reading extremely cursed 𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓬𝔂 fanfiction

[@ColeyDoesThings]

Which fic was your fave, or made you wanna nope out immediately?? Check out casetify.com/coleydoesthings today to get 15% off on your order!

[@retroroy8720]

Honestly, that's a good question

[@seaflowers]

The cars made me laugh so hard

[@missiedits]

The minions one

[@nioviiosif5134]

Coley have you ever heard of the Manga/Anime "Yagate Kimi ni naru" or in English "Bloom into you"...If not, I highly recommend it.

[@alexrawls5217]

My favorite was definitely the speech to text fail also you are far braver then me seeing as I would have spontaneously combusted the minute I ate a drop of hot sauce #1. please drink lots of milk and don’t suffer for us

[@jaroneller1525]

i love that in the bagel story it wasnt the smut that got you, it was the ridiculousness of the baked goods analogies

[@notNyxiann]

lol

[@sadmac356]

Yeah that's what got me

[@redgoldcrown3990]

when Coley said "Pillsbury Doughboy" I broke LOLOLOL.

[@fimbulvetr6129]

The “I can’t believe it’s not butter” broke me

[@the_dionysus_cabin]

the ✨special sesame seed✨ sent me 💀

[@thinkingoverthenight]

"I can't believe it's not butter" made me WHEEZE

[@hello_i_am_jacob]

I HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO TO FULLY CACKLE

[@rebeccalamarche764]

I was drinking some water, I’m pretty sure it went up my nose and I had to stop for a while to compose myself HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@Whimsychaos]

me too i was dying lmao

[@princessbriarflower]

As the person who suggested the Jesus x Larry fanfic, I’m only sad that Coley didn’t get up to the part where Larry dies and then Jesus eats him

[@4c_aperture]

WHAT.

[@polaracrobat4454]

EXCUSE US

[@nialabrown9375]

WTF

[@twilac4016]

As a person who grew up as a christian and veggietales, this ruined my childhood 🙃

[@HalfBloodPrincessOfficial]

WHAT THE FUCK

[@bellawietrzak3543]

“Unconventional smut” gotta be the funniest phrase I’ve heard all week 💀💀

[@thelast9583]

Nothing like cursed fanfication to keep you up at night

[@JabamiLain]

I hope I can accomplish such a reaction when I publish my "Noddy" crossover fanfic, though in a less sexualized way.

[@alphadroid_131]

*Kirby is not a prostitute, Kirby is not a prostitute, Kirby is not a prostitute…*

[@firamation8114]

Fanfic is like coffee lol

[@BritishMotherfucker]

Fr

[@gabrielintano2202]

Nothin like spicyely cursed fabrication to listen to before bed to keep your dreams chaotic

[@onlyknownascofficial]

The animal crossing censorship makes it a lot more difficult to keep a straight face than I imagined. 10/10!

[@greenstarlover1]

Poor Isabelle

[@BritishMotherfucker]

@@greenstarlover1 Fr

[@justinzarbo]

I know, I was not expecting it😂😂😂

[@rowanthehunter]

Thing is, i could probably read these at church with my grandmother, entirely straight faced with no problem, but the goshdarn bleeping is doin me in. 😭😭

[@Silvery_jade]

SAME

[@alexrawls5217]

Yup

[@lilybean9585]

Same

[@Floralaie]

Same

[@aquamarinerose5405]

Isabelle coming in clutch

[@imreadytokermitsomecrime4761]

This video made me go read the Zhongli x Childe fic. Definitely traumatising. 100% cursed "anatomical requirement for the assignment of male at birth" was my favourite substitution

[@basilcormier5876]

I actually read that fic previously. It’s cursed but honestly it’s fucking hilarious

[@bokutokinnie2777]

I just finished this fic 10/10 a masterpiece

[@that_one_koi_fish6025]

For how cursed it is it’s surprisingly good.

[@ToscaTee]

Spickle pickle is so good though

[@cloudscovermyflaws]

Also went to read the fic and yeah that one had me giggling like a fucked up child in a horror movie. “Swollen bed snake” and “hot girthy staff of carnal desire” had me on the floor as well.

[@k8evids336]

As a mormon who reads fan fic I just died laughing at that intro.

[@oliviabuss8306]

same

[@asrialhope5804]

I am the reverse of her situation

[@felicitys3621]

Girl you’re in a cult get outta there!!

[@diorsse]

@@asrialhope5804 a fanfic that reads mormons?

[@asrialhope5804]

@nat not what I ment but I might have a new fear

[@TheChaoticAsexual]

The bagel fic with all the censors just felt like an elaborate metaphor for sex instead of just…actual bagel sex

[@xiesie_xiesie]

Fr

[@soneataverneur7888]

"His special sesame seed" absolutly sent me x)

[@pseudonymous_]

The funniest thing about this is the way Coley reads the fics with absolutely no inflection in her voice 💀💀💀

[@dusk4974]

I wanna do this so bad. I read the KFC dating sim out loud to my friend at lunch for over a week in Sophomore year. Would do again

[@emilyrattini8462]

I’m in English class. Time to test my poker face.

[@the_author_artist7815]

I’m at home, and I’m stone faced so far

[@emilyrattini8462]

@@the_author_artist7815 I didn’t actually get to the meat of it in class. Does rolling your eyes/smirking slightly count as a reaction?

[@the_author_artist7815]

@@emilyrattini8462 no, not to me

[@screwthedragon999]

I do a simple eyebrow lift

[@Lector_Omniscius]

Man on a mission

[@bettycreepersayuri-chan809]

"I can't believe it's not butter" I'm already in tears Coley how did you manage to not jUST--

[@om000_o]

we're in for a ride huh

[@mldag1678]

Literally my thoughts - wasn’t sure if I dared watched this lmao

[@scoot-scoot51341]

One big ride indeed

[@mellemadswoestenburg1296]

Oh absolutely. Definitely both kinds too.

[@EleiyaUmei]

I'm ace but not sex-repulsed but some of these fics are so cursed that I might as well be...

[@the_dionysus_cabin]

sameeeeee

[@Feezee223]

Same

[@caspianhardin7521]

Me too🥲🥲

[@sockatoo_]

SAME HOLY CRAP I DONT THINK ILL BE ABLE TO EVER RECOVER FROM THIS

[@charoflakes]

you are so real for this

[@Taradoxxi]

the person who wrote the Best Jeanist x Wash fic is a goddamn galaxy brained genius and I salute them

[@darkstarr984]

Yeah, that one was actually strangely charming

[@gokbay3057]

I mean, I'll have the agree with the author it is the perfect crack pairing and I can't believe noone came up with it earlier.

[@monicasalasviquez673]

it was so mind-blowing i might just look for it to satisfy my curiosity on the fanon lore

[@guilatrixx4442]

As a virgin baby fanfic reader who's never explored this world of fanfiction. It was either a good or bad idea that I watched this video while washing the dishes.

[@ceilinh6004]

At least you weren't doing laundry.

[@Lector_Omniscius]

Oh lord.😂

[@lilyd8908]

Love how you pronounced “sore” as “sowe” at 18:37 even though it wasn’t written out like that. That came from your heart.

[@captainofthelosercruiser7355]

and scwumptious lol

[@linafinnow6887]

As someone who has jokingly referred to Christians as the Bible fandom, I have been punished by the knowledge that there is an actual Bible fandom. Also, I really wish there was a companion to this involving the whole fluffy fic squealing thing. Not with hot sauce, but with some kinda fluff based penalty.

[@Null-value]

I was trying to find a tag for Christian Religious themes for an ULTRAKILL fanfic I wrote and the suggested tags from the AO3 Bible Fandom hit me like a semi-truck. I was NOT prepared.

[@Sienna6164]

As a Christian, I’m shocked that there isn’t a lot a smut about Mary Magdeline, as even though she is mixed up with another Mary, she is commonly believed to be the Bible Whore who Jesus brings to God (that’s Mary of Egypt)

[@ribottostudio]

"Draco has shark anatomy." Did I immediately know what that means? Noooooo.....nnnnoooo. Of course I did....n't. Ahem.

[@kespblaze8560]

I wish I didn’t know exactly what it meant

[@Zela_Night]

Ah, Sidon the shark Zora; the collective crush of everyone who has ever seen Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

[@pip_a_doodle2175]

was that a ROTMNT reference because I heard Donnie's voice in my head when I read that

[@andromeda_va39]

I have no idea what this means

[@ribottostudio]

@@pip_a_doodle2175 SU-PRIIIIISE lol

[@juliasutherland5086]

The way Coley losses it only at the puns. It's so wholesome yet so unholy.

[@PalisadePeryton]

Well, the puns, and Donald Trump's self-lubricating-

[@elliejetsies]

on ao3, (forgot the name of it), I literally read a smut fic of a tomato and a piece of garlic having rough sex. no joke. AND A TOWEL SMUT 💀☠️

[@your_average_nerd6861]

Please tell me you drank holy water after

[@elliejetsies]

@your_average_nerd6861 i think that question deserves no answer, as...that information is now privated 🫶🏻

[@kespblaze8560]

I read one that was Garfield, Jesus, and Y/N fucking lasagna in an orge

[@elliejetsies]

@@kespblaze8560 WHAT THE FUCK...? 😰

[@mistywindow16]

Y'all, pass the names or links this way pls 👀

[@morphing_erebus]

I couldn't stop laughing during the bagel fic, but I completely lost it at Zhongli's womb broom.

[@newspapertaxi1443]

The fact that the megatron x starscream fic is probably one of the more tame smut fics in the tf fandom and it still landed here AND made coley crack up is fucking killing me😂

[@MxJester]

Bro same, it's not even close to the worst I've seen from the tf Fandom. ㄒoㄒ

[@fangirlapocalypse]

tf smutfics are wild

[@banzeyegaming2234]

I still ask myself why TF fics are so… _smutty._ I just wanna read some awesome crossover with Autobots duking it out against the Decepticons! WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO TRAWL THROUGH SO MUCH STARSCREAM/MEGATRON OR JAZZ/PROWL SMUT!?

[@AnInsideJoke]

This was the only one I made it through with a fully straight face. I'm not in the fandom, so, once Coley got to the part about robo butt cheeks, my mind just kinda fixated on that, and I was just trying to figure that one out for the rest of the reading, because I was 90% sure that Transformers were flatter than sheet metal, and nothing that could even remotely resemble cheeks.

[@steelthroat]

​@AnInsideJoke HAVE YOU SEEN SHOCKWAVE??? FLAT? TRANSFORMERS? WHEN???? Anyway yeah that fandom is wild.

[@gothicGumshoe]

When I tell you the shock I felt when you started reading out the Shrek x Donald Trump fic. There is, always, an incredibly vague memory in the back of my head of writing Shrek x Donald Trump p0rn with my closest internet friends at the time back when I was 11-12 (Yes, I know, extremely young age to be set loose on the internet and writing smut with internet friends by my parents were not... particularly attentive). I highly, highly doubt that this is the one we made, especially because I feel like this is something you remember in detail forever, but it was over 5 years ago now and my memory is hazy, so who knows.

[@fridayghost13]

Maybe try going to your account and finding out if it’s the one she read?

[@Arty_Apple_Bee]

Your poker face is really impressive. Also "it just tastes like pain" killed me.

[@wyrmghost]

I feel like reading out loud definitely affects the ability to read with a straight face

[@spiderwickian]

The Elmo fic is mine!!!! So honored to have my work featured on your channel - I love your content! Bravo for getting to the end by the way! My friends like to read it aloud at innopportune moments and the usually break by paragraph 2 😂

[@fangirlapocalypse]

thank you for your contribution to this world

[@the_dionysus_cabin]

you are godsend, we thank you for your wonderful contribution

[@Maradrafts]

As an avid horror reader I'm kind of in awe at some of this imagery, honestly. You absolutely had no need to go this hard (heh), and yet you did. Hats off to you - somehow a Draco/Elmo smutfic is better at eldritch & grotesque depictions than most authors I've read in 2023, and I'm unironically happy for that. :D Shine on, you crazy diamond - whatever you're writing now I hope you're having fun with it!

[@spiderwickian]

@@Maradrafts Hi, oh my god! This is possibly the nicest compliment I could get??!!! I'm eighteen and my lifelong passion has been fiction writing, recently it's been mostly fanfiction (my ao3 is A_Hundred_Jewels if you're curious - I've written a couple of other eldritch puppet things and have plans for more lmao), so it is INCREDIBLE to hear that someone who likes real proper horror enjoys my writing! You made my day! (also, pink floyd!!! im obsessed)

[@spiderwickian]

@@fangirlapocalypse you're so welcome

[@artisticfox_vw]

As soon as you mentioned the Spamton one, i instantly felt fear crawl inside of me. Long has it been since i checked on the Deltarune fandom, specifically on the Spamton fanbase, and what i found was horrifying curiosity killed the cat

[@c0zmozys]

the spamplush fanbase is better… MUCH better.

[@twotruckslyrics]

i remember finding a fic of spamton transforming while in a dumpster and i think he ate one of his friends? i clicked away after i realized where it was going

[@bumbabees]

i out-loud said "NOO" because i know deltarune, and i was desperately hoping there wouldnt be anything i recognized that i was personally involved with here. i dont want to read spamton smut 😭😭

[@alas1457]

As an aroace who doesn't read fanfic, this is fucking hilarious and I failed to keep a straight face at every single fic.

[@Sleepster]

as an aroace who does read fanfic but not very often, same here

[@hibikimoons]

As an AroAce who reads and writes fanfic but avoids the smut often, it's a very comedic genre in the embarrassing way and this video was proof of that in a sense

[@backupmollyverse]

as an aroace who reads and writes anything including smut the anologies for the bread fic impressed me for the cleverness more than anything

[@mayonnie37]

As an ace who constantly reads smutfics, the bagel thing killed me

[@BritishMotherfucker]

@@hibikimoons Agreed

[@amikireicraftstore]

Musical theatre fan here 🙋🏼‍♀️ About the chainsaw 🤣 In "Heathers" there is this very famous Heather Chandler quote that says "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" of course it is as sarcastically said as possible. 🤣

[@SassyIS_Hyper]

Yes Heather fan here to

[@eowynberndt]

lol i immediately caught the reference

[@paw_ureyesout]

I knew someone else was gonna notice that!

[@S0ME0N3_]

HEATHERS FAN TOO!! i laughed quite hard when that was stated😭😭

[@BritishMotherfucker]

I IMMEDIATELY GOT THE REFERENCE LMFAO

[@subekyuuke]

Also, the bit with the Spamton fic and "I say I'm a freelance writer but in reality I do this" hit way too close to home... I used to call myself a freelance author who writes derivative erotic works under a pen name and self-publishes them for free online which was basically just 13 year old me's really elaborate way of saying I wrote Dragalia lemons. Maybe if I get back into writing I'll start just calling myself a self-published freelance author again.

[@gretablackwell495]

I once went on a search through ao3 for the worst possible descriptions of human anatomy. I highly regret it. Saw the word “flesh toilet” to refer to a vulva and I decided to quit my nightmare quest while I was behind

[@schoo9256]

FLESH TOILET

[@twotruckslyrics]

my worst one i encountered was “pulsing gate” i couldnt take it seriously after that man

[@k_redacted5353]

Your hot sauce tolerance is incredible, like seriously

[@thelazyomegawolf939]

reading smut in public: 😐😐😐 reading found family in public: 💞✨🥰💘🗯️💗💓💖💝😍🤩

[@Lector_Omniscius]

Omg yesssssss I love that one ❤❤❤❤❤❤mha rightttt

[@Astr0iceDrag0n]

Found family is the best trope

[@AdamFishkin]

P.S. You did well with the sauces, Coley. I am generally aware that they go HARD on Hot Ones, to the point where some of the manliest men who guest on the show are known to cry within 3 or 4 sauces. So for 7 to be your breaking point is still impressive.

[@DecayOpossum]

33:12 The hot sauce equivalent of “This edible ain’t shit”. 38:08 Aaaand the lesson was not learned.

[@gratefulcranegames]

19:55 hearing Coley unblurred feels like hearing my mom swear, that’s the only way I can explain this

[@ddee8548]

could I read these with a straight face? sure. can I listen to coley read them out loud? no.

[@gnocchinope]

Any Genshin smut has a 20% guarantee to be the most horrific, stomach churning, toe curling, eyelash ripping, nose running, eyes burning thing you might ever see.

[@gnocchinope]

Childe x Hamster still makes me want to cry myself to sleep.

[@Ducking_Wanderer]

Coley.. The "Bible fandom" PFFF- WHAT-. That's just a Veggietales Fanfic! 🤣 But what did they do to my boy, Larry?! That one had me rolling.

[@-Venus-_]

Reminds me of when I looked at the “Praise kink” tag. The authors warned me and then I did but holy shit did they really make that shit funny to read with the humor

[@creation1233]

Not even past the first fic and I’m dying. Thank good I didn’t decide to eat hot sauce with you. There’s gonna be a lot of pausing today. Edit: on fic two. God end my suffering Edit 2: fic five can we just end the earth? Edit 3: fic nine, hey God, it’s me again. I don’t wanna be here. Edit 4: 45:18 COLEY ARE YOU A MASOCHIST OR SOMETHING???? DONT OFFER TO DO THIS AGAIN WHAT-

[@sunflare1492]

Fic 2 and I was already curling in on myself XD

[@aromanticfranziskavonkarma]

thankfully i had already built up a tolerance to having to read about tow mater having sex but the jesus x larry one broke me, especially because i ended up reading the full thing

[@YaburuRunyaru]

I cannot tell you the amount of sheer will it took to keep a completely straight face throughout all of this as I listen to this through earbuds at work with people around me.

[@cloudenvy47]

You are brave, soldier.

[@hugblob8753]

I made the mistake of trying to eat a very nice tuna sandwich during this. Thanks Coley for making me unable to eat the rest of a great tuna sandwich

[@foxowar3953]

I bet the Grilled cheese fic was the worst for your attempt at eating lmao

[@Daelyah]

Shouldn't blame her when she had a disclaimer at the start, you just lost the game you set for yourself

[@hugblob8753]

@@Daelyah Oh yeah no I totally agree. In the end, I totally brought this upon myself. It was my fault that I thought I was strong enough to be able to power through the video whilst eating lunch.

[@hugblob8753]

@@foxowar3953 Omg the grilled cheese fic was fucking disgusting. It was definitely the worst.

[@xiesie_xiesie]

Nooo not the tuna sandwich!!

[@IceQueen975]

"I've got you now, Jesus!" Me, wheezing: wHy ArE wE bRiNgInG tHe LoRd InTo ThIs?!!?

[@finandmamo6173]

I fucking screamed at “I can’t believe it’s not butter” lmfao 😭😭😭

[@Smokey_Prime9000]

The Transformers fic caught me off guard. Hearing someone read Transformers smut out loud made me laugh b/c I now realize how weird it sounds, with the anatomy & stuff lmao. Overall great video, hope to see you suffer- I MEAN do this again soon :)

[@AutobotSilver17]

yeah fr

[@mysticmonarch5859]

SUPER TRIPPY to see a fic I wrote on here... I think you did it justice 😂. The idea for this video in general is really cool and you definitely just gained a subscriber. Sincerely, the author of Destibagel.

[@schoo9256]

Congratulations, you broke me. Excellent work. I just have to ask... why? How? I need backstory and yet I know the backstory will just be "lol I just thought of it one day and had to write it"

[@kiinther]

10:45 COLEY TRYING AND FAILING TO DO A SPAMTON IMPRESSION SENT ME 😭

[@weird_art_kid]

My cursed fanfiction story was back in fourth grade when I wanted to read Mario stories. I found a Mario x Yoshi smut without realizing and it was so disgustingly descriptive. I forever regret reading that, especially as a poor innocent child.

[@c0zmozys]

OH NO D:

[@midnightgamer-21]

Oh no not Yoshi D:

[@serenegenerally]

Bro 😭

[@Cage-CatYT]

The spamton x reader one legit made me cry, probably cause he's like one of my main comfort characters, and idk I'm gonna have to take a moment to recuperate myself

[@paradoxtatorstudios9681]

felt that I'm not surprised that there was a Undertale smut fic, but I had to skip it because I meant when I say I just C A N T

[@blueotteranimations1932]

Doing my own version, watching you read this whilst my dad is sitting a mere 5 feet away from me. Bonus, he likes to ask questions about what i'm watching if I react.

[@esleynopemos3470]

You're a trooper, Coley. Not the hero we deserve, but the one we need.

[@draconicfeline6177]

"This was painful, but I'd be down!" Coley don't call out my tastes like that. Also you have spawned a one shot idea in my head where a character forces someone to go through hot sauce. I weep for my sanity.

[@percex]

Watching Coley read crack smut for 45min was not something I thought I’d be doing today.

[@stalesourdough]

the heathers reference at 16:50 had me CACKLING help me i love bmc fans

[@juniper6938]

I sat down with my bagel to watch this video. Boy was I made uncomfortable by fic #1.

[@midnightgamer-21]

Oh no

[@Jack_the_Killer_Ex-Cop]

"Hey, you're an all star." Me almost immediately: *•~HEY YOU'RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON! LET'S PLAY-!•~*

[@b3nnefits]

“Dear god (is there a car god?)” Somehow got me.

[@rosaliepineda2033]

Fic #3 is unironically one of my favorites since I stumbled across it a while ago so seeing it here was so surreal LMAOOO

[@gothicdear3889]

Honestly, the hottest thing in this video was watching Coley go through at least 6 different hot sauces with almost no reaction.

[@WoodenCawie]

16:50 how did they managed to put a Heathers reference in that 😭😭 as a theater kid myself this SQUIP part made me laugh so hard wth

[@madamproducer2102]

Coley, what day will you be hosting the group therapy live sesh? Cause I feel like we're gonna need one.. 😁

[@kespblaze8560]

And can I please attend

[@your_average_nerd6861]

Same

[@CelestialBug]

I'll bring the charcuterie board.

[@Ollie_Artz]

I'll bring the ice cream and blankets for crying

[@Crown1923DC]

I'll bring in the refreshments

[@TheKingofGods69420]

The weirdest but best spice fic I've read was an XCOM fanfic with a oc character x torque the snake girl It was surprisingly sweet

[@elliejetsies]

that actually sounds really cute! :D

[@ShadicTheChosenOne]

What's the name? It's not for research, it's for me.

[@TheKingofGods69420]

​​​​@@ShadicTheChosenOne its called XCOM Chimera squad: Coiled with Torque And yes those tags are for real Also when your done reading tell me what you think

[@ShadicTheChosenOne]

@@TheKingofGods69420 That first chapter was really sweet. I really liked it, thanks!

[@TheKingofGods69420]

​@@ShadicTheChosenOne spread the word about it more people need to know Also the next chapter is really good too

[@V4lient]

Watching this as someone that doesn't read fanfic is....interesting, an experience to say the least Fic 7 made me question all my morals

[@itsevie7865]

Oh no 💀

[@abbyception0719]

Welcome to Be More Chill, where everyone is either wholesome or so horny you may as well call them a dinosaur with all them horns goddamn

[@V4lient]

@@abbyception0719 Not sure if I'm glad or not that I never joined the fandom when it was big I just started listening to the musical in 2021 💀

[@itsevie7865]

BMC makes everyone think is this really my life. Is this what I’m doing with it. You get used to it after a while

[@V4lient]

@@itsevie7865 That's one way to put it

[@sodanix9147]

absolutely speechless with that lary the cucumber one... my brother is christian.... gonna go cry now

[@m.0186]

i’m ngl i was doing fine on the destiel bagel fic but the “i can’t believe it’s not butter” line got me 😭

[@dusk4974]

I've read a lot of questionable fics, just wasn't expecting Bagel SexTM to get to me that much and make me fight laughter. Then again, I'm someone who finds porn more amusing and funny than arousing. There's only one man who does that for me and he's my boyfriend, so. Yeah. I'm reading these with him.

[@junebug-dot-com]

12:05 i was completely desensitized to this because in English about a week ago, I went through about 5 different presentations of Shrek fan-fiction presented to the class

[@cimonimrolll2732]

This is incredibly cursed. I had to take so many breaks to avoid dying from second-hand embarrassment.

[@belclarke541]

"It didnt cut off Anakin's legs because he didnt have any." that had me screaming laughing

[@Sydberry]

I'm not surprised that this is a video idea, but I certainly wasn't expecting the level of spice

[@birchbarks550]

Had half a heart attack when I zoned back into fic 17, I read a Imposter x Crewmate fic that would probably fit in here AMAZINGLY a few months back and thought that was that,, horrifying especially when I read it unironically

[@brittlerockets4880]

I was so happy to see my recommendation in here! Too bad coley didn’t continue the zhongchi smut, there was “staff of carnal desire” in there somewhere :D

[@_MnVisin_]

This has encouraged me to write an Elmo fanfic with smut. Do I know anything about Elmo? No. Will I make Elmo get pregnant? Yes. I regret being born

[@normanclatcher]

The primal fear I felt at reading this was less than I expected, but still non-zero.

[@thatgayliengremlinp4766]

I don't regret you being born, put the link in here when it's finished :)

[@_MnVisin_]

@@thatgayliengremlinp4766 Will do, it'll be out in a day or so

[@andromeda_va39]

You can't mean the same Elmo I'm thinking of, right? RIGHT??

[@_MnVisin_]

@@andromeda_va39 . . . Well, uhh. Oh, would you look at the time! I've got to go walk my fish

[@HCSAgirl99]

I feel cursed but I would watch this as an annual series

[@machinegunlament]

I can't believe Coley had her italicized "Oh." moment on the 8th sauce

[@TheCoffeeCrow]

Just hearing that bagel smut existed killed me, I already know I will fail this lol.

[@zheng_waanyun]

I got a Panera bread ad after the destiel bagel fic… I don’t know what to think of this.

[@Lemonne-]

The urge to create the ultimate crackfic smut in one of my niche fandoms is so overpowering

[@DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose]

Me: *reads title* Welp, definitely not any from me then. I'll write the occasional smut, but not without a full-on plot to surround it. 😆 I could *never* write anything cursed, I'm too good at mental picturing. 😅

[@JabamiLain]

Yours is the best kind of smut anyway. Smut means nothing to me without the love to fill my heart.

[@DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose]

@@JabamiLain Thank you. 😊

[@JabamiLain]

@@DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose you're welcome. I mean, I am a super fan of an anime that uses constant sexualization... But since the sexualization serves a purpose for the story, the characters and their passion (both for the best and the worst), I actually love seeing it.

[@Maradrafts]

@@JabamiLain Sooo... I'm almost positive you're talking about something else but somehow the series that came to mind reading this description was Food Wars. :D

[@JabamiLain]

@@Maradrafts I am. It's a gambling jounen called "Kakegurui". The reason it sounded familiar to you was because "Food Wars" is also a Jounen that, like "Kakegurui", decided to do something different. By the way... Why food ? And... How do you create strong emotions from that and watching people compete to make it ? I mean, with "Kakegurui", the gambling really sells the idea that you don't need super power based fights to feel the show's intensity and understand the impact those fights can have on both the individual and the society they control. But... How do you do that with food competitions ?

[@pikaqte5418]

All of these are making me wheeze but ngl my brain is like "no not Megatron and starscream, please no theyre not good together." And the fact that that's my takeaway probably says it all.

[@Its_Asteria]

Bahia same though I agree. Guess we're both a little messed up

[@KagamineProductions]

Thank you for nope-ing out of the Jesus/tomato one. I shared this with a friend before I fully watched through this and I may have mild regrets.

[@weebofakind2516]

Thank you Coley for doing all the things we're afraid to😅

[@snowqueen3166]

I was crying laughing at the bagel one. how did you make it through so far without flinching... such talent 😭

[@nikk-named]

This video has convinced me that I not only read far too few crack fics, I also definitely need to start writing them

[@light.blue.lemonade63]

When I needed her because of a bad sleep and my period coming up. She came back ❤

[@eyeless.spider]

coley: "this fic is called Sex Metal Barbie" My metalhead ass: whomst has summoned the ancient one

[@felixettos]

i think this is the best place to share my newest surreal experience of reading fanfiction about a duck and a human fucking in great detail with a straight face while i was in a room with 3 old people, a child and both of my parents while eating pop corn. i can't believe i actually did this. would do it again.

[@mayas3422]

cant believe coley had an oh? _oh._ moment with hot sauce

[@DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose]

The closest I've probably gotten to any major spice was reading fics that elaborate on/try to make sense of Christine Daae & Erik/the Phantom's one night stand which they sing-recount in Love Never Dies, something of which I've also made-up scenarios for because *what* was Lord Andy thinking, having them sing about a hook-up with zero context. 😆

[@Maradrafts]

Oh yeeeah, I remember that one! I'm not directly familiar with the Phantom of the Opera canon (outside of reading the original source) but I've watched both Lindsay Ellis and Musical Hell's review of Love Never Dies, and both spoofed and ribbed Beneath a Moonless Sky to no end - great entertainment. :D The latter wrote an even more explicit parody as a way of poking fun at the lyrics... and guess which version I'll sometimes feel like belting out out of the blue when no one I know has context for it. Oo I adore the idea of reading Love Never Dies fanfic, though, given how many people have pointed that the show itself felt like a Phantom fanfic ^^. You're multiplying the layers there! (also just realized you were the OP in the Food Wars convo I was having with another commenter, so hi again, and sorry to invade your topics ^^; )

[@DJtheBlack-RibbonedRose]

@@Maradrafts Oh yes, I've seen BAMS ribbing a-plenty over the years, and I even looked up the full parody lyrics that Diva borrowed for her video. Needless to say, I'm amazed she sang what she did with a straight face. 😆And yep, if there's going to be LND phanfic, might as well check out and see how many phans tried to make better what was already itself a phanfic. 😉No need to apologize, you're not invading at all! I checked out your Food Wars convo that resulted from my other comment for this video and it's cool you were able to converse about it through my original post. That's the beauty of response threads sometimes. 😊

[@warriormaiden9829]

@@Maradrafts Okay, I *NEED* the name of that parody song... 😂

[@Starfinss]

I’m a fanfic author, and my friends know that showing me things like this is the way to torture me the most effectively. It makes me laugh but also kills me inside.

[@aforgottenreality68]

watching this in school during my free period. Wish me luck in containing my laughter

[@lindybarnes641]

I would love to see another one of these. There’s bound to be more hilariously cursed fics out there.

[@eclipsedmoon87]

I remember a song about Elmer Fudd getting VERY sensual with a grilled cheese sandwich, so I can see that fic being quite plausible

[@JillyBear04]

I can read smut in public, but certain terms just always make me crack up

[@windsmith4048]

The best/worst part of the grilled cheese story is that it's only a little bit cannon, in one episode of the loony tunes show he does sing a love ballid about grilled cheese and at the end he is shirtless with the grilled cheese in his bed. That fan fic made me remember that that was a thing.

[@anq4274]

One day, one day We're gonna see Coley byt a book shelf and put those books on it, some day, that piano will see the light.

[@4c_aperture]

finna tag daniel greene for the next bookshelf roast