Contra: Rogue Corps (Zero Punctuation)

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This week Yahtzee reviews...Contra: Rogue Corps. Oh Konami, here we are, yet again.
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[@theescapist]

GET YOUR "LIMITED EDITION" MERCH HERE ► bit.ly/2ILPbyT Ghost Recon: Breakpoint Zero Punctuation episode: www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/2019/10/16/ghost-recon-breakpoint-zero-punctuation/ Hey folks, We know a lot of you aren't getting notified when new ZP videos are available. We're aware this is partially due to the revival of the channel and adding new content that's not ZP that many are not interested in, and it may also be down to our uploading schedule as well. Since quite a few of you just want to be notified when only ZP is available, we've created an official Twitter account you can follow that will literally just be a feed for ZP videos and ZP tweets. twitter.com/ZPunctuation However, I'd also like to run a little experiment on our end to test the data. If you're willing, please ring the bell on our channel so that you're notified of the rest of our content for at least the next two weeks so that we can get some usable data to see how many people are being notified about ZP / other videos. It would really help us out a lot! If you don't want to be notified of all our content after those two weeks, feel free to shut off the bell! KZbin's notification system is incredibly spotty so the more data I have to work with, the easier it is to find out how many are missing ZP videos due to recent changes on the channel, or for other outside factors. Thanks in advance if you help us out! Nick Calandra Editor in Chief

[@LOLquendoTV]

Np Ill go along

[@hifikameli]

Honestly the non zp content has been a lot better lately, especially the 3 minute reviews. Nothing that really matches the quality that yathzee puts out, but okay none the less.

[@theescapist]

@@hifikameli Doin our best!

[@fazzle7788]

Damn it I just bought the last one

[@kafkabigmon]

Okay speaking for myself even with the bell on I dont miss things; I consciously ignore them. Not that I think content is bad I just dont care and I'm sure thats what the whole notification thing is. A subscriber does not equal one who watches all videos all the time

[@Nitrinoxus]

"Was there anything you *liked* about the game?" "The quit button."

[@Nitrinoxus]

@@kyotheman69 Yes, that.

[@michaelpearce4493]

I imagine that a following refund would be ideal

[@Nitrinoxus]

@@michaelpearce4493 Probably not worth the effort. It so rarely is, if we're being honest.

[@michaelpearce4493]

So I guess the best thing that could be done, would be not buying the game (if you can generously call it that).

[@Nitrinoxus]

@@michaelpearce4493 Yeah, that's pretty much the idea. The only way the industry will learn to stop pulling this BS is a solid right cross to their quarterly profits.

[@FUNKOfilms]

A weapon overheat function in a "Contra" game proves that Konami forgot what a Contra game is.

[@TheXLink]

Yeah, the time it took when I did not fire my weapon in the classic Contra games is less than the time the weapons overheat in this "contra" game.

[@FUNKOfilms]

@@TheXLink lol there were times you weren't firing?

[@TheXLink]

@@FUNKOfilmsHaha never said I was good at the games

[@AgroChase]

I think they forgot what video games are.

[@klasodeth]

@@FUNKOfilms Yeah, the main menu.

[@professionalhimbo]

Generic Damage: The damage done on a long standing, proud franchise by Konami when they release a game that is generic garbage.

[@ianrocco8453]

Thought they ment genrenric damage. 📚🔫

[@SgtIronbeak]

WORSE than generic garbage

[@phoenixomega3641]

@The Accidental Hipster just looking at the trailers for that, i felt like konami took a generic nuke to contra.

[@GrandElemental]

Calling this game generic garbage is an insult to generic garbage.

[@mrgabest]

'What have you got in store for this one, Ubersturmfuhrer Konami, you fucking monster?' This is immediately my favorite episode of Zero Punctuation.

[@PhilosophyTube]

strong grandmothers theme this week

[@thatfighterguy5846]

Oh wow, Philosophy Tube in the wild!

[@mollybolton1876]

Trans Rights!

[@deafweasel99]

Hello Abigail, surprised to see you round these parts

[@artemis_smith]

@@deafweasel99 ikr? This don't seem her style

[@xenasBS]

@@artemis_smith all brits are fans of eachother. If you think it's weird now you haven't seen the Graham Linehan - Philosophy Tube viewing parties.

[@crimsondynamo615]

Isn’t an overheating function in a Contra game like Mario not being able to jump because his joints ache

[@demon1103]

God, you joke but how funny would it be to see that. Mario as an old man, and trying to jump would cause his hips to shatter, so he's forced to constantly use yoshi or that big boot to move around XD

[@KoryLunaa]

Oh god I'll remember this joke 10 years down the line

[@Bandrik]

That or a Sonic game with a stamina meter that requires you to slow down. "You're too fast!" Sigh

[@Plankensen]

That Sonic game exist, i think

[@MasterCharlie104]

Bandrik The way the Sonic franchise is going I could easily see that being a possibility.

[@Beriorn]

Gun overheating is anathema to Contra. Contra needs no fire button, it needs an autofire toggle.

[@jayarby8494]

Wait until Konami brings back Dance Dance revolution as a Just Dance clone

[@chiefkeef74]

Wasn't Just Dance a DDR clone to begin with? Oh wait, that's Beatmania

[@ejicolombardi321]

@@chiefkeef74 that and ddr still exists in 2019 drr ace its called

[@BlakLite15]

If only Konami was that competent. Or interested in anything other than pachinko and slot machines.

[@michaelpalacios8951]

That is literally already a thing. It's called Dance Evolution, it was developed by Konami from the same team that produced DDR and plays 100% as you describe. The arcade cabinet even uses modified kinect hardware for motion tracking.

[@jayarby8494]

Michael Palacios Kinect? Seriously?

[@brainflash1]

First it was the Iran Contra Affair. Now it's the Japan Contra Nightmare.

[@ThrottleKitty]

@Zack Smith Google "Iran contra affair" It's an 80s thing that has nothing to do with the video game.

[@richardpreston7333]

It's that _"phwoar"_ that really sets the tone

[@sincereflowers3218]

He throw the crikey in there too. That bad 😂

[@BJWeNeedUDefendingUsWithZeMG42]

"Let's all laugh at an industry that never learns anything tee hee hee."

[@azzzanadra]

this is a really bad industry practice

[@mad87645]

Retarded moments in retarded retards

[@merrittanimation7721]

To steal a joke: Konami have done it again! Sorry, wrong emphasis Konami have done it again...

[@ghostnoodle9721]

Merritt Animation Grammar *IS* important

[@00wolfer00]

@@ghostnoodle9721 That's not grammar.

[@phoenixomega3641]

depends on if you had bets on how hard they would do it again.

[@Resters52_official]

you do realize this doesn't work in text, right?

[@XellDincht]

from which video is this quote?

[@tobiasbellman]

"It has to be daughter seduction", made me actually laugh out loud. It's been a while.

[@matthewjanzen4837]

I love the design of the quirky side-character that’s just a pillbug with emoji legs

[@holyblade12]

"man even the fucking title sounds like a grandparent falling down a staircase"-Yahtzee (2019) and i couldnt agree more

[@ChessedGamon]

Christ Yahtzee is going to struggle with his Top 5 this year.

[@havoren]

Not with his Bland and Worst list, it’s pretty damn clear that this and Left Alive are gonna be on his shit list.

[@merrittanimation7721]

@@havoren the difficulty there is that there's a lot of options.

[@havoren]

@The Accidental Hipster Yahtzee said that Left Alive is mind bogglingly bad unlike the boring kind of bad that Anthem and The Division are.

[@ricknerinfantry]

No he won't, top five worst, too five least worst, and top five least likely to make him break or devalue his equipment. It's about lowering the bar, not about meeting the standard

[@twilightvulpine]

More like Contra: Rogue Corpse eh?

[@HiroNakamuraa33]

Stop it

[@Midnight-Starfish]

You know what, I'm gonna put this joke on the fridge. Not because it was good but because of the effort you put in to make it.

[@notsae66]

Contra: Raped Corpse more like.

[@nannerdunlocke1231]

Konami is a Rogue Corpse...

[@TechnicolorMammoth]

Not even a minute in and I'm already cackling like a crazy person. Yahtzee absolutely nailing the best satirical comparison like the amazingly brilliant person he is. "What have you got in store for this one, Obersturmführer-nami, you fucking monster?"

[@thepersonwhocomentz]

Generic Damage is what you take when you play this game.

[@i_just_got_here]

Hi there from the future, Yahtzee just named Contra: Rogue Corps his 3rd Worst Game of the Decade

[@superleviathan]

One of the most remarkable things about Super Smash Bros. is that Nintendo treats other companies' IP orders of magnitude better than their owners have. That applies to Sonic, Mega Man, Pac-Man and Banjo-Kazooie and it applies tenfold to Metal Gear and Castlevania.

[@thebois4884]

As a fellow British person, I appreciate the Homebase gag

[@alexanderraper3692]

"Let's all laugh at an Industry that never learns Anything Tee-hee-hee."

[@infinitesimotel]

They dont have to because there is a never ending line of morons that will still buy it en masse.

[@infinitesimotel]

@Amalaric GoTH Oh for the love of god do NOT give them ideas!

[@crimsondynamo615]

Today’s episode is on Konami and how they had a rising rockstar like career at first and are now like a petty ex wife destroying the legacy they once had and proving that 1984 can happen inside their own studio

[@Sarsol1989]

"Hey who remembers those adorable Reagan-Era political scandals" Aren't we all nostalgic for those? There was semblance of embarrassment and self awareness at least.

[@crimsondynamo615]

WTFViewer and is now in charge of the NRA, which is just several levels of poetic irony and sadness

[@Mathmachine]

It's at this point I find myself questioning how Contra has continued as a series when they have had so many bad games. I think the last one that was even decent was in the PS2 era.

[@MrOboliskos]

Mathmachine the DS one was really good.

[@bensell982]

@@MrOboliskos you mean the one that ignored every game besides the first 3(aka the good ones) and called itself contra 4

[@anotheremptychannel9202]

Well ask yourself this: How is Sonic still kicking after so many bad games?

[@Emberson-9000]

Hard Corps Uprising was good.

[@Jonnygunboy]

We didn't get Contra 4 in Europe. Thanks konami. (Like.... seriously why?)

[@Canadiansamurai]

Contra 4 on the ds was my jam! It makes me want to cry seeing what has become of this franchise...

[@ejs_ethan]

Not to mention, in order to do the multiplayer, you must use tokens that you can only earn in single player

[@angeldeb82]

LOLed at the running gags of imps saying "So anyway..." and old ladies falling down stairs. Also LOLed at the end credits.

[@joeyparkhill8751]

Konami: The EA of Japan

[@basiloregano]

Joey Parkhill that’s too nice for Konami. More like a crazy homeless man shitting on himself.

[@themoleman6806]

Joey Parkhill Except EA isn’t committed to gambling yet.

[@basiloregano]

Skyler Tesar have you forgotten Star Wars: Battlefront 2 or gambling game 2017?

[@hazmatter0634]

Winston Smith that at least was an "option" an option forced down your throat like a cough sweet but you could go without it. Konami meanwhile released an elaborate slot machine with nothing else

[@hanakoikezawa8322]

Hazama 06 slot machines are also optional you donkey, no one is gonna force you to play slots

[@DJAvren]

Depleted Uranium Lego will be the title of my next Indie album

[@makotoplush9776]

"Although I also got a bit of a Smash TV vibe because after playing it for 6 hours, that's precisely what I wanted to do" -Yahtzee (2019)

[@timebomb4562]

They could put it on the box blurb as it would pretty much be the review

[@alexjohnson9798]

Oh that's Krang! I thought those were beef curtains.

[@LautrecOfCarim]

Dark Souls? "Pow!" Slashy Souls. Good thing nothing stays dead around these parts. Heh.

[@sirgs5662]

Literally all they had to do was give us a game in the style of neo contra again and apparently even that was asking for too much. Good job AAA game industry

[@Formoka]

Already got the new book, Yahtzee. I’m still just waiting for a second Differently Morphous! I need more!

[@KeithFraser82]

Zero Punctuation indie rock band name of the week: Depleted Uranium Lego.

[@LiamPennington]

Thanks to the YT algorithm I'm on my 5th consecutive ZP video which mentions his orthopaedic surgeon, which is quite the niche word to follow through the uploads. This is like the time every other video mentioned dolphin fetishes. We all get old!

[@alexkorman1163]

Uberstrürm Furher Konami is one of the strangest things I’ve heard from ZP

[@LAHFaust]

I like how the one u that doesn't have an umlaut got one

[@alexkorman1163]

Buddy, I don’t speak German.

[@LayerInfinity]

the contra branded hip flask killed me

[@TheVideoGameManiac]

0:44 It hurts to laugh.

[@Alex-jg1fp]

I know, right? Imagine what's happening to Sonic and Mario in Death Camp Sega and Nintendo, lol.

[@ivancorredera4241]

Alex at least they have actual games on game consoles. What did Konami do to Silent hill, they took away a project with a lot of promise and gave us a casino machine. Castlevania gets an app game. They haven’t released a Metal gear solid game sine that abysmal survive game. What is Konami even thinking nowadays.

[@cosmicmuse2195]

Wait, I thought you were reviewing Contra, you just described the new Borderlands.

[@nicolasriveros943]

That Silent Hill bit made me laugh and cry at the same time...

[@geardog24]

Can't wait till this game gets turned into a pachinko machine.

[@madness1931]

PULL THE LEVER!!!

[@hellsingfan89]

@@madness1931 WRONG LEVER!!!

[@Pixul]

I find it funny how Yahtzee talks so fast the closed captions can’t keep up

[@intergalactichumanempire9759]

I wanna see a Contra game where you fight for the Nicaraguan Contras.

[@z-beeblebrox]

@Ford Prefect Contra: Contrary

[@rickmarr4478]

Not to mention that it also has weapon cooldown system. In a Contra Game!

[@jonathankent1517]

I get the feeling that if you press up up down down left right left right B A start, it opens up the secret microtransaction store.

[@BugsyFoga]

Wouldn't it be hilarious if this was contra game that was teased at E3 back in 2011

[@professionalhimbo]

OH, WAIT

[@shreemandpe]

Oh good lord

[@QRdestroyer]

New Yahtzee space book? Hell yeah!

[@HiroNakamuraa33]

Old yahtzee is back!!!

[@THBbon]

I like before I watch because I'm aware of the constant quality.

[@Ezrielthefallen]

"Can't I have just a little of the peril!?" "No, it's to perilous!"

[@timebomb4562]

The quote about fishnet turds is deeper than you might think

[@prop0042]

having a sword embedded in your chest that you can take out and use is that a homestuck reference in 2019 wowee

[@vukakovic7787]

Now watch as Gradius becomes a third-person, cover-based shooter

[@FanOFTrueHeroes]

Now now, Shattered memories has some loverly things in it.

[@sarafontanini7051]

yeah its just not really a silent hill game

[@Archangel96]

oh god i cant breath 0:37 pow pow pow ect

[@Sjono]

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow was a great game, it is even the most successful game commercially in the series

[@scbtripwire]

Lol @ the depleted uranium Lego, *that* is *slow* !

[@AtamisRazputen]

Oh hell yeah. I love your audiobooks

[@chrisjones5949]

This video should link to the Sacred 3 ZP video, as that's the only other time (I think) that he's made a "Call Dignitas" joke, and seeing it again here finally got me to remember to look up what the hell it means. Much better now that I know. :D

[@demonman905]

Wait, Yahtzee said "Zee" instead of "Zed". Spoopy!

[@lynxager]

"It's got to be daughter seduction." I agree with you 100% that is the only valid reason, LOL

[@dubstepbee6892]

in my opinion konami is doing all the things its been doing recently because they want everyone to suffer thats it, not in it for the cash they just want you to suffer

[@whodiniblewitt2544]

0:52 - Pow! Pachinko Machine rofl

[@MandleRoss]

The first thing I thought of when Yahtzee mentioned the glow-in-the-dark T-shirt was "Wouldn't want to be wearing that trying to hide in the dark from a crazed killer." Am I normal?

[@gamerbob2007]

Shirts are great but a pullover hoodie would be great

[@jonathanburks4694]

I will always respect a man who talks condescendingly about his own merchandise.

[@ashaw1016]

Just finished your latest book, would definitely recommend it! Even better than the 1st in the series.

[@Heebie-Deebies]

How does Yahtzee manage to sound so negative even when describing his own merch?

[@smokinggnu6584]

Bets on position for eventual 2019 bottom 5 list? I say 2 or 3.

[@pajamapantsjack]

Konami is like general shepherd getting rid of loose ends

[@Arto257]

@@thetruemanwithfalsenames you wanna calm down there, Captain Capslock?

[@Gojiro7]

So Yhatzee, after this trainwreck, do you still hold to your statement in the Metal Gear Survive video that burning down Konami HQ is a bit uncalled for? :P

[@SnuSnuDungeon]

Konami is never going to run out of bullets sadly.

[@kitthekat6844]

That cap looks slick.

[@RevolutionInsignia]

That black and orange snap back looks spicy af tho definitely gonna buy

[@WilliamMc91]

I'm interested in playing it out of curiosity

[@duxnihilo]

I don't know why I laughed out loud when he said: "Konami are fucking unstoppable". Then, when he followed that with one of his typically way-too-precise metaphors by mentioning Heinrich Fucking Himmler, I had to pause it and take five!

[@Roadiedave]

Best part of the game is an ad for the next Jack MacKewn book!

[@nerodeathstep5239]

Silent Hill shattered memories & downpour wasn't that bad, but the bit was still hilarious.

[@Hedgpig]

My favorite joke was when Yahtzee implied there's a weapon overheating mechanic. In a Contra game. HAHAHAHA

[@spectrumbots4268]

Contra: Alien Pachinko Wars.

[@michaelinquisitor536]

I played it for 5 hours and finally wanted to cut my veins

[@urmensch12]

You have some interesseting titles going on with your books i must say . I cant wait when you finish you ScFi Trilogy with "Will rebuild the Galaxy for Fame"

[@fearingalma1550]

What makes this so damn tragic is the director of the game did Contra: Shattered Soldier, one of the most testicle crushing yet completely spectacular games on the PS2, and Rocket Knight Adventures, a bonafide cult classic of the 16 bit era. I want to believe Konami held a gun to his head to turn Contra into Borderlands, and the hip flasks at E3 read like a cry for help, but geez.

[@dancingpotplant]

I find it quite interesting that in the start of the video he refers to a Nazis as his reference point for 'systematic coldness' considering the actions of the Imperial Japanese army of the same time period - see Nanking as one among many example. Not necessarily a judgement on the video or the like but more an observation of the presentation of both of the two major axis powers and their perception in general media.

[@Aragoss]

It was baffling for me since that method of genocide was a trademark of russians before and during WW2. See Polish Operation of the NKVD or Katyn among countless others.

[@dancingpotplant]

@@Aragoss yes good point. The purges were much like this. I suppose my specific point was that this was a Japanese company but you're quite right as another regime who's brutality is not as recognised nor used for humour. I would be intrigued to go back and see if there references to the Nazis is German game companies. Again not trying to cause a flap and decry our dear Yatzee just interested from a portrayal of history in the media perspective.

[@E1craZ4life]

Yahtzee did make a super cas’ reference to Unit 731.

[@dancingpotplant]

@@E1craZ4life you know what, I think you're right. Can't remember the video but I think I vaguely remember it.

[@E1craZ4life]

dancingpotplant Have a Twix. Heyyyyy~

[@krisgibbon2199]

Hey yahtzee, if you haven't played Darkwood yet you really should. It's an indie horror game that relies on the atmosphere it builds and environment rather than jump scares.

[@shockwave3318]

they should have added the little big planet butt eye pants as their spooky merch but I guess that was 9 years ago tho...

[@Toygains]

If you can look past that’s it’s not a traditional Contra game it’s actually pretty fun.

[@dannybeane2069]

Good Lord. I swear this had to be intentional. Even Murthy's Law wouldn't be able to keep up with this failure.

[@philawdry9626]

I'm so excited for this!

[@paradoxacres1063]

Knowing that Yahtzee will one day review *HuniePop* it fills me with determination!

[@E1craZ4life]

Not sure if you're aware, but I finished up all the slides for my ZP-style review of HuniePop; I just need to record dialogue and put together the intro and outro music, and then I can start putting the video together.

[@nameiswind9524]

I swear the new Death Stranding By Hideo Kojima is going to set new records after this

[@TheHumanEwok]

It troubles me that at 3:15 yahtz is holding the rifle by the magazine and pistol grip

[@MySinfulThoughts]

0:44 The poor thing dies like Rasputin.

[@speed7193]

Ever the badass. This was an awesome video.

[@mc-ps-playa5569]

3:16 appropriate weapon of choice

[@starkindustries26]

Yahtz ive listened to your new book twice now and i must know. Will we ever find out his actual name?

[@abloogywoogywoo]

Contender for worst games of 2019. [fart noises commence]

[@maninthemists2299]

This one is a candidate for the fart to have a sudden wet ending followed by an "Uh oh".

[@E1craZ4life]

And third worst of the 2010s.

[@montanarandall3126]

I am surprised he didn't bring up the season pass this game has.