Coming Out Day (coming out as asexual story)

[@SliceOfAce]

Whenever people talk about coming out as asexual, the same words come up again and again. "Broken", "not normal", "alone". The lack of visibility about asexuality is perhaps one of the most difficult things when finding out you're asexual. You're great representation for our community!

[@ellietheunicorn7706]

Yeah especially since even in the LGBTQ+ community there's discrimination like people saying that it isn't really a part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum it's just like a choice at least that's what my experience has led me to believe

[@ellietheunicorn7706]

My point is it was very refreshing to hear someone stay so positive during this whole experience

[@mizuki3183]

I'm bothered about the lack of representation in every media. And all people tell me "ok, you're Ace but keep it to yourself" If every ace person kept to themselves a lot of people would still feel broken and alone. We need representation in media and we need accurate representation! Asexuality needs to be normalized the way other sexualities are starting to be

[@louenry]

I’m scared of falling in love. I get crushes a lot because there are so many aesthetically pleasing people out there. I’m scared that one day I’ll fall in love, but the person won’t like me because I’m asexual. And I know, I just have to wait for the right person and such, but I’m too scared to get hurt. I’m sorta in like a teen life crisis right now, I don’t know who I am, what I want in live. School ends in 1 1/2 years, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. (My anxiety and panic disorder doesn’t make things quite better. )

[@bknighttheemo8756]

Louenry I’m scared too because pretty much everyone around me is sexual and when sex won’t be part of my life it may be for other asexuals but for me I absolutely will not do anything sexual with a partner and on top of that I don’t ever want kids just romance it can be really hard to find another asexual person or sexual person who will be able to be with me because there aren’t many asexual people around me so I learned to accept that it’s not a big deal if I don’t find anyone I can be independent so for you I’m not sure but always be open minded is my advice maybe you will find someone that has your goals or is able to be fine with nothing sexual in a relationship even though they are a sexual person or lastly you might not be able to find anyone but you can have friends and loving people around you life is unpredictable at times so yeah I have pets and that makes me happy and family. The only advice like I said it’s great to keep an open mind and not to dwell on it too much and to ignore those ignorant people unless they are willing to learn if I can’t find anyone I’ll at least be able to teach others about my asexuality so peace 🐱✌️and hopefully I helped a little I still also need help but what I’ve learned is pretty helpful. I also have anxiety and depression what I’ve learned to cope with that is distraction lots of distraction and music oh music is so great I take it everywhere when I do homework when I take a walk etc I also read and I’m an artist so I sketch and stuff idk what would help you for that but pets really help too going out for a walk is nice anything that isn’t stressful is great also focus on your breathing. Breathing slowly is key I first learned that when my anxiety first started up it really really helped sorry long post idk just wanted this to help someone out if they needed

[@annymus4502]

Add an existential crisis to it, who are we? Why do we exist? Why do we stop living?

[@MkKinnie]

@Louenry @B KighttheEmo can relate.. (before I met my girlfriend) i would be so scared to tell my crushes I liked them because I’m Demisexual (under the asexual family) so I would deny the fact I liked them, one day i actually told my crush I liked him and he said yes after a few weeks he started to get toxic after I came out to him he would say stuff like “I don’t want you to talk to my friends because they’d call you a pig” or “that’s stupid how can you only fall in love with someone after a long time of knowing them” he even said *”Stop faking your sexuality you bisexual so deal with it”*, YES HE LITERALLY JUST CALLED ME BISEXUAL ( I have nothing agents bi people) after he started getting physical and hit me, I literally though I knew him but I guess not, after I broke up with him I felt to free, I told my older sister and twin brother what happened my sister asked how long has he been mentally abusing me and physically abusing me, I told her he was only physically hurt me for a week and mentally hurt me for about 3 months, my brother was super pissed and at school he yelled at him and then eventually started cussing him out, after I met two other people but I don’t wanna talk about them, then I just wanted to be free from relationships, after I met a girl and we got along, after a year and 1 month I fell in love with her, we ended up dating and still are, she protects me and makes me feel comfortable being with her, my siblings approved of her, hehe I think my younger sister only likes her because she cooks, so if you are somehow still reading my comment then here is some advice, 1. Take as much time as you want to tell your crush you like them 2. If they don’t accept you then think of it as “maybe they were just not ready or already like someone else” it’s ok to feel sad if that happens 3. If they begin to be toxic tell a family member and or break up with them 4. Be yourself (yes I know this is a corny one) if they can’t accept you then they were not meant for you 5. Umm I’m here if you ever wanna talk to me =v= Contacts ------- Discord: ♡♡ⓛⓞⓞⓜ♡♡ the numbers are 1345 Insta: LoomyLoomia ( I think that’s all sorry if all this was unnecessary 😅)

[@dot5845]

Hey howve you been?

[@nathanbenson2237]

I haven’t came out to my parents yet, don’t know when or if I will, but your videos will definitely help if it ever happens. Thank you

[@lilacproductions7185]

I am planning on coming out to my mom on her birthday and I’m really scared

[@im2rad4u93]

Your videos help me so much!! As an ace in a world filled with sexual things I always feel like "Maybe I should just shove my asexuality out the window and act like it's not there", but when I watch your videos I suddenly feel an overwhelming amount of "No! If I'm asexual, I'm asexual and that's part of who I am!" and that's honestly a feeling I've never felt before. I love to watch your videos whenever I get anxious about being Ace and I just want to say thank you!

[@nachotaco45]

I writing this for myself and anyone that needs to hear I remember one day I got judge for being asexual it happen when I was at school and it accidentally slipt and when it did this guy that I thought would understand because he was in the lgbtq+ community was saying that I all I need was to have sex and then I would like it and then went on to look up how many people are asexual and when he did it said 1% in North America and he was saying like oh look you just need help because it probably a mental disorder because not many people have it and when he said that I felt so broken like I was lying to myself and that I shouldn't have felt like this because like i said i thought he would understand cuz he was in the lgbtq+ and all i have to say is now that I respect that I am asexual I don't really care what people say and like I said I'm writing this for myself or anyone who needs to hear

[@mizuki3183]

Thank you! I struggled two years why I felt so broken and out of place with others and I'm so grateful for all the KZbinrs talking about different sexualities. If I didn't look up asexual, I'd still feel broken

[@CharlotteAdamsx]

Emi! It's Charlotte - we met at the student pride event the other week! This video is amazing dude. It's so freakin COOL to see people representing the ace community online because the lack of accurate representation is horrendous. Good on you girl! Glad you found happiness and pride in your sexuality! Thank you for being vocal and for your visibility. xx

[@liamodonovan3437]

I just found your channel but I love you so much great video your a very inspirational person iam also asexual but I have never told anyone love you

[@HuddUniVisualDesign]

Inspirational! Your self awareness is refreshing and I’m sure the openness and honesty of your account will help countless others. I totally recognise much of what you say as my great aunt was asexual but unable to express it (both publicly and privately) and so tragically lived much of her life in hiding. Be exactly who you are... you’re inspiring.

[@finntheace6205]

Needed to hear this today thanks for making this

[@oddly_ace2837]

Love your pfp!!

[@AmberJayneArt]

I’ve recently come out to myself and a few friends as Asexual. I’m 28, and I’ve been so confused about my sexuality for a looong time! I came out as gay only a couple of years ago, but have struggled since I was 16. I was so confused, as I have gay romantic feelings, and romantic crushes, but I’m almost certain I am asexual! I’d love to learn more about the asexual spectrum :) Great video!

[@AsiaKittyMC]

Your videos helped me finally accept who I was after years of being in a situation where it seemed the world was trying to change me, so thank you, and I hope to see more from you

[@chelseasmith2603]

Im almost 17 and my mom told me that it doesn't exist 2 years ago, it broke my heart. My two best friends know and i just told a coworker yesterday and she told me im too young to know. But people having sex at 13 aren't too young to know they like it? This has always confused me. I know who i am and i feel like no one will ever love me because i am asexual.

[@louenry]

Isaac Smith that’s not true (about people not loving you, just because you’re ace). You just haven’t met the right people yet, be patient.

[@chelseasmith2603]

@@louenry i hope so

[@franci4377]

Don't worry about what your mum says/said. Adult people doesnt have an open mind, usually. But that doesnt mean anything, they are just ignorant. You know what you are. Today for example I explain to my mum and my brother what asexuality is, one said "it doesnt exist, every one have sexual atraction" the other one "they have a problem". I just laughed. Because I know what I feel, I know what I am, and they can't know that. Be strong, and whenever you feel sad and broken remember that there is a beautiful community that will support you 🖤💜 regards from Argentina 🤗 (I don't speak english very well sorry 😂)

[@chelseasmith2603]

@@franci4377 Thankyou it means alot 💜 Regards from Australia :)

[@otterlus]

Isaac Smith you’re 18 going on 19 right about now, but as of this year I’m in the same boat as this comment a year old. I’m almost 17 and I feel the same. My own parents can’t accept asexuality. I mentioned it in passing once. Just mentioning what it is. Not even coming out myself, and my dad immediately got mad and said, “so that’s what you’re doing in your room all the time? Messing with these names of things?” and a multitude of homophobic slurs. They’ve always been a strong believer of “kids don’t know what they like” but it’s simply not true. How does a boy know they’re into a girl as a boy? Well, it’s a given, right? Of course he likes girls. And they accept that. Ah, he’s a boy with his first crush. But turn it around and say that that boy likes another boy or grows up without any crushes at all, and it’s a matter of not having found the right person yet mor not yet understanding what they like. It’s fucking shit and I can never feel validated. One of these days I’m going to actually have a breakdown lmao. It’s so frustrating. I know what I feel. I know what I don’t feel. They don’t invalidate any other 16 year old that expresses attraction for the opposite gender, so why invalidate me?

[@MkKinnie]

Me: *comes out I’m Demisexual (it’s under the asexual umbrella so I think I count TwT)* My mom: *Oh DoN’t WoRrY yOu WiLl FiNd sOmEoNe SoMe DaY* Me: *smacks my face being like* really- you really gonna say that-

[@siradmin6791]

Yknow. I heard a very good response to that. "so have you ever had sex/ a romantic relationship with a cactus? No? Well one day you'll find the right cactus! Don't worry."

[@ma-klounkee]

I just came out today. I didn't full realize it about myself until today. I also told my girlfriend about it. And she is confused but a lot of things have clicked for her that didn't make sense in our relationship before. She seems okay with it now. Who knows about the future? Idk I feel a little less broken now. Thank you for sharing. I keep calling myself a freak

[@hiiloveu1521]

It took me some time to realize that I'm asexual aromatic. I've been familiar with the terms for quite some time, but then one moment I was just like "wait a minute, doesn't it sound A LOT like me??" And it did! And I was aroace! It's like my whole life became easier and clearer💜🖤💚

[@SamanthaAimee]

Some of the things you said were so beautifully put. Loved this!

[@DynaKor1]

Me coming out as hetero. My Parents: ok...

[@lisasalazar2099]

LOL

[@sunmarsh]

Eyes like whoa in this vid. Love the overalls!

[@Zack-eq3ou]

Your honesty really inspiring

[@J_to_the_F]

I sort of came out to my self yesturday. I´m pretty sure I´m ace aro in some way, but I can´t say in what way exactely. And Im looking forward to telling this to a guy I know who is one of the most positive, enpowering, fullhearted people I know. He is demisexual and onely through him I learned that there is something like asexuality. I´m so infinitely glad for this tiny bit of information he brought in my conscions because now so many loose ends in my life make sence.

[@laelaisasome]

When I came out to my birther she pretended it was okay them she walked downstairs to her friends and talked all kinda of shit about me being asexual and all of these random adults I didn't know were to. I only knew because she left my door open and I'm right above the living room and there's a vent connected

[@syedd.3619]

i found out my asexuality in a worse way. its just sad how i had a trauma (in sex in general) in order to figure my sexuality. i never thought of coming out but i already told my parents that i will never get married. but this video really help me to gain confidence to come out to my loved ones✨

[@syedd.3619]

@Who Am I ? hmu, syed hassan imai on facebook and gloomcataleya on instagram

[@abbyj2783]

I discovered I was Asexual about 5 years ago and still figuring where I am romantically, though currently in a healthy hetero relationship. 3 years ago I came out to my parents earlier than intended. They sort of understand it but its a subject they avoid. My mom still hopes I “grow out of it” even though I’m almost 23. It hurts to hear that and that they are so unwilling to take the time to fully understand how I feel. But in the end I don’t need their approval. My bf loves me the way I am and respects my boundaries, and thats what matters

[@ameera213]

this is so great, ily

[@instantregretrat4238]

My mom doesn’t think I’m ace because she thinks I’ll be lonely and that humans evolved by sexual feelings and I’m only recently realizing I’m ace and it’s good to know there are other people that embrace this fact.

[@maryyoung1602]

Quite a relief to get it off of your chest and quit trying to deny your true self; I know it was a relief for me 👍!

[@ollyjamescollins7399]

I’m only out to my friends and some random people at school as asexual panromantic but never to my family.

[@SDayle]

I'm asexual panromantic, too. :D Digital high five! ✋

[@ollyjamescollins7399]

Allen Sickle YAYY!!!! Digital high five!!!

[@oddly_ace2837]

Ayyyy!! Same my dude!

[@anastasyapavloskyp2239]

Hello my fellow pancake 🥞 😆

[@freakinfrogs3861]

I havent thought about it as coming out to yourself. But I really like that thought because I just came out to myself. Although it was a gradual things of me thinking yes I'm asexual, no I'm not, yes, no, yes, no, and finally yes!

[@sarah57920]

Thank you so much for this

[@melovesgarlicbread5817]

I think I would identify as asexual but I’ve never really felt broken, I just looked away (and still do (I’m 14)) when there is an intimate scene in a movie. When I read comments on asexual related post a lot of people say they felt broken until they figured there was a term for their feelings and since it’s such a common experienced feeling I’m wondering if I’m just different or if I’m not an an asexual if I’m disgusted by intimacy but don’t feel different in any other way...

[@shmoop6496]

Asexuality, or just LGBTQ+ in general, isn't about feeling broken. It is common to feel like the odd one out, but not everyone feels that way. Many are happy with who they are. And you don't need a label if you don't want to - labels don't always fit you perfectly. If you find something that sounds right and you want to identify as that, go ahead and identify! Labels can be helpful at times, they give you a word for things. But they can also be the opposite. If you think too hard and try to find a label that describes you exactly and perfectly, then you'll just stress yourself out. You only identify as asexual if YOU think it feels right. If you don't want to identify as ace, you don't have to. Labels are completely optional. I hope I could help!

[@melovesgarlicbread5817]

@@shmoop6496 Thanks for helping me! Ich think I understand labels and labelling much better now. I still have to think about identifying as ace as it is different experience for everyone and I’m pretty new to the ace community. I hope that this knowledge can help someone else as well!

[@brettschmidt5706]

Super late but fellow asexual college student and just thanks so much for your video :)

[@Homeyoutube488]

I am 22 and I came to know about asexuality few days ago. I don't know if it should be a separate sexuality or not, but for me it was normal that I never liked sex related things and I broke up a relation because I was not comfortable with sex and all, but I do like being romantic and I also would like to have my own baby one day although I don't like sex still I want to be a mother haha. I don't know if I am asexual or not and if being asexual or not, do I need to come out to everyone? Because for me it's like my choice my comfort my liking that I don't like sex just like someone might not like burger or pizza.

[@esmeraldag1098]

With coming out, I personally came to find out I'm ace about a week ago and only told the people closest to me. With everyone else, it depends. I think I'd only mention or come out when the topic of sex or sexuality pops up on it's own.

[@katieneal2212]

I'm asexual and am very scared about telling my parents, I'm pretty young and it was my friend that helped me figure out my sexuality, I had definitely noticed that most people had crushes, I did think that I had crushes but that was either close friends or people I wanted to be friends with. I'm really worried about what my parent's reaction will be. I don't think I'll be coming out until I can feel comfortable doing so.

[@factualmyth5861]

Did anyone else freak out @3:06 😅😂

[@oddly_ace2837]

When you're 16 and relate to this. I decided to mark Oct 11th, 2020 as the day I (hopefully) come out to my parents as Asexual and Panromantic. I hope my parents don't see me as broken, especially my mom. She says that if you don't have sx (i don't even like typing the word XD) in a relationship then it's not healthy. Only my best friend, sister, and brother know about it. My sister is actually very helpful with trying to get my parents to be cool or used to the idea of me possibly having a girlfriend/non-binary/tbh anything besides male partner. I have an ace ring, but i lied and told them that it's a best friend ring, and we chose the middle finger cus "we couldn't find any significant thing about wearing a ring on it" Let's see if I follow through on this- hopefully I'll edit this on Oct 11th. I'll cya future me, good luck, I hope you (or... I?) Didn't have a rough time coming out.

[@estherriley6879]

Good luck!!

[@SargentZombieHunter0]

Yo! What’s being in uni like for you?! Love ya as everr

[@marim509]

I love this I was sorta the same for me and I looked it up on KZbin and the first video basically said that if you looked it up you probably are and then explained it and I was like huh cool this is me and dang what do I do. So I told one of my friends that and she has since been trying to figure out my romantic attraction which I don’t even know, but I think I am Demi which is pretty cool and stuff but like yah now my best friend knows and it is great because we make jokes when one of them asks if someone is hot and it’s like I’m not the one to ask and it’s fun but yah. Love you!! ❤️😍

[@coocooformycocoapuffs3235]

I dont think people will care when i come out i think theyll just say ok whatever and think why did she even say that so yeah i dont feel like coming out ever...ok a little bit...OK A LOT BUT I DONT WANT TO BE REJECTED OR SOMETHING

[@immersingrosepetals9958]

Hi, My best friend and I both came out to eachother. Turns out we're both Asexual. I was afraid at first but once I herd them out I was relieved 😌. No wonder we are so compatible as BFF's. Anyway, that was my first step. I don't know about my parents. They have thier mind set on my future being with grandchildren. Honestly, I can't think that far. My question is do Asexuals still have children?

[@uvuerikaa]

I was queer for a very long time I think it was around 2017?? and I started to question my sexuality after that. The term "asexual" was brought up in class back (before covid happened) and I was interested because the teacher was discussing the LGBTQ+ community and I really thought asexual was the lack of any attractions and I thought that the only definition. But then out of curiosity, I searched the meaning of Asexual then I saw there was a spectrum then I didn't think of it that much at that time. But recently I have been thinking about my sexuality again and I come out to myself and I knew that this is who am. So, I recently only come out with my friends but not my fam yet... I feel afraid if I did they probably won't accept me. I mean I do get crushes but I don't see them as other girls would cause I don't feel like I get turn on when there's a guy shirtless I mean they look hot but I just don't feel that way until I get to know them well... (Demisexual and Heteromantic) I'm only 18 and I never have sex yet so idk but I feel uncomfortable just imagining people doing it.

[@dubbie7879]

I came out to my dad not long ago and it felt AWESOME

[@biancawiseowl]

🖤💜

[@tommyboi1942]

Amazing 💜

[@JohnAnthonySavino]

Lovee💚💚

[@goddamneditall]

Hi! I’m questioning (the questioning sexuality thing)! Comment what you think sexuality I’ll be! I honestly think I’m asexual.. which sucks but just comment what you think on gonna be..!

[@glosajonsdottir9708]

I just came out to my mom and she laughed....... I’m sad 😢

[@aaronkellyuk]

I came out after making a facebook group chat so I wouldn't have to face them.

[@natedrake2366]

Babe your froze at 3:05 to 3:12 that is seven seconds of unedited information lost to me. Also I am asexual and this is awesome and I am gay too love you Babe

[@joarcokru]

I doubt any parent would really be that worried if a teenage daughter or son came to them saying they didn't like sex very much. Most long married couples would say "That's ok. Your father and I don't have that much sex as well"

[@EarlOfMaladyCrescent]

🤣 Good one!

[@hyunji1753]

I don't know if I ever will come out to them

[@nathanbernards]

As someone who doesn't fully grok the topic, I feel we aught to at least reserve a seat at the table should this community decide there is value in participating in the lgbtq+ community, am I wrong? :/

[@chifuyu8683]

Nobody takes me seriously...

[@gotchanya4128]

can i be asexual pangender lesbain if so thats me lol

[@utardaheidinn9048]

Yes, you can!

[@punkkumies1283]

do you stay single?

[@ugandaguy4363]

ace is ruined forever

[@time4jam6]

To be honest.. coming out as an ace is just dumb. You have no reason to even come out as an ace. Its not going to change anything, and it might just confuse ur parents.

[@Embly99]

you could apply that to anything. i came out because i felt like i was hiding a huge part of who i am, doesn’t matter what it is or isn’t going to change, and i shouldn’t not ✨be me✨ in case i confuse other people.

[@somersks7221]

Must be a such a lonely life... not marrying, not having kids.. wouldn't wanna be you

[@ollyjamescollins7399]

no it wouldn’t

[@SargentZombieHunter0]

This comment is littered with passive aggression. What purpose did this have?

[@tommyboi1942]

being asexual doesn't mean you can't do those things

[@sunmarsh]

Trot along troll. We love you Embly.

[@SDayle]

Being asexual is not the same as being aromantic. Nice try. Too bad you have no idea what you're talking about.

[@Shakattackk]

💜🖤