"Why Are My Toes So Wrinkly In The Bath?" - Stephen Answers Questions From Real Kids

Children: they're like actual people, but smaller. And they have so much to learn. Stephen Colbert is here to do his part by answering real questions from real kids, like "How do I become a billionaire in one day?" If you have a kid who has a question for Stephen, post it to Twitter using the tag #ColbertKidQuestions and you may see your kid on a future episode of The Late Show! #Colbert #Comedy #ColbertKidQuestions
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@everythingiseverything9920]

Miracle Toe : makes your toes 10 years younger Elijah : Age 4 😦😦

[@makeracistsafraidagain]

Hahahaha!

[@MonkeyJedi99]

Oh no! Elijah's toes just turned into his dad's creepy cyber-stalking of his mother!

[@Sindollx666x]

🤣🤣🤣😂😅👏 oh no -6 !

[@NirvanaFan5000]

Disney literally sued schools where kids made disney-themed murals. Their amusement park employees are sleeping in cars outside the park. They are bad people. So while I personally cannot resist a marvel movie (and wish Disney didn't own them), I'm not buying any of their merch.

[@michaelgriffith9205]

My ex worked for the Mouse. "If you can't come in Saturday, don't bother coming in Sunday."

[@mercedeshowie8022]

@@michaelgriffith9205 "cool looks like I've got the weekend off"

[@gayahithwen]

Some people have managed to create amazing art *despite* working for the Mouse, and the feelings I have for that art is separate from my feelings for the company. But yeah. Their business practices are so shady that I honestly think pirating their shows might be a moral good at this point.

[@TheCrabError]

“That’s just bad in a new way” 😂

[@knittylane3016]

Part of Jon’s sexiness is his kindness, compassion and inclusivity….plus what a musician!!!

[@MonkeyJedi99]

Don't forget the Evie factor!

[@Keallei]

Kids make great input. They will never run out of the best things to say.

[@burnyizland]

Dooooo you have kids? Cause I tell ya, it's not all sunshine and quotes you can burn into wood and put above your bed.

[@starkravingralph]

Adults do too but it seems society doesn't like when adults tell the truth or say what we're truly thinking, but if a child says it, it's ok? 🙄

[@streetpeter3210]

Would you say that kids say the darnest things?

[@burnyizland]

@@starkravingralph As someone who is unapologetically blunt myself I appreciate this comment.

[@marlinweekley51]

Reminds me of the Art Linkletter show “Kids say the darnedest things” years ago. Don’t know who Art Linkletter is - he’s the guy who’s face is on the 100,000 bill in the game Life 🤪

[@emmabunch-benson4795]

Make this a regular segment!! Love it

[@abbycross90210]

"A very litigious company" is putting it mildly.

[@mariekastler5391]

LOVE your avatar❣️

[@abbycross90210]

@@mariekastler5391 thank you!!

[@mmgm86]

Which song he referred to? And which company? 🙈

[@abbycross90210]

@@mmgm86 Disney. "When You Wish Upon a Star" from Pinocchio.

[@stephanies3246]

@@abbycross90210 Shhhh🤫 Are you trying to get Stephen sued?

[@NewMessage]

I'm betting the farm that Jon wins Sexiest Man Alive this year.

[@jujuryan9632]

I had exactly the same thought.

[@Keallei]

On repeat. Best dressed, too.

[@burnyizland]

Dang it new message, you always beat me to the punch! I guess that's why they call ya that.

[@KatySueWho]

Ditto

[@AmericanTeacher-USA]

We HOPE! WE'D LOVE THAT. 😊

[@phsopher]

The wrinkly toes are actually quite fascinating. It's not due to water making your skin swell or some other mechanical effect as a lot of people think. If you have nerve damage you won't get wrinkly toes and fingers, so it's your nervous system which makes them wrinkly on purpose, presumably to improve grip on wet surfaces. Not very funny, but I was quite surprised to find out so I thought y'all might want to know as well.

[@oljerseysoul8724]

You're the hero we needed 🤣

[@lethalenoki]

Damnit. My nerves are too good because I get wrinkly in like 30 seconds. I am a frog, and I have to accept it.

[@sciencebunny]

I laughed a little too hard at the re-education camp name 😅

[@daledarling11]

Why do I feel like Mr. Batiste is going to be declared the sexiest man alive? Oh wait, bec that is the only right answer to that question. Com’on now! Yes, indeed.

[@sleepycalico]

And, I know this is irrelevant, but how gorgeous is that outfit? OMG.

[@moot9798]

I thought the same thing

[@spaghettisultan5484]

If this segment plays more regularly, may it never have a title that Stephen will approve of. Update: I didn't expect to get so many likes in such a short time

[@zesty9815]

3:32 "Stephen Sells Your Kids"

[@spaghettisultan5484]

@@zesty9815 I like it already

[@misterguy9002]

I’m sure Qanon is already on it

[@ianrastall]

"Stephen Collects Children's Thoughts" "Stephen Gets In Touch With Your Kids" "The Teaching Dungeon"

[@tiki_trash]

You got me at The Teaching Dungeon! 😆😆

[@azurebadger]

Yeah the left isnt pro sexualizing kids or anything obviously. Never once. Deride, all of the post modernists actually, the founders of sex ed in the states and germany, the ‘science experiments’ they conducted just for ‘research’ wasn’t at all literally criminal. The pro pedo ted talks, the pro kink books they fight for and lie about currently, the Epstein ordeal, cuties, etc. pride and trans in libraries, in the streets, kink parades, high school principals who organize their own school ‘pride’ parades in the gym and get lap dances from teenage boys in drag. Sure, colbert only wants to brainwash children into the leftist cult indoctrinated ideological conditioning in a ‘normal’ way i guess. But just to be safe, age restrict your tv. This could get ugly.

[@ianrastall]

@@azurebadger That's a rabbit hole that is not your friend.

[@azurebadger]

@@ianrastall that is historical reality. The difference is the capability to comprehend it, and also call it out and hold the left to account for the sum of its parts. There is a ton there. Try reading. I suppose you also think that isnt something you’d call friend perhaps

[@ianrastall]

@@azurebadger I'm trying to be nice. Q-Anon is a bizarre and hate-ridden movement, and it bears no relation to reality. The interesting thing about reading is that your sources matter. For instance, you can hopefully see that my composition skills are on point. Here's a quote from what you just wrote: "colbert only wants to brainwash children into the leftist cult indoctrinated ideological conditioning in a ‘normal’ way," and while that's not the whole sentence, I did not take it out of context. That really is how you communicate.

[@maryrosekent8223]

Owls can rotate their heads a maximum of 270°, which compensates for their eyeballs being fixed in a forward facing position.

[@philoctetes_wordsworth]

“The Enlightened Capitalist,” now that is a fairy story.

[@yudithcaron8053]

That's not why toes get wrinkly in the bath, Stephen. Toes (and fingers) get wrinkly in the bath to make it easier to get out of the bath without slipping. Also, it's like a built-in clock. When your fingers and toes get wrinkly, it's time to get out of the bath!

[@70s80s]

“Re-education camp”…Beats staying in the hot city all summer!

[@catalinacurio]

I blame the bath for my face… 😊

[@aalhard]

When John was working so hard to not crack at 1.40, that was hilarious

[@DanTheMagic8Ball]

Stephen's Re-education camp has some real Wondershozen's Beat Kids vibes.

[@krejados1]

Did you catch Crimeny asking "Anyone got a cigarette?" just before SC says "Thanks, Crimeny"?

[@traekas7228]

Of course. ~ An old smoker.

[@everythingiseverything9920]

Lol I totally missed it!

[@darwinskeeper421]

Yeah, it was perfectly in tune with the character.

[@darwinskeeper421]

Oh, and grasshoppers don't live long enough to learn the genteel art of pipe smoking.

[@Try_Combs]

I did not. Good catch.

[@somethingclever4563]

I apologize but due to scheduling conflicts I won't be able to attend the show when you announce my winning of sexiest man alive

[@chriswinkler284]

Due, not do :P

[@somethingclever4563]

@@chriswinkler284 thanks

[@TylerBaraby]

Actually, owls can rotate their heads up to 270 degrees, not quite 360.

[@stephanies3246]

Wrong show. Seth Meyers does Corrections.

[@telebubba5527]

So nice seeing Jiminy Cricket back. Haven't seen him for decades!

[@stephanies3246]

You’re mistaken. That’s Criminy Grasshopper. He has/wants nothing to do with Disney or it’s army of lawyers. 😉

[@JoseSanchez0795]

This was great I hope to see it every week!!!!

[@randomyoutubeuser1970]

3:56 was that a gamestop reference lmao

[@MountainLWolf]

Going for that Mr. Rogers vibe

[@jozz2248]

Wonder when to dial the Butterball hotline? Love that bit and any chance to see Stephen's improv

[@papatroll9545]

LOVE this segment!

[@josephlennon7832]

Who was the voice of Crimony? Sounded a little like Alan Alda, but I would guess it wasn't him.

[@elisam.2896]

Certainly sounded like it couls have been a famous person, the voice sounded sooooo familiar

[@debramccullough2036]

Sounded like Ira Flato(sp?) from NPR.

[@meganofsherwood3665]

@@debramccullough2036 ohh, that could be!

[@psicologiajoseh]

This gave some good laughs. Thanks!

[@Notfunnysam]

Loved it!

[@vanessawhitneypro]

This segment makes me LMAO...

[@Pampersnoot]

Wow Stephen, review your General Relativity, the distortion of spacetime caused by the Earth’s mass leads to time passing more slowly for our feet than our heads, so we age from the top down.

[@MonkeyJedi99]

Except if you live in that imaginary place, Australia!

[@delta5297]

Stephen, you didn't answer the kid's question. He asked how to become a billionaire in one day, not over 70 years.

[@abbycross90210]

I think you become rich in one day. It takes 70 years to regret it. I like those odds.

[@a.kenneth3521]

First, get a billion dollars. Then… (Slightly modified Steve Martin)

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

This is such a cute segment!

[@frankrizzo739]

What a wholesome segment... Stephen Takes Your Kids! 🤗

[@l.i.terally2907]

I Heart Stephen Colbert.

[@devinnall2284]

We don't break news, we just talk about what happened that day. Isn't that the definition of news?

[@SuaveGemini]

Kinda but then I used to live in the south and sometimes a segment would be like "A deer ran through a home's picture window and ran back out the hole it made." Me: This is news? 😆

[@devinnall2284]

@@SuaveGemini It's new just not good news

[@kimnorris8301]

‘‘Twas part of the joke … he he

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I remember when the tag line of the Daily Show was, "When news breaks, we fix it!"

[@luzvaldes1030]

John Batiste, looking good tonight!

[@fionaclaphamhoward5876]

As befits such a likely contender for Sexiest Man Alive 🔥🔥🔥

[@zencat999]

you dont break news...you crush it with the sufocation of comedy.

[@domprice9512]

Doubt it’ll be me. Can I die already. Lmao 🤣

[@burnyizland]

You're not famous. But I bet someone you know thinks you're wonderful. 🌼

[@judithvilla1463]

Jon B. Is def the sexiest man alive! I hope he gets it. He is so cool and such a force of nature. I know Stephen wants to win, but he blew it by wearing that sports coat/sweater (whatever it is!) in this video. But of course he deserves to keep getting Emmys! A lot of them.

[@AnnoyingMoose]

Doesn't everyone know that the skin on your fingers and toes gets wrinkly when wet so that you can have better grip on things? Since smooth skin might slip on wet surfaces your brain signals for your skin to increase its surface area by pulling back on tiny alternating muscle fibers just below your skin.

[@petrograd4068]

@Rose-Marie Bothi Try googling "wrinkly fingers reflex". I tried to link you to some scientific articles, but youtube doesn't like links. Research shows people with nerve damage don't get the reflex, so it cannot be osmosis. And while wrinkly toes do help with grip, that doesn't mean you have perfect grip or anything, accidents can still happen, they're just less likely to. Anyhow, when in doubt like this, search the internet for answers! You'll learn something! :)

[@AnnoyingMoose]

@Rose-Marie Bothi I originally heard it on the radio show Quirks & Quarks back in the 1990s.

[@sachagilley2315]

@Rose-Marie Bothi no. According to scientists, its true. They say that its something left over from us evolving from sea critters. Its supposedly to help with grip. It doesn't, though, lol. I mean, I guess what is actually happening is what you said, but its because of evolution that our bodies have that response. Again, according to scientists.

[@tiki_trash]

I have some nerve damage in my left hand. The pad of my thumb doesn't get wrinkly in the bath and it feels numb 24 hours a day.

[@jaredf6205]

@Rose-Marie Bothi you can just go look it up.

[@baylinkdashyt]

WOW, did that sound like Alan Alda...

[@gloriaspratt2002]

So entertaining

[@NatiDeNut]

I can tell you, it is Tom Ellis hands down.

[@amberts180]

I love that you’re breaking this story.

[@hopeoconnell8053]

John's jacket is uh-maze-zing

[@notaperson6637]

Stephen Colbert presents “Kids Say the Darndest Things”

[@suzettesundae7903]

Results are already IN : it's YOU, Stephen Colbert. This year and every damned year

[@jamesparochetti5279]

This made me laugh my ass off

[@nonamegame9857]

Don't worry. I'm sure that there's some Kardashian around ready to appropriate it 😁.

[@EyesOfByes]

0:50 Stephen has colluded with Matt Damon against Jimmy Kimmel? Called it. 😉

[@debbiedean3165]

Really cute 🥰. I was thinking the same thing as another commenter, it could be Jon 😊

[@indigowolf556]

Kids are so funny and innocent...I miss those days being a kid🤔🙂🙃

[@chriswinkler284]

@3:53...And for just four easy payments of $79.95 (Round it off, eighty dollars for a total of $320), you TOO can have Miracle Toes :P

[@brettmurphy7588]

I hope this becomes a staple just like meanwhile!

[@universalheartstring]

Jon Batiste is the sexiest man alive.

[@sjaypants]

okay, was Criminy voiced by Alan Alda?

[@mfrmfr7846]

“Children, they are like real people, just smaller.” You could also add, smarter then most adults. Adults teach children to be clueless just like them.

[@maryrosekent8223]

Nice duds, Jon!

[@ShawnDaGeek]

Totally should have had Bill Nye cut in at the end of each explanation with the real reason lol.

[@wesleyspilly3087]

I liked the old title😂

[@livb6945]

It's Jon!!! Or it should be 😍

[@danielleohallisey4218]

Who voiced Criminy? Sounds like Ira Flato from Science Friday… 🤔

[@debramccullough2036]

I thought so too!

[@normanhirtle3180]

LMAO

[@margaritamencias2241]

Intoxicated Mr Rogers

[@dark_neverland]

I miss him doing kid segments. :)

[@Opine_Divine]

Wholeheartedly encourage all sexy men to stay alive. We need you! Thank you for your service.

[@madhatman9166]

Wrinkling in the bath - Real answer - its a neurological response that constricts the blood vessels in your fingers and toes that causes them to wrinkle so to allow better traction on wet surfaces.

[@taylerannsupergirl5587]

So Jon is the sexiest man alive?

[@bobdavis6455]

@ 4:15 5 year olds don't have middle school buddies.

[@kevinfager.]

That song is owned by a very litigious company…my Netflix wasn’t working once (for a week) so I downloaded one movie owned by this company (which was available on Netflix) and got a threatening letter from my internet provider within a couple weeks. Even though I essentially already paid for it and wasn’t even able to view it. All this company has ever done is steal from the work of people long since dead.

[@nonamegame9857]

The Wizard of Oz was made in 1939 yet you still can't watch it for free on KZbin.

[@tania2897]

I just heard Walter Cronkite saying, " And that's the way sexy is". My house may be haunted...or I may need therapy....

[@napoleonibonaparte7198]

Is that litigious company, Disney?

[@damonhines8187]

My money's on Jon Stewart. 🎲💸😂😢

[@EyesOfByes]

3:55 Easy: SquidGame Token!! Oh, wait...

[@verdatum]

That animated cricket sure sounded a lot like an alcoholic womanizing Korean War meatball surgeon I once knew....That or Alan Alda.

[@igorschmidlapp6987]

I'm waiting for, "Aunt Stormy's Camel Toe"...

[@-Hunter240x]

New title: Stephen teaches your kids a lesson

[@wendigo53]

It is only when kids grow up to be adults that they learn: adults don't really know the answers.

[@StrangeFractaLS4]

My God, I have a nomination . . .

[@Downloadeodeo]

FOUR!

[@bobdavis6455]

Steven; it gots to be you.

[@linda-may5744]

Cool 🌺🍃🌸🍃🌺💫✨💫✨💫

[@kt9166]

Might as well tell us now---it's Stephen!

[@Tommyoda]

3:55 • how does this answer happen in ONE DAY? 😳

[@jsl151850b]

4:52 If I were to wish upon a star like Betelgeuse tonight, would my wish become retroactive so that it explodes 600 years ago and the lethal gamma ray burst singes the Earth tomorrow?

[@kayladawn]

Oh booooy 😳🤔😳🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Junksaint]

Re education camp lol

[@dheeraj3945]

This also explained Hegde funds for adults

[@johnmorrishowelliii5889]

great show Stephen & Crew

[@freya8133]

Sorry guys, it isn't Jon Batiste. I already heard it's Chris Evans (who?)

[@medusasworldofstone]

Its my news source

[@cheknfaks]

Some adults need that re-education more than the kids.. Stephen, you should start masterclasses.

[@Alexagrigorieff]

By the way, excessive wrinkliness of wet hands often comes together with cystic fibrosis gene mutation, even if you have only one copy of the recessive gene.

[@maxryder995]

Stephen, if you Have The Heart of an Artist and are searching for your Muse...Will your Longterm Girlfriend Leave you for an Insurance Salesman?

[@michaelspencer1315]

Didn't People reveal that it's Chris Evans?

[@freya8133]

Yes. I also have no idea who that is.

[@michaelspencer1315]

@@freya8133 Captain America

[@xthe_moonx]

Its gamestop....he's talking about gamestop.

[@davidconnell1959]

I cannot for the life of me say whether Criminy or Joseph is the most adorable thing ever.