Comedian Solves Israel & Palestine

[@Youdontknowwhatliterallymeans]

I met Italians in Italy who spoke English with less of an accent than ethnic Italians in the U.S. and Canada.

[@hellacoorinna9995]

"GAbbagool fuggeddaboudit bibbity boopity canole, eeeehhh!!" "Wow, so where in Italy are you from?" "Jaaaahhhooizy"

[@samy7013]

@@hellacoorinna9995 : Accurate. 💯

[@sidneybuckaloo]

“Even God knew that women wouldn’t be able to handle that level of gossip.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m fucking dying.

[@flankspeed]

One of those, "How has no-one seen this before...?" 😂😂😂

[@locki13]

The vicar of dibley is definitely shades of this....

[@sidneybuckaloo]

@ yes! How has no one put this together until now?!

[@nimnone]

Yeah, ”and then what happened” was the best line in the bit

[@Ldroyalty]

Solving both of Greta Thunberg's problems in one joke 🤣

[@ianp6742]

That was so good lol

[@zehnerevans7063]

​@@ianp6742Yeah, but I think that girl has more than just two problems though 😢

[@shakirwang6564]

@@zehnerevans7063 she's a really good person. young leader and really inspiring

[@oleggold]

​@@shakirwang6564 She is a brainwashed hater. And her wokes went full circle to being for fundamentalist of Islam. What a crazy woman she is becoming.

[@UnschoolingCOM]

She actually has a real problem and a fake problem and finally she cares about the real problem.

[@Crocalu]

If you read the hadith (basically DLC for the Quran) the origin story of the burqa is closer to what Ryan joked than you might think

[@ShockedSquirrelhere]

Fr tho

[@Fishmanglitz]

The land of belly dancing predicted the obesity epidemic and preemptively did every bro a solid.

[@ChoKahnMiwang]

lol @ dlc for the quran

[@SierraSierraFoxtrot]

Describing it as DLC is pure gold.

[@michaelanderson8339]

Why is our business what their culture is?

[@metoo7557]

Once upon a time, even when cell phones were normalized cab drivers never spoke on the phone. never, it wasn't professional. Now every cab i take the driver is looking to multi task with every second on the road. it's terrifying sometimes.

[@markekar6021]

huh? im from nyc... NEVER was there a time like that lol. brick phone in hand since the 80s baby

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

New Yorkers never had manners in the first place

[@CreamCobblerFiend]

At this point can we just admit that everyone has been a slave at some point in history

[@trains889]

Not really.

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

But if you pay attention to history then the perpetual victim class cant shame people into giving them money.

[@PepecoHub]

i'm not a slave, well, except to bills... and taxes... and sometimes pu**y, dang it, you're absolutely on point, f*ck!

[@Stevie-J]

but then I get less gibs

[@NN-qj4sk]

@@trains889 why not?

[@radagast7200]

The irish had it really rough for a long time.

[@erichg1000]

Yeah but when have they suffered lately?

[@MushroomMagpie]

My great great grandmother was an Irish slave. The trauma coming through her has affected our family many generations down in various ways.

[@The-Man-On-The-Mountain]

Yeah what they did to them is atrocious, and no one ever talks about it. Funny though, how they don't shoplift in mass or demand reparashuns... Just saying.

[@donaldducklas4155]

⁠@@erichg10001930’s was the last time. Indentured servitude is the same thing. More recent than 1860’s, yet is never mentioned.

[@davidswanson5669]

What’s hard to assess is how much it was slavery, that caused the culture of the Irish and Blacks to become corrupted and degenerate. Thomas Sowell dives into it pretty good, but I don’t recall him drawing parallels between the fact that both groups were once enslaved. Regardless, it seems that slavery did not contribute to the relatively recent corruption of black culture.

[@timopper5488]

“Yuck. Put this on.”-some groundbreaking Muslim

[@rafewheadon1963]

no, the burka exists because Omar was creeping on Sauda, the prophets wife when she went out at night to take a shit. while she was pooping Omar pops up and says "i recognize you sauda," and so he complained to muhammad. "moe, i was gonna rape her but then i saw shes your wife, so you should have her cover up or else il rape her" and so after this, the revelation to muhammad by Allah that women need to cover themselves. True story

[@Voting-does-nothing]

Everyone needs to read the Koran ....... And also understand that Muslims and Islam are totally different things

[@Yogurt_Fingers]

@@Voting-does-nothing First off it's Quran not Koran.. Start with knowing the name of the book. Muslim means follower of Islam.

[@Voting-does-nothing]

@Yogurt_Fingers all my Muslim mates hate islam but they are Muslims so..... The Koran is a very violent book and should not be taken seriously as a guide for modern life - my Muslim friends agree with this .....

[@Voting-does-nothing]

@@Yogurt_Fingers all my Muslim mates hate islam bro so no it doesn't dies it and the Koran isn't a guide to modern life my Muslim Mates say that too.... The Koran is not a step by step guide to modern life

[@martymcfly88mph35]

Ryan Long proves standup comedy CAN still be funny af. Hes maybe the only one in a decade i legit laugh with. Some guys are amazing comics but their comedy is better in podcast/rant form (Tim Dillon, Theo Von).

[@dumb14wanker]

Dude if you think canuck mc both sides are the same is the only funny comedian than idk what kind of taste you have, ryans funny but cmon

[@----Jay----]

The entire set was fantastic. I hope these clips from it drive more people to go check it out! Next time you release a special, I hope you can do it Louis CK style on your own platform and I'd definitely pay. If you bundle the next one with this free one, I'd even pay more as a retroactive thanks for release this on KZbin, so I can DL it.

[@erichg1000]

Settle down boy scout. Other people ain't tryin to pay

[@liberaltears1714]

Germans oppressed for 2 millenniums by Rome* No one cares* Finally gets good at empire* Everyone gets mad at them*

[@fZionists78]

Those who win write “history.” The Germans were also blamed for WW while the British started both.

[@CMCAdvanced]

They over compensated

[@CMCAdvanced]

​@@fZionists78I didn't remember England assassinating anyone

[@zeburgerkang]

lol it was the Holy Roman Emperor (mostly Austrian) that kept the Germanic tribes from forming otherwise they would have steam rolled through the old world like no-one ever could.

[@JothamBate]

@@fZionists78ah yes, it was the British that invaded Belgium in 1914 and Poland in 1939

[@courtneyc3608]

This is one of your top bits by a very large margin! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Stellar, sir, stellar! 🎉

[@sukhmindervirk]

Ryan Long for Congress!

[@HarryDoyle1988]

Unfortunately, he’s Canadian.

[@sukhmindervirk]

@ sweet! Lucky us.

[@GregMoress]

He's one of the very few comedians that keeps coming up with new material... and material that's good.

[@RayBetterThanEvilCanival]

“Do you guys think maybe the first guy to put his wife in a burka was because she was just gross” That one fucking killed me 💀😂

[@jjeez1977]

That was funny, however, the real reason was to hide who was wealthy and who wasn't when they went out of the city while on the rag (unclean) . The wealthy woman didn't get Targeted for rape.

[@Mdjagg]

The best sets are when the ladies are laughing just as hard as the boys!

[@allouttabubblegum1984]

The lady with the seagull laugh😂

[@theallegoryofthesheep]

You're fantastic Ryan. You deserve so many more subs. Us here would agree your stuff needs to go viral!❤😂

[@gurudogg123]

That, sir, was funny and entertaining. And now I shall subscribe.

[@TheArbiterOfTruth]

I like how people joke about Catholic priests, when there’s 100x more of “the little problem” in public schools 😂

[@lettybastien4624]

All women…..

[@zorrofox8950]

I ordered the Gaza City lego set on Black Friday, excited it assemble it.

[@Ivri616]

Quick! It gets 1% more gray every hour.

[@fZionists78]

“Assemble??” Gaza? Where two million people lived? That’s anti Semitic. If you don’t leave it in pieces it’s a hate crime, don’t you know?

[@henriklarssen1331]

Isnt it a bit boring to build a gigantic parking lot?

[@MushroomMagpie]

Don't you mean disassemble it?

[@zorrofox8950]

@@henriklarssen1331 Not if you have RC Merkava Tanks.

[@lookitthis6101]

That Irish job joke got me good

[@Twogenders685]

I am irish and descended from irish slaves. Give me money.

[@thundermarkperun1083]

yer just gonna go drinking with it, aren't you? 😆

[@Twogenders685]

@thundermarkperun1083 yes

[@Golemoid]

The audience liked that last joke more than the guy who said it

[@LimorG]

Love from Tel Aviv 😘😚

[@FruitlessRoaster]

Ew

[@jamesrgamesoffical]

@@FruitlessRoaster ew what

[@aCleverFoe]

Probably the opposite, I would think. The first guy to put his wife in a burka probably had the most beautiful wife in the country, and didn't want the king to kill him off to get her.

[@novareactor999]

Sounds like that guy had a micropenis.

[@celestialnubian]

This dude!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@reneeu1976]

This was so solid, start to finish! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ScubesFTW]

Your nobel peace prize is in the mail

[@thenationaltimelyactionhou9328]

OMG, the Jews control the weather? Jacob, it's winter in Canada, turn the heat up a bit please, I'm freezing my balls off!

[@JuanAppleseed-ge6tb]

Im Irish, Jewish, and Native American. I shit you not, nobody gives a fuck what I think, even though literally all of my heritage has been oppressed 😂😂😂

[@TrumpWon420]

Yet you waisted the time to complain again here. Think you'd learn.

[@teach9906]

@@TrumpWon420wasted*

[@pleb9243]

Nobody gives a shit because ALL people in history has been oppressed one way or another This oppression thing is nothing more but an Steam or Xbox achievement now. Some wanna collect it all, but its mostly worthless

[@NovaZero]

Nah he repressed it again. By not cring about it himself 😂​@@TrumpWon420

[@fZionists78]

Everyone but those in charge is oppressed. Ironically those pulling the strings are the only ones pulling the victim card.

[@יהודיתת-ש7כ]

As an Israeli, I approve 😂

[@donHooligan]

why do you disagree? i mean...you're lying, right?

[@דם-נמר]

@@donHooligan what do you mean disagree, he said he approves

[@דם-נמר]

I also approve as israeli🤣

[@DeepSeaShark-z8v]

🇮🇱 won't last the decade

[@roseredremix]

I see Ryan I click. And he’s right I’ve had women pastors….it was gossip central growing up! 😂😂😂

[@santoss5807]

Not just women tho, men communities especially from Charismatic and Pentecostal love to stick their nose in other's problems :))))

[@NikoBellaKhouf2]

The land doesn't belong to any religion, just the indigenous peoples.

[@MADDcartman]

Greta has been real quiet since this post.

[@aoteren]

That's totally a clickbait title, but it was worth it! That is the best solution!))))

[@nicokent9648]

Damn this might be one of your best few minutes I’ve seen 🎉

[@betzalelfonteijn6106]

I reckon it was a man's daughter's who were first burqa'd. They married strange men. The Israel Palestine? Write up win conditions and what is going to happen to the losers, and you may have a deal. Also need to address the question of the competitions enforceability.

[@justincase7848]

As a jew, i found that climate joke hilarious

[@moonfour4]

Alittle bit funny

[@LevLavy]

As a Jew I reduced the temperature a bit and now I get to keep Israel. Human breath is warm, blowing the ground just makes it hotter, Muslims don't stand a chance, they blew it.

[@StevieObieYT]

This just keeps on getting funnier and funnier. Hahahaahahhah 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@Centrinario]

The burqa joke killed me 🤣🤣🤣

[@linus8247]

2:24 jews and muslims

[@newbeginning1510]

Just heard Muslim jokes not Jew

[@up3203]

When are you coming to Boston?

[@SH3V3K_14]

Or, maybe, all muslims could agree to fart at the same time during the prayer and that would push the earth a little further from the sun? 🤔🤔🤔

[@Petesworkshop2225]

😂

[@C.I...]

They would all have to lie anus skywards on the same side of the earth facing the sun, then do it again in precisely six months time.

[@BeauxbaVettt]

That's how they accidentally solved global warming in "Frisky Dingo!!" 😂😂😂

[@thundermarkperun1083]

Now, that's not going to work. First of all, methane is a greenhouse gas, and second of all, the spicy Halal air would not achieve escape velocity.

[@wakjob961]

Yep, prohibition was a rough time for the Irish.

[@Icedxylophone]

Amazing fucking set!

[@yonahlessard9582]

I am going to enjoy some Guinness this Shabbes... love from Israel

[@ameliabrand2138]

How do you feel about the war.? I’m interested to know what an average Israeli thinks of the situation

[@swaggerdo7231]

Everything mentioned here is historically accurate. And it is fucking funny. subscribed and will view more of this potato water bog jumper.

[@Ifyouarehurtnointentwasapplied]

😂😂 the first paper bag was a heshan sack 😂😂😂

[@mattresbert]

Brilliant stuff ❤

[@Sasq420]

"what if we just cover them up?" Immediately "On Tour:" schedule pops up. R.O.F.L. Fantastic outro to the video haha

[@cheyennealvis8284]

Monty Scott had a cool Italian thing that expands on that joke 😄😁

[@philipparker1319]

The Irish were also the slavers 1000 years earlier. Dublin was a slave trade hub. St Patrick was a Welsh slave. Sorry for the uncomfortable history lesson. ;-) Love your comedy.

[@glimmo43]

lol great set

[@ahhcmon9604]

I actually think the 1st burka woman was hot, that's why he wants her to wear it in public but not at home

[@santoss5807]

How hot? I meant obviously her poop was hot, the so called "profit" companion annoyed by seeing the so called "profit" Wife shitting around without cover :((( That's why the rule is being made :))))

[@funvideoperson5268]

Lol, praying for gobal cooling and making fun of Jewish space lasers, lol!

[@casualobserver3145]

So that’s why I could never get hired….

[@dogma7346]

Get this man in the socio political mix

[@Gavdutchname75]

😅 In my country we're still dinning out on William Wallace 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@aguyfromnothere]

Everyone was slaves….well almost everyone.

[@zehnerevans7063]

what is the orher half? 🤔

[@chrismejia6274]

One of the best stand-up specials since Shane Gillis put out his KZbin special!!!

[@bob-xy4nj]

IM A HUGE FAN FROM ISRAEL

[@Fierceprotector]

Free Palestine. Bring peace to this world.

[@elijah10843]

@@Fierceprotector contradictory statements

[@interrobangings]

​@@Fierceprotectorthe world would be far more peaceful without the "religion of peace"

[@DJVARAO]

Eyan, eres infinito!😂

[@elgremio0]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH RYAN! What a G

[@FionnCr]

About as Irish as ikea

[@NO_ONE58-1]

Idk how i juat found bam margeras brother and hes funny af lol

[@pedrosaraiva8097]

This guy!😂😂😂

[@tynytian]

1:45 Idk why Roman catholic priests are required to be celebate anyway. Orthodox Catholics have always had married priests.😂

[@gottesurteil3201]

The answer they would give I believe is because celibacy gives them more opportunities to focus on their spirituality. But I believe that celibacy should be completely voluntary. Married men can be just as wise.

[@elishevak.6795]

Solving two of Greta thunbergs problems at once 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AKABeestYT]

Wait is this a show or a sketch

[@StephanieTae]

still just as funny as when i watched the full special LMFAO

[@yanaiauspicious6242]

Tough crowd lol

[@Im_Z_4747]

2:30 2 billion .

[@spirenguard]

Mr. Floyd certainly tried with that bill in the beginning

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

Failed that speech check pretty hard.

[@NathanLWHughes]

This guy is almost too funny.

[@bobthebuilderhecanbuildit]

SO GOOD

[@teyanuputorti7927]

Crazy man

[@andrewkielbasowycz1915]

"Do you think its possible...?" Had me dying

[@Sahar-kf6uo]

Palestine *

[@interrobangings]

Paleslime*

[@thomasladders7481]

Wow.

[@dilwindersingh-x7b]

2 billion muslim on earth we are screwed lol.

[@Ossama161]

Yeah we have been here for ages. We didn't start any world wars, build nukes , change the climate, spread diseases........

[@abee4138]

In mouslim countries burka,in usa paper bag over head

[@Jebu911]

Its kinda funny that real Italians dont consider any american born person an italian.

[@linus8247]

I always imagines Burqas were invented during a long-ago pandemic, where their society was divided about mask wearing, and then they sort of solved it like that, women typically put more value on safety and hygene and privacy so they were mostly cool with it

[@RealLifeIronMan]

With sandstorms you want to protect your face. So arid desert habiting people tended to cover their faces anyway. When people are covered from head to toe, any skin shown becomes too tantalizing. Anciently, pandemics didn't really get off the ground. Not enough opportunities to pass on disease and if you showed obvious signs of disease you were banished. Pandemics only really happen with cities and established trading routes. Which did exist in those areas, just not to the extent as exists today.

[@linus8247]

@@RealLifeIronMan so the reason in their society most men stopped covering their face so much, while women continued, was mainly just the attraction/safety/privacy stuff, not some sort of political compromise?

[@DickTator6969]

they weren't cool with it , they were forced to wear them because muhamad could not see a woman and not getting horny yes arabs tended to cover themselves because of sand storms but islam specifically took that and applied it on women for modesty reasons .

[@brettcav]

Yes....the theory of the first burka 😂

[@blottolotto7648]

LMAO!!

[@BruceLee-kf7rl]

Fake laughs

[@shmaxwellz]

*2 billion Muslims. How many Jews?

[@Mr_Doritos]

10M+

[@infernoking7504]

I would just get rid of both sides because clearly neither one can be good

[@ulysses5439]

woman-tier decision making

[@DickTator6969]

maybe get rid of you

[@markekar6021]

did he just call italians white??

[@Seiyariu]

If they arent white what are they?

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

Its a common mistake, but an annoying one.

[@Yazdan1358]

Had potential to be funny :/

[@harry.flashman]

😂😂😂

[@twentysecondnomad8177]

🤣🤣😂😅🤣🤣

[@Schlabbeflicker]

Restore the Kingdom of Jerusalem Again.

[@guythat779]

gets to keep palestine's land*

[@MehWhatever99]

How about gets to keep Canaan. No Canaanites around to object anyway. Would that make you happy? Have a sense of humor. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Also, as a Jew, I accept that challenge. I’m mean what’s more likely to solve the problem? Jewish science (from a population of 15 million)? Or 2 Billion Muslims blowing on the earth (or Muslim science 🤷🏻‍♀️)? 😂

[@heyred1368]

Did he just call Italians white, wtf?

[@psyopdomo]

they are?

[@someanimefan5990]

Why do you think Italians are not white?

[@PrettzL]

You just now finding out what is white?

[@Aaronton]

yea he called white people white. What's he gonna do next, call black people black!!??

[@interrobangings]

olive skin is still basically white

[@ah4356]

You guys don’t even know the phenomenon the Quran is. It’s a treasure to the world.

[@WaaDoku]

1:40 That's not true. Catholic Church is changing quickly, they already have female priests.

[@ThomCoe]

Certain churches are changing but then they get ratted out by parishioners and then slapped down by archbishops “back to the past, ya modernist bastard!”. And there will never be female Catholic priests. It’s literally impossible for it to happen, thanks to scripture and tradition.

[@HowardFBeale-ql6gk]

🤤

[@VABJMJ]

No we don't... And the Pope declared that it is infallibly taught that they can't be priests, which closes the door to that definitively...

[@JoeL91939]

@@VABJMJthe Word of God as scribed by the Apostle Paul forbade it.

[@WaaDoku]

@@VABJMJ So I guess the female priest in my Church identifies as a man or something? lol

[@tonymadigan2324]

He didn't solve it....saved you a click

[@bogart.it-techrepair]

You realize people still had to click it in order to see your comment I’m sure

[@Bobimk]

@@bogart.it-techrepair he was looking for a solution to war in a comedy skit... i don't think he gets sarcasm

[@tonymadigan2324]

@bogart.it-techrepair yes im just taking the piss out of people that put this stupid comment on things....obviously a comic didn't solve the Palestine Israeli conflict

[@tonymadigan2324]

@@Bobimk that comment is the definition of irony

[@bogart.it-techrepair]

@@tonymadigan2324 well played