CHRISTMAS WITH FAMILY & HONEST THOUGHTS | Toxic Tears Vlog

Hello lovelies - HAPPY NEW YEAR! I thought I'd try to vlog a little over the holidays and have a little chat with you guys reflecting on things for the new year.
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[@garbargecanjan728]

That vegetable vending machine is so cool. Wish we had something like that in America.

[@Rachel-bf5us]

I know right they look like fun. I know that sounds stupid but they do

[@michellerhodes5477]

That is super cool. I definitely wish we had something like that in America. I live in a rural area and needing just a couple things is a production. We do have a tiny grocery store in the main town abput 15 min away but they don't have much and unfortunately the produce isn't great usually. Plus they close early af. So we have to either wait or drive 40 minutes away. We try to think of most contingencies for the week when we do our weekly shopping and stop everywhere in one day since we're already out. It's exhausting lol. A vending machine in the middle of nowhere would me amazing.

[@maijacriner-harrison5161]

Lol I was thinking the same thing!

[@hankypanda]

Same! It would be a wonderful way to distribute farmer’s market goods/community sustainable agriculture boxes. Why don’t we have that? :( going shopping for fresh food is such an ordeal here and farmers markets/CSA box only come once a week... a vending machine if only a few days a week would be GREAT.

[@BellaClarie]

Omg this would be soooo useful.

[@Gooberpotomous]

The day you were on sensory overload and you got Starbucks, it seemed like the universe was telling you it loved you: a rainbow, nice weather, happy mistake at Starbucks, the kind driver ☺️

[@ToxicTears]

That’s so cute 😭

[@lloyd4956]

@@ToxicTears I know. The universe 🌌 gave you a hug 🤗 lool. I know how sensory overload feels like. Especially, around family and Christmas. I grew up Nation of Islam and later Jehovah Witness. So I never really celebrated Christmas or really cared about relatives that didn't share our lifestyle lol. Plus, my family was military. We moved around. So idk I was never socialable lool. And have no clue how act around relatives that I just don't truly know.

[@sasukesAniki]

This is the first time I think you’ve shown your dad! Your parents are so sweet and it’s lovely seeing you all together in your own home and you can just enjoy each other without someone tainting it! Much love!

[@danaek4896]

I really adore this long-form vlog content. It feels very nostalgic to old youtube and blog content. It's something I have sorely missed and there are still some people who still update old blogs I have followed since 2006! So this is me giving *•~encouragement~•* for more videos like this! So proud of you Kaya and it's truly incredible to see how much you have grown and it's such a privilege to be able to bear witness to you doing what you love as well as trying new things. Thank you for everything you do. 🖤

[@ToxicTears]

Thank you! I’ve really been missing the old style vlogs lately too! Sometimes it’s fun to make a more edited Vlog with fancy bits and music and stuff but other times I really enjoy the simplicity and realness of this kinda style, you don’t see it much anymore but it was like my favourite era of KZbin!

[@AnnieNorthman89]

Your parents are so wholesome and sweet! Glad you had a great time with your family 😊

[@shinyespurrz]

I’m so happy that you’re happier and feeling better ❤ I’ll be honest I watched you for so long even while I was in my own domestic abuse relationship, after that break up I couldn’t watch anymore because your ex gave me that vibe- it broke my heart but his energy was so bleh. I am so glad I can watch you live and thrive again. I know you’re gonna do great things because you’re a great person ❤ I’m so excited for this year

[@ToxicTears]

Honestly I totally get what you mean. I’ve been watching loads of random vlogs on KZbin lately and every now and again there’ll be a girl who’s boyfriend is just like… low key mean and trying to act too cool in the videos and I immediately get super bad vibes, instantly full of rage 😂 Thank you!❤️

[@RoseRedRoseWhite]

After worrying about mom from afar, it's lovely to hear her voice and know she's all right along with you as well. I hope this Christmas was especially magical for all of you and restful.

[@conniedurvin6395]

I'm so happy you're feeling so positive! God knows you've earned it. You may lose a few subscribers if you add different kinds of content, but i think most of us are here because we really like YOU - the content is really kind of secondary. I'm here for you, Sweet Pea!

[@conniedurvin6395]

I love this chatty ride-along, love that you're close to your family, love that you're kind and polite to strangers - I just love YOU! Congrats, too, your your host gig in March! 💜

[@blue_anime_cat2526]

Guess i can speak for a lot of us: As long as we can see you're enjoying what you do, we will stay subscribed! 🐾meow🐾

[@dariabjorn]

I just love this old school style vlog! It’s not too shiny and cinematic, but real and cozy. Thank you, Kaya! 🖤

[@NadineMiller1974]

YES Kaya is smiling and vlogging!!! Love that you have a home to share Christmas with your parents🤗 I absolutely love brussel sprouts yummy

[@sejbomb]

I hope others who are going through a painful time can see that in just even a year things can be different in a good way.

[@BellaClarie]

yaaas. It gets better guys!!! Also I'm glad we've seen her journey in self healing as inspiration 😊

[@Marina9417SP]

I love vlogs like this one, it feels nostalgic to me for some reason.

[@ashebelle]

I love watching you and your friends' silly shenanigans on IG stories so YES to putting it up on KZbin! My lil' group of friends and I have such hectic schedules, we go months without seeing one another in person so I feel like I get to live a little vicariously through y'all. 😊

[@Gwenx]

So cute and wholesome ❤️ Sebastian wanting to join dinner was super cute haha! Hope everyone is doing good after the holidays ❤️

[@hollypierce3076]

Wow I think that's the first time you have shown your dad in a very very long time, what a handsome lad! Your mum is so sweet as well!! Your nanny is adorable too!

[@cathrineruthborgersen2941]

More vlogs? A big 👍 and hope we see much more of this. 🖤 Have a great day beautiful human! 🖤

[@emberrene9425]

First off, I really liked the fact that you're vlogging more and I like coming along on little adventures with you, even if it's stuff you might think is mundane. Secondly, thank you for casually talking about your ADHD symptoms like forgetting, and hyperfixations, and sensory issues. I know it's kind of weird to mention, but I navigate my life around those things as well and it's encouraging to see someone I've been watching and looking up to for nearly ten years dealing with those same things. I don't know how it is in other countries, but in the United States, ADHD isn't really taken seriously, even though those symptoms really affect people and it should be taken seriously. So I find that most of the time I mask my ADHD rather than talking about it because once it's out, people treat you differently and your value to them changes. But it was a relief to see you getting out and doing stuff, even though sometimes the struggle was real, and living with ADHD. When you'd mention something, I found myself going: "Yes! Someone gets it! Thank you!" I don't mean to put you on a pedestal, but I want you to know that you're helping.

[@theseventh5204]

Just do what makes you happy, live and create! I'm here for anything you wish to express. Happy New year sweetie.🖤

[@situacioncaprichosa]

TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY AND WE HAVE NEW VIDEO! SO HAPPY ABOUT IT! we love u Kaya, have a wonderful 2023

[@cyndaquilmf]

Happy birthday 🎂

[@ToxicTears]

Happy Birthday!

[@Gooberpotomous]

Happy birthday!!

[@jojocandy2025]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ♡♡♡

[@marugochan131]

Also I love that you're taking 2023 as a confidence boost for whatever projects you have in the future. It's time you get your thunder back for sure.

[@BlossomingVoid13]

Clips of random adventures of Kaya and friends! Yes please, sounds like a chaotic, good time.

[@daughtermars___]

aww Sebastian joining for Christmas dinner lol 💚 what a goblin. Loved this vlog, ty!

[@Thomas_of_the_forest]

Honestly Kaya, I think anyone who is already subscribed to you is subscribed for the delightful person you are, and I personally can't imagine a massive drop, if any if the content changes! Interested to see what you add to the channel!

[@ShadowWalker1930]

I'm so happy you freed yourself of he who shall no be named. You deserve nothing but happiness❤️

[@SerenityVonSavage]

Yeah! 2023 shall be the year of getting our confidence back! X

[@amurphy61497]

I absolutely LOVE it when you vlog!! Your personality is so bubbly and you make me feel better about myself because I am just as scattered in my speaking and thoughts. I feel like someone else understand me. Please please please keep it up I will be here i promise!!! Sending you happy thoughts and please always be yourself that's what I love!!

[@astoldbycrozzie1525]

Dont worry Kaya, the right people won't unsubscribe if you try new things ánd it will pull in new subs! I love that you let us into the dark times you went through last year but never doubt that we WANT to see you happy. Whether that means gardening or dancing in your kitchen with Sebastian, ... we want to see you happy. 🥳

[@AlexisLenzini]

I feel like watching you and the friends silly drunk would be hilarious 😂

[@nekokikogaming3530]

That little bit at the end when you mentioned how much things changed for you in one year is very inspiring. 2022 was hell for me and going into 2023 isn't feeling much better but hearing how much better you are feeling, gives me hope ♥. I am so happy to see you living your best life and being happy and getting yourself back ♥ ♥ ♥

[@kamileon9958]

I want to live vicariously through you and watch your shenanigans with your friends. Since I have lack thereof. Please do more vlogs and just more content in general. Your videos always make me so happy

[@kittyfloof767]

I loved this video so much! It was nice to see you with your family and you being so happy! I kind of understand the fear of people not supporting you because you're in a better place but we're here for you & we love you kaya 💕

[@xTommyboy]

You definitely look happier as time goes by and I am so so happy for you. You deserve the best because you are an amazing person. For the content part, I understand that it is a stressor, but people who follow and support you all those years are going to love you and your videos no matter what. We love being with you and by your side, no matter what. XX

[@muchomangotangos]

There's a vending machine for groceries?! What?! That's so neat! I don't like going to the grocery store either.

[@opalescenttides5647]

Please do more vlogs when you’re able to Kaya! Even super casual ones like this are super entertaining to watch, especially while doing things around the house (I’m currently packing mine up as we speak) and they make it feel like we’re catching up with a friend. This was delightful! 🖤

[@madbitchsam123]

Omg your parents and nanny are awesome

[@festivalkyrie]

Your New Year's Eve makeup is SO GORGEOUS!!!! I just SO HYPED seeing your video, like incredibly great to see you happy 🖤✨

[@jessiejh85]

I love that your parents get along and you can spend time with both of them together! That's all too uncommon these days. They're also both precious and adorable so I can see where you get it from :)

[@destotim326]

You are going to get back into the swing of this no problem! It’s good to see you out and about doing stuffs and spending time with friends and family. I wish you a stress free new year 💜

[@schewitt]

Northern Irish parents are truly a joy. 90s home video vibes of "OH LOOK A CAMERA YEEEOOO" 10/10 honestly.

[@m3dusv]

That vending machine is so dope !! I’m from cali so we don’t have anything like that lol

[@almalovato7138]

I love this style of vlog! It’s so much like having a close friend FaceTime you, I had this video playing as I was cleaning my house and it was comforting. I would love to see the messy raw footage of you just socializing with friends.

[@aezrii]

I love this! You're family is so cute!!! As an American I love all the Irish mumblings of your grandmother 😆 so fun!

[@JoinJamiesJourney]

Awe time after time is my mum's favourite song she passed two years ago 😢 hope you're getting better and feeling better.

[@HoneyBats]

Everyone got sick for Christmas! My friends and I haven’t even seen each other yet because all our households one by one got the corvid so we were all laid up and now that we’re better everyone has work and responsibilities. I have a tiny pile of presents and cookies waiting until we can get together so I understand the plans issues. Love this vlog and I especially love seeing you have fun and live life. You inspire me so much and hope you have an amazing 2023💜🖤💜

[@bluedawn311]

Yes, please post the video of you and your friends if you haven't already. I'm loving your vlogs and so glad that you feel motivated with your work and being happy. You deserve to be happy and protect it with all you've got! I'm definitely sticking with you all the way. 🥰

[@Mooseham]

Really enjoyed this chill style update vlog!!! It was motivating me to work for some reason 😂 the vending machine was so cool!!

[@Mooseham]

Also if it helps! I branched out loads with my business last year and made stuff I really wanted to make and do and it was terrifying at first but it's gone really well! Power to ya 💪💪💪

[@baduhenna.]

I love the chaos of this vlog. All kinds of different things. My brain is pleased. I laughed when you looked like a pretty Voldemort because of the lights.

[@Seraphine368]

I always say, produce the content you want to do, not what you think your subscribers will want. YT is for you, and the subscribers are a perk. I guarantee, most of us will stick around no matter what.

[@silkcatgirl3597]

Big fan of vlogs and loved this one, here for anything you put out and it's so good to see you happier 🥰

[@joolienyan]

Whoa! I love the type of grocery shopping that was available for you guys over there. It makes things so much easier 🤔😮😮

[@kyliebee1029]

True confession - I used to follow your ex, but I’ve never hit unsubscribe so fast in my life once I watched his disgusting video. I want to tell you, as a random person on the internet, that you’re one hell of a fighter and you should be so proud of yourself for the hell you’ve been through. I applaud your honesty, vulnerability and the CLASSINESS you continued to show us through all the nasty ups and down. You’ll never figure it all out but I can assure you it’ll all make sense soon. I love your videos and I can’t say how sweet I think you are! ❤

[@angelacaeiramartin3867]

This year, I think, your gonna fly to new heights and be brilliant as ever. I bet your confidence will soar too, along with your happiness. Xxx

[@amyschat5711]

I fucking love this!! Keep vlogging like this it’s so fun 🥰 the video length , the contents and your vibe I love it 🥰

[@BoredSoprano]

Loved this, the long chatty videos are really comforting

[@rockymaxwell]

I love this style of video. It feels like family videos and it's giving me nostalgia.

[@KitsuneAdorable]

3:00 But Mom! I want the foods! I couldn’t resist that face! 🐱 Our Norwegian kitty loved turkey during Christmas etc. She loved the gravy too!

[@sarahbenz007]

I absolutely love this content please do more it's really nice to see you doing better and see you doing you. Even if your driving, cooking, chatting, petting your cute kitty (lol not meant to be dirty) makeup, showing your cool clothes, anything. You inspire me to want to do a Vlog as well. Best wishes to you fron this Canadian chick. ✌🏻🥰🤗

[@marigonemad92]

i got excited to see the cat! Great to see you getting along! xx

[@youinspiremyinnerserialkiller]

Missed your vlogs. So glad your getting g back into it. I wana see you finally enjoy your freedom. ❤

[@alexanderroberts5381]

You're never alone always talk someone, somewhere has been there, sounds like you made a lot of progress,good job keep it up,u are loved,blessed be

[@satanica2358]

I found this video to be rather cozy. I want to see what other fun ideas you have in store for us.

[@JacksonFamilyVlogs]

I’m 4 minutes in and this is already one of my favorite videos you’ve ever posted! Your family is SO cute! Lol your mother made me laugh with her new tattoo. As an Eminem fan, I very much approve lol

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

I'm not a big vlog person but one of the few I do watch are "being the elite" which os a vlog by a couple of wrestlers who are brothers and it's pretty flipping hilarious. They do skits and everything with their friends and show off some of what goes on behind the scenes in All Elite Wrestling. So maybe that can give you some inspiration. Plus you don't havw to be a wrestling fan to enjoy it. And hey if these guys feel comfortable vlogging in front of THOUSANDS of ppl it might make you feel more comfortable vlogging your everyday life. :)

[@isleenclark]

I would love to see you cook,and a plant introduction! Lol, I'm sure you named them all?! I know I do🥰🥰🥰

[@carmel-hayes]

I personally would love to see the vlog of you and your freinds goofing off! It seems fun

[@cockroaches]

this vlog was so fun and calming to watch! would love more casual chatty vlogs like this in the future, i think they'd be lovely

[@elizabethpink]

So glad to see and hear you perking up, Kaya luv! As soon as I’m in a position to contribute to your Patreon I surely will! In the meanwhile, I’m always happy to watch your vids and annoy you on IG. 😉🥰

[@ropolito1980]

Kya your parents are so awesome! Merry Christmas!!!!! Let’s have a great year!!!!! 😘

[@nikkisissens6972]

True subscribers and friends love you for who you are and will never leave you. Have faith in what you do and your future goals. Brilliant vlog and so glad you're feeling better xx

[@waterwitch8902]

I love the vending machine, what a great and convenient idea. I for one enjoyed the vlog, it was a just come along kind of vlog. Your upgrade and the rainbow are good omens. Stay healthy, happy and safe always. Blessed be.

[@8Frostie]

Eating 12 grapes is a Spanish tradition, as well as wearing red underwear :D for some reason this year has been a tiktok thing haha but we do that every year. You are supposed to eat a grape with each of the twelve clock bell strikes at midnight of December 31. Each grape and clock bell strike represents each of the coming twelve months :)

[@JoannaStrange]

This video was great. I LOVE vlogs, defo encourage more of them. And omg the veggie vending machine?! Never seen on before, so cool! Xxx

[@juliebuckingham578]

You've been through such a shit storm, so pleased you're feeling better about life ! 💕💕

[@AlexisHollingsworth]

You should try whatever content you’re interested in. I️ can’t speak for everyone, but I️ watch for YOU. You and your personality and your interests are what keep me interested in your content. I’d love to see anything you feel like working on.

[@heathermacdonald9736]

Have to say you are my favourite you tuber. You seems like such a genuine person Which is very rare in today's society. I look forward to your videos.

[@jessiewhitman8688]

Now, I know how you got so sweet. Your parents seem really sweet and chill. Love the video.

[@chrisstone3455]

Farm vending machine bloody marvellous idea, I’d love to do that

[@debbiedillon8563]

Drunken Shennanigans from Spoons would be fabulous... with their trippy carpets!

[@katiecakanic]

Your parents are the cutest! Love seeing Grandma as well.

[@AradiaCherry]

Love that vending machine. I came across one like that here in Scotland, but it was just for locally farmed potatoes 🤣🥔

[@rebeccacoddington4402]

Girl you're so beautiful in so many ways. Everyone has their ups and downs Its human, there's nothing wrong with it, so don't ever blame yourself for things you struggle with. Your ex had a dime and he went to a nickel, and you'll make somebody very happy one day & they will make you happy like you deserve.

[@mollymiller3720]

May yours and everyone else's 2023 be better than what came before because we all deserve it 🙌

[@raquelvalenzuela361]

If you want to tape parts of your car and spray it, try plasti dip instead of paint, you don't have to sand anything and if you mess up you can just peel it off ♥

[@bblee7344]

I always wondered what your dad looked like! This video is sooo cute. Also it blows my mind that your parents have such thick accents (to my Aussie ears) and you sound so neutral! 😂

[@ToxicTears]

Hahaha yeah people (who are not from here) always comment on how Irish I sound and I’m like …I really don’t in comparison to most people here!😂 Meanwhile people who are from here think I’m American, while Americans very much do not lmao. Accents are weird.

[@katerinastrange1085]

If your adding stuff you like back, I absolutely love the plant music!!!! Lol

[@JayMoore-ik8ji]

of herbs and altars is another goth youtuber your collab video is what we all need much love

[@robynwroot2460]

I'm in Tennessee in the US and I had to run and show my husband when the vending machine part came up. Those are awesome and the US definitely doesn't have those. 💕

[@lunarseraphim88]

I hope we get some spooky cooking/ baking videos soon and yes enjoy the vlogs 🖤

[@BellaClarie]

Kaya!!! I Loved this!!! it was different from your usual content 😊 I'm hoping to visit Ireland next year from TX but I'm going to be in Cork. Since that's where my guy lives. I hope it's nice out there 😳 Also I miss your baking videos. I thought this was their place but then I realized they went over to yours, holy shi* your kitchen is cozy and your cooking looks good 👀 ....

[@centurycountess4949]

this was lovely Kaya, thank you for sharing with us. and happy belated new year!

[@jessegothmidnightheart]

Can't wait for you to vlog more

[@Magickalmarketarts88]

Excited for more of the content that makes you happy and creative! It's great to see. Thank you, Kaya!

[@allisondrummond951]

Hi kaya I see alot of myself in you in my younger days I'm 53 now I've been through similar experiences as you keep going don't give up can't wait for see your new content

[@ashleepost2363]

Don’t put energy into the self doubt it gives it power you do you be positive and do what’s fun for yourself we are just along for the ride much love

[@trincrymsyn6383]

Hoping 2023 is much better for you 🌟💖 I totally understand being afraid to be happy , it feels like 🧐 what's gonna happen 🧐. Can't wait to watch all your adventures! And hopefully you can meet up w friends soon! Adult friends are so hard to schedule ! You gotta make a appointment 🤣🤣lol!

[@thesouthafrican1]

I live in England why have I never seen a vegetable vending machine! Lol I want one, our town is small and would come in handy to have this after our Tesco has closed

[@nightbyrd2u]

Everything's better from a vending machine! Love it.

[@SolC1989]

I'm super excited for more vlogs. I'm enjoying this one and I think you can do it! You've been building yourself up confidence wise and this would be amazing both for you and your channel! 🖤