coming out to my asian parents

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Ivan Lam

Ivan Lam

Күн бұрын

Hey everyone, if you are reading this you are in a safe space. I just had a lot of feelings I wanted to share because APAHM and Pride month ended. I'm super grateful for you guys and all the love you've shown me... I got many more dms about coming out and you guys telling me that you've come out, or is considering coming out.
I dont think there's any wrong or right way to do it, and there isn't any right or wrong reaction to it... I hope that when you do feel ready that you are embraced with love by your family, and if not, your friends (which is also my family btw)
To anyone that's going through this, i'm so proud of you! You really are so strong and so beautiful. I'm so sorry if no one has ever told you so, just know that I know you are! Every single one of you.
I've been so thankful and grateful to have such supportive people around me, friends, family, watchers, and even brands! However sometimes the weight of the world can be quite draining haha. Sometimes we just dont have the energy to always be explaining our existence. Thats why it's nice to have allies to uplift us.
I hope you took something away from this! And I encourage you to step in and speak up about your experience, whether you are queer, family or friend, or an ally. I would really love to hear your story! Thank you so much for letting me share mine!
some resources
www.glbthotlin...
www.thetrevorp...
(if you have more please comment and share)
My instagram
www.instagram....
some great acc to folllow
www.instagram....
www.instagram....
not sponsored but holla at me brands l0l

Пікірлер: 983
@heyitsfeiii
@heyitsfeiii 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan I love you so much
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
I love u!! Miss u Fei!!
@hurleylee5754
@hurleylee5754 5 жыл бұрын
Feiiiiiiiiiii
@Divvydenzil2234
@Divvydenzil2234 5 жыл бұрын
Omg feiii I love u and Ivan I love u too
@angelbarajas9180
@angelbarajas9180 5 жыл бұрын
@@IvanLamLJ I think we ALL love feii
@bts.potatorsp8532
@bts.potatorsp8532 5 жыл бұрын
Oh dear aejfsjdfl, fei i love you!
@unachicasinvida.3640
@unachicasinvida.3640 4 жыл бұрын
Eres muy fuerte sabés? muchos prefieren suicidarse, antes que decir que soy Gay pero lo mas impresionante es que enfrenten problemas y sé acepten asi mismos como tal. Yo apoyó a todo el mundo no importa su orientación sexual por qué al fin y al cabo todos somos humanos. Té felicitó saludos y cuídate mucho soy H-ARMY 🇭🇳
@rhapsodyandtea5249
@rhapsodyandtea5249 5 жыл бұрын
You always have such important things to say and I'm so thankful to you that you share your stories and show your feelings. Keep doing all the good you're doing, we will keep supporting you! 💖💖💖
@Richard-zm6pt
@Richard-zm6pt 5 жыл бұрын
Very sweet and very strong at the same time, thoughtful and generous. It's nice to meet you...
@lunae12
@lunae12 5 жыл бұрын
You really resembles Song Seung Heon a lot, more like a cute boi version ♥️♥️ Love you Ivan 😙
@lawstintranslation
@lawstintranslation 5 жыл бұрын
we love you so much no matter what 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@alvahfjeldstad
@alvahfjeldstad 4 жыл бұрын
My mom and dad started to encourage me when I was like 5 or something! They said something like “ when you take home a guy” I said “ew” then they responded with “ or maybe you come with a girl sometime” my five year old mind was like: what. 😳I love my parents, I think they know already. I’m bisexual I think, they even took me to pride it was fun! My parents are accepting and lovely. I wish everyone’s parents like that :(
@leticiasantiago9970
@leticiasantiago9970 4 жыл бұрын
IVAN ES UNA ADORABLE Y LUCHADORA PERSONA.SERA UN DIA UN EXCELENTISIMO PADRE Y SEGUIRA SIENDO UNA PRODUCTIVA PERSONA.SOY SU TIA FAN DE 🇵🇷 Y ME ENORGULLESE MUCHO VER A JOVENES COMO EL VIVIENDO EL DIA A DIA LO MAS POSITIVO POSIBLE.IVANSITO MUCHA SALUD Y BENDICIONES PARA TI.😉🍀💖👣🌺
@prsn-gq1ms
@prsn-gq1ms 5 жыл бұрын
I really just feel that Ivan would be an exceptional father. No matter the sexual orientation, you can still pass values to your kids:)
@taetm8868
@taetm8868 4 жыл бұрын
That quote doesnt mean shit if you in a traditional family
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
I hope this video makes you feel less alone, I want you to know that you’re loved and you’re so brave. Thank u for being you!!! I don’t wanna be cheesy lollllll but ya just know, ❤️❤️❤️ Ivan loves u!!!!!! Also I wanted to add that I love my mom and dad more than ever, and so thankful for my family and you guys!!!!
@LS-wg5kd
@LS-wg5kd 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan Lam The world is becoming a better and safer place because of people like you (and you as well! Thank you!). ❤️
@bratsleazy1493
@bratsleazy1493 5 жыл бұрын
Love you
@wynn6938
@wynn6938 5 жыл бұрын
We love you too!! We have you and you have us!! 😄
@jayecurry2049
@jayecurry2049 5 жыл бұрын
I love you Ivan 💕 thanks for sharing your story☺️
@muhdamir7346
@muhdamir7346 5 жыл бұрын
We love you no matter what and congrast for coming out :-)
@STAYkindskz
@STAYkindskz 5 жыл бұрын
I hope one day there will be no more "coming out stories". I never want my son to come out to me.... because it will hopefully be so normalized that you don't have to "come out". I'd rather he introduce me to whomever he's dating regardless of their gender because he feels comfortable in the knowledge that it'd change absolutely nothing in our dynamic.
@irenesurratt3441
@irenesurratt3441 5 жыл бұрын
My wish is for every parent to feel that way it would be wonderful. If you have raised your child to be the best person they can be and loved them unconditionally why would that have to change because of who they love
@theskeptic777
@theskeptic777 4 жыл бұрын
I doubt its gonna happen anytime soon but here's hoping
@instasingingvids3529
@instasingingvids3529 4 жыл бұрын
STAYkind I hope so too but I don’t see that happening for at least one hundred years
@A88-p5e
@A88-p5e 5 жыл бұрын
Omg it's so true that Asian families seriously live by "ignorance is bliss". A family member did something bad? Married an undesirable person? Sorry, they don't exist anymore. Someone has an illness? Nope, they don't sorry they're perfectly healthy, sickness would never touch this family. Someone decided to follow a career path that doesn't involve studying at university? No, they're going to university of course. It's just a totally different way of dealing with things which is annoying sometimes to deal with but I also understand is a coping mechanism. Small cultural difference like that really make a difference to family relationships
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Lolol so true but that’s why we need to change it!
@Kt-cn2rq
@Kt-cn2rq 5 жыл бұрын
Omg.. that's nuts. I think when it's same race married they kinda do that type of thinking. I noticed most people that marry not of same race are more accepting and more open minded.
@ubergamer2010
@ubergamer2010 5 жыл бұрын
People that insist on marrying the same race usually end up staying conservative and keep their traditions/values from their childhood. I'm thankful to be mixed because my parents did often have differing views that led to some good conversations on how to improve.
@honeyandclay
@honeyandclay 5 жыл бұрын
My family is HUGE both in size and reputation. Almost everyone in our hometown knows our family name especially since my GGGreat grandfather found the town. Since my family is so big you basically meet a new family member every get-together or reunion. I found out around a year ago that they are roughly 12 family members that no one in my family speaks of because they either were involved in some crime whether they committed it or not or abusing their family(kids or wife). It’s kind of sad if I think too much
@MutantAireo
@MutantAireo 5 жыл бұрын
Gowon Gang what you saying is true
@lauravampire1276
@lauravampire1276 5 жыл бұрын
“You know how Asian parents are, they don’t flinch, at all. They just: 😶” I’m not even Asian (I’m Hispanic) but I GET it, I GOT that 😂
@lavanda2638
@lavanda2638 4 жыл бұрын
Holaaaaa
@gazellee7257
@gazellee7257 5 жыл бұрын
Omg Ivan I haven’t even started the video but I’m so proud of you I love you and will continue to support you angel!!
@asia1010
@asia1010 5 жыл бұрын
LMAOO I was dead when you were coming out as Asian. 💀 But Ivan I’m so happy for you & thank you. 💕
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
I want the world to know I’m azn
@gr3yfaerie
@gr3yfaerie 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan Lam Wowie
@joi5504
@joi5504 5 жыл бұрын
You seemed confused about where you were from 😂 I love this personal get ready with me!! Excited for more content~
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Existential crisis
@binscons8251
@binscons8251 5 жыл бұрын
I'm gay, Asian, it's hard as Asian to be gay, and is also a Muslim, and.. im from indonesia, i live in jakarta. it makes me more hard to come out to my parents that I'm gay. but I hope soon I'm going to say ''MOM... DAD... I'm gay, I'm proud, this is me..." all I believe is that you are who you are, and you must love that person, you. And now i fully love myself for being me
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
💗🌈🥺
@yaeto5477
@yaeto5477 5 жыл бұрын
Bins Cons good luck to you! You’ll get through this!!
@chaelisa
@chaelisa 5 жыл бұрын
Pls be save
@nebrajayadi8904
@nebrajayadi8904 5 жыл бұрын
Be strong.. Bismillah kamu ga sendiri..😊
@shreeabraham
@shreeabraham 5 жыл бұрын
Best of luck👍 but it's hard to do. it is same to me also
@veronicaguadalupe9684
@veronicaguadalupe9684 5 жыл бұрын
Asian families and latinx families seem to have a lot of the same values! My parents have the same ideas of adoption and carrying the name and also the entire pushing under the rug thing, etc! I empathize with your struggles and I appreciate you!
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Ya haha !! So similar
@sweetcorn8343
@sweetcorn8343 5 жыл бұрын
We are technically Asians.
@JennMatsuoka
@JennMatsuoka 5 жыл бұрын
Yep...Latinos and Asians have a lot of similarities in those aspects.
@peachy-1511
@peachy-1511 5 жыл бұрын
African families are also similar to Asian and Latinx families with their core values from what I have experienced
@celumbral9334
@celumbral9334 5 жыл бұрын
veronica guadalupe i tried to come out as bi to my mom, but she just acted like it never happened. don't know what's gonna happen when i inevitably have to come out as trans, she can't just ignore me for the rest of my life (hopefully).
@chelseahui3902
@chelseahui3902 5 жыл бұрын
I loved this so much, Ivan. You are living proof that authentic representation and visibility is IMPORTANT. Just by simply posting a photo, or uploading a video sharing your story, there are so many people who feel more seen and less alone. Myself included. As Pride month comes to a close, I'm feeling even more empowered to be myself, support others within our community, and keep pride going. LOVE YOU KING! Thank you for sharing ❤️💛💚💙💜
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Thank u so much Chelsea!
@rexeleyrarama.tsatsavinci_rrtv
@rexeleyrarama.tsatsavinci_rrtv 5 жыл бұрын
Many Malaysian make-up artist looking up to you and... I hope this inspired them to not live in closet anymore
@omfgellysha
@omfgellysha 5 жыл бұрын
this hit home. i’m living in malaysia my brother is part of the LGBTQ community and i’ve witnessed and heard about how much he has had to go through and endure being queer in this country. it really isnt easy. thank you for sharing 💕
@Aexxan
@Aexxan 5 жыл бұрын
Tell your brother to stay strong, he has a supporter here even if I don’t him✨
@omfgellysha
@omfgellysha 5 жыл бұрын
@@Aexxan thank you so much for this, i'll definitely let him know :) 💖
@mysticalblossom9403
@mysticalblossom9403 5 жыл бұрын
I’m bi and Chinese... this is how I came out Me: knock, knock Family: who’s their? Me: I like Family: I like who??? Me: I like boys and girls is that fine with you??? My family:.............................
@王棣棣-g7o
@王棣棣-g7o 4 жыл бұрын
How old R U. ^^ hi guy
@francescoscarpato3293
@francescoscarpato3293 4 жыл бұрын
Are u okay now? I hope yes.
@LemonBro
@LemonBro 5 жыл бұрын
I know it can sound weird but you gave me the strength to come out one year ago and I’m so thankful for it 🥺. As an Asian gay boy I had literally no one to take as a model or follow and then I discovered you, at that time you had only 5000 followers. You taught me how to love myself with makeup and that being gay is something you shouldn’t be ashamed of. Thank you so so much for everything and keep going I’m also so proud of how your community has grown😭💗
@rex-4399
@rex-4399 5 жыл бұрын
This video is like please sit down, drink a cup of tea and listen to me for 213802 hours and you will not get bored.
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Haha yes grab a cup of tea!
@HanaLee93
@HanaLee93 5 жыл бұрын
LOLOLOL "obviously i'm asian" part AHH hahahahaha but really I miss you and luv u v much
@notenoughtreble
@notenoughtreble 5 жыл бұрын
Mean Girls was my first exposure to the concept of Gay and Queer individuals too! As a VERY SHELTERED and Religious Homeschooler, I had no clue anyone could be anything but straight ...or a nun. 😂 Mean Girls still holds a special spot in my heart because of the things it taught me. I’ve even got tickets for Mean Girls the Musical next month!! 🙌🙌 Thank you for sharing Ivan. ♥️
@kurtlim7
@kurtlim7 5 жыл бұрын
He looks sooo Korean to me. I'm still kinda shocked he's Malaysian
@yutasnessa9003
@yutasnessa9003 5 жыл бұрын
No matter who or what you love We will always support you 💞
@MinMin-xq7uu
@MinMin-xq7uu 5 жыл бұрын
I SUPPORT. I Stan for you! Beautiful creature! I’ll also be coming out to my Asian parents soon as well, wish me luck, I’m scared
@mellovmoon
@mellovmoon 5 жыл бұрын
Good luck!💖 I hope everything goes well :)
@MinMin-xq7uu
@MinMin-xq7uu 5 жыл бұрын
Vika thank you so much!!
@wannaoneforever3696
@wannaoneforever3696 5 жыл бұрын
How bad could it be.. 😯😯 Im confused
@MinMin-xq7uu
@MinMin-xq7uu 5 жыл бұрын
Wanna One Forever well I don’t really want to be disowned by my own family since they are very strict Korean parents with very high expectations and they want grandchildren. I already failed them by not wanting to choose a career of their liking and well it’s extremely difficult for me
@wannaoneforever3696
@wannaoneforever3696 5 жыл бұрын
@@MinMin-xq7uu oh my you've got to be brave for this one cause u know, being happy is the most important things in life but sacrificing your happiness for your parents maybe worth it.. I guess.
@itsmejayko9366
@itsmejayko9366 5 жыл бұрын
Hi ivan im one of your follower...your content is great im also a bisexual.. I've been out and i showed my true colors..iloveyou and goodluck 🌈🌈🌈💙💙💙
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Love u!!
@PuppysReading
@PuppysReading 5 жыл бұрын
It’s 5am and I read that as “coming out as Asian to my parents” and was very confused.
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Ahhahahah
@koo-core7274
@koo-core7274 5 жыл бұрын
i was forced to come out and it’s the worst thing ever. I can’t even properly explain how happy i am that you had the courage to do this. I really didn’t, and i still don’t. I hope to be as brave as you one day💕
@madlyna3620
@madlyna3620 5 жыл бұрын
Your parents forced you to come out ??
@koo-core7274
@koo-core7274 5 жыл бұрын
Moon light yeah they basically went through my stuff and left me with no other choice...
@madlyna3620
@madlyna3620 5 жыл бұрын
@@koo-core7274 This is not OK . they should give you some time and not forced you !! I hope you are happy in your life
@obolvex
@obolvex 5 жыл бұрын
i love you so much ❤️ seeing you cry or somewhat upset in any way breaks my heart :( you’re such a beautiful person and i’m so happy you could share all of this thank you for being so strong and being such an icon to the community, you remind us that not every lgbt person experiences the same thing but we’re all united thank you for being you :’)
@crazydjrock1
@crazydjrock1 5 жыл бұрын
Hey, I have been following you quite some time and I could relate your story as a Malaysian gay man. I came out to my parents 3 years ago and it was a very vulnerable period at that time. It took time with my parents to understand though initially there was a lot of crying and begging me to change (Glad that did not happen and I still live with them till this day). I think the part where your mum indirectly regards to your overall safety, it is something deep down I could relate it so well because my mum keeps telling me not to be out to my friends and other people that I trust which I told them I am out and they are ok with it haha. My parents only want me to live a normal and happy life so I think this applies to what your mum wants as well. Thank you for the video! Love you and will continue to support you!
@tessjpg
@tessjpg 5 жыл бұрын
ivaaaan
@lilpsyche6971
@lilpsyche6971 5 жыл бұрын
~Swipes notification before realizing title~ Wait a sweet succulent second.
@RR-gn1xh
@RR-gn1xh 5 жыл бұрын
I know alot of Muslims are homophobic and stuff like some of them grew up with the fact that girls and boys can only be together no other than that some of them yeah do attack. What am trying to say is they aren't suppose to do that yeah in our religion we aren't suppose to support them at all but we can respect them or like someone is picking on them we can help cuz our religion is peaceful. Am not trying to show off as a religionists or something. And good you faced your self cuz Lying to urself will just cause depression
@immr3332
@immr3332 5 жыл бұрын
You’re so inspirational I love you so much for how brave and cool you are
@bridgettedani6516
@bridgettedani6516 5 жыл бұрын
I'm Malaysian and I know it's hard, this makes me so teary. Much love to you Ivan.
@cantabileloves
@cantabileloves 5 жыл бұрын
Can't stop staring at your face. You're so beautiful.
@BJKage
@BJKage 4 жыл бұрын
Since I was 3 I was trying to make everyone to call me by boy name and only my grandmother did, few friend even in my puberty. I never officially came out, but those who knows first question was, so you would date girls? No, it´s more complicated than that, I would not I´d date male. So how should I call myself else than lonely?
@blatzy9580
@blatzy9580 5 жыл бұрын
it’s definitely hard to come out to your parents when you’re not ready.. i was 13 when i was forced(due to a situation)to tell my mom about my sexuality and i wasn’t ready and i remember being so scared that i didn’t wanted to come out of my room but some days passed and my parent came up to me and we sat down and talked it through.. she was okay with it and accepted me and it was the most amazing feeling. I felt really good about myself and im currently 16 and yes, there are sometimes where im shy to talk about my sexuality because i sometimes don’t want to explain or i just don’t feel safe talking about it for some reason, but i don’t deny my sexuality and i think it’s good to sometimes risk yourself and be open.. i found amazing friends because of it ^~^ great video! don’t listen to negativity and live your best life ily :,))
@yoongicowboy6780
@yoongicowboy6780 5 жыл бұрын
We love and support you so much Ivan, thank you for being such an inspiration for beauty both inside and out💜💜
@curlyhairt8755
@curlyhairt8755 5 жыл бұрын
Yasss I clicked so fast good for u im bi (im a girl) and I came out to my parents I was so nervous and they support me welcome to the rainbow babie 💛💙💜💚❤💓💕💖
@JeffMende
@JeffMende 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan, you are an amazing man....your story is poigtant, and moving.....Glad your mother apologized the next day.....fyi....you are a super makeup guy.....ira
@vinoin9254
@vinoin9254 5 жыл бұрын
IVAN I FREAKING LOVE YOU also just know that we love you and support you 💜and thank you for speaking out 💜
@eduardvcrchoi
@eduardvcrchoi 5 жыл бұрын
Que hermosa historia que bien que de alguna forma tus padres hayan entendido tu preferencia Saludos desde México
@katarinataylor4100
@katarinataylor4100 5 жыл бұрын
This video made me sad because I'm bi. But my family is christian and korean so im scared and if I got kicked out I would have no place to go. I hope someday 😫
@Idk-lv7hw
@Idk-lv7hw 5 жыл бұрын
Just a NCTzen My family is Christian too, but Kazakh, Chinese, and Uighur. I’m also currently living in a homophobic country so I understand how you feel. It’s terrifying
@sagacity7786
@sagacity7786 5 жыл бұрын
박지민 I hope things go well for both of you. Stay strong!! 👍🏻
@katarinataylor4100
@katarinataylor4100 5 жыл бұрын
@@sagacity7786 thank you!! ❤
@9thyrestasmr739
@9thyrestasmr739 5 жыл бұрын
Pls coming out after you are independently able to live alone and have own financial support. Stay strong! 💞
@rusdierahim
@rusdierahim 5 жыл бұрын
Just remember we queer people in Malaysia look up to you right now. you representing us. thank you for being so brave to tell us your stories 💖🌈✨ we love you Ivan.
@madgurl5951
@madgurl5951 4 жыл бұрын
@Papyrus Okagbue stop scaring people like that. They become weak because ppl like you put negativity in their mind. I live in Malaysia and most people don't even bother if their friend is LGBT. And you think Islamist in Malaysia so rajin to track ppl down meh..
@madgurl5951
@madgurl5951 4 жыл бұрын
@Papyrus Okagbue 1st you need to understand the case. He was jailed because the other party said he don't give consent to have sex with him and also for political reason too.. you won't get shot to death or put in jail for being gay in Malaysia.
@madgurl5951
@madgurl5951 4 жыл бұрын
@Papyrus Okagbue do u even live in Malaysia?
@jadeschmidt2891
@jadeschmidt2891 5 жыл бұрын
Awww, I am sorry that things were a bit hard for you back then but I am glad that thing are going well with you now!! Also please never forget that I along with many other people looking love you so, so, so, so much!!!
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Love u 💗💗💗
@bojongkia123
@bojongkia123 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan, “add oil” (a Chinese way of saying go for it)! Hope to see more Malaysians coming out! 🙌
@sadboi372
@sadboi372 5 жыл бұрын
Omg his voice cracking, I started crying Love you so much you're so brave
@CraziiBOY504
@CraziiBOY504 5 жыл бұрын
Love how he was crying and then doing his make-up just casual. This is too iconic. Thanks for making this video, very relatable.
@pakdeetipsukontorn3615
@pakdeetipsukontorn3615 4 жыл бұрын
i can relate to him when he said the whole situation of coming out was so blurry and happened so quickly. though i never actually came out to my parents, it's just that they knew it in their heart but refused to say it out loud. Personally, i think every parent just want the best for their child and once they inherited an offspring, they just expect him/her to continue this tradition, which is completely unreasonable. I'm asian and my parents, in fact, are those described parents and it kinda disappointed at first to know that i'm identified as gay. However, it got better as the time went by, though it was extremely difficult for me at first to live my own life. I had to do make up at my friends' house and talked about guys with my sister without allowing my parents to hear about this. I was at some point depressed and thought about taking my own life several times because i never felt like I was at home even when I was in my own room sleeping in my own bed. At some point of their life, they found out about all of my secrets and yeah, they called me to talk about it. It was actually my mom who came up to me first and said that she would talk to my dad, which she did in secret. Tbh, I never felt comfortable talking about this with my dad, since he is a strict one but it turns out he is more accepting than i thought. He took me out to buy skincare products, go shopping with me, take me to concert, drop me at the club. In fact, he is doing the father job better than ever and somehow we got closer. So, what I'm saying is that things take time and it's impossible for any parents to take it all in at once the fact that their offsprings are gay. Patience is a key in coming out but some parents can take longer than other to absorb all the reality. The life will be yours one day and every child needs their parents to go through that phase with them, so they can overcome whatever the society is throwing at them.
@harryzenith
@harryzenith 5 жыл бұрын
We love your honesty and how much you are trying to live your life in the most positive way possible while healing your soul and bringing joy to all your friends and fans. We are here for the long ride Ivan! 💜❤️
@yanyanli2165
@yanyanli2165 5 жыл бұрын
omg i love seeing u on youtubeeee,, i feel like there arent enough malaysian chinese in the media :(( but we exist
@iskandarshah5813
@iskandarshah5813 5 жыл бұрын
I just want to hug him so hard the moment he teared up 😢 ,
@queenzakiya91
@queenzakiya91 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan when I watch you, I feel like there’s so much genuine emotion in every word you say. I hope you can live a happy and proud life no matter what you face in the coming years x
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you ! I hope everyone can too?
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
✨!*
@agussalim2304
@agussalim2304 3 жыл бұрын
Jangan sedih ya. Don't be sad Ivan. I am here by your side. We are never walk alone. Cheer up Ivan. Semangat. Keep smiling and always be grateful of what God given to us about sexuality or everything. Remember, God knows what inside our heart. Be strong and be patient. Also enjoy your life😇. Greetings of Me from Indonesia.
@deadjunji4015
@deadjunji4015 5 жыл бұрын
I'm so incredibly proud of you Ivan 💕 So happy to see how far you've come
@cupofmilk5901
@cupofmilk5901 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan i love you so much, and i'm so proud of you, i actually cried when i saw your tears, i can't stand seeing the person who brings joy to my heart being hurt and sad, i wish u all the best in ur life and happiness💜
@nickholic5696
@nickholic5696 5 жыл бұрын
I went to jakarta to go to college until my parents found out that im different, and force me to move back to my parent hometown and yeah that's basically what happened me, well i miss all of my friends there. but there is nothing i could do, so yeah that's basically my life now, just tryna lived with it for now
@Kt-cn2rq
@Kt-cn2rq 5 жыл бұрын
Oh that's not good hiding doesn't really help I think you were find.
@michaelvolpe1394
@michaelvolpe1394 4 жыл бұрын
Ivan, you are remarkable and very cute! I date Asian men, and it's so hard to hear that gay Asian men have it so difficult with thier community and family's. I'm so deeply sorry, but your a great guy for doing this, so other gay men could get guidance from your experiences. Keep being you Ivan, your so kind and very cute! ♥️
@highwaytoten802
@highwaytoten802 5 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say your gorgeous, I love you 😌 and I’m from Puerto Rico tooo!
@johnwaynemengote7986
@johnwaynemengote7986 4 жыл бұрын
I really understand you. I'm Gay and I'm only 19 from Philippines. I have a lot of Friends facing situation like u. I just wanna know that we love and appreciate u. I'm just lucky that my parents are so understandable about my sexuality but sometimes they always said to me the same as you that they worried about what people say to me and possibly hurt me. But having an Asian Parents are the best thing in a world ❤
@romeotimothy5742
@romeotimothy5742 5 жыл бұрын
Don't forget that you have our love and support in every thing you do. To everyone on this planet I just wanna say uf you guys feel down, remember that I love you guys though you guys don't know me❤❤❤
@gregp9350
@gregp9350 5 жыл бұрын
I can see this is very emotional for you. It is good to know your family is supportive . Ivan keep being who you are ! I hope you have success in what you decide to do in life . You seem like a decent person . Obviously you are a handsome man as well . In time maybe society will loosen up in Asian areas to be more accepting of this lifestyle . These are just my opinions . I like LGBTQ Asians . I am not Asian , so many of the problems you have faced , I have not . But I have been subjected to some issues too. Peace and good luck .
@jasontsimnujyang5186
@jasontsimnujyang5186 5 жыл бұрын
Omg I totally get the "parents not flinching" cuz I came out to my parents just this last Monday and they didn't even have a reaction to it. Longest pause of my life!!
@leonleon2092
@leonleon2092 4 жыл бұрын
U are from Malaysia?!😍 u are so brave🌈 small support from Malaysia....thanks for the voice.😊
@sayahudecjackson
@sayahudecjackson 5 жыл бұрын
omg! It broke my heart when your voice started to crack 😭😭 I’m glad they tried to understand and as you said took them time but at the end they do love you endlessly. In my case is differently, recently I finally found out that I’m bisexual, I never liked a girl before, all my girl friends have been just that friends that I even considered as sisters and nothing more. My relationships with men have been good and all..but then this great person shows in the picture and makes everything seem so beautiful and perfect that anything else can hurt you, you know? I fell deeply in love with her and even found myself shocked, like “oh God! What am I gonna do now? I like a girl, wtf!” I was worried my mother and older brother would not be happy with the idea, my girl was ok with the fact they won’t know because she knew them too and it didn’t bothered her at all, she always said it was for my own mental health.. By knowing them and all the things I’ve been through with them that have been horrible made me think a lot, I jumped to the conclusion that we’d keep it a secret, so we did. We’re not together anymore but we see and talk to each other always. I had this other gf at 2014 we lasted almost four years.. she was ok with it too.. being with her kind of made rethink things and want them to know but one day they both made such disgusting comment about someone like me that it broke my heart and definitely decided that I’m too old for their approval, I don’t need it, don’t get me wrong; it would be great to be who you really are but I think some circumstances are just so unpredictable and hurtful that it’s better to keep it that way. I even think that maybe in a near future we won’t be able to talk to each other at all 🤷🏻‍♀️ three weeks ago we had an argument about those topics of never being there when they were needed, how I cried for help too many times, they don’t even know that once when I was a child my hair stylist tried to abuse me, they don’t even imagine how a guy I dated in 2010 did. They don’t know how I dealt with severe bullying and alcoholism at high school for about three years and how many times those people tried to kill me by just hitting me until I couldn’t move; honestly all that made me consider myself kind of lucky of keeping that side of me to myself and my friends who have been so supportive always, I don’t need anything else really. Honestly, seeing others happy fills my heart with so much joy that it doesn’t matter at all if I don’t have it myself.
@sincerelyalina
@sincerelyalina 5 жыл бұрын
To this day I still don't understand why it's such a big thing that people who are gay or lesbian "have to" come out. I mean, I'm not offending anyone but either everyone has to feel the pressure to do so or noone... :) not offending anyone but in my opinion this way even more people feel like it's "not normal"....
@nethmisen8629
@nethmisen8629 5 жыл бұрын
you're one of my biggest inspirations ivan
@richardtan1003
@richardtan1003 5 жыл бұрын
Love ya 🙋🏻‍♂️❤️
@karamuenster
@karamuenster 5 жыл бұрын
😙 Thanx for sharing Dear Ivan. Lots of 💖Love to your Fam too!!
@aryansarin2387
@aryansarin2387 4 жыл бұрын
I can relate I have homophobic parents and I am deep in the closet cause I know if I come out they will kick me out and it makes me feel worse that even by the thought of gay people make them angry and they aren't even religious
@lincaterina9780
@lincaterina9780 5 жыл бұрын
You and Yoandri are beautiful together.❤️
@shreeabraham
@shreeabraham 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah I can understand it. I am also gay and Asian but I am afraid to coming out because my parents are very strict and our society is very conservative. Till now non of my friends and relatives knows about it. Well this vedio gives inspiration to world. Thumbs up to the vedio
@jaeyrl
@jaeyrl 5 жыл бұрын
“Our family comes to us in times of need, and that’s when you who your family is” that is so true. Family doesn’t just mean your relatives. It’s the people who support you and love you for you. SIDE NOTE: You are loved. I know you sometimes won’t feel it, but you are. Be proud of yourself. I know it’s not the easiest thing, but you will find your own way to do so. ♥️♥️♥️
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this!!!
@jaeyrl
@jaeyrl 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan Lam no problem!! You’re amazing ♥️☺️
@moonlight_antonio
@moonlight_antonio 5 жыл бұрын
I think it’s just sad that parents kick there children out just because their gay. Thank you for saying this Ivan. You are one of the sweetest and most amazing people on the 🌎 as well as a lot of people in LGBT community that I’ve met. There are those that are like ''I’m LGBT so treat me special'' but not all of them are like that. I love you Ivan and I support you you have no idea. You made me cry lol. Anyway I love you ❤️
@trinitynichole8613
@trinitynichole8613 5 жыл бұрын
love you, thank you for having the courage to tell your story
@megaphoenix2001
@megaphoenix2001 4 жыл бұрын
ivan is amazing looking. just from this video u seem like a really nice guy asian guys r the best my bf(ex) left me cause he was too scared to come out to his family and they were getting at him for not having a gf so guess hed rather have a fake life to please his parents than have stayed with me and make himself happy
@molten4406
@molten4406 5 жыл бұрын
Please do a traveling skincare routine. Like to Get This to the Top
@NguyenTrang-mm2ys
@NguyenTrang-mm2ys 5 жыл бұрын
Omg you’re Malaysian. I always thought you’re Vietnamese. Btw i love you so much you dont even know. I wait for your videos like almost every week. Pls be strong
@sofiamarijoaquin9872
@sofiamarijoaquin9872 5 жыл бұрын
Wow I am so proud of you and you inspire me to be the best person I can be everyday!!
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 5 жыл бұрын
Thank u!! You inspire me!!
@sofiamarijoaquin9872
@sofiamarijoaquin9872 5 жыл бұрын
Ivan Lam gasp thank you ^•^
@gwenethp511
@gwenethp511 5 жыл бұрын
All my Korean family fight 24/7 then immidiately "forget" it. It's weird how Asians can just forget bad things. Like my dad would yell at me and scream and then 5 seconds later it's "I love you!" like nothing happened, even though I would cry and want to run away because of how harsh he was. But like, I would feel as if I imagined the whole thing. Oops. Tbh I don't even really view him as a father, more of an authority figure. Like a stoic military commander who I respect workwise lol. But I respect you a lot. I don't think I'll ever come out to my dad, even though the US is pretty accepting. I mean, being mixed Korean and looking 90% white (some people can tell I have some Asian genes, but I mainly take after my mom) already outcasts me from the Korean family. Being queer and wanting to date a girl will only outcast me more. I don't care about their approval, but it still sucks being outcast from an entire culture. I have a lot of respect for what you did, especially coming out to a family in a southeastern country.
@rhiannonedwards9870
@rhiannonedwards9870 5 жыл бұрын
I already know I'm going to cry watching this. Thank you in advance.
@fritosXD
@fritosXD 5 жыл бұрын
this is such a good topic to talk about , thank you for being so open with us , :)
@nandydeleon4215
@nandydeleon4215 4 жыл бұрын
When he said from Puerto Rico Me oml I'm from Puerto Rico- But out of that😂 u r a very brave person I love u
@stephm4047
@stephm4047 3 жыл бұрын
7:57 that was the exact same first reaction from my parents and I am french 😅
@RR-gn1xh
@RR-gn1xh 5 жыл бұрын
Don't cry pls don't please nothing deserves your tears💕 Doesn't matter you are gay bi trans whatever u are u are a human and we all love you
@sugabrahma4829
@sugabrahma4829 5 жыл бұрын
i LiKe YoUr VoIcE!!!!!!!!!!!! IdK WhY !!!!!!!!!!!!!
@pinoyako8990
@pinoyako8990 5 жыл бұрын
Be true to self and speak for self.... People will always find your flaws... Let them be, as long your thats fine... I had two brothers, a trans also, at first its kind a wierd specially we share a shower when were in hurry... But they doin good ontheir respective field and they respect people and our family
@snaamez
@snaamez 5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, sounds like Puerto Rico I asked my Puertorican mom if I could get a tattoo or what she would do and she said to do it when SHE'S DEAD. It is really unfair how possessive they are, and she did say a lot of other horrible words to me and along the lines where "When I can't see you and you are OUT of my house" and how they want things to be going by their rules, like I know you love me but let me live!!!And then they tell the whole family (litteraly half the people in this fucking world) and the whole fucking family shames you, so I will get a fucking tattoo and they will fucking live with it. BTW LOVE YOU IVAN
@nyjah2398
@nyjah2398 5 жыл бұрын
When I heard his voice crack... I felt it.. i really wanna give him a hug qwq
@nandaxfr
@nandaxfr 5 жыл бұрын
i’m a bisexual latina and it breaks my heart so much that my mom begs me to portray femininity and sadly here in brazil it’s kinda really scary for non feminine or trans men it’s so sad to see the relief in my moms eyes when i’m with a man i kinda of feel u
@Kami73751
@Kami73751 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story. I was really touched by it. ❤️
@kenziebloom4924
@kenziebloom4924 5 жыл бұрын
Ik it's difficult to come out even to Asian cultures. But they you are their son and parents should accept that, for me I will accept anyone. I'm glad to accept you of who you are or anybody that's going through those types of situations. I love you❤
@monica8833
@monica8833 5 жыл бұрын
As someone whom is gay and in my case Effeminate and grew up in prodomimat Black , Christian /Hood culture...can definitely relate to some degrees
@wilee.coyote6063
@wilee.coyote6063 4 жыл бұрын
it seems that you still hurt. I am glad that you have support system. Thank you for sharing.
@IvanLamLJ
@IvanLamLJ 4 жыл бұрын
💗💗💗
@xmeng137
@xmeng137 5 жыл бұрын
Have you seen the trailers for Awkwafina's "The Farewell"? I think you'd enjoy that movie (in limited release this weekend). It's a story about Asian family and culture, and I think it takes people through an interesting thought experiment about group vs self. (Not directly relevant to coming out, but something to think about).
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