Communication Hack for Connection & Influence |

[@BillehBong123]

Question: in the example that you just gave, aren't you just giving implicit agreement of someone's idea when you don't infact agree with it? It's great to make people feel validated but it shouldn't come at the expense of going along with whatever they're saying.

[@ShadeZahrai]

Thanks for the question. I'll give you 2 examples of replies in the context of how to substitute 'but' with 'and' in the context of collaborating with someone that's disagreeable and has equal or more power - without having to agree. USING BUT "We could re-hire contractor X because they're familiar with our site protocols BUT they're expensive and a little slow. I think we can find better deals." USING AND "We could look at rehiring contractor X since they're already familiar with our work-site, AND just to make sure we're getting good value with timely delivery, let's get a couple of other quotes from reputable contractors who are also familiar with our type of worksites." Hope this helps!

[@PapaRora]

How are you so amazing! Where were you in my 20s?!! Better late than never!

[@honzareality]

@@ShadeZahrai I learn this in Never split the difference :-) And I use it ever since.

[@KeshavBhola1008]

👁️

[@UnknownUser.ar1]

I prefer to use less words and be straight to the point. People need be less sensitive I will say it in a polite and soft voice tho. - Khaled alharbi 25 Jeddah, ksa

[@fixinfkinsandwiches6183]

Her voice is so perfect.

[@eng-ishow]

Bro this is made by ai

[@notperfect005]

Yeah "voice"

[@Brandon-kp5to]

@@fixinfkinsandwiches6183 bonk

[@benli3278]

@@eng-ishow really?

[@muaviyakmr29]

@@benli3278 yup,.luk at her other vdeos

[@aritrasur2682]

Honesty and clarity of communication is much more important than making someone feel good all the time

[@sunofpeter2]

Yeah is that you tried making everyone feel better all the time? Then it fell apart before your progress was made? Good thing you found this gem of a communicator as she shows a better way. Good luck chum hope you figure out where you went wrong.

[@JeEL2610]

indeed

[@sstein4777]

Agreed. Especially using such long sentences that unveil how hard you are trying and make you look fake in the end

[@alfacentauri3686]

"Yes, if ..." would be a better answer. You don't create an obstacle with a "but", you just set a criteria for the idea to be accepted.

[@ShadeZahrai]

If your only aim is to make the person happy by telling them what they want to hear then it's not collaboration and it's disingenuous. Only through the clash of ideas can you have the sparks of truth. Note - not the clash of people. Depersonalize the ideas. In a situation when you need the person to collaborate - leading them to open their mind to new possibilities (not necessarily agreeing) instead of dismissing their perspective can be more influential. You can (and should) absolutely be honest and clear.

[@ujjwalrocks]

You are so articulate. I am hooked on hearing you talk

[@curlsbyalexa]

These very very small details are everything. The world would be a better place if people placed importance on choosing how to think and communicate for the betterment of others and themselves

[@SpiritXd5]

We need more people like you on this planet earth...

[@fabricciodominic7473]

with good fronts?

[@HighonInternet]

​@@fabricciodominic7473 😂

[@jonathand.terrell3419]

This lady is exceptional in communication skills. Love her channel!!

[@sailboatlighthouse]

In my age and not shy from learning the wisdom of this young lady, great job and keep it up

[@akhytea8345]

its up alright

[@utkarshaggarwal1631]

You completely changed the answer from not accepting their suggestion to accepting it. It's better to be assertive than just agreeing with everything

[@gurindersingh8109]

You are wrong. When someone say something how can you instantly conclude about its true impact? A professional would try gather more facts about an argument before taking a decision. Decision is expensive, you can't deliver it like an instant coffee. Therefore encourage and applaud every bit of info when you hear it first. Think

[@utkarshaggarwal1631]

@@gurindersingh8109 what if that opinion has already been tried just like the answer she gave herself in the video suggesting that it didn't work ....I agree with the "thinking" and making a decision part. But you need not think if the idea is repeated for a similar situation in the past where it didn't work.

[@kartikpanjabi6801]

@@utkarshaggarwal1631 yeah that's true but here she is more tallking about conversation skills that we are used a lot without any conscious thinking. You know like after every yes and but people don't like to hear rest of the things

[@aunkanmandal360]

Just say yes instead of no ,super simple. Everyone will like you.

[@sonalshukla9447]

I feel the vibe from the book: Win friends and Influence People

[@kathypear2540]

@@sonalshukla9447 Ty for give Dale his credit 👏

[@Kurt-t9h]

I’m in love with her voice

[@mayurvakare5930]

Honestly, You just talk with my heart💖 Loved your communication skill✨

[@stevenbest6470]

This lady is brilliant. Thanks much for words of wisdom. Best wishes.

[@Adeosisamson-ci3pt]

Shade, you're the best. Love your input, always.

[@rajneeshpant5284]

Shade I must say you really understand communication so well .. really inspiring ideas & modifications..

[@fabricciodominic7473]

haha

[@teminoah2960]

Super correct. Constructive criticism fosters team spirit, collaboration which inturn increase performance and productivity

[@saianihami]

But to and- negative to positive plus acknowledge their ideas. 👏

[@vanzylw1]

This woman is a champion ! Imagine spending 3 months with her, gaining momentum and developing yourself, to position yourself as new CEO

[@SRSGAMER07]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@SRSGAMER07]

but true

[@quasiosa]

Only your mind will change to be CEO not position actually, but you may become that soon, based on your current position if you continue the mindset.

[@manjeetmondal220]

new ceo in dream world😂😂😂

[@eugenek777]

I'm ready to feel myself as a CEO by spending a night with her

[@larrybird3729]

loving these shorts🎉🎉🎉

[@rohitjagtap14]

I am excessively impressed by your delivery, the way you talk and all your mannerism is something that I admire a lot. Including all the little things you do, like you have a content smile while you talk, and all the hand gestures. Your face radiates positivity and your enthusiasm. That is something I'll like to add in my personality. And, your immense knowledge about the topic, its like icing on the cake.

[@poorvachauhan]

I saw you and instantly felt connection ❤

[@MuscleMeetsMind]

Nice! Dale Carnegie taught me this as well

[@samuel12345678922]

Where were you 10 years ago... All these teaching are beneficial , God bless you kind heart 💓

[@nourhanmegahedmahmoud4252]

I discovered that i do this unintentionally since last year since i started thinking positively about stuff and it really does work magic in perspective not just for people who are around u but for u as well

[@inuwabajoga4376]

Communication is the best way to understand people

[@commuicatewithpallavii]

Well explained! This simple change can completely change the tonality of the sentence! By being more solution oriented, the conversation will be more inclusive and engaging!

[@gladstoneb879]

Yes..communication is key.😊

[@ohanthemoneydoctor]

From negative to positive 💯

[@TV-pe9lk]

and you can also do that to yourself to learn from mistakes. Genius ! Thank you!

[@kittik493]

Right, Thanks Shade

[@oluwasegunphilip5467]

Definitely learned from this🙏🏾 Thank you Ma'am

[@rahul-yr]

I am just watching your videos, just because of your facial expressions 😃

[@shivafoods007]

I believe in straight forward communication

[@nayeemakhtar2332]

Yes I agree, and make sure you are learning to make good videos that didn't work last time ❣️

[@alex-ander-13]

Thank you so much for this insight!

[@techturnerco]

Amazing Audio Output!

[@BeeDingaling]

Thank you...just little tips like this can totally change the tone of delivery

[@stevenreynolds6697]

So working together we all win-win

[@Aashumal_16]

❤Nice explanation mam❤

[@theamplifiedbustle4251]

I am from India. I have learned alot to this channel.

[@micha8255]

I clicked her video once, now I'm seeing suggestions from her all the time "and" I'm not regretting that. Such a nice change after all those almost naked girls from tick tock. Prove that besides having a good look you can also share something useful with people to be noticed 😘

[@souhityogupta7704]

Your contents are literally transforming people ... Love and respect to you Ma'am from India

[@piyaliwalia2154]

U R Awesome and M really appreciate ur suggestions

[@ShadeZahrai]

So nice of you. Thank you 😊

[@RAHULSINGH-rk8nq]

Wow Shade, keep sharing it..

[@Yogeshjain84]

Ur voice is very nice, so soothing..

[@pawanbains4787]

That is very good way to exchange words

[@daviddr2d2]

Good point, will do that, thank you.

[@BearerOfLightSonOfGod]

For some bizarre reason I like the way she talks not sure why but I can understand her more that other people.

[@stevensvideosonyoutube]

It's going in the right direction

[@vivekanandan1882]

Yes, this is what my friends have to see before talking to me.

[@thundercascadia]

Simply, it is adding “yes, and.”

[@EMPNETWORKS]

that is genius! great. ya got a sub

[@antararaman3879]

Loved it! perfect use of words

[@abdullahabbas975]

I find your videos to be very thorough and well versed. Your videos blend human pscychology and work place code very well.

[@Fairisfairhg]

With your voice that “And” will go along way.

[@stefanociamarra2505]

Great tip! we all need more straight forward, more positive and less sugar-coating interactions in our lives!

[@youthwave]

Your body language reflects color, charm, and shine. Beautiful video. Subscribed.

[@محمدفارسعبدالغنيالعبادي]

Thank you so much for very useful video ❤

[@andrewdressler6173]

All this stuff sounds great until you actually get into a workplace and realize that everyone is an idiot, and you decide its easier just to join them.

[@extrawhy]

To much truth for one comment.

[@ankurmehrotra6506]

There is a book on communication which is called 'surrounded by idiots'

[@chimmeriri]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tessa7778]

😂😂

[@astronautonmars]

Faxx 😂😂😂😂

[@lahongwan4440]

Yes your advice is so true and on point. Some times I fel it only me learning all the nice things from you, and others continue to invalidate me. Thank you Shade for your help thanks you again.👍👍🙏❤️

[@JCBurdenLifter]

What an amazing piece of advice! Thank you!

[@mostofakamal8981]

Your way of taking is just amazing 😍

[@jancsi-vera]

Thank you. I like this idea - a subtle approach.

[@everenigmatic5805]

"AND will it work just like last time? AND what have we learned from it?"

[@rawdatulilm]

That's a great suggestion. ❤ Thank you

[@robbynv9900]

Your advice is so awesome and on point.

[@micahdooley2729]

That’s great advice! Thank you. ❤

[@ShadeZahrai]

Glad it was helpful!

[@rohitkumarjena3257]

I read this in one of Tony Robbins's books. Where he was talking about how friction in conversation impacts the emotional state of the other person.

[@MusicExcellence]

Thank you so much. This is very inspiring 💛🧡💚

[@Scoobie..]

Didn't Understood But Feels Good After Listening This😅

[@abhishek-5221]

after she completed me:- Oh..sorry, You're Saying Something

[@Scoobie..]

@@abhishek-5221 😆😆🤝

[@abhishek-5221]

@@Scoobie.. 🤜

[@PARDEEPPINTO]

Thank you so much for this tip

[@pembanurbusherpa6179]

I love your voice 😍💕

[@albert2090]

I second that….

[@mangosorbet8183]

Great tip. I happen to me and many people I know !! Great tip for the communication

[@consciouschirag]

Thank you for sharing such useful content. You add so much value & make it look so easy at the same time. We need more Women Leaders Like Yourself. Such A Role Model. 👏👏👏

[@Savageclown2093]

One of my favorite ideas out there, I learned this from a book I read in college last year called - Yes, And. This has such a positive effect..!

[@rezaf7086]

❤that's right Doci Doci❤

[@VoiceYourVision]

Great tips. Thanks for sharing

[@KuldipSingh-pw4ec]

Great words and guidelines to succeed.

[@orolimomov5866]

My mentor used to use it all the time in the class. Even if your understanding is totally incorrect, he would start with " yes, that is right and " tell the correct answer. That makes you fell good.

[@mohammadmehdi2305]

Your conversation shows that your personality is very high. You are such a nice person.

[@phillipsantana2633]

So true it also puts you in team mode as mentioned validate the thought but build on it by substituting and. It's much better.

[@crazymaths23]

You are super simple. I like the way you put it.

[@anthonyquote1593]

In business things are crystal clear. If someone says such a statment you say "No your idea sucks because last time it costs us a lot" This will help him restructure his thoughts and next time not say an idiot idea.

[@manhnguyenthe6194]

I love so much that idea ❤❤❤

[@physician4541]

Most amazing voice tone I’ve heard!

[@BillJamesWallace]

Great vid! I use AND all the time! (well, maybe not ALL the time) but I do try! It totally opens up the conversation.

[@ZhiznTV]

Positive attitude ❤helps more us you're right✔

[@superman6262]

Subscribed!

[@samuelluz9241]

Game changer honestly . thanks for the life hack

[@marytes3758]

Thank you!

[@abdulrazzak3976]

@Shade Zahrai Thanks for sharing this information 👍👍👍

[@ngo73221nc]

You have excellent communication skills. My wording are terrible and I’ll use your technique

[@saidfarid6382]

Hello dear teacher What you present is really intersting and amazing. Thanks a lot

[@SP-Steel]

It's better to tell upfront if something is going to work or not. I don't beat around the bush, and go straight to the point. I appreciate if others do the same to me. Feeling validated is a secondary issue.

[@ShadeZahrai]

Sometimes it's also smart to be tactical to influence. Acknowledging and opinion doesn't mean agreeing to the person's opinion or not being clear. We all prefer to do it our way but that's not always effective. Different tools for different situations.

[@jollyhaobijam8917]

U are super... This idea looks great!!

[@popcornMD]

You and your voice.......ohhhhh ❤️❤️❤️

[@prabhukumar356]

❤ beautifully said

[@rahulk866]

Thank you 🎉🎉🎉

[@DistortedShelf0]

Use "but", as it's a completely valid conjunction. Just swap the clauses so the nice part comes after. Also, don't be objective... share vulnerable emotions. "Well, I'm worried because it didn’t work last time... but, I like your idea. Maybe if we make some tweaks it could work really well!" People have been so afraid of saying "but" recently lmao. Smh my head fr real 🤦‍♂️💯❓️

[@callousconflict]

Very good skill!