confidence is a scam btw

Patreon: patreon.com/Angelosomers
Are you fed up with hyper-productized conceptions of confidence? You tired of trying to be confident, only to trip up over yourself when you socialise? Tired of feeling small and impotent? Well, that's because nobody likes feeling social anxiety, and giant marketing conglomerates know that, so they productise the solution in saran wrap that you end up choking on; it's a scam, and it leaves you feeling worse that you did before.
"We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like." -- if this is you, no wonder you're still hyper-reactive and malleable; your psychological diet has been designed to keep you buying, not to actually solve the problem.
Confidence can not be forced or acquired by decree. It must be earned. You're always watching yourself; you know how much of your potential you're leaving on the table. Unless you're minimising the gap between who you are and who you could be, you'll never become confident.
So start with something you'd never think of doing: ditch confidence. Try to become more nervous. If you don't want to, it's for the same reason that you're not already your confident self: You're holding on to your persona, but its edges are sharp, and the harder you grasp, the more wounded you become.
Channel overview:
A few years ago, I was stuck in bed, hating the universe for subjecting me to the 'sick and twisted game of life' without my consent. I was pathetic.
It was only after I realized something very important that things began getting better... life didn't suck; I did.
In the absence of friction, my mind was conjuring its own, so life was hard, yes, but it didn't have to be. The suffering was unnecessary. After a few years of incremental progress, I'm having the time of my life. I've never been in better shape, my mind has never been sharper, I've never experienced so much happiness, and it's all rooted in a deep sense of meaning that was once absent.
I had to shake myself of lots of old beliefs and patterns to get to where I am, and I believe there are millions of other people who feel stuck and could learn from my mistakes. So that's why I'm starting this channel: to share some of the insights that formed the foundation of the psychological habitat I now occupy.
I don't know exactly how the channel will develop but I'm going to start by posting my raw ideas as that's the only thing I can consistently do at this point in time.
I hope it helps!
Socials:
Instagram: @angelo.somers
twitter: @angelo_somers

[@someonesomething9282]

Just found your channel and your words are making me question everything I've been telling myself for the past two years and I am grateful for it

[@AngeloSomers]

🫡

[@AdamEllul]

“You want people to look at you and feel small.” 🤯 that’s a paradigm shift people don’t want to understand. You my friend are going places.

[@favOriTe-v6e]

Confidence is overrated, self compassion is the real key. When I started having more self compassion instead of pretending to be confident, that's when I started actually changing my life and feeling at peace in the process

[@domeatown]

I learned that confidence was just self trust when one day, I decided I wouldn't hate people who hurt me. I would just leave. I would leave things and places that hurt me. Cut and dry. And everyone around me was like "wow you are so confident now! And you are funnier!" And blah blah blah so on and so forth. And I was so confused. I was just like "...well, no. I just have a plan for when things go wrong, and have watched myself enforce it a couple times." So, I trusted myself to do it next time, too, which took a certain layer of fear out of my life. Well, wouldn't you know it. I spent years thinking I was missing something, when instead I had to get rid of something. I think the thing is probably different for everyone what they need to get rid of. But I wasn't even trying to get confidence. It just played that way

[@slot0000]

Wow, everything you said was on point, for years I've been struggling with confidence, I always jealous of that one confident friend, always tried to put on a fake persona and chase other people's validation, to make them feel how they made me feel which ultimately lead me to become even more antisocial and insecure. The question about being worthy of confidence, all the reasons for saying no resonated with me. I finally feel like there's a genuine light in the tunnel, a direction which I can take, thank you.

[@AngeloSomers]

❤️🫡u got this bro

[@hapticshocker2986]

Just gave a girl my number today thx so much man like I was scared but I did it. Working out and reading wasn't enough so I just went for it.

[@AngeloSomers]

Legend. 🫡 slaying those dragons!

[@AngeloSomers]

Dragons meaning your fears, not the girls hahaha😂😂

[@taku6157]

@@AngeloSomers 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@BigG6179]

I am so sick of everyone copying these concepts. You are the first person to finally put a positive spin and solution on it. So many other channels are way too negative and saying to to give up.

[@askquestions1]

That idea of building self worth by not being fake is so helpful for everyone now days

[@AbdulazizAbdulaziz-q9u]

You say exactly what is on my mind in all of your videos! I have more in common with you than anyone else. Like seriously!

[@thenew4559]

You have to earn confidence, it’s not merely some personality trait you can switch on and off by thinking about it hard enough. Confidence is the result of positive feedback, which comes from actually being competent at something, whether it be socializing or a specific skill. The more positive feedback you receive, especially when we’re growing up, the more naturally confident you will be. But of course, if we repeatedly received negative feedback, especially when we were young (and especially by parents/teachers/adults), we become more likely to shut ourselves off and stop trying, making it impossible to accumulate the positive feedback needed to regain confidence.

[@michaelcras]

Your videos are helping me out so much I’m going through a pretty rough period of my life after digging myself out of a deeper one, so thank you

[@AngeloSomers]

My guy, you got this 🤝

[@michaelcras]

@@AngeloSomers appreciate that a lot man, your channel looks like you have a mil btw great work

[@Adelink_lol]

What an amazing channel; from personal experience, people have responded more positively to who I am a person, flaws and all.

[@jamesfitzgerald4764]

Holy shit dude I deal with this on such a fucked up extreme this has helped me so much YOUR THE MAN

[@itsthebookofeli]

Fire Video Angelo. I know a handful of arrogant nobodies and plenty of humble somebodies which is a blessing. I can say that the humble ones have a firm grip on community and selflessness.

[@AngeloSomers]

dudeee the book of eli is one of my favourite films from childhood holy shit i haven't heard that name in ages

[@itsthebookofeli]

@AngeloSomers goated

[@Panchooooooooooooooo]

dope vid bro

[@linima2.079]

Jordan Peterson also said something about this I believe. It had to do with not chasing “confidence” but competence instead. With competence comes a natural sort of confidence, because you know what the fuck you’re doing. But to become competent you have to face your incompetence. Like when you want to be good at talking to girls. You just have to keep doing it and face those akward interactions to become better at it. There aint some magic way to just be more competent. Found that to be an interesting take on it. Good video btw, actual useful advice!

[@vasiliasdelrey5615]

Alex Hormozi said you don't gain confidence by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by getting a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. This is just competence. I agree with what you've written there

[@Mutant_Mods]

As I have done my own introspection and self-work, I can confirm that everything you are saying is facts. Mashallah bro, you git a good channel here, keep making educational content about the true nature of life. Too many lies plague the world.

[@thyvevusion218]

Underrated channel, I know from experience you're speaking facts, hope you blow up soon

[@Kunal_W]

A masculine man is a man who doesn't question his own masculinity and doesnt use a fake personality mask to seem "cool and confident" enough As always, fire video, specially the way you bounced it back

[@Phriffo]

Honestly, hearing the word confidence being thrown out anyhow is making me hate the word.

[@yeshuacaceres9722]

Thanks for your wisdom brother!

[@tammy1598]

You’re incredibly intelligent! Thanks for this video. Made me open my eyes

[@Leon-zb7ei]

All you really need to do to become more of this or that is just to be present and aware of your emotions and thoughts in the moment. You will eventually become it because you already are what you so desperately wish for, stop thinking otherwise because that's what's blocking you. You explained this well in the video. If you try too hard to get more confident, you'll end up feeling more insecure. If you try to "glow up," you'll feel uglier. This is also in the book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. The more you chase something, the more you end up achieving the opposite.

[@Geolas88]

I think the most important part is feeling comfortable in your own skin. Being happy with who you are and that takes time, effort and a lot of soul searching and few people truly pull it off..

[@josemanuelsimons]

Man, the content is great... and the music is amazing. Thank's for the videos.

[@AngeloSomers]

Much appreciated!

[@jurassicthunder]

confidence is being able defend your vulnerability by being ok with your flaws.

[@kennydolby1379]

You have to be fully OK with feeling fear & thus not feeling confident, then you'll be truly confident... it's paradoxical but that's how it works.

[@jeffbrown-ek8bg]

Basically you are only addressing the people that use fabrication as confidence not those who actually are confident in a specific aspect of life. Because this is dead wrong, if someone starts something and invests time in anything they will certainly be more confidence as they see progress, this can be from playing the piano to becoming a champion in sports. Confidence can grow and grow in many areas, fabricated confidence cannot grow, because it was never there to begin with.

[@AngeloSomers]

You’re agreeing with me I’m saying you cant force yourself to be confident by way of making confidence the goal It’s a byproduct of those “many areas” you mentioned

[@oliverbeck6839]

The point is you should actually try to get better at something in order to feel confident, instead of trying to get more confident by faking it

[@jeffbrown-ek8bg]

@@AngeloSomers when you put it that way, sure, I am agreeing with you, however you did suggest that you cannot improve or grow your confidence and to be fair often those goals are connected with wanting to also have self-confidence. So it can be measured with your goal and desire to feel more confident in general. Obviously you are a smart guy that makes a lot of valid points that calls out the wrong things in society. And examples of those people pretending to be confident as a defense mechanism in fear of others hurting them. Anyway good on you for the effort applied and the intent of your message!

[@jeffbrown-ek8bg]

@@oliverbeck6839 yeah when you word it this way I do agree. As when Angelo replied I also agreed, however in the video, he suggest confidence doesn't exist. Then goes on to explain difference examples of confidence and why people desire the social confidence which is why it's a scam, however even if his examples were correct in where certain people are confidence and certain people are not, it does not mean confidence doesn't exist nor can you not grow it. Often the byproduct of losing weight for example can be to "build confidence" as the goal, so it can be the goal too or it can be the byproduct. Either way the main thing in life is just not to fabricate confidence in any area you are not confidence in. Because it will be exposed regardless. He still makes good points though and overall has the right message for people. I probably focused on the title a little too much oppose to the entire video.

[@AngeloSomers]

@@jeffbrown-ek8bg yeah, *you* cannot. in the video I said "not because you made your self worth increase by decree, but because of who you saw yourself become" -- you're reiterating that. also the whole 'confidence doesn't exist' thing was to highlight that it's a lack of fear, not a presence of something, that people are after

[@Cluelessish]

This channel is absolutely going to blow up.

[@Sx-xy2zi]

Love the where is my mind remix in the background

[@-CRZY-]

"caring a lot about how much you don't care about how other people perceive you" Damn

[@ThisIsMeHigh]

I've been trying to be more confident for 6 years and hardly got better. In social scenarios, I hesitate to approach people because I always feel like something's missing. I either don't think I look as good as I should, or my body language is wack, or worse, I keep fumbling my sentences all. The. Fucking. TIME. So I sit on the sideline, trying to listen to what they have to say and they seem to know a lot more about the topic than me, and when they ask for my input, I reply with 'I got nothing,' or 'I have nothing of substance to add.' And it hurts. How am I gonna be respected and admired when I come off as an idiot or a hack? It makes me want to turtle up even more. I hate it. I really really hate it. How am I supposed to accept that this is who I am when that is a shy and insecure nobody who failed at life?

[@kierannmoran]

Loving this channel, here before 1 milly

[@alanacatherine3385]

Possible reason 3 “You * are* finding evidence of unworthiness in all of the wrong places like past experiences , social hierarchy or the perceptions of others” 👏

[@whittoke]

"Best finds can win." In this sentence, all the letters used are from the original sentence "confidence is a scam btw".

[@rojcouz2267]

confidence to me is someones ability to fully accept themselves, being themselves around others. it seems from what i experienced and what i saw with my friends growth that most of their confidence came from women. my friends that are short especially, and not good looking isolated themselves and started hating themselves, but ive seen short friend and not good looking still being confident and what separeted them from others were that a girl give him a shot while we were young. there is a dynamic between girls and boys that i still do not fully understand but it seems to impact a lot someones ability to believe in himself. this is the type of confidence i think about when someone speak about social confidence. you can see that some people are really not secure in their body

[@rojcouz2267]

i am sure if you guys think about your friends in your group there is always this shy guy who is akward and lack experience with girls. watch his eveolution as soon as a girl that he likes give him a shot my friend completely changed. the way he speaks the way he dress the way he walks everything changed its insane what a girl can do to an unconfident man. also its not my friend but i know someone who is in their 30 never had a girlfriend and has severe dymorphobia he cant look at himself without crying

[@AngeloSomers]

exposure therapy is real! congrats to your friend

[@ptcosmos]

5:53 I love your channel and your audience, I'm gonna comment on ALL your videos for years until I reach your level of subscribers.

[@JoeNakamoto]

the segment at 5:20 to 5:45 is all you need to grow in confidence. Set a goal. Hit it. (OR FAIL TO HIT IT-sometimes it doesn't and didn't even matter) But crucially, you notice and observe that effort and change. Bullish on Angelo.

[@AngeloSomers]

my guy

[@lloydleife2835]

Intro tuff 😮‍💨

[@KajusViliusis-kt6bo]

some really nice ideas, good video brother

[@marvelstudios1634]

This guy is underrated 🗣️.

[@issh0]

3:07 is extremely true. I’ve caught myself thinking like this sometimes.

[@samuelhenrich2714]

This kid is going places. Subscribing

[@kennethcooper-w9n]

Lol the dancing at the beginning is funny bruh

[@carlosromanmunoz949]

Kinda funny how the solution is to realize there isn’t one except to do what is needed to grow from incompetence in a raw real manner. Because tbh the biggest challenge we face as men is meaning, with the rise of jobs bieng eliminated, most men by nature find meaning in bieng useful or working, by taking that common meaning away it can leave many mean astray and lost in finding new meaning. But if we cultivate a sense of usefulness outside of work and external environments, how can we be useful to ourselves? Be of use to others? How can I do that if my job is taken away? A sense of community:) Community and need to take care of them as meaning is very much a needed part of our existence as men and will never go away even if our modernized meaning of working is taken away.

[@Laughhipster]

Angelo, i’d like sum insight on this. I feel a bad cus i dont have a job and i rlly hate to see my sister pay for groceries all the time. Im trying to get a job and even tho im trying, i still feel bad that i dont have that job when she has to pay for groceries. Idk if this aligns with an ideal of helping loved ones out but i feel it does affect how i feel about myself not being able to. I think if i were to get the job (which im rlly close to getting 😆😆) i’ll feel better ab myself and more “confident.” For use of better term, more worthy of my own respect. What do u have to say about this, am i understanding the idea of this video. I also would like to know what u think about being yourself. I personally just be myself when i talk to anyone, girls, boss’s but that “self” alternates bc i get anxious maybe if im speaking to a manager, or i stumble a lil bit when i talk to girls that r cute cus im a lil distracted at how nice they look, but i still maintain like functionality. Even tho i stumble, i let it happen and they clearly see it, i clearly show my stumbling not on purpose, but it’s just whats happening. Not that this matters but sometimes u can see them trying not to smile and whatnot and convos flow.

[@rehgaalkane8518]

True, I got « confident » the moment I stopped caring so much about what other people think of me

[@bengtaylor]

bro you're video's hit like francis ngannou - big love

[@AngeloSomers]

hahaahha you have a way with words sir. thank you!

[@WhatTheFragrance]

Ending was brilliant

[@TimBarrett-b2u]

I found it’s better to have the “Navy Seal” Confidence instead of the social “Confidence”. If you’re competent enough in your abilities as a man, then you don’t care what other people perceive you as. Because you know that at the end of the day, you can get shit done. It’s why I think Training a Combat Sport is a *Must* for everyone (not just men).

[@LaytonObserves]

Banger intro and advice

[@AngeloSomers]

My guy

[@BlackLight-r1c]

Some real wisdom here

[@cazmakesart]

wait is that an ekkstacy song in the background my subpersonalities feel conflicted watching this video now hahaha

[@AngeloSomers]

hahaahhaha fuck. idk who ekkstacy is but i do like that song

[@DT-ht7gk]

This is so real

[@Just-chilling978]

This channel will reach 100k subscribers in under 6 months, and perhaps more, it’s just hard to deny how much the honest truth and the fact of the matter can and will attract many of those who wished to find what you are sharing

[@lucasalegria633]

Pixies song hits hard hhehehee

[@ericcartman3485]

Video chapter's to have a sense of structure would be amazing

[@AngeloSomers]

Noted :)

[@ericcartman3485]

@@AngeloSomers awesome :)

[@stako.]

peak intro

[@raxn2673]

What you essentially want to say is that you musn't forge a confident persona. I get that. But, in my definition, "making yourself more confident," particularly in social scenarios, comes with courage and self-connection. This means to dare to be socially comfortable and be who you actually are along the way. And of course, you should always work on developing your character traits, like discipline and so on, which increases your self-worth.

[@AngeloSomers]

if confident is how you want people to see you, the most courageous thing to do in a social scenario is invite your fear in the part of you that doesn't want to do this is the part of you that is holding yourself back from confidence, not the part pushing you towards it

[@WickedPawndotcom]

when u realize context is everything and u can't ever get or give 100% of the context ur left wit freedom!!! "i'll take truth if it means a chance at freedom" -me, i said that. on my song, im almost done with my album im almost done with the last song i need to do it but im scared and have a dissociative disorder called youtbe! fuck!

[@lucasalegria633]

TFFFFFF 💀 top tier intro

[@Sx-xy2zi]

Confidence is competence

[@TheoSomers]

mans got the davinci colour grade looking fire

[@notasinglesoul1179]

Wilbursoot after looksmaxing, going through the alpha male arc, and coming out wise

[@TheMindsetLegends]

Vibes at the start are it.

[@FlowingInTheGodsLoveAndGrace]

Fvck confidence! Humans must understand that all they want is God in their corrupted hearts - the real fullness! Confidence is a fuel from the matrix for the matrix not for your inner world ❤

[@zackkunkel]

This video must be confirmation bias

[@kaisapphirez]

bubblin by anderson paak in the intro 👀

[@Nikprosta]

Great video!

[@blackmirroxx]

The false self

[@mralexforbes]

Great vid

[@besiari2105]

do a video on fear

[@nousername1806]

great video, is this a take from 'the subtle art of not giving af'?

[@AngeloSomers]

no hahah, just from paying attention to my own thought processes he say something similar? that guy is dope

[@nousername1806]

@@AngeloSomers yeah he basically touches apon not having shitty values and measurements of success e.g. income status etc

[@jerricknaylor9686]

Dope intro!

[@alanacatherine3385]

Love it 👏

[@Caedrelsallyxdd]

Anderson Paak W

[@turtleanton6539]

Yeeeh🎉

[@AndrewHanson-rl9in]

Competence not confidence

[@KhayaSZ]

Confidence is capitalism.

[@raymond_sycamore]

LMAO give it ten to fifteen years and maybe going bald and we'll see how much "confidence" doesn't matter.

[@JJB1133x]

Basically, just do nothing.

[@AngeloSomers]

Not do nothing, but stop doing something counterproductive (grasping at confidence by decree)

[@JJB1133x]

@@AngeloSomers Thinking about confidence at all is counterproductive. Everything we think about is given to us by outside influences (culture). We are already complete. Everything we do is a product of being sold something by culture that we really never needed. But we bought the idea that we did.

[@mikeboland-lu8tg]

Angelo Amigo

[@LewisBritten]

Based content

[@Cjwize-144]

Confidence means self trust in German people just have no belief

[@divyv20]

Hey Angelo , very good video . I can do better editing in your videos which can help you to get more engagement in your videos . Pls lmk what do you think ?

[@joshuakohn4408]

lol Idk what that is on the left side of your neck but it almost makes it seem like you are wearing a mask lmao

[@AngeloSomers]

I am

[@mackeejack6731]

If youre broke financially, DO NOT be confident. There's absolutely no reason for a confident person to be broke.

[@Dr.SamuelHayden]

Thats not really good advice What about diogenes for example? The guy lived in a barrel without anything, and was more confident and happy that most people around him at the time, even most people today as well

[@upturn2.]

bro your channel is too sick

[@Draak_Lincoln]

what makes someone confident is if he has good looks/genetics

[@alanacatherine3385]

Until someone better looking/better genetics enters the room Relying on that doesn’t work

[@Draak_Lincoln]

@@alanacatherine3385 there’s not a solution to everything. Your confidence simply drops when that happens, deal with it

[@morheimtv5666]

Have a body-altering accident and see that confidence vanish. True confidence comes from within.

[@alanacatherine3385]

Conditional confidence carries fear

[@morheimtv5666]

@@alanacatherine3385 true, and at the same time is a byproduct of it.