. Could listen to Chris talk forever. He is really articulate and tells great stories

[@WesleyB-Rook]

Every podcast Chris is on these days turns into a Chrissy support group where they give him a pep-talk and he decides not to kill himself that week 😂

[@ScorpionP2C]

Yeah not even Rogan could distract Chrissy from whining on his pod. Avoiding this one for that very reason.

[@Travvv94]

​@@ScorpionP2C you had to come here and comment tho 👍🏽

[@guestuser5852]

@@ScorpionP2C don’t lie

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Lol whaaaat

[@pt93music]

Chrissy “come out of the closet when your dad passes” Distefano

[@InglouriousBradsterd]

Whats the Over/Under on number of penises Chris has performed fellatio on? If it's 5...what do you take? I go OVER.

[@Chris-wd7wd]

He'll go by Christopher when that happens.

[@calvinlee8103]

Is Chris actually gay, or is it just a bit?

[@viking_nor]

​@@calvinlee8103 yes he is gay. He married and got kids just for a laugh

[@papa_pt]

​@@calvinlee8103 probably bi like most people

[@DanSullivansandullivan]

It's wild how funny Chrissy is without trying.

[@xxFreakifyxx]

Chrissy’s dad is actually the funniest person ever - all your stories about him are so memorable and after living in NYC for a year I think I can empathize with him and his behavior a little bit more

[@IRISH4LIFE5151]

Distefano brings the FIRE to every podcast he is on! His energy is contagious and is comedy is on FIRE!

[@apersonwiththoughts]

Chrissy really is chaos. I love it.

[@danidan9917]

Cause he's artistic babe

[@allysonheller9215]

I love the chemistry between Tom and Chrissy D. Always a good time.

[@WhereFunnyResides]

That suey wuey story is pure gold one of the best stories I’ve heard in a pod. What a roller coaster 🎢 😂

[@MrRPF66]

I’ve never seen anyone make Tom laugh more on a podcast

[@FinesseIL]

The gay guys story was one of the best stories I ever heard

[@jimjohnson8999]

***gay guy's

[@cynterria]

I heard it already on whiskey ginger and it was just as funny the second time.

[@Pretzils1031]

@@cynterria Which Ep was it on?

[@cynterria]

@@Pretzils1031 my bad I remembered wrong, i heard it on the YMH pod before this one, Tom told Chris to tell it again so Christina could hear it but that one came out first

[@Pretzils1031]

@@cynterria Can you link the episode?

[@Peskyjooba]

Really sad Nadav has decided to go to rehab instead of embracing his addiction. We missed so many good laugh tracks from him today

[@DailyDriftingVirtual]

There are only 2 types of gamblers, winners and quitters🤷‍♂️

[@datnip79]

I guess I’ve missed a few episodes…..is that real or a bit?

[@agentmueller]

@@datnip79It’s real. They hold episodes back for awhile, this was probably recorded 6 weeks ago and last drew episode nadav was back and they drop those pretty quick. Only YMH and 2b1c are held for longer because they tour and do shows. But yeah nadav went to rehab

[@agentmueller]

@@datnip79He showed his little shalom to kids on twitch and Tommy test had enough and sent him to studio G to get help

[@ambercottrell4961]

​@@agentmueller did nadav say that? Or is it just that he's back?

[@misun808]

Chris needs to get a show about his dad started ASAP! 😂 Chris DiStefano has the greatest life experiences and stories. Haha! This was one of the best episodes!

[@HawksNestYT]

The discussion of social media was EXTREMELY insightful. Almost ahead of it’s time insightful. Social media is a genuine pandemic of the brain, and it hits especially harder on those who’s “work” is tied to it. Your work is a large part of who you are. And social media is a drug. You never want a drug to be a large part of who you are.

[@ZakariaaAitouraies]

I wish I were as committed to anything as much as Chris is committed to those glasses

[@DekkarJr]

I love it XD

[@nothankyou9268]

He already lost them. So this must be old.

[@I_discovered_civilization]

They look great on him so keep hating

[@probablynot879]

@@nothankyou9268 Hes got a new pair

[@nathanshietze1005]

This episode made me laugh to a point where my stomach is literally upset now 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@douken_tv]

Tom's approach to fitness is how I've had to look at golf. Everyone is at their own level and pace, just gotta stay in it.

[@XionicAihara]

Chris is always such an amazing guest. I could listen to his stories for hours.

[@olivergutierrez4055]

Great combo. I Can’t lie Tom and Bobby Lee or Tom and Chris is something I don’t mind seeing more often

[@Dqualls187]

Tom def enjoying his "Its not a diet it's a lifestyle" part of losing weight.

[@stephanietaylor6248]

Hes waited a long time 😂

[@levigoldsteinbergowitz7391]

As a former fat guy its the only way. Food can be an addiction. To get healthy you no longer get to eat for fun and its purely about nutrition. No cheat days or any of that BS. Just like a drunk or heroine addict cand just drink or shoot up once in a while or they fall of the wagon. Its forever.

[@projecttsukuyomi9909]

*while stuffing down saka soufflé*

[@rustincole_w1339]

Tommy dressing for Easter early ... Looking like one of those marshmallow Peeps

[@bettyboops2105]

Haha I was thinking the same

[@Guns_Girls_Gays_N_Theys]

Read this in Uncle Joeys voice

[@thestraydog]

@@Guns_Girls_Gays_N_Theys Can you imagine a genuine Uncle Joey rant about Peeps?? "I don't fuckin' like Peeps! I don't want my marshmallows lookin' like baby chickens, jack! I don't care how many stars o' debt you got in ya!"

[@dondarko8329]

Tim's laugh at 1:09:50 added years to my life 😂

[@reaganvalentino9867]

I love when Chris talks about his dad, it's just so relatable. Like my grandpa was exactly like that... might just be an old man Italian thing but it's just so nice for me idk😂 so happy for him as well, he's clearly on such a good path with his mental health! Makes me so happy so see

[@illuminahde]

The Suey Wuey story is incredible.

[@chefhernjr4349]

Love seeing Tom chuckle so much!

[@TheMissiIe]

I'm so thankful I found Chrisy's stand-up last week. He's genuinely top 5 funniest people on the planet

[@hhhhhh-yz4oq]

hands down best bears episode by far

[@anthonyzullo]

I fell for chrissys comedy the firdt time I saw him doing sets before covid. Was super happy for his success. Covid really brought up a lot of comedians.

[@No5elfCTRL]

Gotta love Chrissy. Gonna be a good day

[@VirginiaWolf88]

I love Chris’s voice. So awesome. Great show. Thank you YMH studios.

[@gabrieltello3905]

The story with the 2 gay guys was funny AF 😂

[@jeramiahmcmahon9057]

Hope Nadav is doing well. I really respect that he is letting everyone be open about the rehab. He seems like such a genuine dude. Can't wait to hear him laughing his ass off again.

[@OGxSPARKY]

Amen to that bro💪🏼

[@jonodunn2592]

😂 it’s a bit ! Do you know any Jews with a gambling addiction😂😂😂

[@OGxSPARKY]

@@jonodunn2592 lol didn't even know he was Jew 😂 we'll see about that though 👀😂

[@jonodunn2592]

@@OGxSPARKY really? Tom teases him about it all the time the “Js”

[@pizzaninja.]

Aces wild

[@bryan_turner]

Chris is such a great podcast guest.

[@scottmcnaughton539]

the conversations these two have when they get together are amazing!

[@Stewpa2000]

Chrissy is born to do stand-up and podcasts.

[@rapfreak7797]

Tommy’s vinyl selection this week is on point!

[@turtleyawesomeglass]

Tom absolutely was one of my Inspirations for me loosing 60lbs recently. Thank you Tom !!!!

[@tambob82]

Tommy and Chrissy blowin' eachother for 90 minutes is the support we all need from our friends!

[@mistyk1design]

Chrissy always comin with the Heat

[@kennethbandera3195]

That story telling was next level Chrissy chaos is AMAZING

[@cloudbloom]

Few things make me as happy as seeing someone like Chrissy Come-up succeed and have a tight group of family and friends. Back in the guy code days is when I first saw him and he was my favorite guest on that show (along with Soder, shoutout to em) and it's been awesome following his career and podcasts just get better and better🤌🤌🤌

[@clamsoup]

I've been looking forward to this all day. Chris has absolutely conquered with energy, wit, and wry. Christories is absolutely hilarious. Tom touring south and central America and leaving his watches behind....... Smart man.

[@BrittneyBritt17]

Chrissy and Tommy ❤ love this one!

[@brittanysteven4978]

Chrissy + Tommy = magic

[@weeba06]

love Chris and seeing more people love him too!!!!!

[@Dhoehn24]

Saw Chris in a small club in Long Island. Was absolutely hysterical. So happy for his success.

[@bisqueknife]

I love Chrissy D, he is a treasure. So glad Tommy Buns had this chance to shoot the breeze with him.

[@bryanwilkens]

We need to get Chrissy Dahms a pinky ring.

[@luismooney3715]

I love this epinsode! I love that you guys shared about the dips that are totally normal about fitness journeys! I’m coming out of my two year slump. Thank you for showing how it’s very attainable with consistency

[@Ksheff3232]

This was for sure one of the best episodes of two bears

[@jimmy_mcneilus]

At the climax of the Suey Wuey story I was really hoping Chris would hit him with the, "This has been Hey Babe!"

[@AmandaBurns14]

😂 I was waiting for a Bloom Cafe drop too

[@customermann]

Just got fired this morning but I have this to watch n bring my spirits up appreciate it

[@Ivoryeyes]

Sometimes it’s nice to get fired

[@johnsteve1789]

They can't fire the damn CUSTOMER

[@m.a.b.4104]

'Suey Wuey' such a Chris saying 😂😂

[@Leddy0222]

Chrissy Chaos, that was the most riveting three some story I’ve ever heard. Damn, I’ve got goose bumps.

[@seandawson5899]

Chris glasses look like something you would have to inherit from an Italian uncle

[@austinhall485]

His name was Jeffery

[@DekkarJr]

hahah yeah. A LOT of blood has been sprayed against those glasses

[@jamesgallogley1024]

Crazy that Bert can do every podcast but his own

[@angeliquew69]

Pissing my pants😂😂😂😂

[@craigrecko4642]

The Suey Wuey story was phenomenal!

[@MrGMT1992]

I'm so happy for Chris. Best stories ever. The AP is FIRE. Congrats.

[@voicesofdetroit]

The funny bit about the glasses is they’re already lost and vamoose.

[@hollys0661]

Chris losing the glasses before this even airs, is hilarious to me 😂

[@kfitzman]

That’s was great, thanks. I really needed this today.

[@afinemessband7162]

Chris is a great guest! good times

[@-KYUSS-]

Jesus Christ… that suey wuey story had me crying 😂

[@stokkejanraggio9091]

Chrissy Dahmer is something we all needed

[@todrobinson3733]

Love the new 2 bears format with Tom and Chris

[@andyparsley3744]

Love all the classic hip hop albums in the background.

[@3K4peikos]

More like two babes one cave

[@crumbwork]

Love the awkward 15 seconds after 'I like all white neighborhoods... I like knowing who my neighbors are...' and Chrissy switching in his seat sweating lol. Merica 🏍🏁

[@danyawakeup5935]

Chris is so awesome with his stories! Love the chaos!

[@NightHawkExpress]

Mad respect for coming correct with the Garth Gift 👌

[@angelwerts99]

Chris knows how to listen and Tom can actually talk. What a difference.

[@melissaeager3410]

I'm so stoked to have Chrissy back!! Thanks Tim!

[@MP-qq7cl]

If Chrissy D is on, I hit play every time. The hotter he gets, the more humble he is. The funnier he is, the greater perspective he has. I'm glad both him and Tom can bond over their healthy mind & body journey. It's so wholesome.

[@jesserules4]

Best 2b1c in a long time

[@Metcalfe99]

Berts looking well for once with the razzle dazzle glasses

[@InspectahReese]

He got on that liver king cycle and working out with David Goggins it’s pretty impressive

[@jimjohnson8999]

Who is Bert?