Dating in your 30's in Korea as a Gay Man [한글 자막]

[@jago3036]

As a gay man in my 30s as well, I realized that you should put yourself out there, but in the right places. Apps, clubs, parks and random strangers’ houses are all good to have fun, be it sexual in nature or not, and the people you meet like that just want to… have fun, finding refuge from the “seriousness” of daily life. To find people who are actually into serious dating you should change your scenery: rights associations, meetups for group of people with shared interests (there is an actual app called Meetup), activity clubs like sport or pottery (just as an example). Instead of starting with “we’re both gay”, you could start with “oh, we have the same interests”. So, even if the relationship doesn’t go in the right direction, you still have gained something or someone from it. And if it goes well, you have solid foundations for it.

[@jago3036]

Also, don’t force yourself to be extroverted if you’re not. As a fellow introvert, I understand the importance of finding likeminded people when it comes to socializing and other activities.

[@notnotd2034]

best advice

[@DouglasMcfarlane-m2u]

I agree totally .. be open to new experiences but don’t pressure yourself to perform in a particular way or have expectations re outcomes and try not to add pressure by over analysing every perceived failure .. stuff happens and most often than not there are many reasons why things don’t work out as planned and most often it’s not always about us ! I met my partner when I was 45 after 8 yrs being single .. he is 17 yrs younger than me and we have a little boy .. we’ve been together 15 yrs .. life can throw you a curve ball

[@jago3036]

@@DouglasMcfarlane-m2u Right! You can find love at any age. Being single in your 30s doesn't mean you'll be single forever. Society tells us that by your 30s you should have everything figure out: work, family, goals. But everyone's path is unique.

[@EhyWisdom]

I like this!

[@definesilla]

From what I know and experienced, dating is hard, dating in the states is terrible and dating in Korea is a battlefield 😭

[@dabit1205]

@@definesilla just bad all around 😭

[@amydon7431]

Where can anyone date everywhere is a battle field 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@hoaxygen]

@@amydon7431 *peeks from bushes* Nowhere is safe.

[@mickeysaathoff938]

​@dabit1205 I am a 60-year-old lesbian who has been out since I was in my very early twenties. I live in America and you would think it would be easy. I can't tell you how wrong that is finding your match finding your person isn't about finding. What I have learned over so many different ways that you have mentioned and those that I don't even want to talk about LOL on meeting women throughout my years, now I am good in my own skin I have been for almost 8 years I focused on something I was passionate about which in my case was running a horse Sanctuary LOL I would have loved nothing more than to have someone special in my life to share that with. However it wasn't meant to be. I've done the dating apps I've even traveled to go on a couple of dates. As much as 3 hours away lol. Now at this point in my life I'm at the point that I would love a companion more than anything. However I've always been a very physical person very touchy-feely cuddly yada yada. So that can be difficult but, I found a group site on Facebook I know Facebook is for old fogies I get it, lol. However point being I'm more about saying what I feel and if somebody replies back I check out their profile to see if it's real or not first, got to be safe, then I will send a message or reply to them through the group and we talked about things that interest us if it goes nowhere it goes nowhere. There's that word that we all know,NEXT, lol. Yes it sucks. But we go through our experiences to make us who were meant to be. You sound like a very stand-up guy. I haven't watched the show you're talking about. But, when you're meant to meet someone you will focus on those things that are passionate to you you like music go to places that have music that you would enjoy. Open yourself up to being aware when somebody's hitting on you, lol. And enjoy yourself. That's usually when it happens if it's meant to happen at that time it will happen Don't Force It it's difficult I know believe me I know LOL

[@thanhhungkkk3564]

With a face card like that and still single??? It’s time to move lmaoooo

[@dabit1205]

@@thanhhungkkk3564 ahahah where to 🧐

[@klemenkovacic9109]

@@dabit1205london or usa optionally japan and china, but plenty of them in london, maybe australia

[@wyn3214]

​@klemenkovacic9109 yes! Come to Australia! Big gay dating scene as well as a huge korean community.

[@st20332]

​@@klemenkovacic9109CHINA?? Girl no, there's a genocide of minorities going on there, right now. Plus SO much more. Don't go to China. Not while the CCP are in control.

[@Theoneandonlybish]

Austr1lia​@@dabit1205

[@mikebooth4270]

I'm surprised that you have a hard time meeting anyone. You seem like such a great guy with a great head on your shoulders. I would think any guy would be lucky to find someone like you. Always love watching your Live streams and always thank you for sharing your life with all of us. Keep your head up Dabit. I have no doubt that great things will come to you. See you in your Live streams soon~~~

[@dabit1205]

@@mikebooth4270 oh hey mike!! Thank you as always 🥹 see you at the stream!!

[@하이킥-x2b]

YAH~~!! 진짜~! 어느 누구가 8년이나 연애를 할 수가 있나~! 애를 몇명이나 낳아도 3년 5년? 이렇게 살다가 결혼은 한 15번? 하는 사람들이 진짜 많아요~!!!!!기다립시다~! 저도 기다릴께요~!!!

[@lgbtally4ever]

Obviously, we, out here in the KZbinverse, seem to believe you are much better, in every way, than YOU believe yourself to be. Maybe you need to get onboard the Dabit fan club bus and start believing, as WE DO-you deserve to be loved!

[@mikebooth4270]

@@lgbtally4ever ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@emonarush]

totally get this! i’m in my 30s and not so single (god i hate that label) but i get that putting your self out there is such a hard thing to do especially for someone like me, an extreme introvert who stays at her house like a furniture. hope our long time companions are just out there. also, I LOVE YOUR SONG FOR HIS MAN 3! i always feel si proud whenever i hear it while watching the show. hope you get to release more of your music dabit. love it!

[@dabit1205]

@@emonarush so happy you like the song 🥹 yeah i def wish i was more extroverted…

[@emonarush]

@@dabit1205 I SUPER LOVE THE SONG! your last few releases are such a nice companion while working. and also, I LOVE YOUR STINT ON ARIRANG RADIO FOR BEYOND THE HITS! i always look forward to tuesdays waiting for your live singing and song recos.

[@하이킥-x2b]

나는 나와 평생 가는겁니다. 내가 수줍어한다고 싫어하면 안돼요~! ㅎㅎㅎ 이 말이 도움은 안되겠지만~이런 내향적인 성격이 이상한 사람을 막아주는 부적일 수도 있답니다~!

[@kennethdavis7995]

I’m in my 20’s struggling to get any attention from any man cuz I’m ugly

[@laurasings4life]

I actually feel this so hard as a single woman in my 30s in Korea. I feel like there's such a culture of meeting through friends here that it's really hard to find a relationship organically. I don't want to go out and club and party. I just want to meet a nice guy, but all the apps are horrible. I haven't stopped putting myself out there, but I definitely am focusing a lot more on myself and things I want to do. I hope that naturally people will just be attracted to that. Here's to hoping the rest of this year goes better for the both of us! P.s. Definitely a storytime is needed. Also, loving your song for HIS MAN 3 and hope we are getting more music coming soon!

[@dabit1205]

I feel you lol ... good things will come this year!!!!!

[@laurasings4life]

@@dabit1205 we got this!

[@ppriya424]

“Am I though” had me 😂

[@dabit1205]

😭 it’s brutal out here

[@kyl-we1ne]

Your vibe has truly changed....you look more confident and happy! Keep loving yourself and everything will fall into its right place at the right time....God bless.

[@dabit1205]

@@kyl-we1ne ❤️❤️❤️

[@janicenicole5980]

Saying this as a 26 year old who has never dated😢, the dating scene is rough everywhere. If it's not one thing, it's another. But I know the perfect person for you will find you.

[@saramontes5712]

We definitely need a storytime!

[@dabit1205]

@@saramontes5712 🫡

[@kalpanabogatijk]

Yess!

[@JAMoore-zz3ki]

I think I suggested this idea a while back on another of your videos: Join a group that does (easy) hiking day trips or camping trips. Being out in nature is amazingly healing, and I have found that people who like the outdoors are pretty cool people. Where I live (in the Rocky Mountains), there are LGBT groups for those things, and there are non-specified groups as well. Either way, they're fun and healthy, and participants range from super beginner level to more experienced so there's something for everyone. My point is, joining a group that focuses on having fun rather than dating can help you organically meet a lot of interesting people who like similar things as you. And maybe some magic might happen along the way. (And it doesn't have to be hiking/camping, if that's not your thing. It can be anything - a roller skating group, an indie film fans group, whatever. Just a group of people with a shared interest!)

[@bethconley]

I second this idea!

[@noorzarur]

This is solid advice. When I was struggling with meeting people, one of my colleagues said the same thing. Do activities that interests you and you will meet like minded people. If not a partner, good friends. I went to sketch and knitting class 😊😊.

[@dabit1205]

@@JAMoore-zz3ki this i can get behind!! I def need to start looking into some!! ❤️

[@oneheart19]

@@dabit1205 Hey, I'm from the Rockies too and it's totally fun going out with a singles GROUP doing a shared interest. I've done several "meet-ups" and I highly recommend it. I'm straight so it was really nice to chat with both sexes and much less pressure! Good luck !!

[@tianlonghong665]

Dang! I was not expecting to relate so hard to your video, but here we are, and I feel some solidarity. I was in an eight year relationship with my ex fiancé who is Korean. He broke off our engagement because coming to marry me in the states would mean he would have to come out to his conservative family. When you spend all your 20s with someone you love deeply, gay dating in your 30s is just... hard, for so many reasons. I wish you the best! You are not alone.

[@liljagisladottir7637]

Talking to a therapist is a good idea. It is not necessary to be in the worst place in life to go. You talk about everything and maybe get ideas and exercises to help you move forward. It is always good to get help. But I'm so proud of you because you've worked hard on yourself and you've made great progress. Love will come at the right time when you are ready and everything will fall into place. Love and support from far away in Iceland ❤❤❤

[@ryetheday6199]

Yes to therapy big time!! And honestly taking a solid 6 months to a year completely away from dating might do wonders. Sometimes when you’re focusing so hard on something it almost becomes unattainable. Focus on the healing, finding joy again and truly and unabashedly loving yourself. Because Dabit you really are a brilliantly amazing human being.

[@kennethiain]

I remember watching you on HisMan2, and you've come a long way from then! I'm so glad you've been finding your confidence! Yes! redecorating your space allows you to re-establish your personality all around you! 6:19 😂😂 Listen those follows are NECESSARY 😂 In answer to your question: I don't think dating is good ANYWHERE for gay guys! 😂Just focus on keeping you happy, and hopefully the right guy will come along! That's my only advice!

[@dabit1205]

@@kennethiain the follows i showed were all bl actors hahahaha very necessary 😌 I just hope my person will come before i turn 50 … 🥹

[@kennethiain]

@@dabit1205 100% necessary! I'm sure they will!

[@jungersrules]

Look, there is a reason that single ladies are decentering men! I'm a single woman (not looking) and just started hearing about and learning about single ladies my age struggling in the dating world, too. Many have heard way too many horror stories and have come to conclusion to decenter men, that is, finding someone isn't a focus anymore. Many, too, also realized being single ... no so bad, lol! I'm not in any of those categories. I'm a "single at heart" gal. The thought of being in a relationship just isn't appealing. Still physically attracted to men, but not so much psychologically, which is actually the bigger turn on for me.

[@natsoo6331]

I don't know how to describe it, but your voice brings comfort. Thank you for your effort❤

[@dabit1205]

@@natsoo6331 🫶

[@patrick--silva18]

Completely relatable I live in Brazil and I'm almost on my 30's (currently 27), never been in a long lasting relationship, and the last time I've been in one was more than 7 years ago, and I'm very skeptical about engaging in a relationship by now, not because I don't want to, but mostly because of the idk, the gay society and the lifestyle, and ageism it's still a very strong thing inside the gay community, and we're still with the mindset that you have accomplishments in your life that you got to achieve before certain age. I'm 27, it's been less than a year that I got my first job after graduation. I still live with my parents, and this is a thing that haunts me. It's hard to meet someone new because I live in a small city, and I'm an introvert, so I'm not that kind that go out and party (not by myself, I don't hate myself enough to do this), so, after all it's impossible to not feel that loneliness. I think this dating thing is even harder for us in the LGBTQ, because most of us only starts to really live life as your true self after jop out of your parents house. Sometimes it really feels like an everlasting adolescence that you're starting to live now because you didn't get to live before. It's tough (sorry for the text, sending love to u).

[@Chrysobubulle]

What agism ??? You’re 27 wtf Vc e miserável pq c nao sabe ser feliz. Tem nada a ver com sua idade ou vc morar com seus pais ou a SoCiEdAdE

[@agme8045]

Why are you still living with your parents? Move to São Paulo, what are you waiting for. Or come to Buenos Aires if you want something different. It’s not gonna be easy, but honestly you’ve waited long enough already and the longer you wait, the harder it will be. You’ll never be ready or have saved enough money, or if you do you will be forty by the time you do. Pack your bags and get on a bus/plane right now, start living your own life (and I don’t mean partying and living that kind of life, I mean being independent, taking care of your home all by yourself, having to budget, and if you go somewhere new you will inevitably meet new people and get out of your comfort zone). Idk how the gay scene in SP or Rio is, but at least here in Buenos Aires it seems like everyone is queer. Not only locals, but also a lot of people from other provinces and smaller cities who are queer come here, there also many gay Brazilians for some reason.

[@patrick--silva18]

​@@agme8045 oh dear, I wish that it was that easy (also I have epilepsy problems, but I already take my meds). I live in a country town in Rio de Janeiro, it's a 3 hours distance to the capital. First of all I'd need more experience to find a good job, also, living near downtown is very expensive. I'd love to go to Buenos Aires, meet other places, but for now I receive just a little bit more than the minimum wage. I'm just waiting for a better time for me to do it. It's more about the income. I don't think it would worth getting out of my current job and going somewhere else without the certain that I have something to support me. Starting a new life from the ground it's harder than it seems. I just want more stability about it, being able to manage my things on my own, without needing support from others (I live with my parents because it's less expensive and it allows me to save some money, and I'm also an only child).

[@patrick--silva18]

@@agme8045 when I go to Rio is always amazing, there are a lot of people that I don't know, guys I see on tinder that I could meet someday and etc, but I've learned that 'living' the place and 'touristing' is very different. When you're touristing you mostly see the good side of the places, you hardly get to live the downsides, like violence, all of the real life struggles. I'd love to live (comfortably) in Rio or SP, but life there is a mess.

[@SelfLove-tt5ow]

You got this Dabit 'Fighting'

[@dabit1205]

@@SelfLove-tt5ow 💪🥹 fighting

[@Mimi-vk8vj]

And your song for his man3 rocks..I loved it sooo much❤❤

[@KayPlatinvm]

We need Dabit collab with Bbillkkin! It’s gonna be fiReeEeee

[@JAMoore-zz3ki]

That would be AMAZING. Great idea!

[@david_xinghan]

I‘m usually a quiet watcher and don’t comment often, but after seeing you on HIS MAN Season 2 and now watching your videos on KZbin I feel like you’re a very pure, honest person with natural charm, it’s a pity that most often these people get overlooked and have only a few chances in their love life. Now I also have to comment on the dating apps/ situation topic. I don’t know what the dating scene in South Korea is like, but as a fellow gay in his 20s I can say that it’s very hard for me, too, here in Germany and somehow I feel like it’s the same everywhere… I know that 20s are still pretty young and you don’t really have anything to loose, like you said, but even hearing that someone had such a long relationship and broke up after that time frightens me a little. About the dating apps and culture, I genuinely feel like 90% of people aren’t even into serious relationships anymore in my age and that is often so frustrating. The way you explained the things you did to ‘put yourself out there’ made me realise some crazy things I did just for the sake of putting myself out there without any major success. Also as a person who’s more of an introvert it’s even harder. I think there are at least some people out there who share our feelings and have similar experiences. Facing these kind of struggles I still hope that you won’t give up, stay true to yourself and am sure that you’re doing your best! And most importantly I hope that you take care of yourself, in the end we will always have ourselves. ❤

[@dabit1205]

thank you for sharing ❤ it is definitely a universal experience for gay guys it seems! In that aspect, relationships definitely take alot of vulnerability and courage! But when done right, even if it isn’t permanent, it’s an irreplaceable beautiful and unique experience! ❤ definitely have not given up yet!!

[@ktowntani9767]

Had to subscribe as the song at the end made me cackle! “Excuse me, have you seen my boyfriend?” As a single woman in her 30’s living in Japan, I feel your pain!

[@teaan8830]

Omg you were my favorite on the show! I think you should make more content just talking about your experiences with dating and other stuff because you are so relatable!

[@mtherese]

I’ve had dating and relationships in my past…I still haven’t find the right person because most of them ended up wrong person for me. I’m in my 40s and still single. Tbh, it’s less stress than having a relationship but at the same it gets lonely. But anyway, my tips, for you to keep yourself busy with what you’re doing. You’ll never know that right person will show up or come along while you’re busy with your life. It’s a phrase some people tell me that all the time. Also, I suggest to analyze yourself what kind of men you’re looking for based on what your past relationship taught you. My past relationships taught me the kind of person I’m looking for. You should try look into analyzing yourself and your past relationships what were the strength and weaknesses you need from the person you’re looking for. I hope I’m making sense in explaining this. Wish you the best of luck! ❤

[@Iki_cat11]

I love it how open and honest you are all the time. I can see why it’s challenging to find someone of interest for you. It’s not easy to find a person evolved and mature as you that could meet your mental level or even exceed it. I guess it’s always good to put less pressure on yourself and try to have more patience with the people you meet. Maybe you can’t see their true potential from just 1 encounter.

[@Jackson-g4u]

> Dabit, you seem to be one of the nicest, most sincere persons on KZbin ! Dating is hard - i never did it (in a private convo i would explain) but i have always told guys here in Los Angeles area who were looking for a relationship to consider volunteering for something - you will meet like-minded guys that way. be cautious of stranger/dangers ~

[@ronaldorodriguesdasilva253]

Dude, your English is really good. Now, the situation in Korea is probably the same as the rest of the world. Here in São Paulo is the exact same thing. The things you're going through is exactly the same that we that we're facing here, if you are single and idealize a monogamous relationship but is not afraid to satisfy your needs whenever if you feel like. I also believe that random hookups is not promiscuity, is just physical necessities. And no, there's nothing else that you supposed to be doing besides what you're already doing to find a mate. You actually done more than necessary sharing your experiences with us. Thanks for that. You're not alone.

[@Pekeloba]

Desde HisMan ha habido un gran cambio en tu persona,se te ve más seguro y eso me encanta,no te agobies por encontrar pareja,te mereces alguien que te quiera bonito y estoy segura que llegara❤ El final del video a sido muy gracioso😂

[@DREWDOWN3]

I felt this video in my soul. 😭 As a 34 year old gay guy myself that came out of a 9 year relationship, it's been hard getting back into the dating scene. I feel like no one understands or wants to deal with the "baggage" even though I'm completely over it now. I'm hopeful knowing that there are still good guys like you in the world with similar circumstances as me. We both need to stay positive!!! 😊

[@omanitoo]

Man it's so good hearing you like this, the amount of cringe I got from you on the show was unbelievable. I mean I saw your good nature but your low self esteem was too relatable and I hated that part of myself at that time. I love the way you comunicated, it feels like listening to a friend and the realism of it all too. Keep going, I loved this.

[@adlizto]

I honestly can't say much about the dating scene in general rn, but I can only imagine how complicated social apps have made it these days since people love to hide their true nature behind the anonymosity of it all. l know if you continue to grow in love with yourself the way you have this past year, your shining personality will attract only the best that you deserve some day. Until that day comes, enjoy the adventure, learn more about what you DON'T like in a man, and stay safe! (stop getting into strangers cars and inviting them over without letting anyone know as a contingency plan, they could be crazy!! lol) Thank you for continuing to share your experiences, it may not seem like much, but I'm sure you're helping many who can't be so open yet to feel more comfortable about themselves. 💛💛💛

[@dabit1205]

@@adlizto yes focusing on some things i can do only as a single guy for now 🤔

[@raja0zafri]

I think you should meet jaeseung from hisman 3, 😅 would be excited to see your conversation with him..

[@dabit1205]

@@raja0zafri we don’t even know if he is taken or not … 🫢 guess we will find out in a few weeks lol

[@raja0zafri]

@@dabit1205 haha, wishing all the best for you..

[@dreads8220]

Wait a second. He is basically Jaesung’s type 😮

[@roaahasan4406]

I'm so proud of you for doing your best and also would love to watch this kind of videos I feel like I'm listening to my bestfriend talk❤❤❤

[@dabit1205]

@@roaahasan4406 ohh i love having someone to talk to! Ill make some more talking videos from time to time!

[@user-mw5rv2tn9s]

🇨🇵 bonjour Dabit, Thank to KZbin algorithm, I discovered your videos recently. It's interesting and touching. Actually, I am a French guy coming often to Korea with quite a love experience there. I think that dating Korean guys in Korea isn't different than in other countries. To me, the most important thing is to share values and to have a similar look on life. You seem to have conversation and a lot of to share. And your 8 years relationship proves that you are also made for long partnerships. It's very pleasant to listen to you. Merci. Sebastien

[@cherrylhirsch7738]

I'm American and I did watch season 2, fell in love with your authenticity and am a subscriber. The group of men from the show were the best. If you are close with any of them hang out. Loving yourself, knowing your self worth and having standards are keys to attracting what/who you want. He can be at a cafe, grocery store, museum, concert, club, park while you're walking the dog. Live Dabit!

[@ms-oi4gc]

did not even watch the whole video yet but already loving the overalls vibes of this video

[@pinkypilot]

This video is the very reason I follow & like you. There's no mincing words, just honesty...a trait that's hard to find these days. I just have a feeling that something/someone will happen when you least expect. Focus on your music and things that are important to you. I hate to reiterate this 'old' quote but I do believe that "good things come to those who wait"❤🎤

[@hms6673]

Congrats on your personal growth!! Its wonderful to watch you get stronger and more settled with every video❤ Dating is harder as you get older everywhere, in every way. I wish I had advice for you but all I can do is wish you success and Im rooting for you

[@dabit1205]

Thank you 🥹 that means alot to me

[@rafaelfranco9374]

I feel you so much! Also in my 30s and living in Spain and I can say it isnt really that different somehow. I'd say perhaps a bit of a different approach to dating and the overall idea of building connections but still not really much depth for most cases... You could have the best first date ever and never heard from them ever again... but one must do one's best, that is all we can do! Let us keep trying, remain positive and see what beautiful things we attract! 💙

[@homeskillet84]

You just got a new subscriber 👏🏼 I relate to your video so much and it is rough out here. FYI I’m living in America and even though it’s not as conservative as Korea… it’s still a journey to meet men, even in my mid 20s. I’m someone who wants to get to know someone organically with no expectations, but have it feel natural and chill. And with the whole hierarchy of dating apps, hookup culture, etc. it can be brutal & overwhelming, almost as if no one knows how to hold a normal conversation lol. But also relating to what you said, when I met guys, I also trauma dumped about my past relationships so I can empathize. I learned and got better & I’m glad you’re doing better as well. Keep us updated and sending you love! You got this! 🫂👏🏼

[@PaulA-xr9eb]

Timely video for me. Three weeks ago, I left a loveless 7-yr relationship in New York and picked a random place in Asia. I ended up in Vietnam. I’m so much happier and less stressed. I am also dating. I have had 3 significant relationships in my life, each lasting 7-12 years. Know that it’s not the end of the world to be single in your 30’s. Be patient, be kind to yourself, make friends, exercise, declutter, explore new things and places. Mr Right is out there for you. Only you can choose to be happy. You control that. Sending you good vibes and happy thoughts.

[@pardishosseinzade9902]

Listening to him speaking English is so satisfying

[@WoomancheeMansoocheechanwa-e2v]

Ongad

[@lilapple7665]

the fact that I've been single for 5 years now, I'm losing hope haha ​​let's give each other strength, we'll make it I guess

[@dabit1205]

@@lilapple7665 we got this 🥹

[@ashag14]

Dabit do keep us updated! I’m really glad to hear your confidence is up. It pained me to see you so down and anxious in his man 2. Hope you have better experiences in the future. You deserve to be happy! Also I listen to your his man 3 ost everyday. Your voice is magical🌌. Looking forward to your music ✨

[@beep641]

ive known you since HisMan2 and ive been following your instagram since then, youre really talented and you have a likeable personality, im sure youll find the right person who will love you will all his might ✨i will always root for you 💗 good luck dabit 😊

[@kristydeles2829]

You're so lovable and witty.. no need to push yourself too hard . It's just that the right one is giving you more time to love and appreciate your worth before he strikes your heart.❤❤❤

[@thandekamaziya3748]

GAWWWDDDD I LOVE YOU... You are my favorite from season 2 2and i am so happy you are doing great... I am 39 female and single so the dating scene seems to be worse in my country... SO MUCH LOVE FROM SWAZILAND IN AFRICA

[@matura0maimai]

The dating scene is just as rough in the States. I don’t know The solution, but I hope you know you are not alone with your sentiments. I will continue to cheer for you in however your life manifests.

[@aakritiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

Out of all the contestants,you were exceptionally caring loving and so kind I literally prayed in every verge that you'd be happy I hope you find your light in the dark We'll always be with you Don't fear life changes I lovee you since hismannn ❤❤

[@michaelchoi0323]

Gay Korean in my 30s here as well. Never dated in Korea, but dating seems to be universally horrible everywhere in the world, especially for gay men. I had a bit of a downward spiral experience trying to date around in NYC and Chicago, but eventually found my current bf in grad school. Obviously not recommending you to go back to school or anything, but I think good 인연 will come to you organically when you focus on yourself. In any event, you were brave for coming on the show and I’m glad you were able to grow from what could have been a super traumatizing and toxic experience. Rooting for you from NYC!

[@dabit1205]

Tbh i wish i could go back to school 😭 seems to be the best place to meet guys organically haha if only it wasn’t so damn expensive haha thank you ❤️ hoping my time comes~

[@newworld7961]

I totally got you ! I’m in my late 20s and i’m starting to have this huge fear of spending my whole life alone. I’m not gay maybe you can say it can be easier for me to find someone but no I’m struggling too and i think it’s the same everywhere it’s not “ a country problem” i lived in two totally different countries and the problem is always there. My friends too, they always tell me to put my self out there i’m trying but it’s not as easy as it sounds. Anyways, i really hope you will find your partner as much as i hope i will find mine. Lots of love, stay strong.

[@brevindomingo4277]

all of your frustrations are so valid and incredibly affirming. thank you for sharing

[@zoyaaa_7]

YOU ARE AN ALL ROUNDER YOU GOT THE LOOKS THE VOICE THE HUMOUR I LUV U

[@clem17963]

Hi Dabit, your speech feels very close to my own experience even though I still have a couple of years to go before I turn 30. I also reflect a lot on what has changed, because it used to be easier to have dates and relationships while now everything feels so boring, disappointing, and at times terrifying. Have we become (rightfully) more demanding? If so, why does loneliness sometimes weigh so heavily on us? Or are we simply in the wrong place? The idea of moving and starting over elsewhere, is something I'm considering more and more each day and also with some anxiety because the thought of finding myself at 40 unable to love or be loved weighs on me a lot. I don't have concrete advice because I'm figuring out myself and my life too, but I want to tell you that I don't think it's a problem to no longer want to compromise in relationships, to not want to settle, and to maintain high standards. Self-love should be the guide, and if for the moment you weren't ready or no one matched your expectations, that's okay. There are no schedules or timers. I hope that our support, your good friends, music, and the little joys of life can fill that emotional and human warmth void that kicks back in from time to time. I'm rooting for you! 🫂🤍

[@nigelbond4056]

OK, so this video landed in my recommendations and I was immediately struck by your openness and humour. As a gay guy in my late 50’s, the best advice I can give you is stop looking! I know this seems counterintuitive but, believe me, the best relationships happen when you least expect it. And, from what I can tell, you’ve got a lot to give some lucky guy ❤️

[@megljs2142]

I wish u find the right one soon ...congrats on ur new song for sea 3..i love it..ive only known u guys less than a month after watching sea2..and now i really love the friendship..hoping for more trips w/ all the guys..takecare always

[@bia_ella]

I was having a horrible day, thanks for your video. It made me smile for a moment. In case no one has told you: you are important, at least to me. Keep updating :)

[@maaan_ji]

Hey Dabit, Thanks for sharing your experience, I can definitely relate to you whenever I go to Korea. Personally, I don’t think it’s the age that truly matters, but rather the person’s long-term goals and wants/needs. As many people say, “30s are the new 20s”, so many people opt for a lifestyle that is more independent e.g., going clubbing, meeting many people, having a list of people they talk to and if something happens, it usually ends up just being a 썸 at most, so I really hope that you don’t think you are the problem! I’m from Montreal, Canada and I typically prefer Asian men, so if I do want to go on dates, I have to travel to Toronto or NYC, but I ended up realizing that many of these people I met for wholesome dates just choose to meet many people for the sake of a short-term relationship, regardless of their age (even more in Seoul, but I guess it’s also because they know I’m only visiting for a few weeks)… I’m no love expert but a piece of advice I got from friends that really stuck with me is to, like you said, keep your expectations low, but to also not necessarily look for anything. Be at peace with your own presence and build enough confidence (let’s be real, you have such a soothing personality, aspirations, and you are good-looking) that it upsells you as a person even more, and the right person will eventually come to you, without anything being forced. Also typically I’ve noticed that many good-looking men do be fkbois (obviously a generalization, take this with a grain of salt), so since Korea is so focused on visuals, you can expect most to not always be looking for a long-term. Hope this helps! You got this brother, we’re in this together 💪

[@FernandoSoares-oi9jc]

I totally get you, Dabit. I'm already 34 and I also feel that back in 20s was so easier to set up dates with people, and if it didn't work it out, then I'd go to the next one, and the cycle continued. After dating for 4 years and having some trauma during/afterward, we do get more selective. And I don't think there's something wrong, we're just taking care of us [not that we might no have done it in the past] Being alone, enjoying my own company really helped me a lot in these last years, which explained why I was so eager to meet new people and then date them. Just take your time, go on your own pace. It sure does scare a lot to think that years are just passing by, and we're aging, but I do believe there might be something better waiting for me, and my and this person's path will meet, you know? Much love from Brazil ♥

[@dabit1205]

All a process of getting older and wiser i suppose… hope we can both find our partners ❤

[@davidwalsh8644]

Proud of you Dabit on how far you've come 🐰

[@liacata]

And yes I watched Hisman 2 and cried with you,,,, I think you are a wonderful person, work on you, love yourself even more jajaja that special person will come, I promise

[@StarShapedSnowflake]

If it is meant for you, it won't pass you by! 💕 You got this 💪🏻 x

[@manluchang8992]

It's never late for love whether you turn 40 nor 60 ❤you got this iam alway rooting for you fighting🥺 love you tons and always keep smiling

[@svamidashi]

Hi, Dabit! Long time no see. I was so happy to hear your ost in hisman3, that`s my fav song now. Also I`m, always worry about you and your feelings. You`re so precious person to me and I see peace in you! Stay always like that, don`t change! Love from russia🥰 I`m so sorry if my english isn`t good:(

[@BryanBurnsBright]

All I can say this is my first time visiting South Korea. And thought of moving here and getting to know the gay scene. You are so adorable and I hope you find love wherever it may be. I say don’t give up. Do give time to heal. And don’t look to hard. It’s when you’re not looking they show up.

[@koreanimmersion3938]

I find that focusing on the dating itself usually incites frustration, cynicism, and discouragement. Some cool people already suggested finding clubs or hobbies or other social activities so I'm gonna add this: finding something that is sustainable, gratifying, nurturing, and healthy to fill the void in your being will do probably do wonders. Your intention has already been set. You've already begun the process of healing from your wounds. Giving yourself more time (a year in comparison to 8 is not a lot tbh) to just live and exist as you are will open you up to some wonderful experiences. You aren't lacking in anyway (that we can see). Dating is hard for a lot of people. But with persistence, patience, and a whole lot of self-actualization I believe you'll gain the thing you seek! I don't know when or how but it'll come when it comes. And that my friend, is perhaps the most difficult part about all of this hehehe. Thank you for sharing a piece of your hear with us. I truly wish you the best!

[@Semicolon18]

I want to say something your song in hisman 2 is really really good first time i heard and checked right away and find that its you...its kind of refreshing song which i found so cheerful..i cant find where i am going to say this to you directly its relaxing to see you.

[@sheariggenbach]

I hate to go all motherly on you but please be safe! Some of those situations could have ended badly. I second the person who commented that you could look into meet up groups like hiking or film clubs where you can organically meet people. You are an amazing person and I hope you find the connection you are looking for 💜

[@brainlessclown7288]

U deserve all the love Dabit u r literally one of the sweetest person i know on internet hope u the best cz u deserve the world 💙✨

[@jjemomagar7652]

cutest and fluffiest contestant in HisMan2.

[@santoshm8812]

Fighting Dabit. Don't get discouraged by a one of date. You have a lot to offer and someone is out there for you. 💙

[@zerddrez235]

Even as a girl in my 20s, I feel you at this part 6:45 🥲 WE’RE PUTTING OURSELVES OUT THERE. Dabit, have faith in yourself 💖💖 you’re gorgeous, kind and talented! The right man will get found :)

[@ilkerbatuhan]

After watching this video, I remembered the crying in His Man 2. I cried with you, I laughed and hoped with you. Because I feel like you have a pure heart that deserves to be happy. As someone who has never dated anyone before, I'm sorry I don't have a single piece of advice to give you. But I want to be with you as much as I can ^^ You are never alone, don't forget that. ❤‍🔥

[@Thimes123]

as someone who is not into clubbing or dating apps, i kinda of gave up and just hope i will meet someone through a mutual friend, but if not, i am fine spending time with my family and friends instead. And by friends i mean my cat.

[@Mimi-vk8vj]

It's ok we all go through those times...just know that you are a great musician your voice is amazing ..and maybe instead of focusing on finding someone just try to focus on other stuff like try to maybe sign for a drawing lesson or something or try to have another extra hobby...but anyways you are lovely and kind and sweet so just remember that and I truly and deeply hope and believe that the right person who will make you forget all these thoughts will come ..just relax more and free yourself from the memories and the worries ...the sun will shine again just believe in that❤

[@yune5597]

새 인연 만나는 일은 누구에게나 어려운거 같아요. 꾸준히 기회를 만들다보면 예상 못한곳에서 새 인연이 나타나지 않을까요?🥰

[@dabit1205]

맞아요! 계속 노력 해야죠~ ❤️

[@marshamorgan5576]

I just binged HisMan2 last week. I didn't even put it together. Sometimes love finds you when you aren't looking. You said you were ready then questioned yourself. Maybe let dating go for a month or so and just focus on you. Love yourself first.

[@Jbluvalot]

I totally can relate. It's so annoying. Been dating and dating and I cannot find the right person. I am literally scared. Scared I will end up alone. Hope one day I can find someone. These things take time. I love your video! It's great.

[@mxb2074]

In my 20's and I am 100% experiencing what you're saying about dating apps... Though, I'm French and in France...

[@teohanz3089]

sincere video - it can be great to be alone and have friends that support you. Maybe you can consider hosting solo travellers like myself who is keen to visit Korea someday. Keep well.

[@adamcolclasure4892]

Being a gay man with a dash of asexuality, in the states I just gave up at 25. Now mid 30s its a warzone between being open and even finding someone who isn't straight or taken. Most of the guys I like they don't want commitment maybe I'm old fashioned like that but also, most men suck at communicating. I'm planning, on moving abroad to a country where there is freedom of expression without conditions like the states.

[@GamerGus30]

I just finished watching his man 2 you are soooooo adorable I’m wishing you the best you got this!!!!!!!!

[@brainlessclown7288]

Loved your ost say it back in his man 3 Dabit I'm so proud of you 😭🫶🏻

[@naofg]

I'm in a different country and not a gay guy, and I have to say the situation is not that different tbh 😭 I relate to a lot of what you said, it just feels like dating is all a matter of following a protocol these days, too robotic and boring. I'm a 31yo nonbinary person, but people usually read me as a woman, and I date women and nonbinary people, for the most part, and I live in Brazil, in a pretty conservative city. I've given up on trying to date, because dating apps are just not for me, and the instagram thing doesn't appeal to me either. Personally, for me to like someone, I need to get to know them first, and I'd rather do that without going straight to dating yk? I want to meet people out there in the real world and create a connection before flirting or anything else. I also hate clubbing, but that's how I got my last girlfriend. Right now I'm just gonna keep living my life, and if someone shows up and we have a connection, great. If not, I'm fine being single 🤷🏻

[@dabit1205]

@@naofg i think also as we get older it gets more difficult to meet people organically like we did in our teens/college years :( and it doesnt help that most korean guys are in the closet so you will never know which way they swing unless you find them via app or through gay gatherings :( it’s tough out here haha

[@AL-stay]

Hang in there. I think you’re an awesome person and you’ll find the right person. Hopefully very soon. 🙏🏼

[@michael2002_]

You can definitely tell your slowly healing from your past relationship. Moving on isnt an overnight thing especially for a long relationship. Hope the best for you dabit. You just need to use your bl and zb1 rizz lol

[@senpaiofalltrades4967]

the "getting into strangers car" really resonated with me cause that is the exact same experience I've had with gay dating, I have even met people where we have the same interest of playing DnD but it still falls flat and I'm just like "if we share the same interests AND I put myself out there than what I am doing wrong?" I'm trying my hardest to do everything correctly, from like the smallest details in clothing to how my face looks, it all feels tiring, you do the right thing but get no rewards so it feels unfair.

[@zoyaaa_7]

bro you are majestic 😭🎀

[@MoaArmy61304]

"Shining and thriving in our own singleness" ✨️ 4:44 AMEN this is actually very hard to accept and achieve, but we have to be confident with ourselves first, acknowledge what we really want and need, and never settle for less than we deserve

[@JAMoore-zz3ki]

Hi Dabit - I know you've been watching HM3 (I have, too, and I always enjoy hearing your song). There's also a new Japanese dating show you might enjoy, if you haven't already started it. I think it's the first Japanese gay dating show, ever. It's called "The Boyfriend." The format is somewhat different than HM3, but there are some similarities. One of the guys has a Korean name (Taeheon), so I don't know if he just lives and works there (he's fluent in Japanese) or if he grew up in Japan. I'm watching it on Netflix. So far there have been 3 episodes.

[@Mari-ir2kj]

I liiiike listening to your stories, Dabit! Hope you will upload more videos and ofc hope you will meet your perfect match soon!!

[@bippppppppp]

음 제가 다빗님에 대해 엄청 잘아는 건 아니지만 영어로 말하는게 한국어로 말할때보다 훨씬 자신감 있고 매력적으로 느껴지는 것 같아요 믈론 이건 언어의 문제가 아니라 제가 남연때의 모습만 기억해서 일수도 있어요..영상에서 다빗님이 말한 것처럼 그때보다 심리적으로 많이 안정돼서 그렇게 보이는 걸수도 ㅎㅎ 한국사람보다는 외국인을 만나보는 것도 좋을 것 같아요 한국에 사는 외국인도 꽤 있으니까요

[@gabrielacluciuniuc3451]

I was quite shocked that you didn’t find a match in Hisman cuz I thought you were one of the most attractive men there ❤ I hope you find genuine love soon!

[@sakurasan6133]

El solo hecho de escuchar tu voz llena mi corazón, espero que no tarde mucho esa persona especial❤❤

[@IPC_1010]

Dabit I assure you that you will definitely meet someone much more better and someone who loves you very much so dabit love yourself more and don’t worry ❤❤❤❤ Much love from Nigeria 🇳🇬

[@Gloulou10]

I am definitely way to young to relate but this gives me a peace of mind for the future. And was surprisingly soothing listening to someone rant for 8 minutes but sometimes there are just things we need to get out of our sistem and say. Because I don't talk to people in real life I come to KZbin and as the word is "Tramua dump" in the comments. 😊

[@girlnextdoor0703]

You’re beautiful and talented, funny and mature. Your music is amazing, and I love Say It Back. And don’t forget, we’re Asian, we look 20 until, we look 80…there’s like no in between. I’m 50 and I’m grateful everyday I wake up and still look youthful. You have a long time to find the right person, it’ll happen. ❤

[@PathakMoee]

Trust me You will get the best person as your lover Even though people like us who are honest and just us happy in our things always struggles to find someone who will understand us and love as who we are but we will definitely be with someone as amazing, awesome and incredible as us😂😂😂 You were my first pick in the show dear I will always root for you Dabit is the best❤ Take some time off and heal yourself love I don't care how it's going to sound but you should try manifestations, it really works Trust the universe I am the best with the best😊😊

[@Ghazalwluv]

Just wanted to say your ost for hisman3 is my jam, i put it on loop for 40 mins showers😂 which I'm now understanding how weird that is

[@Tripoutro]

One of the most important things I’ve learned about dating guys is... I don’t want to waste my time on it anymore. I’d rather spend that time with my friends and working on my projects. Maybe someday I’ll meet someone, but for now, I prefer getting to know more international people, bonding with them, and learning about their cultures.

[@rjkpop]

Damn, are we the same person lol... cause I felt this in soul 😅. Don't lose hope though, Dabit! Sounds cliche (and maybe I should tell myself this too) but the right one is will come along ...I guess lol. 💙