Girls Share Biggest RED FLAGS that a Guy is Creepy | r/AskReddit

[@Cuestar]

any personal red flags you have that someone is a creep?

[@SmoothBrainStuff]

Sometimes I just get a feeling something is up

[@CommanderHarataIdaku]

When they ask how old I am. Or hit on me on the bus, sniff my hair, or ask if I'm married with kids. I've had all three things and more happen at the same time.

[@abelle5859]

a guy I dated one time told me that violence turns them on. Huge red flag right there

[@ivansgirl144]

Calling me baby or sweetheart with zero prompt

[@acewoodland2217]

Like when I'm meeting them for the first time and they touch my back or something. And yeah staring is offputting.

[@franl155]

Not stopping when you say No. If they can't/don't/won't respect that boundary, you can bet that they won't respect any other boundaries you have.

[@Arlesmon]

i hope that eventually they learn to respect those boundaries in the future, or when they're arouynd someone else.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

The frowny face from not texting fast enough triggered me. I've had friends do that and it's always around the end of our friendship. It's so manipulative and I can't be there 24/7 because they aren't done talking. It makes me never want to text that person again. My creepy red flag is when they think you owe them right away. I don't see them wanting to be friends with guys, but now that he's befriended a girl 5 mins ago, it's all "what's your snapchat? Insta? Number? Address? Breast size? Sex position?". Dude, calm down. You didn't even ask what my name was first!

[@Arlesmon]

To be kinda fair on befriending a person for a few moments and asking for some info to stay in contact, sometimes, things will be a one event where they'll probably never see each other again. Thus asking for a number will keep the conversation going But that goes after having a small conversation at the very least and see if there's chemistry

[@Персик-н2к]

@@Arlesmon yeah but there's definitely a difference. Like in my country most people use facebook messenger to chat so it's common to ask to add you on facebook, like it's a thing everyone does if they wanna continue talking to that person and it's generally not seen as creepy. However if some guy that's been nothing but creepy asks for social media first of all it's usually Instagram (because potential photos of a girl) or Snapchat (because again potential photos of a girl). With creepy dudes there's also a difference in that when they get a "no" on giving one social media, they proceed with asking for another and another and another (Instagram? No. Snapchat? No. Facebook? No. Discord? No... And so on). But in the end it's only creepy because of their past behaviour and previous red flags, no one's gonna think a person is creepy if they're asking you for a way to stay in contact after a friendly conversation.

[@arjminder433]

I sometimes get worried when people don’t respond for a few days and I don’t try and shame people for it, sometimes I double text to see if they saw my message

[@CatastrophicGay]

As far as knowing things about someone, there's a big difference between, "I remember you told me your favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate!" and, "I overheard you telling someone else your phone number so I have it now"

[@Arlesmon]

Exactly, one is paying attention to conversations, and that's being thoughtful. But the other is creepy af

[@m3g4l0s3r]

You’re correct, also your name is very fitting for this

[@Jenna2k]

Extreme difference.

[@ReverieOfThorns]

Learned this one when I was like 12 (I was kinda creepy without realizing it in middle school...learned pretty quickly tho) and the fact there are people over like 16 maybe still acting like that out there us horrifying tbh

[@haroldasusus4684]

The clock in code is weird af. I could be railing you every night but I’m not learning that shit 😂

[@walruso5745]

I have a friend who dresses in the “e-girl” style who is often stalked around the city around shops and into cafes where men will just stare at her for an hour across the room. Some will even try to shoot their shot by coming over and saying hi with no idea they’ve been scaring this poor 4”11 gal to death. One dude even tried to catch the bus home with her a month ago. The lack of self awareness is kind of terrifying.

[@animental1]

She isn't scared and you sound like a simp

[@starojunes]

@@animental1 WOW you can tell exactly how people are feeling even without directly talking to them? You must be good at conversations and comforting people.

[@harrypotter2700]

@@animental1 I’m sure an internet stranger would totally know more about a girl than her actual real life friend. Come on man, get a grip. Caring about someone doesn’t make you a simp, keep thinking that way and you’ll become an incel.

[@Lis_Kid]

@@animental1 unless you're the girl he's talking about, you don't know what she's thinking/feeling

[@dogwelder9699]

@@starojunes it's a troll don't worry about it

[@nekovalley]

As the only dude cousin of some conventionally attractive girls, I see and hear a lot of stories about men following them places, even doordash delivery drivers acting weird at them when they drop off their food. I’ve also been the coworker of a girl (who was no more than a YOUNG teenager at the time) being hit on by creepy adult customers and even our own adult boss before. The only thing I can say to these guys is to just stop. She’s never going to fall in love with you, she’s either trying to go about her day or do her job, and if it seems like she’s into you being weird, she’s just trying to avoid being kidnapped when she goes home at night. LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE.

[@Arlesmon]

What would some of these guys have to do if they want to approach people and know them and eventually, if things go rights, get into a relationship?

[@Lis_Kid]

@@Arlesmon you're going about it wrong if you expect a relationship from the start. There is a time and a place to flirt with people and during work or while delivering food isn't it.

[@Arlesmon]

@@Lis_Kid what are generally the places to flirt with? And when it comes to work, in lunch time is ok to try that?

[@Lis_Kid]

@@Arlesmon generally speaking places where people come to meet new people. Flirting at the workplace is always a no go if you ask me, it's a professional environment and it should stay that way.

[@Arlesmon]

@@Lis_Kid So, bars, cafe, libraries, game places, parks (i don't know if that counts) or some events? I wouldn't necesarily say places that are to meet new people, but sopcial gatherings. And what happens if you happen to develop a crush on someone at work, you wait untill work is done?

[@ritachambers782]

"Learn things organically and bring it up later and people will find it endearing that you remembered" SO TRUE. I told a girl I was making cream puffs for christmas but couldn't figure out a flavor and she asked me WEEKS later if I figured it out and I'm irrevocably and heartbreakingly in love

[@eilir_adron]

omg the first time someone had actually remembered what i told them once, i thought i'd cry. we were just talking about random things in class and she mentions my favorite character from an anime she's never seen that i had vaguely rambled about forever ago and i was so shocked that she'd actually been listening to me and she seemed so confused why i was making a fuss about it. it's such a little thing, but it still made me really happy.

[@Angel_Kittichik]

My SO does this too with a lot of things I talk about. X3 He remembers a lot of little things that I like when used in art. Sometimes he gets my tastes off when he gifts me games, but that doesn't make me love him any less and I appreciate all of his efforts.

[@leruetheday377]

Just a note to guys reading the comments: DO NOT EVER PUT YOUR HANDS ON A WOMAN IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HER!!! If she's a client that has paid you for this or she is in a life threatening situation where you need to grab her to save her, then do it. But don't go up to some random woman in the parking lot, grocery store, bar, club, park, etc if you don't know her very well and know she's okay with being touched. Also, if she asks you to not touch her somewhere; don't stop for a little bit, then try again. That's disgusting

[@ineedanewname.8169]

Just a heads up for everyone: at least in the UK you need to ask permission to do first aid or other sort of on site healthcare stuff UNLESS someone is unconscious/non responsive and then there is assumed consent e.g. Someone having a stroke or someone who has fainted due to lack of oxygen, otherwise you can be charged with assault even if you are literally bandaging a wound or something. Obviously a lot of people wouldn't charge you with anything but I think it's important to point out.

[@lee-jj1js]

Also women dont grab up dudes you dont know either the amount of drunken women that I dont know who've tried to hug me or grab my arms on a night at work most dudes are ok with it but I'm not I honestly dont need that while im trying to do my job but I tell a woman to back off or refuse to hug some drunk ass chick and I'm the one in the wrong

[@leruetheday377]

@@lee-jj1js Also very important!

[@dirtymikentheboys5817]

NO. I do what I want. Who are you to deny my feelings.

[@p1nnysk3n1s]

@@dirtymikentheboys5817 why are you replying to every comment to defend being a sexual predator lol “who are you to deny my feelings” buddy, the LAW denies you your “feelings”. who are you to discredit the “feelings” of the women you’ve clearly followed/harassed/assaulted ? you realize you are not the only sentient human being that exists, and not the most special perfect boy that laws and morality don’t apply to ? “I do what I want” cool, I’m sure someone else will do what they want and press charges against you. gonna get mad then ? control yourself, even toddlers and dogs understand asking first and “no”. get therapy instead of lashing out and doubling down, there are services specifically designed to help people with warped viewpoints like yours

[@shawn-3561]

Hearing Cue be so open about his slip ups in the past is so comforting.

[@ThankNephew]

I feel like a lot of men just can’t see where we’re coming from when we complain about feeling unsafe. Like one time I was walking home at night with a guy friend who said he knew a shortcut through a bunch of back alleys. I had to basically drag him away because he could not see where I was coming from when I said I’d feel uncomfortable going that way.

[@schneir5]

If you want a specific example to help someone understand your fears, the kidnapping and murder of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom would probably work. I think most of us guys don't think stuff like that really happens, or like we're overconfident with our ability to protect ourselves and others. It really sucks that people have to treat each other like that.

[@brodienolan9906]

I’m a guy and I honestly feel the same way about alley ways so I can see where your coming from. I’m not very physically strong so I often stay on paths that usually have more light.

[@PinkCatsy]

Someone followed me around a dollar store when I was about 18 years old. I remember thinking that I was being paranoid but then he approached me as I was looking for birthday cards and asked me if "26 was too old" for me. I said yes.

[@winterspectre]

Ew ew ewww thats creepy

[@AngelaMerici12]

If something similar happens again talk to the cashier or mall security.

[@franl155]

Tell him you only date men with higher IQs

[@Arlesmon]

I have a certain question. if someone is 26 years old, what's the range they should date when it comes to a partner or if there's really not a range but it depends on the person in general?

[@CDPanda1111]

@@Arlesmon Someone suggested a rule where the youngest you date is half your age then add 7 (so for 26, that would be 20) and the oldest is your age, minus 7 then double it (so for 26, that would be 38). Obviously it depends on the people that what age gap they feel comfortable with but the rule gives a general idea.

[@jakerockznoodles]

I have autism and am always irritated by people who get indignant when others are creeped out by their behaviour. Growing up, I really struggled to understand what people were feeling or why my behaviour might make them feel a certain way. I had to learn that it didn't matter WHY people found the behaviour inappropriate or strange, what mattered was that they felt that way. I had to learn how to recognise when people were uncomfortable with something I was doing so I could get to the bottom of it and behave more appropriately. So when I see people who are better equipped to gauge the feelings of others and continue to make them uncomfortable regardless, it's infuriating. It shows a total lack of respect for other people and their boundaries. You don't get to tell other people what they should and shouldn't get creeped out by.

[@jolynecuster3381]

This!! I am also autistic and it sucks to live like this.

[@Skwishy121]

I'm autistic as well, and I agree 100%. It hurts us too, because people's first reaction won't be to explain, it'll be to lash out. At least in my experience with my friends.

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

Thank you.

[@harpoonlobotomy]

I was walking home today carrying some branches I found and a couple of guys joked about me building my own Christmas tree, and as I passed one stopped me to ask what I was doing with them. I explained that I was going to carve them, he was interested and asked where I was staying 'cause he'd be interested to see how they turn out. I was a bit vague and said 'nearby', maybe I'd post them online and he'd see them that way. He said cool, wished me luck and carried on walking. This dude, not a creep, just someone interested in what I was doing. The fact he listened to what I said and didn't push boundaries is what made it a positive interaction.

[@AmethystQtz]

The scariest instance of a man trying to follow me happened when I was getting food a few years ago. I noticed this dude parked near me with his window down looking at me but I ran in to get my food and get out. When I came back out to my car, he started asking for my phone number, not even my name or anything. I told him I was in a relationship and he started getting upset, asking 'what, why wont you take my number?! We cant just be friends?! Your bf doesnt let you have friends?!' Yall I shit you not he was YELLING! I ran to my car and locked the doors and waited for him to leave. He was crying in his car, then pulled out but parked a few rows behind me. I waited a few mins but he wouldn't leave, I knew he was going to try to follow me home. I ran back in the restaurant letting the workers know what's happening. The dude then gets out of his car and gets on his knees and starts screaming. This man for real was completely unhinged and this experience scares me to this day. Worst part was my boyfriend wasnt being supportive at all when I called him and I felt like I was bothering him :( :/

[@Angel_Kittichik]

That was awful! I can't express enough how much I hate that for you, especially since your bf was so dismissive. Seriously, make him understand how you felt in that situation, empathy is very important. He shouldn't make you feel like you're bothering him.

[@AprilBytheBay]

If you are in the same relationship with this man, please tell me you have set boundaries with him from this point. Otherwise I would get out. Being dismissive during a traumatic event that happened to you because it makes him uncomfortable is a sign of more abuse ahead in a lot of cases

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

If you're worried about someone following you home, you can try driving to the nearest police station. If that doesn't shake them, then at least you're in the right place to deal with that.

[@AmethystQtz]

@@AprilBytheBay wish I had listened to your comment sooner but it was always in the back of my head. I broke up with him 2 weeks ago, he was abusing my cat and dog by grabbing them by the neck and throwing them 😞

[@Providence..]

@@AmethystQtz As a man, that is seriously f'd up and I'm sorry you had to deal with those two. Some people can be such psychos...

[@kittysmith8959]

I've always taken notice of how my animals act around someone. If my nicest cat who likes everyone doesn't like someone then usually there's something wrong. There's been so many times I've ignored it and given someone a chance then ended up regretting it.

[@astralloser1177]

I live in a small town in the UK, and yes, people follow you home, with the excuse that “they just want to see you get home safe”. This individual turned into a full blown stalker. Unfortunately, some people are wired to think this way and it is so so dangerous…

[@rmansfield6]

This is maybe an obvious one, but men who are overly obsessed with virgins and/or a women's sexuality. I know it isn't 100% the same, but I am a bi guy and have gotten really creepy questions from men about my sexuality and history. Needless to say, those men got ignored

[@friendbright5375]

Not a girl, but I get mistaken for one in public just often enough to see red flags. One big red flag is this specific way that men talk about their plans when they want you to ask them to hang out or something- They talk about having free time, being bored, and how it would be fun to talk to you without directly asking for your number. It's really uncomfortable and only super pushy guys tend to do it- One time, this guy came into the restaurant I was working as a cashier at (pseudo-fast food type place) and followed me around while I cleaned the lobby just repeating how he wished there was some way for us to hang out. I responded every time with something along the lines of "I work here almost every morning, drop by to visit us again! :)" This continued for SEVERAL minutes until one of my obviously male coworkers came up front to talk to me and that guy was out the door in a fraction of a second. If anyone talks about their empty schedule or lack of plans, it immediately sets off alarm bells for me unless they leave immediately afterwards

[@morrowcosom]

A funny awkward situation is when the guy starts hitting on you while he is behind you and then gets embarrassed when he sees your face

[@fanime1]

As a girl who's had to deal with guys like this, I can confirm this is true.

[@Tiepobadaae]

When I was in high school, there was a guy who would insist on walking me to class, even though I knew his class was far away. He would follow me even if I took a detour. But he also once told me very proudly about personal info he had learned about me by finding a copy of my schedule at the office. He was a creep for many reasons tho, including an obsession with knives and guns which he eventually got expelled for. Needless to say I did not feel safe around him.

[@bearowl4101]

I’m kind of mixed on the “not knowing your audience” part. It can be a sign that they’re creepy, for sure, but they could also be autistic and mean well but struggle to understand social cues. This isn’t excusing the really creepy stuff like sexual assault, of course, but I can imagine a neurodivergent person being excited to tell everyone something they just found out about without realising that this isn’t the situation to talk about it.

[@365ral]

"Not knowing what's inappropriate is creepy." As someone with Asperger's, I felt that.

[@Arlesmon]

But don't worry, those things are learned. Living with autism is difficult and some social cues will be hard to understand, but you'll get them if you put hard effort

[@plebisMaximus]

@@Arlesmon I will never understand it, but not speaking unless spoken to is working out for me fine so far.

[@jsas2047]

I have adhd so understanding social cues is kinda hard for me too. I actually developed a social phobia because of it lol. In general from what I've learned, for strangers/coworkers/people you just don't know that personally: - don't touch them (just keep the corona distance and it should be fine) -don't ask them personal/intimate questions (about their body, sexual things, etc. And like full name, address, etc) like if a doctor or a police officer would ask it then don't, and the other way around too (don't just tell them stuff) If they're your friends tell them to actually tell when you shouldn't do something and to not just drop clues. All other mistakes will maybe make you wierd but not creepy. So far this worked great for me :)

[@ladyv5655]

My nephew is on the spectrum and is low functioning but he understands what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

[@MorgueAnomaly]

@@ladyv5655 great for him…. Good job comparing the “functionality” of autistic people…. Not generally a great move, man.

[@ellaphx]

Yes, some guys will follow you around/follow you home. It’s very unnerving.

[@ElleriaZer]

When I worked retail, long ago, I had a guy that would come in and follow me around my workplace. Then my boss threatened to fire me when I started carrying pepper spray because it was a "danger to customers".

[@marcussinclaire4890]

That's fucked, like what!? I can't understand how someone would think that is appropriate in anyway.

[@RaspBerryPies]

@@marcussinclaire4890 I really don't know why either. Probably cause they're just stalkers but a small percentage could be that they're following medias view on romance. Like in movies people might find that endearing, a good example I can think of is the musical/movie Waitress where the song "Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me" is shown as romantic. The song does go hard but irl it is VERY CREEPY. If you want context she went a blind date with the man. She didn't hit it off but he thought it went well so he shows up to her work and sings and gives her flowers and basically says he's her BF and is here to stay and "I love you means you're never ever gettin rid of me!" . Again the song is a BOP but yeah it's uhhh questionable.

[@AmethystQtz]

This happens to me. It's important to stay vigilant and trust your gut. It's disgusting behavior and has made me lose a lot of faith in humans.

[@houselightkell]

Really hope that's not a common thing

[@Dizzaton]

Yup, been followed places a lot as a woman. Been followed around streets, on public transport (walked the entire length of the train giving this one bastard horrified looks before he got the eventual message), followed back to my hotel while on business trips etc. Very common experience and very annoying, but when you tell them to fuck off they get mad lol

[@raccoon.pies.]

Why is it always more common in a city or public area where there’s tons of witnesses

[@Dizzaton]

@@raccoon.pies. my running theory for this is because the men who do it think it's totally fine to. Absolutely never read the room in their lives

[@Nevertoleave]

@@raccoon.pies. I think it’s sheer numbers and effective public transportation. If 1 in a thousand people follow people around and you live in a city of millions there’s going to be a lot of this happening, especially if everyone used trains, bus, whatever to get around. But in a small community of like a thousand it’s just Jeff the weirdo and you call his parents. I live in a middle sized city with a very bad public transportation system and all the creeps I’ve had were when I took the bus. Grown adult begging, be my girlfriend, trying to make me feel bad for them like it was some romance manga and I wasn’t a minor trapped on a bus, alone at night. Hitting on me at the transfer stops even after I tell them no and they follow me onto the bus. Or putting their hands on my leg or shoulders even after saying no so I jumped off at the next stop without warning and ran to a friend’s house and waited for the bus to pass by going to other way before going home. I started driving and it stopped being a problem, mostly. Had one creep that took advantage of the fact we worked close be each other

[@raccoon.pies.]

@@Nevertoleave I think you’re totally right and I’m sorry you’ve had that bad of an experience Jesus Christ…I’ve only had the occasional old man staring at me or winking and making kissy faces begging me to give him a chance but it mostly happened on the bus and around lower income areas. Like I used to have a job in the semi-hood and it would happen so much (just toothless old men asking to take me home) but the point that really scared me was when a coworker said a guy came in and asked for me by name when I was on my break and i had no clue who the guy was judging by his description my coworker gave and ever since that I started carrying my pocket knife with me at all times. If you don’t already have some sort of self defense item, I’d get one. If you don’t like knives or tasers you can get the hard plastic brass knuckles or do the old fashion key trick

[@mustbetheSUN]

Right, it only happened to me once. The dude followed me for five blocks, calling me names, and when I finally told him to f*ck off he went all "whoa whoa calm your t*ts, lady" as if I were the crazy one.

[@elikourtis3403]

the first post is so scarily accurate, when i was in eleventh grade i was followed all the way home on the bus by some grown man just because he wanted to ask me out (i was also in my school uniform and camp hoodie and was Very Clearly a high school student)

[@RaspBerryPies]

4:30 This was my ex to me. Even after we dated he still had this very not accurate concept of who I was and what I stood for. For example I talk all the time about how much I love tattoos and told him how excited I was to finally start working on getting a sleeve (I'm at a half sleeve now

[@lavinacrux8108]

Wasn't mentioned in the video but this is a BIG one for me. At least once a month I'll get a comment from one of my male coworkers. "You've got a sexy phone voice" "Don't tell me you are a call girl, you are too sweet for that." Or worse "Ya know, I didn't appreciate how you tease me with that sensual voice of yours over our call last night." And they always say it in a half joking tone like it's completely fine to do so. Occasionally they will keep egging on like it's a game they want me to participate in; as if they expect me to flirt with them after a comment like that. All im doing is calling to see if these people can cover a shift. Granted I don't speak to them in my higher "customer service" pitch, but I shouldn't have to. It's usually from an older single man and I doesn't matter how long I've been working at that location with them. (I move for work quite a bit and the scene hasn't changed) Once it was from a woman, but I was friends enough with her to not be creeped out, and she definitely didn't say it in a way that made me feel like I was the one in the wrong. Idk if they men in this situation think they are being nice? But no one wants to know that their coworkers are having inappropriate thoughts about them. Plz stop. As soon as someone says this shit to me in the tone they use they go on me to-avoid-list.

[@rn2787]

Thoughtful: Remembering that I like cats because I talk about cats and talk about having cats. Creepy: Telling me that I need to mow my lawn because the grass is out of control. (Don't date coworkers unless you have put in your 2 week notice. Seriously don't pee in your own backyard it rarely works out well.)

[@ruse_d_news]

I worked with a guy that you could tell was just off from the start. He was just creepy. He was in his 30's or 40's. He ate with groans like he was having fun with himself. He bought a girl a coffee and asked her where he could buy condoms since he had a 'hot date' that night. He eventually got fired for not doing his job because he was too busy following a girl around in a small area.

[@alexsm3882]

The following around thing happened with a friend of mine, total incel following her and being obsessed with her because she gave him a modicum of attention, which I did warn her not to do beforehand lol

[@persephone7702]

Had a guy leave a store just to follow after me and ask if I was single. Yes, he was running to me. Yes, it was the middle of the night. Yes. I was terrified.

[@nekoneko3838]

Yep had a guy follow me across campus asking for my phone number and wouldn't leave me alone even after I said no thank you.

[@Morgan-Wesley-Parker]

I had to get bloods done recently 3 blood draws over three hours for a diabetes test for pregnancy and one of the nurses who was with me alone most of the time kept rubbing my shoulders, I still feel really sick thinking about it, he’d make comments about my tattoos and touch them as he was talking about them. I couldn’t say anything because this guy is literally taking my blood with needles and I was stuck there for 3 hours with him. I’ll definitely never go back to that place again. I felt like I couldn’t complain afterwards because it wasn’t like he grabbed my chest or something so I felt like I wouldn’t be taken seriously.

[@ineedanewname.8169]

A complaint wouldn't be unjustified, that is absolutely innapropriate conduct with a patient, especially if you're not going back its not like you have to go see them every other week or even every month. There might be a way you can complain anonymously like a tip off line or a medical body/organisation that would at least give you a degree of separation from the person you are complaining about? Even if they can't prove anything they might put a note in his record that gets passed on to future hospitals that might prevent him working in a similar power of position again, or at least means someone else is in the room with him in future. Your decision at the end of the day and I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable comaining. Glad to hear you have the option to go elsewhere for future treatments and such.

[@mommat794]

Let the place know. Sure bet you're not the only one he's done that to. If you don't then he's going to do it again to more women.

[@toffeefeathers]

Guy I met second day of school followed me to a museum after I said I wasn’t interested in him. That solidified that I didn’t want to be around him, even as a friend. Sad, because I thought he was sweet and lonely but he ruined his chance to know me

[@emmapolly4260]

I've been followed home twice (that I know of.) With the first one I went into a shopping centre and hid from him. The second one I confronted. He didn't speak English very well, so when I asked 'What do you want? Why are you following me?' He thought for a little while and just said 'You.' That was really scary because he wouldn't leave me alone after that.

[@shawntayann]

I have been followed a few times. The most unnerving time was when a guy in a car circled the street several times to watch me, and was starring at my butt. He didn't stop doing this until I stopped walking and starred at him. He stopped the car and asked do I need a ride. I was only 14, I said no thank you and just stood there until he pulled off. Super creepy, I feel like he would have tried to kidnap me if I got to a less busy street.

[@jessikajynx]

I had a dude follow me home (busy main Street with plenty of people thankfully) and the closer I got to my building the louder I got saying "no thank you, I have a boyfriend" and he still wouldn't leave me alone. I called my best friend and acted like he was my boyfriend asking him to come meet me cause a dude was following me. The guy finally left after the threat of another man coming. Thank goodness it didn't escalate further.

[@woof6056]

Every once in a while I get a dm from random guys on instagram. I always try to tell them gently that I'm not really interested in talking to random strangers, to which they typically start spamming me with messages trying to "get to know me". Just remember, no means no, and "I'm not interested in talking to random guys on instagram" does not mean "ask me a million questions", it mean leave me alone.

[@19nmiller1]

Ugh that first one really spoke to me. I was once walking with a group of friends and this one very creepy dude purposely isolated me from the group and made us lag behind in order to weirdly flirt with me. He made me give him my number, I was so flustered that I just gave it to him in order to get him away. He then proceeded to text me quite often with more and more sexual questions. I had to block his number and completely change my walking patterns to class and stuff because he would keep "accidentally" running into me.

[@CassandraHoggins]

I’ve definitely been followed on several locations. Several times nearly to my apartment. You have to get really crazy and aggressive to get them to leave you alone.

[@cyostark]

I got followed by some guy randomly going home one day… he was walking when he saw me waiting at the bus stop & started trying to talk to me. He came in the bus & had no bus fare so he had to ask for a ride… he then proceeded to sit beside me so I got up & got off . When he tried to follow I just went into a business & he left. So scary

[@Lord-zu7zk]

Sometimes I thank the gods I'm not conventionally attractive and have autism. The rare men who do try to chat me up are immediately turned off by my "rude" (blunt and straightfoward) way of talking

[@sierratree93]

Men are way scarier than they seem to realize sometimes. Staring, watching you from a distance, following you, persisting to ask when you don't want to go out with them/don't want to give them your number... I had a guy come to my job every day for at least a month to demand to know why I wouldn't go out with him, as that in any way helped the cause. He even came by when I was supposed to leave at night, and he started beating on the doors when I wouldn't let him in the store. I called the police and had to leave my car there and let the cops drive me home. After that the guy came back again and cornered me in the stock room. I started screaming and threatening him with a box cutter until he ran out the back door and set the alarms off. My manager thought the situation was so hilarious that he never banned the guy from the store or anything.

[@saltywizard3095]

Honnestly, as a younger woman, the older shoulder guys freak me out and put me on edge. I was working (gymnastics coach) and this man around the same age as my father (mid-late fifties) came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders and told me that I was the most interesting person he'd met all day. I was wearing a short sports top. I really dislike it when people touch my back and shoulders in general, but something about a man who is my father's age that I have only met fifteen minutes ago touch me just put me on edge, I could barely focus on coaching his daughter/granddaughter after that because I could feel him watching me the whole time. I was hot, even in my sports shirt (not uniform) but I went and put my uniform back on until well after he'd left.

[@Elpresidente98]

I definitely have some trouble with noticing social cues. But I think I do a relatively good job. I can generally gauge my audience and as such I don't think I've come off as creepy to any of my friends or co-workers. At least now, I definitely used to a few years ago but I've learned and have gotten better. My social skills are getting better and I'm proud I've come as far as I have. I have to work on it a lot still but I am constantly.

[@Arlesmon]

Did you had a bad experience at a certain time or not? It's mostyl to know if learning it came from just obserrvation or experience

[@Elpresidente98]

@@Arlesmon Yeah I had quite a few bad experiences where I learned that I was doing something wrong. Mostly in my teens. When I got to early adulthood as well but not as many. All of those I took as learning experiences. Everytime I could feel or see the bad reaction of a friend or co-worker I made a mental note to fix my actions/words. It was slow, but it definitely works.

[@kevinb314]

I was hoping this would be a little insightful to things normal guys might not be as aware of, but damn... Its basically "I hate it when guys spy on me in the bushes outside of my house every night, and have a voodoo doll made from my hair that they have collected over the years"

[@leruetheday377]

Unfortunately, some "normal" guys think some of this stuff is normal. Following home and touching without permission are terrifyingly common

[@p1nnysk3n1s]

at the very least half of my male friends have done this stuff or worse to me, and that’s not even mentioning strangers. all unassuming and relatively normal dudes that were good in lots of other ways. a lot of guys don’t recognize the fact that on some intrinsic and fundamental level, they don’t view women as fully formed human beings to the same effect that they do men and so they don’t recognize the little things :/

[@leruetheday377]

@@p1nnysk3n1s Please tell me your male friends stopped after you mentioned it or are now ex-friends

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

Yeah. I think the kind of guy who is concerned enough with women's comfort to seek out videos like this is already not the problem.

[@elizaalmabuena]

Buying your love behaviors are a red flag for me. Basically an insistence to pay for everything if we meet up and bringing gifts too; occasionally offering to pay for something cheap is cute and sweet, gifts every time we meet up and complete denial of me using my money in their presence....bye. Double red flag if they additionally complain about paying for stuff (generally accompanied with a passive aggressive suggestion to go to their house). Triple if they include 'I won't rape you' to the suggestion to go to their house 😓 also drunk texting.... with a heads up message 'I'm going out with friends/family later, sorry if I drunk text you'

[@Gankstomper]

This is tough because there's also women who will think you're a loser unless you insist on paying for everything. I guess you don't think about that.

[@elizaalmabuena]

@@Gankstomper to be fair on that point: I explicitly bring up paying them back, paying for the next outing, that I have it covered, etc.

[@SasoAkasuna]

@@Gankstomper yeah, you may want to stay away from that kind of people tbh, it's another kind of red flag. I feel like its okay to want it maybe for the first date, but if they want you to pay for everything all the time and make you feel bad for not wanting or not being able to, better walk away

[@lancelotdubois7694]

This is an actual male instict to give and be reliable

[@keep7smiling]

@@elizaalmabuena oof, I feel so bad for you hearing about men with child-like mentalities. That sounds extremely upsetting to deal with. At the same time, these kind of experiences will eventually lead to you finding a happy, healthy partnership where both of you are on equal terms. Figuring out how you don't want to be treated, brings you closer to how you do want to be treated. I hope for the best for you, cheers!

[@littlefoxygirlgreyhound1370]

Red flags for me (based on experience): 1. He constantly makes sexual jokes when you are obviously uncomfortable by it (I was groped by a special ed kid and G ,guy making the jokes, reminds me of him) 2. He stares at you for a long time and you KNOW he’s not daydreaming. 3. He tries to get your attention by saying your name when you both have never interacted besides school projects and have never personally known each other.

[@SpookiCooki]

When they insist that I should drink. When I was 18 this odd guy kept staring and smiling at me at this pub (or whatever I should call it) and he wanted me to have his drink so he literally POURED IT into my mouth. Then he went and bought a new drink to pour into me. Thankfully my friends dads friend came over, put his hand on my shoulder and introduced himself as my dad. I played along. The oddball dropped his smile and looked outright scared. Then he walked away without saying another word. We had a laugh about it. Months later my friend was at a party in the dads friends house and the oddball showed up. They shared an acquaintance who went there with the oddball. The oddball actually asked him "where's your daughter?" and he replied he didn't have one. He had completely forgotten about that incident but the oddball got silent and didn't speak for the entire evening according to my friend. Also, I never saw him again.

[@missm.e9914]

a guy who agrees with everything you say clearly just because they want you to like them really creeps me out. I mean like when you're trying to get to know them and its all "do you like Marvel?" me "I',v been more into DC lately" "Oh yeah DC the best I hate Marvel" "oh I like Marvel as well I've just been more into Batman and stuff lately" "Oh yes I like Marvel and Batman too that's what I meant" In the end you have no idea what their real opinion is and it shows a lack of self confidence and a willingness to lie to your face. supper creepy and kind of condescending because I don't know why they think you won't notice they're just saying whatever to get on your good side.

[@Arlesmon]

Yeah, you're probably going to know that eventually when you pull those thigns or remind them of a certain thing later to see if they're being genuine or they're trying to impress you

[@arjminder433]

That isn’t being creepy, that’s being desperate and a lot of guys are like that when they have a crush on someone so stop demonizing it, I hate how you think that lack of self confidence is creepy, so what if a guy is agreeing with everything you say he isn’t backing you into a wall demanding sex or nudes like shut up. I’m not saying I do this crap but like there are some guys out there that just do that cause they don’t really know how to get the girl attracted to them there just guys who don’t what to do with their feelings it isn’t creepy, it’s being desperate stop trying to shine a bad light on people who aren’t great at socializing.

[@arjminder433]

By your logic that lack of self confidence is creepy is basically you saying that people who are like autistic or just introverted are creepy, it’s completely stupid, what you are describing is not creepy that’s just lack of socialization with other people from being introverted or whatever their problem is. Being creepy is constantly asking the girl out on dates when she’s clearly not interested and says no or when the guy starts saying sexual crap that is weird and asks for nudes there is a difference.

[@wockio205]

@@arjminder433 Holy seethe. Grow a spine and form opinions of your own.

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

@@arjminder433 It's a little more than that, though. I don't think anyone's trying to say this kind of person is a depraved predator or serial killer or something, but acting like you can just lie your way into making someone like you sort of implies you don't really understand or think of them as a person. However good your intentions may be, you're treating them like a passive element of your environment that you're supposed to trick and manipulate. Also, ironically, I'm convinced this type of mindset is a huge contributor to the awkwardness and lack of confidence you mentioned. If you're thinking you're supposed to be able to make anyone like you, I'd imagine any rejection would feel like a crushing personal failure, and for me personally some of the best advice I ever got for overcoming my own social anxiety and awkwardness was to stop stressing out about trying to come across a certain way, and to instead focus on the other person: what they're saying and feeling, what they do and don't like. Just try to understand people, and interact with them honestly, and you kind of forget to be awkward.

[@Chelseaaa626]

0:47, I live in a city and yes this is fairly common. I usually don’t go to my house when I notice people following me and will extend my walk or pop into a public space until they leave. I’ve yet to have someone follow me into a restaurant or store. For example, just a month ago I was walking in a park. And I probably walked around the park for about an hour. Towards the end of my walk this man approached me (I had seen him a few times at this point waking near/ by me). And he asks ”what were you drinking earlier? Do you live around here? Where do you live?”. I had bought a cold brew earlier but at this point did not have any cups in my hand. This guy literally asked me about my cold brew from 45ish minutes ago. He clearly has been watching me the whole time. And that’s just one of many stories. I’ve only lives in this city for a year.

[@KitsuNerezza]

I lived in a city until a few years ago and second the "guys following you around" part; not only was it a nearly *daily* occurrence, but I also just can't believe they think walking next to/behind a woman who said she's not interested and put her headphones back while ignoring them as they catcall or talk to her means they'll get a shot. What do they expect? For us to say "congrats! you passed the test now that you've been harassing, talking and following me for a dozen of minutes despite me not saying a word back to you, now I'll definitely say yes"? No means "no", not "change my mind." I would silently pray that they don't somehow found where I lived, especially the ones that would walk next to me or behind me for 10-15 minutes no matter how many detours I took, even when they brought us back to somewhere we were before. Going out after 6PM was absolutely out of the question for me.

[@tehjesh5994]

Went to school with a guy who I just felt off about but was friends with him regardless, we ended up going to the same summer camp and he told the whole camp we where dating when I wasn’t interested at all. Worst part is that the camp counsellors made us slow dance together or be forced to stand aside and not participate in the last camp day events. He didn’t protest ofc, Was awkward seeing him in class in the fall, he didn’t talk to me ever again so I think he knew what he did was a creepy thing to do.

[@Arlesmon]

Hopefully that experience helped him to know boundaries and improve for the better

[@ok3097]

When i went to school there was a guy who would wait for me at the bus station and talk to me like we were childhood friends when in reality i didnt know him, we didnt even went to the same school, he could only see me (if he was lucky) around 7am it was so weird. Or the dudes that would stop you to tell you "smile"

[@Jenna2k]

Next time tell them that *insert sad thing* happened and that you can't right now. Bonus if you can cry on demand. Also asking if they would tell a guy that and making them explain why they wouldn't but told you.

[@anopinion1349]

I haven't seen one of your videos in what feels like forever 27 seconds in and feels so happy and nostalgic, very happy this popped up in my recommended 💕

[@rubes3915]

My biggest red flag (and only red flag to be honest since I'm not big on dating right now) was when a guy I had been snapchatting with confessed his crush on me after 9 days of snapping back and forth and in a moment of panic I said we'll see how it goes and sometime after that came back and told him I was caught off guard and didn't really even know him and he went off. Not even in a angry way but he'd send me snaps where he was crying and he told me how this always happens to him and that he always thinks he has found "the one" and that once again his heart had been crushed and basically I listened to his woes kinda shocked. I definitely hadn't expected this guy to confess his crush to me after about a week of not even really knowing each other but just snapping. So yeah, not the biggest red flag you see out there but definitely major enough for me to hit the brakes

[@Arlesmon]

What will you tell them if this happens again? And If i develop a crush on someone, i try to at least wait for a month or 2 to see if i confess that I have a crush on them, or take more time if needed. I really don't know for how long one has to wait before saying those things

[@lancelotdubois7694]

Women don't understand the utter LONELINESS some men are in.

[@m3g4l0s3r]

@@lancelotdubois7694 you’re like You’re like joking right

[@starojunes]

@@lancelotdubois7694 ok??? That's not some random woman's problem to deal with tho. Find online communities to make friends with. Find out what hobbies interest you and then see if there are local groups for those in your area. I have a local community garden by me where people help plant and grow food for foodbanks. DONT expect to get a romantic relationship out of going to places like these tho. Go to possibly make friends and to feel less lonely.

[@Arlesmon]

@@starojunes THough, one way to get into a relationship is to make friends, and those friends can hook up with other friends. So there's a benefict to going to local groups or social gatherings, even if the intent isn't to get a partner right away. Thouhg in online communities, it depends and it will be kinda harder if it's an online relaitonship, but not impossible, it can work

[@Cyrum11]

This made me realize that I am in fact not a creep

[@heatherharrison264]

I find it creepy when guys brag about how much money they have and/or try to throw money around. In a bar where I go regularly, a guy who I encountered sporadically a few years ago tried to pull that on me, even going so far as to mention his private aircraft and offer to fly me to wherever it was he lived. I had only ever talked to this guy for a few minutes on a couple occasions. He was a fast talker, bragging incessantly about his supposed riches. He probably thought of himself as the ultimate Chad, but I just found him moderately annoying. Needless to say, I did not take him up on the offer. I'm not interested in hooking up with anyone - not even someone who isn't creepy, but even if I was, something like this would never work on me. Beware of random men promising riches - there is bound to be a terrible price to pay for taking him up on his "generous" offer.

[@ThatOneOtherFangirl]

Yeah, the following around is a big issue. It's part of why I gravitate towards intimidating looking friends. I'm rather average in height and a little heavier, but trust me when I say ppl are more creepy when you're dressed goth

[@leruetheday377]

I hope to one day be the intimidating looking friend, despite being a curvy, 5'7 woman

[@Arlesmon]

It's only because the people who are attracted to goth, (not all of them of course) tend to be more socially akward, in the best case scenario and don't know boundaries.

[@jordanjoestar-turniptruck]

@@leruetheday377 it's possible. I've had to chaperone for my roommates, my sisters...my mom...and I eventually developed a pretty decent "scary auntie" persona.

[@leruetheday377]

@@jordanjoestar-turniptruck I'm gonna get fuckin ripped

[@jordanjoestar-turniptruck]

@@leruetheday377 fuck yeah

[@laughableInflection]

One Christmas my family and i were walking around a city to see the lights and ended up going into a mall area to use the restrooms, I walk a little faster so i was ahead of them. We were walking by people and, like a normal person, i would politely smile and nod if i made eye contact. One of those people, a man quite a bit taller than I, decided to come up to me and repeatedly ask to walk with me as well as ask me questions about myself and didn't stop until i said i was with my family and gestured to them. I was only 14 or so. I dont smile at strangers anymore.

[@fanime1]

Yes, I've been followed home before and since I don't have a car, it's double scary for me. I used to rely on the bus/walking. There's no way I can trick them. Luckily my apartment at the time was always locked but I got a couple of stalkers in my time there.

[@clairebear-96]

I’ll agree with what you said about, don’t put women/people in general on a pedestal - i’m a human, i have flaws, anyone telling me i’m perfect makes me uncomfortable lmao

[@Promthanius]

One time I got followed around town from the grocery store to the mall to my house. I was so paranoid I couldn’t sleep for two days but I still went to work because I knew I was safe there but I could not lay my head down knowing this person knew where I slept. It was a miserable three days

[@yddub1212]

Wasn't sure if this would be a healthy red flags list or one of the bizarre ones like "watch out for guys who are too short or wear sweat pants." If only actual creep behavior wasn't so much of a thing.

[@Comicbrooke]

I also live in a big city. I have been followed between train cars multiple times and followed home from the train station by multiple men. It is terrifying.

[@Morgan-Wesley-Parker]

I saw a KZbinr recently react to a tiktok where a guy said something along the lines of “when I sent a video of myself crying so she’d feel sorry for me but she shared it with people” like, dude, you admit that you were trying to manipulate her and it backfired probably because you’ve done this before and she knew what you were doing. Anyway the KZbinr said that if the roles were reversed it wouldn’t be okay that it were shared and I can agree in SOME instances but that just isn’t the case here. No matter your gender, manipulation is messed up, it was such a stupid take.

[@LKTori]

pretty sure hes that meme now too

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

I'm pretty sure "if the roles were reversed" is literally that meme of a girl fake-crying over a voicemail being dubbed over various motor vehicles.

[@CaptainRipHunter]

This video helps a lot cause I have soooo much trouble reading people and I really try to fit in with others but most of the time I fall flat on my face lol

[@ClayScarlett]

The 'following' thing definitely happens, & more often than I think alot of folks realise. I'm staying in a city centre for work atm, and sometimes when I leave my lodgings, a man who was just standing on the corner for example, will start walking after me after I pass them. I know they're actually following me as they hold back once I get in my car and then mooch back on over to the main street - my way of dealing with this if someone is getting too close is to stop walking and look them in the face. I want to make to clear I know what they're at and that I can identify them now. Last time I did that the guy just balked, turned on his heel and went into the nearest shop... I used to be more scared of that kind of behaviour, now I feel more indignant - like how dare they make me feel like I can't/shouldn't live my life in peace yknow... Stay safe all ✌

[@Jenna2k]

Next time lead them to a public place and yell at them to stop following you. Shame them publicly. They won't stop being predators because they don't get any consequences for it.

[@normalhuman8608]

Knowing personal little things without being told isn’t straight out creepy. For example, knowing someone go-to snack or a common habit is okay. But knowing their license plate by heart is way creepy. IDK, I could be wrong.

[@AprilBytheBay]

I don’t even know my fiancés license minus the three letters

[@AprilBytheBay]

@Gupster 23 keep my man’s safe out there okay?

[@AprilBytheBay]

@Gupster 23 oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️ you’ll have to pry him from his three monitors he uses to play old school RuneScape. He eats a mix of dry food and wet food, but is very sufficient and will make his meals if the food is available.

[@Artquillproductions]

"Would you do something for me then?" Is a common phrase more than once from my current significant other.

[@willverschneider1102]

Being socially awkward myself, I have to go to great lengths not to make people feel uncomfortable. I avoid any unnecessary conversation, avoid eye contact, and mind my own business by staring into my phone. If I'm walking down a sidewalk and see a woman ahead, I slow down and let her pass. Anything to avoid the dreaded "creep" label.

[@alexturner774]

I'm a pre transition trans guy so I don't pass at all as a guy, meaning other men still creep on me, I'm excited for the day I pass as a man so other men don't prey on me

[@leifruneborn5485]

Hang in there Alex, you got this.

[@na-ky8ou]

A "pre transition trans man"...so a woman looking like a woman.

[@Promthanius]

About laying their hands on you. I’ve never had a man once try to tickle me without trying to grip my boobs. Don’t do it. It’s not cute. It’s disgusting. We know what you’re up to

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

Entitlement is what gets me every time. If you are acting entitled to info about me, my time or my personal space, I always think you're a creep & it has zero to do with your level of conventional attractiveness. A hot guy who treats you like an object or prey is still a guy who is treating you like an object or prey. It feels gross no matter who is doing it.

[@thewatcheronthewall8532]

My girlfriend is a wheelchair user, she paralyzed from her waist down . She gets from proper creeps inboxing her. Obsessing over her feet, fetishizing her wheelchair, sexual comments about her paralysis, seriously inappropriate comments about the effects of her disability on her body. Freaky Questions about how she goes about having sex. Seriously weird shit about diapers/catheters/bodily functions, fetishizing her disability. It’s always the same weirdos who live in their mothers basement, who hate women, who are scared of women, who have an aversion to soap and who probably wear joggers that stink of piss. I feel so angry and upset that my amazing girl is subjected to this. No women should be ever be subjected to the disgusting, disrespectful and awful things my partner is. Some of the vile things have left my partner disgusted, shaken and frightened. God help these animals should I ever get my hands on them!

[@Tsuchiyomi]

I personally, and unfortunately, am tbe guy that over shares, and gets clingy, I know it's due to my shitty friendships during childhood, and into my young adult life. I have lost potentially good friends (embarrassingly in my 20's) by thinking I'm closer to someone than they do, and drastically oversharing information, and constantly asking to do things, I'm just worried they'll get bored of me and drop me as a friend (that was basically every friendship growing up) I have been working on it tho! I think I'm getting better with my social skills!

[@ThriftShopTunes]

Yeah I can relate but I'm a woman so it's usually seen as cringy or annoying at worst. Men have to worry about being seen as creepy because unfortunately many men who do this are a threat. Either way as long as you're self aware and respect boundaries you're good. I've had guys do things that made me uncomfortable and when I told them they respected it and backed off, however I've had others get angry or offended. You can guess which ones I considered creepy and a threat and which ones I kept talking to lol.

[@Tsuchiyomi]

@@ThriftShopTunes I usually just get sad lol. But yeah I'm doing my best to work on it. But it's made harder cause the 2 good friends I do have LOVE listening to me and helping me with my issues so it's just like second nature to share a lot. :

[@Grimmistired]

I think what makes this become creepy is when you're obviously only acting towards women that way because you want them to baby you.

[@Tsuchiyomi]

@@Grimmistired do I tho? I see it more as just wanting someone to listen to me.

[@Grimmistired]

@@Tsuchiyomi i wasn't saying you do I was saying thats when guys come off as creepy

[@saara1290]

Not Cue having to massage the bruised egos of male viewers by making the disclaimer at the end.....and yet still having guys in the comments attacking women for talking about their experiences

[@saara1290]

You did your best Cue, but there's only so much you can do

[@mattgieslerrocks]

I hate myself for being like that when I was younger. If I knew better back then, I would not have done any of those things.

[@ladyv5655]

I met a guy and on our first date he kept talking about his sexual past, how many girls he'd been with, specific things he wanted me to do to him sexually and wanting to know details about my sexual history. He assumed we were going to do it. Spoiler, we didn't.

[@Grimmistired]

Guilt trip flirting. I just got done telling this guy off who I was trying to be friends with. I had already told him I'm not interested in dating just wanted a friend. Yet he kept acting weird. Sent me a text saying "ngl I just want you to hold me and tell me it's gonna be ok" ewww I blocked him on insta and then he he texted me through my phone number. I don't know why he didn't just realize to give up after that. I went off on him when he tried to act like I was the bad guy for not babying him. It was pathetic and hilarious

[@Lyca31]

Well my big red flag would be when guys talk to and show interest in girls much younger than themselves. When I was around 14-15 I had a job in a local guest house. My job entailed tidying and cleaning the rooms after guests had left, and hoovering the main living/tv areas etc. Anyway, there was this chef guy who worked there 'David' David looked around 35-40. I thought he was older than my dad. Well one day me and a few of the girls who worked there all decided we would go to the beach after work. (we pretty much only worked mornings and the guest house was five minutes walk from the beach) We decided we would put our swimming costumes on under our work overalls. (The overalls were typical late 80s cleaning attire. They came down to our calves and were fastened by a row of press studs down the front) David would always hang around after he'd finished the guests breakfasts and hang around in the common/tv areas while we cleaned, polished and hoovered. I was a dumb naive little kid at 14-15. I barely knew the facts of life and was socially young for my years. I'd been brought up very old fashioned and strictly. Listen and obey adults. Don't talk back and so on. Anyway, silly little me never saw any red flags from David talking to us. If anything I was kind of flattered that a grown up was taking me seriously enough to talk to me. He seemed to talk to me much more than the other girls. On this particular morning he'd asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day. I'd excitedly told him we were going to the beach for a sunbathe and a swim. I mentioned I was ready because I had my costume on under my overall. He then walked up to me, (we were alone at that time, my three friends were doing something else) he shoved me so hard I fell backwards onto the sofa. He came right up to me and said something like "well lets have a look" and he grabbed my overall and ripped it open. All the studs popped open revealing my very modest, school navy blue one piece costume. I don't fully remember what happened next. It's a bit of a blur. I remember getting up and running. I don't remember saying anything to my friends or even if I went to the beach afterwards. I know I never went back to the hotel. I just left my job. I remember blaming myself because I'd mentioned I was wearing a swimming costume. I kept thinking 'why did I tell him that?' What makes this 100 times more gross is how I looked at 14-15. I was tiny. Much smaller than any of my peers. Most folks would say to my mum: She's 15? I thought she was about 10 or 11 and stuff like that. So yeah. I wish I'd have told someone about that creep, but I was so terrified I'd get into trouble.

[@elfdragon1227]

Even when both are adults, I feel like the same can be said. I'm 32 now, but have been told I still look in my mid to late 20s and the amount of times I've been approached by random 50+ year old men is... Concerning. One was even completely white in hair and beard, coming onto me, suggesting I go to his house and make him lunch because he happened to be doing a favor for me (I don't really trust favors from men I don't know very well anymore). Like, sir, I don't look half your age and my real age might not even be half your age. Please stop. It's been even worse when these much older men then proceed to making joking(???) comments about following me. I've already been a recipient of low-key stalking at my workplace for 4 years, I don't need more experience.

[@Lyca31]

@@elfdragon1227 True. I was a late developer. At 19-20 people thought I was about 15. I got stopped for age id in places until I was in my mid 30s. In my 20s I would regularly get asked out by dudes in their 50s. I'm not against age gap relationships. If folks are happy together, then age doesn't matter as long as both are consenting adults. I just find it way creepy that much older dudes like to hit on women/girls half their age if the girl clearly isn't interested. It would be the same way if gender roles were reversed, but seeing as the question was about 'what makes a guy creepy' I just answered from that perspective.

[@rai1578]

Thanks for covering this. I saw that a TTS reddit channel covered this thread, but I really hate the sound of TTS

[@harpoonlobotomy]

Also: if I guy reads a thread like this and his reaction is to pick holes/find exceptions to every example or try to explain how it's not actually creepy, 🚩🚩🚩.

[@siffe3336]

The creepiest guy I've ever met was when I was out with all of my coworkers at a bar and a dude comes to sit down he was neighbors with one of my male coworker so he introduced himself I shook his hand and then tried to let go like a normal person (my coworkers decided to go out and smoke and left me alone with this dude) , he started petting my hand and I forcibly removed his hand with my other hand. He asks me some questions I say something about my boyfriend to give him the hint to stop trying to flirt, he proceeds to ask me if we live together I say I live with a bunch of dormmates, he questions why we don't live together and then he asks where I live and I laugh in his face being like "I'm not going to tell you, you are a complete fucking stranger dude" and he tries to pull the "what is it because I am black!?" Honestly almost laughed at how pathetic he was being, like seriously trying to play some sort of race card to make me feel like I am a bad person for not giving out personal info smh.

[@BruhGorl]

Following is definitely a thing. When I was a teenager I had to take public transportation all the time and once when I was 16, I was putting my card through the subway thing and this guy who looked mid 20s walked behind me and asked to walk through at the same time so he didn’t have to pay. I wanted to say no but I was scared so I didn’t say anything and he basically pressed himself against me to push me through the pay station. And then hit on me and asked me if he could walk me to work. I said no so he trailed behind me asking over and over again. I was terrified and walking in the wrong direction from my job before he finally just decided to let me go. Definitely shouldn’t have done many things and I got very lucky but it taught me a lot and now I have pepper spray 🌚

[@Nick-rf2dm]

That post about oversharing to someone you barely know brought back cringy memories I'd rather forget. I was hanging out with a girl who I was sorta close with but not that much. That day was the day I just got dumped by my gf of 3 and a half years cuz she found someone else. So naturally I was feeling pretty down. And the girl noticed and asked me why I was so sad. And I just told her the entire story of what happened and why I was sad. I mean she gave me good advice afterwards so that kinda helped make me feel a bit better. But immediately after that I just kept on cringing at myself and regretting telling her everything. It's something that I cringe about to this day.

[@elliedan3354]

Always have followed you for your honesty Cue! Love your content and perspective, keep it up my guy!

[@spacequeenasmr6573]

The friend with no boundaries who turned into somebody op had to avoid because it got creepy is super relatable. Makes me sad. I was super close to this one guy. We were quickly becoming best friends. He was great to hang out with. I guess I felt like that meant we should date, so I asked him out. Pretty quickly I realized I wasn't actually into him, or into men in general, and I broke it off assuming he'd be cool and understanding. He was not, and he rapidly went from being my best friend to bring mega creepy and borderline stalkery. Would not respect my space, wouldnt accept We were broken up, always happened to be right where I was going to be, kept trying to do grand gestures to get back, and after I was polite to him in public a couple times confronted me after and told me he thought that was proof I wanted to get back together. He wouldn't leave me alone and he let me know he was going to continue to try to win me back. Despite me and my friends telling him to leave me alone. Then he wrote a short play for our creative writing class about dating me again, and any of our mutual friends who thought I was exaggerating realized I was not. It was so weird because before we dated he was so chill and funny and a great friend. Then suddenly he just turned mega creepy. No respect for boundaries. Obsessive & weird. I still miss the version of him I thought I was friends with.

[@judithharley9236]

When a guy shows, uh, let’s say “interest” in you by blowing smoke in your face. Dude, it’s NEVER happening after that!

[@judithharley9236]

@Tara Allen Agreed. I do have asthma. Back when I was younger I worked in a restaurant that had a large smoking section. It was awful. Glad they outlawed that.

[@ClassicCountry348]

Guy here but I personally think it's creepy when guys or girls remember extremely obscure details about my person. one day a few weeks ago I was just walking around aimlessly in my city's mall and I ran into an old friend from high school that I hadn't talked to since graduation day. So me and him sparked up a conversation and all of a sudden he mentioned my tinnitus even though I hadn't told anyone that since like middle school. I dont really think this particular thing g was creepy but it's a bit wierd to remember that after so long

[@Naijarianman]

Paying attention to a conversation is creepy? People are more likely to remember the obscure facts you tell them that make you unique. While forgetting the bland generic information like your name (especially if it is a typical name for your region)

[@ClassicCountry348]

@@Naijarianman I didn't think the tinnitus thing was creepy persay but remembering like obscure personal details can be creepy to a certain extent imo

[@Jenna2k]

Yikes!

[@Jenna2k]

@@Naijarianman yes it is. Especially if it's been years since you said it.

[@TK-uk3qg]

I usually don't comment, but its awesome to see so many videos from you! Hope you have a good holiday 😊

[@horrorchick793]

I've had many of these happen to me. I can feel my skin crawl. People who have no clue about social clues can come off as creepy when they really don't mean to, but the real creeps definitely know what they're doing.

[@yin-sin]

Haven’t been creepily hit on (properly jinxing it) but I watched a video of a guy hitting on a girl while she was working. They were the only ones in the store and she had to remain calm. She made a tiktok with the conversation and responded to a comment in which some guy was giving her shit for not being “friendly” (she was being really calm in that situation). So I would say hitting on girls who are working and giving said guy bland answers.

[@einienj3281]

Missing boundaries.. low-key stalking, acting possessive and jealous..

[@samhunter7619]

This is actually really good information for some guys

[@clairebear-96]

Yeah I’ve never been followed home thank GOD but i’ve definitely seen guys following me, unfortunately, even in a car one time!!

[@ChibiAzu]

I was once followed by some guy for like... a solid block a few years back. It was 1am and I'd just gotten off work and even though I was almost home, it was easily one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I just feel like too many guys don't seem to understand that there's a time and a place to approach people and THAT wasn't it.

[@jolynecuster3381]

It seems like some men DO know, they just think the rules don't apply to them

[@DAndyLord]

I'm a dude. Generally speaking, women like to be treated like normal people.

[@Citrusautomaton]

for me if i see any guy who very much wants a trad wife thats a *big* red flag cuz he's probably a neckbeard

[@SasoAkasuna]

Same, specially if they put down or talk badly about people that don't want that kind of relationship

[@herculesbrofister265]

I want a wife who makes quilts and babies whilst i'm harvesting crops and building barns

[@eeriened3525]

Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone, and definitely don’t touch anyone. Anyone, ever. No matter what you do, you’ll be creepy. You don’t need anyone, seriously. People don’t know anything about being social. Just don’t engage at all, you’ll be better off.

[@jesse85]

It’s very common to be followed as a woman, main reason I left the city.