CPTSD: Can Other People Sense It?

🟢 LIVE Webinar Jul 9. CPTSD & Defining the Relationship You Want: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
Come See Me In Person. One-Day Workshops TX, NC & LONDON: bit.ly/49rzM0Z
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
People with CPTSD from childhood trauma often suspect everyone can tell they have problems. What causes that? Is it even true? In this video I talk about the non-verbal cues we send out that can tip people off that we're wounded inside.
***
*Letters*: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
Best Course for Beginners:
Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
How I Recently Lost 25 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
Learn to Heal CPTSD-driven Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
Join LIVE Webinars with Anna Runkle: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com/CCF
NEED BETTER SLEEP? Manta SLEEP MASK Use code CCFAIRY for 10% Off:
bit.ly/43udhog

[@clairemagnifico7237]

Yes, it's one thing to have been through emotional abuse and neglect as a child in the first place, only to discover, decades later, that you've been wearing a sign around your neck the whole time that says "Abuse me again".

[@dexine4723]

My sign says something more like 'Keep away from me or I'll tear your face off!' I intimidate people without even trying, even when I don't want to. At least it's handy for social distancing, these days.

[@FrancesShear]

It is not a sign that we put on ourselves instead that is how bullies are choosing to percieve us. Believing that we have the right to associate with people who are not bullies no matter what other people say about that is key.

[@helenhighwater5313]

@@dexine4723 There is hope for you because you have a sense of humor!

[@falconbritt5461]

Did you know energy healers like Cyndi Dale can actually see these "kick me" signs in people's energy fields? She calls them "marks" and says to her they look like X's. They are caused by people throwing the energies of abuse at our fields. She and other energy healers with the skills can also remove them! I was astonished - I mean it felt downright eerie how different it was to be routinely treated with respect and kindness instead of disdain or hostility - when strangers and acquaintances all started routinely treating me with respect once I got my mark removed. I hadn't changed overnight, but they did. It was bizarre to realize the abusive outlook from total strangers was all happening subconsciously on their part in reaction to that mark in my electromagnetic fields, because BOOM, it was just gone. Like she says, we can't just change all our habits of cringing or stressing or being defensive or whatever overnight, so I know it wasn't me. That part at least was just stopped on a dime.

[@taramoonshadow363]

Truly insidious! Purely EVIL!!

[@septimus1306]

Yes..... It is a bully magnet. They can smell you.

[@0311ForceRecon]

I got sick of being bullied when I was 13 or 14 and started practicing boxing at my childhood home, when I turned 15 I started lifting weights. I enlisted when I turned 18 and there was a lot of, what I perceive to be bullying and hazing. It lasted for a bit but out of anger I got fed up with thinking I can ever rely on anyone other than myself and between those 3 things, that helped me learn how to stand up for myself, something never taught to me. Ever since then I live my life in a way that reflects independence and perseverance and if you pursue it long enough it begins becoming prevalent in your personality and look. People will respect that out of you in combination with what you've suffered. If you give people an inch they'll take two, standing up to what people think, especially in a crowd mentality is a powerful tool that will speak volumes more than words ever can. Also "Septimus" was the name of my first World of Warcraft character

[@septimus1306]

@@0311ForceRecon Happy days Sir and well done to you. I tried to get into the military but wasn't successful and so ended up lost and without purpose. I was also unemployed, a situation that eventually my father decided that he could fix by making me homeless. On reflection I think the main issue has been a biochemical one over time. Early years, mum died young, constant rejection, step parent, endless anxiety later manifesting in an inflammatory bowel problem. That hasn't ruled my life but I've learned recently that 80% of our Seratonin is produced in the bowel. So with that out of action and a pile of meds quietly killing off the good flora its no wonder that, looking back, my deepest periods of depression were when I was most ill. That said, I've owned property, married, divorced, lost jobs and found new ones. I didn't get into the military but I now work in a civilian company that makes and supplies target drones. So, now I work with many different militaries worldwide. Still bullied at work though by a very sophisticated and artful one . The way I look at it is , this is less than 1% of the team, and so more than 99% don't notice.

[@callynt]

Yes indeed.

[@KarmasAbutch]

Adult Bullying is a lot more complicated than people are willing to hear. Ignoring it doesn’t work - fighting it doesnt work either. It’s not a one time schoolyard fight. Some of what they smell is resilience, courage and strength - a lot of us don’t realize that. But it’s important to note that’s also the CAUSE of the more obsessive, pathological bullying in toxic workplaces. Not weakness or incompetence on your part. Plus a truth teller is a huge threat in a workplace! Sound familiar? Like how the scapegoat gets picked in a toxic family perhaps? Yep. Its also our refusal to mirror back adoration of toxic people in the workplace correctly that they smell - that’s not something that’s wrong with you. Accidentally outing someone in a power position that didn’t do their job properly - unleashes an army of flying monkeys for the rest of your career there - my biggest mistake was internalizing it, instead of realizing that’s what’d happened. My years of workplace bullying began because I followed my jobs protocol and used their complaint process to complain about a bully (bullying my colleagues not me)... well that sure got the attention of upper management and all the other people who’d turned the other cheek and now had egg on their faces. Yeah They don’t like that. Neither does HR when you document properly and complain about a manager. Now I’ve been the one getting mobbed and bullied at work for the last 7 years because of that. I’m Union and a Public Servant, in the legal side of government. The part that drafts the anti-bullying legislation LOL. The more I stood up and successfully defended myself ... the more people jumped in and mobbed me, the higher up the chain it went... the more invested they became in isolating and scapegoating me. Now I have a Human Rights and Harassment grievance - my case is strong. I’ll win and get significant damages... but for what? There’s no winning here... only the right to not lose and stay in the same job... I’m blacklisted in my career and in my 50’s. My health is now ruined. Bullying is a lot more complicated than people are willing to hear. Ignoring it doesn’t work - fighting it doesnt work either.

[@septimus1306]

The thing that has always stunned me is the spontaneity of the attack...... and then, when you do plant your feet and look directly back into the soil of the other it turns into DARVO. Like dealing with a child who will push and push until challenged and then start crying that they are the victim because control of the moment is taken away from them. Control is re established by throwing you under the bus for something random.

[@pearljamin]

My dog was. I believe our beginnings were very similar. She’s the first dog I’ve ever had, and the rescue was going to put her down. She’s a mutt with no therapy training. Often she realizes when I’m triggered before I do. She will literally stop me and get my focus on her, then she loves me and helps me through it. She will even essentially hug and hold me and stare into my eyes. Someday I will have as much compassion for myself as she does for me and I will be at peace 💚

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so charmed by this. What a good dog!

[@susanne4370]

My cats know too

[@taramoonshadow363]

This is SO PRECIOUS!! Animals are pure angels!

[@virginiasmith5278]

Oh my goodness. I love her and you. Blessings and light to you both. 🕯💗

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

Best dog ever!

[@flip1980ful]

I thought people were seeing through me or I had a sign over my head that said ‘kick me again!’

[@helenboula3538]

I was the opposite I was classic chameleon

[@beckiskiss]

I had someone say to me once. "Someone really messed you up" woke me up.

[@tristanportillo4723]

I have had quite a few people hear a couple of examples of scenarios I would share and they felt immediate pity for me and said "I would never talk to my parents again or introduce them to anyone". Another was a tarot card reader. My friend paid for me to go to this lady and said she was amazing, "hits the nail on the head" and so I went and the first thing she said to me after looking at the cards and I never said anything to her about myself was, "Wow, you have been through the ringer haven't you."

[@katerineella274]

I've had quite a few people say this to me over the years. It is always a shock. Then I start questioning everything I think and do and feel. It is exhausting. So I have made my home (nest) as comfortable as I can and stay here with my animals and books and plants.

[@sarabjeetkaur7689]

Nobody told me anything like this. Atlast when i started waking up many come infront to stop me 🤦‍♀ to stop 🤮🤬

[@danielc5205]

People do sense it, and they'll judge you because of it as well.

[@rafapimentel599]

So I guess is true...

[@kathysemrau2301]

To see more clearly other people's behavior. Some people who blame you feel crappier than you do. I can only change myself. People who find ways to be mean to me are just being mean to themselves. They will blame you, but their behavior is their problem. 🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇🐱🌺❤💜🍇

[@sarahstrong7174]

@@kathysemrau2301 A lot of people, including bullies have a behaviour disorder that they need treatment for but that is not generally not recognised at present.

[@kathysemrau2301]

@@sarahstrong7174 l agree with you. They just flip a switch to bully, and go out to do their dirty work. And l can't believe how they get away with it. One day their ship will come. Well Sarah, stay safe and stay away from the bullies.😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇😷💙😇

[@TheBlackSheepDiaries]

Oh yea, peeps will keep their distance if you let them know your distant from family. Tell someone you are no contact and forget it. Glance this way, I know a little.

[@yourpetyourway]

The best way to start this kind of journey is to begin by not apologizing all of the time. Replace "I'm sorry" with "Excuse me" ... unless of course you actually do need to apologize. Controlling my verbal go-to responses really helped me begin self-control.

[@pearljamin]

I love that! Thank you

[@michelleduncan9965]

Great suggestion.

[@rey_nemaattori]

I tell my wife the same, to stop apologizing if you didn't do anything wrong and everything is ok. Her reaction: "Oh, I'm sorry" Me: 😂 It tells me we still have a long road ahead, but then again, we still have many years of good life left, so I ain't in a hurry anyway.

[@yourpetyourway]

@@rey_nemaattori you sound like you're a very supportive husband and I have great respect for you. Your wife is a lucky lady :)

[@melissaray6840]

Dawna-Lyn Marshall: i have never heard of this before...I am always apologising, sometimes for just existing...thankyou for sharing 🙂🌸

[@billbirkett7166]

This is just a reminder of how fucked up I really am. It feels like such an insurmountable mountain climb to change these patterns. I've always described it as avoidant personality disorder. I am completely terrified of 92% of people, it is so hard to function normally, some days it just feels impossible.

[@audreeaudree]

Hi Bill….I hope you know you’re not alone in these feelings. I have found Anna’s Daily Practice extremely helpful. It is free and always linked in her videos. Check it out - I do believe it can help you.

[@92caligrl]

Your channel name is hilarious 😂.. a little comic relief for the heavy topic.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I try!

[@ARA-ee9yr]

I love it, too! It‘s refreshing to see heavy things in a lighter way. That‘s how I survived till now ^^

[@UNCIVILIZE]

It's taken me years to realize I was attracting all that trouble myself with my own victim mentality and lack of self worth. Just realizing this is key. Then, the act of observing oneself, one's patterns, one's thoughts, and while in the throes of a trigger, we can make a choice right in that moment...and there's the change. Moment by moment.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Bravo! You just moved to the head of the class!

[@UNCIVILIZE]

Thank you!

[@Erinswain6]

I felt this. Knowledge is power.

[@makingwaffles]

How can we help a loved one come to this realization?

[@UNCIVILIZE]

@@makingwaffles Be it yourself, be a witness. If they want to talk about it, tell them. Direct them to sources, like this video, to find out for themselves. Take care of yourself first.

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

My mother got enjoyment out of breaking my spirit and watching me scream with her daily beatings until I was 14 and started fighting back. Battled serious internal rage my whole life. I wonder what type of person I was actually born as and not this broken woman I see in the mirror

[@agatha9071]

You are a brave person, you’ve survived and you stood against your mother at 14 years old. That’s David against Goliath. That’s courage. You should be proud of the person you see in the mirror! Although yes, I see what you mean and I can relate to what you’ve said.

[@ashleeskhan4075]

Hugs.

[@candifloss]

since getting off ssris which i've been on for 13 years i've realised how much rage i have inside of me... its hard to contain and i want to blow up at people i despise.

[@ARA-ee9yr]

I‘ve grown up with seeing my sister getting bet up until she was 18, 19 years old. Sending love. I can’t understand you But we can all change together. Like anna says healing is possible And you felt that courage at 14. that means that there was or is a seed

[@twhitney4093]

Same here! It was horrible. I'm so saddened that you also endured that. 🤗You are a survivor!

[@juli6497]

I've always felt that I could pick up on someone with abuse in their past, and that predators can pick up on it too.

[@zzulm]

Even at churches or hospitals. People are judgemental and probably it is poor emocional intelligence. I try to stay present with people that I feel are hurt.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're a good person.

[@JayMakepeaceAllan]

Absolutely people can sense it and it doesn't just mean in adulthood. And in childhood, not only does it not push people away, it attracts bullies who sense the weakness that you're home life is creating. In both childhood and adulthood, the cptsd within us says to others "this is a weak person who is willing to be your punching bag."

[@christineconklin534]

You were able to articulate deep feelings I’ve had for years but never had these words. I fear I am one of the” permanently damaged”. At 57 it’s been worse than ever. All the therapy, self help books and groups, medication, success, retreats, spiritual quests, education, actually becoming a counselor... and still, I get so dark at times. Thank you for this video. It was validating and contained useful suggestions for anyone who wants it. And I do, so thank you.

[@karlasimmet8777]

Christine Conklin I feel exactly the same especially careful not to put myself in situations that will aggravate my happiness

[@alexiswinter6948]

64. I feel the mood too and feel so conspicuous. I feel like I'm too crazy to be around people and that people would completely agree with me.

[@TJ-th1bo]

Try acupuncture injection therapy. Does in one session what takes years of massage therapy to accomplish. When the little needle finds your trauma and implodes it, you feel a few intense minutes of the past trauma and then it's gone. Like wasabi, lol. We carry all that shit inside us and when we get older, your body doesn't want it and forces you to deal with the the baggage.

[@alexiswinter6948]

@@TJ-th1bo Is that the offical name? Sounds like it's worth checking out.

[@christineconklin534]

Phoenix thank you for this suggestion. It’s one of the few “cures” I’ve yet to explore. Love the wasabi connection. Lol. Good one. Thanks again.

[@excalibirb9204]

I've been condescended for being boring and naive. No one taught me anything about life and how to deal with people. And now I'm struggling in college. Help

[@grmpEqweer]

If someone is being mean to you, *that's about them, not you.* Nothing you did MAKES someone be a jerk, it's a choice on their part.

[@ratelhoneybadger]

I'm in my 30s... still stuck there, it's terrifying. Invest in her courses ASAP.

[@patglennon9671]

A.c.o.a. 12 step meetings might be helpful, we learn to reparent ourselves with the help of the programme, and the support of people in the programme, it's for people raised in alcoholic families and dysfunctional families, mentally ill parents, sexual abuse. Peace.

[@petuniab.222]

Can you do something about feeling worthless? I had a very violent drunk stepfather yell this into my face many times. Now I'm 53 and so convinced that I'm actually worthless.

[@tomtbi]

The " Eeyore " cloud. I live with it every day. ..

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@brianarbenz7206]

It’s a pattern in my life. A really good and promising friendship will be ended by the other person, ostensibly because of one faux pas by me or a seemingly small impasse. It’s clearly something more that is driving people away.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I feel you @Brian_Arbenz. This seems SO common in CPTSD -- there's a layer of human interaction that can be very hard to detect. It can take a lot of intentional learning and solicitation of kind-hearted feedback to learn this part of life that other people received naturally as kids.

[@sean-yb5hc]

This is absolutely me, I've been so confused why I've been defensive and then wonder why I have minimal friends or anyone who's there for me for anything because people sense something wrong with me. All of your videos and much more have been such a revelation for me. Thanks for your work here, you are truly helping grateful people! May the Lord bless you and your work!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you @Sean!

[@jaybailey3212]

i have cptsd amongst other things and im so open and transparent. people see into me and through me. they see my inner wounds scars and weaknesses. i attract the same reoccuring situations with older women trying to bring me down. i wish it would stop. people hurt and trigger me so easily . im fed up of the power struggles and ego battles people do with me all the time. i just end up isolating and avoiding all people allltogether because i cant cope with them all anymore. its too much and overwhelming. most people are not nice.

[@izzyuchiha4284]

My friend is pretty observant in detecting people who have trauma. She deduced that I have trauma when she noticed that I would smile/laugh most of the time- I would smile when there was nothing to smile about. She also saw that our roommate had trauma because our roommate would say “Awww” a lot- even at things that didn’t really warrant that reaction. She picked up other small details as well. I’m always impressed by how observant she is.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@melonydivineq]

Ì have similar experience tooo

[@MakerTom2022]

"Hurt people hurt people." I think we may give off some kind of pheromones that people pick up, detecting pain. Thank you!

[@shirle8679]

Yes, I get this. The guilt I feel when I didnt do anything wrong... Makes ppl around me think I am at fault. Also extremely defensive becos I was attacked daily in the past for no reason at all.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We carry so much fear around it manifests into guilt and many other unwanted emotions. Glad you're here, there's help in any of the courses Anna teaches but this one is a great foundation bit.ly/39NxUBo -Cara@TeamFairy

[@susandelongis885]

Absolutely. I think that to those who haven’t known me my whole life find it confusing and therefore don’t trust me and I think they start to feel threatened by me. Also suddenly go from being very competent to very needy. I’m a different person when emotionally triggered b/c the child inside takes over. Hard to change b/c so unconscious.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes. But you're in the right place!

[@ratelhoneybadger]

Susan De Longis thank you for putting what I experience into words.♥️You have helped me on my journey, I wish you a AWESOME one (Healing Journey).

[@blissbased]

I absolutely recommend the Wim Hof breathing method. Anxiety: gone. Thinking about it doesn't help. Reconnect with the body. I've tried a lot of spiritual and psychological practices but only the Wim Hof method brings me complete peace.

[@preeto23]

I agree with this, I have been doing this method for a few days now and helped me so much. Highly recommend for people with CPTSD or even any other mental health problems

[@blissbased]

For everyone who wants to try it for just 11 minutes - this is what I do all the time: "Wim Hof Method Guided Breathing for Beginners (3 Rounds Slow Pace)" here on youtube. I'm also recovering from Hashimoto.

[@marieferguson2442]

@@blissbased my sister had Hashimoto and my other sister got it later in life

[@leahquispe4569]

Love WIM I have been to his LIVE CLASSES TWICE.... LOL I even got him some coffee... I was there very early... He asked me to do a coffee run for him!!!!

[@grmpEqweer]

I will check it out. Thanks!

[@yourenough3]

Oh how I relate to this. It's a big reason why I do isolate , I have come to not like other people and it's not them it's me. I find people exhausting. Thank you , your videos are so painfully true.

[@loreej2479]

63- I feel like “I stick out” in a room of people- this causes anxiety- I’d rather just stay home where I can’t be noticed.

[@mikerodrigues2906]

It a shitty way to live but when I'm feeling down I tend to pull away and keep to myself but I don't think it's healthy and I'm trying to get help with it .

[@alaaaaa4132]

It would be helpful to be with people in that situation, people who you trust won’t judge you & could actually tell them you’re feeling down.

[@maryfrady7149]

I learned to stand up for myself. I won't accept mean spirited behavior from people. I'm happy go lucky, sending out positive vibes until someone thinks they can what I call, clown on me. Bully or be so rude. I call them out on it and tell them I won't put up with it. People who try to beat me down are people I don't want around me. I start feeling not good enough. Or like they don't value me at all so yeah, it gets dark or at least shady. I feel like I have to protect the progress I've made. I have to protect my joy. While there are far less people who treat me this way, those that have not cut the crap, I'm seriously ready to cut them loose because I don't need it. Don't want it. It's like getting a sportscar into 5th gear and some a. hole flattens my tire! Ugh!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I hear you. I get stopped in my tracks by that kind of thing. I'm turning into a Ninja to keep bullies out of my space.

[@userin2963]

Dayum this is the first person who takes me seriously

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yup

[@rick3747]

I have always felt that those without trauma can see our microexpressions of hypervigilance, our way of one must earn our trust....... I got tired of masking, explaining to people.... I continue to heal as best as possible but I know I do most everything for my sanity and peace of mind. I have zero tolerance for games and such. I walk away from those who are not authentic. It is too toxic for my soul.

[@zerofuks416]

Yeah, tired of all the judging and most of it is in our head... just done.

[@annabelsmith7970]

Actually I think those without it have a harder time seeing it. The people I know who grew up in loving families can see we’re unusual but they don’t see us as just the trauma. It’s almost like they can see all of us and take our idiosyncrasies as one interesting part of our personality. And it’s because they have a strong sense of themselves that allows them to connect with people without being absorbed by all their crap. In my experience, it’s the people who do have some aspect of trauma or some similar “vibe” to us that are more sensitive to it in other people; they have a heightened awareness of it; are highly sensitive to it. And it’s because they had to be highly sensitive to other people’s crap as children in order to survive

[@tennyc]

My CPTSD is so severe I avoid ppl most of the time . Life continues to screw me over , so I just stopped trying

[@kimtodd4490]

I can relate I have even quit trying at times but that is even worse even though by then I'm past tired out . Please try again u might feel little better even if it's only for a little while

[@imwatching2960]

I had what I called the "beating reflex". If anyone did a sudden, bigger body move, got up from sitting unexpectedly, made a broad or quick arm gesture, I would duck out of fear, unconsciously. I would try to "hide" it (how can someone hide this??), but imagine a grown up sized 20 year old girl doing this! Yes, it only faded away when I was around 22.

[@zdub8438]

I'm 26 and still struggle with it. I work at a cash register and will regularly drop my scanner if someone shoves out the money too fast. I usually jerk towards them to lean into a punch that never comes tho. Must look goofy as hell

[@ashleeskhan4075]

I understand this totally.

[@ashleeskhan4075]

@@zdub8438 I pray you heal.

[@pam2727]

Thank you for getting to the point and not spending the first three minutes of your video on non-relevant rambling. You have been very helpful for me and I enjoy your calm voice.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

A famous KZbinr taught me that. He said open with a strong opinion and start explaining. When I started out I played long intros and titles and then introduced myself and blah blah blah!

[@sonnyca]

Yes, other people can sense the dysfunctional behavior of a person with CPTSD because they subconsciously project their problems onto others. I’ve had this all my life. Giving off dysfunctional vibes to my relatives, coworkers, bosses, neighbors, people I wanted to be friends with but drove them away. What’s interesting is that if you were to step outside your body and observe yourself, you’d see it too!!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Interesting perspective :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ARA-ee9yr]

I actually use this perspective change as a way to ground myself! When I see myself from the outside I feel that I am safe in my body and that helps a lot :) thanks for saying this Reminds me to ground

[@kathykardashian7750]

I can feel it in others sometimes. I can tell that people can feel it in me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@alexandermartin7856]

I've been chronically late my whole life. I always knew it was messed up and dysfunctional but I just could not shake it. Thanks CCF for allowing me some insight into this behaviour.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad I could help

[@miki7899]

Hello beautiful fairy! Wow.....that was 10 mins of describing me to a T!! I have CPTSD from being being sexually abused by a parent starting at 9 and lasted till 14 when I go thrown out and was alone and homeless from then on. I was not only violated at home, but this person shared me with 17 other adults. I had to drop put of school in 8th grade yet got my way I not community college at 23 with a diploma or GED, and after 2 yrs, I finished top on my class of 23 others. I believed my surviving being homeless and getting to that point that it was an great underdog mentality and "I'll show them" attitude. So is there any way to think more positive about me and working on those things,which I currently am in therapy, but be able to keep a healthy underdog toughness and motivation?? Everyone stay safe in this challenging time.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is great, and you are applying the "underdog" concept to mean someone who is a fighter. I'm all for that.

[@russellstone6390]

Every job I ever had, I've been called crazy, dumb, stupid, sick and a rash of other name calling, so yes, I can say.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's hard. Sorry!

[@tatibaby9014]

Russell Stone same :( why does this exists

[@russellstone6390]

@@tatibaby9014 By suffering and being different and having disassociating. People can tell.

[@wiputjaturapattarapong490]

They sure do sense it and most just took advantage of that weakness..

[@russellstone6390]

@@wiputjaturapattarapong490 people are wicked, so I stay away from them.

[@kirstenanderson7313]

I feel relieved that there are others who have and do experience the same situations, and feelings. I thought I was alone, and these feelings are normal 🤔 under the circumstances.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, relief!

[@Marsh49thp]

I became aware of how emotional flashbacks affect me during church services. Our Pastor used a sort of negativity that reminded me strongly of my abusive father. This would trigger massive dysregulation that would take a week to recover from. I felt hopeless, helpless and beyond redemption.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

What a relief you figured that out. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Marsh49thp]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy wellll..i couldn't figure it out. It was the CCF that finally opened my eyes to the truth about CPTSD. You can't fix what you don't know you are dealing with. I am writing and meditating every day know and it's really helping me!

[@Raminakai]

Unfortunately, many people go into the ministry to bully people.. and manipulate- be very careful who you choose to be your spiritual leaders. I am so glad you became aware of how this person made you feel- and made the connection.

[@rebeccajones8628]

"Healing is possible".....your words are so soothing to me Anna. You are my fairy. Thank you. 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome

[@fishinginindiana1904]

I’m 52 I’m experiencing this now big time. I had a horrible childhood with a single mother. Experienced lots of neglect and violence.

[@christineconklin534]

Giant Flying turtles I’m 57 and me too.

[@stephaniemendez6784]

Wow! I always wondered if ppl could see the abuse energy around me because I would get the same negativity from ppl, mostly ppl I worked with...I was so bullied at one job I couldn't figure out what the hell i did wrong besides just take up space and breathe.... this is so on point..I'm doing better nowadays...ppl don't treat me like that as much..I actually accepted that ppl would always just treat me like shit because of my childhood..

[@vanessasouthern1792]

Always get a little lump in my throat, such a kind person. Makes so much sense. Thank you ❤🇬🇧

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you @Vanessa

[@Raminakai]

When I was dealing with being late I forced myself to say, “ I am running late today because I used poor management skills today.” one day when I was late due to my own fault- I am sure depression was behind it but it was a bad way to deal with it. It helped me a great deal to have to say that to my boss.

[@epicmage82]

I started shutting down at age 7 or 8 do to...things. That "dark cloud" seemed to put a target on me. Lead to alot vicious words and beatings. I guess I was seen as weak. That went on until my second year of high school. Then I learned to be a social chameleon. Always changing to fit the people around me. Also I started to get violent. I started to act tough as a defense to discourage situations. I've never have started a fight in my life. I've always just wanted to be left alone. So I justified things I don't agree with. Someone would start a fight, and I would really escalate it. I would beat them so hard to send a message to everyone else. I also made sure people knew I carry knives. I still have the dark cloud and now I always look angry even when I'm not. I never wanted to be violent. Now later in life, I'm still scared of being in a fight. Not because of pain or safety. I don't want to hurt anyone, and something snaps in me when I have to fight. The biggest problem with fighting though is that I automatically release all my anger and pain on them. It's like an out of body experience that I can't stop. Fights don't end when I win. They end when I get physically restrained, and calm down. I aways feel appalled afterwards. These have been VERY rare since school though. Changing to fit in has definitely not been healthy for though. Now I'm a middle aged man with very confusing identity problems.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I would suggest some courses which can be found on Anna's website to help you with this. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@twhitney4093]

Yes. People I do not even know well have said to me "You were abused, right? I can tell. Was it your dad or your mum?" 😞

[@michellejensen8424]

I was visiting a new place long loong ago, when their dog came and sat against me, looking up at me. Where ever I moved she followed and clinged to me. I though she maybe was lonely or felt unwanted, but they said oh she does that to sad people, she tries to heal them. I though what, Im not, erhm.. its not me.. She shouldnt help me, I help animals, Im the one who helps them feel better, or what the hell is going on.. That stuck with me and it makes sense to me now, cus I was bigtime in denial.. People have always told me I looked sad, angry, tired, snobby.. But I thought oh they have issues.. But then I was like ok, I need to fix this and became overly conscious about how I had my face. Smile, open eyes, look up, seem forthcomming.. It helped with the comments, but not inside.. Cus they were right.. I was and am so sad most of the time.. Good things bad things what ever is going on, I still feel sad... Feeling happy is a chore..

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We have a great support group at Crappy Childhood Fairy who know just what you mean -Cara@TeamFairy

[@a.phillips6892]

I’ll never forget being in a work evaluation, and the supervisor said to me “ your coworkers have trust issues with you, I’d like you to work on that in the coming year.”...talk about a dysregulation trigger!😔

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Very unfair demand without more details, I get it though- same happened to me before! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@chinatanzaniabusiness1262]

Pole

[@curtistinemiller4646]

Trauma begets Trauma....

[@shytiarafowler]

So grateful for your channel. Wish I can afford to be part of your program. Bc therapy really doesn’t work but just re-trigger me. But I thank you for these videos so much. I wish I would’ve had this information years ago - especially when I was younger.

[@TheBlackSheepDiaries]

Just did a cover over here of ooh la la, I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger. Visit and you may find something helpful as well, I'm in this boat too. Take care.

[@Leftatalbuquerque]

You've just described my adulthood (except for the being late thing - I am punctual!)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad *somebody* is punctual...

[@fox39forever]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ;-)

[@G2thesecondpower]

I completely and totally recognize myself in this. I have been in the middle of major depressions or having a hard time coping with my extremely toxic marriage and had people treat me like I was nuclear radiation. The rejection I feel just leads to isolation which leads to more feeling of rejection, because I've put up giant Trump sized border walls to protect myself. These days, it's just been easier to be alone. A lot of the time I'm perfectly okay with it, but then something will happen--like the fact that I'm staring down at my 50th birthday in a week, and I have so few people to celebrate it with--and that is totally my fault. :( The sad part is that I am totally aware of this and yet I feel completely unable to change it.

[@cheriefrench6956]

At 10 yrs beyond you, I just plan to do my 60 th alone. Nice meal, good book to read. Yes it hurts that no one cares, but I find it easier to have no expectations, then less disappointments.

[@andreamagyar7776]

It takes time to settle with yourself in a society promotes being with someone, just anyone, otherwise you don't count. I sing to myself a little birthday song, eat the cake, buy present etc. Give yourself time.

[@fireflythinking1290]

I always find myself naturally gravitating towards people who have had a difficult childhood (in a good, 'they get it' way). Once we get to know each other it's like I'm waiting to hear about the 'thing' that broke them, and once they tell me I'm not surprised. For some weird reason, I often find myself attracted to bous who have had issues with their dad (who left or died when they were young), etc

[@karenhoskins9126]

You are confirming what I have experienced for a long time, but have never seen addressed in quite this way. Just seeing the initials CPTSD in a KZbin video title was amazing. Thanks ❤️

[@kenzieobrien5366]

Thank you for all that you do! I’m healing from a gaslighting relationship that ended a year ago and I have developed complex ptsd. I’ve never felt more reassured in a really long time! You’re KZbin channel is so refreshing, I’ve been researching and constantly trying to find out ways to heal and what to do, so thank you for being so helpful ❤️

[@davidbrown6056]

Thank you again for your positive and hopeful input. For decades I also thought I had a sign on my forehead about how abuses were running my life and how bad I must be and didn’t even realize it. So many young yrs of traumas

[@Therika7]

“Here in present time, we have an immediate need…” Finally someone gets it! Thank you for all your talks, Anna!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@LG-lz5jx]

You're so honest and grounded! Thanks for being practical and guiding the way.

[@fox39forever]

You're a great person and thank you for your work.

[@larajohnson8656]

I taught middle school and was even abused by my eighth grade students who responded to me as viewers are stating in these comments. I knew children this age can be cruel , but I had no idea that it would feel this way even as an adult. It is only since quitting my job and stumbling upon this video now that I am realizing what has been going on my whole life. I also had an inexplicably abusive (now ex) mother in law who fit your Mean Girls/Queen Bee description. Thank you so much; this video gives me hope that I can take assertive action to overcome this. I have always been like this, even as young as infancy (yes, I have a vivid, good memory). I was never abused but I did have a traumatic premature birth due to being biologically rejected by an rh negative mother who did not receive Rho Gam due to medical negligence. I really think the C-PTSD was brought on by this which sounds ridiculous and I feel ashamed even comparing myself to people who have experienced horrific ongoing abuse as children, but the outcome is the same no matter the cause. I am in so much emotional pain and dysfunction. I have done so much yoga and meditation which has helped my ability to present myself appropriately to people who don’t understand this. The pain still sits on the inside, though. And I still feel like I don’t belong, even here, because the trauma I’ve suffered isn’t the same as everyone else’s. Sigh.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hi @Lara, I reflecte don that "biological rejection" idea and it does not seem ridiculous to me. It's an old paradigm that we are inert beings in the womb and then suddenly our psychological/spiritual beings become massively important in infancy! I notice more and more research emerging about levels of connection and communication we may not be consciously aware of, but that dictate functions of our growth and development (e.g., a girl who does not live in the presence of her biological father goes into puberty earlier). But whatever the past experiences were, or what they mean, you are right that the symptoms are what matters now, and how we will learn to handle them and heal them. So you are 100% in the right place!

[@lisaterry9217]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤

[@jandl9417]

Seriously, thank you for this bc my husband and I are taking time to listen to you and your helpful advice....thanks for your humility to open up ur own journey!

[@travelbug4536]

Wish l'd known this years ago.

[@theresaromero2855]

I really appreciate your clarity, honesty, and generosity of sharing. This video, especially, speaks to me deeply.

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

New subscriber here. How do you overcome This? I feel like I have this sad look on my face most of the time.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome @Lynn! Come on over to my website, or better yet, the courses page. Overcoming this is what I teach. crappychildhoodfairy.com

[@markmccaskie9413]

I prefer to have a Sad face. And not a trauma face. 😱 I do use face masking a lot. 😶.

[@Rebelz173]

Me too! I feel I’m stuck like this it’s shit

[@leabell5763]

I have an angry face naturally, I focus on raising my brows really slightly and widening my eyes making me look friendlier. Perhaps that would help you?

[@tristanportillo4723]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I have a frown "angry" face and people think I am upset and ask if something is wrong...I am just working or focused...I don't want to be like my father who has perma frown. Neg!

[@lmh7121]

I love your dog analogy Anna. I also appreciate your teaching that we CAN change the effects of CPTSD by focusing on what’s right in front of us, here & now, today. Keep working on ourselves, a little bit better every day, just like you say. 👍

[@RamKumar-yi6wn]

Oh man , God's lighting up the way for me through videos like this and other stuff that directly speak to me. Please give me the strength to walk the path You are showing me,God🙏.

[@carmellalarue7882]

Last May i walked out of a persons house triggered. I asked someone if i could pet the puppy. I held her for a second, she whined and licked my cheek. He says "want her 150 bucks she is yours" i said i don't know, set her down and she stayed between my feet looking up at me. Sucker that i am i did not need another dog. I paid 100 bucks took her home. Been doing some shadow work lately. That little dog , its been a year she is still shy. Then it dawned on me, she is that scared , abused, little child that was me! I cried because i had been giving that little thing mixed messages cause i just wasn't sure i wanted to keep her. Aww it hit me like a ton of bricks. I for the first time could visualize myself little and scared , jumpy not knowing what is next. Now for pretext she is Chihuahua and dashhound. Maybe 4 inches high. Wish i could attach a pic. Grateful for your in sight and sharing with me. Grateful for my animals and teaching me unconditional love. Namaste☺

[@lisawynne-magnuson9469]

I’m so blessed to have discovered this channel!

[@fitforfreelance]

We hold the key to setting our self-esteem right! Turn within and manage what you can with yourself 💯

[@spiritosa0123]

Underdog effect. I love your clear and relatable descriptions and examples. I've only recently begun thinking about PTSD stuff as explaining my lifelong behaviors that I could not rationally explain - and you have stated these things so clearly. Brava !

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks so much. Very glad you are here!

[@monica7543]

I am so glad facebook put me in contact with you! Thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome!

[@picklep9812]

I like the name of your channel. It says a lot about how authentic you are imo 💞

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay! Thank you!

[@brandonburt128]

I really like the way you framed this video, with the short focal length so that you're in sharp relief, but the background is very soft. It's artistic and it sort of lifts your words to a more sublime level. Thank you for all these videos, I've been finding them really helpful.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you liked it!

[@fs7990]

I believe you said in one video to not make CPTSD your identity; but this entire channel is you discussing your CPTSD and your solutions to it.

[@Hamza-GH-Hofmann]

Thanks for the precise description of the underdog effect. Gives back the handle to oneself. Sincerely from Germany.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Danke!

[@siriasouza5264]

I'm so glad that I just found this channel. Thank you! ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome @Siria_Souza, we are glad you found us too! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@kimporty6575]

Im feeling this today, triggered by my Daughter. Listening to your voice is so soothing for me, it helps me focus when i'm feeling disconnected. Thank you for what you do. I empathise that you too had a crappy childhood. Thank you for being a beacon of light for all of us needing it. Ive been a ship lost at sea.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Aw, thank you @Kim! I know the lost feeling. So glad you are finding "home"!

[@BL-rb7jm]

Sometimes we can overthink things and bring more complication I've done that thing many times before it's almost like trying to be perfect expecting too much for yourself

[@Marcelube]

Thank You and congratulations, Ms Fairy!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you too!

[@David-eu1ms]

I feel extremely anxious and avoidant when it comes to intimate situations, but I still force myself to go and be in close company with other people and I always take something good away from the experience, I wish I could open up to other people though and stop feeling like an outsider when I am with people who obviously appreciate my company, do you have any advice, Anna?

[@ZitterbartEscherBach]

this is extremely helpful, as my PTSD was recently 'graduated' to CPTSD..

[@tihanaharrison6728]

6.20: late for work thing...I am.usually not. But when I start being late and can't get that to change, it tells me a huge deal about my life at that time: it was to tell me I don't like where I work any more and need to change that. It wasn't always possible, though. Back to watching now

[@stephenoxby2977]

I love these videos so uplifting. Going to watch more knowing you know how trauma impacts you and what to do about it.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you! Very glad if I can help to give some uplift. We all need it badly.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Thank you for this channel, God bless you! 7:00 didn't realise latenesd was a manifestation of faulty perception due to complex trauma - explains so much, thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're very welcome

[@giovannaramello2667]

Oh my God that’s the feeling I carry with me. Every time I see a beautiful and happy woman with a loving husband and kids I feel that I will never have such things because I lack the warmth and comfort, like I’m a block of concrete or a thing from the sewer. I joke saying that if some people feel like home I feel like one of the 173,371 bunkers the paranoid dictator Enver Hoxha built in Albania during his regime. People can see and feel this energy coming from me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I really encourage you to try this course: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice We can change that energy ! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@tomtbi]

My friends in high school and college suspected that I suffered from CPTSD when they tried to connect with me and I pushed them away... I regret not connecting with them but I have been able to reconnect via online and they seem to understand why I have been this way for so long....

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's very supportive

[@LR-yu3mx]

Had many lossies in 2019..my husband.. Daughter... Best friend. That bought back the dark cloud. Wil follow your steps definitely

[@Buggieboo69]

Thank you for all that you do. You are so greatly appreciated

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So nice of you. Thanks!

[@marshallsmountain]

This information is right on target. Anna, please keep up the great work. Taking responsibility for using the tools to heal really does empower a person and makes the "underdog" effect disolve. Thank you.

[@truth322]

without yet watching..I think the answer is yes and they can abuse you because of it💔

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes.

[@Allanwify]

OMG you are so so accurate and precise.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks. A nice compliment.

[@jessicalove4089]

I love you for all you do. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Big virtual hug. Thanks.

[@victoriacollins7960]

Thank you so much! My fiance's suffering from ptsd. I didn't think ptsd was such a big deal. Until she left me all of a sudden I didn't know what was going on. Our love never felt more real. We been on an off. I realize I wasn't helping at all. I'm fixing me. We are together on an off. It's been Chalanging. I am bipolar an haven't had medication So I been over whemeld. Maybe I made her worse. I didn't mean to. It breaks my heart seeing her like this. We barely talk an she moved 8 hrs away. But we been texting more. I jus want what's best. I want her to be her.I'm trying to get her to watch these videos. You've helped me so much in 2 days. Thank you so much!!!!

[@coralmccrystal4606]

This is very helpful and encouraging.

[@winkieblink7625]

I’m glad I discovered you. Thank you. Never knew all my symptoms had a name. Gosh.

[@rubymaubert3605]

So perfectly put. Thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you @Ruby_Maubert!

[@356diane]

Once I was working a crappy job in one of those call centers and this woman befriended me who was going through her own healing process and she somehow sensed I had a similar scar -how did she know? Its not like we were dwelling on it, she just was matter of fact about it and then we never brought it up again. It was amazing when I look back and I hope she is doing well -I still have a photo with our heads next to eachother like sisters.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I love this story. Call center work is a minefield! You're brave. I hope your friend is doing well too.

[@hjay26]

I don't understand why being wounded makes them withdraw if you're being kind... I guess kindness isn't a save all.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yep. For some people this is how it is.

[@Jess-kn8vl]

I feel like they are people not worth getting to know well anyway. I wouldnt want anyone like that in my tribe if that is how they are if not to me but to other people.