Co-Parenting - When You Hate Your Child's Father (or Mother)

[@speakintothemicb]

I don't hate my child's father, but I truly dislike him as a person. His lack of morals and values just gets under my skin.

[@TheSpiker4sure]

To bad it "didn't get under your skin" before you spent all that time fucking without precautions.

[@mirellehernandez5174]

Sometimes people know how to pretend to be someone their not and see their true colors too late

[@chantaldavis1341]

Are you kidding??? Who are you to judge this woman. You don’t know her situation Soike! Spike! Really???

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

Chantal Davis yea because women are never accountable for their bs and are very narcissistic.In 39 years I’ve NEVER heard a female say they were wrong,never heard a female TRULY apologize this feminist society done messed up a lot of females mentality

[@isaiahfreeman]

Melanin Aristocrats it could be women are like this. Or you invite these type of women or this type of behavior in your life. Considering my experience I’d say the latter.

[@krm6029]

If someone treats anyone wrongly (abuse, lie, mislead, bully ect), they may may have poor core values and that will reflect on upbringing and sulpting of the child.

[@kingsdaughter83]

I have some very STRONG mixed feelings about this. While yes, I agree that the hurt needs to be healed (not for anyone else-but for yourself); I do believe we are parents for a reason. We are not here just to make sure our kids go to school, get fed, and have a roof over our heads. It is also our job, our DUTY to protect them emotionally and SPIRITUALLY! I notice that the whole well being of the child is usually not taken into account when it comes to these visitation court battles (I have had my battles with the court regarding this topic). To save face, I have seen where the court would allow a parent who was missing in action (for 10-11 years) to just pop up and try to get joint custody. No trust building between the parents was mandated, NOTHING!! Not even a mandate to go to counseling TOGETHER to build the trust. So as a parent, because some person (who doesn’t know anything of what is going on) with a gavel says the random parent should have free access to something that is CHERISHED; how logical is that? WOULD YOU HAND OVER YOUR MOST CHERISHED POSSESSION TO JUST ANYONE?? And most would say the cliche’ response of “Oh well! You didn’t trust him, you shouldn’t have procreated with him/her” which to me is the most IGNORANT response. People lie, people live double lives. In most cases, you find out too late! Is there anyone in this comment thread who 1. Studied law and 2. Are single parents with difficulty of co-parenting? It’s easy to STATE what SHOULD be done, but YOU yourself (not watching someone ELSE) doing it, are two different stories.

[@COJAMALIK]

there is a bad trend in the country that is bad for good moms the "bitter baby momma offense". The best defense is a good offense. Lets chat [e-mail]

[@nasheias]

To answer your question. Yes I studied the law and I am a single mom that is coparenting. I’m actually a family law attorney so I understand this from a personal and professional perspective.

[@monetjade]

@@nasheiasis the person you are coparenting with toxic? do you have any advice on how to navigate situation?

[@nasheias]

@@monetjade Yes, although it has gotten a lot better. I pray to God for strength and to fight my battles on my behalf and he does! I also, put boundaries in place and stay connected to my support group. The most freeing thing I learned was that I cannot control anyone but myself and that it will not be perfect but I will get through it!

[@monetjade]

@@nasheiasHmm okay. Thank you. I believe this is what I need to do truthfully lol and I am coming to learn that hard lesson of not being able to control aspects of my life. I will give prayer a go again and see what happens… If you don’t mind sharing … were the boundaries you set up concerning your relationship status? Also, did you ever get any official parties involved? My son is 2 months old now and I’m already seeing some patterns of “if my ex doesn’t get his way” then he starts to act out. While I can’t control him, I’m wondering if any sort of system can help us for the sake of my son and his emotional health.

[@Alkemmiztt]

My child's father is a narcissist & his family, current girlfriend all used to gang up on me. Saying I kept my son away which eventually I did start doing because I felt it was in his best interest whilst trying to get my head together after he discarded us. I can say today I'm completely over the relationship. I was granted supervised visits but I like his gf so I started trusting to allow my son to spend nights with them. Now he demands me to do things his way or he will just show up or go through a family member to get his way. I'm tired of him and trying to make sure my son does get to have a relationship with his dad but I cannot stand it. Way too many people in his head telling people I wouldn't let him see him after he decided not to come around and even now he does minimal but I don't care just fed up with people making it seem like the child's mother is bitter. Some of us are tired

[@Shanshanmoon]

👏🏾👏🏾

[@COJAMALIK]

[e-mail]

[@tamunosakiwestscott-bloack2229]

Are you medically qualified to diagnose anyone as a narcissist? Because it could just as easily be assumed that you have a cluster be personality which lends itself to depression, anxiety and paranoia e.g Schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder etc ( 90 percent female sufferers). See how easy that is? He could just as easily Accuse you Of all of the above in a family court.

[@niccicalin3972]

when the behaviors that kept him from being a good husband turn out to be the same behaviors that prevent him from being a good father... the resentment is justified.

[@GailAmalfitano]

But your resentment doesn't justify you robbing your child of having a relationship with their parent just because you and your marriage did not work out, you have to let your child have the chance to have a relationship with the other parent even if you no longer have one.

[@antoinettescott8990]

Ok. What if the father is a narcicist and abusive and a stalker? Then what? What about if the father has a personality disorder that doesnt allow empathy for others including children?

[@Alkemmiztt]

right that's what I'm going through

[@krystingrant6292]

I'm dealing with a narcissist

[@robertllamas2494]

4real man talk about that

[@DejiJoshua]

Antoinette Scott you need to chill I’m sure he’s fine. All you guys are the same over dramatic he worries about his kids he’ll be cool. In fact I’m sure now a year on you see things another way.

[@jimcole6423]

Was the father diagnosed by a mental health provider that has specific training in narcissim?

[@trispr]

This works on people who aren’t with Narcissistic. However, I do agree that at some point, the hurt needs to be let go.

[@Gabbyhearts7]

There should be no public to display of dislike. The kid will figure it out. Because how you show up as a partner, is how you show up as a person, is how you show up as a parent. Period.

[@italiancapo7]

I hate my child’s mother. She is no where around. I completely and entirely raise my child alone.

[@claudia3539]

It’s okay to hate lol. Same here. I also knew of another woman that Abandon his son with his father. Took off with another man 👨 and left the dad with the entire responsibility. How can you not hate this people

[@sholacreighton8610]

Even though my daughter's dad hurt me I never put that negativity on my daughter when it came to her father cause I know the type of relationship they have. Couldn't and wouldn't break that bond. All I can say we became good co parents. I never had to beg him to do anything for her cause he did it anyways even when he got a 2 bedroom for him and her cause she spent more than just weekends with him she spent holidays, birthdays, even school days cause he took her to school.

[@kayodeademola893]

Nice of u

[@jenniferd9094]

What if they abused you and they are constantly talking about you calling you names in front of you're child not just him but his new girlfriend my daughter tells me she's sad because they are bullying me and trust me I speak to her and I tell her they were just joking but she's 6 now and they are still doing it trying to get a reaction from me but I won't do it I'm in a good space now.

[@merissavgrayson]

Hi! Thanks for watching. People can only act "crazy" for so long without a reaction...so I think it's good that you don't feed into the drama. It'll die down at some point. But until then, if you already have a custody case open, you can maybe request that the court make orders that the custody exchanges occur at a public place or even police station if necessary so the harassment will stop and so you and your child will feel safe. Either way, your child sees everything and will understand when she's older why you chose to take the high road. :)

[@chantaldavis1341]

What about when he makes bad decisions in the present that affects your children?

[@sloganfreesociety]

Question: You say that just because he cheated, that doesn’t make him a bad parent. I don’t understand this. He put his personal desires before ALL of us. He abandoned his promise; I would never have married and had his children if I had thought it possible for him to behave this way and break up the family. I was raised with two parents (married 50 years this December). I can’t believe that I am now a parent within a broken home. This is so unfair to our children, and it was all his choice and his doing. He found a new partner while I thought we were happily married; she is totally inappropriate as a “step-mom.” Does a “good father” destroy the stable home of his children, traumatize their mother, and chose a new partner who is a child herself and completely disinterested in his children? How do his choices not make him a bad father?

[@christinewarren8134]

Girl same here! Literally. Cheated for 2 years with a co worker 10 years younger than us. When I found out and put him out and didnt listen to his begging, he ran off with her and never told me and I found out other ways. Now I have to co parent our 2 year old with this monster and the woman who knew about our family and didnt care and wrecked it. This was just a year ago.

[@Pookiesonly]

I like what you said. Its hard to admit but I think I'm guilty of doing some of the things you speak about in this video because of the horrible things my daughter's father did to me. My daughter is two and sees her father every other weekend. We have no court agreement. Our fighting has already impacted her relationship with her father. The one thing I want is space to heal, seek help, etc so I can let go, move on but I feel trapped because I have to deal with him. What advice can you give that I could cut contact with him for a few months so I may seek help that wouldn't take my daughter away from seeing him.

[@georginab1126]

Ms Weaser this exactly how i feel

[@krystingrant6292]

Similar after today I don't even want to see him.

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

Ms Weaser I’m sure you did as many things to him

[@DejiJoshua]

Forgiveness. The difference between success and failure: nobody on the internet cares if you don’t reconcile. Create the best relationship for your daughter and encourage him to change for your kids too

[@cocot9414]

Maybe enlist the help of a trusted family member. Be honest with your significant other tell them you need time to heal from your personal relationship so you can be a better coparent. Filter the communication through the family member. Let the family member's house be the pick up and drop off. While working on yourself with the help of a therapist.

[@nicolee1005]

How to deal with a baby dad whos part time he comes to see get our daughter for a day then disappears for months and when she asks for him i txt him and ask if he can come get her for the weekend amd he makes excuses and it hurts our daughter bc she knows him and want to spend time but he only wants to see her when he wants and i dont like it i tried talking to him nothing works so i just had enough

[@btfields323]

Helped a lot cuz I hate him with a passion.

[@HelpMe-kj2kh]

Bc you still love him

[@firesign4297]

Brandie Fields 🙏🙇‍♀️🙏

[@krystingrant6292]

Same.

[@queenofhearts1138]

I am trying really hard not to allow my feelings to interfere. It is a much bigger task than I can get a handle on at the moment. At the time, the father has not seen the child in 2 years he's mad at the manner in which I left the state we were living in. I admit, it was shady. 2 years in the new state, he has not sent a dime of help out of his anger towards me which has greatly impacted my mental health, and my stress levels of course. WE are both deadlocked in anger towards eachother its not getting better or easier.

[@t1i9m9r5]

My daughters mother found someone else and has built such a disrespect for me and will laugh when I come to her with any concerns and questions and is skeptical of everything I do even if I’m trying my best and it infuriates me. Of course I don’t lash out but it literally angers me more than anything else in this world.

[@electricescape1190]

She should never treat you any different because she met someone else..I'm going through a similar situation and it isn't right.

[@ladyshine1229]

I enjoyed the video. My child's father was in prison when my or (our) daughter was born, got out 9 years ago and has showed up on facebook out of the blue asking to meet and speak with my or (our) 13 year old disabled daughter. He was extremely abusive throughout our marriage so this is my nightmare come true. But I want to do what is best for my or (our) daughter. It is hard to see him as her father because she has always been just my daughter. I go through those feelings of : I am the one who birthed her alone, I have fed her, taken her to all the appointments, provided for her, tended to her special needs, taught her how to talk and walk, and been her strength. And now I feel this man is swooping out of nowhere to take my place. It's a painful process.

[@VBGCgirl1]

He will never take your place, that’s not even a question. I know it’s hard to let go, but if he is good to her then her happiness is all that matters. You will always be her mother, you are not losing her, you are just giving her something extra in her life.

[@sonofapollo5892]

Let the girl visit her father and don't be selfish.

[@musicrocksinaustin]

I beg to differ. When the ex was physically and mentally abusive and still abuses through temporary court orders and has violated them multiple times, lies still even with evidence against him and even lies about what my attorney did / did not do, and clearly refuses to cooperate in writingregarding our son....all well after I left him....he IS PROOVING himself still that horrible person.

[@merissavgrayson]

Sometimes, It's just not possible, no matter how hard you try and until the other person gets the professional help that is needed. This would be one of the exceptions.

[@eddieknows1538]

Alicia Mapp Thst is just awful and it sounds like your dealing with a narcissist. The mother of my child is a narcissist, and she is relentlessly lying and manipulating and abusing every chance she gets.

[@musicrocksinaustin]

Eddie Knows oh yes I KNOW mine is! LOL😁 Hang in there. I’m barely starting to move on but I still suffer from depression and PTSD. And I now am no contact and don’t exchange ANY words during my exchanges. I now do not even include him on any updates about our child. I just stay away...when you least expect it I’ll get name calling and threats, and it just ruins my day as to how anyone could be like this. What did I do to deserve such torment?

[@eddieknows1538]

Alicia Mapp ya I ask myself that same question all the time. I have anxiety from it but I did find thst eating very healthy and exercise help me with that. Narcissism is a horrible disorder,and I wish it didn't exist.

[@Gingerbread_21]

The material in this video is important and helpful information, but the editing distracts me

[@DionneKaliisa]

Ok I know that this video has been up for a while, but i wanted to know what do you do when the father hasn't really helped financially and only comes when it suits them? I have tried to have days set but he has refused and on days that he arranges to come he lies about having been in court from morning till late at night. He says he should be able to come when he likes and that I am putting blocks on his access?

[@merissavgrayson]

+Dionneseverydaylife Thanks for watching. Sounds like you're dealing with an erratic dad. I have tips for days on how to combat this issue in my book, The Business of Co-Parenting for Moms ( bit.ly/merissaamazon ), but in short, you would start by establishing a custody case and obtaining formal visitation orders. There are a few ways to accomplish this (mediation or filing a motion in your court are the most common). Formal orders will establish a set schedule legally and minimize the back and forth as well as create more stability and certainty for you and your son. My book also goes into that process in more detail. You can also find some articles on my website, www.americasblendedfamilyexpert.com or skim through my video feed on here for more videos on the process. :)

[@BeautifulQueona]

This is my situation now!! Her dad come whenever he wants, usually late at night, and it’s frustrating because if I say no, I’m keeping him from his child but if I keep letting this go on then he just walks all over me.

[@rosa629]

I also have similar case Dionne ....I am a single mum and its so painful... am so sorry for my son...his dad hasnt helped anything and he has never seen him,... he is 1yr old

[@alexisgreen-hernandez8099]

This can be so hard sometimes especially when the other parent doesnt want to talk to you about co-parenting with you and wont let you leave. Nonetheless you have made some very valuable points thanks for sharing.I am so glad you have presented this video Thank you wishing you all the best take care.😇😎🌹🌹💐😎

[@Jblasian8]

Omg this Is true. You want to coparent but they keep insinuating a relationship

[@niajacobis8145]

I watch the video and i admit that i'm guilty of everything that was said my daughter she's two and looks everything like her father but attitude wise she's everything like me......so even if i say i hate him i can't say it without feeling like i'm hurting my own child and it hurts it pains so bad that words cant express how i feel inside i give my child father all of me my time, my love, my virginity and i give him a child i put my career on hold to take proper care of our child and he lied and cheated and now i'm expect to trust him and co-parent with him it hurts so bad being in the same room with him i cant pretend like everything is all good and well knowing to myself that i'm hurting i love my child with all my heart but i feel trapped i feel like i'm in a closed up room and the walls are slowly closing in......i get this build up anger inside me that i cuss him out and wished him dead to his face i know to myself i didn't mean it but just to hurt him i said it......my child father if he wants to spend time with our daughter he can come and see her at my home for couple hour 2 to 3 the most or he can take her by his grandmother of which i call to find out that he is taking my child there.....i am traveling soon and will be taking my child with me and I'm seriously thinking about cutting off all connection with him and our daughter and when she gets older if she feels like knowing who her father is she would find him........I cant co-parent with him he hurt me too much for me to act like we i don't want him around our daughter regardless of him being my child father.

[@niajacobis8145]

I can and would never forgive my child father for all the horrible things that was said and he did to me.......its really messy and i have no respect for him anymore so i'm not gonna even try to separate the two different personality he has.....i'm not gonna give him the opportunity to hurt my child

[@vibes5]

I am in the same situation as well.. I tried for the first time yesterday to let him see our son and it wasnt a good experience to be around him... i feel i need more time, but trying to be their for my son and his needs for his father.. its been 6 months and i still did want to be around him.. the only thing i asked of him was to not have my son around his girlfriend and i could not get that respect... i feel we cant co parent either.

[@BillionaireBombshell]

You need to put your child’s needs feelings and mental health before your own hurt feelings unless you don’t care if later she ends up hating you for keeping her from her father. Once you have a child it’s the child you have to put first, it’s not all about how you feel anymore. You can move on to someone else and will eventually get over him.

[@glamourinc]

I hate my childs father. He lied about having a girlfriend. I got pregnant. He said he wanted to work it out with me than two days ago said he wants to be back with his ex, out the blue. He is a dirt bag. I'm pregnant. He stresses me out intentionally. I don't want him in her life. He has said he wanted to sign his rights away and then states he wants to be apart of there life. Than goes back to telling me to abort or sign his rights over. That's what makes me sad.

[@katiebernal9514]

Great advice. Thank you so much. 👍

[@merissavgrayson]

+Katae Bernal Thank you for watching! :)

[@deimonigaddis7482]

I feel like he his a bad person tho ,a cheater is a bad person so 🤷🏾‍♀️ I would never speak good about my sons dad to my son unless he gives me something good to speak about

[@Que772]

None of that helps been there done that and I'm ready to drop the children off with him, pay child support and move on with my life

[@DeShaune1290]

GIRL I FUCKING FEEL YOU!!!

[@northshootingstar]

thank you so much I needed this today. Bless you

[@TANKTKO]

What an excellent video

[@rodgerbobbyful]

I really enjoyed that because I'm going to the same problem with my ex-wife always talking about my past always talking about the relationship not being able to move on always being insecure and fighting with me acting like we're still a couple just everything that you talked about hit on everything I mean every subject you need it I'm not the best parent but I have been trying not to say negative stuff about their mother because I've had the same experience in the past with my son and that hurt his feelings just like you said he lashed out and I don't want to have the same problem you know he forgives me he understands now that I did what I did was for to benefit him in the long run he's a good kid but I don't want to do the same thing with my two daughters I don't want to make the same mistake by saying negative stuff or have him hate me and think I'm the one trying to keep them away I just want to say thank you for that advice because it's free thank you God bless

[@tonesheist8673]

So many people need to see this

[@COJAMALIK]

U forget co parenting takes cooperation. Where is the concept of parallel parenting. The "bitter baby momma" offense is at play. I never forget having to met my daughter's father at gas station/truck stop in the middle of nowhere and having just a cellphone to hold in one hand and a 1 year old daughter in the other hand. Things were escalating, the dad was calling me a bitch during exchanges and the judge refused to give me a hearing to simply change the exchange site, not stop time sharing. Once a mother is accused of being "a bitter baby momma", no proof is required. It took me jumping thru hoops and so =me really unbelievable things to keep the unimaginable from happening or my daughter would have been gone 8 years ago. I trusted my gut, was viewed as bitter by courts but that was in June/July 2013 and that man has not contacted the daughter he wanted custody; not a phone call, or an email. The father came back into the country after leaving in 2013 at least 2.5 years ago, is in the same state and has not contacted my daughter and I am glad. I am owed probably $70,000-$90,000 and I won't go to court because the drama in my daughter's life is not worth it. It is a shame that women are painted with a scarlet B for bitter and avoid pursuing financial support out of fear. I literally had to email this man for a couple years to ask if he was gonna exercise his time sharing and file the emails in the court record because he can return at anytime and make allegations the court accepts with out an ounce of proof other than oral lies. I have advocated for police and sheriff dept lobbies that are open 24/7 a time sharing exchanges and not one legislator will sponsor a bill. It amazes me I can go to the hospital I gave birth to my daughter in on 12/25/2011 and tell you the time the examined me, my blood pressure and and heart rate but we don't have any idea what happens or records in the majority of family hearings. In Palm Beach County courtrooms ALL courts rooms have the ability to record family hearings but judges decline. After a Palm Beach County judge got caught behaving badly ALL family court judges stopped recording because it is at the judges "discretion". kzbin.info/www/bejne/mam8dHt6osmKm8U I learned of this judges's actions when he bragged in an emergency hearing "you can always hear me just watch KZbin" and so I did. I hired the female attorney in the video and he had to recuse himself from my case b4 entering an illegal modification of custody ruling because there was never any filing for modification of custody. We know a judge cannot grant what has not been plead for but it would have beena moot issue because my daughter would have been in a no Hague Convention country. Why wouldn't a judge want a accurate record of what took place in hearings, how can prior testimony be disputed and perjuries caught without testimony being preserved? PARALLEL PARENTING IS A BETTER OPTION FOR HIGH CONFLICT CUSTODY CASES

[@Darkmetamorphosis1]

It has been a long time... There is no way this seething hate will ever dissipate, I've tried to somehow get along but there is no way I can... It just never will happen no matter what, I love my son, I wanted to be able to but she is a horrible mother, a worst person... How do you go about that?

[@takayonni]

So what about when ur trying to coparent with the parent and they never do what they agree to? What are my rights? Cuz like he says if I take him to court they can’t make him do nothing but pay. So what are my options because now I do not allow him in my house period.

[@JaimeSolis-e2l]

Thanks you.

[@merissavgrayson]

Always welcome

[@sunnigazelle9733]

God bless the woman with a sound mind! Ok time to spill tea laddies and gents. My biggest struggle with my childs father was his lack of maturity drive and dishonesty. My entire pregnancy was a shit show, my living condition was a shit fest, add multiple females to that equation and thus I proudly took the title for Worlds Most Furious Scorned Unstable Bitch. I fell in love with a hypocrite, but i cant help who i love, its like im a sucker for the broken wounded guy who needs help, but now I realize THATS NOT MY DAMN PROBLEM. It does get better but never be ashamed to vent, once you let it out leave it where it is. So heres my let out, i really dont understand how you can take on someone elses kids but not do whats necessary for your own and at this point child support is a joke but respect is a must. Anybody else in a similar ship? Because i know im not sailing on my own.Huge thanks to this video becayse my saying to all single mothers woth not so great fathers is dont be bitter be better! Focus on parenting and the love your child produces for you is unlike any love you will ever have.

[@BabyMamaDramaFixwithDrZoe]

Hey there!! Excellent tips!

[@Hypnotikshiva]

I'll say this, I'd hope I get a judge with your mentality when it came time to final custody hearing.

[@kendraphic87]

Thank you. It's not about me. Irregardless of how he treated me, my daughter deserves to have a relationship with her dad. My daughter will be one next week and things have gotten so hard. I just want to get along.

[@ladiithump3r420]

I disagree, especially about the part where ur saying if u hate the other parent that the child will feel as if u hate them too. I absolutely hate my bd with a passion, but my child knows I love them with all my heart, I don't talk bad about my bd to my child, but wen me n my bd communicate all hell breaks loose. My bd is a liar and a narcissist, he's very convincing to other people, but when something don't go his way he throws a bitch fit threatens me and my children. And u say that w.e happens in ur relationship has nothing to do with the child, but that's only True in some cases, in cases of abuse it has a big effect. It seems like ur not speaking from personal experience to me in this video, and people who have been thru this I feel like will not really listen if they think u can't really relate to it.

[@jasminefletcher7493]

I does actually have to do with my child. On his first visit with her in 5 years. He told her she was faking her medical issues. Him& his wife were also fighting so loud upstairs that it caused my daughter to have what she called heart attack( panic/ anxiety attack) she's never said that before or experienced it before but the courts don't care & there's no way for me to protect her. He's a manipulative, narcissistic person.

[@NajaHall]

Great video!

[@hollywoodhawkins7]

Look at the women justify why they won't let a child see the father

[@Awalkwithbella]

What would someone advise if your ex you share children wants to be around when your trying to spend time when you are with your children and you tell them I just want to pick my kids up and spend time and that's it without them included

[@busylizzie9476]

What do you do if the parent disappears for over 5 years then wants to be in the picture again.

[@merissavgrayson]

Reunification therapy is a good place to start. It serves as a safe space for the child and holds the parent accountable by requiring them to do the work needed to build/rebuild the relationship.

[@tiffanygrizzle9061]

It’s so hard because I left my child’s father because he didn’t show me any respect. Ex. His kids lived with him and he would never step-up to them if they disrespected me. One of the kids would not even speak to me for months and we both live in the same household, which I find that to be very toxic. Baby momma drama. Anyway I left because I didn’t want our son thinking these things are “normal”. So his mad that we are not together and I never asked anything from him, but wanted to take our son on vacation and he said no. Which is very selfish. I know he did ask me the same at one point and I said no because of the covid virus at the time was very high. I feel so bad my son has to experience life like this. He’s made because he can’t control me anymore so the only thing he can control is this. I have primary and he has partial. 😔

[@kenziealex2341]

Thank you for this. My baby does/ did cocaine for many years. It’s very hard to trust him with our child. I feel like I always need to be there and be watching him. But that’s not fair to any of us :(

[@Idc87283]

same😢

[@CatCat-hc8dr]

I completely hate my childs father. He kept begging me to have his baby and that he wanted to marry me and move in with me. Instead he disappeared when I was 3 months pregnant over a little argument that his cousin started. He returned when I was nearly 7 months pregnant and I despised him since then. After he returned he was completely happy and attended the second scan and supported me for the rest of the pregnancy, untill I had the baby he became distant and only came to my house to bring something or fix something. Then after his parents told him how bad he looks he tried to start supporting me again but it was short lived. Now he keeps doing the same stuff and I hate him. I wish I never met him. Everyone kept telling me what a good person he was when they introduced us. Now I know they were lying

[@veronicajones948]

I’m in a situation. It’s a immature situation actually me and my baby father are not together we only talk in regards of her. Recently I just made arrangements that he can get his daughter a day before her birthday because I want to be able to celebrate her bday .. in peace with no werid vibes or nun of that. So he’s get her every Tuesday and Wednesday because I have school and he normally get her on Saturday’s or Sunday’s so he preceded to say to me “ well since I’m not seeing my daughter on her bday I can’t help you baby sit for school” I went off completely cussing him OUT calling him names because that is beyond fucking pathetic to me. Am I wrong for because I don’t want to be around him on. Our daughter bday. As you can see is werid vibes and the energy is terrible why put my self in the situation where our baby is looking at it and babies can feel .. energy too like. I understand he don’t wanna miss her bday and everything but for the sake of her space and for her bday why let that be werid ???

[@kkbffeae]

I love this so much!!! What happens if the child gets older and he/she starts wondering why her parents aren't together and asks? What would be a good thing to say to them without getting them upset or hurting their feelings?

[@merissavgrayson]

Hi! Thanks for watching. It's inevitable that the child will ask at some point. There are so many ways to explain...it really depends on the child, but one of the easiest ways is to just explain that sometimes people change or grow apart and decide that they no longer want to be together. I encourage parents to emphasize that "this doesn't mean that mommy and daddy don't love you" ...whatever you do, make sure you never point the blame about why you're not together anymore or say negative/disparging things about the other parent.

[@lovelysmile1906]

+Merissa V. Grayson, Esq. that's for that advice my daughter is 1 years old and I always wonder what I will say to her when she asks

[@cupcakes_nkisses2446]

Omg this was helpful because I truly hate my children’s father he caused so much pain an hurt in my life I don’t care to even look at him. I have two fathers for my set of children but the first dad I don’t have a problem with he sees his son we get along just fine, the other father I hate an don’t won’t him around me or my kids what to do

[@user00-s8u]

Hmm how about when he was physically abusive throughout the relationship AND a cheater? Everyone is telling me to cut him out the picture but I don't know if that would actually benefit my child or not?!

[@breannaa9455]

Brittany same...

[@sugahoney89]

Cut him out, you are his mother. Someone told me that when people are on their deathbed, most people say/whisper/yell out mommy. We are lifebringers, joybringers, protectors, protect your child by protecting your sanity!

[@shanaestrachan1395]

Cut him out of the picture. You shouldn't put up with anything/anyone TOXIC for the sake of that being the child's father. Toxic is Toxic💯

[@killanumba23]

How about don’t ask strangers on the internet

[@linnycupcakes7912]

The problem I have is the dad feels entitled to sleep over here.

[@merissavgrayson]

Oh wow! That's problematic if it's unwanted. Sounds like you have a boundary issue that needs to be addressed 😫

[@Serenityafterall]

Let go and allow God to handle it. I am so glad my daughter is not like that. Some men are just deadbeat,period. Carry on......💃

[@italiancapo7]

Some women are deadbeats. I raise my child entirely on my own. She’s no where around.

[@misssugah2355]

I'm trying to work with my child father. He's making it hard for me to work. I need help watching her so I can pay for stuff now I'm forced to do child support

[@OGTripzOG]

Ur speaking facts , please help me 😭

[@elielisrael8187]

I am my father! . . .and mother and thats yo shit

[@Kitathegang]

I hate my sons father I think more then anyone ever hated someone. I hate his walk the way he’s built, what he says to me, how he says what he says to me like I’m a piece of shit mom because I ask him to get his son more or anything that will mess up what he has going on. He’s always flipping shit on me, I left him before I had my son turned out to be his I was 17 And ended up keeping him. I had a abortion at 16 with his child also. Now he says just let the 9 year old son live with me. Well then if that’s the case why can’t you get him More. He has one child I have 3 and one on the way ugh pitiful

[@nunyabizness3692]

I can say I'm mad at myself for laying down with my baby daddy.. It takes 2 so I'm partially to blame.. I dont regret my daughter but I hate him.. He is currently in jail.. And has the nerve to ask for help with his legal fees... What kind of man does that? I'm going on 7 months and he is on his way to prison for a few years...He never had respect for me and I know a baby won't change that... So I'm focusing on my daughter.. She is what I live for .

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

Nunya Bizness I’m sure it’s more that you’re not saying stop acting innocent as you chicks always do 🙄

[@Idecorateeyes]

It’s been 2 yrs sense my sons farther and have been broken up it’s has a whole relationship with another female and she is so disrespectful and he just recently ask me and are son to come to his mom for thanks giving dinner and I left and let my son spend time and I let him Also go with the dad and girlfriend to his house befor that his dad said he wanted us to have a relationship and try again and my silly self fell for it only to here that he’s really not ready so I’ve gotten in my feelings again now he wants to get are son for Christmas 🎄 and I don’t want to be the bitter parent wear I say no becuz of my hurt but I did planed a nice Christmas gathering for my son and his cousins should I let my son go and spend it with his dad and girl friend or should I just continue with are little party 🎉 I’m sooo 😡 that his farther lies to Me

[@jmika58]

What if u have no feeling towards yr child father u just tired of him in and out yr childs life......

[@hebrewisraelite9714]

It takes 2 to mess up a marriage and not saying a man is right for cheating but if a women is taring that man down for yrs & yrs an that man does not know how to deal with that type of pain he's he's receiving hes going to find someone that will listen and that understand his pain and just because u don't cheat dont mean t hares no other way u can't be a horrible person in a marriage its plenty of ways men just get fed up with bullshit and it's not easy to just walk away

[@firesign4297]

Always REMEMBER My Sistas❤: HE is HALF of your child❤ .. So find FORGIVNESS🙏❤🙏... So YOU.. can TRULY LOVE❤ your CHILD! ❤❤❤...TRULY AND COMPLETELY...with NONE of those...HATE...Ties/Strings...ATTACHED.... ok ladies🙇‍♀️❤🙇‍♀️.... From... a Sista❤ from..Bed-Sty Brooklyn N.Y.🤗

[@Divinedefinition]

Parents need to come back to themselves first, as individuals, FORGIVE THEMSELVES of the wrong choises. Then, look into the love for their child.

[@Betterme4lf]

@@Divinedefinition yup my kids father was definitely wrong choices in my young mind not knowing better. No way would they be on radar today

[@krystingrant6292]

I hate him with a passion. I really do because this person is compromising my health I'm done. I had a stroke and I refuse to let him kill me off

[@antoinecromer8255]

Mom and Dad can you please help me

[@rainslay8835]

What about when you leave the mother alone and she uses the child to spite you like taking visits away on top of constantly harassing you. Don’t even want to speak to the woman

[@elmalanmalan2175]

I was a cheater but i was a good father. Now i struggle to see my 3kids i know i was not a good husband but my ex wife tells me my oldest son refuse to see me. I'm really sad because i really want to keep a good relationship with them.

[@sugahoney89]

You should have thought of that when you were cheating...oh well...

[@elmalanmalan2175]

@@ursamajor6347 i disagree I cheated because I wanted more sexual satisfaction but as father I always took time to spend time with them and my family . But that's the past now I'm suffering the consequences of my actions I know I did wrong but I still and always love my children.

[@elmalanmalan2175]

@@ursamajor6347 do you think this conversation was about proving a point? I was just being honest about what I did It wasn't about me being happy about my behavior. you sound like you are a perfect human being that don't have any flaws. I end this conversation with you I wasted my time talking with a stranger.

[@nicolecav1359]

So my babydaddy hates me that's what I got from his gf I know that's false like how can you hate someone & your baby's got the sake dna as the person you hate if that was the case he would've never occasionally visited our child so why lie

[@nm313i12]

This video applies where it applies. But why my baby daddy send me this, it’s about raising your child. Whew Chileee I don’t hate u, but it’s more to sending money and this was my response “Lmfao the thing is , I will never say someone is a horrible father becuase they cheated or we didn’t work out. You as a person and your intentions and being a narcissist did that. 😩 it speaks for itself. The father of the child being bitter and accusing the woman of not doing anything . Becuase he sits on his ass sending money, not raising his child that’s the difference 🤣 we’re not talking about when a woman hates her baby daddy or vise versa becuase of there relationship not working out. My baby daddy is going to be in his sons life regardless of our relationship status, and he will contribute to a healthy child and relationship like any parent. He will make sacrifices as the woman would do BECUASE SHE BARED THIS CHILD but THE FATHER DAMN SURE HAS THE SAME RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES. That’s what these men don’t understand. So that doesn’t mean u feel some type of way becuase one parent isn’t where they need to be. YOU GRIND TOGETHER FOR YOUR CHILD, u make sure y’all both good. FOR YOUR CHILDS SAKE 🙄🗣 I ain’t saying it again love. Don’t think I hate u

[@LydellAaron]

You want to love your partner (or ex) even though their behaviors might be difficult. Try really hard! The reasoning is that practicing love towards your current or ex partner is good practice for loving your child if they behave similarly to that partner.

[@inDTM]

Seems like society is bent on normalizing dehumanizing mothers who are single or Black. This whole phrase of separate yourself from the kid (more so for young kids) is illogical. More specifically, for young children- the mother & child bond is strong because the physical and spiritual act of bringing life into the world is still felt deeply- not to mention that the mother is the primary caregiver if not sole caregiver. There is a deep psychosomatic and physiological evolution-based link that facilitates strong bonding to encourage protection and caregiving from the mom- SO to tell a mom to “separate” herself from the child is western-white washed and parasitic. Children at any age are dependent on their caregiver for resources, psychological guidance, emotional & spiritual support/wisdom. Children also shape the world around them through modeling-which comes from observation. Premising a inconsistent and disrespectful parent to operate however they see fit & with no consideration of how to cooperate with the other parent, is toxic and further pushes the stigma of a bitter mom- when mothers !require! respect as well. When each parent demonstrates respect, YOU HELP THE CHILD. If one parent is disrespectful and the other is made to be okay with the disrespect- that is no example to model for a child.

[@thehound7162]

damn this was a good video... you can tell you have had some real life experience in this matter... was a good talk i was so mad my girlfriend is so dumb for one she told me she couldnt get pregnant... thats all im going to say..anyways good talk i have to remember it will affect the kid...but do you think i should live 18 years miserable with another person because they told me they couldnt get pregnant? Seems a bit messed up too... going to be hard to be a good parent when im always mad and stressed out because of the kids mother....would be able to be a better father if i found another wife who actually has a good job / future ahead of them. One who works together with me to make a better future for the both of us.. If im unhappy... chances are, my kids probobly going to be unhappy. Might be better just leaving trying to make a house for my child that will actually be welcoming to him. somewhere he actually wants to be. Can i really force myself to not be stressed out and be happy and let go of everything i hate about my girlfriend. I'm not sure thats possible.... why would you want to live in a world like that..again how is my kid going to be happy when his father never is.

[@sashamurphy5953]

Ehat about him being in jail 10 years out of her 12 years of life

[@sashamurphy5953]

No support

[@sashamurphy5953]

He never helped never paid for 10 years

[@diandradelossantos1029]

What about if the father has had multiple arrests, alcoholic (DUIs), has missed numerous visits, had to leave the state because he had a parole hearing in his home state, can't hold a steady job, has anger issues, I mean the list goes on. I have full custody with the father on supervised visits. He left. He left the state (can't afford to live on his own). Now, he is asking for us to visit. That's not the agreement. I want the best for my child. I want her to have a reliable father. He just isn't. He does not pay support (he doesn't have it). He's had so many chances. There has to be a line where enough is enough.

[@anastasiabaldwin1155]

Diandra De Los santos I don't know you,but I 100% feel for you and your daughter. Like you stated he had multiple chances to get it together and hasn't. If you have already opened a case with the courts and he suppose to get supervised visits and can't come thru on that then that's on him. You did your part as the mother now it's time for him to do his. Everything will fall into place and your child will eventually see him for who he really is. It's unfortunate, but it'll only make her appreciate you even more in the end. Keep up the good work (:

[@josiesingleton291]

60% the mother 40% the father. what if the father beat you while you were preg? Is that ok? this lady has never dealt with a narcissistic dad LOL

[@jamescollins6347]

All these single mothers in the comments hating their child’s fathers...YOU ALL PICKED THEM. Just think about that...

[@moniquejones5046]

Help please i need advice the father of my son who is now 5 years old is seeking custody and he has not seen my son since he was 2 weeks old. when i was pregnant he abused me and caused me to go into labor the next day after he pushed me into a car and he was arrested and before that there were two other occasions where he went to jail because of domestic violence. when my son was born i had to have security escort him out of the hospital because he got physical with me to change my sons name. when my son was two weeks old he kept my son from me for a couple of hours. He has also made verbal and physical threats to me and my son saying he would kill us because he was not a junior. i do not want him around because i fear for my son safety can you please give me some advice. I am also married and my husband has been there for my son since he was two weeks old. please help i do not want him around

[@merissavgrayson]

Hi Monique. Im not sure what state you are in, but please submit your inquiry via the "get started" page on my website: www.yourfamilyslawyers.com

[@Papa2thaE]

Most women are B***h and thinks they own the babe like they Impregnated themselves.

[@krystingrant6292]

I'm angry. One this fool has played me to many times. Acts like an idiot or delirious regarding his actions. I'm at the point we're I want all communication through other family members. I want nothing to do with him. Her undermined my parent skills which led to me being humiliated by outside parties in a rest stop this is a no no. I am done. I question his logic I don't want my son being raised by him. He's a narcissist, liar, and horrible disciplinarian.

[@RisingStar-ze2em]

Question...is it ok that your childs father help you finically until your able to get your iwn finances right

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

Rising Star you wouldn’t do it for him you chicks are very illogical

[@jamescollins6347]

Do it yourself, a lot of us men know you wouldn’t do it for us so why do it for you?

[@greatestever80sbaby]

@@jamescollins6347 right... tf is wrong with these women? What kind of questiom is that anyway...

[@whosacheeky]

Hi thanks for the video, I'm 22 years old and my daughter (who's 1) lives with me full time; on the weekends she'll stay with her dad. I let him see her whenever he wants but it's starting to get to the point where he's verbally abusing me and it's affecting me, for example I've told him I don't use formula milk any more; then he argues and says "Don't tell me how to raise my child"(this conversation was on the phone) your this your that. I feel like he's abusing the fact that he knows he has full access to her 24/7 and I feel like his abusive behaviour is starting to irritate me.

[@13_tiers25]

Samara I'm dealing with the same thing with my sons dad! He is emotionally and mentally abusive. It's exhausting! We have 50/50, but every time we see each other he has some comment to make. I definitely relate to you. I hope your situation gets better!

[@whosacheeky]

Tierney O'heren I hope your situation gets better too;it has started to calm down but, when you realise regardless of whatever circumstances, it's gonna be a journey until the children are at a age where they can make their own arrangements( unless you get back with him ) I feel like you have to develop a strategy with the communication;otherwise I feel like I'm gonna go crazy lol.

[@merissavgrayson]

Hi...sorry for the late reply. Sounds like you need to set some boundaries. It's great that you let him see her when he wants and can be the bigger person, but at the same time, for your own sanity and your daughter's peace, as she gets older you may want to establish a consistent schedule for his time with her. It will hopefully minimize his behavior and give her consistency and stability she needs in her relationship with him. Not sure what area you're in, but... Look into mediation in your area and see if the two of you can reach an agreement and get a parenting plan in place if you haven't already (considering how late I am with this response...). Thanks for watching :)

[@christindanielle3385]

Subscribe to my KZbin please. #amazingwork

[@genevievelewis6954]

How do you know how the child feels? Court orders that advocate a 50/50 scheduled with a person that is abusive and neglectful is insane. Splitting a child in two is not in their best interests with an abusive person

[@hoodhealthywithhuff8815]

Oh my God be very proud of her I don't want her I don't want the kids I don't want a future with him I don't want to see him I don't want them in my life I actually hate her for having the kids

[@kandyturner5753]

WORD

[@patrickatangana9374]

This woman is so beautiful

[@galinaioffe2250]

There's no way you really hate your childs father/mother because if that was a case, there would be no child. You may have some resentment towards them if they were the cause of your split up but there are and always will be feelings there

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

All these women on here playing victim as ALWAYS with no Accountability.Ive yet to see a female wholeheartedly take accountability SICKENING

[@greatestever80sbaby]

Yup... same thing I said. I think something is really wrong with them.

[@HumbleTestimonies121]

I agree…💯

[@bizarrowxrld2089]

U are fine boo 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@laurensadler9879]

I’m sorry but a cheater cannot be a good parent. They are modeling what a relationship should look like for that child, and right off the bat they got that wrong. After having three affairs along with me at once, my BD came to his own conclusion that he is a full blown narcissist and while he has started therapy he is still an absolutely horrible person because narcs are incapable of change. I hope my daughter realizes he is horrible as stated in the video, although I will never make it known how I feel about him. I hope she grows to hate him as she gets older and realizes his tendencies and dysfunctional was of living. He doesn’t deserve the pure love of my innocent baby. Or anyone for that matter..

[@sashamurphy5953]

No help

[@thekenzokassshow3313]

What if they are a horrible father too?