Complex PTSD & Trauma #61

Audience questions for episode #61
1. I’m kind of struggling to accept my sexuality. I know that I am only attracted to women but I still have a hard time to allow myself to be okay with it. I struggle with social anxiety...
2. I find it super problematic when people use words from the mental health field for everyday things. I can't think of a specific incident, but I mean things like...
3. A friend of mine with whom I was really close, decided to stop talking to me out of the blue. Like, one day we were talking about uni and everything was fine (at least I thought it was ...
4. Can you please talk about Complex PTSD and Chronic Trauma? My therapist recently told me I have both of these and it's really scary! Is the "chronic trauma"...
5. How do I remember things that are helpful for me? I feel like my brain just turns off when I think about things I can do for my mental health. With KZbin videos I can recognize things that I relate to...
6. Is it possible to recognize the beginnings of an eating disorder in yourself? I’ve noticed myself eating as little as possible and taking long walks (even at odd hours) to burn off most if not all of what I ate. I’ve also tried to purge but haven’t been able...
7. How do you deal with going to therapy and subsequently coming to the realization that things are actually a lot worse than you make them out to be? I started therapy about three months ago, and I thought that I would be working through anxiety and mild depression. But...
8. Do you have any advice for people who have "fallen off the wagon" in terms of mental health management and self-care? I struggle with depression and about a year ago finally found a way of coping and feeling "normal" through...
9. How do I deal with existential thoughts/depression brought on by isolation and trauma in my childhood? I feel impossibly alone in this, and no one I share my...
10. Could you talk more about nightmares connected to trauma? I'm diagnosed with c-ptsd and I have a lot of nightmares (when I was in high school I had them so often I was scared of sleeping and would sometimes sleep on a mattress in my parents' room), but they're not obvious flashback nightmares. Still...
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[@nisafinnegan]

*Timestamps:* 2:12 I’m kind of struggling to accept my sexuality. I know that I am only attracted to women but I still have a hard time to allow myself to be okay with it. I struggle with social anxiety... 8:26 I find it super problematic when people use words from the mental health field for everyday things. I can't think of a specific incident, but I mean things like... 14:39 A friend of mine with whom I was really close, decided to stop talking to me out of the blue. Like, one day we were talking about uni and everything was fine (at least I thought it was ... 23:05 Can you please talk about Complex PTSD and Chronic Trauma? My therapist recently told me I have both of these and it's really scary! Is the "chronic trauma"... 29:06 How do I remember things that are helpful for me? I feel like my brain just turns off when I think about things I can do for my mental health. With KZbin videos I can recognize things that I relate to... 36:16 Is it possible to recognize the beginnings of an eating disorder in yourself? I’ve noticed myself eating as little as possible and taking long walks (even at odd hours) to burn off most if not all of what I ate. I’ve also tried to purge but haven’t been able... 47:52 How do you deal with going to therapy and subsequently coming to the realization that things are actually a lot worse than you make them out to be? I started therapy about three months ago, and I thought that I would be working through anxiety and mild depression. But... 59:30 Do you have any advice for people who have "fallen off the wagon" in terms of mental health management and self-care? I struggle with depression and about a year ago finally found a way of coping and feeling "normal" through... 1:05:41 How do I deal with existential thoughts/depression brought on by isolation and trauma in my childhood? I feel impossibly alone in this, and no one I share my... 1:08:36 Could you talk more about nightmares connected to trauma? I'm diagnosed with c-ptsd and I have a lot of nightmares (when I was in high school I had them so often I was scared of sleeping and would sometimes sleep on a mattress in my parents' room), but they're not obvious flashback nightmares. Still...

[@randombro3013]

That's really helpful, thank you😊

[@mimibelta259]

Where are the rest of the time stamps they aren’t popping up for me

[@Katimorton]

Thnaks Nisa! :) :)

[@raywood8187]

@@mimibelta259 Do see the Read More under it?

[@timtreefrog9646]

Thanks Nina. You are awesome always getting these time stamps in here xx

[@thought_bug]

"the DSM is kind of a loser"

[@SavedbyGod_]

‘Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes’ Yess Kati, louder for those at the back! 🙌🏻😂

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Who gave a thumbs down to this video?! Seriously? LOL. "I hate getting free mental health advice/help! The hell with this woman!" Some people give a thumbs down to the oddest things. Kati, I love you! You are freaking amazing.

[@SuperTed.]

Its youtube bots mostly.

[@Katimorton]

Hey there! If you enjoy today's episode, please consider forwarding it to someone else. When you share the podcast, you really help! Thanks for being here!! :)

[@julissaparra1638]

I heard in another video/s you mentioning to leave a review, where can I leave one?

[@arianajuni]

Thank YOU for being here even though you're moving!! 💕

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati I always enjoy and watch these podcasts you are my favourite channel and only therapist I watch you calm my mind I always need your podcast s your advice x

[@OTDM]

Hey there! Apple Podcasts is the place to leave reviews :)

[@10thazure]

@@OTDM thanks for the info! I’ve noticed that your latest AKA is not on Apple Podcasts. Will you be uploading to YT exclusively or is it just a glitch on my app?

[@christym.6529]

We appreciate you doubling up & doing these while moving.

[@huddlespith]

I’m autistic and I loved your video the other day on autism, and seeing you catching yourself during this episode and showing that you are trying is making me so incredibly happy! I wish more people realised that we care far more about you trying than you “getting it right”! Thank you so much Kati, it so unbelievably appreciated!

[@Prisoner4011]

27 and the pretty much the same: 7 years of depression and social anxiety and no intimate relationship. I hear you, girl who asked the first question. And thanks, Kati! We really needed to be reminded of this useful step!

[@dezyluvbug]

I also have CPTSD and I just wanted to add that nightmares are normal. My nightmares stem back from before I was in school. They usually have the same story line or take place in my childhood home. Either way I always wake up feeling scared or that my life is in danger. I sometimes struggle to go back to sleep as a result. I am 31 now and I have noticed that when things become stressful or too hectic in life my nightmares are more frequent. Meditation at night, journaling and holding healthy boundaries keep me at a tolerable state. I wish you the best of luck and know you are not alone.

[@neurodimensions7509]

I relate a lot to the Autistic person’s question. Beginning the time around my adult diagnosis, autism and mental health have basically become a special interest. I find it soothing to immerse myself in information and thoughts about it. It’s especially hard to find something else to do during quarantine because I don’t really have many other outlets.

[@neurodimensions7509]

I’m basically completely consumed by my own journey with my identity and mental health. I tried to go to therapy, but I didn’t really feel heard whenever I tried to open up.

[@williebarker5986]

@@neurodimensions7509 sounds like I should be asking you for recommendations on sources you’ve found most helpful thru your researching... Can I ask, do you write/ journal etc? Also,, maybe a different therapist?

[@neurodimensions7509]

@@williebarker5986 Yeah it can be hard to find a therapist that really understands the Autistic experience, especially since it’s so unique to each person! Some of my favorite resources are channels where people share their personal experiences with autism or adult diagnosis. I would recommend Purple Ella, Yo Sandy Sam, Chloe Hayden, Stephany Bethany, NeuroDivergent Rebel, Indy Andy, The Life Autistic, or Autmazing. All these creators are different but I like all their perspectives!

[@camilleskovell1884]

Other (late diagnosed) autistic adult voices I found extremely helpful when I was pursuing my late (27 yo) diagnosis: - Yo Samdy Sam - Invisible i - Aspergers from the inside

[@SavedbyGod_]

I had similar experiences with nightmares/flashbacks as a result of CPTSD & past trauma. My therapist got me to touch something, for example like a bed side table, curtains ect (something in my room) as soon as I awoke in a panic to ground me & remind me I’m safe and assure me of where I am. Really worked for me, hope that helps someone else!

[@rebeccaperkalis332]

Great technique!

[@danieldini8685]

8:34 Yess i hate it when ppl say things like hyper-fixate when they’re neurotypical and are just focusing on something. Or when ppl say disassociate when they’re simply daydreaming.

[@user-ep8bk5ku6g]

Thank you so much for your response to my question about that friend who ghosted me. ♡ it really helped me.

[@Malin987]

Kati, you're such a beautiful human being, working so hard. I've watched you're videos since probably 2014, and your moral, ethics and general persona always makes me want to look at your videos when i'm in need of some answer og comfort. Don't stop what you are doing - your videoes has a great impact on people all over the world. Sorry about the spelling mistakes, I am from Norway. I have recommended your videoes to a lot of my friends. Thank you for what you do

[@katherinemnusa]

❤️‍🩹

[@tinilotte2398]

Kati you truly are an inspiration. I can’t tell you how much your podcasts and videos are helping me become a better version of myself. The content you put out is so very important. If there where more people like you, the world would be a better place. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for all that you do! ❤️

[@arwaalghamdi4379]

1000000%%%

[@SpinitAloha]

Thank you, this really helped me feel not so crazy. I learned I have Complex PTSD and I'm really working on healing. Its very challenging right now, trying to get through the depression. Thanks for helping me feel like I'm not alone.

[@YaGotdamBoi]

I’m newly diagnosed with ASD, and I super relate to the person who said they were just diagnosed, wanting to spend a ton of time researching what it all means, along with being queer and having trauma, it sounds so much like my own experience with all of those things. I wish them the very best, you got this! Your brain is epic, my pal!

[@boblevey]

I can’t believe people get upset with you for not answering their questions don’t they realize you do this on your own time and at no cost to them! Blessings

[@charliemullin5166]

I get the nightmares too, I'm undiagnosed, but I have ptsd symptoms, I don't wake up in a cold sweat though, I just wake up normally, but I feel panicked. Like my flashbacks though, people wouldn't necessarily know it happened

[@Zarouge]

Them: I'm so stressed I could pull my hair out! Me, who actually does pull my hair out: 😑

[@_maia_m]

Thank you so much for replying to my question about nightmares! It helped me a lot! I've always been unsure about this, because when googleing ptsd, usually everywhere they just say that the nightmares are reliving the trauma, but I haven't ever had dreams directly about my experiences. Still, my condition finally made sense to me when I found out that my nightmares could actually be a symptom. They are intense, and I wake up kicking and screaming. My husband obviously wakes from this (sometimes I kick or hit him, poor guy), and he helps me wake up completely. One recurring dream is about all of a sudden being attacked by something, and my therapist thinks these are connected to my fear of my mother's explosive and unpredictable anger and hurting comments. I also have a lot of dreams about sexual abuse, but not exactly what happened to me.

[@lordodo4851]

Same! I no longer have nightmares, which makes me question if I really have PTSD. I used to get them a lot as a child, though. They were always about ghosts and demons and terrifying things happening in our house. (My sister died of cancer and my parents were not parenting me, which I think explains that.) I'm still scared when I'm alone at night, like a child - I think there are monsters under the bed and stuff. A lot of my fears might be similarly "trauma-adjacent" :) Thanks for asking the question!

[@hopededrick9993]

Thank you for answering my question! I feel so validated. ☺️

[@WilliamSmith-iz2kl]

You are very intelligent, and informed. Thank you.

[@hayleymyovich5708]

So happy this popped up on my feed. I haven’t watched you in a long time, I needed this.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Thank you do much for these videos! Wishing you the Best!!

[@tanhuang_nua]

Thank you so much Kati for this podcast, I've learned a lot from it and can't tell you enough how much I'm thankful for it! P.S. sometimes I wish it was taught at schools like that 📚🥰🤍

[@variansloth]

Very useful ideas I've noted down, and then suddenly broke out into tears about your comment at eating disorders taking wonderful people and won't stand for it. just wow didn't expect that or knew needed to hear it but thank you so much

[@Nik-Nak2007]

Your answer to the eating disorder question is why I love you and wish you were my therapist! Ty for being so real! It's nice to see a therapist who isn't stuck up or so damn "professional" that you come off as better than us as the patient 💜

[@timtreefrog9646]

I love it when she calls them “sneaky mofos”. I see a cartoon character in a little disguise snooping around. Ha ha

[@Nik-Nak2007]

@@timtreefrog9646 right 😆 she is great!

[@TheHuber26]

Can’t sleep and then this pops up. Yay!! Love a good Kati distraction!!!!

[@pixygiggles]

This was super helpful. Thank you, Kati.

[@emilyjane6252]

That is tough of your life situation to moving that is a lot of to deal with. Your doing a great job, thanks for everything you do!!

[@noradiehl5395]

Thank you so much!!

[@fivelights907]

I had the VA deny my PTSD claim because after 3 consecutive 2003- 2006 deployments to Iraq as part of a Trauma 1 Unit (Prolonged exposure to death, and the most brutal trauma I have ever witnessed) I developed PTSD. As I was unable to verify 1 single event that qualified as “Traumatic enough” I was denied my claim. I do receive mental health care and support but my diagnosis is officially depression.

[@SisterAudreyReagan]

I love this lady so much 😊

[@_maia_m]

Wow, it's incredible for me to hear that even in a huge city like Los Angeles, there were not enough people or institutions who fully understood and properly treated eating disorders. I thought that was a problem in small countries like Norway. I hope it's improved over the last ten years! Also, I recently listened to a podcast that I'd recommend. It's called Maintenance Phase, and at March 30 it was about eating disorders, specifically in overwheight people, how common that is and special problems they meet when trying to get help. It was very interesting and enlightening! It might be triggering to some, and there was a trigger warning at the beginning, but the people are very considerate and compassionate and care a lot about the subject.

[@jenniferhibbert4576]

Ok. I can’t picture my future AT ALL! I never have been able to. I just go through my day dealing with what comes up. The first time someone asked me where I saw myself in the next five years I went completely blank and then pictured only blackness. I knew that when I said I don’t know I just felt a sense of dread because that couldn’t be what anyone wanted to hear. So i went home and tried to picture a possible future for myself over and over and I just can’t do it. What is wrong with me. I’ve always been very aimless in life no real direction. Went to college several times and dropped out several times. Finally, in my late 30’s I finished college and got a career but even in my career I just kinda go with the flow. An opportunity was brought up to me about starting to be mentored into a bigger leadership and educational side of my career. They talked about a process and taking 2-3 years and eventually taking over the program when the current head retires. To me this sounds impossible and I the only certainty I see is this won’t happen because I will mess it up somehow and I cannot picture myself doing anything like that. What is wrong with me? Do people acts have a vague sense of their future and why am I incapable of it? Seriously, getting my outfit ready for the next day is as far as I can imagine. Just really frustrated with my brain today. J

[@carmenwiseman6416]

Thank you so much ,help me so much❤️

[@arwaalghamdi4379]

We love you Kati ❤️

[@nikkimckay860]

Good question s and of course kati s good helpful advice answer s. I'm always learning and finding out about other mental health problems. and there symptoms I'm always waiting for new video new podcast s I look forward to them and I need them. I always struggle with my depression on and off though every day and week lastly congratulations kati on moving soon to a new home new place

[@eleni7546]

Best podcast ever

[@christina1050]

Hi Kati! Thank you so much for making this podcast, it’s such a helpful resource! Five years ago I started to restrict my food intake. I had better and worse times but the last few weeks are pretty tough again. I’ve recognized that I rarely have a feeling of hunger. Often I don’t feel any difference between before and after eating something. I am scared that if I tell people NOW that I‘m struggling with food since five years that they don’t take me seriously since I lived for such a long time without telling anybody. At the same time I‘m ashamed of myself that I never told anybody but I just got used to that lifestyle of „earning my meals by doing work for school and university before“. Any advice? Thank you in advance!💕

[@heatherr6562]

I love your giraffe shirt! Super cute!

[@ericacamp7353]

The nightmare question was spot on for me.

[@amandamenzel2210]

Hi Katie! My whole life (well 10 years or so, I’m 25) I’ve been dealing with completely random outbursts. It’s hard to explain but it’s as if something sets me off, and there’s no stopping it from there. This ends up spiraling into what feels like a panic attack and it’s really hard to come back and calm down in these moments. It can be totally random. I’ll be in an okay mood all day, and then something just off balances the scale almost. Any advice on how to “thought stop” or catch these triggers from the beginning? Thank you for all you do, your podcast is so so helpful.

[@starlingswallow]

I'm moving/unpacking now and this video just popped up! 😂❤

[@nikkimckay860]

Evening everyone hope your well and coping the best you can with that ever Mental health problems you have hope your able to get the help and support you need x

[@Flyingrabbit2222]

"The Body Keeps Score" should be the bible for anyone with prolonged neglect or abuse in early childhood.My earliest memories of being afraid of my mother start in Kindergarten when I fell off a swing and badly bruised my leg. I immediately hid the injury rather than cry. I was terrified of my mother finding out....but I had no memory of why I was afraid of her. I am in my 70's and have had a long time to think about all of this. I have come to believe that in cases like mine, the abuse starts in the womb. When a mother is seriously dis regulated emotionally, the fetus is bathed in the chemicals of those emotions. When you come out of the womb after 9 months of being bathed in anxiety hormones, "normal" is missing at a very deep level and aren't going to be taught it at the breast of your tormentor.

[@a.o.9594]

This question relates to question. What if we switch the rolls? I still have troubles reaching out to my friends that I was close with before my suicide attempt. It has been about 2years I have been doing a lot better, but I still feel embarrassed going to them over this time, because these were people I really respect and looked up to. With that said I am honestly scared of there reaction.

[@christina1050]

Hi Kati! Could you talk about burnout in the next episode? I have the feeling that you can only suffer from burnout at a certain age. I‘m 20 and studying at university. I barely had free time the last one and a half years. As soon as I do something else than studying I‘m getting nervous, my sleeping schedule literally does not exist and in the morning I just can’t crawl out of bed because I‘m just so exhausted of my daily life. At the same time I‘m only 20 years old and I‘m already overwhelmed with life… any advice? PS: I love your videos! They help me so much!! Keep going like this please😍

[@user-oz2ic8om7u]

did you get those velvet curtains second hand, coz I'm sure those are my old ones from my flat in scotland. there were 4 that fully survived the fire, but one set got a mark on them from where the TV went up, 6 curtains in total

[@WilliamSmith-iz2kl]

Thank you for being here for everyone. I hope you have had a wonderful move.

[@MrsShoplifter]

Hi Kati... I've been following along for a while and I enjoy spending time here. To the point! I'm 58 (any other silver haired vixens around?) and have struggled my entire life. I ended up in the psych ward, late 2019... up until now I have really not received anything remotely close to a diagnosis: depression/anxiety/eating disorder behaviour/hyper sensitivity/socially awkward, YES! But... since throwing myself head-first into the field of mental health, I'm realising that all these are mere symptoms of something underlying. I have finally, after 25+ years of therapy/medication etc., found a therapist who is finely attuned with hyper sensitivity, which was obviously a huge highlight in my life. Friends are sick of hearing me going on about what I MIGHT be dealing with... One of them asked if it isn't possible that I'm just a bit of a hypochondriac?! *sigh*... I can't say for certain why I want /need a diagnosis but I'm hoping it will allow me to stop being obsessed with finding out what's "wrong with me". I feel like my symptoms (and there are many more than what I mentioned above) overlap all over the place, with many different disorders... ADHD often sounds very plausible! Seen as I can't remember most of my childhood/teen years ,and even beyond (and this isn't just a side effect of menopause although, I'm aware of the role oestrogen plays in the brain - working on that one too!)... I've always had foggy memory at the best of times. This leads me to question CPTSD... See? How do you even determine which direction to go in when asking for diagnostic testing? It seems to me that you could spend years trying to figure things out... I'm getting old(er) and I don't have another 25 years left.

[@MrsShoplifter]

Autism??? Masking... stimming... Check on both.... I mean, where am I at???

[@maryandrews9160]

also, executive functioning issues can cause you to forget things and then remember them later. I have Spina Bifida and it happens a lot. Reminders are helpful

[@HayleyRobinsonhale]

Why do some people remember every detail to a trauma and other have missing pieces?

[@rsgreen30]

depends on your brain, your age, the way the trauma occurred, how your brain encoded it, what it felt it needed to do to protect you. There are So many variables. I have CPTSD, and there are some memories I have SO horribly clearly, and then there are others from even the same point in time that are just a fragment. It is frustrating because I want to know. Maybe someday I will. Maybe I don't need to (which is scary in its own right as well)

[@katherinemnusa]

I have chronic trauma…I get hurt so easy and I hate it..I hate myself because I’m so weak in that area of my Childhood PTSD

[@nettle8605]

I believe dreams (including nightmares) are emotional flashbacks with a hallucinogenic twist. I personally have BPD and a history of complex trauma. I tend to have vivid nightmares centering around violence and murder. They’re not specific flashbacks, but the emotions they evoke are identical to the ones I experienced during traumatic episodes (eg. fear, terror, anger, helplessness, sympathy etc.)

[@Nik-Nak2007]

I have a question 🤔 so I have cptsd/trauma, bpd, bipolar 2, and a few anxiety disorders and I have nightmares and vivid dreams and my therapist was asking me to start a dream journal but when I wake up in a panic as fast as I wake up in a panic from the dream it's just gone! The feelings from the dream stick with me all day tho. She said to write down how the dreams make me feel but I can't put the feelings into words. Why can't I remember the dreams yet they are so scary and traumatic and why do the feelings stay with me but yet I can't come up with the words for the feelings I have 😩

[@Authentistic-ism]

LOL where did you get "So sue me!" from? I used to say that as a little girl when I didn't even understand what it meant.

[@DrummerGrrrl]

You hear it all the time in 80's tv shows and movies. Kati is a child of the 80's, that's probably where she picked that up. It's so cute when Kati gets "tough funny".

[@piamuran3557]

#6...question so I have osdd (diagnosed at 57 last year) and some body dysphoria, I never weigh and I feel quite slim but I know the body is really overweight even though I exercise regularly...could this be considered an eating disorder?

[@elizabethfrootloop7814]

Comment on doing our own diagnostics… I went to a gender clinic to begin transition after years of gender dysphoria. They did a bunch of standard bloodwork and let me see the results of the tests… but didn’t have time for a while to talk with me about it. In that time my anxiety got the better of me, I believed I was very physically sick, and I did not calm down until I saw my PCP for a regular checkin. That was a good thing, I had been putting it off. But anyway… I learned exactly what you said… anyone can look at diagnostic tools and tallys, but interpreting it requires experience and context. I learned to NOT feed the hypochondriac.

[@emilyjane6252]

Wow that is tough!!!

[@morena6717]

About question n. 2, it's happening right now with my brother. He recently helped me with a matter and reached out for help when he was struggling, but every time he goes through a tough time, he starts ghosting me out of nowhere; like the day before we texted the whole day and then suddenly nothing for a week or more even if I send him a message every day. I told him that he hurts me every time he doesn't reply and that if he's not feeling it, he can just say it and I will stop bothering him and wait for him to feel better but he still won't reply to me. I know he cares and I don't want to cut ties (I did with my father). I also want to be there for him when he neede but this hot/cold relationship really hurts. I'll try to journal about it and come up with an answer...

[@katherinemnusa]

I hope you’re happy… married 50 years and I want to leave and my three sons don’t care when they say hurtful stuff is shooting into my chest, I am 71 and want to be unavailable

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Wow. Kati, when you started talking about eating disorders I started getting really antsy. I thought it was because I'm high on a medicinal marijuana edible but no, I started feeling really anxious and wanted to stop the video. I felt panic and my heart rate sped up. You said an eating disorder is a coping mechanism for some hidden trauma. I am addicted to sugar. My parents were both addicted to cigarettes and booze. Is a sugar addiction considered an eating disorder? I have some amazing psychological insights when I'm high...IF I allow myself to think about my mental health.

[@katherinemnusa]

Love your shirt 👚

[@WilliamSmith-iz2kl]

What is your advice on depression due to loss of the ones you love. I have a large problem with the loss of loved ones, and it is hard for me to work past that.

[@mariemusat5218]

#KatiFAQ Hi Kati, about 4 years ago I was diagnosed with anorexia however eventually recovered (physically) and slowly stopped therapy overall. But the thing is, the therapy I was in was not all that helpful and since then I have had 2 relapses (but got caught in both before it got too bad) and am currently in a 3rd. The first time I became ill, I didn’t know but this time my motivation is that I want help, to deal with the core issue(s). but I feel unheard and not helped because I don’t appear sick. I love food and don’t want to be sick but am desperate for some proper therapy so I can live my life to the fullest. I’ve heard that people have been rejected from therapy etc. because their BMI is not classified as underweight, could you tell me whether inpatient care is available at all for healthy individuals who are anorexic? Also, do retreats/ clinics take people of a healthy weight? At the moment I feel like I have no choice but to loose weight to be noticed and cared for but I really hate it and it makes me feel awful. Thanks for everything you do. Your helping so many people. 😃

[@StaceyForguson]

Timestamp: 1:08:33 Night tremors/night terrors...this brings me to when my youngest niece had...what we thought were night tremors or night terrors, but it turned out that she was having seizures. I HOPE this is NOT the case for Question #10! And, not to scare you, but my niece had to have that part of her brain removed. Just a thought that I would mention in case anyone didn't know about this to be informed. ❤😘💋

[@ytb8361]

What does the title “opinions that don’t matter” mean?

[@natalieedelstein]

To the answer to someone using the word traumatic and it's something that is not traumatic: I agree with a lot of other mental health terms that you can choose your response and can choose not to spend time around people who are saying hurtful things in a lot of contexts, but trauma isn't one of them in my opinion. That freeze response is constantly happening to me. I want to get up and leave, but I can't because it's an autonomic dissociative response, an automatic response that I truly have no control over. I've worked so hard in therapy, and the reality is my fight flight or freeze response to trauma is a freeze and I can't leave no matter how badly I want to and how much I say to do it in my head. If you have insight on this as a follow-up, Kati, I'd appreciate that so much!!!

[@natalieedelstein]

Also, I wanted to add that the word isn't traumatizing/triggering that I find triggering, but just generally speaking about when anything or anyone triggers me and I freeze, I struggle to leave or speak or even write about it.

[@DrummerGrrrl]

I like your t-shirt.

[@diablominero]

The balanced diet is a modern creation by several agricultural industries, including the grain industry, not a real thing that really matters regardless of propaganda. Though many people would indirectly damage their mental health doing so, it's possible to stay physically healthy for decades on a diet of salted beef (including organ meats), and water. That looks nothing like a "balanced diet" but it has all the micro- and macronutrients a person needs. And needing frequent meals to feel a sensation of energy sounds a lot like relying more than one should on simple carbohydrates, so you crash after meals as soon as your pancreas wakes up. Someone at high risk for eating disorders shouldn't try an intermittent fasting carnivore diet, because it leaves very little safety margin and also would probably be hella triggering. But a mentally healthy person could stay physically healthy while doing the exact opposite of almost all the diet advice you hear, and I think that's really important to consider when deciding how confident to be about the advice we're hearing.

[@omgbeckeh]

Could you talk about how similar adhd and autism traits are to each other? Maybe particularly in girls and women? Adhd is wayy more than just feeling stupid and lazy, although those are some of my main and strongest feelings too. I also have major sensory issues, and many more that’s similar with autism. Is it possible I could have both? Or do symptoms just present similarly

[@siennaprice1351]

I’m autistic, I have CPTSD, and a physical disability that I don’t dare share publicly. I usually isolate myself from the world, because I have severe trust issues with the world, and I have this feeling that if I interact with people, they might hurt me mentally or physically. There are days where I wish I was normal in some way. I don’t mind having autism a lot of the time. But I hate CPTSD so much. I have no tolerance, no patience and absolutely 0 respect for CPTSD. And just to clarify, I do not hate anyone with CPTSD. They can’t help that they have it. I just hate the condition itself. I really do try to be positive and happy 24/7. Because underneath all the hurt and hatred, I love to laugh, smile and make jokes. I also love music! I love old memories that make me happy and smile. I do my best to mask my CPTSD.

[@katherinemnusa]

I have childhood PTSD and OMG I get sooooo Hurt so easy, I can’t help it. And lately I have had a lot of people in my immediate life that has hurt me! And it REALLY HURTS BAD!!! 💔❤️‍🩹

[@sethsims7414]

As to question 1 Dating apps are soul crushing for many men. And all my most serious attempts at relationships (not the op) ended in severe MDD. The poster might have a better result from dating apps but they aren't really a great resource for men that struggle with this. Unfortunately in my experience no one is willing to help beyond "I'm sorry you feel bad" and generic, and almost always unhelpful, advice. The advice might be true. But as you framed it tends to backfire and leads men even deeper into their despair. I don't know how to fix it though...

[@raisethebridge]

I have sometimes mild, sometimes severe agoraphobia and anthropophobia, I know that I need therapy very badly. But it’s a very distressing experience for me. My question is, if I were to watch this podcast and other such related media, and worked on my self help work books, and speak with my mom- could this suffice as therapy?

[@hgzmatt]

Ultimately you need to leave your comfort zone. Slowly but surely. You don't become the life of a party in one day.. but maybe you can manage to do shopping without feeling completely bad. Or interact with people at work / school.

[@lindaprichard5907]

time 1:00, I hate group therapy. I don’t want to listen to everyone’s stories or their suggestions. I’d rather work with a trained therapist individually.

[@katherinemnusa]

Agree

[@maimunashafiqulislam8016]

Hey Kati, can you please talk about/do a video about how to console someone whose pet cat has died. My friend's cat, Leo, recently passed away due to peeing problems, and she is devastated. Her mom became sick as she adopted Leo as a kitten when her son died. My friend is inconsolable and cannot function at university. I cannot bear to see her this way. Please help (teary teary)...

[@katherinemnusa]

❤️‍🩹

[@christopherneufelt8971]

Hi. These microphones are extremely professionals and bravo. A suggestion is to keep the microphone relatively away from the face in order to look like a normal presenter: the microphone is sensitive enough to record your speech. P.S. I came here for the talk.

[@poohbear0320]

4 couples I know and close to are all moving this year. I want to move out of my parent's house but can't afford to due to finances and a lack of a paying job. It annoys me and makes me sad that these couples can do it without a problem. I am also struggling with wondering if I should apply for disability or even if I would qualify for disability. I have a learning disability and was diagnosed with epilepsy at 15. I no longer have seizures or take medicines for seizures. However, I have a Traumatic Brain Injury that I have had since I was 3, a few days before my 4th birthday in 1988 from a dead tree falling on my head. Is there something wrong with me that I am not happy for these couples that they can afford to move when they want to? Why does it make me sad and annoyed? Would I qualify for disability? If I do qualify for disability does that mean I won't ever be able to go looking for a job with benefits? Sorry for such a long post.

[@karenconstantine334]

Can high functions cptsd 73 yo female benefit more from TALK therapy AND EMDR … my new therapist doesn’t feel all events needed to know to start EMDR ? Thoughts please Thank you Karen in WPB FL

[@hgzmatt]

Just because you get triggered doesn't mean it's the other person's fault or that they have to change anything. In an ideal world no one gets triggered, but that's impossible. Plus you don't get to control language in your favour, neither does anyone else.

[@becci-leemattiuz7254]

Hey R u from Ontario and went to Hampton heights middle school Or does anyone know if Kati is?

[@jfluter]

She’s not, but Sean is Canadian.

[@jaelynrae8836]

How do we submit a question for the podcast? ❤️

[@plumereveuse5183]

Kati makes a post every Sunday on the opinions that don't matter channel (in the community section)

[@raisethebridge]

I have a question- but I’m not sure if they are picked from the comments section or not.

[@_maia_m]

They're picked from the community-tab. She puts out a call for questions every sunday, I think at about 6 am her time zone. :)

[@raisethebridge]

@@_maia_m thank you very much!!! :)

[@YankeeRebel1348]

The EMT world is notorious for dark humor and such. We talk like that all the time

[@amyyaku5022]

I kind of understand where they are coming coming from, but jokes are jokes at the end of the day. They can be hurtful or go too far but the point of the joke is laughter or sometimes to help cope with something. Maybe its a stretch but its possible people who use those mental health terms are doing it purposely to cope with their situation. The joke might be hurtful to you but necessary for them or funny to someone else. You never know 🤷‍♀️

[@jfluter]

I’m still also kinda confused because if we don’t say anything, it’s contributing to the stigmas. Yet, if we do, we’re a bitch....damned if we do, damned if we don’t.

[@_maia_m]

I sometimes do that, though usually just around people who know about my trauma and diagnosis

[@_maia_m]

@@jfluter I know 🙁 but I also think that if people say things like that, you're not a bitch for replying in the same manner, so if it's said as a joke or sarcasticly you can reply sarcasticly. Like if they say "that's so triggering" you could say "I know right, I had that exact reaction that time when I was hospitalized" or "I know right, you know what helps me? Cutting." If you're into being sarcastic that is... 😬 I am. But another thing you can do is sharing good memes - OR you could just be a bitch and be proud of it ☺️ I don't think it's a problem that people learn that what they say and do actually affects people.

[@katherinemnusa]

I’m very organized

[@75sadiegirl]

I feel like I watched this earlier this week, which I'm sure it's impossible, oh so weird.

[@grandmastermario3695]

But you see some people you tell them or try to tell them why or what they've done wrong and either they don't listen or just make exscuses or apologize but keep on doing it my mom is exsacly like that doesn't seem to listen so those kinds of people probably do just need to be cut off with out an exsplanation they are toxic narcissistic people who you don't need in life

[@user-ek1ti3uw1x]

How do I not things so personal?

[@trevorlawrence310]

My ex wife became an alcoholic and pulled a knife on herself and can't get those memories out of my head to be able to focus at work ad be as good at my job as I used to be.

[@marycoston7613]

What do you do if someone abused you for having a babyy

[@yalew6231]

Hi Kati! Is that your channel? I know the other one. Kati, I, currently, have suicidal thoughts almost every day. In fact I had wishes of death even as a teenager boy may be because I had a very bad physically and emotionally abusive father. Now my question is does it mean that I m depressed just because I entertain suicidal thoughts? ( I mean, what if I dont have other signs of depression.) By the way, I m about to do the suicide just very soon. I m 41 now and life has been such a cumbersome for me since my childhood. I ask you this to know if I m depressed. Kati dont forget that I find your talk very helpful and logical.

[@plumereveuse5183]

Hi! It doesn't matter if you're depressed, if you feel that you could be a danger to yourself, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional or a crisis helpline. You're deserving of help, suicidal thoughts are a sign that you're suffering. You don't have to care about depression criteria, suicidal ideation in itself is something to be taken seriously

[@nyekawhitaker1083]

Cool? Cool. 😎

[@kalaodonnell2390]

People who seen be in a nightmare say I am acting out physically

[@charlesnewton7959]

Cool. You tough.

[@Wolverine-fy1tb]

:)

[@marycoston7613]

People asked me if I was pregnant