The Most Hated Activist Group

[@RyanLongcomedy]

FULL SPECIAL: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnPVlYCol9KtZ8U ON TOUR: Las Vegas: Dec 13/14 Minneapolis: Jan 17-19 Edmonton: Jan 24-26 Phoenix: Feb 14-16 Portland: Feb 25/26 Tacoma: Feb 27-March 1 LA: March 30 Irvine: March 21/22 San Jose: March 23 Tampa: March 28/29 Salt Lake City: April 11/12 Denver: April 13 Atlanta: April 25/26 Baltimore oct 3-5 San Diego: June 20-22 ryanlongcomedy.com

[@BrettonFerguson]

I'm pretty sure it was chicks calling other chicks witches. The guys were building the bonfires, but the girls were the ones pointing the fingers and then laughing to themselves when Betsy got burned alive. "Teach that bitch to take johnny to prom. He's mine!" -Abagail Torchsetter

[@terrapin323]

Great clip

[@amadeus.k331]

just stop oil and antifa are the most hated...blm was tge most hated, but this free paestine garbage is getting up there quite fast and seems to have replaced them.

[@josephscott2071]

The Salem witch trials were girls accusing other women because they were super jealous of them.

[@hello93617]

I'd always heard that it was due to a fungus that grows on wheat and was heat resistant. Essentially, the entire village tripped until they went through the tainted flour, but nobody knew what was going on.

[@kaiganardea9275]

Ergot bread definitely had something to do with salem

[@josephscott2071]

@@hello93617 I think I heard the same thing on Rogan .

[@Stevie-J]

@@hello93617 Magical fungus taking over a town and women taking accountability for their actions are equally likely scenarios

[@hello93617]

@@Stevie-J If you think magic mushrooms are far fetched, your brain will explode when you learn about LSD.

[@acs78393]

The boiling lobster act out is legendary

[@jkseraphim4]

I love that one😂.

[@BallisticPlate]

Go back and look at the Salem witch trials. You might be surprised who usually started the accusations.

[@kyledabearsfan]

Petty women can be dangerous

[@batacafe]

And they're at it again but now is false SA accusations.

[@BlackDiamond2718]

@@batacafeSA-lem

[@TraditionallyTexan]

@@batacafe i cant believe there aren't specific charges for false allegations like that yet. Especially when they're dumb enough to make them while on bodycam? Like blatantly false.. I've known a few guys that seriously got caught up in stuff like that. Even if your found innocent, or charges dripped, it doesn't mean you reputation is automatically restored. There are always people who look at you funny after that, really sad

[@JavierSoto-t6z]

@@TraditionallyTexandid you see that security guard deleting that couple in California ? It was only a couple weeks ago and it was exactly that the wife cheated and lied about SA ruined the guys life and he snapped

[@gnome_farmer]

A homeless man told me the best place to gamble in las vegas.

[@iMAOusuc]

As a Las Vegas resident, I gurantee you he's got the experience to back up that claim lol

[@ericgraham2781]

Lobster screams in pain as it's being boiled alive. Chef:Nah, that's just gasses being released.

[@exzisd]

Ryan Long is hilarious. Don’t sleep on the Boyscast podcast with Ryan and Danny.

[@2Ahthelphi]

Nice try Danny, we know this is your alt account

[@JuanAppleseed-ge6tb]

The ASL challenge was my best friend in college. Never in my life did I realize I could convince women to participate in an impromptu wet T-shirt contest until the ASL challenge came along 🙏🏻♥️

[@goldenlizard92]

That was in 2014...it's time for the 10th anniversary.

[@Wired4Life2]

@@goldenlizard92 Have the titties fully ripened? 😜

[@johnnyj222]

That would be ALS. I have it. It sucks

[@TraditionallyTexan]

@@johnnyj222 I was going to say, how did so many women knnow American sign language, and are we women supposed to be doing favors like that for the deaf? No one told me..

[@janeyrevanescence12]

…I’m such an idiot because I was like “wait, Deaf people had a challenge?” Until I looked it up and remembered it was about Lou Gehrig’s

[@TimBitts649]

George Carlin said, "I try to pick up single women, at pro-abortion rallies."

[@kingdavid7516]

george carlin was a midwit comedian who screamed his jokes so people would laugh. he was also pro-abortion in his material, so that's him openly admitting he's a creepy male feminist only doing it to get in girls pants. inb4 "it was just a joke he said", yeah i understand that but his pro-abortion material is clearly not just a joke, just activism. i believe it.

[@beholdandfearme]

not really all that relevant considering this is a different comedian entirely.

[@Lopfff]

So did Dennis Reynolds

[@anythingthoughanythingthou2453]

@@kingdavid7516you’re right

[@midmogrowshow235]

Real ass dude of the week.

[@markp44288]

The subtlety of adding pieces like "the moon is in retrograde" which will go over a lot of folks' heads make this bit even better!

[@CoconutJewce]

I'm 50/50 as to whether that's on purpose or if that's just Ryan being the king of the Longoloids. lol

[@SineEyed]

The moon doesn't go into retrograde though..

[@olliefoxx7165]

Really? You think that went over people's head? Maybe your bubble.

[@josephdillon9698]

@@olliefoxx7165I agree it’s pretty dumb to think that but sometimes I forget there are people who don’t know the moon can be seen during the daytime. And some of those people go online and follow astrology.

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

I watched the full special twice, and I still watch every clip suggested to me. Such an incredible special.

[@maryelizabeth2751]

Me too!

[@longrider188]

It was spot-on. Darn good. He should be much more famous than he is.

[@meofamily4]

I have a degree in astronomy, and it is my obligation to note, that the Moon does not go into retrograde.

[@tanimal3964]

Well that's a bad sign if I ever heard one.

[@polysaturated]

Oh you wanna go on trial next?

[@meofamily4]

@@polysaturated Eppur se muove. -- Galileo, after conviction by the Inquisition for saying that the Earth orbits the Sun.

[@tburgess3426]

Wow look at mister science here. What are you going to tell me next, witches don't float?

[@olliefoxx7165]

Whaaaat? You mean he wasn't scientifically accurate? Next you'll claim astrology is made up.

[@sabsterblaster]

This guy is my new favorite comedian!

[@francisjo3]

"BROOMS!" hahahahahah

[@willconstantinople6434]

Finance crystals require an activation code, that's why the seller can't get rich off them...

[@ryanewald9740]

You also have to buy the latest edition. Last year's crystals have different vibes inside.

[@willconstantinople6434]

@ryanewald9740 yeah, that's the problem with 'Big Holistic' following the Apple model of production and release. I don't think they're backwards compatible with chants either; got to learn new words and mystical hand-waving.

[@Veiled_Aiel]

If I bought 15 shares of AMC but then they restructured and my 15 shares turned into 1 share with the power of 15 shares how many crystals do I have?

[@ZunarXJ59]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏

[@polysaturated]

About 25 kilojoules Fahrenheit in healing power, that’s nearly a square cubit per share.

[@RyanST89]

The whole special was great. Some of the best stand-up comedy I've heard in a Long time.

[@kikiursalone]

Nice

[@UltraSaltyDomer1776]

Can’t wait for you to get a special.

[@beholdandfearme]

this is his special. Then again Ryan's always special to me.

[@donalfoley2412]

Jack was right all along! But are the modern guys ready to fight the giant?

[@claudiarocks8844]

One of the few comedians and cast that genuinely make me laugh consistently 😂😂😂🙏❤️🕊️🇬🇧

[@TheMightyZim]

HODL those beans

[@guillaumelacerte]

That joke already didn't age well

[@jw70467]

Still funny

[@mason7067]

Fun fact, many witch burnings were held late at night to try and prevent crowds of onlookers.

[@a64738]

"Just stop...." Is the most hated activist group.

[@vanderful2397]

True, but I don't think they are that active in US.

[@mkultra2456]

No the most hated activist group is the pro-Ukraine guys.

[@mkultra2456]

UKRAINE IS DONE FOR, SON. TIME TO CHANGE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE.

[@Saltedslug382]

Why support money laundering and meaningless death in your profile pic?

[@brainlet99]

They should just stop, or atleast leave earth so they wont pollute it

[@rumorcontrol7873]

lmao Jack and the Beanstalk is great

[@obviouslyasockpuppet]

Mum is stack on fiat farming while Jack is trying to explain decentralized beanstalk technology.

[@thecanadakid7622]

Love that you always have new standup content, I feel like eevn the goats run off the same show for like 4-5 years at a time. great set.

[@mkultra2456]

You mean lamas.

[@Selrisitai]

You mean songbirds

[@Nylon_riot]

Most witches were actually convicted of deleting their husbands.

[@arbiterskiss6692]

A number were men accused of hard R.

[@jx2794]

Those crystals were actually making that girl money.

[@Nekophiliac]

The Hefner joke got me 🤣🤣

[@RevolutionBreeze100]

You're actually genuinely funny ... highest praise you can get from an Aussie ... come on down under .. you're our kind of humour!!!

[@enijize1234]

He did recently you dumbace. He did videos with Neil kolhatkar

[@SweetPappyJones]

Ryan is thoroughly crushing the comedy game. 🔥🔥🔥

[@thirdeye8285]

Ryan Longs stand up is so tight.

[@smareng]

1:56- This mic drop will never be topped.

[@electromagneticradiation305]

I just remixed the Malleus Maleficarum it's crazy to hear my dude talking about it. Witches main goals are baby sacrifice & demasculinization of men prosecution got intense

[@ufcisfake1]

Ryan Long is getting funnier and funnier lol

[@randall777]

Beanstalks or meme stocks, I'm all in!

[@OnkyoGrady]

"...brooms" lmao. I died

[@tunasandwich395]

Great routine 😂

[@lifeofliam2164]

the lobster fucking kills me

[@PS1Fan1991]

I missed his Australia tour... Doh

[@Bummerdrummer463]

Your tour is in my town on my birthday. Maybe I'll go!

[@leftgerm8670]

Looks like bam Margery if he was a comedian

[@JoshuaHopkins-j9o]

Women. If you can find me a genuine issue that is directly related to the collapse of western civilization... and can't trace that issue back to "feminism"... I will vote Democrat during the next election... and I haven't voted in 25 years

[@ZunarXJ59]

After careful reflection, I think you're onto something here. Fact check true.

[@jsbrads1]

So half a vote for the democrats? If you don’t vote, you are picking both parties.

[@JoshuaHopkins-j9o]

@@jsbrads1 ... Those of us who understand the metaphysical implications would argue that voting... "at all"... is giving consent to be governed. Picking or is like choosing Coke or Pepsi... both are poison. The illusion of choice while giving away your actual power but sure... i'm a .5 libtard if it makes you feel better about the inherent truth in my initial comment regarding modern women and their absurdity ;-)

[@Bob-qz5yj]

Ok, I'll bite. Online gambling, overly car centric infrastructure, Debt culture, the military industrial complex, homes as investment vehicles, cable tv misinformation, sugar addiction, the obesity crises. How are any of those related to feminism?

[@harryfloros8796]

@@Bob-qz5yjNice one, but the military-industrial complex really isn’t what it used to be in Eisenhower’s day. It all got severely downsized in the 90s after the collapse of communism. These days it’s big pharma throwing money at congressmen, senators and both parties.

[@Dan14833]

Great job Ryan

[@ChristiColonel]

Dude, gingers make the best comedians! You funny AF 😁

[@libernull1956]

The moon doesn't retrograde 🤣

[@douglasbailey5047]

Great set! I subscribed. Might catch you on tour.

[@segevstormlord3713]

I mean, she's selling finance crystals, and it might be making HER rich....

[@jonnytheshark]

No lobster for me! They have feelings and it's far too expensive.

[@avi3020]

My favorite joke 😅

[@CherubCow]

Beans beans beans!!!!

[@FattStuff_NFT]

thanks for the laughs!!! SENDING LOVE FAM!!

[@davidvonallmen19]

"but Jack's not a pussy" made me laugh out loud, sent that clip to every friend who owns crypto.

[@10amSanta]

Cheers, Ryan! Serving up some joy! :)

[@swaggerdo7231]

Intelligent comedic expression. please keep this standard.

[@louisduarte8763]

And I thought those pro-Palestinian protesters Who block traffic are the most hated.

[@TraditionallyTexan]

I don't think they're around much anymore. There's probably a new "popular cause" they're all onto now. I did enjoy the campus protests while they lasted though. 😂😂 They were requesting humanitarian aid. Lol. For what? Just get up and go get food and shyt. ... And take a shower while you're at it. Gross. If they really wanted to cut those protests off early, they should've just turned off the wifi. Those kids would've been gone in a single day.

[@warwolf88]

just found this guy love what I have seen so far😂

[@plumaDshinigami]

Cyclists - they demand you treat bicycles the same as cars yet also give these entitled jackasses plenty of space to move slow as molasses.

[@PepecoHub]

I remember a cyclist once cycling at the freaking highway section of my city, yelling "USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNALS" at a random car because the driver didn't use his/her turning signals to change lanes and the cyclist was the only soul besides me and that other driver, I slowed down my car until I was side-by-side with the cyclist, turned off my radio and yelled from the top of my lungs "USE THE FUCKING BICYCLE LANE YOU IDIOT"(there was, in fact, a bicycle lane in a good portion of that road, including the vast majority of the part he was cycling in, except he wasn't on it, he was in the middle of the road.), he looked terrified and speechless at me, probably afraid that had he talked back i'd had ran him over(as if i'd waste my freedom for a freaking cyclist haha) and retreated, mind you, not to the bicycle lane, to the freaking sidewalk bordering the bicycle lane

[@a64738]

You are actually required by law to treat bicyles like cars or any other vehicle on the road... Problem is the bicycles do NOT want to be treated same as cars, they want special treatment...

[@TheChiefonator]

I find most people who don't like cyclists can't cycle because they are too fat, or old and bitter. 😂

[@namelesswalaby]

People who dislike cycling give the same energy as those who hated Adel when she lost weight. You’re just mad you don’t have the courage to do the same.

[@RaveyDavey]

Cyclists are people who happen to be on bikes at that time. Your kids, your spouses etc. if anything people change when they get into cars.

[@caterinadelgalles8783]

Excellent!!!😂😂😂😂

[@renewagain6956]

Dude is legit funni.

[@dredey1971]

This guy is hilarious!!

[@alexandermashin5515]

03:10 Moon is never retrograde.

[@Mi11imani]

I love you.😆😆😆💜

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

This dude is A1! Come to upstate please 🙏🏼

[@chrisquiett1776]

The pain adds flavor. Just don't think about it 😂

[@hairyviking9248]

Bitcoin is currently worth $90k/coin. It was just $23k/coin in 2022.

[@SRose-vp6ew]

(1690’s) “Terrible time to be a witch.” 3:20 Him saying witch instead of women wasn’t a mistake. The Salem witch trials were actually grounded in real illegal witchy behavior including rebellion, being a nudist, threatening lives, manipulation, “pinching,” and cursing people with spells involving killing animals in Devil worship and pledging allegiance to doing evil with Satan instead of pledging to God and country. However, it “seems” the people conducting the trials were also evil and supposedly used it as a way to violate the women who were stripping and manipulating. It looks like it came in through voodoo slaves, so the first issue was enslavement.

[@Walleyedwosaik]

Yeah I’m actually done with the internet bro people are defending hanging women most of whom were just accused through hearsay from superstitious peasants. What is the defence of the SALEM F''KING WITCH TRIALS? Well how about the fact that they were GROUNDED IN "REAL" *ILLEGAL WITCHY BEHAVIOUR* LIKE BEING *NAKED* AND CASTING MAGIC SPELLS. We need education for media literacy for people before they access the internet holy shite 30,000 people were burned for casting magic spells and people think this is grounded in reality, BUT people think switching genders is the most insane thing ever irregardless of the evidence.

[@Geaxuce]

I thought a lot of the Salem witch stuff was due to women claiming other women they may have been envious of were witches. I'm not read up on this topic at all it's just something I'd heard

[@brahmabile]

stop talking during the set

[@SomeCanine]

"Well the lobster can't really feel it"

[@smicksmookety]

insane set, my dude.

[@kylescallion9790]

Hilarious, i needed a good laugh thanks ryan

[@kevinroark5815]

I think I found my favourite guy since Bill Burr

[@teyanuputorti7927]

Good point

[@kylebooker1987]

1:26 that's a good point. here's my counterargument. I. Don't. Care.

[@stevenw5013]

This is hilarious

[@davemo65]

Who is this guy? He’s hilarious!

[@longrider188]

If Netflix weren't so PC, they could give him a show. This is good old-fashioned comedy. The way it used to be prior to the Woke/PC movement.

[@cvn6555]

Pretty much how I've always felt about crypto. And gambling. Stayed far away from both. Slow and steady.

[@JackDaniel-p9s]

nah, behind him theres a vegan🫵🤣🫵🤣🫵

[@philljustphill1656]

the lobster thing is a safety concern, not a taste improvement

[@felviofernandez1225]

How so?

[@contessa.adella]

Yeah I love meat, but boiling anything alive is phukin screwed up and sadistic….No need for doing that.

[@shaun9625]

JUST STOP OIL has definitely become the most hated activist group

[@louisduarte8763]

They're the nuts who throw paint on priceless works of art in museums, right? Like, WTF does that have to do with oil?

[@TraditionallyTexan]

​@@louisduarte8763 they super glue themselves to stuff. Most adhesives are made from fossil fuels. They stop traffic.. putting pretty gross chemicals in the air, and wastes more gas. Extreme leftism is all about cyclical hypocrisy.. everything they say contradicts something else they've said, they just pretend not to notice it. Don't call them out on it either. They'll just call you names and scream incoherently at you.. not a fun time.

[@biform13]

NOW look at crypto prices since this special.

[@BlackDiamond2718]

I would guess vegans cause meat is core to our existence

[@GainsGoblin]

tell me what memecoins you're buying ryan I need my to find my giant beanstalk

[@reefread1234]

Look at Bitcoin currently Jack

[@brentkillian]

Most hated group is the environmentalist thar block traffic

[@Melchiah28]

Tom Brady should bought a "Don't let your wife cheat on you with the personal trainer"-stone. That would save him alot of money.

[@grogueQ]

Tom Brady's protection crystals were called referees. (You can use this one if you want.)

[@marks7502]

🧹

[@Handlegamer12360]

😂😂😂😂

[@RemotHuman]

terrorist groups are activist groups, so one of them is probably the most hated

[@slyguythreeonetwonine3172]

Me talking to vegans: We've learned plants scream when they are cut....murderer......... Suddenly I'm no longer called the same because I'm a normal human.

[@Rooted_69]

hahaha stay true 💚🌹👍💫🪜💯👌

[@blottolotto7648]

vegans 😂😂😂😂

[@BruceLee-kf7rl]

Very mediocre

[@TraditionallyTexan]

Bullshyt.

[@gfj172012]

25 secs

[@davidwhitney1171]

Actually, in 1690s Massachusetts witches were not burned at the stake- they were hanged. Burning at the stake was considered barbaric (!)...

[@kneegrow3906]

Titled the most hated activist group. Just stop oil was not mentioned once.

[@TraditionallyTexan]

I think maybe because it's not as big in America.. it's still going strong and pissing people off in other parts of the world, as far as I know. But Americans move from popular cause to popular cause pretty quickly.

[@kneegrow3906]

The useful idiots do. Slightly more than half of us are normal.

[@wallyd2d]

Eh guy come do a show in Toronto my guy. Guy…..

[@akarayan]

Release another special, dude. Get to work, damn