7 Tips from THE ADDAMS FAMILY to Keep Your Marriage Alive

Morticia and Gomez might be obsessed with death, but they keep their romance very much alive!
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright explain how Morticia and Gomez's relationship in the 1990's Barry Sonnenfeld version of The Addams Family illustrates the principles from John Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. They talk about the commitment and priority they place on their relationship, the brilliant comedy and acting from Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston, and what we can learn from all of it.
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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

[@deeya]

"How long has it been since we waltzed?" "Oh, Gomez...hours." That's love.

[@tealablu3759]

Honestly! And both sound so genuine

[@louera]

One of my preferences in a partner is knowing how to dance and enjoying it. It's just a nice activity to do together, not only for health, but also because it's a big turn on as well haha. Also, I think dancing is all about just enjoying being in your body, being in the present with your partner, laughing off mistakes together, and being carefree/not caring about how others could perceive the way you dance.

[@doloreslehmann8628]

Always loved this scene. My husband and I got together as a dancing couple, so it resonates.

[@preciousypenguino]

I say that line almost weekly just to myself bc I don't have a Gomez! 😆

[@yeebler]

@@itsjustlarkspur1750 Stop it so did I lmao

[@aeh5109]

My favorite line is: "Don't torture yourself Gomez, that's my job"

[@thomaskositzki9424]

Same. ;)

[@madeegaindraws]

Kinky~

[@clunkyinc.5156]

Masochism Tango my friend.

[@DragonGoddess18]

That line always makes me laugh

[@monabohamad2242]

sorry it's whose job to torture who?

[@littleblackcar]

The Addams family: Happily-married, faithful parents; parents who support their children's interests; intergenerational household without resentment; treats employees like family; happy extended family; kids who play together (more or less) constructively . . . I think this might literally be the most functional fictional family I've ever seen in a movie.

[@deathwish-fs1ib]

Don't forget that they're ridiculously rich but never flaunt their wealth outside of using it to help others and are instantly accepting of pretty much everyone, despite how strange they find 'normal' people. Everyone could stand to be more like the Addams Family.

[@JazzyWaffles]

@@deathwish-fs1ib In the old TV show, their taxes get lowered so Gomez runs for office to raise his own taxes! The Addams are very based.

[@blackangel163]

In second place is the Simpsons.

[@DragonKnightJin]

@@JazzyWaffles Having never seen the old tv show or read the comics... That sounds like an INCREDIBLY Gomez thing to do. "What? Lower taxes? Not if I have anything to say about that!" *Runs for office to fix that shit*

[@FEARNOTBlue3778]

and Wednesday completely ruined that

[@ngmeylan]

I also really like how, when the family is kicked out of their home and Gomez becomes completely depressed, Morticia is not disappointed in him that he is momentarily unable to care for his family, instead she tries to take on a job and give him some space and when things don't improve, she doesn't expect Gomez to 'man up' and get the house back, she tries to plea with Fester herself

[@yvonnethompson844]

i'm with her on the colors in the house though, seriously, Pastelles hurt.

[@Chefgrlangel]

@@yvonnethompson844 it was the execution of said pastels. Debbie used baby pink for evil and that’s ok but the bar scene, the anniversary gift/bomb… ugh it’s the wasted potential for me. She could’ve been an iconic Aadams but she just missed the mark by not being about the family, for shame… SHAME!!!

[@yvonnethompson844]

The line, specifically states pastelles. And the set looked horrendous. Morticia says she can look past the treachery, and manipulation, and even ripping Fester away.

[@KennieDoll]

@@yvonnethompson844 From what I’ve learned painting with pastels costs less so Morticia was actually more so calling her cheap and tacky😭😭

[@yvonnethompson844]

@@KennieDoll hmmm... i think it depends on the paint quality, not color. or brands, maybe, because vanta black is definitively out of this artist's pricing, and the types vary in price as well, as if it's synthetic color, or, from natural dies.... 🤔 interior paints are generally latex based any more

[@AliAngelpie]

I love the Addams Family because they're creepy and they're kooky, but they're not toxic. They love each other

[@Valdagast]

This is what Edward's and Bella's relationship should have been.

[@tiananesbitt7156]

They performed so well together!

[@AliAngelpie]

@@Valdagast Agreed

[@user-zh4vo1kw1z]

@@tiananesbitt7156 this movie was lightning in a bottle, especially when it came to casting. Each actor was almost designed from the atom up to play these itterations of these characters.

[@Nicamon]

@@AliAngelpie (Meanwhile Wedensday and Pugsley try to kill each other.🖤🖤)

[@micaelaonofre311]

I love how the Addams family is supposed to be the opposite of the nuclear family ideal, and that means that the husband and wife are crazy in love with each other instead of hating each other

[@Lucy666Fernandez]

Kind of sad that showing affection and support for each other without shame or irony was and sometimes still is considered abnormal.

[@caitlin329]

That's not the premise of the Addams family, though. The whole point is that they actually fulfill the ideal in many ways -happy husband and wife, two kids, close to their extended family, nice house etc. They just do it whilst looking spooky and enjoying the macabre. I suppose for this particular 90s adaptation it had more that effect, but that's more just a sad reflection of where sitcoms as a genre had had to get to by that point. The 'nuclear family' ideal was actually pretty dead by the 90s.

[@giboi03]

@@caitlin329 I'd say the Addams family was challenging/subverting the "perfect family" ideals. Like, they may be spooky, they may be standout, they may be extremely kinky and gore-y in public--but they have the healthiest relationship dynamics out of all the families in their neighborhood, who have to remain perfect, one-note, and quiet about their problems for the sake of following status quo.

[@caitlin329]

@@giboi03 It was originally a comic based on the joke of a seemingly 'weird' family actually being really nice and 'normal'. I think that the 90s films definitely started to go more in the direction you're describing, but it still doesn't quite fit. They do fulfill most ideals, just in their own way, and that's where the comedy comes from. The sequel maybe goes more into it? But then one could argue that's more about specifically challenging white suburban American culture as a whole, more than it is specifically about the family aspects.

[@giboi03]

@@caitlin329 Yeah, suburban's what I was thinking. I just wasn't sure whether to use that word specifically or not, since it's been too long since I watched videos about it.

[@bowdencable7094]

Morticia fully communicates, she just does it in French, which he understands. She says, The sun, "he pierces me like a dagger," and Gomez accepts the duel.

[@sabrina-wq4uu]

He becomes her champion to slay all of her enemies for her.

[@fernandocabette6050]

@@sabrina-wq4uu Including, but not limited to taking on the sun it self for her.

[@erenjaeger0794]

Bro picked a fight with a god 💀💀💀

[@markusallen6818]

One small detail I like is how when the grandma is suggesting what might be troubling gomez and suggests "adultery?" Morticia responds "oh, no" the way she says it she knows that definitely isn't it she knows their relationship is too solid for that to even be a possibility

[@btsarmyforever3816]

I agree. You can tell by the way your spouse treats you if they love you are not. And it's not by buying stuff for you, but rather doing things for you, being there for you, prioritizing the family. Just a quick call away etc. It would be a GREAT GIFT to have a relationship like Morticia and Gomez.

[@sarahpersson5662]

Ya she just answers and moves on. There’s no freak out or panic just matter of fact

[@pecevearancemolale5584]

She put him under a love spell 😭

[@georgewilliamsiii4677]

​@pecevearancemolale5584 They both used love spells.. from grandma so they were a Lil effed up. But now they just love each other to.. well.. death lol

[@roguejester4986]

Plus why would he? Morticia is a goldmine of delight.

[@m.h.7364]

Gomez isn't "en guarding" the blinds, he says "En garde Monsieur Soleil".... He's directly challenging *the Sun*

[@inoli3164]

challenging the sun makes me think of Dark Souls 😂

[@katiearbuckle9017]

Morticia's need makes sense though. If you wake up and the Sun is rising through whatever curtain you have. And it rudely wakes you from a Good Dream or even minimal sleep. It doesn't help your mood at all. And if it's Before you had your coffee...forget it.

[@MagpieRat]

Ladies, get you a man who'll duel the sun for you.

[@maem7462]

I love that. He’s like I’ll fight the sun for my wife

[@sonorasgirl]

@@MagpieRat 😂😂😂 definitely relationship goals

[@pigpjs]

I love how when the family is evicted and Gomez is depressed, Morticia seeks a job. She doesn't resent her husband. She knows he is struggling and will do what she needs to support the family and give her husband time to process.

[@alwayslookingup70]

I also love before she goes to confront fester she looks at everyone in her family, how much she loves them and she’s like nope this won’t do and she starts walking to handle it soooo ethereally. I just love the adams movies so much lol

[@janaterbio8010]

I also love that one scene in particular, when getting the job at a kindergarten, which honestly is so wholesome and shows how motherly and nurturing at heart Morticia is, she and the director talked about their husbands. Rather than following the director with saying how much of a bum their marriage partner is, Morticia just swoons and expresses her adoration for Gomez despite being a bum/daydreamer. Even in a time when he is miserable, she still loves him, their family very much. I like it so much, just goes to show how strong their bond with each other is

[@alwayslookingup70]

@@janaterbio8010 it really is, i never really noticed how much of the tv shows or movies joke about marriage being miserable and hating their spouse etc. The addams family was so refreshing to go way the other way with it.

[@TheGrifhinx]

Without which we would have never been gifted an iconic scene like the daycare storytime

[@6rebelangel]

@@alwayslookingup70 It's actually hard not to notice that in media now. It's honestly really exhausting, like Family Guy and sometimes the Simpsons. FG started out with Lois and Peter being quirky and weird together but they loved each other and liked their odd antics- which was nice. But now they almost only tolerate each other and are so unhealthy now that it's vey cumbersome to watch. I don't mind unconventional lifestyles, but I honestly miss watching healthy marriages and family relationships. We already have enough of toxic relationships in real life, we don't need to see more of it on tv :/

[@marahbaker8615]

In my marriage, I'm definitely the Gomez. Even after 14 years, I hit on my husband constantly and he acts like he thinks I'm being ridiculous but I can tell by his little smile that he secretly loves it. My husband is a very handsome man, but he was a chubby kid most of his young life and I think he has a hard time with still seeing the chubby kid when he looks in the mirror so I always want to build him up and make him feel good about himself. I literally bought a letter board to set by his desk so I can always leave him a cheesy pick up line (currently it says "If you were a flower, you'd be a dammmndelion" lol). I just enjoy making him smile and making it where he'll never feel unloved.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Aww, sweet story. Thanks for sharing! 😊

[@msk-qp6fn]

AWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET YOU ARE GOAL MATERIAL 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@acelovesdiyschristopher7023]

Here's a pick up line if u haven't used it yet: are u homework coz I'm gonna slam u on the table and do u all night long. Enjoy, u 2 are literally goals.👑👑

[@spb8039]

If you didn't already know it, you're a really good wife!

[@insanelittlesilk]

Lol! I’m a librarian so I tell my husband, “Are you an overdue book cause you are fiiiiiiine!” Not my best joke but he always laughs.

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

“En garde Monsieur SOLEIL!” Honestly get you a man that will fight the fucking sun for you. That’s love.

[@zinzanzoo]

🙌🙌

[@r.babylon2885]

Morticia's, "Do it again" does so much more for me than modern garbage. That look, that voice, and that subtlety.

[@francis7336]

whenever i see the phrase "do it again" i think of the hyenas from The Lion King

[@ebindelgado9660]

Patrick: "DO IT AGAIN, I WASN'T LOOKING"

[@alicepbg2042]

"subtlety"?

[@Firegen1]

@@francis7336 To be honest..... same vibe.

[@thomaskositzki9424]

I think they are 100 times much more kinky and sexy than "50 Shades of Grey". ^^

[@kendahlgrant8208]

Fun Fact: the Addams Family was designed to be the exact opposite of a normal family. The reason they are a happy couple is because the author thought normal families were not happy.

[@quietperson3886]

my parents be like..

[@laurene988]

That's sad

[@juliak8461]

Well that's just depressing

[@spaghetto9836]

True, can confirm between my parents.

[@KashaLupul]

Sucks to suck. Easy to be happy with your spouse. -dabs-

[@WellWoopdidoo]

One of my favourite throw-away lines from the second film was when Debbie meets Gomez. “Well, aren’t you the ladykiller!” “Acquitted, actually!”

[@crazyjason9838]

"I'll play the victim!" "All your life"

[@MasterSandman]

@WildFireWoo And the proud look on his face while saying it! 😂

[@danielmikhalchuk3490]

“I didn’t hate my mother, it was an accident!”

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

He doesn't say "actually." I know because I can recite the film by heart. 😅

[@WellWoopdidoo]

@@LadyAstarionAncunin Fair enough. Won’t argue.

[@sanityisboring.]

I love Gomez’s portrayal as a caring and involved father who laughs at toxic masculinity’s face, especially because my dad is a very big, manly, bloke. He likes surfing and rugby and sports and barbecues and all that shit which is considered “masculine” and he’s a big, tall guy to. But he also has to daughters and was never above being there for us princesses, fairies makeovers and all (we were very girly when we were little) even for the icky puberty talks and the teenagers waterworks. It must’ve been a little lonely at times being the only dude in the household but he never hesitated to take that extra step.

[@irimac1806]

Ty for sharing that. it helps keeping the hope for good people/men out there up :)

[@phastinemoon]

Real men wear pink!

[@brunosantos3245]

Theres no toxic masculinity. just men who are too weak to be a man. An no real woman want a weak man.

[@Xehanort10]

One of the funniest parts of Addams Family Values is when Morticia says to Debbie "You have placed Fester under some sexual spell. I respect that. But really Debbie? Pastels?"

[@candacecasey5634]

I loved that line too😂

[@ForsetisStenographer]

Can confirm!

[@annegreengables6367]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@clopez6768]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Introvertsan]

That was iconic

[@martijndekok]

I also love that The Addams Family is not a-social. Even though they spend most of their time with each other, they don't isolate themselves. They enjoy joining in with and contributing to social events with people with completely different interests and morals then their own. They might find it hard to relate to them, because they have such a different view of life, but they accept them and wish them the best. Very much a "live and let live" mentality. I love that.

[@Theeight8b]

They even tried and participated in social events of "normies', so props even there. I'd say, for all their oddities and extravaganza they are the very example of a good, adequate and tolerant family. Cant' really believe that I said that out loud. -_-

[@kelsisimpson9843]

I think for the Adams, though, it’d be more of a “live and let die” mentality ;)

[@technounionrepresentative4274]

i wish more adapted the live and let live mentality lately instead of the live and lets shove this person into a box because they disagree with me mentality

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@Drekromancer]

@@technounionrepresentative4274 Well said.

[@josealmeida2842]

One of my favorite moments from the classic series is when Gomez spends about five minutes on the show trying to figure out how Houdini got out of a straight jacket. But the minute Morticia said something in French, Gomez was out of that straight jacket in less than ten seconds! 😂

[@Baldwin-iv445]

I think I remember that scene and my Dad bursting out laughing while I was confused because, well, I was ten.

[@Y2KFroggyAngel]

I want to see that so bad 💀🥺

[@painoftheheart12]

My girlfriend and I before we even started dating, before we told each other our feelings (before I even realized I had feelings). One of our mutual joked how compatible we were and we were playing into the Morticia and Gomez dynamic and I quoted Gomez to her and I just remember her gasping and saying, "I get to be morticia?" And I was like, "of course!" Needless to say I'm marrying her

[@krisherman3513]

Snap her up! When someone gets your references and humor without explanation, that is a major part of a partnership. One major reason my husband and I got married.

[@jameshowlettii761]

What was the quote?

[@ladyreverie7027]

​@@krisherman3513this is me and my partner 🥰

[@SeeItLikeItSub2It]

❤❤❤

[@gagarfield2934]

Wish you two luck! You sound like such a sweet couple :D

[@PrettyBoyKii]

Even from a young age I never understood why so many dysfunctional and often abusive relationships get so much ideation. Gomez and Morticia have always been my example of what a good relationship is. If I hear one more person say they want a Harley and Joker relationship, I'm giving up on humanity.

[@tararocksong5085]

I would much rather have a Morticia and Gomez romance than anything else.

[@novakarledge114]

I don't want to be like Quinn and Joker but maybe Quinn and Ivey...

[@ahstiasummers5583]

Families that fight all the time make for good drama. And when peoples' lives are down in the dumps, drama can serve as a distraction from their true issues

[@aroeenafaith5519]

But I do want that relationship 🥺/s

[@Zeagods-CyberShadow]

Morticia and gomez are a good role model

[@macaroni.5032]

let’s also talk about how amazing a parent Morticia is bc when their baby turned into a “normal” baby Morticia reads Cat in the Hat even though it causes her real discomfort. The baby wanted it so she was a good mother and read it to him, love her!!!!

[@BonaparteBardithion]

[solemnly reading, turns page] "Oh, no. He lives."

[@shiaras4675]

That was, hands down, one of my favorite scenes in the entire Addams franchise. She didn't try to convince him that maybe the book on poisons or whatever would be better, she didn't dye his hair black. Sure she was upset and would greatly prefer him to be less cheruby and more goth like the rest of the family, but she doesn't force it. Because even if she doesn't like what's happening to him, or what it means for his future, she loves him more. So she sits and reads a book she knows he'll like. And considering the literature at the Addams manor, she probably went out and bought the book fresh from the book store. Just topnotch everything in this movie.

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@elfteiroh]

My favorite part about that baby: Rest of family: “Is it a boy or a girl?” Gomez: “It’s an Addams!” THAT IS PARENTING!

[@fungusfood8097]

@@elfteiroh oh you know they're so affirming to everyone. If one of their kids were to come out as trans it would be zero doubt, just immediate snap to New name, New pronouns, asking what they can do to help, offering to take them to buy new clothes etc and they would burn down a school if a teacher misgendered their baby

[@Neytiri94]

Even after all the romantisised toxic relationships todays TV shoved down our throats, Morticia and Gomez were and always will be marriage goals

[@ss-on3ll]

i'm so tired of those.

[@throughtheotherside420]

Goals

[@s_nappsi]

Possible toxic to society but not to each other

[@Okbuddypal]

​​@@s_nappsiThe contrary actually. Even when Debbie (who is nothing like the Addams Family) came into their lives to pretend to be Wednesday and Pugsley's nanny so she could get Fester's fortune, Morticia was pretty okay with the idea and didn't treat her like some kind of weirdo or outcast that didn't belong. And when she had them hostage and ranted about how she deserved jewels and all this other stuff, Morticia nodded approvingly which meant she agreed and wanted her to be happy, even if she did just threaten to electrocute her and her entire family

[@JakeSweeper]

I knew a girl who loved Romeo & Juliet as the ultimate love story. I disagreed and said "If you want a romantic relationship based on a fictional couple, go with Gomez and Morticia Addams, not a pair of dumb teenagers who suicide by misunderstanding."

[@erikzherrllo6960]

Me, a teen with no intention to start a relationship or even marry: “ah yes, the pillars of marriage, must know them!!”

[@phyrewillow6463]

These are good to know for any relationship. How to care for the ppl in your life.

[@banjotiki3910]

Same 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I've always thought that the idea of me having a boyfriend some day is a joke, but for some reason I absolutely love watching this kind of stuff.

[@veesancez]

Gotta learn now so u don't end up suffering throughout ur 20s

[@banjotiki3910]

@@veesancez Well I plan on being single my whole life, so...

[@g.strobl4458]

@@banjotiki3910 , well, if that is what feels right, then stick with that. As long as you give yourself leave to change plans, if you find this does not make you happy, that's perfectly fine. :-)

[@AngelaRichter65]

When my husband and I were dating he asked me what I wanted in marriage and I said "Gomez and Morticia Addams". I didn't even hesitate and yes, he gave that to me. Over 20 years and we're still going strong.

[@alicecain4851]

Envy and congratulations!

[@aubreycarter7624]

That's awesome!

[@vitinamorabito7283]

Awww, cute

[@molybdaen11]

Your game evenings must be weird.

[@AngelaRichter65]

@@molybdaen11 you have no idea.

[@simonscowled9925]

Jokes aside: Gomez and morticia respect each other, support each other and still flirt and romance each other after x years and 3 kids. Relationship goals

[@Lycanthromancer1]

In their case, it was probably XXX years.

[@lucieellis3149]

The fact that the Addams parents have an obviously passionate sex life and being madly in love is what made them stand out. Normally you get the odd sex joke or a lovely dovey comment but this family just went, ‘Hey couples and parents have sex, sometimes kinky sex but it’s all done consensually by two people in love’.

[@nhogan84]

My answer to Alan on the question of "is their obsession with each other unhealthy?" would be: Yes, IF that were the only thing that defined who they were. As Jonathan says, their family as a whole is just as important to them, but Morticia and Gomez both have interests and self OUTSIDE of their marriage (Gomez fences, handles their finances, golfs while Morticia gardens). They have identities of self outside of "Morticia and Gomez" and that's something that's very important to avoiding excess entanglement that is unhealthy.

[@petrifiedviewer]

This is so true. I have a lot of friends who lose a sense of self when they get into a relationship and start defining themselves by their couple status and by how they want to be perceived as a couple rather than just living as a couple and learning to incorporate their new relationship into their lives. Then they end up breaking up and they become so lost as an individual because they spent so long as a "we" instead of as a "me".

[@deanospimoniful]

It's unwise to build the entirety of your identity around something that can be taken away from you, even positive things like familial relationships.

[@canvas_125]

Exactly. The plot in the sequel starts by Gomez helping Morticia have time for herself aside from being a wife and mother so they hire a babysitter.

[@dayalaver64]

Mortician also does witchcraft and knitting.

[@MrsBlack88]

YESSS exactly!!!

[@abbywolffe4114]

Okay but "I would die for her; I would kill for her; either way, what bliss" is such a feral and romantic line and I love it

[@themurdernerd]

Her lines, "Last night you were unhinged, you were like some desperate, howling demon! You frightened me. Do it again." Sexiest. Lines. Ever.

[@LadyYurikoLP]

In German this line was translated to this: "I would die for her; I would kill for her; just wondering what do I do first." Really awesome.

[@LaBrew]

Agree!

[@saturnmercury8533]

@@LadyYurikoLP Oh god... Your profile, it frightened me.

[@marahbaker8615]

@@saturnmercury8533 do it again

[@lindsay3917]

4:37 Shared love maps 7:03 Nurture your fondness and admiration 9:38 Turn towards each other 12:33 Letting your partner influence you 15:35 Solve your solvable problems 18:29 Overcoming gridlock by seeking outside help 21:55 Create shared meaning

[@NN-vb5jm]

Thanks 💗

[@GoddessLuna23]

Thank you! Everyone in the comments is going on about their personal shit, and projecting whatever issues they have. Instead of point out what he says and the reason their relationship works!

[@emilysmith2965]

People deserve to have that outlet if they’re so inclined. It’s part of what makes the channel special and doesn’t merit disparagement. It was possible for you to make a compliment without trying to tear someone else down. I’m guessing you didn’t really mean anything by it, other than an expression of personal annoyance, but some people may have found that hurtful.

[@signat2335]

This should be pinned! (please reply so I remember this comment)

[@shrimpdilf]

Thank you!

[@artespeck8091]

Morticia is so iconic she warps the environment around her to make it look like shes in a 1930s fantasy horror film and honestly i wish i could do that

[@1bendykat]

It says a lot about our culture that a healthy family is framed as “strange” or “off” somehow. That it’s framed as comedy when they’re really the healthiest family on TV.

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

Ikr ?? When did messed up abusive families become so normal... That's like ..the essence of so many issues is "normal" and healthy balanced romance is the weird one ??? 👁️👄👁️

[@kinka9883]

I don't think it's because they have a healthy marriage, I'm pretty sure it's just the fact that they like dark, morbid things. And as far as I've seen everyone loves the Addams family because of their wholesomeness. If they were hateful and actively malicious, I doubt people would like them that much beyond their aesthetic.

[@1bendykat]

@@kinka9883 now they’re viewed as having a healthy relationship but my Mom talks about growing up and how most people viewed them as kookie and entertaining, but not necessarily a “healthy marriage” due to their “occult interests” (she grew up in the rural Midwest)

[@redrhapsody1415]

I think that they're like this because regular sitcoms were always centered around a wife and husband who hate each other.

[@exoticsamba492]

@@kinka9883 Yeah but that’s the problem. Why portray healthy couples as dark & evil? It doesn’t make sense because evil people are abusive. So technically, this image belongs to the abusive toxic relationships from “normal” society. This type of healthy couple deserve to be portrayed as normal, kind beings.

[@Channel9001]

I think one thing you notice about the Addams Family is that they make one important distinction. They seem to enjoy physical pain, and have no qualms about causing bodily harm to one another. But they never cause each other *emotional* pain, they are very loving and supportive of one another, never talk down to or belittle each other. I believe the Addames are very well aware of the distinction between these two kinds of pain.

[@Katyloveheart]

Wow that a really good point

[@mr.miserable280]

Say it louder for the people in the back!

[@glenngriffon8032]

Yeah it's played for laughs how sadistic and masochistic they are but divorcing it from the funny you look and see parents who get along with their children and don't just order them to do as told, siblings who get along and play together and aren't at each other's throats because of rivalry. And what's funny is that even with the idea that Wednesday is zapping Pugsly in an electric chair, it's an activity that they both enjoy and Wednesday isn't causing her brother anything traumatizing or damaging to him. Obviously in real life it would totally kill him but we're not looking at that. Here is two siblings playing, Morticia shows concern Pugsly could be hurt, They both assure her this is fine and they're just having fun and Morticia trusts her kids to know their own limits of play, the boundaries, and not only lets them continue she observes them with a smile. She's supervising and enjoying watching her kids play. I remember a couple of times on the rare occasion my half brother and I were playing around and I was having fun and our mom just flat out broke us up cause I might get hurt and she was always so protective of me. I'm not saying my mom was wrong but it does feel like she broke up what could have otherwise been a small bonding moment between us and we didn't have many of those

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

Yes, because certain physical pain can be enjoyable and controlled by both parties. Where as emotional pain is never enjoyable and can/will push people away

[@wiiink]

even though they still do stuff like play with guns and dynamite in the old black and white show, they made it clear they never physically discipline their kids and even in an episode where Morticia and Gomez thought each other were cheating, Morticia refused to use violence even tho Thing suggested it and they just wanted each other to be happy even if it was with someone else. Uncle Fester on the other hand would gladly use violence on whoever 👍

[@procrastinator99]

Something you didn't mention about the therapy scene: I like how, when Gomez doesn't know about "displacement", he turns to- and asks- Morticia about it. He accepts that she may know something he doesn't, and without a second thought turns to her. His masculinity isn't harmed by turning to his wife, he doesn't even think about it. And that's awesome.

[@maiamaola6143]

I don't often see healthy couples in media who just want to be together, without the expectations of sex. Here, I love how Gomez and Morticia could be seen as a couple who doesn't have to equate sex and love to be happy. They adore and respect one another, they have unique interests outside their partner and they are completely honest about boundaries, communication and trust. Yes, they have children and yes they do have a sex life, but I always got the feeling they would be just as happy being together without having sex. They proved as much in the 1960s TV show where sex was implied, but you never even saw them kiss on the lips. The most Gomez ever did was kiss Morticia's arm when she spoke French. I found that infinitely more attractive/erotic than any "sex scene" in the films. As an ace, seeing a healthy marital relationship focused on partnership and trust before and/or not including sex in this movie is both positive and refreshing. I hope one day it can become normalized and that media will change the focus from sex to healthy partnerships.

[@TaraTara-ld2xb]

Interesting. I find them highly erotic, but also romantic and an example of true love. And yes, Gomez kissing Morticia's arm like that is very sexy!

[@imanaimokay3390]

I'm so glad someone mentioned that, I'm ace too and that's exactly how I feel about couples in the media, I'm so tired of everything just being about sex, like you can be romantic and erotic without the act of sex itself and you can build a meaningful relationship without it too. Gomez and Morticia are one of my biggest "inspirations" on the romantic area of life, the mutual respect, trust and love they have for each other is just beautiful to witness.

[@_50_ducks_]

Yes, my ace brethren! I agree. I get sick of those types of scenes, they are in most movies with romance between characters, I love love, but sex just isn't it lol. That's kinda why I love the 60s one so much, it doesn't cross the lines to be uncomfy to be around, and you can tell that this is a way of them being close and intimate.

[@idkjkshdjkhdk]

As a fellow ace as well, i agree they seem so cute and loving together they're literally couple goals 💖

[@redwitch12]

They're deeply passionate, but that passion extends well outside of sexual matters. They're passionate about *each other*. The innuendoes sure do rain from the sky around them, though :D

[@nekomitaina]

Morticia also an embodiment of self-esteem and self-acceptance. I don't see her taking BS from anyone, or other way round diminishing others. Real role model in that regard!

[@PlanetLovingMom]

My favorite part of the movie to give an example of that, is when they talk to Flora and Fauna at the party. Morticia knows Gomez and one of the twins dated, yet she regards them as "twice the woman" she is. "How could I ever compete with you?" She says to them. THAT is classy and mature. It's *chef's kiss* perfection.

[@bigclitenergy]

@@PlanetLovingMom I know! it just shows how self secure she is and honestly I love that

[@irishdc9523]

She does know her limits for tolerance as well, since she says she could forgive Debbie for stealing Fester from the family and destroying his spirit, but..."Pastels?"

[@lunaselena4270]

when she sadly says "not anymore." to "he is a dreamer, isn't he?"

[@stephaniedesmond8329]

She'd probably take the BS silently, with a smile on her face, because it wouldn't affect her life in any way. She'd just leave the BS sitting there, uninterested, and decline to pick it up.

[@totallyoutofit6989]

"don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job" - Morticia Seriously though, their passion for each other and their love and devotion to each other and their children is amazing, which is why I love these movies

[@banxeescreems3337]

I love that line 🖤 so many good ones.

[@charlieflight6124]

@@WhitneyDahlin the problem is finding them. People say 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' but the problem with the abundance of fish is that you will have almost no chance to find the one you want.

[@Oturan20]

@@charlieflight6124 Of finding the one you want... and wants you.

[@charlieflight6124]

@@Oturan20 Oh yes, of course!

[@nezuminora9528]

"Tim Burton without the bullshit" is extra funny in light of the Wednesday remake

[@jennaheiser625]

16:58 I think it’s a very small moment, but I always smile when “Dr. Pinderschloss” asks if Gomez has heard of displacement, and he says no and turns to Morticia. “Tish?” He knows that she considers his problems to be hers, and her knowing about displacement when he doesn’t would be both possible and is completely comfortable with him. Honestly, the moment breaks the flow of the scene slightly, and adding it in just serves to hammer home how connected they are in a lovely, subtle way. So great!

[@christinaclark9754]

I loved that part. I thought it was really cool that his first thought was to ask her about it. Not just assuming that she didn't know either. Also when he sits back down, he instantly reaches for her for comfort.

[@erikperhs_]

By doing that, he admits that maybe she knows more than him about something, which is not very common for men to do.

[@rebecca_rh]

I would like but I don’t want to ruin the 666

[@jennaheiser625]

@@rebecca_rh Morticia and Gomez would both approve! 😆

[@rebecca_rh]

@@jennaheiser625 yes exactly! Ahah

[@unbakedalaska1301]

Gomez and Morticia are genuinely marriage goals

[@trinaq]

Exactly, they're still passionately in love, and never lose sight of their love for each other.

[@NyGeL_Derey]

I also want to raise the dead with my wife

[@ladyreverie7027]

My husband calls me "Cara Mia" because of this movie! We aren't as goth as Morticia and Gomez but in all other respects our relationship is quite similar 🥰 we've been friends for 10 years and in a relationship for 5 years and we are still passionately in love, still growing in love ❤️🌌

[@Mugruncher]

And Jonathan and Alan are genuinely friendship goals 🌈 ☀️ 🌻

[@amberkelly3187]

Instead of a remake they should have made a prequel of Mortica and Gomez’ relationship. A dark, adventure romp. A hilarious romantic comedy. I’d have watched the hell out of that.

[@BurnTheTeddy]

OH MY GOD YES THIS WOULD BE PERFECT

[@raymondtillotson6985]

@@BurnTheTeddy I don't know, seeing how the Munsters movie worked out with the same premise, we may have dodged a bullet there.

[@496brit]

YES like the Heathers somehow comical bizarre and macabre and mocking romantic movies

[@scofieldvictoria]

Yes

[@sagelyne4621]

FACTS

[@ohshanana2397]

I love they’re relationship so much: they keep the passion alive, respect each other. Love and nurture their children. Have a healthy relationship with other family members around them. And are willing to seek outside advice and help

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Absolutely!

[@CheshireAnn]

Grandma adams : “Adultery?” Morticia Immediately : “No.” I love that line just because it shows, even in a small scene, that Morticia is so confident in their relationship and their marriage that she doesn’t even consider that that would be a possibility in their lives because she loves Gomez and Gomez absolutely adores her🥰🖤🖤🖤

[@ambercherise2391]

I was actually looking for this post.

[@taz2906]

‘Cara Mia’ is actually Italian and I think it’s adorable that Gomez answers Morticia’s French with the other language of love.

[@ladyredl3210]

I was about to say, isn't that Italian? Lol.

[@stephr2980]

I was scrolling through comments wondering about that. He speaks mostly Italian to her, doesn't he?

[@Nicamon]

@@ladyredl3210 In the Italian version he says:"Carra mia."which sounds more Spanish,but it's actually not and I realized it *just now* because I checked and:"Cara mia."in Spanish is actually:"Querida mia."and now I feel stupid because I should have known that!😅

[@Revanbzn]

Cara mia is Italian yes it means my darling basically

[@Nicamon]

@@stephr2980 Well...let's see... 02:58 Italian 03:03 - 03:06 French 03:10 - 03:11 Spanish 11:06 Italian 11:12 - 11:13 Spanish 22:51 This is...complicated.😅Because"bravo"is an italian word,but the last letter should change depending on how many people you are talking about and if they are males or females(bravo=masculine singular,brava=feminine singular,brave=feminine plural,bravi=masculine plural or neutral plural)so if it was actual Italian he should have said:"Bravi!"if he wanted to refer to _both_ Wedensday and Pugsley and not only Pugsley,so I guess this counts as..English,where you use"bravo"for every cases?😅 So I'd say Spanis and Italian are a tie(in these scenes,at least)and then French once.😁

[@mikeyates7931]

It's a small scene , but I love when Gomez is hitting golf balls and Morticia is watching him ; not because he asked her to , not to placate him , but because she genuinely enjoys watching her Man engaging in an activity that he enjoys - in essence , it makes her happy to see him being happy 💕

[@ahhh4117]

I mean he's definitely something to admire

[@tiph3802]

These moments in a relationship are the greatest!

[@mikeyates7931]

@@tiph3802 absolutely 💕

[@jennifermalcolm6838]

I love watching my partner do something that lights up his eyes and puts a smile on his face. I thought I was a sap but its clearly just what it is to be completely in love and truly caring for the other person!

[@mikeyates7931]

@@jennifermalcolm6838 you are a Very Beautiful Soul 💖 and your partner is Very Blessed to have You in his life

[@blakehawk4087]

Gomez and Morticia are the best example of secure attachment: *They communicate very well when things are going wrong. * They don't need to keep tabs on each other, yet know they are trustworthy. *They compromise, instead of sacrificing. *They are very welcoming of others.

[@johnspetkitty81]

I love that as a whole, it's generally widely accepted that Morticia and Gomez have the perfect marriage.

[@oliviamackenzie9725]

Moment of appreciation for the fact that as well as being a loving husband, Gomez is an involved father. He goes to plays and parents evenings, he engages his children with their interests, and its not just the movies, in the TV show we see him cuddling his Wednesday and Pugsley. This man saw toxic masculinity and said en garde!

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

Love this comment !!

[@Dani-et3es]

I wish I could super like this comment. En garde!

[@boobooismine1]

Well, they’re supposed to be the opposite of a preppy, suburban family.

[@Alex7Manu]

Yesss

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

@@boobooismine1 aka actually Happy 😂😂

[@claratalbot7613]

Morticia and Gomez have always been my ideal marriage. It's just a such a wholesome marriage

[@maryabruxinhaartista4045]

I have to ask, if it's your ideal marriage, are we counting with the goth part as well?

[@null6353]

@@maryabruxinhaartista4045 that's mandatory, to me

[@AnymMusic]

sooooo are we talking WITH or WITHOUT the killing and attempted murder

[@claratalbot7613]

@@maryabruxinhaartista4045 I am goth so xd

[@claratalbot7613]

@@AnymMusic Without of course but the legal kinky stuff we could do if my future partner was into it

[@co7314]

We see Morticia as always bathed in ethereal light... I feel like that is representing Gomez's adoration of her. He treats her like a goddess.

[@kathubbard62]

The fact they’re supposed to be the opposite of a “normal family” but has the most healthiest relationships with each member. 😭😭

[@gonzoyork1908]

I agree they're the opposite of a health relationship but toss the other side of the coin.Wait there really care about each other support there kids on there dreams they want ti further there Education like Mortisha said to Wednesday teacher i tell my Wedsday college first.

[@gray_mara]

She expresses a mild discomfort at having the light in her eyes. He wants to be the hero who slays the sun for her. She knows she can express her needs to him, confident he will make meeting her needs a priority.

[@kkibela]

Or allowing him simple easy spaces to be the hero in their marriage

[@gray_mara]

@@kkibela What a beautiful way to describe it!

[@coffeeteamix]

I was thinking that too. And even though she spoke in French which apparently turns him on and would usually make him immediately fall all over her, he stopped what he was doing to make sure her needs are met first, and he did it in a fun way so as not to kill the mood.

[@TriaMaxwell]

To be fair, I'm not a fan of the dayball either. LOL

[@gergovarga321]

This is one of the best thing a woman can provide their man in a relationship, to let him be her hero they both want him to be. And it works both ways and any relationship regarding sex. Providing space for your partner to grow, to shine, to be gentle to you to be nurturing to you is an awesome, selfless act. Bravo, brava!

[@tessat338]

When I was in at the hospital, in labor before my son was born, I asked my husband, "So how are you doing? What is going on in your life?" I figured that this was the last chance for us to have an adult conversation for a while. He sat down on a chair, I gave him my full attention and we had a nice conversation about what was going on at his work and what he was reading at the time. It is one of my fondest memories.

[@mikeyates7931]

I think that you are a Very nice and very special Lady , and your husband is a very blessed Man 💕

[@tessat338]

@@mikeyates7931 We ended up having a nice baby too! Nice kid still, even as a teenager. He takes after his dad!

[@mikeyates7931]

@@tessat338 That's great - God Bless your happy family 💖

[@DavidGowers]

I've ALWAYS believed that the whole Addams Family are a fantastic representation of what a genuinely healthy and caring family should be like. Gomez & Morticia adore each other and always lift each other up, as you pointed out, they're present for their kids at every opportunity, also as you guys pointed out, they have zero problems with involving a therapist if they feel it can help...the only thing really "odd" about them is they're not into loud, bright, colourful, 'happy' aesthetics. Their aesthetic is whatever makes them feel comfortable and happy with themselves and each other. Morticia and Gomez are 100% relationship goals, and the family as a whole are family goals

[@ajaallison6916]

Quite late to this party - but - the Addams family is a FANTASTIC TOOL when teaching other people about consent. It’s funny that a couple of *suspected* serial killers embody consent so well, but they do. Gomez and Tish ask for each other’s consent in most scenes, and it’s an easy reference to say look this is natural, it doesn’t “take away from the moment” or make someone less masculine. Consent facilitates intimacy. You even see that the way Tish and Gomez parent Wednesday and Pugsly. The highest concern is always whether they both want to partake in something. Even though Tish and Gomez have been together for many years and have kids together, they still actively listen and ask for consent, both socially and intimately. Which helps foster a healthy relationship

[@michaelleoanrd194]

Edit: apparently not true according to a Spanish speaker. One detail that is ALWAYS overlooked in the school play scene (and I'll forgive you because it's not about Gomez and Morticia's relationship, but the relationship with their kids) is that Gomez doesn't just shout "Bravo" He shouts bravo (masculine) and brava (feminine). He makes sure to applaud each of his children and it's a detail you'd miss if you didn't think about it being a romantic language. A lot of captioning actually gets it wrong and thinks he repeats "bravo."

[@rach3092]

Awww that’s so wholesome

[@alicecain4851]

Very cool!

[@krystledn]

I imagine that was not the writing and was instead Mr. Julia.

[@HanDaKilla]

LOVE this

[@ladyethyme]

Wow that’s cool

[@trinaq]

Funnily enough, if Debbie hadn't been so insane, she would have been instantly accepted by the Addamses', since they were nothing but understanding of her murderous background! 😂🖤🕸️

[@acrylicgodoy]

I think it was more because she was selfish, robbing Fester away, and marrying him only for money... Pastel preference aside... She was for sure almost perfect for their circle. They didn't mind that she was insane

[@gurglequeen433]

If she hadn't tried to break up the family, they would have accepted her as the psychopath she is.

[@Vashtibucket]

@@gurglequeen433 Yeah I agree lol Debbie was the one who wanted to break the family up, but she fit right in.

[@jimmoriarty9440]

"But do any of you love me? Do any of you truly love me?" "Hands!" *everyone struggles to raise a hand* She'd fit perfectly with them if she could accept that. However, once Grandmama curses you I think your time is limited.

[@CortexNewsService]

Right?!?!?

[@Tabbychu]

I love that Mortisha trying to help solve whatever is causing Gomez such strife was brought to attention. It really drives me crazy how trying to help solve troubles, problems, and issues for their significant others has somehow gained a negative connotation. Why is it seen as so bad to want to help them with their troubles? It's not that you have no faith or trust in them or want to undermine them or anything stupid like that. You care about them and you want to try to help. WHY IS THAT BAD

[@watching7721]

In more modern times, people are much more focused on individuality. The individual is the most important over the collective

[@phastinemoon]

If I had to guess - the reason it goes badly is probably because the MOTIVATION for others is “I want to do this FOR them” or “if I help them, then I will be happy/rewarded” People take the surface actions, but do it for the wrong reasons or do it the wrong WAY.

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

I always found it ironic that the couple we would normally perceive as “odd” or “different” is actually the one with the most healthy and loving relationship and marriage.

[@trinaq]

Morticia and Gomez are marriage and parent goals! Though they might be ooky, and altogether spooky, they embrace their quirky nature, and encourage their children to be different.

[@Firegen1]

Hear hear! If you are likely indestructible - possibly/the living dead - be the best damn parent and spouse you can be.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Buh duhduh DUH 🤌🤌

[@Ashleymfranklin1990]

Couple goals

[@liamisaac1152]

They accepted Pubert who turned “normal” for a while even though it horrified them lol 😂 They were willing to embrace that this was who he was now

[@timothylong3110]

Agreed. As an aside I read this to the tune of the show.

[@gingergoddess8953]

If my kids did what Wednesday and Pugsley did on stage, I'd be *so* proud. Wednesday's Shakespearean delivery actually isnt too bad.

[@ameliecarre4783]

Also, delightful period music, and perfect curtsy at the end. Entirely lovely.

[@3Rayfire]

Wednesday most certainly studies classical drama, her execution of Gary's "vision" in Values says it all, "Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, and the Aristotelian unities."

[@rhaenyralikesyoutube6289]

Me too. She's awesome in her drama club.

[@tararocksong5085]

I’d give Wednesday an A+ for the performance alone.

[@mangaanimefan3089]

@@3Rayfire And was she wrong? I mean, I know the comedy is in how bad it was but jeez! Gary's "vision" was utter cow s**t.

[@fuchainsa]

I never thought much about it until now, but I believe the Addams will always be a happy family because they accept all the typical “evil”, “gloomy”, or “macabre” like elements and events in life that would usually tear apart the typical family. Even when they do have a family problem, they are so used to adapting and living in chaotic events that that problem is quickly solved and they even grow stronger as a family EVERY TIME!

[@ladymeldiriel9486]

I love the scene with the doctor where she uses a term Gomez has never heard of and he immediately has so much respect for Morticia that he turns to her and asks if she knows anything about it, sort of like 'if I don't know what this is, maybe Morticia knows because she's also smart.' And then they both eagerly sit and learn about this new concept together, just another way to bond as a couple.

[@funkyjbass7762]

"Anything is foreplay"; I remember hearing of a elderly Jamaican man talking to some young guys who were wanting to know why he was so successful in his marriage. And his answer was "EVERYTHING" is foreplay. I always remember that. The 'sex' is just the end of everything you have done to make her feel special, and everything is an opportunity to make your partner feel special.

[@Nu_Wen]

Woah, I love that, so much. so much, omg. my brain is fizzling just thinking about it.

[@thethmooteresa]

@@Nu_Wen sameee!!!

[@minagica]

My exes were greedy selfish fucks regarding foreplay. I'm honestly going to blame it on misuse of porn due to having been exposed to it years before their first time having sex (I don't think porn would be evil or should be illegalized, I just think it's counterproductive for virgins)

[@Trollestiatumblur]

@@minagica Absolutely agree. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told men that porn isn’t real, and virgins think they will be good at sex because of porn… no! I’m talking to a virgin right now, and we already expressed we wanted to have sex, I still need to have a few talks with him before our/his first time having sex.

[@blaznskais2048]

He ain’t wrong. If I came home from work and I saw that my partner had gotten a jump on all the chores that needed doing, dinner was cooked and ready when I got home. They definitely be getting some that night.

[@Fionacle]

I love how he doesn’t take out his stress and anger by beating or yelling at his family, they could get some easy drama and slapstick out of that abuse, but they don’t He gets his feelings out healthily by playing with trains, and while the others worry as they know what him playing with the trains means, they’re not really hurt in the long run

[@kimhungnguyen8001]

I totally agree

[@Fuglychick]

I go fight on twitter. It helps!🤣

[@glenngriffon8032]

Yeah. They have concerns because they know it means Gomez is stressed, he's got a lot on his mind that he needs to work through but they don't go busting in like "we need to talk" because they trust that once he gets it out of his system he'll come to them to talk. Gomez and Morticia know each other so well, they have such complete trust in each other.

[@Vidar33]

Also, the rest of the family know exactly what trains he uses, along what route, and what that means in terms of his feeling, by nothing more than the shaking of the house. All of them care deeply for each other, and know one another to a scary degree.

[@WiseSageBum]

It's a good sign on all sides Gomez gets his stress out without harming his family, and his family know him well enough that him playing with trains means he's in a bad headspace Everyone's looking out for each other

[@isabelleschiltz5596]

7 tips/ principles : 1- Enhance your love maps. 2- Nurture fondness and admiration 3- Turn toward each other (rather than against or away). 4- Let you partner influence you. 5- Solve your solvable problems. 6- Overcome gridlock. 7- Create shared meaning.

[@aprilhollow5780]

I liked how in the other movie when the baby gets “sick” and turns into a blond haired rosey cheeked baby that all other parents would give anything to have Morticia is worried but does not abandon the baby even though it’s not showing typical Adam’s traits anymore. She even reads the baby The Cat and the Hat which horrifies her but she does it because she recognizes that’s what her baby wants right then. Love that. I wondered if there children ever rebelled and went through a Britney Spears phase what would they do. And that answered the question. They’d be horrified but supportive. ❤❤❤

[@aurorafauna4195]

Have you seen the animated movies?

[@misery8264]

This was the first depiction of a healthy marriage I saw as a child. Most on-screen couples in the 90's hated each other, and it made me hate the concept of marriage a little bit :D

[@wintergarden7539]

I can't think of one.

[@FWilson15]

Home Improvement is the first example that comes to mind of the 90's couples who hated each other. Tim Allen's character was so toxic and the wife wasn't much better.

[@3Rayfire]

If you had to choose between Al and Peggy or Gomez and Morticia, there's really no contest if you want to be happy.

[@AB-sm1qf]

This. Especially when you grow up seeing your parents and everyone else’s parents around you hate each other and have awful marriages, things like this can make people give up before they even start. This movie ironically showed me WHY so many people have bad relationships and it did that in a healthy, organic way not in a fantasious idealistic way. It showed raw, organic and balanced loving relationships where both parties are happy and steering their ship. I think what society gets wrong in most relationships is that one has to be the captain of the ship in that relationship when it’s so much better when two steering that forth. As a kid this movie made me view the lovely well adjusted side of what people can be and look forward to it.

[@luci_datum]

That's actually the reason they love eachother The Addams Family is meant to be an inverse of classic 90's tropes on family sitcoms, hence the marriage being healthy. You'll see it everywhere you look - the family pet is a hand, Morticia actively cuts flowers off bushes in her garden in one (fucking amazing) scene, they prefer Gothic styles, they simply accept and encourage over belittle and deny. It's wonderful to see, and sad it came about as something to use as a punchline at the time

[@diamondflaw]

Gomez and Morticia are 100% marriage role models for us. 16 years in and still going strong. Also, as far as I'm concerned Anjelica Houston EMBODIES Morticia in this movie, I have seen no other depiction that captures the character so perfectly.

[@thehutch7728]

That’s so funny! It was hard for me to accept her, because I grew up on the TV show reruns with Carolyn Jones and John Astin. Morticia was who I wanted to be when I grew up.

[@rebeccahahn6172]

Us too! My other half (of 4 years as of August) even randomly grabs my hand and kisses up my arm just to make me giggle. We are RIDICULOUS and I LOVE IT. It's safe for me to play and be "kooky" with him, and he knows what it takes for me to trust to that level.

[@alicecain4851]

I adore Anjelica and wish she had done more. I know she's not everyone's "beautiful" - she's so much more!

[@lostthoughts73]

I just realised that I unknowingly defined my own idea of a family and a happy relationship based on the Addams Famile and honestly, I am quite happy with that

[@jeanne-marielawson7290]

Love this. At the end when you said they don’t neglect their kids, the perfect contrasting example is the parents from The Willoughbys who are also kinky and obsessed with each other but truly horrible neglectful parents.

[@briana00grace]

“We demand some serious kink in our healthy, happy marriages!” Not what I was expecting to hear, but absolutely correct and I’m quoting this forever now

[@acelovesdiyschristopher7023]

I support the sentiment tbh.

[@patricecipher6457]

Same, can I get an AMEN 😎😈💕

[@alakesbrahms806]

@@patricecipher6457 Amen!

[@patricecipher6457]

@@alakesbrahms806 hell yeah 😝

[@alakesbrahms806]

@@patricecipher6457 I’m just preaching at this point lol! Gotta find my Mortica Addams! Can I get a hallelujah?!

[@alexthegrape2848]

I think this movie had a huge hand in shaping my concepts of relationships as a kid and helped me break a lot of the toxic masculinity I had been taught as a young man

[@ilovelittlemix4034]

:)

[@Drekromancer]

Congratulations, king. 👑 We will free ourselves from our shackles, one man at a time.

[@scarletjester7831]

I don't use terms like toxic masculinity, I prefer Toxic Behavior, but I see what you mean. Gomez and Morticia are textbook examples of a healthy relationship

[@xsunlx]

As a member of the "horrible goth weirdo monster people" club I thoroughly enjoyed this! You guys seem to enjoy these films as much as I do. On a serious note, I was around 9-10yrs old when these films came out and at the time I had the WORST examples of relationships. My parents were horribly toxic and I grew up in a chaotic and abusive home. This film blew my mind as a child and became my beacon of hope. I remember thinking "THIS IS WHAT I WANT!" And I'm beyond happy to say that I've been in a loving and healthy relationship with my husband for nearly 20 years and behind closed doors we are very much like Morticia and Gomez (we're not into PDA lol).

[@Serai3]

My family life as a kid in the 60's was chaotic and unpleasant, with narcissistic parents and health issues they refused to acknowledge. The one thing I wanted most in the world was to escape, and I wanted desperately to be an Addams. They modeled the perfect family for me. (I was never taken in by those cardboard TV families.) They were happy and loving, and their kids never had to be afraid of them. I couldn't imagine a childhood like that, but I wanted it so much. (The other place I wanted to escape to was outer space - I was a Star Trek fan even as a little kid when it first aired.)

[@Pippa87]

Watching this on my iPhone, which is encased in my “Forget Romeo and Juliet, I want a love like Gomez and Mortica.” Perfect timing

[@jimmoriarty9440]

I would like to live beyond the script, thank you. Hahaha!

[@belaytriks]

After some time, actually after the all Twilight fever I started to ask myself why Romeo and Juliet are consider "the" romantic couple. They do not know each other, they are just teens that got their first "love" and never really ever think in the repercution of their acts. They lived a pretty fairy tail about each other and that was all, I really can see them as a real tragic couple now, I see them as troubled teens that really died before even get to live their lifes for cause of their own incapacity of self reflect and their parents incapacity of listening their childs. I still love the whole story as a story but not as a romantic story anymore.

[@aionicthunder]

@@belaytriks Well, that's likely because it isn't a romance story, but a tragedy. As for how they became "the" romantic couple... I got nothing. If I had to guess, maybe just Shakespeare's popularity meant that story became iconic and, through pop culture osmosis, the original meaning got left behind

[@belaytriks]

@@aionicthunder that explain a lot. Thank you for the information, I eraesed for my mind the tragedy part, English is not my native language and we did not study Shakespeare work at school ever so what I know is more second hand references and what I have read myself. Thank you.

[@AnInsideJoke]

@@aionicthunder Nope, it actually got popular for the same reason that Twilight or anything else with a forced love triangle or "ill-fated romance," gets popular: dramatic teenagers who think high angst and unhealthy attachment are "true love." Shakespeare actually wrote it to point out how dumb their behavior was, only for those same types to eat it up. It always frustrated him to no end that it became one of his (if not THE most) popular plays during his lifetime (personally, I always preferred MacBeth and The Taming of the Shrew).

[@victoriasalter1701]

They are not “horrible goth weirdos”, they are a charming and loving and loveable Gothic family. Goths are (for the most part) not horrible or evil, and can be very nice people.

[@trinityfaith_rabbit_trails]

To be fair, these goths strongly imply they've murdered many people

[@beans1325]

I'd like to believe they're just mocking what society typically says about us goths

[@ravenartistofficial]

Thank you for defending us, most people take one good look at a goth person and just assume they are negative or downright evil in general. Most of us aren’t like that at all, we just prefer a certain style of music and clothing. A good portion of us are just big ol romantics.

[@FirstDarkAngel2001]

Ty for the liking of us. It sucks that we get many odd looks, or compared to people that cut themselves, later known as emos. ^^' it's not fun either when people think of goths and think of being consistently depressed. 🙄 depression is not fashion based.

[@DrFranklynAnderson]

Yeah, you say that-but you weren’t in Rome in AD 410 when it got sacked! 😉

[@ajjamsen694]

Jonathan: "...I think he looks HELLA fine!" *Alan looks away, blushing and chuckling* I LOVE how wholesome these two are. Always bringing each other up. We must protect these precious men!

[@LiluBob]

I cannot even begin to say how much I enjoyed this video. My daughter and I are seriously disabled, and we are in constant, constant physical pain. How we survive all of this is through a deep sense of black humor. It is the ability to laugh at ourselves and at the pain and horror of our lives that helps us survive. So I of course cherish this movie, as does my daughter. And we too have always looked at them as being an ideal example of a good marriage, a good relationship, and good parents. It also tickles our funny bone. But what was so striking to me about your analysis and all that you pointed out in this film was how much it reminds me of my daughter and her husband‘s relationship. They are not able to have children because of her disease, and her disability, but nearly all that you pointed out here, most especially the dark humor, and how it plays into what works in the relationship, had me howling with laughter over how much it reminds me so wonderfully and so beautifully of my glorious daughter and her husband. I just sent her a copy of the clip.

[@TheDragonsRose]

The animated versions that came out recently really did this family dirty. They made their relationships seem much more toxic, primarily Morticia and Wednesday's relationship. When Wednesday chooses to change her appearance, Morticia scolds her for wearing pink, like Wed is under an obligation to be only as Morticia expects.

[@alyssamay9237]

Broke Morticia: “You’re my daughter and you can’t wear pink!” Woke Morticia: “I can’t say I’m too pleased with Wednesday’s current style, but if that’s what she wants, who am I to get in the way of that?”

[@demy1393]

@@alyssamay9237 isn't that pretty much what goes with the summer camp in the sequel?

[@alyssamay9237]

@@demy1393 that too! Supportive parents!

[@Brey__]

For real, like in the second movie where Pubert turned blonde and “normal”, they bemoaned over the sudden change but they never really did anything to the baby-in fact, they changed the baby’s room to a pastel coloured room (which we all know Morticia hates) because she thought it’s what “normal” Pubert would want.

[@thatvalensteingirl]

@@Brey__ Morticia sat and lovingly read Dr. Seuss, to her own disdain, bc it made Pubert happy instead of trying to impart her own tastes on him. That was awesome, she was willing to set aside her own comfort and familiarity for her children

[@kitirena_koneko]

I've heard and read too many comments on how women claim that they would love to have Christian Gray from 50 Shades of Gray as their dominant in a BDSM relationship, but I definitely wouldn't because he's a stalker and a control freak, and that always ends badly. If I were into men, I would love to have someone like Gomez Addams in my life, because like me, he's a switch and not at all ashamed of it, plus he's incredibly romantic, genuinely caring, wildly passionate, and he'd be a lot of fun to be in a relationship with!

[@labellafleur6262]

Switches make the best partners.

[@monabohamad2242]

Oh so YOU'RE a stalker and a control freak

[@Amira_Phoenix]

50 shades of BS is a trash read

[@laurinha2892]

@@Amira_Phoenix wait, what? The movie was bad because it romanticized the book. The book is actually trying to tell the reader that Christian Grey is *not* someone you want to be in a relationship with

[@annabeinglazy5580]

@@laurinha2892 then you have read a very different book than me

[@Tania-rg7jp]

This touches on so many reasons why I’m so opinionated on how Morticia and Gomez are portrayed that I couldn’t put into words. They are one of the few examples of healthy, consummate love in a long marriage on a tv screen that we have. Thank you!

[@JonduGaming]

"I'll be the victim!" "All your life." Imma use that one!😂😂

[@sarroumarbeu6810]

The delivery 😂😂😂

[@themurdernerd]

As a weirdo goth(ish) teen girl, I related to Wednesday in this one so much!

[@myplateisempty.4292]

They both respect each other...... Gomez treats Morticia as his dark Queen and Morticia treats Gomez as her unhinged King. It isn't a relationship of a Queen and her faithful knight who would do her bidding..... It's a relationship between a King and Queen. They both raise and support each other as equals. Yes we see Gomez being more extravagant of his affection, but with how much she receives Morticia gives and makes Gomez her king. I think when one partner gives too much they can easily be taken advantage of, but here Morticia isn't taking Gomez for granted, the more he raises her up, the more she reaches out and raises him up to be with her. It's a relationship where both parties are on equal footing and they both are respectful of each other above everything else. Minus the kinky shit, this is something that my parents have taught me to look for in a partner. Valuing each other, be equals and have a respect that becomes love or is formed when you love someone. Even though it was an arranged marriage (it's common in my culture) they have managed to make it work through thick and thin.

[@MrCheenibum64]

imagine if your parents also taught you the kinky shit, this comment would have been platinum 💗

[@myplateisempty.4292]

@@MrCheenibum64 lol please don't scar me like that😳🤣🤣

[@MrCheenibum64]

@@myplateisempty.4292 😏

[@tealablu3759]

Morticia def does more subtle behind the scenes support, like taking “fake” fester and letting him know not to mess with her husband’s emotions. You don’t mess with her man or her family.

[@QuidamByMoonlight]

Well, it’s super healthy to be kinky, too, or at least sexually expressive. If you’re missing that, you’re missing a key ingredient. My two cents.

[@gabrielamarcus]

I feel part of their way of leading their lives as a couple as well as parents, is the fact they don't stick with societal expectations... They are supportive of each other, of their kids... They march to their own drum, not society's...

[@watching7721]

To a degree, they're conforming to the spooky goth standard

[@thegpshowtheshow]

I really like how both mortisha and Gomez embody both traditional masculine and feminine traits and this isn't really considered a bad thing

[@1986kerrichinchilla]

I love how the adams family is so accepting of poeple. When IT marries the auction woman, they dont try to change her and make her like them, they accept who she is.

[@voguishthrone5887]

And they make an effort to include her in their family activities! Like in the first movie, when they play wake the dead they explain it to her instead of belittling her so she can join in!

[@dzbanecekfrost666]

Well, I'm pretty sure they've known Margaret for years since she had been married to Tully. And they have always accepted her. That's beautiful

[@twindrill2852]

Kinda funny considering she DID change a bit in the sequel. She looks and acts rather different, a bit more suave and sly.

[@_50_ducks_]

​@@twindrill2852 I think the reason she seems different is because she's not around sully anymore, and she is happier with what is going on with her life

[@mangaanimefan3089]

There's a really small moment in Values that shows off another facet of Gomez and Morticia's parenting that I can really appreciate now that I'm older. When Morticia's in labor and Wednesday and Pugsley are in the waiting room and this 'normal' girl is giving this cutesy explanation of where she believes babies come from and then Wednesday chimes in that her parents are having a baby because: "They had sex". And it's meant to be funny that she says that so bluntly but, looking back at it, what Wednesday was told was a hell of a lot better than the saccharine crap that other girl(who looked to be close to Wednesday's age) was told. Morticia and Gomez gave their children an honest, maybe detailed?, talk about the birds and the bees and neither of them were scarred by it. So, I liked to see that.

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Alan here, we’ve been teaching our kids about sex since they could talk and look at people. If you make it a normal part of life, and not some weird hidden secret, guess what? It’s a normal part of life that’s not weird or embarrassing. Learned it from Wednesday Addams (my first movie crush)

[@mangaanimefan3089]

@@CinemaTherapyShow I've no doubt Wednesday was the first crush of many boys(and girls) in the 90s. 🤭

[@MysticMae21]

I've been told about it from before I can remember. Obviously I wasn't told details, but as I got older, more age appropriate details were added.

[@ruserious2966]

It's true my mom was very open about it to the point that our private joke is that she 'scarred' me for life. Years later when I had my first time it was as funnily akward and yet still a good experience as she told me it was going to be. My mother was made sure my younger sister and I had a very healthy sexual education growing up and now both of us are very responsible sexually active adults. Funny how that works out huh.

[@astoldbynickgerr]

I’m 20 and neither of my parents have given me “the talk” 💀 It’s okay though, I think I feel more comfortable learning on my own from sexperts on the internet.

[@charlayned]

OMG, I love this! I think I can honestly say that my beloved husband, Bruce, and I are the real-life Morticia and Gomez. Not quite as dark, but just as weirdly committed. Met as a science fiction convention, got busy the first "date", moved in in 2 1/2 months, married on Halloween night six months after meeting. We get the "icky sweet" couple award all the time because we actually like being with each other. The covid lockdown wasn't bad, he worked from home and took care of me (I have MS). We sat and shared your video and just laughed (holding hands, no kidding.) We're both now 65, been married 29 years in two weeks, and we aren't your usual grandparents. (4 kids, 9 grandkids). We went on our "honeymoon cruise" finally, I had purple and green hair (look at the picture) and he wore his black kilt to dinner one night. He looks like Santa year round (white beard) and could have pulled off the "vacation Santa" with his Hawaiian shirts we bought him. I sold two sets of the first 4 novels in my vampire series "Fangs & Halos" on the cruise too. (yes, vampires and angels, and a vampire cat who is a snark.) My youngest daughter could do a great Wednesday Addams when she was in school (now has 3 kids, one almost out of high school), and my eldest granddaughter, now in college, IS the Wednesday in our family. Oh, and my signature line is "I'm the grandmother your mother warned you about." After two failed marriages for me and one for him, we were afraid of the "M Word" but ended up married anyway. And it's glorious. So, you have two watchers who could be the models for well-adjusted, loving, but just weird married couple.

[@paultuck]

The weird plant in the background that didn't like the sun is likely Cleopatra, or a smaller potted offshoot of it. In the 60s show it was Mortica's pet plant she had and was very carnivorous, preferring large lumps of raw meat. I agree everyone did a fantastic job as their characters. I also had a crush on Christina Ricci as Wednesday. I think a lot of guys our age did.

[@kalikadevi]

Girls too! ;)

[@skyler3785]

I came across a Tiktok that basically said “If you want a Morticia you need to be a Gomez Addams…”

[@TimDownsAnimation]

Morticia is honestly a role model in a lot of ways. She’s always 100% HER. She does not budge from who she is, but at the same time she doesn’t ask any of the “normal” people to. When she judges, she’s p much silent about it and is very validating, but that goes both ways and she expresses herself in public just as boldly as everyone else. The ONE time I can think of where she outright judges someone out loud is to insult Debbie after she’s very clearly been revealed to be a genuinely evil person ruining the family: “But really, Deborah? …….. Pastels?” Lol

[@themurdernerd]

LOVE that line!!! "You have placed in under some strange sexual spell. I respect that."

[@ForestSen]

And I’m sure she wouldn’t have even mentioned the pastels at all if she stayed part of the family. Morticia would have just accepted it and worked around Debbie’s pastel fixation. 😂 she had no problems with Margaret and her “normalcy”. She just accepted her and her pink princess dress (I think she was dressed as Glinda?)

[@Gummy_Pop.]

Iconic line 🤣

[@deathwish-fs1ib]

@@ForestSen It does seem to be a running theme that while they consider everyone else strange compared to themselves, they still respect them and at no point try to make others change to fit into their 'normal'. They're probably the nicest family in the fiction overall and I think everyone should strive to be more like the Addams Family. Heck, even Wednesday, the most sinister of them all, tends to avoid causing issues for others unless they cause issues for her and has shown a desire to punish bullies in pretty much every rendition of her character.

[@rebeccahahn6172]

And judging her extremes in clothing is far different than judging who she is as a person.

[@drehendesMausrad]

This is so wholesome 😍 I watched it multiple times now and I am still giggling like a school girl about all this wholesome, weird, grotesque marriage

[@CinemaTherapyShow]

Their marriage is silly, but more importantly, healthy!

[@Ferretic]

Gomez wakes up every morning and he makes it his sole duty in life to show the woman he loves *how much* he loves her. And she loves him for it. He meets her needs perfectly, and she meets his needs by responding affirmatively to his efforts and reciprocating the affection. But yes, I do not believe any recast or reboot of it can ever match these movies and their portrayal of Gomez and Morticia.

[@macabreebackupchannel5442]

Same here. No recast or reboot can match it. This portrayel of marriage is sealed on another level. Any attempt to "re" portray it will be cringe and fake

[@fazbearfanatic4358]

I love how the Addams family, who is obsessed with death, is the best at keeping their marriage alive

[@remi5309]

i think its because they are supposed to be the opposite of a "perfect suburban " family which tends to have dead marriages

[@Jinxed-Oracle]

When Morticia is asking her mother for help... Mamma: Troubled husbands...adultery? Morticia: (immediately replies) Oh no. Jonathan has stated several times that the sexiest thing about a partner is one who shows respect and trustworthiness. Can we just talk about how that ONE LINE from Morticia about being so sure that, even at his most stressed, that Gomez would never cheat on her or betray her like that?! 😭❤ I swear, they're the best fictional couple!!!!

[@KanishQQuotes]

She would kill him before he comes home after cheating

[@thatvalensteingirl]

@@KanishQQuotes Gomez would never step out on her. Period.

[@MissCandiDandi]

Amen, trust is such a valuable thing. My partner often tells me I am the first relationship he'd had, where he hasn't a single doubt in his mind about my faithfulness. That he's never questioned it (and it's a big deal because he's Ben cheated on in the past) I adore that he trusts me, and I trust him. Our relationship has so much strength backing it even just from that alone.

[@bunnitrap9139]

j

[@danagalletta8349]

There is an entire episode of the 60s tv show called 'Green-Eyed Gomez' where an old friend of Morticia's stays with them for a bit. During the stay, somehow, both parties think the other has fallen out of love because of misunderstandings involving both Lionel and Mildred, a maid who Gomez hired to try and pry Lionel away from Tish, they both become depressed. Gomez goes so far as to try and unalive himself because he doesn't want to live without her. It's dark, but beautiful, and speaks to how much these two truly love each other.

[@audreybailie8863]

I was showing my boyfriend this video because they're my ultimate favorite couple and how the family makes me very happy and how healthy the whole family is. He had the audacity to tell me they're unhealthily infatuated with each other and how it's unfair I hold him to that standard. I'm like wtf. So I sent him this video. Now he loves that couple as much as I do.

[@ReddBoi64]

The Addams family is such an endearing franchise because despite them being caricature Halloween horror monsters they have a healthier family dynamic than literally every other normal person they show alongside them

[@HalloweenYearRound]

Absolutely love Gomez and Morticia. They're the antithesis to the typical bickering sitcom couple that's usually not a healthy relationship. Plus they're weird but they completely own it!

[@elieli2893]

I find it so weird that people in general just, accepted the "strained marriage and a couple hating each other and possibly also their kids while dependant enough on each other not to get a divorce" as "okay, this is comedy, so relatable!" It... Is everyone okay? Why do we not have more iconic couples that are, you know, in a healthy relationship? Why do so many movie couples seem to be a bad personality match for each other? I'm so tired of the whole trope about a couple unable to communicate and thus, drama ensues, but in the end it's okay because someone else told the other person what their partner is actually thinking and now they're in love again! Um... No? Please learn to communicate? Something is wrong if a person not involved in your relationship has to translate your partner to you..? Morticia and Gomez are so refreshing :'D And they're somehow supposed to be the monsters? (excluding the whole, murderous, pretty insane, highly probably undead part :'D)

[@caitlin329]

It's a pretty recent phenomenon in sitcoms to have couples who seem to hate each other as the norm. There's probably an interesting bit of analysis and research to do there.

[@rachaelknudsen8801]

@@caitlin329 I submit that it's not. The Honeymooners is an classic 1950's TV show which acted like spousal abuse and disdain were normal. The dysfunctional relationship as normal has existed for decades. It's grown more pervasive in recent years, but it's sadly not new.

[@caitlin329]

@@rachaelknudsen8801 It is the idea that it's the norm or the default. The Dick Van Dyke Show was incredibly successful and they loved each other despite disagreements and conflict. In shows which focused especially on families, especially more 'traditional' or honestly just suburban, they often were actually quite happy and loving in general. It just depends on where the show decided to get its jokes and comedy from.

[@morganrobinson8042]

@@caitlin329 See, what's missing from this interpretation, as well as the one you're arguing against is the context from the inception of the original show, and the way that Gomez and Morticia managed to sort of outlast one toxic cliché to stand in contrast to the one that superseded it, a few different times. In the 50's and 60's censorship meant that couples on Tv we pretty much neutered. Weird and concerning stuff like showing nearly no physical affection and sleeping in separate beds to avoid even circuitous implications of a married couple having a sex life. The Addams', as tame as they may seem now, were pretty much the only couple on Tv with a healthy interest in one another. Actually arguing wasn't really a part of it, few shows of the period went into anything but the tamest conflicts and I'm not sure any that did were even running concurrently. It just wasn't allowed to have a couple in discord, too controversial. But with the counterculture movement that loosened up, and writers started riffing on the tropes and methods of the sitcom. It usually happened in cycles of deconstructing and reconstructing the genre, thee Addams Family was pretty much the start of the trend, being based upon comics that had been running in the New Yorker for years. The arguing couple as the basis for the plot showed up mostly in the 70's and 90's to 2000's, largely influenced by the recession in the first and Gen-x cynicism reassessing the boom years of the 80's in the latter. More placid characterizations of on sort or another tended to fill in the gaps but aren't nearly as well remembered. In effect, Gomez and Morticia aren't directly opposed to any specific trends since their adaptation in the 60's, the genre conventions shifted around their unshakable foundations. The constructed problems of more dynamically cynical shows or the implicit inadequacy of the more toothless have very little to do with them really. They're living their best life, and the more normal people just got in their own way more, usually by trying to be something besides themselves.