SPILLING THE TEA ON ALL MY THERAPISTS

[@imjennim]

To all the therapists I've seen before... I wanted to sit down and chat about my whole journey on finding the right therapist for me. I would love to know your guys' therapy experiences in the comments below. n_n

[@christineh6725]

Started seeing my school's therapist this year for stress... a lot of it is just me ranting about my life, but after hearing this I want to start to improve myself instead of just ranting :)

[@omfgellysha]

to all the therapists before - thank u, next ^~^

[@heyitsshirleyy]

Thank you so much for making this video Jenn! You really nailed alot of points which gives me so much more clarity now! 🙂

[@eline5263]

I really loved this video Jenn, if you would enjoy making a few more I'd gladly watch them. However I also find it important to let you know that you don't have to open up if you don't want to. You're also allowed to keep a few things to yourself. :) Thank you for this video!! I really enjoyed watching it and I enjoy the further ones you'll make. Lots of love from Belgium!

[@marisol130235]

Thank you for this

[@moochie719]

I’m a therapist, and I ALWAYS tell new clients not to give up on finding a good fit! It’s like any relationship - good chemistry is so important!! I ask clients to let me know if they feel we’re not a good fit, and I will happily find them a better one. That’s more important than client retention for me ❤️

[@imjennim]

Yess! Thank you for this. That's great that you're so clear with your clients!

[@BeyondBrii]

I’m training to become one, and yes this! I have so many friends complain about their therapists and I’m always confused why more don’t offer them this, I just assumed it’d be standard :/

[@moochie719]

BeyondBrii I agree! I just want my clients to get help - I don’t care who it’s from!

[@sarabak2871]

@@moochie719 i'm currently seeing a therapist but i feel like we're not a good fit. i've been grudgingly going because i don't really know how to tell her that i don't want to continue this anymore. what is the best way to go about this?

[@moochie719]

Sara Bak I’m sorry to hear that! My first suggestion is to talk about it openly with her. She may not realize it or may be holding back for some reason, and sometimes an honest conversation can actually deepen the relationship. Maybe something like, “I wanted to talk to you about something before we start today. I’m realizing that I don’t feel very connected to you, and I’m not sure why.” And then let her ask follow up questions. Therapy *should* be a safe place to disagree and talk openly about the therapeutic relationship. If she isn’t willing to talk it through, I would say go ahead and move on to someone else. If you are able to have a good conversation and you still feel the same way, I would ask her for referrals. It may be uncomfortable for her, but that’s her job. I hope that’s helpful!

[@dalkiss]

I am a Korean-American clinical psychologist and I want to thank you for posting this. I love hearing the client’s perspective and how they’re experiencing the intense change they are investing in. Additionally, thank you for touching on the topic of multicultural issues and how finding a therapist who is culturally competent is so important. I am so glad to hear you found such a great match! Thank you for posting this!

[@LindaThao]

I’ve never seen a video like this, love this type of quality content! 💖😍

[@imjennim]

Yay! Thanks for clicking on it!

[@Anaid999]

It's so strange that therapist #2 suggested you cut ties with your parents. Im a psychology student and one of the things they teach us is that we have to understand the client's culture. There are things that seem "strange" but are completely normal in a different culture. Also, as a Mexican-American, I completely understand the feeling the you have about your parents. I owe my parents EVERYTHING. They risked everything to get me and my sisters here and we have such a better life for it. I can literally never repay them and it's not a negative thing.

[@nadine7327]

It is a negative thing when that creates negative emotions in you. Such as guilt, feeling less than, not ever good enough, emotionally blackmailed; in essence, when it become toxic and detrimental to your health and well-being.

[@marianaaranda6965]

Right? I felt all of the therapists she spoke about before the last were quite insensitive and didn’t seem to take the time on getting to know her other than wanting to push their own views and solutions.... seems like they may need a bit of help too lol

[@SweetMacaroons]

I agree therapist #2 demonstrates how to not do counselling or therapy, honestly she could've gone towards placing boundaries here and there but her solutions were extreme and unhelpful for anyone to cope long term. Amazing and informative video love it xxx

[@sayurikim9484]

I guess it's not literal.😅 Cutting ties just means you don't have to carry a heavy burden just because they are your parents. I'm an Asian-American and I'm on a therapy, dealing with the guilt, feeling like I'm owing everything as if like life debt. It's a really strong, never-ending feeling related to our culture more than in others. This was one of the reasons I've started having panic attacks and anxiety. I think her therapist #2 tried to persuade her in a wrong way. Pushing her too hard. I agree with you it's not a negative thing we just need to refocus our mind.

[@jj2517]

Diana GRM THANK YOU for saying that. I think cultural diversity is certainly something lost sometimes in counseling. Counselors (and friends) tend to be culturally homogenous in their advice; it’s like only one culture is right and a person needs be culturally American to be considered healthy.

[@FatBestialSwan]

I'm Vietnamese and was verbally/emotionally abused my whole life and my parents used their struggles and sacrifices as justification for the abuse, so being told by a young Vietnamese therapist and an older Chinese psychiatrist (both female) that it's not my fault that I'm not the child that they envisioned having, that I don't owe them anything, and that it's understandable to cut ties with them was actually a relief. I don't see myself cutting them off. I love my parents and I'm thankful for what they've done for me, but it was damn near not worth it.

[@Konocha]

FatBestialSwan I totally feel you. Of course I am grateful to my parents for sacrificing a lot for their children and always putting us first. I DO really think I owe them a lot, however this doesn’t mean I owe them everything. It was still their decision to get children. I know I am lucky to have parents that dedicated their live to raise us, however especially my mother uses this against us now in order to somehow ˋblackmail´ me (as I am the youngest out of four children). If I don’t agree with something she says or don’t do something she wants from me, I am always the ungrateful daughter. She uses this behavior a lot to suppress me, which is also one of the reasons why I feel so responsible for all the problems within our family. So both of my therapists made it clear to me that I need to untie myself from my parents and I totally get why also your therapist suggested it to you. Of course, maybe this doesn’t seem to be a huge issue to you, so your therapist should have listened more to what’s really bothering you in your life, but her advice in general was not totally unreasonable. Good luck to you on your journey of self-healing

[@catlover-fv1ii]

So did you cut ties with us parents? I am German Vietnamese and my mum has luckily been never any kind of abusive before (except some harmless ass slaps xD) so my dumbass head thought that other children of asian immigrants don't have a big problem with their parents

[@gabrilabi]

Hey jenn! As a psychology student, this video rocks! It’s REALLY important for people to know what a journey it is, since a lot of people give up on their first try. Sometimes the therapist’s approach doesn’t match you and/or your needs, but there are SO many to choose from. The more people know that, the better, cause we all know how it can help and heal.

[@ambrebadhippie]

As a psychology student, I 100% second this !

[@spunkiQT]

Yeah I majored in psychology too, and I remember learning that the relationship, or rapport you have with a therapist is almost more important than the advice or tools they give you in your sessions. I've forgotten a lot since I graduated lol but that stuck with me

[@nicolehernandezmorales4006]

Also, as a psychology student, this is 100% true!!

[@lavendaire]

Thanks for opening up and sharing about your experience!! It’s really helpful. Also admire how much you prioritize your mental health 💛💛

[@anshikajain5489]

My favourite youtuber commenting on my other favorite youtuber 😍😍, the world is really round 💜. You are one of my biggest inspiration! You have no idea how much you hav helped me through times when i felt hopeless 💜. Thank you so much aileen 💕💕

[@queenb9905]

Oh hey... didn't expect to see you here. I love your videos. 💜

[@fablihanbar]

finding a therapist of color is super important. i remember having white therapists that kinda looked at my life as a south asian as "strange" and just couldn't understand at all. it made me feel extremely uncomfortable and as if i'm misrepresenting my culture someway because of my personal traumas which gave me even more anxiety. i found myself explaining more about my culture and how it works rather than healing. finally, i found the perfect fit and she was a person of color!!! im so glad you found the perfect therapist for you :)

[@simplyshama]

very true! this very issue makes me want to go and get my masters. there aren't enough of us in this field!

[@BaileyBlurbs]

So incredibly important!

[@gabriellahanna5594]

So true!!

[@wearilive]

Jenn, ahhh I'm in the process of finding a therapist and your story of your first therapist is the exact same thing I'm kind of going through right now. Felt really nice to hear you have the same thing. Ending really abruptly left me feeling really on edge, and then not being able to see her again for awhile, and overhearing my therapist ask the woman at the front desk who I was, did not feel good! in the process of trying to find someone else. Thanks for sharing this video though it's so helpful for all of those out there interested! and therapy is such an important thing!

[@youngminlee3607]

Hey thanks so much for doing this episode Jenn! I am an Asian American therapist in training and it's really encouraging to hear this from you :) Also, just to validate your experiences it's been confirmed that Asian clients have a higher success rate with a therapist that are also Asian (through research)

[@Charissahoo]

We need more mental health videos Jen. This was SO eye opening and I find it very heartening that you were willing to share all this with us it really helps to know that we aren’t alone in all of this

[@pinyrose]

Please make more videos on this topic and about your experiences! I feel like we have some similar life experiences and similar ways of dealing with our issues (rationalizing events to process them effectively). I love that you have 2 years of therapy experience and a year of consistently seeing the same one, so talking about your experience would be a great insight for your audience :)

[@SMcGowanRicher]

+

[@MR-ml7ih]

+

[@sylviafrida819]

Dude, I watch this and I realise how freaking lucky I am. I was having really BAD anxiety issues and I went to see a therapist. First session, I've spent 2 hours just talking with her. Imediately clicked with her. She's a strong and bright woman that lived so much and she really cares about me, kick my butt if needed and remember things of our early sessions - 1,5 year ago. I'm so happy you did not quit and managed to focus on your mental health and found someone good!

[@SupChristineNguyen]

I'm studying to be a therapist and OMG this is so insightful. It's really refreshing to see what the client's point of view is because all I'm seeing now is just the therapist's POV while in this therapy program in school. I would love to see more mental health videos! I loved hearing the pros and cons of each therapist you saw. Some of them are do's and dont's that I'm learning rn. Love your content always and i'm so glad you found the right fit! There is a need for more Asian American therapists and I hope to change that in the future.

[@eline5263]

I'm studying psychology and a few of my professors let us know that when you study therapy it can also be super useful to follow some therapy yourself. To indeed, as you said, get the other point of view. Just dropping it here as a small suggestion for you. ^^ But feel free to completely ignore it if it doesn't feel right to you! Good luck with your studies!!!

[@Enchanteralle]

As an Asian American therapist myself, I agree that sometimes clients just need to take the risk to shop around before they find a good fit. Finding a therapist who understands your culture (not just ethnicity) is very important. The key here is that the client will work on goals that he/she establish. I'm glad you found one that lets you explore your own goals. These days a lot of clients want to get therapy to get a solution or answer from their therapists. Doesn't work that way. A lot of people want instant gratification. Thanks for sharing!

[@flarvee]

q

[@miramilz]

wow - I can’t believe the 2nd therapist told you to cut ties with your family. I would have had the same reaction as you as an Asian American!

[@imjennim]

Yeah... I was PISSED.

[@crystalsaltmarsh2899]

saaame!! being half Korean I believe family is SO IMPORTANT

[@jessicagold444]

I would have the same reaction like "is you crazy", I probably wouldn't believe her but I'm hispanic and family is very important to me as well!

[@sharpayyevanss]

Dude I'm totally white from scandinavia and I would've been totally pissed as well, family is important, that therapist was weird!

[@marcelarivera9200]

i was soooo shook when you said that. i could never

[@keroplease]

This video made me so emotional. Having struggled with my mental illness my whole life and never having found resources for an individual therapist, it makes me so happy to see how it has helped you. I’m truly moved by this. I feel empowered to speak to my psychiatrist honestly about it. Thank you, Jen. You remain one of my favourite places on KZbin and I always reflect on what you say! Please keep talking about mental health. It’s so so helpful.

[@florrie.6377]

Jenn never disappoints, this is QUALITY content! 💞 I hope the KZbin community continues openly talking about those subjects, because I feel like we're slowly getting to the mental health representation we deserve. Always so proud of Jenn for not giving up and for all your progress!

[@FIyingDumpling]

“I love being able to support her because she supports me” You have such a beautiful mind, Jen.

[@asiaward199]

yes yes yes yes yES YES YES YES!! More mental health videos for sure!!! They really do help people not feel alone in their mental health struggle.

[@scorpio16000]

Yes..thank you sharing. I have never seen content like this. I have been curious about seeing a therapist for quite some time. Just to have in my tool belt. And my daughter who is PhysD told me I should. Lol. I have been to one before and he wasn't good fit and I just was totally turned off and didn't have the energy to try again. But it is something I should value u more and make a priority.

[@SMcGowanRicher]

+

[@plumezy]

yes!

[@MR-ml7ih]

+ totally agree! please more videos!

[@dig2341]

Jenn, I really appreciate how open and how well spoken you are with your experiences. It’s such an enjoyment and insightful to watch!

[@jojojoannnnne]

This feels so genuine, and I appreciate it so much.

[@kayla1355]

Red flags with therapists are so important to understand. I went to therapy once and told them about the issues I was having in my life. Instead of being there for me they just said “that sucks I don’t know what to say” and moved on form that. This happened years ago but the moment has stuck with me in a negative way but has also helped me understand how I want a therapist to interact with me. My advice is to stick with your gut. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t

[@itsmay97]

As a multiracial asian, this helped so much Jenn. I'm going to grad school soon to be a therapist. Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable on screen. Mental health awareness for the win. As a future therapist, I'm in therapy myself and exhaustion and crying are my prominent reactions. I wish sessions were longer. It often does take a long time to find a good client therapist relationship, it's dependent on chemistry, techniques, and their therapy approaches. Sounds like you were really active in your sessions which is great! Sessions should always be about the client! Never about the therapist. For those looking for one, see if your prospective therapist has exposure to multicultural background. This may be helpful for those who come from certain backgrounds, so they understand your cultures values and origin in the very basic sense. Congrats on finding a therapist Jenn! Sounds like your therapist follows the person centered therapy style, meaning you lead the sessions and she follows and guides you when you get stuck. ☺

[@apree22]

I’ve watched a lot of your videos and this is the first one I’ve felt compelled to comment on. I recently began looking into therapists and was thinking about the process of figuring out how to find the right person. Oddly it never once occurred to me to have an Asian American therapist but you are so on point with that recommendation. Ironically I’ve had many discussions with fellow Asian Americans on the struggles we face with balancing 2 cultures as a first generation, and trying to please our families and ourselves at the same time. It makes so much sense to see someone who can relate to your struggles that may be so specific to culture. Also equally important is that feelings and issues aren’t as often discussed in Chinese culture, which makes it even a bigger struggle as a Chinese American! THANK YOU for this video and would love to hear more on your mental health journey! ❤️

[@dohwaa]

I remember listening to your podcast with dumbfoundead about your therapist and thought it was so interesting. I'm glad you made a whole video cuz this was really helpful and insightful!!

[@imjennim]

Ahhh thanks for listening to the podcast with Dumb! :D

[@chickgonesquirrely]

She has a podcast?

[@anktran6903]

YEAH! SHE HAS A PODCAST?

[@rougedlips]

An K Tran she was a guest on dumbfoundeads podcast! It was a really good episode though, you should watch/listen :) (it’s posted on yt)

[@christinalynn9405]

These heart to heart videos are my favorite. Jenn, I so appreciate that you take the time and care to reach out to your audience and actually create connection. I feel connected to you girl! I think people are craving a level of connection now more than ever. To talk about a subject so personal and relative is comforting in a sense where one feels less alone. Simply heart touching. Thanks girl, needed this.

[@crisluser]

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at 14, and my mom tried to find me a therapist. The first two I met with both made me bawl my eyes out, but not in a cathartic way whatsoever. One was a heavier, older woman, with bright pink, recently tattooed eyebrows. She only ever talked about her own problems with her boyfriend and her dog. It was as if I was HER therapist. She hardly took anything I said seriously, and then threatened to have me taken from my parents, solely because I didn't feel comfortable trying medication just yet. It took me 2 years after that to find a therapist who I clicked with. I never ended up needing medication; talk therapy alone with the right person worked wonders!!

[@imjennim]

Wow that first therapist sounds awful. >__< I'm so sorry you had to go through that especially at such a young age. ): I'm glad you found a therapist you clicked with in the end!

[@jessicahurtado7651]

More mental health! Make a video on said "repercussions of having a display profession". You said display profession and I had to pause the video because I had never heard it be called that. Real talk about how having your life online has had an affect on your life both positively and negatively. I'd love you hear you dive into the nitty gritty because I feel like we all feel like that "influencer" life would be so grand when in fact in IS a profession and it is work and like any job it can take a toll on your mental health. I also like hearing about your struggles with anger. I think your vlogs definitely maintain a positive tone, but I struggle with anger a lot, as well as FOMO and comparison being a normal digester of youtube, and sometimes I watch your vlogs and they don't make me feel good about myself- HOWEVER whenever you dig in about your feelings, it feels so much more genuine and personable. Like yeah, she just a normal person trying to figure it out- like me. ("Celebrities- they're just like us" lol) OH ALSO- on this topic, I have a movie recommendation; watch Ingrid Goes West on Hulu. It's wild and but I think you'll find it super relative.

[@twice_velvet]

im so glad you're talking about this, a lot of ppl talk about going to therapy but never mention the work tht goes into finding a good therapist.

[@imjennim]

Yes! I feel like a lot of people are chatting about therapy which is great, but I wanted to dive deeper about my experience!

[@faithaymr]

You often seem so chill and confident and happy with life in your videos and that has always been an inspiration to me, but in a way, also made me feel a bit down on myself because I wish I could be like that too. Knowing you have also struggled with mental health makes you so relatable and the fact that you are being so open with all of this is even more of an inspiration to me. Thank you for making this video Jenn!

[@foxyhoney]

I really appreciate the honesty and the courage it took to share such a personal journey. Well-being of the mind is so undervalued in our society. It goes neglected. I will take time to take care of my mind and heart and pass along the compassion to my surroundings. Thanks Jenn! Well done!

[@yoeninja]

Hi Jenn! I just wanted to say thank you for this incredibly insightful and encouraging video. I’m a Korean-American female, currently in grad school to become a therapist. To be honest, it’s been so difficult and I’ve questioned my ability to be an effective therapist countless times, especially as a woman of color. But you’re video reminded me of why I’m in this field. I hope to be able to positively effect my future clients as much as your current therapist has positively effected you. Thank you again for encouraging me to continue fighting for my license!

[@labonimredha3466]

Not related to the video but that pink sweater is so pretty, and looks so good on you!

[@imjennim]

Aww thank you! n_n

[@CarmenCherie93]

Does anyone knows the brand? Bershka has a similar one, but the pink looks different I think 😅

[@adalineso3928]

I wanna know where can I get that sweater too!

[@victoriaorange08]

@@imjennim Where is the sweater from?

[@belnachina]

i also wanna knw where the sweather from! :)

[@luciennechae164]

Choosing to be happy and loving yourself isn’t always natural and easy for everyone. It is amazing to see that you are slowly finding out the beauty of your being. I just love your energy and continuous efforts to be happy. You are amazing!

[@coffeeforjulia]

Your current therapist sounds so lovely and inviting. So glad that you found her and vibe with her the way you do!

[@imjennim]

Yess, we're in a long and committed relationship!

[@lisebrinck8848]

I just started seeing a therapist. Where I live, I don't really have a lot of options, so I can't shop around. This video was very good and for some reason I started to cry towards the end. Maybe it's just hearing that someone else - someone I admire - has had or is having a similar experience to me and is also seeing a therapist. Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@guknhguhcrujbcd3962]

you have no idea how much you helped me with this video jenn . you are so real and honest and like you truly care about who you are as a person and i love that thank you so much for being you

[@harmemes6255]

thank you for going in depth about a topic that's not really discussed on youtube! a lot of people turn away from therapy because the first therapist they saw didn't work for them, so it's really vital that people know how much time it can take to find the right one. if i had given up after my first bad experience, i wouldn't have found the amazing counselor i have now. i'd love to see more videos about mental health! your videos have always been super informative and genuine ❤

[@monicataniguchi]

I first saw a therapist when I was around the age of 12. My parents decided to take me to one because I was dealing with depression, anger, and anxiety. At that time, I hated the whole idea of therapy. Being fully open and speaking to someone I did not personally know about my issues was something that terrified me. Being so young, I didn’t understand the benefits of therapy. As you said, it’s so important to find a therapist that you feel is right for you. I’ve gone to see other therapists in my teenage years, but never really found “the one”. The whole experience left me very incomplete and have even made myself think that maybe therapy wasn’t for me. I’m in my mid 20's now, and am still a bit traumatized about trying therapy again, but this video gave me that push to want to try again. I know the process of searching for a therapist won’t be so easy, but I know it will be worth it if I don’t give up. Thank you so much for this video Jenn!

[@stephaniechen1040]

Please make more videos like this. I struggle with mental health issues and it is an amazing thing when you realize you’re not in it alone. I think this video is so great because it is helping to break down the stigma against mental health when someone with your platform speaks about mental health so candidly. Thank you for this!!

[@TheSabrinaanne]

Hey Jenn, ever since I’ve started watching you years ago, your videos always showed an unimaginably perfect life filled with infinite happiness. But as you posted this video today, I’m glad that you’re opening up about your personal life and mental health. I’m happy that you’re showing me that your life isn’t always perfect and that even the people who seem to have it all together need help too. Thank you Jenn, love you!

[@imjennim]

Hey Sabrina! Thanks for being so sweet and kind. My channel is a place where I put my highlight reel, but I'm wanting to share different facets of me. My life is amazing, but I am not immune to sadness, anger, and struggle. Everyone no matter where they are is/has been going through something.

[@volatileflame]

thank you for your honesty and openness. as a counselling intern, this video has been a helpful reminder of all the different factors that go into developing rapport with a client, as well as the pitfalls (giving advice instead of guiding the client to uncover their own journey). as someone with a similar East-Asian background, and as someone who has gone through some similar struggles as you, it's a good reminder that we are never truly alone in our experiences. thank you.

[@KJ-tf2kk]

I’ve started seeing my own therapist about two months ago, and it’s been helping me so much. As a university student who’s going through some mental challenges it is such a relief to have somebody to talk to who doesn’t have any ties with you at all - plus, she’s Asian-Canadian like me, and she’s not too much older than me so I feel like she understands my struggles. My only problem is this anxiety I have that I can’t fully explain everything in the time we have, or I forget to say something crucial, or that the long term issues I have won’t ever be solved with therapy and that they’re just a part of me I have to accept. But I guess only the future will tell! Thank you Jenn for this video! We’d love more talks on mental health

[@annabelbunton1448]

Jenn!!!! This video was AMAZING. I’m taking some years off after undergraduate right now before I go to school to become and therapist. I have had a therapist for 10+ years. You hit a lot of key points and discussed some great things. Thank you for your video. Using your platform to lessen this stigma of going to therapy. Sharing stories like this helps tremendously. I loved this video so much!

[@TriTrina]

As someone who is thinking of doing a counselling and therapy masters after my current degree this was really helpful to see what works and doesn't work. I can't believe how some of your therapists were, I can't imagine most people finding those experiences comfortable or helpful.

[@emmihwang]

Jenn, I connect to this so STRONG. I've been watching you for more than 6 years and just didn't expect to get to know you this way. Thank you for being vulnerable 🥰. I've been seeing my Asian American, woman therapist for 3 years and it's been an amazing process. I've been lucky, it took me two tries and I'll never look back because it's fantastic to understand self love and care!

[@stephaniesayuri2510]

Thank you so much for this. I struggle with depression and anxiety and my first therapist was not right for me. He used my cultural background as a reason for why I am the way I am, and then told me to watch a ted talk. I felt humiliated and helpless since then and never considered therapy again and I’ve been struggling for so, so many years. This really helped me realize it takes time and patience to find the right one. Thanks for being open about this topic Jenn.

[@JiyoungWon]

Wow, Jenn, this is such an honest and open story! Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear - I've been looking for a therapist but have been also struggling. In fact, I haven't even scratched the surface because everyone I found are completely booked and not even taking on new patients, which has been very discouraging. Your video is giving me the courage to keep going with the search. I think with increased openness about mental health these days on social media (which is great), the information is getting more and more convoluted (not so great) and gives out this false "easy" impression of "go find a therapist, I have one and they're great." This video is very real and I love it!

[@alexmcginness8859]

Yes more mental health videos please! I started looking for a therapist, but never got a call back from my provider. 😑 i know I need to go though. It’s something that I think will positively impact my life once I do it. You’ve inspired me to keep up with it and try again to get my first session.

[@leannahutto7934]

I love this! I feel like people need to realize that we are all human and we all have stories that shape us into the person that we are. We have all had our share of really good and really bad and with social media, the really bad usually stays behind closed doors. I love the open dialogue to get insight into different ways to address and improve mental health. I really appreciate you opening up about your experiences and your journey!

[@winnieebear]

We really don't talk enough about mental health in the asian community, and I'm so glad you found the right therapist! Although I'm sure all most, if not all, therapists are trained to treat patients from different cultures and backgrounds, there's just something about personally sharing the same experiences. and the asian-american experience is a very complicated one.

[@BirdsAndPoetry]

i just started seeing a therapist and i was doubtful about continuing, but hearing about your journey of finding the right one for you has really empowered me to do the same, because it is really the best thing i can do for myself right now

[@Thekpopenthusiast]

Hi Jenn! I'm a psychologist and I have been a fan of yours for many years, so when I saw the title of this video I was really curious to hear about your experiences with therapy and I must say, you did a wonderful job at listing all the criteria needed to find a good therapist. You pretty much listed all the points I always give to people when they ask me how to look for a good therapist. Also, thank you for not the discrediting the profession, even though you've had bad experiences. I'm so proud of how you bring awareness to mental health and that seeking professional help is totally normal. I hope you find what brings you peace of mind and happiness

[@simonthesiamesecat5274]

this helps me sooo much. this shows me what to look for in a therapist. In the past, all my therapists have heard the same story and have given me the same advice. I am looking for someone with a better outlook that isn’t just in it to stick to the time and get paid a bunch of money. I also didn’t know you should form a relationship with your therapist, so that’s really helpful and good advice.

[@kdonline119]

I related to your fourth therapist experience so much. My therapist also lets me lead myself to my own conclusions and encourages me to try and work out my problems for myself. I also love the therapy space as being a private, “me time” zone, where I can vent without feeling like I’m burdening or hurting the person I’m talking to. It’s so liberating to not feel guilty about expressing my feelings and frustrations. I love your description of it being like a zip-lock bag, sealed away from everything else. I was lucky enough to click with my first therapist and really achieved a lot during my first year with her. I’m now seeing her assistant while she’s on maternity leave and this has allowed me to see the benefits of a different kind of therapist, kind of gently pushing me to make the decision to part ways with my first one, something she’s gently prompted me to consider before (the idea being that her kind of therapy isn’t a long term arrangement but one where you can take the ideas home and work on them yourself without a need for a therapist). I’ve also seen a psychiatrist to get a clearer picture of what is going on in my head and give me a foundation to base my treatment on. Having had therapy, it’s something I definitely see as being a part of my life, to the point where I’ll budget to have a spare “therapy fund” so that I can see someone whenever I’m in need of it. I thoroughly enjoyed this video and would love to see more mental health chat-style vids, if you’re up for sharing 😊

[@tsuyuchen3257]

I don't ever want to compare two individuals on their struggles because everyone has their own battles and they're hard to overcome! But I feel that I resonate with you greatly on so many aspects regarding mental health. Many perceive me as sweet and caring out in the social world, but internally and maybe in my home environment I have a lot of repressed anger, anxiety, mood swings and such. Thank you so much Jenn for being this open and vulnerable, we're so happy for you to have overcome and be overcoming your struggles! Watching this has given me a clearer perspective on understanding myself. Lots of love

[@TaylerFrancisco]

The timing of you posting this video is SO crazy to me because I very recently (maybe like 3 months ago?) decided to go to therapy for the same reasons. It actually got to a point where I was so stressed and anxious that I had to become hospitalized. Since then, I've already switched therapists once because I just wasn't clicking with the first one. One of my therapists actually told me the exact same thing, she said "you don't owe your mom anything". Which for me kind of took some pressure off but at the same time I know there will never be a time where I don't want to help her and take care of her. I think for me realizing the difference between having an obligation and actually WANTING to take care of my parents was really helpful and relieving for me. Overall I'm finding this whole journey to be super exhausting but seeing this video gave me so much hope, so thank you for posting it! So much love for you :))))

[@tangiimango]

I really enjoyed this video. As a new therapist, I was a bit apprehensive when I saw the title because I was unsure of what to expect. Unfortunately not everyone is this field is anti-oppressive, but thank you for speaking your truth and sharing your experience. It takes a lot of vulnerability and courage to share these things - and I’m also really glad you found someone that fits! I know it inspires me to keep taking care of myself and I hope others are impacted to do the same. I’ve been a long time follower and I love the new content you keep putting out. Much love!!

[@kind717]

I have definitely been told the same thing about cutting ties with my parents in therapy. I remember feeling totally misunderstood and dismissed by my therapist. I kind of gave up on finding a therapist that fits my needs because I felt hurt by that experience. I am so happy to know that you've found a good fit after persevering. Good for you!!!

[@viktoriatan2070]

Hey Jenn, thanks for being vulnerable and helpful:) personally I had been through therapy and it had helped me a lot. I’m so glad that you are opening up about mental health as it’s still something that many people may not have self aware of themselves and may not take be healed as a result. U are increasing the awareness and making the world a healthier place more than you know!

[@kibinisofat]

Man, I just spend the past 2hours watching videos on psychotherapy, finished and decided to go back to studying for tomorrow’s exam and I get Jenn’s therapy video?! Ohhhh boy I will be staying up all night lol

[@imjennim]

Wow! Just in time! Hahhaha!

[@summerrichards5407]

I enjoyed your feedback Jenn! As a therapist it helps to hear from a client's point of view what is helpful! It encourages me to be sensitive to my clients needs. Being a marriage and family therapist we are required to go to therapy to empathize with our clients and manage our own biases.

[@Nikkilovescats4]

I love this!! Therapy is hard and finding a therapist that works for you is so hard! It’s so great you’re sharing your story bc I feel like it happens to a lot of people, but no one really talks about it so you feel alone. Thank you thank you, you are so awesome ❤️

[@samanthaelle216]

Thank you for this video and helping normalise therapy! I just started a month ago as I'm hoping to address and let go of some past traumas in my life, but I feel weird about telling people I'm in therapy because of the attached stigma. Videos like this help me feel more confident to admit that I have a mental health condition and I'm seeking help for it so I can be the best version of me! Thank you Jenn!

[@TheGemnator]

Hey Jen! I've watched you mature on youtube through clothes encounter. I relate to you a lot. I'm Japanese Italian, and I live in LA now too. Definitely keep putting out more content on mental health, please. I've been going to therapy since I move to LA four years ago, and now I am with therapist number 4 and really happy since March. SO MUCH PROGRESS. Hypnotherapy, Reiki, memory, and really going in deep is so essential. a lot of my friends started to see a therapist after they've seen me heal through the years. I think being open about our experiences as humans really make a difference. I think you're different from other KZbinrs or influencers to me because you speak about these topics. It helps to feel less alone in a world where we are all busy trying to win this game of life and forget to be kind to one another. much love.

[@demetsentvrk]

Jenn, I love that you shared your experience here. As a Virgo who is also looking for therapists, I find this incredibly helpful. It’s very hard to determine which therapists I could go to because I live in a very small city. Seeing you describe your journey to find the therapist you connect with helped me notice that I don’t have to settle for one, and that it’s okay to look for someone who I can connect with as well. Love you so much, and you inspire me to be a better person even to myself. Thank you❤️

[@jackiehui]

omg jenn you are GLOWING and i love love love the pink sweater !! ✨✨

[@imjennim]

Aww thank you!!

[@Emilyannc]

This means so much to me to hear you talking about setting boundaries (something I personally struggle with) with your own therapy! You have been such an inspiration to me for so long now as a woman who is afraid to mess up but shares her experiences anyway and that’s so brave 💕 Thank you thank you thank you

[@Emilyannc]

Also INVESTING IN YOURSELF YESSSSS! It’s so hard not to feel guilty about it but this is so important, thank you for reaffirming this for me x

[@pichurisux3]

Hey Jenn, I never comment on videos, but I've watched yours for years now. Today was a bad day-I felt like no one would hear me. Then I came home and watched your video. I relate to every. thing. you. said. And I feel heard. Thank you ❤ You've come a long way and I want to thank you for sharing your journey with us 😊

[@pichurisux3]

Also thanks for giving me that final push! I'm gonna try therapy again-this time with an Asian American woman, without the guilt of feeling racist/sexist.

[@Hyacinth8293]

Thank you for making a video on the realities of going to therapy. It's so easy for ppl to say you should start therapy but they don't consider how hard it is to find someone that gets you and your problems. After a few useless therapy sessions with several different therapists I was convinced therapy is a waste of money but after watching this now I know that finding the right therapist is half the battle

[@NancyV]

jenn, thank you. you are such a queen of love and you radiate such happiness & fulfillment. just, thank you.

[@camilleromea]

This is amazing. So many people give up on seeing a therapist without knowing that it's something you need to keep on searching on because not all therapist work with every patient. I related alot too on the ethical/ cultural problems you mentioned too. Thank you for posting a video on things that are important to know on one's health. You can change the world little by little by posting these types of videos. Therefore maybe find a purpose in life! Sending love all the way from Switzerland! (I'm Filipino by the way) ❤️

[@jisselamurillo5969]

I love how raw you are in this video Jenn and I totally agree about spending your earned money on things that make you feel fulfilled in life. I made a video called 28 lessons I learned on my own channel talking about the lessons I've feel like I've intook the most in my 28 years of life and wanted to share with others so we are open to not feel worried about the challenges we find solutions to, not always easy but they are there. Love you and I think think you should continue to share your videos.

[@tifferifficxo]

i think this video will be so relevant to a lot of people & i am so grateful that you made this. thank you jenn. i also have been on a therapist journey until i start reading about cognitive behavioral therapy. that’s been really helpful to me & watching your video is making me think about looking for a therapist who specializes in it instead of just doing it on my own. you’re such an inspiration jenn. i wish you the best of luck on your mental health journey & i hope this will also help your viewers find their own way towards better mental health.

[@bree0cheese]

I love my therapist! She was the 2nd therapist I saw. The first one I saw i personal did not like she was an older lady and when talking about some of my mental health I felt she didn’t take me seriously, like I was just a dramatic teen ( I was 17? When I first needed to talk to someone) but my now therapist is great! She talks to me about what is happening in my brain and really let me understand that my mental health is like any other illness and that I need to work out my brain and to do that I need to know what is going on up there. We did a lot of EDMS therapy to go back through past traumas and to help release the anxiety towards the past. I am way from my home town at college so I haven’t seen her in along time. But I know I can always schedule an appointment if I feel like things are going bad. I’m so happy I tried therapy. I have noticed a change from my past self and I don’t think that could happen if I didn’t see a professional. Thank you Jenn for telling your story!

[@jaykidding4847]

this video has affirmed me in so many ways emotionally, physically, and in terms of realizing my desired career path in psychology. i definitely needed it now and it was everything!! you're constantly inspiring me as a makeup and fashion artist, as well as lifestyle queeeeen who isn't afraid of some real vulnerability!! you're amazing jenn

[@marinas1163]

How could she not remember you? That makes the entire thing pointless since she obviously won't remember any of the thing you told her. How do you make progress with that? Huge lack of professionalism...

[@anitama5722]

Thank you so much for posting this video! You give such wonderful advice on not giving up on finding the right fit while also sharing your personal experiences. I think it’s so important to be reminded that social media influencers are human and have their own struggles, so thank you!

[@ranyak7616]

Okay I have to comment again 😂 But I'll be starting med school next year (yay!) And one of the things that really motivates me is being a visible minority. There have been studies that show that overall compliance with patients increases when a person's doctor looks like them! I love that you found someone you can relate to!

[@toodlesovo123]

jenn srsly thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable with us and telling us about your journey with therapy. I'm actually in school for counseling and i think this video is so so so valuable for not only people who are searching for therapists and counselors, but also for those who are in the profession (it really helped remind me of certain things like not to impose my opinions and beliefs on my client or letting the client process through their problems because they are in fact the experts of their own life). you also gave me a little bit more courage to be able to go get counseling for myself as well. just wanted to say again thanks so much for sharing! srsly such valuable content that you're making and I would love to see more~ you go girl.

[@Doni-doni-d]

Whoops my English-- I thought that you were gonna talk about an incident where you actually spilled tea on the therapist 🤣 I can't wait to watch the whole vid!!!! Jenn's vids are always spirit-lifting😚

[@imjennim]

LOOOL! It's not that kinda tea! Hehehe! n_n

[@JenniferIm]

omg same🙈😰

[@Melza01]

Me too and then it clicked 😅

[@jilee350]

I'm a bit late to the game but I really want to thank you for this video. I find it so easy to connect with you and It was so refreshing to hear this as someone from a similar background. I'm also a PA student going into a health profession. A lot of other people have trouble voicing their frustrations about finding a good therapist as well as a medical provider. I'm so glad you found someone who you connect well with. It's so easy to find someone who wants to help you, but its difficult to find someone who helps you in the way you want to be helped. This is something I find frustrating even in my own training/ academics. Because my entire class is filled with good people who want to help, but sometimes its difficult to get out of our own heads to help others in the way THEY want to be helped. I'm always looking for ways to become a better clinician and friend to those in my community, and this video really sheds light on various ways/solutions that I can do that. So thank you for this great eye opener.

[@nglnnm]

omg this was amazing!!!! you’re always so articulate, every word u said had so much purpose. i’m also korean american and found a korean american therapist who rly is so great to me.... it’s crazy to hear all the bs u went thru with ur first few therapists im glad u found the one ❤️

[@misssugarpuff9562]

Wow, thank you Jenn. For so long I thought it was my problem that nothing clicked and nowhere felt like a safe space therapist after therapist, but clearly, you've kindly shared that it's actually a common thing and that it's just a matter of finding the right one! I'll keep looking. Love videos like this!! x

[@sophiachang]

Loved this Jegg!!

[@helloliane]

Yes!!! Therapy has been a catalyst for me and it has influenced all of my relationships because the change started with me first. Love your therapy journey, you are opening minds and hearts for so many of your followers! 💗

[@sheepandstitch]

Love this video! Would love more videos all about your mental health journey!

[@m0riahdeguzman]

Aw Jenn I really appreciate this vid, it's so real of you to expose yourself in this light. Not too many people feel comfortable saying they talk to a therapist and I'm glad you shared your input about it because some people think they don't need to see one when in reality you shared some valid explanations why someone should. Continue being so beautiful inside and out

[@oosofreshiee]

I stumbled upon this video accidentally but I'm so glad I stayed til the end! Mental health is super important & honestly it really is hard sometimes to spew out all your problems to your loved ones.. I've never gone to a therapist but maybe in the future I'll consider going to one :) Thanks Jenn!

[@latartesourde]

I genuinely wholeheartedly loved this video. Thank you for sharing your journey and sharing this grueling process and the thoughts you’ve had along the way. I haven’t seen a therapist but this still struck a chord with me because I’m also Asian American and have similar feelings of wanting to take care of my parents, and not wanting to word vomit to my SO and then worrying whether what I’ve said burdens him even a tiny bit, and I’m also afraid of never finding the right one and constantly replaying my life story and crying. Your story is encouraging and thank you for sharing ❤️ I hope you continue to heal and achieve what you’re looking for!

[@aisham5646]

an extremely helpful video. I have been thinking about considering mental therapy for more than 4 years now, and I am finally having the courage to do so. thanks Jenn

[@BH-jt9ul]

Yes Jenn! I'm currently looking for a new therapist now because my old one had a lot of the same red flags as the one you talked about. And I mean I like her as a person but she talks more about her family and her life than I get to about mine and minimizes most of the problems I have and she always changes the subject when I talk to her about really serious issues I'm dealing with. And I felt like nothing was getting fixed and I'm always open to new ways to fix things but it just wasn't working with her. Thank you for posting this because it's so relevant to my life right now and I'm happy for you that you found a therapist that works for you.

[@Liierenify]

"i´ve there´s an open bar i´m like H-H" the zoom in and face is so hilarious i´m crying from laughing xD. You´re awesome, thank you for sharing your insight on therapy! I think we can use a lot more of that!

[@annasalminen9600]

Thank you for making this kind of video about mental health. I feel that videos like this, where you just talk in a really friendly and warm kinda way about mental health will help other people talk about their issues and reduce the stigma around the subject. So thank you for making the world a better place for all of us and showing some good example

[@cottoncandyflossful]

I'm chinese and I relate to your worries about not being able to support my parents after they retire SO MUCH. As asians I guess it's rooted in our minds and upbringing that while we are young, we are our parents' responsibilities but when they get old, they are our responsibility no matter what your economic status is. That therapist asking you to cut ties with your parents could probably be seen as the worst of all sins through the Chinese perspective and being unfilial.

[@CallMeCarolyn]

thats why a pension exists? Why are you worrying so much

[@shutupshutup]

CallMeCarolyn its not just financially you also want to be there for them emotionally and physically. I guess you can see that in people who put their parents in nursery homes vs people who have their parents live with them. This burden is a duty in every aspect of your life bc your parents have given so much to you and you want to give that back

[@susanchristopher9439]

Many immigrant parents work at jobs that don't provide pensions or retirement plans, ect. They literally work long hours with no vacation, sick days ect at low paying jobs to provide for a better future for their kids, which is why their kids often want to succeed to provide for their parents to return the favor.

[@cottoncandyflossful]

Many countries do not have well-founded pension schemes like the US does. Plus it's not just about the money, it is about being there for them, and taking care of them while they are sick. For example, many parents will get really upset when they are sent to nursing homes because its sort of like their children given up on taking care of them. This is what Asians see as the duty of a son/daughter.

[@yoLizalibre]

Hi Jenn! As someone who is getting a degree in social work I am aware of the struggles people go through finding a therapist and relating to them. Currently I counsel middle and high school students and find it very gratifying when they build rapport with me and in turn teach me things as well. Everything you said about finding a therapist is so important and I'm glad the one you stuck with could give you everything you needed to hear and guide you to your own solutions. Also an an Asian American myself, being culturally competent is so sooo necessary when working with all clients not just people of color. I'm very happy for you and wish you wonderful healing and journey full of growth 😊💕💕💕

[@mereani]

Yay Jenn! I've been going to therapy the same time you have. I completely agree - having a POC therapist has helped me too. Especially with complexities of being a child of immigrant parents and how culture and tradition affect us but we're living in a western society 😩 I definitely feel ya on the burden of giving back to your parents because of their sacrifices. Thank you for sharing your experiences xx 💕💕

[@annwen4791]

I love that we're talking about mental health on your channel now, this means so much, especially on your large platform. I find it really interesting that you personally benefit from having a therapist who looks and comes from the same cultural background as you do, and I'm sure that's the case for many people. My previous therapists have all been men, which I've liked a lot! While sometimes they may not have gone through the same experiences, I find that having had male therapists, I have male role models who show me that men aren't terrible, awful people and that people who are vastly different from you can show the greatest amounts of empathy and can still relate to the human experiences you go through. Currently on my 4th year of therapy and very excited to keep on living my best life.