Dad's Purity Proposal To Daughter Goes Viral

Ok this is weird, right? something about dads proposing to their daughters is just ..... wrong

[@Ouisel]

Treating a woman's virginity like it's a commodity is gross.

[@goldensloth7]

SO gross

[@kriannnne]

For the dad to say to stay pure to God AND him.. gives off gross pedo vibes too

[@xletragedyx]

Very American

[@xletragedyx]

Wow okay Robert just said that. He's right, tho

[@beewest5704]

S3xyalizing your kid is 🤮🤮🤮

[@lexc.7991]

Why aren’t dads making their sons promise “purity until marriage” then?

[@justine7143]

Do the moms get down on one knee to propose to their boys that they want to wear purity rings? Or do boys not have to adhere to celibacy? 😅

[@purelightapologetics4930]

I’m sure some of these dads aren’t, but a lot of these dads are.

[@purelightapologetics4930]

@@justine7143 No, and no. I think the ring is more about the dad taking responsibility for protecting his daughter than it is about the daughter’s sexuality.

[@captivecat5858]

@@purelightapologetics4930it’s very clearly not about protecting his daughter to say “stay pure” that’s just weird. It’s not like “don’t let anyone pressure you into it when you aren’t ready.”, it’s explicitly “don’t engage in sexual activity ever until marriage”

[@purelightapologetics4930]

@@captivecat5858 It really depends. Sometimes it is about protecting the daughter. It’s not always the way you say it is.

[@Camp-h9g]

No dad should be giving his daughter a 'don't fuck nobody' ring

[@coolbreeze5683]

Exactly... it's weird for a dad to be "gatekeeping" his daughter's body like it's his property. I think it's more important for a mother (or role model who is a woman) to discuss this stuff with their daughters because that is real advice. Men bringing up a young women's sexuality is just gross.

[@charlottesmom]

I’d take the ring and do it with every male in sight! 😂

[@missladyanonymity]

It's giving "except me" vibes🤢🤮

[@ellanina801]

From my own experience, yes.

[@delphvine89]

Exactly. It’s weird as F. I hate purity rings and promise rings. Cringe 🤢🤢🤢🤢

[@Itscannatella]

My biggest problems with this are: 1. It’s never focused on sons, always daughters. 2. Viewing virginity as a “gift” for a future man is DISGUSTING. 3. Having your father involved in your choice to abstain from sex is GROSS.

[@johnottway8074]

Agreed. Id like to add virginity being equal to purity can't be anything but mentally damaging. Creeps me out. That's just me though.

[@fleurosea]

@@johnottway8074 the shame that comes along with it is so damaging.

[@purelightapologetics4930]

I don’t think it’s gross to see virginity as a gift to your future spouse so long as it’s both men and women and so long as it’s not just a gift for them but also for you. The idea I was raised with is that it’s something precious, so you only want to share it with someone who will value it and more importantly value you and treat you with dignity.😊

[@byronic0967]

​@@purelightapologetics4930You don't have to be married to someone to be treated with respect and dignity. And it should be everyone's choice who they want to engage with physically. I think viewing sex as a gift is a very weird take. Feels wrong.

[@purelightapologetics4930]

@@byronic0967 I think that someone who will have sex with you outside of marriage is not treating you with the respect and dignity that you deserve. that means they’re willing to do the things that require commitment without committing to you. Sex belongs inside of marriage. Of course, people should be able to choose who they get married to! I’m not here to advocate for forced marriage. I think viewing sex as nothing is a weird take. I think that feels wrong.

[@SheilaMarguerite]

My question is what about the sons? Why is it only expected of the girls? 🤢

[@MareMarMarie]

Exactly. I grew up in the religious circles and purity ring culture. The men can literally do whatever they want. A guy and girl get caught having s*x.. the girl tempted the boy and the boy is the victim. Good old Adam and Eve stuff.

[@Phoenixx1322]

Exactly

[@thebabythesavage]

You know why. 🤢

[@myaalexander354]

Ooop! Yes, I'd like to hear this answer too...

[@elin_]

Misogyny

[@rule_brittania2142]

I was raised evangelical christian and my mom cried when I told her I lost my virginity at 19, and I was so pleased with myself that I had waited so long, I was like, come on! Most my friends lost theirs at 15, 16, do you have any idea how hard it was to wait until I was 19!? It's just hypocritical bs, because all those dads who were putting purity rings on their daughters fingers were the same dads that were putting their hands on my 14 year old knees and asking if I had a boyfriend or been kissed when they drove me home after babysitting their kids. Men who are so obsessed with virginity are pervs, the lot of them.

[@PiXie232]

You literally read my mind.. I honestly would not be surprised in the slightest if some/most of the men in this video have SA'd their very daughters with whom they're forcing these "purity" rings and values onto. I can feel the disgusting behavior emanating through the screen. I've unfortunately had far too many horrible experiences with men throughout my childhood- throughout my entire life- and I can spot them from a mile away.

[@d3pr0fundis]

Truth. Only a creep or a horribly insecure individual would be this preoccupied with a young girl’s sexuality. These people live in dark shadows.

[@HandsomeMalcolmcats]

I had my bff dad tell me “every girl’s sitting on a goldmine and it every guys waiting to get in” I was so creeped out 🤢

[@mzansisoapiereviewroastand613]

​@@HandsomeMalcolmcatsso weird, a male friend said that to me too recently...and mist men in our community believe that a woman can't even be financially lacking....

[@rosesweetcharlotte]

God, and then when you are like me and still a virgin in your 30s, they act like you did something wrong. We can't win.

[@DecolonialRhetoric]

How about dads instead ask their sons to sign a contract that promises that they won’t sexually assault others?

[@mxgitsxne7335]

this!!!

[@lolamurder1882]

These are the same people who teach their daughters that it's their responsibility to not entice a boy/man with how they dress.

[@irsprst]

omg yessss

[@tammystiletto]

If only

[@cocoloco40]

🙌

[@laurentoren]

i was raised in a very conservative christian home. when i was 12, my church split the boys and girls up into small groups. in the girls group, we were taught that anytime we kissed a boy, we were giving away a part of our heart and soul to him forever. we were told that if we weren’t “pure”, our future husbands wouldn’t want us. so i began asking for a purity ring. i got one for my 15th bday. and i wore it all throughout high school. while i didn’t have any weird creepy moment with my dad, purity culture still messed me up. i felt such immense guilt and shame and like i had let down my God and my parents when i decided to become sexually active. my christian friends made it seem like i was impure, immoral, scandalous, and less than for being sexually active with my long term partner. meanwhile, my male peers were celebrating losing their virginity. one even got a cake from his friend group. we need to stop doing this to women. the double standards are RIDICULOUS and so so harmful to young women.

[@Luceeeeeeeeeeeeee]

Sorry to hear ❤

[@nicolenotizieeamici]

I want to throw up

[@morgan.simmons]

Sorry you went through this ❤ in my youth group, they told us that if you even kiss someone you don't end up marrying, you're kissing someone else's spouce. It's hard to unlearn the shame.

[@laurentoren]

@@morgan.simmons yes! kissing someone else’s spouse. we learned that too. i’m glad we both are on the journey to unlearning the behavior though :) best of luck to you 🩷

[@jeannerogers7085]

Yes, you have perceived the age-old Double Standard.

[@Byroad3]

As someone who was raised an evangelical southern baptist I can assure you that anyone with a purity ring was the first ones to break all those vows 😂

[@felinemoonchild]

💯 The Catholic school in my area was known for having the most sex and drugs.

[@elin_]

Let's goooo

[@raenoway]

The ones from the strictest families were always the wildest kids!!!

[@kenbrb6261]

yep - like the preacher's kids were always the most wild

[@goldensloth7]

@@felinemoonchild same

[@sheilahbuettner8452]

52 years ago when I married my first husband I was a virgin, because that was just considered the right thing to do... notwithstanding that the boy-man I married was most definitely not a virgin, which was also somehow also considered okay by the standards of the day. Note the operant word here is first husband. I am quite confident that if I had had sex with him I would never have married the emotionally, psychologically, and physically abusive person that he was. Instead, I locked myself in the bathroom of the hotel where we spent our wedding night crying uncontrollably knowing that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. The lesson that should be being taught is not don't have sex until you are married, but rather don't have sex until you are mentally mature enough to make good choices and to keep yourself safe.

[@deaw87]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds so traumatic. ❤

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

Sheila: that last part of your post was the attitude my parent's had; make sure you're mature enough to have sex, be on birth control if you don't want children and practice safe sex. They were concerned about my health and well-being. My parents would have been 89 and 90 if they were still among the living. They were intelligent, progressively-minded people that realized the world was evolving. Hell, I told my dad about purity balls around a decade ago and he thought they were so creepy. I was lucky to have parents like them.

[@Crappy9922]

My heart breaks for your situation. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, as well as waste all that time and emotional vulnerability before it happened. I hope your second husband made you much happier

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

Whoa... what happened on your wedding night?

[@Wishfull171]

God, I wish I could have been there to hold you. I'm so sorry you went through that but so happy to hear he is in the past!

[@SheilaMarguerite]

I have no issue with ppl having purity rings and not having sex until marriage, but the whole way this is done like in the style of a marriage proposal...it gives me the ick so badly.

[@ghoultooth]

I think the most icky part to me is just how invested some parents are in their children’s virginity. Like, by all means have a chat about it when they’re of age, but it’s just so odd how obsessed they can be! The proposal style is just another oddity!

[@linseylinsey]

It's just an impossible commitment at this young age. You can't possibly know what your future holds and it's weird to make these young children agree to something they're not emotionally or developmentally able to understand and agree to. It's coercion. It doesn't allow for a life where they don't get married.

[@lolamurder1882]

Exactly. If someone chooses to do it for themselves, it's one thing. This proposal thing is so disturbing.

[@mxgitsxne7335]

​@@ghoultooth exactly.. you don't owe your parents your sexual history or anything like that's gross

[@Nanner823]

I agree. I don't even think it's a religion thing, I think it's talking to your children about something you need to put serious thought into. You don't have to sleep with everyone to feel validated type thing, not religious at all. The whole doing it like a proposal is creepy. Then filming it and showing the world. Yikes

[@sineadrooney480]

As a parent, I think the concept of requesting your child promises anything about their life choices is crossing a boundary... It feels emotionally manipulative because they've implied that her commitment to absence is a direct demonstration of her commitment to them... So she'll feel so much guilt and shame if she stops being committed to it. I believe that as a parent, my children owe me nothing ... I owe them unconditional love, the skills to confidently make their own decisions and the freedom to be themselves.

[@sineadrooney480]

Abstinence* #DyslexicAndTired

[@PlaceholderName-b4d]

I believe children do owe their parents respect and support if needed in the future. Family relations are a two way street, parents are not supposed to sacrifice all that they are and get nothing in return, not even appreciation, that's a modern concept and it's not healthy. If the parents were not abusive that is. If they were then you owe them nothing.

[@FullmoonPhantom-dn2sr]

@@PlaceholderName-b4d100% disagree. IMO, that’s what a sacrifice is. That’s what good people in the world do when they make sacrifices. They don’t expect anything in return. You’re meant to do such things from the bottom of your heart. Also, kids don’t choose to be born or who their parents will be. Children don’t have the power to decide whether they will be born to good loving parents who provide a good, safe environment that fosters happy secure well-adjusted children or horrendous parents who are neglectful, abusive, or manipulative making the children feel unvalued and unsafe while still expecting the children to take care of the parents in old age. You can’t make a contract you expect your kids to agree to and fulfill when your kids had no way to even consent to being part of that contract.

[@kiwihyunz7452]

⁠@@PlaceholderName-b4d sacrificing for your children is the bare minimum of being a parent and is in no way a good thing to hold over a child’s head just because you want them to be what you want them to be. Children aren’t pets that you can mold and shape to what you want them to be, they’re there own people

[@coriroo9323]

Purity culture is SO damaging to little girls for so many reasons. If you're taught for your whole life that sex is dirty and bad and tocbe avoided, you think that just switches off on your wedding night? Also, they have the dad do it as a patriarchal thing, because the women are literally his property until he gives them to their husband. It's not just eww kind of gross, it's hateful and disgusting.

[@eponymouscharacter]

My gynaecologist remarked on how vaginismus is common in women from my conservative culture. The funny thing is that those same purity-focused cultures will want women to have babies asap after marriage even though the women may have sexual dysfunction as a result of their conditioning. Patriarchy is exhausting, y’all.

[@elin_]

This world really hates women.... :/

[@coriroo9323]

@@eponymouscharacter Absolutely it is. Women are more than the imaginary status of their genitals.

[@chhristina]

⁠@@eponymouscharacterthat is so interesting! I come from a religious and conservative family and I suspect I’ve been suffering from vaginismus in the past, I didn’t see this anywhere until you mentioned it and it was like a lightbulb moment for me

[@mslivehaha]

THIS! Purity culture had me feeling guilty and weird even after marriage. We’ve been married almost 10yrs now, and although I’ve definitely come a long way, intimacy issues linked to this pop up every once in awhile ☹️

[@keomeow1936]

This isn't as awkward as "the talk" because they don't even HAVE "the talk". They just give them a ring as a poor substitute with ZERO education involved.

[@ering2467]

So weird for a father to be so invested in their daughter’s sexual activity-or lack thereof.

[@jangminoona]

💯💯💯

[@mxgitsxne7335]

facts. none of a father's business or any parent for that matter

[@rosieweaselby]

I think they know exactly how they treated girls before they were married, and are terrified of their daughter being treated the same way…

[@MoonWitch77]

@@rosieweaselby EXACTLY !!!

[@MekareP]

​@@mxgitsxne7335 I have to strongly disagree with this statement. Parents minding their own business leaves room for abuse, unprotected sex and STDs, incredible harm and unwanted pregnancy. We tried parents not talkint or being involved with their kids and the whole sex discussion. It doesn't work.

[@NO_PJM]

This is beyond creepy. And here's why. The fathers are taking the symbol of romantic commitment between two partners and using it as a means of, if not outright forcing, influencing their daughters' romantic and sexual life as a promise to them as their fathers. This has strong incestuous undertones as well as improper parenting. Let me explain why. Instead of sitting down and having an open communication of bodily autonomy and responsibility, and the reality of being a young woman in today's modern society with the way men are being raised and with the way society views female bodily autonomy, they are choosing a means of control. Instead of sitting down their sons and having open communication about bodily autonomy and female body autonomy and respect and consent and how gentlemen should treat women, they are choosing to control their daughters. So I say this again: this is beyond creepy.

[@Marisol-g8o]

exactly! Poor girl. She's going to have a hard time enjoying sex. She will probably always feel a sense of guilt and shame. Parents should not interfere with their children's sexuality. How invasive! 🤢

[@hollihoutz635]

When I was about 14, my friend circle was very religious and I decided I wanted a purity ring. When I asked my parents for one, my dad straight up said “do what you want, but leave me out of it” 😂👏

[@MoonWitch77]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@handsanitizer5127]

That's a good dad right there 😂

[@Tazazak]

Lmao green flag dad

[@war5561]

Hell yeah

[@crispyyrosee]

@@hollihoutz635 as he should! 👌🏻

[@tammystiletto]

To me it says “if you break this vow you are broken.” There are so much better things to focus on with your own personal spirituality and how you treat others.

[@wendyperdue6650]

As well as being “dirty” since you’re no longer “pure.” Imagine the guilt these poor girls/women must carry if they don’t keep that vow.

[@thebabythesavage]

When I was 18, my parents found a necklace and ring set they’d bought for me when I was a baby, and my father insisted it was a “purity ring.” I asked my mother and she was very confused, was like uh ? No? My parents are immigrants, they didn’t even know about the practice until I was already like, aged out of this crap. It’s sickening conservative Christian emotional incest. You don’t have to be acting like you’re dating your daughter in order to teach her how to be treated by men- you can teach her how men should treat should treat women BY TREATING THE WOMEN AROUND YOU WITH RESPECT. Not treating your daughter like your property is BASIC respect. SMH just detestable. “Wear this ring and remember your parents love you” It’s a purity ring. The message is “Your sexuality is tied in with the love of your parents” and I don’t think I should need to explain why that’s UNHINGED.

[@elin_]

This world is quite creepy huh..

[@andiethongintra409]

Well said 👏

[@VickyRyan2018]

❤❤

[@sammyg4159]

👏👏👏

[@MearnieToon]

Don’t think this is just a fake Christians doing this bs

[@ashley2229]

My mother actually warned me to NOT wait until marriage, because she said that sexual compatibility is extremely important and if you wait and then discover you aren't compatible or there's something about them sexually that you can't live with, then it's not too late. She was so easy to talk to that when I became sexually active at age 16, she helped me get birth control pills so there wouldn't be any surprises. I have always appreciated how open and realistic she was with me about the subject of sex. My dad wasn't around very much because of work, but he would never have interfered with something that at least in our family was a conversation between mother and daughter. His direct input would NOT have been welcome, it would have been weird and mortifying. ❤

[@what.the.whatever]

It was the opposite for me. Both of my parents were involved with that conversation, especially my dad. I was very innocent growing up, but aware. My dad used to tell me that I have to be careful and picky with who I am intimate with because guys are easily convinced to intimacy. I waited until I was 19 and I dated a guy that I went to school with. It was both of our first time. I'm 32 now. I really only reserve intimacy for men that I'm dating or trying to have a committed relationship with. I'm a Catholic and I'm told that I have to wait until marriage, but I feel like a serious committed relationship is close enough

[@hinalshah4092]

Im with it if the boys are asked to pledge not to pursue a girl unless he has intention of marrying her, with a padlock chain or something

[@felinemoonchild]

A padlock and chain around a chastity cage. Yep. Can you imagine Mommy proposing with one of those to her son?

[@Insertia_Nameia]

Nope. While sometimes the rule applies to boys there are pretty much never this extent taken with boys.

[@iolacola]

The scenario you’re describing was once very common, actually! It was essentially known as betrothing, or ‘promising’ oneself to another, usually when still very young (approx. early-mid teens) and was basically a levelled-up pinkie-promise, usually made by a boy to a girl as assurance he _will_ marry her (with a kind of ‘it’ll happen, just sometime in the future ok stop nagging!’ vibe lol), with marriage generally assumed to be after he’s ‘lived a bit’ - such as after he’s completed university, secured a good job & established himself in a ‘seemingly suitable position’ for the responsibility expected of a man & future head of a family. So it was essentially an old-timey version of what we call ‘getting engaged’, but kinda different as it was far more distant, would typically - but not always - involve some degree of external influence (family usually), and was overwhelmingly considered a promise that the man makes, with the underlying assumption being that the girl in the situation would marry immediately if she could. It would seem that this was a handy way to keep the girl strung along, in a sense, but also ‘pure’, ‘keeping herself’ (ack) for him and dedicated to him even when there may be essentially no contact for extended periods of time. So, needless to say that for the women involved, who have been told their whole lives that their _raison d’être_ is to be married and have babies, this promise was taken VERY seriously. Regarding the blokes…ehhh not so much (not always though! Women do be acting sly too, I know). *It was not out of the ordinary for scorned and spurned women of broken ‘promises’ to actually SUE some of these men (yep they could do that) for reneging on their betrothals! Which, considering society 100 or so years ago, compounded with the awful suppression of women’s agency & liberty, _and_ the fact we were being considered ‘old maids’ at 25, seems kinda fair to me tbh! 🤷🏻‍♀️ (BTW, imagine if you could sue someone for ghosting you in 2024?? It would be chaos 😆) Anyhoo thanks for reading if you made it this far! 👏 ☺️✌️

[@CandiiBabiie]

If they're serious they'll wear a pp cage you know

[@missmangopudding]

This actually is a thing and its not good at all (the Duggars actually followed this and called it "courting" instead of "dating".. it was a whole movement in the fundamentalist community). This kind of environment sucks for girls AND boys and leads to a lot of unhappy marriages and other issues.

[@susanv6297]

I feel like calling up my dad to say thank you. When I was a teenager he didn’t do any creepy thing like purity rings. Instead, he took me to the batting cages on Saturdays and then to get shakes and hamburgers after. He’s a great dad!

[@KeelyTheHeretic]

No one seggualizes girls more than conservative christians 🤢 It'd be wonderful if these dads taught their daughters about safe s3x, narc abu$e, and consent rather than their worth being tied to some made up BS like virginity. So disturbing, but this was popular in the 90s too.

[@elin_]

Muslim men are pretty skilled at it too.

[@lori_jo]

right! sexualizing a literal girl without teaching them about safe sex. tying their value to a made up concept. wiiilldd. give your child lots of love and teach them to be good human beings to others that’s all we need in life tbfh.

[@Tazazak]

@@elin_thank you for treating the two equal. Muslim purity culture and the awful treatment women go through is not talked about enough

[@Desmondenae_]

Tbh it's dumb to say virginity is fake, virginity means you haven't had sex ..therefore its not a "made up" concept. I honestly don't think the intention is to sexualize them but as a parent they fail when they don't teach them in the way they are supposed to, telling kids to wait never worked and it never will. People have to have a deep understanding of why and decide for themselves, that's why it doesn't work when they do it this way.

[@lori_jo]

@@Desmondenae_ the word meant different things throughout history, it wasn’t until later that sexual abstinence was attached to it therefore it is a made up concept that was made up by men to give woman value so if you’re ever enlightened enough to decenter men from your life you will come to the epiphany that the concept of virginity was made up by men for men. besides the world exists outside of bibles and old religious world views.

[@Bug.Carlton]

I never policed my kids sexuality. I always spoke to them about their body being THEIR body. When they were ready to have sex, i asked that they would tell me so i could get them condoms and birth control. I got pregnant at 17 and i was raised in a religious doomsday cult. My son is 22 and does not have a child and my daughter will be 18 in a month and isn't pregnant. I feel like my job as a parent was done pretty well on that front.

[@moymoy8]

telling kids not to do something doesnt stop them. i love that you just wanted to make sure they were safe, you’re definitely doing a good job☺️

[@cultivatinggrace]

There is absolutely no son/male equivalent to this. It’s f-ing gross.

[@candacebarlow9296]

The Jonas Brothers all wore purity rings when they were young

[@kateh2893]

@@candacebarlow9296 did their mom ask them to wear it in a semi-public display? did she police their sexual and romantic lives until they were married?

[@candacebarlow9296]

@@kateh2893 I was a fully grown adult, so I don't know all the details. I know they wore them publicly and talked about them and that's it

[@nipiti]

@@candacebarlow9296 yeah because disney made them

[@bridgeotto3320]

​@@candacebarlow9296so 3 boys. There's no boys in any purity ball, but if the Jonas Brothers did it then it's equal and not misogyny. Interesting 🤔

[@bubblegumpopproductions5459]

Um for anyone wondering, I got something akin to a purity ring when I was 16 by my stepdad who was very abusive toward me. I dealt with a lot of SA and harassment from him. Any man who feels like his daughter needs to pledge her VIRGINITY to him is majorly disgusting. Don’t be afraid to call that guy what he rightfully is…a predator..

[@SheOwensItAll]

Perhaps it's my religious trauma but if this was TRULY about guarding a young person's heart before marriage, then parents would be engaging in this "act" with both their sons and daughters. The posturing of the proposal feels like just another attempt for men to control and dictate a woman's choice under the excuse of religion 🙄

[@kenbrb6261]

amen!

[@elin_]

They're really good at controlling

[@tammystiletto]

Agreed

[@brmc5381]

It's also a way for them to make women responsible for mens crappy behavior

[@SheOwensItAll]

@@brmc5381 THAT PART! Please say it louder....why would I need to dress like a potato sack because you lack self-control? gtfo.

[@wayasaunooke3424]

I don't even like the "daddy/daughter date" thing, when men pick up their daughters and give flowers, then go to dinner etc. I understand its teaching her what a date should be like etc, but even that makes me uncomfortable. My dad would have never called us hanging out a "date" 🤢 The proposal of purity rings is a whole other level omg, every part of it is just gross 😩

[@justkiddin84]

I think the dad’s could take the kids along for a date with their wife, and explain that anyone the kids date should respect them and act with kindness and love toward you-or you leave. Set the example with your spouse, not the child. 🧐

[@wayasaunooke3424]

@justkiddin84 that would be so much healthier! ♡

[@butterchicken83]

Every time I think social media can't get creepier, it proves me so disgustingly wrong.

[@reinventingmeesh]

Hahshahah😂😂😂

[@goldensloth7]

this happened wayyyyy before social media

[@teri2466]

​@@goldensloth7Yep, it's been around for decades. But not so many people knew about it. Sometimes I hate the Internets.

[@themerlinaazul]

It's not social media, it's just people that are creepy lol. We're all just a lot more aware of all the crap that goes on now thanks to social media.

[@MidwestArtist]

I think you mean religion.

[@kat1701]

These fathers treat their daughters like chattel.

[@H.A.-zr2wc]

Robert desperately trying to stay nice about it 😂😂😂😂

[@crispyyrosee]

Fighting for his life 😂

[@sarahrenee1007]

@@crispyyroseethe number of times he had to pause and reconsider wording….. 😅😂

[@skarac3224]

He was SWEATING

[@oishikaray2767]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤

[@Link-1004]

This is how I talk at my VERY Christian workplace. 😅😂

[@zekaay]

I am only 1:24 in and already want to scream and puke...whaaaaatttt "sure no judgement", but when my 32 year old christian friend finally married a 21 year old boy and complained about not knowing what to do about sexual problems one year into the relationship I was just thinking "so much for not finding out what you want and need".

[@SnoodleDoot]

In the restaurant, really? Right in front of my salad? 😂😂

[@stephanieorr221]

😂so uncomfortable.

[@TolaTolaTola]

😂😂😂😂

[@auroraborealiseme2698]

😂😂

[@pnjsmom26]

The look on her sister’s face makes me think she broke the “vow” and everyone knows except maybe her dad.

[@elizabethr4107]

🤣

[@PlaceholderName-b4d]

The levels of incestual feelings emanating from the dad are off the charts

[@leilaloo2399]

6:40 “the gift you can only give one time.” 🤢🤢🤢 This idea that virginity is a gift and once you give it you lose value still gives me the ick and it always has. I was raised in a very conservative christian home and that phrase really grosses me out.

[@ali_b_lush2]

This! Exactly what I was thinking.

[@KatherineAcosta20]

In this purity circles, they use several metaphors, one of them is chewed gum 🤢

[@leilaloo2399]

@@KatherineAcosta20 yes! Chewing gum, crushed roses, toothpaste, the list goes on.

[@elisabethscott20]

I'm not happy you went through that but I am happy I'm not alone. It all gives me the ick too ☹️

[@Desmondenae_]

I agree with waiting but I also disagree with saying it's a "gift" to your future spouse , I don't like that phrase. Rather than saying their virginity is a gift, it's better to explain the value you have as a person and why temporary people don't deserve you. Waiting shouldn't even be about your future spouse it should be about protecting yourself.

[@xxromanovaxx6682]

Fathers caring so much about their daughter's sexuality is gross and weird af

[@danivi4435]

How is not having sex equal to being pure? Wtf is going on in these people’s minds?!

[@goldensloth7]

and boys never get "purity" rings

[@nicoleck9288]

Because we Americans are obsessed with virginity. It’s absolutely bonkers and just shames the shit out of young women. It’s all so gross!

[@Madamchief]

Women are property in their minds

[@bridgeotto3320]

​@@nicoleck9288it's not a strictly American thing. Religions tend to be obsessed with virginity or purity. This whole thing comes from ancient customs of daughters being the property of their fathers and sold to their husbands. Virgins would sell for more. It's all very misogynistic and disgusting

[@Missyisbored]

why do American ppl always assume it’s an American problem It’s everywhere. Everyone is obsessed with women virginity. They like innocent and child like girls. YES they like GIRLS not WOMEN. They like KIDS “pure and ”innocent”, “childish” girls.

[@candicekies]

My favorite part of this, is the divorce rate in the US is over 40% right now. So please gift this to your husband only. However, statistically, you may have to re-gift it😂

[@hellsbells8689]

If Prog 2025 becomes a thing, you won't have to worry about the divorce rates. There will be none. 🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀🤦‍♀

[@Throatzillaaa]

Men like this who are so invested in their daughter's virginity (which is a sexist, antiquated concept anyway) sicken me. It's giving the impression that these fathers believe they own their daughter's body.

[@goldensloth7]

YUP

[@mxgitsxne7335]

it's very much giving polonius from hamlet

[@sassykat2587]

Trust me, they do believe it. Frankly, I never believed in the whole 'giving your daughter away' line they/parents love to sprout either, or the guy asking first for the daughter's hand in marriage, it feels like nothing but property being moved from one hand to the other. Imo, they shouldn't have a say, especially if it's before the daughter.

[@Cantetinza17]

Can you imagine the moment a father knows their a father to a daughter their focused on their vagina for the rest of their lives.

[@bribrilolzOG]

8:08 what’s wrong with this is that is isn’t rooted in love, it’s rooted in possession. It’s given as a way to subtly control someone. It would be more appropriate if it were presented as an option.

[@tiffanylynn8376]

It’s such an awkward and uncomfortable position to put a child in. Kids are so vulnerable and look to their parents for guidance so this seems manipulative and abusive imo. It preys on the child’s naivety, and their lack of understanding of the autonomy they should have over their bodies.

[@Waywardthumbs]

She is 20 to be fair, still a power dynamic though and still weird af but I don’t think her age comes into it. Do agree it’s so awkward and uncomfortable position to put your daughter in

[@bridgeotto3320]

​@@Waywardthumbsdid you only watch the first minute of the video?

[@ericadrake387]

And the fact it’s done in such a public way, whether it be at a ball or filmed & put on the internet, it’s so coercive. She feels like she can’t say no & then it’s put out into the world as very public “hands of my daughter” type thing. I also can’t help think the jewellery is a distraction. “Let me ask you this really inappropriate thing while you’re still young enough to not fully understand & to stop you from thinking about it too much, let me distract you with this shiny thing, that’s more expensive than anything you’ve had before, so you think what I’m doing is a nice thing”. The 20 year old… I don’t know it just feels extra icky to me. Trust me, I find the asking it of a child EXTREMELY icky but she’s an ADULT, that’s so weird. The father is trying to take agency of her sex life as an adult, it’s so gross!

[@PiXie232]

@@Waywardthumbsthat's even weirder then, if she's TWENTY years old and her father is pulling this crap. It's weird regardless of what age they are. She's an adult and her father needs to be treating her like one- not like some childish little girl who "needs" daddy's permission and protection regarding their sexuality.

[@xeaux]

It’s incredibly manipulative & that’s the entire point. If it was solely about god or religion, the father wouldn’t have said, “do you promise to god and to ME to remain pure?” It would have just been about god, or better yet, something the young woman wanted to do on her own without her father involved or it being videotaped & put online.

[@franceskeller4536]

The discomfort on the girls’ faces tells you everything you need to know about what and how they are feeling 😳

[@alicalavera]

I am HORRIFIED! I’m not on TikTok so I didn’t know this was a thing, the way I gasped when I saw the first guy get on his knee. Emotional incest much

[@mxgitsxne7335]

same.. wish I could go back to life before knowing this existed

[@mariabilbrey1981]

I couldn’t even look at it. I covered my eyes!

[@mwillis7791]

I haven’t even started this yet but as an exmormon im so triggered. This idea that a man has ownership over his daughter’s body until he passes her on to another man is so disgusting.

[@Clarytee217]

That’s emotionally abusive, intrusive and weird. Nothing about this is normal or healthy. You may not judge people for purity rings but I sure do.

[@elin_]

I do judge too, and I'm not planning on stopping. Someone has to call them out for their insanity.

[@Cantetinza17]

All the girls care about that it's pretty. If it was ugly, they'd run for the hills.

[@S.Uranus]

​@@elin_ Facts

[@kimcreatesstuff]

I had a purity ring but when I took the purity pledge, it wasn’t like this. It was literally me signing a some little card we all took home from the abstinence seminar we were all at. My mom found the card a few years ago when she was cleaning out my childhood bedroom. Her reaction? She texts me a pic of it with the caption “that didn’t age very well.” 😂 😂

[@greenishladybug6178]

i don’t understand how it’s expected of the daughter to keep her purity until marriage. fathers want and encourage their sons to go out with girls and such but as soon as it’s the other way around, it’s a no go.

[@marjorambee3521]

It's because these are the same men who treat women as property, so they know there are other men out there like themselves.

[@Mortibella]

Well.. a lot of men/people believe that there are women you bed and women you wed. It’s absolutely a classist idea.

[@catalina202]

As a person born in America....this whole thing makes me uncomfortable.......😖😖😖😖

[@Amila-ym7ny]

Why is the responsibility of "purity" always on the woman? Guys will lie to a girl and manipulate her just for sex but somehow SHE is the one at fault. How dare you fall for his promises!! Where is the blame on the guy for emotionally manipulating a girl?

[@IAmSweetPea]

You are so eloquent even when saying “fucking creep” I just love you so much Robert!!!

[@raenoway]

Yeah, I grew up with a VERY fundamentalist/evangelical Christian mother (her family was the same) but thank god my dad was a low key feminist. When I was told by my cult-curious youth group pastor that my “mission from god” was to serve my husband in all ways. I was 15 and not having any of that. My dad said “F it and you live the life that makes you happy. You’re a good person and god accepts that!!” Love my dad!!!

[@elin_]

Wow.. He's a rare one when it comes to religious people

[@CandyCornlynn]

A mission from God is trying to put the band back together 😂

[@tammystiletto]

Omg that’s awesome

[@gasparinha]

​@@CandyCornlynn OMG 🕴️🕴️

[@michelledawn7446]

I argued with people on TikTok about how creepy and weird this. People were telling me I didn’t understand, that it’s not weird and it’s just their religion. I grew up in church and I went to purity events. I have personal experience and understanding about it. I was told that I need to save myself for my husband and to dress modestly as to not make men stumble. I’m glad I never had to experience a purity ball at least. I’m tired of this misogyny.

[@hovsepii7718]

if this was a wattpad romance story then the girl would go on to find a "bad boy" that would take the ring off literally and metaphorically, then wear it as a necklace.

[@dresden123456]

lol bonus points for his name being Hunter or Hardin or something equally dumb

[@Aya-xc7su]

Oh nooooo girl defined Bethany’s husband wears hers😂

[@nicolamoir8839]

​@Aya-xc7su why do I find this so distasteful? 🤢

[@MarieBSleepin]

Very conquer-y, I kinda hate to love it.

[@HandsomeMalcolmcats]

She’ll let him wear her “ring”

[@sanchisan6997]

A gift you can only give once? Sir, we got the gift that keeps on giving! 😂😂

[@makenzienohr4105]

As a lifelong atheist, I try to be open-minded and understanding of all religions and their practices. But there’s a line, and all things “purity” blow past that line like a freight train

[@elin_]

As an agnostic atheist I find it really hard to be accepting of religions when they're so damn misogynist and homophobic. I really struggle to see what's good with religions.

[@emma0348]

​@@elin_(sorry for being annoying and actually trying to answer your -probs rhetorical- question) i was raised by agnostic/atheist parents and still am a happy, convinced humanist atheist and i have often asked myself the same question. I came up with the following answers (after a period of clinical depression and "soul"-searching, also while studying for my BA in History lol just for context): religion provides HOPE for most people; either in way of a promised afterlife that will be better than a current existence, it provides COMMUNITY (church/mosk/spiritual kinfolk), a SENSE OF BELONGING/PURPOSE (our heavenly father created me in his image, this must mean my existence isnt pointless, my being isnt worthless as an ombipotent being specifically created me, thus my life has worth)-note: this was a sentiment i very much related to in my times of depression and i actually envied those who truly believe they are "created" for a specific reason and rhey have some "heavenly father figure" that always watches over them and loves them unconditionally lol as i was insanely lonely all the time at point; furthermore, it provides STRUCTURE/REGIMEN: words and guidelines to live by. All humans have a certain hunger for structure, and in an overwhelming world it can be very comforting to have those "rules to live by" already written out for you, especially if you believe its source to be one of excellence and loving warmth, AND even more so if you believe those rules to provide you with a key to eternal happiness in the end. Religions have been very integral to much of our and others cultures worldwide in the abovementioned way. Centuries ago, rhey provided answers to human fears, when science couldnt (why does it rhunder?. There is a god that makes it thunder! Why is there a famine? The gods must be unruly/God must not be happy with us humans) and gave them comfort and kinship with those around them. Religions have been a fundament for almost every current culture existing worldwide in many ways, they have influenced everyones sense of morality, whether wanted or unwanted, our traditions, our habits.. so religion definitely has a purpose. I just dont personally subscribe to that way of thinking and have no need for it in my life. With regards to this purity shit my opinion is very much different and since i have been blabbering for way too long, i wont bore anyone with my opinion (in short: i think its disgusting and incestuous and a gross way religious fanatics express their sexism and regain control over the women in their family/surroundings) but your question made me have this stream of consciousness-thihking session that i typed out lol

[@emma0348]

Also i just came back from a night out, so sorry for all the typos lol

[@sheshosha]

As a boy of a mom, how about instead of gatekeeping daughters’ purity, how about we teach our boys to be good, kind, respectful, supportive men? These make me cringe SO much

[@tins369]

Isn't it nice that daughters can't make their own decisions about their own body and their sexuality? 🙄 I imagine the fathers will give the contracts to the boyfriends so that they'll have the "control" over the girls body ... beautiful!

[@emyf9197]

ok pseudo feminist calm down... its not always about "my body my choice" for them it seems to be a religious thing but then again only americans or western ppl in general has a problem about traditional values, yall have tv shows about teen pregnancy, multiple kids with multiple ppl, encourage teens to breed like cats n dogs

[@xletragedyx]

I want to see one where the girl says no 😂

[@Sofiagues]

​@@xletragedyxor even replies with sorry to late 😆

[@Adardidnothingwrong]

​@@xletragedyxI was one such girl. It wasn't a ring, but I went to a religious school and my dad was friends with the guy who ran the Chastity club. He pressured me to join over and over and over until I finally said, listen my virginity is my business and I don't feel like discussing it in a room with strangers. He left me alone after that

[@kathareenmcknight8065]

Ok, about the purity culture… it’s big in some parts of America. You gotta understand, American was settled by religious zealots. That’s the basis for most of American religious practices. The whole purity rings/marriages to one’s father is based on pure patriarchy as well as religious zealotry. It implies that a girl’s body and sexual purity belongs to the man in her life. Outside of marriage it’s her father. (Yes, I threw up a little when I said this.) And only when she marries does her body and sexual purity belong to her husband. (Equally as nauseating.) it implies absolutely no sense of self. You are an object that is solely for the purpose and possession of a man. But it’s rooted in religion, so it’s ok to pass down and propagate among the youth of the regions where this is still happening. The majority of America does not partake in this. But it is a known, and somewhat accepted practice of a portion of American society. America is not a monolith. We have people of all types. And a lot of them have practices that seem absolutely ridiculous to the rest of the world.

[@Talqu1lla]

This reminds me of when T.I. said he goes to his daughter's gynecology appointment to make sure her hymen is intact.

[@elin_]

My goodness he's so gross

[@mxgitsxne7335]

WTF

[@howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef]

Screams "pdf file"

[@ladyofkasnova]

WTF? That's gross.

[@LottieTrueman]

Excuse me why I go puke 🤮

[@2okaycola]

Ewwwwww! So she can get abused & divorced & be a single mother by 30? No thank you

[@chopsieflores4844]

This is absolutely true. My parents were part of a religion cult when I was growing up. I don't claim that church. I was not allowed to do any afterschool activities because there would be boys there who might not be supervised. I lived my life in my bedroom growing up. When I escaped, I went to college (scholarship - my parents wanted me to continue staying in my room and coming out to cook and clean. I met my ex when I was 19 - one year of interacting with young men. I was abused and divorced with kids by 30. Funny thing. That church labeled me a fallen woman. My ex was just fine to them. Sorry, I went on and on.

[@whitneycloud9419]

@@chopsieflores4844 I'm sorry you experienced that!

[@themaddtatter6679]

They've modernized the chastity belt...😂

[@Nails_By_Kimberlee]

Never thought of it in those terms but you're 🎯🎯🎯

[@digitalbrinjen3245]

Pretty much, yeah.

[@ecoquilting7077]

"Call a locksmith.....!"

[@katrinastock6983]

Robert (and James) thank you so much for always supporting women and calling out the double standard we still constantly face in so many aspects of life. We wouldn’t have to always choose the bear if more men LISTENED to women. Whether a man is attracted to women or not, you can still do the bare minimum and respect our judgement regarding what we do and don’t do with OUR bodies.

[@wellhi2430]

Can people stop being so weird about what girls with their bodies? It's okay to want them to be safe, but a father proposing to his daughter that she can't have sex is too far.

[@S.Uranus]

Exactly

[@pyroxblaze]

I think you hit the nail on the head with your commentary over the Tiktok of the girl who was buying herself a purity ring. It's all about CHOICE and AUTONOMY.

[@shadylane8672]

20yo? Like driving, filing taxes, not being able to drink, post high school, can vote 20yo???? I graduated from a private Christian school, and they wouldn't hold purity banquets but the purity culture was pushed to the girls during special school chapel services and they used the Jonas Brothers as an example.

[@MareMarMarie]

Omg!! Did they worship Tim Tebow too😂😂? I survived 1 year of Christian school. It was awful! I got in trouble & written up for my lower back briefly showing when sat down in a fully backed chair when my pants and shirt separated.

[@StephF88]

Yeah, the girls. 🙄

[@shadylane8672]

@@MareMarMarie They wanted him to be a guest speaker and for the 2 years we had a football team, the players knelt...

[@shadylane8672]

@@StephF88 I don't remember if the boys were talked to but if they were, it was more on the lines of "being a good provider and fierce follower of Christ."

[@StephF88]

@@shadylane8672 the sexism is real

[@karenglenn6707]

I’m Australian and was raised in the Baptist church here in the 60’s and early 70’s. The Baptist church in Australia is nothing like the evangelical Baptist churches in the US. Our church was really no different to the Church of England , the Methodist or the Presbyterian churches. Dancing was fine, rock music was fine, having fun was fine. No censorship at home and I was allowed to go and see AC/DC live with the great Bon Scott in the mid 70’s as a teenager. I have never heard of a purity ring in my life. To those of us in Australia, these extremist churches are just bizarre and ours bear no resemblance to them or their general out look on life, gays, LGBTQ, nothing is the same. Weird!!

[@Fallendown45]

I was a virgin till I was married. It was cultural and religious but I have never imposed it on my kids. I talk with them all the time, constantly. Why boys are not put through this and is only imposed on girls?

[@elin_]

Misogyny is why.. :/

[@Insertia_Nameia]

Because it only "devalues" the girls in their eyes.

[@nimeryaspawnbrd1049]

The historical reason was because there were no paternity tests back then. In a political/dynastic marriage, you wanted to be sure-ish of the heir's lineage. Of course, this was mainly intended for upper class women, nobody really cared if the farm girl fooled around. And yes, even back then they knew it was not a real guarantee. Nowadays is obviously just a really gross practice rooted in the deepest bigotry.

[@yektaangel1234]

The sons are encouraged to be with girls to get it “out of their system” before they’re married. It’s so gross

[@Cantetinza17]

My friend was as well. Sadly, after her wedding night, she contracted the clap and HIV. Her husband lied about being a virgin. I felt awful for her.

[@prettynpetty8342]

I'm from Georgia. I went to a school that practiced these things. We had father-daughter dances and mother-daughter teas. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my parents essentially put my sibling and I in a cult. I'm still unlearning all the f-cked up stuff that was ingrained in us. I don't think we were ever given rings. If we did receive one, I absolutely lost and forgot about it. One thing I really hate about this "purity" ring, that's basically implied, is that if the daughter is ever sexually assaulted before getting married that must mean that she courted the idea. Right? She must have wanted it, otherwise she wouldn't wear the ring. It tanglible proof that puts the onus on the girl as she reaches puberty in her later years to never be tempted, aroused, come to terms with her sexuality, or even talk about it while trying to get boys her own age, the same boys who are encouraged to be attracted to girls and pursue them, to back off. The ring represents total repression. It's cruel.

[@amaliachristina]

Its beyond creepy how they want to control their daughter's bodies so badly that they're going this far to manipulate them to do so.

[@jayofthedeadd]

People can have the right to their own beliefs, but this policing of women’s virginity will forever be gross to me. The only role a parent should have in that aspect is making sure their child is educated and supported. It’s proven that teens are more responsive to education than pure abstinence.

[@Charlies-angel2018]

I have a major problem with them being called purity rings. If you want to make an abstinence promise, that’s fine. But to judge a girl as pure, only if she’s a virgin. I don’t like such a negative connotation on those who have made other choices (and it’s a bigger slap in the face to those who had the choice forced on them).

[@bridgeotto3320]

The worst part is there are girls who were forced and disowned by parents like these because they blamed them for it happening.

[@larrenlistens]

And what are girls who don’t find the right “man” or don’t wish to be married at all supposed to do? There are layers of control to this. 😬

[@chopsieflores4844]

If a girl can't find a husband, then she becomes the caretaker of the parents. Firm expectation of this role at fundamentalist cult I was born into. smh

[@larrenlistens]

@@chopsieflores4844 So if they don’t marry, the only option is to basically become a slave to your parents??? 🫨

[@cindygr8ce]

The US Speaker of the House did this exact grossness within daughter....he also has his adopted son monitor his horn usage. It's nasty AF

[@sisuguillam5109]

He tried to scrubb the thing with his daughter from the internet. But german telly filmed the whole thing. And they are holding on to that footage for dear life.

[@gasparinha]

That video is 👩‍🍳😙. I especially love the reporter basically treating the whole thing like an anthropological expedition. "A sighting of Fundies in the wild..." LOL

[@ixy741]

im 25 years old and just got a promotion at work and bought my first house by myself. biggest accomplishment of my life. and all my parents are concerned over is if im gonna start having sex when i move out. my dad used to follow me when i went to school to check i wasn't going anywhere else. it got so bad that when i was going to university i would just miss classes and not go so i wouldn't get interrogation about where i was. it ruined my life. i have no friends and scared of the outside world. i have a very loving bf they dont know about and i cant wait to move and start my life on my own terms and not be scared and anxious 24/7. i just want to live in a world where my worth is not based on my 'purity'

[@darkangel4185]

This is groomer energy. His 2 brothers have /or are still in jail for PDF FILE. I'm so disgusted by this behavior. Welcome to the Bible Belt.

[@rigginsrallygirl]

Hold up…you know this for sure about his brothers? Some lady was telling me that it isn’t grooming and isn’t raising kids grooming them anyway. Also that I must have a low IQ because I said this was sick and he was grooming her.

[@xletragedyx]

I'm just imagining the logistics of an engagement ring for a prepubescent or early pubescent girl. I'm a grown regular sized woman and I wear a size 6 ring. How tiny are the rings for little girls marrying their dads?

[@alixmcknight]

So I was raised Christian and am still Christian, but we aren’t a conservative family. This practice is so unhealthy in my opinion. These girls are being taught that their father controls their sexual decisions. In my experience a young girl isn’t talking with her father on these types of subjects if she can help it, but rather finds women in her life that she might trust like her mother, aunt, friends mom, grandmother, etc. The whole thing paints a picture (to me at least) of not a concern for the daughter’s health and safety when it comes to her future sexual decisions, but rather a concern for upholding the patriarchy. The simulation of the proposal and wedding is unbelievably creepy. I love spending time with my dad but that would just be strange. Just have healthy conversations with your kids on these topics, and treat them with respect. I agree that the lady purchasing her own purity ring was sweet. It’s just her holding a promise to herself and God that this is something she wants to uphold.

[@voidcat7013]

Purity culture is so dangerous bc humans need to be able to expirence intimacy at their own pace to explore what they enjoy and don't like at all. It's to help everyone know who they are personally and what are their hard limits to keep themselves safe. Ofc I'm not saying kids should be doing these things with other ppl but it's completely normal and human to want to start to get to know urself and what u like at ur own pace. I've always hated prude ppl saying it's disgusting to self please or have sex without marriage, bc if u only ever expirence those things when u are married, u can find out that u don't like the things ur partner does and it can become a big problem.

[@mxgitsxne7335]

exactly.. people should listen to their own bodies and take things at their own pace instead of feeling forced to commit to purity and stuff.

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

You can discover these things with your husband

[@LaineyBug2020]

My Dad baptized me when I was 14 (later half of 8th grade). I had to study a 6 week Bible study course to prove I was mature enough to know what I was committing to. That was all he needed. No dress, no ring, just went up after Sunday Services. Friends and family (most of the congregation) stayed for a potluck after we sang a few songs in a circle and hugged everyone when I came out after drying off. Did the same thing for the boys in the youth group. Specific Purity ceremonies are just creepy. It's too close to handing your autonomy to someone else. Being baptized was very much taking ownership of your choices going forward and how they affect your relationship with God, not your parents. My parents always made sure I knew my worth wasn't tied to my purity. We even had youth group leaders that were very honest about their own premarital sexual experiences and how they impacted their lives and future choices.

[@rebeccakepley6189]

This is not like having the talk. Parents should be able to talk to their children about safe sexual practices and consent and be open to them asking questions about their body changing. This is completely different and disturbing

[@euodiaclitterhouse4726]

It's not borderline incestuous. It is ENTIRELY incestuous

[@AKbaby89]

I'm 35 and watching this while in the car with my dad, and ive never been so grateful that he's basically deaf. I'm so uncomfortable 😂😂

[@PlaceholderName-b4d]

The idea of using headphones to listen to videos in your phone so that you don't bother anyone else and nobody finds you weird never crossed your mind?

[@pokeydot1975]

My son (now 20) and I had "the talk" when he was younger. We discussed the importance of protection and mutual respect. I told him that "no" is a complete sentence. END OF. I've never once involved myself in his smex life or tried to control it. Because...ewwwww

[@StephF88]

He's doing this at 20?! That's the weirdest part to me.

[@Mortibella]

My dad repeated the “you only have one gift” BS. My virginity was taken by my bf wo consent at 17. My self worth was very much tied to my virginity. I know that my dad meant well and was just parroting the BS he was taught. Ive made sure to talk to my sons about consent and that their virginity or lack thereof has no bearing on their worth as a human being.

[@SheilaMarguerite]

OMG I saw this on Tiktok and this gives me SUCH creepy vibes, it's so gross to me.

[@beth319]

As a strict mother of 2 girls 18&24 I never heard of this. Over the years I always expressed they could talk to me about anything without me getting angry or punishing, we would talk it out and I earned their trust that way as yes both my girls came right to me at 17 & 20 when they became active. And yes they were immediately put on birth control. However I don’t judge to each their own. I am definitely blessed with my girls!

[@crabbycancer85]

Just saw this! So disturbing. Someone needs to check his computer, asap.

[@THEMamaVicky]

I was thinking the same

[@Ms9mmBeretta]

This the ONE.

[@anazamarripa]

I decided to take an abstinence pact in church when I was a teen. Nobody asked me or forced me to do it. It was a decision made by ME. And I followed through because I wanted to. Again, I made my decisions. It’s so weird to see fathers telling their daughters when to do with such an intimate part of their lives.

[@melissaselenebeauty]

My parents got me a purity ring when I was a teenager. I lost it 😂😂😂

[@tamrasmith1744]

Was that the only thing you lost. 😂 Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

[@itshertheaccursedwitch718]

@@tamrasmith1744😂😂😂😂

[@HanQ28]

I would never give a teenager a ring and not expect her to lose it. I lost all my rings to the point that I stopped buying them lol

[@Amanda-sp4gy]

You lost the purity or the ring?😂

[@glh5622]

Whomp whomp 😂

[@alfredfreedomjones5105]

I also thought the girl buying the purity ring for herself was very sweet and charming ☺️ She gets to choose the design as well!

[@JustAFace_InTheCrowd]

0:39 As an American…. If you said very Alabama… then…. You’d be slightly more accurate. The rumors about some of the states out here are wild. 😂

[@montananerd8244]

Those rumors are not based on data, but on cultural stereotypes. There are definitely some ugly problems across rural America but you urbanites treat us all like shit on your shoe. The biggest case of an extended incest family in North America in recent years was in eastern Canada. Just know that you are spreading pro-eugenics propaganda and you are bigoted. Congrats.

[@bridgeotto3320]

Ironically with everyone calling Alabama the incestuous state, it's illegal there, but legal in New Jersey 😂

[@TylerHy]

This always felt like a level of control that carries into adulthood. "Innocence" and "purity" like the ring coming from the parents feels like a weight and restriction on the child. Like the parents will be disappointed if she breaks the promise forced upon her. This heavily implies she'll be "impure" if and when she isn't a virgin. Thats soooo much pressure on a child. They will do all this instead of having The Talk. A parents love and respect for their child should not be tied to a girl's virginity. It's 2024 let's have The Talk and educate boys and girls.

[@katypagemusic1260]

God! If my dad came up to me at 20 and said “here’s a promise ring to keep your virginity” a) I’d tell him to f off and b) I’d be like “dude, that ship has soooo sailed!”😂😂 And for that dad that said “it’s a gift you can only give once” I feel sorry for your wife! He doesn’t know women well as it’s a gift that keeps on giving with the right partner!😂😂😂❤

[@hellsbells8689]

At 20y/o I would have told my dad to shut up, sit down and hold your grandchild.

[@gasparinha]

My answer would've been, "If Mom had waited, you wouldn't have knocked her up at 17 and I wouldn't be here!" 😂 There's nothing like having teenage parents to make you very circumspect about the thing (I was almost 22, and finally not dating a jerk). Regardless, my father doesn't do tricky conversations. He is the living embodiment of that Homer Simpson meme where he dissolves into the hedge.

[@jurbauer]

I was looking for this comment! I was thinking the EXACT SAME THING!

[@skyrah1568]

Abstinence should be a choice not a requirement or promise to anyone and by far not a character deciding factor.

[@AldiSox]

Robert is gorgeous, smart, and kind. Thank you Robert. 💜

[@wintersnow88]

Eww the one dad calling his daughters virginity a 'gift' is truly disgusting.

[@ShortyStylez]

The concept of purity, I guess I understand it. There's gotta be another way to go about it. It's weird af. I have a 20 year old daughter, and if her dad acted like this, i would be concerned, it screams red flags.

[@rachelm1085]

At 5.33 mark i loved the comment about the promise of keeping your room tidy 😂😂😂

[@myaalexander354]

American here. We do not claim this as a nation! This is a trend within a segment of evangelicals but it's as cringe to the rest of us as I imagine it is to you. Especially when they film it for social media. The idea that the entire world needs to know you claim ownership of your grown daughter's hymen...oh, THE ICK. There's nothing wrong with making the commitment in general but the daddy/daughter element is so, so uncomfortable.

[@333Happymuffin]

Why aren’t the mothers proposing to their sons with purity rings?