Compilation Of Michael’s Best Jokes About Planes And Airports | Michael McIntyre

[@moubhattacharyya1141]

He is so observant and has perfect timing in blending humour with the everyday situations of life.

[@jess8153]

Kevin McCusker well you’re such a jolly person aren’t you ?

[@hodb3906]

Kevin McCusker he is not that rich you tosspot. His jokes are spot on to reality. How old are you?

[@unity1016]

Do you remember David Brenner? That was his thing, too.

[@marionthompson3365]

Yes, he reminds me a little of Dave Allen.

[@terraformer_141]

He's one of the few comedians that actually make me laugh 😂

[@tjm6086]

热带 same

[@jjwy4tt215]

Same 😂 he make s me laugh 😂😂😆😆 real hard

[@jamesboldcomedy6914]

I agree with you - but I try my best to be as good as him - in a different way!

[@Mortum_Rex]

What about Trump?

[@jamesboldcomedy6914]

@@Mortum_Rex He makes me want to cry😏

[@AviationTV]

"Don't you want my passport?" "No need sir, we can see the way you handled the rope system. Welcome home!"

[@bryantinio2929]

Can we take a moment to appreciate the person who has to move the spotlight around the stage as Michael is running around?

[@jones6613]

Must have real buff arms after a while

[@chesh1rek1tten]

My friend who's a light technician for the local state theatre said exactly that when I showed him this clip ^^

[@peeet]

And the camera!

[@Adogdoingdogthings]

They must have practiced or done it quite a lot

[@mli3728]

defi a full-time job, confirmed!

[@gillygerbilchillman3281]

Love Michael's humour...he's so funny and without being vulgar or swearing excessively. Just a brilliant comic and entertainer

[@arlena3297]

The passport thing is so accurate

[@NerdX151]

I went to the airport once wearing a new jacket, where I placed my passport in the inner pocket. What I didn't realize was that the pocket was much deeper than it felt like. I think I burned 10 days worth of calories in my body from the sheer panic when I suddenly couldn't feel my passport. lol

[@nikiryan8648]

misplaced mine coming back from Ireland....total panic mode until I found it in pocket of jacket I had taken off.

[@catherines2544]

The funny thing about the race to get off the plane is that....usually you can't go anywhere. So everyone rushes to get up, get their stuff, then ends up just standing there for another half hour impatiently waiting, trying to hold their place in the aisle for themselves and their family/friends.

[@floatingstarfish932]

Or they barge off the plane... and get on to the bus which waits until all the passengers are on before it leaves for the terminal!

[@eb7446]

I never play this game on any transport. Trains, nope let everyone what's the point? They can stress out, I will just sit here thanks.

[@jemmaj2919]

On my last plane, the flght was one hour late, which meant i could miss my transition flight, this stupid woman next to me sitting on the aisle seat, felt entitled to sit and wait cuz she has nothing to rush for, i had to push her out. If u'r sitting on an aisle seat dont assume ppl have nothing to do next

[@NerdX151]

If you are on a domestic chinese flight, you can also expect to see old grannies trying open the doors themselves and slap the flight attendants when they tell them to let the business class passengers off first. It is a fight to the death xD

[@jhcfight]

It would be funny if everybody stayed in their seat, so that flight attendants really have to ask everybody to go off.

[@OLGMC]

The real winner is that person who’s bag comes first on the belt and leaves the exit first 😅

[@jemmaj2919]

Lol i dont even check in my little suitcase

[@NerdX151]

That feeling when you are the second person to get your bag, and then the person in front of you gets pulled over by the customs officer. I WIN, SUCKER!

[@jhcfight]

The reason why I mostly travel with hand luggage only that I can skip the belt waiting. Even the customs goes quicker that way.

[@andreeaafuni4999]

Oh I was that person once! It is indeed a wonderful feeling, it brings a spark of joy, but alas i believe one only gets to experience it only once in a lifetime...

[@kimbo5260]

Mine didn't even came bc apparently there's been a worker strike and mine happened to be one of very few that didn't get delivered to the belt. I ended staying in the airport for an extra 2 hours only to be sent home and get my suitcase the next day. Good thing I had pyjama with me.

[@munga1111]

The fun reason the blinds need to be open for take-off and landing: During these times the likelyhood of an incident increases dramatically, in the event the aircraft crashes on take-off or landing and the fuselage remains intact, then rescuers will need to be able to look inside, so open your blinds.

[@Jedi_Spartan]

Jack Whitehall: If something were to go wrong with the engine, you are the pilot's eyes. I beg your pardon! I'm not ready for that responsibility! And no one told me this when I purchased the ticket, I was under the impression that I would be travelling under the capacity of passenger not copilot!

[@Jedi_Spartan]

@@TheDreamingofFreedom I didn't say anything, I was just quoting Jack Whitehall.

[@NsTheName]

That and your eyes need to be adjusted to the light outside of the plane. You can't pause in the doorway blinking, you need to get out fast. (former stewardess ^^)

[@lizvlx]

well - there is a far more common reason - inn case something goes wrong with the engines (not that rare) - like malfunction alert lights up in cockpit, the flight attendants need to check the engines if they are really malfunctioning or if it is a false alert. same with flaps not engaging correctly etc. that visual check is happening quite often, passengers just dont notice.

[@leavoda3791]

Well that's not comforting, not by a long shot....

[@cocochanel3074]

I also like the fact that his comedy is for everyone. Funny and adorable!!

[@rhig4081]

Coco Chanel it's all so relatable.

[@McLeanAmy]

I've only just realised why passports are called passports...

[@pauljordan4452]

Passing through the port?

[@tillyboos]

LOLOLOLOL.....it actually dates back to biblical times when Nehemiah in the Old Testament requested a letter for "safe passage" from King Artaxerxes I of Persia, when he was traveling to Judea (which is today part of modern-day Israel) so passports literally mean "safe passage."

[@tillyboos]

@@pauljordan4452 In medieval Europe, that's precisely what it meant when people passed through the gates (or portes, as they were known then) of the medieval walled cities.

[@JustinCase99999]

@@tillyboos porte is just the french word for gate or door. Passport comes from French passeport. Port is a seaport, but it also meant any type of passage you had to pass through.

[@tillyboos]

Justin Case Yes, I speak some French, so I knew that. And it’s interesting because the evolution of the Passport throughout history is from a myriad number of sources.

[@xplayman]

The queuing system at the end of the video is so true! :D As Americans, we do the over the rope thing. When we went to Dubai we saw British people walking the whole queue. In Bali, we saw Australians doing the sideways squat underneath the rope and we continued to do our over the rope "Yeehaw."

[@helgaioannidis9365]

Yes and being a German I actually would have opted for opening and closing the rope thing accurately. My Italian friends would have opened it and just leave it open for the ones behind...

[@jemmaj2919]

😆😆😆us brits just have so much manners

[@liamamundson7696]

Yep, you got us aussies down pat there mate. This happens all the time at our Sizzler's and Centrelinks too

[@zubairibrahim3795]

Helga Ioannidis loool the Italian thing is the one I can relate to 🤣🤣🤣

[@tanya9112]

I will often slink under the rope Aussie, Aussie,Aussie!😂

[@trizzkennedy8353]

You can often see Australians doing the common “side ways squat”

[@alexthomas7470]

Russians do the same. I’m British but but my Slavic side has a bit more sense.

[@evillyn7895]

Michael can make anything hilarious.

[@evillyn7895]

@@Peter-pg8qn That's not funny.

[@homemail9653]

9:23...and off we go!!!! This guy is a gem

[@ixlnxs]

It's my favourite bit in ALL I've ever seen of him.

[@Jules-dn9jl]

I'm so glad Micheal McIntyre exists. He isn't just a comedian. He lives humour.

[@AlienSensei]

Regarding the blinds, I had mine half-closed during landing because the sunlight was kinda slow-cooking my crotch through the window and one of the stewardess asked me to open it all the way up. I asked why and she answered so that if there's something wrong with the engine or wings, the passenger could notice it and let the flight crew know immediately. "Alright then. If one of the wings comes off I'll let you know."

[@Dragon-ze6gp]

Aditya Purwanto lmao what did she say

[@Asmrfirstt]

Jack Whitehall fan here love stealing jokes

[@joshuagarnham9703]

@@Asmrfirstt “I beg your fucking pardon”

[@forgeustiss6667]

You do understand that most mechanical issues occur at take off or landing, tight? And problems with engines require early a visual confirmation to the flight deck. And don't bother mentioning the wing fell off if the plane is in the air, you will crash imminently.

[@melanieohara6941]

Michael is so refreshing! Like Jerry Seinfeld in the States, Michael is hilarious and “right on target” without resorting to foul language and verbal diarrhea. Greetings from Wyoming!🙋🏼‍♀️💞🏔🌠

[@st8fromtheho0d18]

As while he "beep beep beep's"... He's twiddling his middle fingers... Hilarious yes but not completely clean comedy....

[@chriswilliams6568]

never found Seinfeld funny at all.

[@katiedid1851]

Beats Seinfeld

[@Jade_Deja]

Sorry but please don't compare Michael to Seinfeld who is not funny at all

[@JBG-AjaxzeMedia]

@@Jade_Deja don't compare british comedians to american comedians at all lol

[@winterwitch457]

I’ve never flown anywhere nor ever been to an airport yet I still laughed my head off at this video. Michael has an uncanny ability to create such a prominent picture in my imagination that his jokes almost become relatable even if you’ve never had a similar experience. Love Michael his jokes are hilarious and he’s definitely my favourite comedian.

[@HighTen_Melanie]

_”But the plane won’t leave without us....”_

[@AbsoluteMiniacGena]

☀️ Ｓｕｎｎｙ Ｄａｙｓ ☀️ 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘩, 𝘱𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺. 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘸𝘢𝘵 𝘐𝘔𝘏𝘖

[@AbsoluteMiniacGena]

Ben Mackay Games Jealous? Of what exactly? Poor? As in cash-poor? Nup, I don’t have to work so I don’t think so! Nice try in your attempted attack on me for having an opinion. Aren’t they allowed any more? Do we all have to think the same? *Plonker!*

[@AliceMcDonagh]

Mrs Frogzilla he’s funny as hell, you obviously don’t have any humor 🙄

[@thegiantpumpkin5903]

I love Michael I think he’s a great comedian but come on guys this is just someone’s opinion let it go. Everyone is entitled to theirs.

[@hhhfff7953]

Just repeating the joke.

[@silverspoonaj6483]

I was on an escalator but this man on the stairs next to me looked at me and said I'll beat y'all and started running. He then tripped and I walked off before him

[@lauraarcher1730]

Gacha Comet 😂😂😂👍

[@ixlnxs]

Of all the things that never happened, this one didn't happen so much it unhappened things that had.

[@mrz80]

He was golden 'til he started mouthing off. Then he tripped over his need for attention. :P

[@marionthompson3365]

😂😂😂

[@Metusion]

thank goodness you were here, last time I was stuck in a locker for half an hour. LOL

[@samkaraca1337]

I can really relate to the constant checking of the passport while in the airport… Then the two seconds of panic when I’ve checked the wrong pocket… Love you Mikey Mac! 😂

[@fionamackie3357]

A constant panic when I used to travel with three kids. Forever checking the freaking passports. I did lose a kid at the airport once, but NEVER a passport😂

[@becm9537]

Bless the cameraman following Michael around 😂😂

[@Edrisal]

Rebecca Muscat ant the light handlers man 😂

[@ixlnxs]

@@Edrisal Neither of them will ever get fat as long as they work for him or Russel Kane.

[@catmom1322]

It's April 2022 & I just discovered this gem! What a gift he has!

[@bluenile1574]

The only comedian who will make the usual to be very funny. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@thetruth1733]

Who else is watching in bed on a lazy Sunday afternoon to have a laugh instead of being sad and moody

[@bugeater2763]

hell yeah

[@ciara8560]

Irish get the kids to run under the ropes to save the spot haha

[@AbsoluteAbsurd]

Lmaooo

[@ruzahel6287]

Same! (But not Irish aha)

[@CianBermingham]

That's so TRUE

[@boeinga370]

Wtf I’m Irish and as a kid I never had to do that

[@CianBermingham]

boeing A370 that's not normal

[@izzyreali9738]

Air travel is so ridiculously stressful, but he makes it seem so funny

[@georgielancaster1356]

It's just like the slowest, faff me about beyond belief, high security bus ride that has one drop off spot. And has the most in your face, officious, nastily artificially nice crew.

[@lynngilman1402]

Michael is brilliant and I want to thank him for bring laughter to my day, after suffering in the OR doing “inventory “ xo

[@shananalexander9789]

I can’t quit watching. I’m looking all the time for your comedy. So funny.

[@nicolasimcox1748]

I have been suffering with depression and watching one of Michaels videos daily makes me laugh and just for a while I forget the awful feeling I’m struggling with - I really want to get tickets to come and see you live just once

[@aaroncwilliam5562]

When he smacked the bread on the camera though 😂

[@michellebolen3892]

My husband and I are hoping to travel to the UK one day hopefully with in the next couple of years. And we have both agreed that the ONLY two things we MUST do is go see a football game of his favorite team, and our top thing COME SEE YOU IN A SHOW! These are our top two bucket list items! Number two see a football game and number one SEE MICHAEL MCINTYRE LIVE! Much love and respect and thank you so very much for the hours of laughs and enjoyment watching you on you tube and around the net. Michelle B. Maine USA

[@user-zc6mi5hx2f]

Michelle Bolen - are there any American comedians you know of that compare to Micheal McIntyre ?

[@michellebolen3892]

@@user-zc6mi5hx2f Bill Engvall has a VERY similar comedic style. He is mu second favorite comedian after Michael. Very funny and very relatable just like Michael is. If you like Michael you probably will like Bill Engvall

[@sophiekirkley4398]

completely irrelevant but which football team XD

[@user-zc6mi5hx2f]

Sophie Crazy - my guess is ‘Luton Town football club’

[@user-zc6mi5hx2f]

Michelle Bolen - billy is relatable with his comedy - but i relate to Micheal more..because I’m from where he lives in UK ..so accents are similar (easier to understnd) - with billy, He is a strong Texan accent..you have to really concentrate to understand every word of what he’s saying.

[@michaelcook2360]

Flew for first time last week. So thought I’d go through KZbin and search for airport bits now that I can relate 😂😂

[@missgunst4152]

The blinds have to be up, because of one simple reason: if there is an accident, the next new in the front see different things when they look outside. So a burning engine can’t be seen from the first row, but from the windows above the engine. And to make it easy, it’s limited to everyone to open these blinds for start and landing. Just for info T.

[@leschase1824]

Also, so the fire service can see inside to see what is happening in case of an emergency should there be a cabin fire.

[@ruzahel6287]

He’s like those childhood storytellers only with funnier stories. I love it. It’s wholesome.

[@ilovesuisse1]

This is the second time i’ve watched this and i still laughed like mad. Michael McIntyre is just great.

[@JoeBleasdaleReal]

The best rope system is at Copenhagen Airport: it goes through THREE DIFFERENT ROOMS! And it all loops round in a way that makes you feel like you’ve solved one of those puzzle book mazes as a kid 😂

[@MrErnestRigby]

Well Michael, it takes a lot to bring tears to my eyes but this one did it. Well done and very funny. You get better and better as you go on. Thank you for making me laugh.

[@lolabrini3758]

he might be the most adorably funny comedian. Def top 3. And always CLEAN JOKES.

[@ashleyvalkoss2130]

My family has done that, his American impression, this was totally relatable! 🤣

[@conservativeeducator3696]

From personal experience... the plane WILL leave without you!🤣🤣

[@Triss_Joy]

Yup, 100% can confirm: Americans yeehaw right over that s***.😂

[@lunarcorpse]

I don't. I go through the whole thing.

[@brynnabeloved]

Somehow I do it the British way. I'm from Michigan.

[@krissy20634]

I lived in texas and now Maryland, usa. I walk the whole thing. If anything I am getting to the age where that is the only option. I cant get my leg up that far safely and if I go under I cant get back up

[@toberkhalid7133]

@@krissy20634 what are you kris YOUNG. JK

[@krissy20634]

@@toberkhalid7133 if I have lots of time I will follow the ropes, if not I skip

[@patrickjinks]

Best joke was 32B isn't even a window seat

[@cbfedge5593]

I realised this lol

[@magellanic3614]

He wasn't sitting in a window seat

[@matthewhigson1232]

@@magellanic3614 he was sat in seat D

[@DarkCreed]

2:11 That is me with everything. Wallet, car keys, loose change.

[@finlaygemson3772]

Then I go shit forgot the mask

[@willbridge3433]

That feeling when you're in 3rd or 4th place in the race of the travelator and you get to the baggage collection and everyone in front of you has to wait for their bag to crawl round the conveyor but you walk straight past with a smug smile, a sense of victory and a medium-sized carry-on backpack.

[@tottenhamtillidie5102]

Ive watched this about 10 times and it keeps getting better

[@iynur]

Geeeez he’s such a genius. I’m a Chinese, despite different cultures, I can relate almost everything in his jokes, it’s smth global, it’s human nature haha. He’s so observant!!!I can literally see me in all his jokes haha. Telling from the way I handle the rope system, I’m half British half American and from time to time give a Canadian type of sorry when Americans yeehah in my way😂😂😂

[@CMTHFAF]

Tall American here, and yep, I’m guilty of the “Yee Haw”

[@mrz80]

I was late getting to an airport once back when I was young and healthy enough to pull stunts like this, and did the OJ Simpson thing, running pell-mell thru the concourse, hurdling obstacles, all while lugging a carryon AND an acoustic guitar to be hand-checked at the gate. Made it to the gate with maybe a minute to spare before departure time only to find out bad weather in Atlanta had delayed the flight I was going to be getting on for an hour or more. OY.

[@Nick_C1997]

I'm British and this is how I handle the rope system, I alternate between hurdling one rope and ducking under another

[@earlgrey6736]

you maverick!

[@mrz80]

Over one and under the next? Are you perhaps a weaver? :D

[@Nick_C1997]

@@mrz80 No, I just like patterns

[@prinsazz8683]

Lol the reclining made me crack up. 🤣 I ended up with my leg in a brace for 4 months because of a rude recliner lol.

[@n.m.8728]

Reclining the seat all at once is like backing your car out of the parking space without even looking back.

[@mrz80]

When the person in front of me starts to do that, I reposition my legs so that they'll hit my knees about halfway thru the seatback's travel. They think they've hit the limit and stop. I set my legs back down and I've still get some legroom. Just one of many coping strategies they never mentioned I'd need when I was in high school. :D

[@redrain4477]

My wife and saw him at the O2 , great night out lots of laughter MM is good for your soul .

[@joseftsubas2240]

Feels great hearing those advises a day before my flight, let the race begins!!

[@hildasnails5961]

Icelanders do the same as British people with the ropes😂

[@eb7446]

I'm Canadian and same. I don't know, maybe if I was tall enough to just walk over the ropes I'd have considered it...but, no.

[@notjustanotherguy739]

Hahaha, I think it's a north-west european thing, I just wrote a comment about Sweden, lmao XDDD It's such a relief going to for example Spain and just relaxing in the chaos of spontaneous people.

[@hildasnails5961]

@@notjustanotherguy739 är du svensk?

[@prettyinpinky5937]

South African’s too

[@BRQFilms]

i'm not from europe or africa and i do the same. i can recollect going through an empty ropes in zig zags lol, but my nationality doesn't have a certain way of going with it i think

[@kiwi_kini]

There’s a completion Of Michaels best joke everything. This man can joke about any subject

[@lewisrennison8736]

Saw him live in Auckland at Spark Arena and he’s so funny.

[@meganeloise8189]

Non moving floor + heelies + hold on to the moving handrail = winner

[@Amy-uf3oj]

I’ve kind of been the elderly in the back of the buggy...I was the passenger in a wheelchair after being escorted off the plane by paramedics 😂 Also, does anyone think of Shrek when going through the ropes?

[@koalabear2752]

The blinds have to be up so that if something goes wrong in take-off or landing and the plane falls back down, then when you get outside you are still used to daylight and can escape quickly... Rescuers also need to look inside to see who is dead and who's alive so they can save them...

[@tilez273]

It also makes it easier for pilots to look quickly or flight attendants if something fucks up on the wing or engine because in an emergency during decent or ascent needs to be diagnosed quick because it is the most deadly time

[@mrz80]

That's the first time I've heard a semi-reasonable explanation put forth for the window shade rule.

[@euaneill5920]

Michael McIntyre is a god amongst men!

[@londontravellers22]

I sent this to my cabin crew best friend. She said this is so spot on.

[@SceneArtisan]

"If God wanted us to fly, he'd have bought the ticket".

[@mrz80]

(*looks at the cross*) 's kinda what He did ;)

[@joannedelacruz5603]

I watched this clip several times and I’m still laughing out loud every time ..🤣🤣🤣

[@Mese0609]

The blinds actually have to go up so that the passengers can let the flight attendants know if there is a wing/engine fire 🔥

[@konstantinostryfonos4266]

Hilarious as always but just for the people wondering about the blind situation, in case of an emergency the flight attendants need to be able to see outside in order to be able to evacuate the plane safely since most accidents happen during take off and landing. (i assune vice versa for emergency services sight in the inside)

[@PaulaJoW]

Laughing until I'm crying. Hilarious!!

[@lifewuzonceezr]

When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time To Go Home..- Erma Bombeck

[@carole2799]

I needed that laughter!! Brilliant!!!

[@simeonbalog2741]

This is the most relatable comedian that takls about every day situations.

[@spanz21]

Finally going to see him. He’s coming to NEW YORK. 🙌🏻

[@jasminesando8227]

and us Australians we try sprinting through the ropes to see who can get around the corners quickest.

[@userhFDR7PBw]

You make me so happy!

[@tiveyhouse]

The passport one is really funny. I am always delegated to keep all the passports, I hold the responsibility LOL. And yes I check every 2 minutes.

[@vanillapiper9063]

The American impersonation is completely accurate, I can’t think of any one here who doesn’t end their sentence with “yeehaw”

[@johnnybelinda8539]

hahaha can't wait for one about baggage claim

[@helengorton894]

So agree!!! Bravo light-man!!! Spectacular job!!!

[@andrewyuzgin2254]

Micheal McIntyre is basically the Middle Class hero

[@shendrew]

LEGEND. Absolute legend!

[@guelisworld]

07:24 "Because right next to the moving floor is a non-moving floor option...which I think we can just call floor." 😂❤️

[@starcharx9139]

when he started to talk about the blinds i lost it 😂

[@annebiebrich9155]

You are so funny! I laugh till I cry!

[@umairusman]

Americans go YYYEEEHHHAW! ..what was that lol

[@50ishsue]

He's completely correct in everything he says ! 🤭💖

[@micheleb1158]

He is incredibly right about everything he says 😂

[@maryherring4261]

I love his voice. So expressive

[@cheryllemme9332]

I am American. We bypass rope, walk right to counter!

[@reecen819]

🤣 the moving floor🤣 I don’t care if it’s going at 100 mph, I can and I will beat it by walking

[@aurora_2754]

You make me laugh every time Michael ❤️😘😂

[@julietteashmore4831]

The blinds on the plane 🤣🤣🤣👌

[@James-vx9ri]

Never fails to make me laugh 😂

[@timsamanthony]

That rope system for British people is spot on 😂😂

[@daisy6545]

Kids will try to go under when no ones there but for some reasons parents still go “NO WE CANT DO THAT THATS BAD”

[@siobhanperks9547]

Love him can’t wait to finally see him on stage in may

[@sarahstrong7174]

Thankyou. This has made me laugh & cheered me up which was much needed.

[@maryherring4261]

He is SO funny. Would love to see his "hanky panky" skit again as performed on the Graham Norton show. He has become my favorite comedian.

[@Jerry.anthony.c]

0:53 - 😂😂😂😂 This is soooo meeee!!! Lmaooo

[@SupremeColgate]

the passport part gave me anxiety

[@thetruth1733]

The passport joke hits home. I once left my small man bag carrying all the family passports in the car and travelled to the airport. I thought the holiday was over but luckily the car park sent them on the bus. Since then every holiday I never take my bag off and check every minute

[@JaneDoe-ci3gj]

Non moving floor option😂😂😂👍👍👍