Creating Moments of Freedom - Letters from Esther

We all need freedom and security, which is why when the world doesn’t feel safe, we often don’t feel as free.
“When was the last time you felt free?”- one of my favorite questions to ask my clients, friends, and family. It inspires an incredible range of answers and a variety of interpretations. It’s because that word-"Freedom"-means so many different things to different people.
So many of the answers I’ve heard about freedom have had to do with daring, going beyond a threshold, but there’s always a secondary experience of safety.
In this workshop, we’ll explore how we can find small moments of freedom in the face of the things that shake our sense of safety and security. We’ll come together to share how we experience the feeling of freedom and inspire each other to take care of ourselves.
I’ll be discussing this month’s newsletter on the feeling of freedom.
Letters from Esther Perel is a monthly newsletter and free workshop series created to help you deepen your connections through reflection and action. Sign up for the series here: bitly.com/lettersfromesther

[@cyrenebader598]

As a Palestinian muslim woman (who admires your work immensely and can testify to the fact that your work literally saved my life) this is a big question and I can spend weeks answering it (maybe I will sit and journal it) here's what comes to mind immediately; 1.When I practice yoga which I do individually and in a class and meditate twice a day. I am aligned with my breath and body free of thoughts and judgement. 2) I will sky dive one day. 3) I express anger in political demonstrations (Beirut) with a group of like minded individuals I feel safe with. The last time I felt free was 3 days ago at a cafe in Hamra after watching a beautiful play that was heart wrenching and discussed it afterwards till 2am in the morning knowing I had work at 8am.

[@marilynnovack653]

I was recently at my friend's dayghter's wedding on my own. Normally, I would have listened to the great music, but not danced. The groom passed by me, sitting on my chair and summoned me to come dance. I did not sit down all evening. I appreciated that many of us could be together in celebration, without Covid restrictions and I "danced like no one was watching". I felt so free.

[@chilloften]

How fun. You felt loved.

[@EchelonPandora]

I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. I will dance too ❤️❤️

[@anamberti577]

laughing alone makes me feel free. hapiness without effort

[@robertadcox8419]

I feel free when I am around someone with spontaniety. I get so tired of the rituals of living that have little or no relevance. Making a new cocktail and enjoying it at 11:OO oclock on a Saturday night. So nice.

[@bernadettepacana838]

When I am on my yoga mat, moving my body without judgement. When I travel alone, in the beach, in the park without having to take care of anyone!

[@CrystalRose333]

The last time I felt free was the carride home after breaking off a 12yr highly toxic & abusive relationship with my kids father. It was a 2hr drive home so I had time to process things. I listened to all my favorite songs & belted them out like I was on American idol (he hated my music choices & singing around him would usually set him off so it was rare i got to enjoy music) lol. I cried boy oh boy did I cry but every tear that dropped I felt more n more weight lifted off me. The thought of knowing he couldn't control me anymore, manipulate me, verbally/physically abuse me, isolate me, exploit my insecurities, he lost his control over me & damn did it feel good! I'm still healing from the abuse & struggle with my new partner to let down my guard but It's all worth it in the end because I AM FREE!!!

[@gurpreetrandhawabal9268]

When I told myself the opinions of others don’t matter for a moment and when I started to love myself ❤️

[@leonorlizardo9174]

Thank you for all you share to enrich our lives. I'm 73 and wish I had listened to you 20 years ago...freedom to explore many things.

[@willingmorris4783]

Driving my car with music playing loudly and sitting reading alone in my own space. Thank you Ester for making me think about freedom.

[@mvaso13]

Freedom to be myself and not having to justify to myself or others

[@maria.1313]

I so love and admire you, Esther! I loved listening to this chat and pondering on freedom. So many nuggets of clarity and greater understanding of freedom. The last time I experienced freedom was when I sang, when I did yoga, when I allowed myself to trust and float in the sea. These days I'm going through a lot of healing, getting to know myself more and becoming more connected and intimate with myself. Finding wholeness. I'm finding that I feel more and more free of the past, finding aspects of myself I never knew or experienced. For me freedom was mostly 'freedom from' so contemplating on 'freedom to' is really supportive. I feel like in line with what I said earlier, freedom to be myself and express organically every moment in sovereignty and autonomy, as guided from my heart and soul. Freedom to take responsibility and find the power in that. Freedom to create my life in a way that feels good, fulfilling, gracious and true. Ah so much to expand on this. I feel deeply grateful, thank you! 🙏🤍🌹

[@katiemurray9816]

Whenever I can be creative is the most freeing. Dancing is one way. So Free is when I feel free from my mind which is when I’m creative and doing something I love 💕

[@linahome1417]

When I am dance home alone, I have done it always since I was 5years🦋 I am express my with tears and body moves ❤️

[@kalipotmeng]

Esther, you are an angel! ❤️❤️❤️

[@petduty]

Freedom for me is being curious of what’s next, and stepping through the fear to find out. Thank you!

[@yanitam1297]

When I think of freedom? The inner most desire I presently feel is to believe in myself xo

[@IamRjack]

I love the idea that different values can be prioitized at different times and maybe differently in different contexts.

[@nazaninsabet8087]

When I accept myself the way, I am, without self-criticism, without being a perfectionist to torture myself.

[@user-dg5eh5lr6b]

When I go to Makka and forget everything beyond it’s boarders and rise my hand to my God with a prayer filled with tears and wishes without felling judged to be so needy , wanting and helpless.

[@bardoteachings]

Beautiful Love Fairy! Thank you for your teachings and blessings!

[@freshliving4199]

There is a difference between feeling free and knowing that you are free. Only one is real. Knowing.

[@linahome1417]

As a sense of music, peace , Run, dance, with risk and feel ❤️

[@denisemartinez9142]

I could think of a daring thing to do but not of what freedom means to me. This intrigues me....

[@artbodyspirit]

when say to myself: you don´t need to do anything!

[@hdskl2150]

I’ve always loved you, you’re so amazing! Hugs!!!

[@daghildrick6075]

I am in a new relationship since February,todays theme is exactly what I need to listen to. Thank you

[@daghildrick6075]

Time for myself

[@m2pozad]

My most fundamental connection to issues of freedom have been in the area of financial freedom. More specifically- organizing my life around living a debt-free life. It changes everything. It gives one's life force back for living in the present. Rather than worrying about paying off- the death pledge mortgage, car payments and credit cards. All decisions and choice become truly free. See: Your Money Or Your Life.

[@antheat434]

This is what I am working towards. What were your most important actions around this goal?

[@m2pozad]

@@antheat434 Maintaining as high a savings percentage as is sustainable, without being miserable. I found 50% very doable. Have a financial partner who is of similar mind. Foreigners have their heads and hearts in the game. Be happy with living below your means. I still drive a 1985 Toyota Van. So, no car payments. Buy a home, don't rent. Love the neighborhood. Have a sanctuary. There will be less desire for expensive vacations. Use everything till it breaks down. Be handy, do-it yourself. But spend with friends. Don't be a cheapskate!

[@dayamitrasaraswati6276]

When I'm alone in my back room weaving at my loom.

[@zeescreation]

Thank you 🙏

[@hgcollective]

Thank you 🙏🏾❤️

[@minookalantari]

Thank you

[@hgcollective]

I feel most free when I am dancing to music that intensely releases my feminine aspects … and I find myself doing things that “I think” we’re not possible ❤️❤️❤️

[@jessicaboyd9148]

I feel free right now because I’m on vacation for a week.

[@abrahamboniface6353]

Cocking by my self with my favourite old songs playing in the background

[@linahome1417]

🦋❤️ Words ❤️

[@irene_]

I feel free when I'm dancing salsa. I would like to learn how to surf😊

[@m2pozad]

I know how to surf. What do you want to know?

[@thetruther954]

Esther. You are so flexible. This viewpoint, the other viewpoint. So much insight. On so many different things. I have seen you talk about the thrill of breaking the rules. The joy of doing what you’re not supposed to. The fun of thinking of the forbidden. I see where one psychologist is criticizing your normalization of affairs and this expertise of yours. He says the data shows if you and your partner agree from the start you don’t belong exclusively to each other, there is equal chance of staying “together” as monogamy. If you’ve been monogamous say, 10 years and try the non monogamous at that point, the odds are dismal of it working out. My Dad only knew one woman in his life. 50 years ago my close friend nailed it “would you really want someone else screwing your wife?”. I think Esther, if you do wish to remain faithful, that you keep those exciting thoughts in your head until you can trust a man to not take advantage of them. We all know how dysfunction in the family can be, but I would not let a man access that need in you. And as for “the happiness mandate”? All your help doesn’t amount to a hill of beans if you’re not happy.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@willingmorris4783]

Browsing in a charity shop - dancing - yes always. Often when I’m alone … pleasing myself, doing whatever I fancy doing at any moment (as all moms must relate to) so many examples but seems to come down to me choosing for me not thinking about or looking after others or the humdrum stuff.

[@robinlafferty5479]

I feel most free when I travel solo in an unfamiliar country

[@EveReFi]

I moved country I started a new life alone, I’m single, I’m making friends, having my best life I’ll turn 40 in a few months and never felt happier and free, the problem is that I’m afraid to lose this if I decide to have a relationship, I’ve been pushing ppl away and I think it’s bc of that… 🤔

[@AvaGrail]

Freedom to say no

[@thomasuwewichmann4398]

Bestehlen und an die Arbeit peitschen ihr seid verrückte.

[@linahome1417]

It’s a secret but I am doing it now so I am really scare☺️ I write to you much later 😍Ester👍🏼

[@sayusayme7729]

Hey 💗💗💗

[@Anna-fj4dp]

When I don’t listen to my mind

[@cyrenebader598]

The song for me, Alive - Sia

[@hgcollective]

Ha ha stand up comedy! I imagine doing this and whoa it scares me! 😂

[@anamberti577]

travelling I havent done it yet

[@bernadettepacana838]

Sky diving!!!

[@NBnNC]

Chiefing with my friend and going thru the head high, body high, horniness, munchies with him 😜

[@anamberti577]

Hello dear.

[@thetruther954]

Esther. If I may add another thought. Has someone ever helped you professionally, or you helped someone else, maybe a woman in my case. She has seen the dysfunction, helped you feel better about it? Talked about intimacy not being scary at all? And then, after the juices are flowing, as she might put it, you turn the tables to see how she's been handling it, and she doesn't see you very much after that? It's happened to me more than once. Yeah, if you're going to jump in the water, you've got to think ahead about how you're going to swim.

[@Anna-fj4dp]

When I don’t listen to my mind

[@Anna-fj4dp]

When I don’t listen to my mind