Covetton House's Holiday Gift Line

[@Anticrystal88]

Butt stick ... I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

[@danielmacdougall2697]

Where are the covetton tissues ?

[@wf6951]

More than the vagina egg?

[@graceklotz1332]

Evian622 A butt stick; THE Perfect gift for the POTUS who has everything!

[@christophercampbell628]

Are you crying from laughing or because you're using the product?

[@bsrhoad]

If you are crying, you are doing it wrong.

[@jasonflay8818]

"And if you push it off a dock, it becomes a submarine"..... Single use only!

[@hiredsword]

Does anyone else find it funny that Gwenth Paltrow and Alex Jones basically have the same sales scheme but with polar opposite clientele?

[@opszanski]

Lol so true. They're both nuts. Though unlike with alex jones, no one is going to start shooting up retail stores listening to this hippie crap

[@hiredsword]

Derick But they might throw crystals at people!

[@shittykittyification]

Yep, just like Costco and Sam's Club.

[@hiredsword]

shittykittyification That's a pretty good analogy.

[@Carewolf]

Well, just wait for the goob-v vegan line. And they tools will have crazy people shooting stuff up basic on what they have been lied.

[@Buenomars]

Reminds me of an old saying: Don't put all your jade eggs in one yoni.

[@veek.6463]

Haha! Funny

[@seigeengine]

I am now wondering how many jade eggs can fit in the average yoni.

[@quangmanhtran9994]

Buenomars ...... Bruh

[@Chunkboi]

Buenomars Jade eggs make expensive omlettes. You can enjoy them in the ovarian breakfast nook.

[@muppetallica]

@@Chunkboi Does having nookie while the jade egg is in the ovarian breakfast nook result in an expensive omelette? Or an expensive trip to the ER?

[@MsKid5150]

I hope Goop sells some $100 Aloe Vera that helps every Chakra soothe the skin 'cause these burns are fucking brutal 🔥😆

[@girlwhomustnotbenamed4139]

That "Baroque simplicity" line kills me every time :D I also wonder how awkward it'll be if Gwyneth is ever invited to the show...

[@themostfowl]

Girlwhomust notbenamed her agent probably won't even try to get her on the show with how much fun they have made of her

[@FionaOfMountLawley]

It's pretty good. I've been trying to think of a more complex decorative style. Rococo or Art Nouveau maybe ? There aren't that many.

[@christophermichael8010]

Girlwhomust notbenamed Please do invite her! Let the real battle begin!

[@squamish4244]

I love Shabby Elegance.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

+FionaOfMountLawley: how about Victorian Freedom? Or Retro-Renaissance. SO hot this year

[@Higginz1991]

Toxidative isotopes using sciencism. I'm dying

[@veek.6463]

That was so funny!

[@MarkReviews]

"Using science-ism." HAHAHA!

[@terrashine1353]

Stephen you are just hilarious😄😄😄

[@eduardoandres5989]

"...and there's a wholle list of instructions!" xDDDDDDDDDDD that bit is just colossaly funny

[@lockergr]

Between the fridge and the butt stick I had the most genuine bent over, cry laugh I've had, maybe this year? It was that good.

[@moongirl786]

Well, it got me laughing, and I'm depressed right now (clinically, I'm not just saying that) so yeah, I think it was pretty damn funny. I wasn't bent over, but I was laughing. Thank you Stephen

[@veek.6463]

Haha.

[@veek.6463]

Moon girl- I wish you a speedy recover to your natural self. A lot of people use compassion as the weapon against depression. Thinking a or others totally and sort of forgetting to think about self. Getting involved but so know that's hard when depressed. I change things up: when I wash dishes rather than just letting my mind think, I focus it and think: "I am washing away all beings depression. May they be happy". When I sweep " I am sweeping away all beings chaos. May they be clear of mind and happy". When I take a shower I wash away all beings heaviness of spirit and wish them joy. I tie my mind up like that. Some exercise helps too like walking or whatever. Having a pet really helps I think. I wish you much happiness

[@TangiersIntrigue]

Possibly one of the funniest comedy segments I have seen this year.

[@anamilovac6202]

Well, I think you are supposed to be bent over, for the butt stick at least.

[@sanjuansteve]

@6:04 "If you need floss, you're doing it wrong..." lol

[@juros1545]

am i the only one who always cracks up at "baroque simplicity"? :D

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

no

[@Alsk34XKotomi]

I crack up at “give me money”.

[@Alex-vq9vj]

That's one of the highlights of each segment for me. Just stopping by after watching the 2020 Covetton House Christmas selection 😄

[@daniellederer293]

“Give me money” kills me every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

[@DRiungi]

Best roast of Goop thus far. Thank you, Stephen. Also, I can actually picture Stephen asking his gardener to pick out the perfect 'butt stick' and driving with it in his car to the Late Show studios.

[@sarahdugmore7079]

5:29 Dammit Stephen!!!! I was drinking water when you said that!!!!!

[@esenakyapi1499]

Sarah Munro at the office, drinking tea. same thing happened.

[@lockergr]

I nearly choked on my Asian pear.

[@clementinek25m31]

Sometimes I think Paltrow should be arrested lol

[@headcold7250]

clementinek25 m if she could be arrested for her fraudulent business, that would make all businesses criminal. They all do the exact same thing. Target a group, exploit their indoctrinated fake emotional connection to objects, and charge 5000x the cost of manufacturing for basically meaningless goods.

[@seigeengine]

No, all businesses do not do the same thing, and almost all businesses operate with a very slim profit margin (5-10% of revenue is good).

[@winterroseluv]

I wish Covetton House was a real thing! XD

[@eduardoandres5989]

im sure you can find a stick around your city to put up your chakra :D

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

oh butt sticks are old news. It's all about spleen toothpicks now. For the new "ït" zone/area...

[@errorusernamenotfound9013]

Absolutely love the Covetton House segments! And by the way, how crazy exactly are those Goop "gifts"?

[@cesarmadero05]

John Oliver: '' *Gwyneth!* ''

[@UsenameTakenWasTaken]

Solid Snake: "LIQUID!"

[@xs10086]

“Moist”!

[@alienbacon656]

Sciencism 😂😂😂😂

[@erickoontz6835]

"Sensual Butt Stick" Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! One of the BEST EVER Covetton House products!

[@amyzanlungo556]

Dying "patented spirit splinters". "If you need floss, you're doing it wrong."

[@jenpenn22]

i died at "spirit splinters"

[@stephanie5249]

When he said “Butt stick”, I straight-up spat out my drink

[@adamlackseverything]

The buttstick may be the best sendup of Goop's jade egg I've ever seen

[@SIUMoose]

Who are the four people who dislike this??? And is Paltrow paying them cash or Goop gift certificates?

[@kalindatchev994]

'If you need floss... you're doing it wrong' Genius ;)

[@Canadaheather]

This is one of the best segments I’ve seen in a very long time. So funny

[@amyl363]

Just close the fridge door and wait for the "deep, permanent relaxation to descend." I think that one got too little attention, due to the hilarity around the butt stick. "The Butt Stick connects your ninth chakra, the butt.....with this stick." 😂😂

[@JammastaJ23]

The writing on this is tremendous, delivered perfectly.

[@JaBarge303]

"It eliminates toxiditive isotropes using sciencism"

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I'm going to memorise this and use it on my kid the next time I get asked the same "why?" question for the 50th time in a row ie "why do I have to clean my teeth?" "why do I have to have a shower?". Ah, the joys of parenthood...

[@liamtully4553]

I’m disappointed that there isn’t an actual Covetton House website

[@NewMessage]

I'll bet that egg is pretty goopey when it comes out.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

ewww! And yes

[@lockergr]

If your lady is having that problem she might want to see her GWYN.

[@seigeengine]

Female sexual fluids are pretty goopy, but we might have different definitions of goopy, lockergr.

[@jonah4196]

My actual grandma says hi

[@bobmiller3627]

"sensual butt stick" OMFG! I can't breathe right now! lol

[@donnamariedemaio]

Brilliant as usual!

[@Jerricola2]

I've got one better, for the low low price of $100 per glass, I will serve you the most premium, luxury, exotic tap water money can buy. Act fast and i'll even include state of the art temperature lowering cubes.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

damn +Jerricola I think you're onto something! Can we go into business and do you have an account in the Caymans?

[@mksabourinable]

You joke but this isn't too far off from what those expensive water companies (like voss) do.......

[@paladro]

old joke

[@kashandracambria1306]

Jerricola Lol.

[@veek.6463]

Temp lowering cubes-lol

[@alienbacon656]

Covington house is an awesome segment!!!

[@zaiemrys5917]

"You can always call Alan." Good Lord, I'm laughing so hard that I am crying. Though, I will not be surprised if someone offers to make Covetton House a real magazine. I'll buy it. 😂😂😂

[@ejoshcoron]

These Goop segments are among my all time favorites XD

[@lizrael]

I love these parodies on Goop!

[@danielbrown8622]

I really do idolize this guy.

[@yogarcia6066]

+1

[@Rainy-In-The-Desert]

Daniel Brown You could do a lot worse, Colbert seems like a genuinely sweet and caring guy. Have a nice day, sir! 🤘❤🌻

[@rebecca8525]

Me too!

[@miguelgordillo3257]

Colbert Platinum!

[@Amy-gn6zw]

The Covetton House intro gets me every time! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@amandathrasher9347]

The heart chakra is not the second chakra though....

[@AConquerorsVendetta]

Amanda Thrasher isn't it the 4th haha

[@amandathrasher9347]

Vincent Garcia yes! lol

[@Daltaidan]

Unrelated, but I learned about chakras from Avatar The Last Airbender. And now I know more than some extravagant high end brand.

[@thecallousone]

Daltaidan I learned them from naruto

[@marciawright9375]

Hilarious! I get so excited whenever I see that Covetton House has a new product for sale.

[@breeharrison6754]

I'm not a betting woman, but I don't think that's the 1st time Stephen has frolicked in wild flowers.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

+Bree that's a lovely observation. Also gave me the best laugh I've had all day

[@currycei]

hysterical, and I like the last part best

[@davidj5910]

That stick is gonna fly off the shelves i'm sure. Lol!

[@bboyserga]

oh my goodness the "butt stick" was soo funny

[@chinookvalley]

Oh no! I can't breathe! Somebody stop him! Gaaaahhhooooooaa! I can't wait to get the butt stick that my family just ordered for my Christmas present! We are each getting one so we don't have to share!!! Hooooooooooohahahaha! Help me up off the floor!!! AAAhhhahaha!

[@zkbf2000]

Sitting in the coffee shop after a hard day of work at a hospital and I am laughing so hard at this clip that every one around me is thinking there is some thing is wrong with me. Thank you Stephen. You are the man to expose bunch of non-sense BS.

[@winesap2]

I loooove when he makes fun of goop. Woo woo people are so incredibly gullible. It makes my butt chakra harmonics tingle in unison with the universe.

[@TeddyKrimsony]

Goop is gonna sue Colbert one day lol

[@allymaeowens283]

Omg I Literally fell off my bed laughing!!

[@GaianShield]

🤣🤣🤣 Stephen broke ❤

[@cancervivor2071]

I love this man

[@rysun8709]

I associate Goop with cleaning products, did they come out with useless money wasting products too?

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Weirdly-expensive toilet paper. Covers both ends of that question

[@beatrizmonteiro658]

OMG, this was hilarious!!!

[@msstephaniexiong]

omg, i need that butt stick!!!! colbert, u r hilarious.

[@MetalGuitarGuy]

So freaking funny. I love it!

[@BR-jt6ny]

I will never get over the fact that she named her brand "Goop" of all things .....Goop! What on earth was she thinking?

[@lutherstcroix9392]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂YASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!...now let's watch

[@mskochergirl]

OH MY GOODNESS😂😂😂😂😂 hahahhahahahahaha... fudging hilarious!!!

[@judgesaturn507]

'You've literally drunk the Kool-Aid'. Love it.

[@marshacreary9771]

4:04-4:12 Honesty meets Fundraising

[@2009ajAJ]

Man, this was so fricking funny!

[@daviddelaney2407]

... +popcorn+ ? --Dave, I think I may not be old enough for the Goop catalog(ue) ps: ... #personal yellow submarine#?? -- oh thank the gods, Covetton House!

[@golden4730]

4:12 Stephen tried holding that laugh, but it was too funny not to laugh to. *That's what charities do in reality*

[@tuvoksg1]

Not often you hear the remark: "Since Goop has cornered the vaginal stone market..."

[@visceratrocar]

This was a hell of an episode. Stephen is on fire. Better him than California.

[@Chiscringle]

Caution sign on door of submarine: "Do not open while submerged." Because some time in the past, some nut has said, "Honey, I'm going to go get a closer look at that flounder."

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I love your picture of what sounds like a 50's era couple of submariner fools. Adorable. Before the inevitable tragedy, of course...

[@Chiscringle]

Cave Johnson: The eggheads said I couldn't make a submarine with a revolving door. Well I fired them and did it anyway! I'm the one paying the bills, I'm the one who gets to put revolving doors on my submarine. Sure it lets water in when you leave, but it lets the water back OUT when you come in. That and it makes those clownfish wait their turn for once.

[@falldown7xstandup8x]

1st root 2nd sacral chakra 3rd solar plexus 4th heart 5th throat 6th third eye 7th crown

[@squamish4244]

The second chakra is not the heart. Get your Eastern energy system terminology right, goooooooopppppp. (P.S. I have kundalini syndrome, a nervous disorder for which the only existing explanation is the chakra system, and I find this hilarious.)

[@misshavisham3220]

Came here to say the same thing! Second chakra seems right, though, since it includes the reproductive organs. The error, in my opinion, was labeling it "heart."

[@lillallelillalle]

2nd is sacral right?

[@lillallelillalle]

I was going to say maybe they were going top down, but the second then would be the third eye or throat . Goop needs to read a book about chakras regardless.

[@squamish4244]

Second is reproductive, creativity. Heart chakra is located in the centre of the chest. Where the...heart...is.

[@Dorianin1]

Chakras aren't real, so who cares?

[@highlandhousestudio6638]

How can I become a rep for Covetton House?? I think I could sell a ton of the butt sticks..

[@TF_Tony]

There was a Stranger Things joke in there somewhere with the float tank, but they didn't go for it. SAD!

[@fat_old_sun]

same with surviving a nuclear explosion in a relaxation fridge. but i guess that would have been too obvious.

[@nishantsharma7436]

Yeah man could have been nice though

[@JaBarge303]

Not everyone watches those shows...

[@alexlandherr]

Ekaterina Ageeva Indiana Jone reference!

[@TheBarber5550]

This looks like a Donald Trump tweet.

[@Therealgoop2]

Dang it. I wasn't paying attention to what the video was and my friends call me Goop so when Colbert started to talk about it I was like "who the heck is calling me?"

[@tiagocisneiros7831]

i'm crying here guys please stop! :D

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Ah, dental floss. The one essential thing my yoni was missing

[@cloyettegrant1733]

Stephen is so crazy!! I love his sense of humor. Love CH products. #coventtonhouse

[@nooneinparticular469]

Hey! Sun damage can’t catch up with your skin if you die from starvation because you spent all your grocery money on glorified Tang!

[@vickybartistry3292]

Aww man that butt stick is sold out, dammit.

[@lisamortini8567]

I kind of like that straw... Nice colour. That's it, I'm resigning from real life.

[@sorrow4374]

Dammit. I googled yoni. Why is so much of life about what people can shove in their various orifices??

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

because flawed and human. Plus fun...?

[@doudoulittel3081]

Yeah, curiosity might have not killed the cat, but it sure as hell deformed some pussies.

[@paladro]

feels good?

[@doudoulittel3081]

Honestly I mostly posted for the pun, but that's great to hear. I have to state though, that the same exercise can be done without the egg, as it's mostly used as a ways to figure out where/what are the muscles you want to train. And if women really feel the need to use something, there are way cheaper alternatives. Some of them even vibrate if they ever feel the need to soothe their sore vaginas after their workout .

[@FutureChaosTV]

Well, because life is about food, fun, sex and sleep. That's what it boils down to mostly. "Fun" is only included because we can't physically fuck 16hrs a day, so we have to indulge in other activities which are mere substitutes ;-)

[@ayotundegiwa1551]

this is the funniest man of all time

[@ursaltydog]

Spirit Splinters.. say that really fast 3 times.. and you get.. ouch to your sphincter... :)

[@m1activealesis551]

hear Stephen say butt stick.. my day is complete.

[@ErinHye]

The heart is not the second chakra...

[@ichtus101]

Oh my god, I almost pissed myself...

[@SanGeet0510]

This Goop should be charged with consumer harassment, but in business, it passes as "smart"

[@myrarolston]

I'm crying 😂😂😂😂

[@godofwar2494]

i can get you and egg for xmas

[@MrCrossp]

Bring out the t-shirt for coverton house

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

YASSSS. Plus it's "Covetton" but ok

[@vargohoat9950]

i was so impressed with my buttstick i ordered two each for my whole family (sometimes they break) thanks, covetton house!

[@MabruBlack]

This segment is even funnier because before it I got a 'Tender stories' add (with Gwyneth Paltrow) lol

[@Dr.HouseMD]

Colbert’s stage is @ Broadway & 53rd. So some props PA had to run over to central park combing around for a wooden stick lol.

[@marshacreary9771]

5:11-5:22 New Meaning to Refrigeration

[@JustAGuyProduction]

I'd like to see Gweneth paltrow respond to this.

[@penitent2401]

that coffin filled with water is a bargain, we bought one couple years ago for $5000 and only allowed to used it once and then it got burnt into a little pile of ash

[@rociomonserratt346]

Stephen is a fool 😂😂😂😂

[@oduffy1939]

What is the Sanskrit word for 'butt stick'?

[@oduffy1939]

:D

[@chinookvalley]

I looked it up --- and things actually got worse... Hahahahahahaha!