Coming Out to My Dad, the Founder of Conversion Therapy (by Richard Socarides)

[@SosiCreatesArt]

Some people in the comments are wishing a gay child on homophobic people, and as much as I wish something would make homophobes re-evaluate their beliefs, I wouldn’t wish a homophobic parent to any gay child

[@joshanderson9835]

it’s me, i’m the child with the homophobic parent 🥰🤠

[@s0phia71]

Josh Anderson oh my gosh same😽🤙🏻

[@naomis2308]

As the child of two homophobic parents with a homophobic older brother, honest facts. I hate it here.

[@mothines3064]

@@joshanderson9835 same lol-

[@Joseph-bd3pk]

Josh Anderson Puurrrr me too you’re not special

[@Kaavotibinada]

wow.. the creator of conversion therapy accepted his son and my mom is still trying to pray the gay away from me after a year since I told her....

[@Daydream_N]

ArtemusPrime your mom sounds a lot like mine, so I'll tell you what I told her. Anyone who ever quotes the Bible to say homosexuality is wrong is going against the word and sacrifice of Jesus. The passage that "forbids" homosexuality is found in leviticus, which is the old testimate. Which any Christian today will tell you that Christians no longer follow the old testimate because Jesus died on the cross which in turn brought in the New Testimate. So for your mom to tell you that homosexuality is wrong and she'll pray for you and all that trash, simply tell her that what she's doing is spitting in the face of Jesus and saying his sacrifice meant nothing and he was wrong, and if she knows more than Jesus does, why does she pray to his father?

[@nobody3888]

Howed you know you were gay?

[@Daydream_N]

NOBODY well. You're attracted to the same sex lol

[@rendomstranger8698]

Sierra Pruett Sorry to tell you but the new testament also contains pasages that condemn being gay. On top of that, Jesus said that the old testament rules still fully apply. Keep this in mind when using this argument. That being said, someone who values a book and their fear of death over loving their children is not a rational person in the first place. I doubt that they will listen to any arguments from "sinners" or those who are "broken".

[@Daydream_N]

Rendom Stranger and where does it condemn homosexuality in the new testament

[@cassif19]

So the founder of conversion therapy did not try to get his son into conversion therapy. I wonder why...

[@anyasea10739]

cassi farcas *conversion but good point

[@rmi9345]

Wouldn't be surprised to find out the founder was gay as well... that's just how life goes I guess

[@allenhamming3356]

Cus he knew that shit didn’t work

[@auroraborealis675]

SuperAspieGirl but* although you are right

[@itslukemott]

cassi farcas ikr, that's what i thought

[@ajroses4267]

The father of homosexual conversion fathered a homosexual... The irony is palpable here. If there is a God, this is one of his better jokes on humanity 😂.

[@Lizestechreviews]

“If there is a God” stfu obviously there’s a god. Idiot

[@jamesarnold2899]

Lizzy Hale dude chill. Not everyone is a theist.

[@tyler___4558]

+Lizzy Hale Oh fuck off. Stop forcing your religion on others, not everyone believes in God and there isn't even proof so you aren't entitled to hate on someone for voicing their opinion.

[@midnightrain9673]

Lizzy Hale you’re so pressed lmfao

[@kershmelody]

Wendy, the father started his practice in New York (having already been practicing for a few years) 8 months before his gay son was born, so unless he also had a talent for clairvoyance to go with his bigotry, I'm sure the two things were nothing more than a cosmic joke of a coincidence.

[@LOVELOVE-gk6fl]

I had a friend who's parents disowned him because he was gay. He was 18 at the time, and he was homeless for a while because they kicked him out. I cannot believe a parent would do such a thing. :(

[@TheCorrectionist1984]

Disgusting.

[@mickeymouse2able]

oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help us to understand that kind of BS! Kicked out at 18???? If my son was 18 and told me he was gay and he was 100% certain, I would fuckin be so proud of his maturity and stand on top of a mountain (or a tall building since I live in New York) and shout out " this kid is AWESOME!!!". I would say "do well in school, go get a boyfriend and be safe and be happy Mo Fo and be nice to people because that is what your Heavenly Father wants"! Yas!

[@Torthrodhel]

Heartless, completely heartless.

[@nuuraabdulkadir3217]

LOVELOVE did your friend say he hate his parents

[@vonkaabbas5186]

OMG!!!

[@lovemagicfantastic]

Bro the title "founder of conversion therapy" exudes the same vibe as "CEO of racism"

[@georgesmith4307]

It really does lmao

[@thatoneguy9582]

_ay CEO of racism I made you some lunch_

[@thethrowawaythatstayed7055]

Right? My eyes widened at that. What an awful “legacy”

[@jamesamala7371]

They work in the same office

[@cicidiaries]

I legitimately thought this was a The Onion video for a second there after I read the title

[@abowlofsalad8812]

My mother told me “I care more about God than I do you, and you’re going to Hell for being atheist and lesbian”. If you say this to your child, you don’t know how you are degrading them. I came out at school first (both secular and lesbian), and I got bullied endlessly by a lot of kids. I thought that my mother would be nice and support me before I came out. No, she only bullied me more. To you parents out there who are anti-gay or anti-secular, be accepting because what hurts the most is not when your kid gets bullied at school by it, it’s when the kid gets completely rejected by his/her parents because of such.

[@zzzcocopepe]

it's true. i try remember that somebody made up hell. Hell is just as real as any other book in the fiction section.

[@melissag7372]

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through but you are a valid and beautiful person

[@ojogbaneamedu2501]

A bowl of salad Lmao what, I’m sorry to hear about the bullying but I’m going to point out two things. 1. My parents have made it very clear to me they love God more than they do me, and I love God more than my parents. That’s how Christianity works, God comes first. They still love me and I love them but no Christian is ever going to tell you they love you more than God. 2. Your mother has not been reading her bible, Christians are not to judge. Telling someone they are going to hell or anywhere is just plain wrong and I’m sorry to hear that. Nobody can judge you, me or anyone else other than God almighty. So I wouldn’t take that too seriously.

[@KellySmith555]

+Ojogbane Amedu Thank you. Couldn't have said it better. I would like to add that no one should hate anyone for their beliefs or for the things that are outside of their control, like homosexuality. But, the Christian religion makes it kind of clear that if you don't believe in God, you will go to hell. However! At the end of the day, its God's judgement what will happen. No one can speak for God, so no one should ever say to another person that they "are going to hell" because no one has the authority to make that judgement except for God. I'm sorry they hurt you like that, but I'm sure its because they are hurting too. Its wrong for them to disrespect you for your homosexuality. You can't control that and there is nothing wrong with you loving whoever you love. No human should judge your love. But, in there eyes, they are worried you will go to hell. I can see why that might blind their eyes and make them say horrible things. I'm not a Christian, so I don't believe in hell, (but I do believe in God.) Regardless, I would recommend you tell them what you feel. Tell them that you want a relationship with them and that you've made your choice about God, and they will have to leave God to make a choice about you. Tell them they should let it be and enjoy your company here on Earth as their daughter while they can, as apposed to wasting the time you all have together being filled with hate and anger. I wish you the best. I hope I didn't offend you in anyway, and I'm sorry if I did. You deserve love and respect from your parents and I hope that one day they will give you that love.

[@user-mh9dx7nz2r]

You know the bible never says to wish hell onto others. Your moms a false Christian.

[@princessleia6806]

Oh the irony

[@EXTINCTICON]

i wanted to like this comment but the like count was "666" which was really cool so i didn't press like lol

[@ia8018]

Alice Delarge you're the best

[@EXTINCTICON]

u too

[@asdfsdfsdf5114]

everybody wants to be my enemy

[@culturedfrog7999]

my parents said that "god" is more important to them than their own, biological children. 🙄 They said that directly to us.

[@Snappldel]

Mine too :/ I was heartbroken. I was about 10 or 11 when they said that to us. I don't ever want to test if that's true or not because there's a good chance that they told us the truth. Especially since my father's a preacher.

[@JillianHadley]

+Jaake Anderson Well, to be fair, the bible is pretty clear on the fact that everyone needs to feel that way. God needs to be more important than literally everything else. They also are supposed to see each other as more important than their children. For them to think you mattered more than god would be going against the bible, for sure. I'm not saying this doesn't make your parents assholes, cause it does, but, I'd assume they had at other points also chosen to go along with the bible instead of common sense... If they also believe ridiculous crap about arks and talking snakes (with legs), then, it would be hypocritical of them to not believe the rest of the bibles nonsense. The bible absolutely tells you your children come third, and that never, ever, do any humans come first.

[@Snappldel]

Jillian Hadley That's true and the thing about piutting God in front of everything is one of the things that makes the whole concept of Christianity so stupid. I mean, that thing about Abraham killing his son, seriously? It's ridiculous.

[@JillianHadley]

MilkaC Extremely ridiculous.

[@ElftheDog]

Jillian, if that means sacrificing your child for a "God," would you do it? I hope not. An ideology should never be put in front of your loved ones as being important. Why? Because it's an ideology, not proven to be real. Believe what you want, idc, but to put it in front of those whom you should love is imo arrogant, narcicistic, and down right idiotic.

[@tashaselud8130]

Omg iconic

[@danielguy851]

This Bitch Empty Yeet omfg bitch

[@chiquewunder]

This Bitch Empty Yeet I just got ur name and omg rip vine

[@crystalw_725]

Iconic and ironic

[@Maria-il1nn]

1k like 💕

[@fluffyhead6377]

crystalwaterfalls_725 I was just about to say ironic as well 😂

[@renegademade3519]

I cried, my mom is making dinner one day when I was 16. She seemed like a upset so I asked her what's wrong. She said oh my co-workers daughter just told her she's gay! Can you believe having a gay daughter! I died. I'm a lesbian by the way

[@onewish2230]

You are amazing 🥰 being attracted to women even though you are a women is normal, I don’t understand why it’s so demonized. I’m sorry you have to hide a part of yourself from your mom, I know that must be hard. If she loves you now without her knowing that you like Women, she will still love you later if you ever decide to tell her❤️💖🏳️‍🌈

[@renegademade3519]

@@onewish2230 thank you

[@victoriaflanders8739]

You are awesome and valid and you deserve to be happy! I don't know what to say but I support you and wish you nothing but the best!

[@logiclanguagelearningFrench]

I suspect mom knows and was using rhetoric

[@ruadeil_zabelin]

I had a very similar thing! My mom told me "please sit down i have something very important to tell you".. I thought someone had died. Nope.. someone we knew came out lesbian, and my response was just... nice! good for her! And she really didn't understand how I could react like that, and how difficult it must be for her parents. I came out trans to them a couple of months ago hahaha. But they took it well in the end and she's very supportive soooo thats good.

[@epicfurry2127]

I very much disagree with the notion that all parents love their children and want the best for them. My father has called me a very large number of horrible things, and never once changed his position on anything he's said. And he only found out I was into men, I cannot imagine how much worse it would have been if he had found out I was transgender as well. I haven't spoken to him in a good 5 years, and I never will again in my life. He will die alone and he dug himself into that hole.

[@Deenique16]

Epic Furry I hope you're doing well❤

[@maxalberts2003]

Thanks or showing us the true meaning of Christianity.

[@maxalberts2003]

Your mother sounds like she receiuved her education from the one room Krischun shack in the three person town of Outpost, Mississippi when she wasn't stuck for days at a time in the menstrual hut.

[@lyricallemons6625]

Fucking furry

[@AppleWhiteFan]

Parents should not call there kids horrible things, that probably hurts way more then being called names by other people, can i give you an internet hug? - raises arms- ^^

[@jameseiner]

I think it's nice that the story had a semi-good ending on a personal level (not on a societal scope). But what i find morbidly funny is the fact that Mr. _"Homosexuality is just an illness"_ reacted to his son coming out with anger. Like if you truly believed that it's just an illness, then you wouldn't feel the need to get angry.

[@jmg9509]

For real. What a massive hypocrite, and I feel like this reveals what he truly thought of his own work. That he was not sure at all like he so stated in that interview. Might’ve even knew that it was complete bull.

[@theforestofoak]

exactly, and the fact he didn't try to "cure" his son, like he told so many other parents to do, says a lot about what he really thought about what he was preaching

[@feature.of.jarjar24]

Imagine someone says "I have depression" and their parent goes "Grr! You have depression!? I can't even look at you" lol

[@alexandermendez9013]

@@feature.of.jarjar24believe it or not, this happens a lot. They’ll be mad and say things like: “what could you possibly be depressed about”, “we didn’t raise you to be sad”

[@analias1983]

@@alexandermendez9013 yeah totally happened to me lol. my parents when they found me writing in my PRIVATE DIARY that i wanted to km$ screamed at me for half the night and told me to k!ll myself if i really wanted to and chased me out of the house basically. like obviously it was a messed up form of grief they were experiencing but putting those emotions on ME when I was already in crisis? horrible idea

[@kathleenlock8963]

The fact that he never even tried to get his own kid in his therapy program, is proof that his dad knew it was a bunch of bullshit, but he was making a boatload of money off of it and kept victimizing other people's kids.

[@derfinsniter5185]

This is a bad interpretation

[@phaedrus000]

@@derfinsniter5185 It may not tell us that he knew it was a bunch of bullshit, but it at least tells us that he was aware that the patients were not happy afterward. If he knew that his therapy not only worked, but had a positive effect on the patient's mental health instead of a negative one, he would have tried to convince his son to go through it. But he didn't. Because he was aware of the suffering he was causing.

[@maryannhanlon7828]

Not so,sure about that but ethically, one treats one own’s family regardless.

[@vickhallam12]

You didnt give any evidence to disprove it, though. It's a logical interpretation. Theres no evidence at all that conversion​ therapy works. Its confirmed, though, that conversion therapy is truamatizing and increases chances of suicide. So I dont know what makes us think the man who invented it is above knowing it didn't work and was just hurting people. Especially with the added evidence he refused to send his son. @derfinsniter5185

[@JCB576]

Not necessarily. The video explains it. He could still hold that believe yet value the love to his child nore than his own beliefes

[@ConkerTheCat]

This guy has the biggest set of balls Ive ever seen, coming out to your father who was the founder of the abuse known as ''conversion therapy'' took a lot courage.

[@emilyvargo]

Funny how people change their minds so quick when it's their own child...

[@rib_rob_personal]

I think it’s because they know them on a personal level and know there’s really nothing wrong with them. They’re just different haha.

[@1bam159]

@@rib_rob_personal "there’s really nothing wrong with them" if that was the case then wouldn't they think the same of other homosexuals? If they really think that then they are saying that every other homosexual is mentally ill but their child isn't. Just as Jeff said they are just putting on a face either out of respect or because they don't want to lose their child

[@13tuyuti]

Nah, he knew all along he was selling snake oil.

[@xTwilightWolvesx]

Christians in general are very sheltered. It usually takes something personal for them to realise how badly they’ve been treating others who are different. Don’t treat someone they way you wouldn’t want to be treated yourself.

[@aamandazittlau5505]

Not all parents unfortunately 😪

[@lamaddussa]

i wonder if his father was also gay. aren't many of the worst homophobes gay men who are struggling with their own feelings?

[@SM-333eyed]

mad dusa You are right there was a study done that proved your point.

[@Isabelle-fh3yr]

it's a possibility as much as it is that it's not the case. Thankfully, he didn't try to "cure" his son. It's a bit sad that he didn't change his outlook on homosexuality perhaps, but for somebody who's a founder of conversion therapy to accept his own son being gay is a big step.

[@lamaddussa]

Isabelle yeah, the real gay conversion therapy needed out there is helping people to overcome their irrational hatred of gay people...

[@Isabelle-fh3yr]

Yes, hatred goes a biiiit far indeed. Makes you wonder where that's coming from. When it comes to people having different beliefs (one of the reasons why they may not understand/support homosexuality), I'd say, it's good enough for now when we accept eachother's differences and we can let eachother live in peace. Forcing people to do/act out against their (personal) beliefs just creates more opposition, I think.

[@HUMC4L]

According to the studies, yes

[@diegobellavia]

When my dad found out I was gay he got so mad. He got so angry because he started thinking about my childhood and he felt bad because he wishes he could have supported me my entire life. He felt bad that he didn’t know better, and wasn’t able to help me get boyfriends or whatever. He just wants me to be healthy and happy.

[@roxas1382]

Parents: so, what did you learn today Me: the son of the founder of gay conversion therapy is gay

[@ellioshiem7892]

Sexualitty is attraction not an illness. I am straight but I understand people have different attractions. What a great guy you are. I would be so proud if you were My son.

[@meusisto]

No. All these paraphilias are mental illnesses.

[@dawynn9362]

His dad destroyed so many lives and probably led many to commit suicides through his teaching. That needs to be acknowledged.

[@Stepsof2Foreigners]

Wow, thanks so much for this video. Much appreciated and I admire your strength.

[@Littlepea2890]

Living proof that God has a sense of humor.

[@fridgemagnet9831]

😁

[@egallagher7368]

Acacia. I would like to thank you for this comment I was feeling sad and for some reason this made me laugh

[@derektorres3092]

I may not believe in God but if he does exist he does have a wonderful sense of humor

[@aamandazittlau5505]

Torturing a child by forcing them to grow up gay with homophobic parents hardly fits my definition of humour 🧐🥴

[@Aethelhadas]

Aamanda Zittlau we’re talking about the father’s point of view, and how ironic the situation is. I know it must be hard for the son.

[@bleeh2223]

I clicked on this thinking it was The Onion

[@strawwberryyy]

lmao same?? Idk why

[@ericaheap]

@@strawwberryyy same omg, i had to click on it to see if it was satire or not

[@BusyBeeStitchery]

Interesting that he wouldn’t use his own methods on his homosexual son. Sounds like he knew it was malarkey.

[@aggyzander]

My mom says “being trans is a sin because god made you a boy or girl.” So I said there’s nothing against it in the Bible. She felt salty!

[@stellaraevum799]

Dale Greeley Citation please.

[@saxx9088]

You can just say that god also made you want to be trans

[@mcgreger8091]

Stellar Aevum Have you read the Bible? There is not explicit mention of trans people in it lol

[@brandidavis4425]

@@mcgreger8091 There's no explicit mention, but there are a few times when the Bible condemns cross-dressing of any kind.

[@mcgreger8091]

Brandi Davis A trans person dressing as their gender isn’t cross dressing.

[@That.Capricorn]

Him saying "we couldn't come close to rebuilding the warmth from my childhood after I came out" broke my heart tbh ...

[@dandeliondunmer3637]

Yes ask straight people to explain gay people. because that makes sense

[@danieljohnson2046]

+tinfoilfeminist lol, ask a gay person to explain a straight person. Same thing

[@dandeliondunmer3637]

***** Yes but gay people don't attempt to explain straight people because everyone already accepts them as normal. I don't get what you are trying to say?

[@jessicakennon]

+tinfoilfeminist Exactly.

[@dandeliondunmer3637]

ita-eng subber also true

[@asho345]

As a doctor, you have to explain conditions all the time that you yourself have never been through.

[@detonationlurks]

"...well, we never came close to rebuilding that." That flicker of honesty hit me in the heart a bit.

[@foreverwantingpie]

This story gives me some hope

[@Abrahamhamham]

Why? Because all assholes die eventually? I agree. it gives me hope as well.

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

Lol nice profile pic

[@StraightGrandmother]

Wow 1967 to 2013, 46 years, and people STILL quote your father. You are not responsible for what your father did. Kudos for sharing your story. I think it will help. I think you have contributed to diminishing the prejudice towards sexual minorities. Thank you for this. Thank you very much.

[@slimjadeyyy]

So proud of this guy for having the guts to come out to his father

[@oaksong]

When I was around 35 I was home for Christmas and chatting with my siblings in the kitchen. Mom comes in, looks at me and says, "Are you homosexual?" I said, "Yes." She then said, "I need to tell your father." Well there are several things there; 1) I'm pretty sure he'd kind of always known and 2) we never spoke about it, he and I, neither before or after. Life just went on. So, in a sense, I never officially told my dad I was gay and I think he was happy with that.

[@silencieuxasmr6246]

tapionisapsyduck Wow you're so edgy.

[@Cadec247]

tapionisapsyduck I’m guessing you’re deep within the bowels of middle America

[@Cadec247]

tapionisapsyduck Florida? Haha

[@maxalberts2003]

And it was her business to take his decision on herself because…?

[@alyssawoodman]

Lol! I like this story :)

[@tonyburgessful]

When cbs did that special about him, and he got famous, he had no clue that he would father a gay child. In my life this has been a pattern with anti-gay folks. They spew all this trash at gays but never stop to think, "WAIT MY FUTURE CHILD MAY BE GAY"! My aunt used to talk about me when i was a gay teen to everybody about how shameful it was to have a gay relative. Ten years later "BAMM" i have a gay nephew. She's speechless.

[@LauraLaura-mv4xh]

that's funny bc one of the things that makes me accept every reality (aside from other people's right of freedom) is the thought "what if my kid is this? I will want him to feel accepted by society". idk how people think that it can never happen to them

[@ramonanaya6236]

Lol so did my partners aunt. She's homophobic and has several gay/lesbian children.

[@jmg9509]

I feel like I hear this so often. It seems like people who are extremely homophobic in their nature tend to have a higher likelihood of having gay children. Not so sure how scientifically accurate that is, but I’ve definitely seen it happen a bunch.

[@StorySenseChannel]

god was like u are spreading hate well let me send you a gift

[@helenofsparta3936]

I'm curious to know how he feels about the pain and the damage his father caused those who have gone, or been sent to, Conversion Therapy.

[@RonLarhz]

Helen of Sparta Yea he should make a public apology if not personal ones. Not this man's fault...tho it does make an awesome karma story.

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

He had no control over his father; he was a child.

[@adamplentl5588]

@@breetoldyouso yeah I dont think that's his responsibility as a gay man.

[@deborakr9298]

@@RonLarhz it really is not his responsibility. This whole 'your father's sin' mentality is just as backwards as is homophobia

[@notsafeformiranda4271]

RonLarhz breetoldyouso if he spoke out and said “btw this is wrong” then yeah that’d be cool but he shouldn’t have to apologize for what his father did. His father hurt him too. Even if he didn’t put him through conversion therapy, growing up in a household around people like that fucks you up. He was a child and had no choice. He’s another victim here even though he was eventually accepted, and he shouldn’t have to apologize when it’s obviously not his fault

[@bogsbinny7124]

I know how you feel. I had to come out to my best friend and it was very difficult. He was the founder of Grindr. It was very hard. Very hard indeed.

[@renigold3390]

Very "hard" *(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

[@Dyl_Cam]

You should've lubed him up before you told him.

[@milleliza1490]

Guess he didn't walk straight for a while after that huh?

[@kiky.mp4]

Lmao

[@frederickkriesel2724]

Talking about the app for the people who love Sandwiches right?

[@123456Daisy123456]

I am a Christian myself and I do believe in god. However, I would NEVER support homophobia, transphobia etc. If someday my child came to me and they said they're gay, I'd be so proud of them for being brave enough to tell me and for being honest. It just breaks my heart to see parents literally disown their own children simply because they're gay. Also, doesn't it say that god loves everyone? Everyone that he's created?

[@mochiibee8300]

TOTALLY SIS !! ❤️✨ You're a real Christian.

[@deeje3688]

While that's a great sentiment, I'd recommend some deconstruction research and see if you actually believe everything in that book happened

[@KingstonCzajkowski]

@@deeje3688 This has nothing to do with being Christian

[@deeje3688]

@KingstonCzajkowski just tryna help people get out of a false belief system, nothing wrong with exploring other people's perspectives

[@ola171]

@@deeje3688 While I'm not religious myself, I love the concept of it. How it provides a sense of reassurance and peace, how it brings people together and creates community, how you feel less alone with the thought that god or your community is always with you. I associated catholic communities recently and I just find it so divine and peaceful. While I do consider myself Buddhist and follow it's philosophy and therefore don't find much use personally in believing in a higher power, I see the purpose of religion and it's beauty when practiced right. Just my take on religion I thought of putting in out there on a random comment section.

[@naomi9625]

I'm sorry, but conversation therapy is probably one of the most horrible and scarring things to put someone through. No one should have to go through it.

[@eduardochavacano]

millions suffered... even if you are not in therapy. Just with religions and DYI attempts to convert.

[@knifoui]

Sorry for asking but is that Lin Manuel Miranda in your profile pic, i can't tell

[@naomi9625]

@@knifouiyeah💀

[@CeciliaDing]

what a thoughtful, articulate, emotionally present and intelligent man. good for you!

[@Juicy-J1118]

What courage that must have taken. You’re an intelligent, amazing, and talented person and I would be proud to have you as my son. I have two daughters, 9 and 2, and I will be proud of the people they will become and celebrate the small victories in their lives because that is what matters. 🌈

[@AxelQC]

It's completely untrue that coming out always improves your relationship with your parents. I know people who have been rejected by their parents and siblings for coming out. I would not recommend anyone dependent on their parents who suspect they might react poorly come out to them until they are fully independent.

[@vanessabolado2579]

Like a year ago, my friends and I hung out with a lot of other girls and started talking about things. Eventually someone asked what would we do if we had kids and one turned out to be gay. I was immediately uncomfortable in the situatuoon not because I am against gay people, but because of how much homophobia almost all of the girls had. Almost all of them where horrifired at the thought of having a gay kid and a lot of them said they would send them to camps to try and convert them which horrified me. I’m straight but I fully support the lgbtq+ community and to see so many people think that made me sad. It just goes to show how much homophobia is still going around and passed on from parent to kid, because we were all 14 I mean most of the thing we know at this age are from our parents. Anyway, don’t really know why I wrote all of this just wanted to share lol.

[@hideakisorachi3953]

that's really sad, I hope their mindset changes as they mature. I used to be weirded out by the lgbtq community when I was little until I started getting exposed to the internet and realized that I was trans and bisexual. I just wish people made more of an effort to understand others.

[@charlottegaston6469]

@@hideakisorachi3953 I was the same way! I was raised in a household where being lgbtq+ was seen as "weird". now that I've gotten older, I educated myself and came out as lesbian. even though my parents weren't against people being gay, they thought it was "weird" - but having an lgbtq+ daughter has helped them understand how normal and okay it is.

[@byrn]

Not my body (or life)? Not my business. Simple as that. Five minutes ago, I didn’t know this man existed. Didn’t know his sexual orientation, or the judgmental beliefs of his father. Now I know. And it hasn’t changed one g****mned thing for me. And five minutes from now, I’ll probably have mostly forgotten them, too.

[@nursegrace7492]

Well, if you're not interested in other people's lives...that's up to you. Good luck with that!

[@rorscach1]

Nurse Grace He's saying that his sexuality has no effect on him the way homophobes believe it does.

[@meusisto]

@@rorscach1 It does if they are trying to indoctrinate children.

[@chuckfriebe843]

@@nursegrace7492 I think you are looking at what was said all wrong. The person is saying it's none of anyone's business what someone else does with their life, as long as it's not illegal.

[@kirstenglae]

I love this guy, he has a great attitude and feel about him. He is just a good person, I can see and feel it in his aura. I love the way he smiles the entire time he tells his story.

[@emperor_elkcip4260]

that moment when the founder of conversion therapy can accept his son as gay but my parents can't accept me as transgender because it's too hard lol

[@isabellaahern5427]

I will be your mom now. Remember to wear sunscreen and drink water!

[@emperor_elkcip4260]

@@isabellaahern5427 lol

[@darthvader6916]

Aww i really hope you’re doing okay

[@fxaman]

I still can’t understand how conversion therapy is still legal in US. It’s like concetration camp for kids used to destroy their entire self and mind. People who run these places should get life sentence.

[@Luzi-chan]

well. they make a ton of cash and they lobby that they stay legal

[@stephaniewalsh67]

Proof that "indoctrination" is a myth. My daughter came out as trans while in college. I was the most heterosexual person there is. I fully accept the person they are and greatly respect them as a human being.

[@greatdanelegend7001]

It seems like the dad subconsciously knew that his "treatment" doesn't work

[@seanegan8150]

It's like people who want to force women to go through with pregnancies. They'll be fine with it for other women except when it's someone close to them, only then do they understand the pain

[@mlpmikemlp]

Richard, I am really proud of you for doing this. Your father was, of course, a man I could never admire. For you, that can be different as you knew all the aspects of who he was as a man and sexuality, or anyone's opinion about that, is such a small part of who we are as people. I never knew about your existance until I saw this and must say, you have now entered my "most admired" list of my lifetime. Coming out, for you, certainly was "different" than any other experience that I am aware of.

[@1533ramsay]

The fact that your father wrote you that letter is mountains better than most if us in the same boat... It chocked me up when he told you he was sorry and your the most important thing to him. Wow, how many of us wanted to hear those words uttered from our fathers mouths.

[@dcs4219]

he must have figured out at some point that conversion doesnt work, but he had to defend his position publicly--he invested so much in his book and theory.

[@krueger92]

It’s interesting that his father continued with his career in conversion therapy after his son came out to him. But he never tried to “cure” him. Is it because he knows conversion therapy is nothing but psychological torture? In which case, I guess it’s totally okay for him to do to kids he doesn’t know.

[@ireallyamjomarch]

What his therapist and sister said is wrong. Not all parents accept their kids when they come out. A lot are kicked out and/or disowned.

[@kroganpopy9206]

I love that you guys are doing these gay, lesbian, and transgender stories, but would also really want to see stories of bisexuals, pansexuals, non-binary, etc...

[@phaedrus000]

So he didn't want to put his own son in the conversion "therapy" that he was willing to inflict on other people's children. Got it.

[@Troubledfortune]

So inspirational. Every time I think I’ll never come out to my mother, I’ll think of his story. Maybe one day.

[@yolo-ni5bl]

Good luck. My parents were/are not accepting of the fact that I am transgender, but they are completely accepting of my bisexual sister. However, I will never regret being able to be my true self, even if they are assholes about it.

[@user-iq3fm1su2s]

I truly hope one day your mother chooses to know the full you but remember, you don't owe anything to people that don't accept you fully.

[@thecheck968]

So he created a system so abhorrent that he wouldn’t put his own son through it. Yeah. He still deserves to burn in hell.

[@luckylanno]

The fact that this guy had a gay son feels like a message from above

[@tsedaleforbes9532]

This man is super charismatic and tells this story so well. Like I feel bad but he also makes it light hearted enough so that I can laugh at some points and I don’t pity him, I just wish he could have rebuilt his relationship to what it was.

[@cyh7228]

My classmate's dad is a famous author in China who once said "Women who pursue philosophy is a disaster for philosophy and even more so a disaster for women". My classmate (girl) became a philosophy major

[@user-rx4jg8lq7h]

What a wonderful man! So at ease with himself. He seems like an absolute joy to be around. I'm happy he was able to give this issue with his unaccepting father a place in his mind and get on with his life so well, and glad at least the father wrote that letter although unfortunately never making the conversion ;-) to fully accepting homosexuality.

[@RainFall-wz2yp]

The intensity of my loneliness and my desire and ache for love are all-consuming

[@marcusbell9799]

I think the fact that he never wanted his own son to go through conversion therapy shows he doesn’t think it would actually work or at least he knew it was harmful

[@zanthus7]

This proves God has got a great sense of humor.

[@joseaod15]

I love that his dad’s book was dedicated to him 😂

[@walum2006]

God loves everyone no matter whether your straight or gay.

[@johndifrancisco3642]

Thank you for your story because the first thing my father said to me when I came out was to see a psychologist before making a decision. I think he knew it wasn't a decision but my mother did not (totally opposite from where I thought it was going to go). I can not imagine having to do this with with a father who was in the profession but I do realize they grew up in a different time and had there own beliefs and ways. They did what they thought was best and I am glad he did not push his therapy on you. My Mom still does not truly accept it. Sometimes Dads and Moms surprise you in the wrong (or maybe right) ways. I came out in the 70's and it's a whole lot different mentality than now, yet I still have all the stigmas in my head but your post made me feel that it could have been worse. Thank you, John.

[@parsnipmcgee329]

This youtube page: ImFromDriftwood just sort of popped up on mine. I've found it unfailingly engrossing. Young people still go through Hell apparently, but the difference between the resources that we had (I'm pushing 60), and now is mind-boggling. Truth be told, I don't trust in the stability of the current era of tolerance. For one thing, it's called "Tolerance". Also, the 2 minutes it took for dangerous philosophies to come out of the woodwork once Trump started shooting off his mouth is exactly what I feared. This program is wonderfully important. I thank you!

[@arfriedman4577]

During college, i had a male friend that told me he was now going to be a woman. It took him awhile to tell his parents. I think he moved out before telling his parents. We lost touch. I never forgot about him, now her.

[@psicologiajoseh]

This is sad and inspiring at the same time. I am very sorry that he was unable to rebuild the closeness with his father. But his comfort in being able to be authentic with him is admirable.

[@DKLong42]

I don't believe in God, but I was raised as a devout Christian. Thing is, people claiming to know what God wants is kind of farfetch'd, isn't it? To really know what he wants means you know him on a personal level. This also implies that you share the same thinking process, which is a fallacy at it's finest. God is omniscient; A person claiming to know what he wants would mean that they are omniscient by extension. I highly doubt that the latter would be true. The bible is also kind of a disappointment. There are people who believe that God used people as an instrument to construct the bible. They say that through them, God is communicating with us. Well, excuse me good sire, but was there any decisive evidence claiming that God really was communicating with these authors? Hmmm, I didn't think so. I respect people of all religions, but there are certain people who keep making their so called "sacred scriptures" an excuse to discriminate people.

[@boston1953]

Hahaha, you didn't really say that did you? If you did how can someone be that ignorant

[@DKLong42]

I took theology as a minor, excuse you. One of the concepts clearly states that while humans can know of the existence of God, they cannot know who he is personally. The sin also is not in homosexuality itself, but in homosexual acts.

[@TrunkMonkey3000]

DerekAllen Okay, so the teachings of man (as in humanity) taught you that you can not personally know God? Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Jesus Christ is teaching that you CAN personally know God. And there is a punishment for not knowing him and not caring to know him.

[@ericapatterson7844]

+TrunkMonkey3000 Why be eternally punished by an all-knowing, all-seeing, purely good being? Isn't that a bit extreme? And why be punished for not knowing, especially when the being KNOWS that the person doesn't know?

[@TrunkMonkey3000]

Erica Patterson Because people choose to rebel against God, just like Satan chose to. He is eternally punished. Mankind wasn't meant to rebel against God, we were meant to serve him and love him. Hell was not created for man, it was created for Satan.

[@mj-zl7kf]

I see a lot of comments bringing in religion, specifically Christianity... As a Christian, lemme say that anyone who is judge mental or bashing you for your sexuality and making you feel uncomfortable about it, is not a Christian. Period. Don’t let these people make you feel bad. Christianity is about loving everyone more than anything. Don’t pay these people any mind. I promise they’ll get theirs y’all. God put everyone on this earth for a reason and there’s a place in heaven for everyone. You’re loved PERIOD. 💓

[@KathrynMasrona]

Beautifully said thankyou as a fellow Christian 😘 And bisexual as I may add😅

[@mj-zl7kf]

Kathryn S No problem girl we got love for everybody here baby 💕

[@mikhail.lawley]

That's no true scotsman fallacy

[@mcgreger8091]

Mikhail Lawley Exactly. @ op, anyone who believes in the abrahamic god and believes Jesus died on the cross to save us from sin is a Christian. Just bc the religion is used for bad doesn’t make those people non-religious. You cannot just exempt Christianity from criticism by saying “anyone who is hateful isn’t Christian UwU” when the reality is they ARE Christian and Christianity is the root of a lot of homophobia (this is not to say all Christians are homophobic). You can’t ignore the bad parts of something and pretend they don’t exist. Freedom of religion means you can’t dictate what another person believes. homophobic Christians are still Christians. They’re just ignorant ones.

[@mj-zl7kf]

McGreger ...how are you going to claim that you are a Christian and be homophobic?? That goes against the exact point of Christianity, which is to love people like Jesus did, and how are you going to do that when you have hate for a whole group of people in your heart?

[@abbieamavi]

To the gay kids with Christian parents: it’s gonna be ok. I’ve been through it, and am on the other side now. You’ll make it :)

[@Angellady11]

Don’t forget Muslim parents too

[@megangovier6919]

I'm proud of those who've come out , love to you all!✨🌸

[@schroeder666]

What a chilling video. And this person seems to have no idea why it's so disturbing. His father helped ruin how many peoples' lives with the falsity of his abusive beliefs? And yet when his son comes out, he casually dismisses his own fake ideals and embraces his son - revealing his own lack of giving a shit about truth or justice on any level. He serves no greater moral authority, in other words, and feels no need to abandon his corrupt or incorrect beliefs, and instead just does whatever is CONVENIENT. This is why the world is a flaming ball of garbage.

[@flowerflowerflower258]

why did this get recommended by KZbin 7 years later...

[@Imafly5150]

he's handsome.

[@vanshikadhyani13]

THANK GOD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! I WAS SITTING HERE FINDING A 40 SOMETHING-YEAR-OLD, GAY DUDE ATTRACTIVE!

[@itrytobesatisfying3674]

Vanshikalikestowrite he’s not 40. probably older. but don’t call him old and disgusting. you swine. he’s hot.

[@pinkpanther7442]

Minus the nose

[@thelessimportantajmichel287]

Pink Panther I’m pretty sure a most people are finding him attractive partly because of his strong nose. Plus, it’s hard to find people of Greek descent who don’t have a strong nose.

[@StorySenseChannel]

we are so alike in the way we think. lets be friends

[@user-up6sx1zp5q]

why is the founder of conversion fucking therapy more accepting than my own

[@stonesoul-ds7fx]

I know I'm kinda jealous

[@wolflight9299]

Takes a lot of guts to do that man! Props to this guy for coming out to his dad even though he was the founder of homosexual conversion.

[@iCEL55]

Thank you for your incredible story! Love is love!

[@alexisoutt1428]

Im so glad that he was able to maintain a relationship with and love his father and not look back at him with only anger. His father was in the wrong but the most important thing is that this gay man could be the bigger man and forgive his father, because ultimately it seems like his own life was healthier for it.

[@multifandombish1855]

I'm so over that I see Corona word everywhere . I read the title as Corona Therapy, and was like Corona therapy 7 years Ago??!

[@pault9544]

multifandom bish because that’s all we see on the news now 24/7. Good riddens...

[@ramonanaya6236]

Lmao

[@sami.s9718]

I’m bisexual but I have like no ability to tell anyone..I’m so scared.

[@animetrashtrash5919]

Well you just told KZbin so great progress

[@nuuraabdulkadir3217]

Sami .S did you hate your parents

[@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I]

hi fellow bi here. are you safe. If you are tell them, if not I'm so sorry and I hope you can turn this around

[@sami.s9718]

@@the_sky_is_blue_and_so_am_I since my comment i have been able to tell my parents! luckily they are accepting of me

[@e11a222]

tearing up at these comments. you are valid, you are loved, and you most certainly aren’t alone. stay safe i love you❤️

[@abraxasjinx5207]

But did his dad ever accept his own homosexuality? No one goes on that kind of campaign without some deeply repressed motives.

[@averagejohn47]

Wow, when I came out (in 2015) my dad said "I love you, but I want you to see a therapist." And this guy's dad was a "therapist" and didn't try therapy. Wtf

[@MattieCooper10000]

When I was 17 I knew a woman in my acting class who was much older than me. She told me she counseled homeless Youth; kids in their early teens mainly. She went on to tell me that all homosexuals were molested. I was young and vulnerable and did not like conflict, so I said nothing and this has been a nightmare!!! I've never been able to get it out of my head! I want to go back in time and tell her she's much too intelligent to actually believe that! She's letting her Christianity get in the way! I've had many friends who are gay and were never molested and some of them I actually asked if they'd ever been abused and my best friend laughed and said that his own Mother would have told me had he been abused! He was right, his mom was a character! I want to tell Nancy-yes her name was Nancy- that she was so WRONG, that many many gay people have lived together for years as a happy couple who were never abused. And how in the would would she explain people who were molested who are straight and heterosexual??? She could not, at the time, because she was too busy deceiving herself and trying to get everyone else, namely young teenagers to believe her bullshit with her. I hope/pray to all the Gods that someone, somewhere, somehow got to her and SLAPPED the SHIT out of her on an intellectual basis and showed her that she’s dead WRONG! I wish I could go back and actually tell her myself!

[@caitlinmorris7130]

this just got recommended to me in 2020 but I’m here for it

[@soumiguha9306]

The first time i heard of this man and his father was in Dustin Lance Black's "When We Rise" show. Its so wonderful to hear him talk about this experience.

[@Finnegan_Floof]

i'm fortunate to have parents that understand that it's not going to change my mother is amazing and is extremely supportive and understands what religion has done to me my father is very christian, so you can imagine my relationship with him isn't.. the best. i love them regardless and they love me. even if my dad is more invested in my little brother's life in sports lol i'm now in my athiest journey. i hope i can recover.

[@themarktauber]

Richard, thank you so much for making this video. In the early 1970s, when I realized I was gay (age 13), I found ways of getting books on homosexuality secretly, which I devoured growing ever more dispirited. Although I never actually found your father's published work, I did find many secondary sources that referred to him. I'm afraid none were positive (even in the 1970s!), most pointing out that his claims of cures had many dubious, clinically suspect elements. Anyway, he was always this Mephistophelean figure for me, the evil genius who kept alive the sickness theory, giving homophobes a patina of medical respectability. I'm glad you humanized him without diminishing his flawed approach to "curing" homosexuality. I am curious if he continued to hold to his clinical judgement of mental illness, or began to reconsider it, after you came out to him.

[@melanybedoya3690]

Who is here after they found out the founder is also gay

[@ItsMartianGirl]

Wait what????? :o

[@lindafitzgerald6243]

This would be a great story line for a film

[@r.d.whitaker5787]

I'm thinking the same thing!

[@clanbigger4]

Absolutely fascinating. Wish I'd know about this channel earlier

[@mystyc0]

There are a lot of "coming out stories" on youtube, but really, this one is by far the best.

[@monaebreak561]

I love this, so amazing! The son is strooong!!!

[@alfenito]

I went to Socarides as a young man. He was always nice and never made me feel creepy. He did convey an unwavering sense that something went wrong for me and let's try to figure it out. He gave (or I bought. I can't remember) me his book called Homosexuality. I can remember him suggesting that I turn the sleeve of the book inside out so that I didn't get odd looks on the subway. I thought that was nice. But it definitely reinforced this sense of shame I had. When I moved, he told me to go to another shrink in Boston. Guess what, thousands of dollars later, and nothing that these guys did 'fixed' me. It only made me feel more ashamed. Finally said, F*** It! I WOULD be happy if you weren't constantly trying to convince me that there was something wrong with me!!!!!!!!! FU to Dr. Socarides now that I watch this video, b/c it sounds like he didn't even believe in his own therapy. He just happily took my money even knowing it was a total sham.

[@AudiophileTubes]

Yes, he harmed a lot of people with his outdated, wrong conclusions. Many say he was a charlatan.

[@ImnotassweetasIusedtobe]

They've never accepted me and it's been 25 years

[@ImnotassweetasIusedtobe]

But they did send me to conversion therapy for years. 3 YEARS.

[@karla5395]

My mom did a 6 months mini crisis, but she is ok and happy now 😅, they will get over it. You should not stop being who you are just because other people don’t like it.

[@marleenconrads8738]

how am i seeing this in 2020? i just realized this video is 7 years old. but still iconic! i learned something new today!